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  1. #1321
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    how are typical college classes? is it like highschool where u have homework, projects, and presentations? having a tough ****ing time deciding what to do. i don't have it in me to do 3 math highschool classes. **** would cost me 1500 and like 9 months. ****in every career needs a bachelors. looking at this warehouse position "bachelor's degree preferred" what the fuk

    a kind of want to just quit working and focus on education or something, but sounds like a bad ****in idea at the same time. i'd probably lose motivation and find another chit job. i've been working chit jobs for so long its actually so hard to imagine myself getting an actual professional career. like just thinking about how many people have professional careers at my age is so ****ing crazy i just idk, i feel like im in denial but at the same time i know i ****ed up life so hard.

    its as if i've been so ****ing high for a decade. and then i finally sober up and realized i actually wasted a decade. it's like ****in interstellar when the go into that ****ing planet, and come back and like 30 years have past by. giving me such ****ing hardcore anxiety thinking about it.
    Last edited by 2RDEYE; 01-16-2018 at 12:53 AM.
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  2. #1322
    ⎝⎠⎝⎠⎝⎠⎝⎠⎝⎠⎝⎠⎝⎠ Fang2's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    how are typical college classes? is it like highschool where u have homework, projects, and presentations? having a tough ****ing time deciding what to do. i don't have it in me to do 3 math highschool classes. **** would cost me 1500 and like 9 months. ****in every career needs a bachelors. looking at this warehouse position "bachelor's degree preferred" what the fuk

    a kind of want to just quit working and focus on education or something, but sounds like a bad ****in idea at the same time. i'd probably lose motivation and find another chit job. i've been working chit jobs for so long its actually so hard to imagine myself getting an actual professional career. like just thinking about how many people have professional careers at my age is so ****ing crazy i just idk, i feel like im in denial but at the same time i know i ****ed up life so hard.
    Idk how it is in Canada, but in the US, they are tough if you procrastinate. Listen to your instructor, record the lectures, study every night until you get the material, and be ready for the exams because some are very tricky. Or you can just take online classes here as well and work at your own pace.
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  3. #1323
    Not Aesthetic or Happy TheWeeknd4Ever's Avatar
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    went out but just felt sober as hell....

    couldn't really get into it. just being kind of sober and seeing the stuff going on was a major turn off in general. only talked to two girls. one was going decently but her friend pulled her away, definitely needed my wingman tonight but he had work to do.

    it all just feels so pointless, now I get to sleep for 3 hours then work for 12. Not even mad about work, but I just feel really fed up with everything. Mind is starting to drift to dark places again
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  4. #1324
    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheWeeknd4Ever View Post
    went out but just felt sober as hell....

    couldn't really get into it. just being kind of sober and seeing the stuff going on was a major turn off in general. only talked to two girls. one was going decently but her friend pulled her away, definitely needed my wingman tonight but he had work to do.

