[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III

[frankfrank3630]

I'm starting to think my chit is chemical now. I really do feel tired and have lost interest in almost everything. Don't know how to fix this.

If it is chemical, that's a good starting point! I don't know much about the chemistry of depression - I guess that, wherever the body makes it, perhaps dopamines are turned off, or the receptors don't work properly, or something? Are the receptors one of those "use it or lose it" things? I wish I knew more about this.

If you actually see a psychiatrist, he/she (I really dislike "they" because it SOUNDS LIKE a plural, lol) could have an impetus to write drug scripts, because it's sort of well-known that some doctors/clinics get kickbacks for prescribing more and more meds. That's exactly what happened with the opiates epidemic...even with their death toll, etc. the clinics were getting kickbacks for prescribing more and more of them.

If you were (hey, there's that danged "sounds like a plural" again! English is weird.) to see a psychologist, I THINK the only difference between one and a psychiatrist is that the psychologist cannot prescribe medicine, is this correct?

NOBODY on this planet is immune from the possibility of experiencing depression, and I KNOW that the great majority of people I know have been depressed at one time or another, enough to get a clinical diagnosis, whether or not they actually DID try to determine such a diagnosis.

I was depressed, basically, all the way from earliest childhood to my late teens. Things like music, radio ("Hey, that's a friend on the air talking to me and all of us!" - radio USED to be that way, even the music stations!), TV, and probably Mad Magazine (YES, I'd say definitely), even crossword puzzles, helped keep me from going entirely off the rails. Now, because this was 1960 and 1961, there was no such thing as a diagnosis yet...but I'm close to 100% certain that I had moderate-functioning Asperger's. I still have remnants. I was in an institution for more than 54 weeks, at that time, which happened to be when I hit puberty, and my voice was different at the end than when I had initially gone in. That was just enough to give me a foundation to mentally build upon. Before then, I was just drifting, without an anchor or a "rock." Human interaction (WHICH I NOW THRIVE ON) was a skill that I had to develop almost entirely on my own, as my parents were only moderately successful in their efforts to "build a human being" (in my case). Some concepts, such as "boundaries," didn't come until very late in my life, I'd say only in the past 15 or 20 years, and I didn't even realize the concept had a name until only about **two years ago**.

I now feel, as I look back on earlier this year, that I went through seven to nine weeks of MILD depression, from middle-or-late March, to middle-or-late May. Social interaction in-person entirely dried up, though there have been some glimmers of it being regained since, and after Friday 13 March it was 76 days before I even as much as touched any other human being (even a simple elbow bump, handshake, or pat on the shoulder), contrasting with my traditional greeting (both as hello and goodbye) being a good hug. (NO HOMO) No different whether greeting a man or a woman. Always with best wishes included, in all respects - I consider it a real-life expression of ALOHA or SHALOM. Missing that, and a couple other things - like discovering after-the-fact that my roommate had stolen from me, and politics, a hole in the roof of the house I'm slowly moving out of, etc. - yes, pretty sure I was in a state of "situational depression" for a while. (The hole's been fixed by a handy-man who's good at that, thankfully.)

In 2023, how many people will look back at 2020 and say "Wow, what a WONDERFUL year that was!"?? I don't think it will be a common sentiment. It doesn't stop me from doing the things that I must do, thankfully.

Yes, anybody can be depressed...and even if it's as simple as knowing that "this treatment actually MIGHT WORK" instead of automatically thinking "Oh, this treatment is going to fail, like the others!" - you will certainly give yourself better odds.

[davik]

This is the zionist Jewish stuff isn't it?

The thing that sucks is there is nothing we can really do about it. Theres nowhere to hide anymore.

not even zionist, just mercantile or the 1%

[DizzySmalls]

whats a good cope with wanting to kill yourself everyday?
Honestly, been about 14 years now i just tell myself things will get better. News flash: they wont. I have nothing to live for anymore. I'm considering drastic options. I have decent savings now. I may even gamble all of my money on the stock market right now and just stay in bed all day.