    it all just feels so pointless, now I get to sleep for 3 hours then work for 12. Not even mad about work, but I just feel really fed up with everything. Mind is starting to drift to dark places again
    I for one am super proud of you and think you did great. Most people can't do what you did and go to a bar and talk to girls alone. Says a lot about your alphaness, and that's important to realize and not disregard. You're doing much better than your mind is letting you realize, chin up brah and just drink a lot of coffee tomorrow and get through the work day
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  5. #1325
    Not Aesthetic or Happy TheWeeknd4Ever's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by salamisalem View Post
    I for one am super proud of you and think you did great. Most people can't do what you did and go to a bar and talk to girls alone. Says a lot about your alphaness, and that's important to realize and not disregard. You're doing much better than your mind is letting you realize, chin up brah and just drink a lot of coffee tomorrow and get through the work day
    Appreciate the kind words man. Wish I could take them more to heart. I feel so empty right now. Theres a huge void in my heart, my soul, and I don’t know how to fix it. The emptyness is so heavy man, damn
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  6. #1326
    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheWeeknd4Ever View Post
    Appreciate the kind words man. Wish I could take them more to heart. I feel so empty right now. Theres a huge void in my heart, my soul, and I don’t know how to fix it. The emptyness is so heavy man, damn
    I feel that buddy. Me too. But the good moments, like I said, make me think it's worth it to keep going to the next one. Maybe we're just lonely people, idk. I dunno if you saw my thread of that girl with the bf that I rejected but some part of me regrets it even though I'm glad I did it, because she really enjoyed my company and we did crazy **** together like planning tattoos we want and stuff. How do you feel when you're chilling with your bros or at a social event?
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  7. #1327
    Not Aesthetic or Happy TheWeeknd4Ever's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by salamisalem View Post
    I feel that buddy. Me too. But the good moments, like I said, make me think it's worth it to keep going to the next one. Maybe we're just lonely people, idk. I dunno if you saw my thread of that girl with the bf that I rejected but some part of me regrets it even though I'm glad I did it, because she really enjoyed my company and we did crazy **** together like planning tattoos we want and stuff. How do you feel when you're chilling with your bros or at a social event?
    When I’m out i’m incredibly social. Even when I don’t feel up for it, I fake it. But sometimes I just feel so anti social and want to shut myself off from the entire world. It’s a side of myself I never show or talk about to people, but it feels like it’s more the true me than my social side. Especially times like this
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  8. #1328
    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheWeeknd4Ever View Post
    When I’m out i’m incredibly social. Even when I don’t feel up for it, I fake it. But sometimes I just feel so anti social and want to shut myself off from the entire world. It’s a side of myself I never show or talk about to people, but it feels like it’s more the true me than my social side. Especially times like this
    Hah we are basically the same person. Yeah. Idk guess I'm as lost as you are. But hey at least we're aesthetic, talk to chicks, work, and know how to have fun. So phuk it. Personally I'm experimenting with self medicating to see if I can mitigate the lows
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  9. #1329
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fang2 View Post
    Idk how it is in Canada, but in the US, they are tough if you procrastinate. Listen to your instructor, record the lectures, study every night until you get the material, and be ready for the exams because some are very tricky. Or you can just take online classes here as well and work at your own pace.
    i'm absolutely fine with studying for exams. but i hate doing homework and projects and presentations all that bull****. i tried doing math classes online (for adult upgrading/higschool) and there were ****in presentations through skype. ridiculous.
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  10. #1330
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    I pace around work on my breaks cuz I'm so tired of sitting here doing boring sad work by myself. Literally lost my mind. I don't know how these drones can walk around and tslk about each other all day and stare at computer screens all day
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  11. #1331
    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    I pace around work on my breaks cuz I'm so tired of sitting here doing boring sad work by myself. Literally lost my mind. I don't know how these drones can walk around and tslk about each other all day and stare at computer screens all day
    One thing that helped me when I had a desk job was taking long lunch breaks. Would give me time to meet other people, by just asking coworkers to come with me to a nearby restaurant even if we'd only talked like once before. A surprising number said yes and I was surprised at how cool they were
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  12. #1332
    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    I miss her, even if she was a cheating hoe. And I hate myself for missing her. But she liked me. Craziness and all. And she was so wild. I hate her. Taking everything I have not to text her
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  13. #1333
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    i ****ed myself up lol. took a lot of sleeping drugs and now my anxiety is at an all time high. took zzzquil + melatonin and all these other herbs last night. i can barely understand whats going on right now. at least i know its the perfect ingredients to get me fuked up enough to commit suicide. just need helium

    it's like real life is a dream right now so ****ed up. senses so messed up that if i watch porn idk how loud it would actually be. its so bad lol i feel like leonardo in wolf of wall street where hes crawling on the ground. i think its mostly my anxiety kicking in but its like messed up all my senses.
    Last edited by 2RDEYE; Yesterday at 10:59 AM.
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  14. #1334
    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    i ****ed myself up lol. took a lot of sleeping drugs and now my anxiety is at an all time high. took zzzquil + melatonin and all these other herbs last night. i can barely understand whats going on right now. at least i know its the perfect ingredients to get me fuked up enough to commit suicide. just need helium