It comes and goes. I had a few weeks here, almost a month, where the neurotic depressive loop of chit kind of disappeared for a bit. Seems to be making its way back again.

[MrDevereaux]

eod, you have a girl right? I'm not saying that's meant to be the answer to everything but was just curious. How long have you been with her? Do you love her and does she love you?

does she know about all the stuff going on with you? do you guys do a lot of stuff together? do you feel like you have things in common.

just interested hearing more about the relationship. From your posts your main 'issue' seems to be difficulty in making meaningful friendships but in the posts i have seen at least you don't talk all that much about your girl.

[BigTimePlayer]

What a horrible day. Just a rollercoaster of moods nonstop. I still don’t really feel well at the moment. A life filled with constant mood swings is horrible. I can’t accomplish anything if I never know how I’m going to feel. It’s held me back in life & made me lose some friends over the years. Now it’s impossible to meet anyone at this point.

[eod8989]

Its just constant mood swings when I am at work. Always bored. Idk how people are always in a good mood after 30

[FrankCostanza]

Surgery revealed that I didn’t have inguinal hernias. They butchered me and didn’t resolve my pain.
It’s getting hard to cope.

[PimpMasterC]

Its just constant mood swings when I am at work. Always bored. Idk how people are always in a good mood after 30

Why dont you work towards moving somewhere else? You are clearly not happy where you are.

Was just up a grand on blackjack with $200 of free play money and I ****ing blew all of it. After the fact it's unbelievable, like how didnt I just walk away. 4am and hours later and so deflated, what a goddamn retard I am holy chit.

I lost a few grand a month ago, it sucked, but I´m over it now.

[eod8989]

eod, you have a girl right? I'm not saying that's meant to be the answer to everything but was just curious. How long have you been with her? Do you love her and does she love you?

does she know about all the stuff going on with you? do you guys do a lot of stuff together? do you feel like you have things in common.

just interested hearing more about the relationship. From your posts your main 'issue' seems to be difficulty in making meaningful friendships but in the posts i have seen at least you don't talk all that much about your girl.

Yeah, i've been with her for almost 6.5 years

Idk if either of us truly love each other anymore. I really don't know. Love fades man.

She does know a lot of what is going on. We used to do a lot of stuff, but like i said that connection faded after about 2 years. The relationship has felt dead since early 2016 man. We barely have anything in common man.

[eod8989]

And I've never wanted to be social unless it was with a hot girl or i was smoking tobacco.

[FrankCostanza]

Thinking of going to my Hawaii house to calm down and destress. This morning I woke up so fuking depressed. I’m ready for a change of scenery before this pain makes me off myself.

[eod8989]

Legit all i hear people talk about is boring chit like movies and food. I really don't get this man. Half the people i see look depressed af too. Like what are you even supposed to do these days man. Nobody cares about anything. There are too many feminazis and authoritarians around to make life enjoyable anymore. How are people coping?

[eod8989]

I just have this floating drone feeling like everyone else has moved on without me and there is nothing to even talk about even if i wanted to. I try but there is just nothing.

[BigTimePlayer]

Man, why does everything seem to just work out for everyone else? I just don’t get it. I hear of others having these insanely good jobs & owning multiple houses & getting even better jobs. Like wtf man. Why do I have to live this awful life. I really want to give up soon. I have no future at all since my life sucks. I can barely even function.

[eod8989]

Man, why does everything seem to just work out for everyone else? I just don’t get it. I hear of others having these insanely good jobs & owning multiple houses & getting even better jobs. Like wtf man. Why do I have to live this awful life. I really want to give up soon. I have no future at all since my life sucks. I can barely even function.

What do you honestly think your problem is?

I have a lot. Honestly i feel like at this point nothing will ever get better. I legit feel like i have been left behind and i'm at that age where everyone else has moved on with their lives.

[BigTimePlayer]

What do you honestly think your problem is?

I have a lot. Honestly i feel like at this point nothing will ever get better. I legit feel like i have been left behind and i'm at that age where everyone else has moved on with their lives.