    it's like real life is a dream right now so ****ed up. senses so messed up that if i watch porn idk how loud it would actually be. its so bad lol i feel like leonardo in wolf of wall street where hes crawling on the ground. i think its mostly my anxiety kicking in but its like messed up all my senses.
    This too shall pass my bro. Really. It's ok don't be hard on yourself. Just take a nap and you'll be back to normal. Also don't kill your self ******* or it'll encourage the rest of us
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  15. #1335
    Cherchez la femme...Se si KRANE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheWeeknd4Ever View Post
    Appreciate the kind words man. Wish I could take them more to heart. I feel so empty right now. Theres a huge void in my heart, my soul, and I don’t know how to fix it. The emptyness is so heavy man, damn
    You need to recognize that you're defined by more than one thing. If one project doesn't bring you the satisfaction you feel you deserve, move on to the next. Don't just sit there unhappy. When it comes to relationships, there are millions of fish in the sea.
    Originally Posted by TheWeeknd4Ever View Post
    When I’m out i’m incredibly social. Even when I don’t feel up for it, I fake it. But sometimes I just feel so anti social and want to shut myself off from the entire world. It’s a side of myself I never show or talk about to people, but it feels like it’s more the true me than my social side. Especially times like this
    That's not that unusual. Everyone feels like that from time to time. The difference is, you can't dwell on it.
    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    i'm absolutely fine with studying for exams. but i hate doing homework and projects and presentations all that bull****. i tried doing math classes online (for adult upgrading/higschool) and there were ****in presentations through skype. ridiculous.
    Well there will always be homework, but you look for subject where its diminished. You can also stagger yours selection so that you mix the hard one with the easier one. That way you're not overwhelmed.

    There are also things like study groups too but you need to ask for help right in the beginning. As long as you put in the effort, there will be people out there that will help.
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  16. #1336
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    Originally Posted by salamisalem View Post
    I miss her, even if she was a cheating hoe. And I hate myself for missing her. But she liked me. Craziness and all. And she was so wild. I hate her. Taking everything I have not to text her
    I miss people who I shouldn't as well. That's normal. Just remember it's not necessarily them you miss it's a certain part of them but you always have to try and look at the overall picture. Easier said than done I know.
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  17. #1337
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    I feel like i need to be put on meds to cope but i don't want to go down that route. Been there a bunch of times. My anxiety and depression is just overwhelming. Been thinking of smoking again for a while, but i'm trying to get back into shape. I just don't know how to cope anymore and my anxiety and depression is cripping at times. I've been drinking too much coffee on this cut and don't sleep well. No matter what i get up at 330 am to hit the gym. I'm just tired and depressed.
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  18. #1338
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by salamisalem View Post
    One thing that helped me when I had a desk job was taking long lunch breaks. Would give me time to meet other people, by just asking coworkers to come with me to a nearby restaurant even if we'd only talked like once before. A surprising number said yes and I was surprised at how cool they were
    I don't even know if i can talk to people at work. I don't work with anyone my age and i am mentally exhausted from working alone every day. Just can't do this for 8 hours a day much longer.
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    Sweet Prince of Paupers salamisalem's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DefensiveEnd896 View Post
    I miss people who I shouldn't as well. That's normal. Just remember it's not necessarily them you miss it's a certain part of them but you always have to try and look at the overall picture. Easier said than done I know.
    Thanks my friend that helps. You're very right. I'll keep strong, repped.

    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    I don't even know if i can talk to people at work. I don't work with anyone my age and i am mentally exhausted from working alone every day. Just can't do this for 8 hours a day much longer.
    Come on man you gotta try. You shoot down every suggestion we give. Some of my best friends are in their 40's. Give people a chance. If you're really sick of your job get something that pays less but is more socially fulfilling, like working at a restaurant or bar or something. I've done that before too.
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    I don't even know if i can talk to people at work. I don't work with anyone my age and i am mentally exhausted from working alone every day. Just can't do this for 8 hours a day much longer.
    you're probably beyond help but here you go

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    Felt good to cry a couple f nights ago. Got myself into a situation that made me realize i ain’t **** and how lonely i am.

    I’m a retail manager and i can run around the store and socialize. After work tho, i have no one to hang out with or even talk to.

    I need to realize I’m only 20 and still have family i live with. But it’s hard to look towards a change for myself. I’m too anti to develop strong relationships. Im not even able to get myself to talk to my little sister, year younger than me
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    Makes no sense. You're not genetically lock into a fixed personalty. It something you develop over time and can change whenever you like. If you're unapproachable or anti-social then for better or for worse that is the choice you have made. When you're ready to change, that's the time others can help.
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