I don’t even know anymore. I think it’s a mix of brain chemical imbalance & my life in general making it worse. Everything just feels so boring & tiring. Nothing is exciting anymore. There’s nothing new to do & there’s no one to hang out with since everyone has their own lives already. I really don’t know what people find fun anymore.

[BigTimePlayer]

hard to function, man. Life just ticks time away with boredom as things never change and remain static despite degradation through time.

I don’t get how people find the most boring stuff exciting. What are people doing that they haven’t done a million times already? I feel the only way it’s possible to live a good exciting life is if you have a large social circle & have a lot of money.

[eod8989]

I don’t even know anymore. I think it’s a mix of brain chemical imbalance & my life in general making it worse. Everything just feels so boring & tiring. Nothing is exciting anymore. There’s nothing new to do & there’s no one to hang out with since everyone has their own lives already. I really don’t know what people find fun anymore.

Yeah idk i feel like i'm in autopilot mode all the time now days. And like i'm trapped in a simulation with boring people. I hear people talking but it's just meaningless noise to me. Nothing interesting ever comes up.

[mikebadg3]

sup dudes, new to the sticky. I've had anxiety for years and it just turned into full blown depression a week or two ago. I was seeing a girl for about a month and i got too invested and she crushed my ego and drained me like a psychic vampire. Starting to feel like I'll never find someone at this point. I've got a lot going for myself, about to move into a brand new home in the suburbs end of august, about a month into a new job. Just got out of the Army end of May. Starting school in the fall, my alcoholism returned and have been doing a lot of reckless chit. I know my life would be phucked if i got a dui but i just don't care

Last night i went towards faith and todays the first day im off the bottle. Feel like i only feel good when im drinking.

Been on prescription zoloft and it hasn't helped. Upped dose and still waiting. It comes and goes in waves and more often than not i try to let it pass but if i dwell on those feelings its like I'm digging a deeper hole, negative feedback loop if you will.

Still waiting on the VA to get me to see a psychiatrist and therapist like i did when i was enlisted. Thinking about offing myself comes and goes, just the slightest idea will pop up but it never goes anywhere past that.

Might talk to a doc about getting off zoloft and trying lexapro. Hear its good for depression

[alltrapbrah]

Man, why does everything seem to just work out for everyone else? I just don’t get it. I hear of others having these insanely good jobs & owning multiple houses & getting even better jobs. Like wtf man. Why do I have to live this awful life. I really want to give up soon. I have no future at all since my life sucks. I can barely even function.

That’s actually kinda how it works. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Accumulative advantage I think it’s called.

[eod8989]

I just don't get what people do. Unless you have a social circle with good friends already what is there to do?

If i go to my grandparents house they lecture me
If i go to work and try to talk to people it either gets heated or it's just small talk about netflix or food
Go to the gym and it's the same 5 people there that i see every time or people with ear buds in. Like what am i supposed to do walk up and talk to some dude?

This is such a joke

[BigTimePlayer]

That’s actually kinda how it works. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Accumulative advantage I think it’s called.

Yeah, pretty much man. Not everyone can live a good life since there wouldn’t be enough balance. There wouldn’t ever be enough for everyone if everyone can afford all the luxury things so the system makes it that only certain people can have those things. I just unfortunately fall into the category of people that aren’t meant to live a good life.

[BigTimePlayer]

I just don't get what people do. Unless you have a social circle with good friends already what is there to do?

If i go to my grandparents house they lecture me
If i go to work and try to talk to people it either gets heated or it's just small talk about netflix or food
Go to the gym and it's the same 5 people there that i see every time or people with ear buds in. Like what am i supposed to do walk up and talk to some dude?

This is such a joke

All those people already had social circles before social media became mainstream. We’re in the worst position since we didn’t have a social circle before social media took over & we didn’t grow up during the smartphone era in our teens where we could have stayed in better contact with people we grew up with. Now it’s impossible to meet anyone to hang out with that doesn’t already have their own circle of friends. At best we’ll be like the 10th wheel of their circle of friends where they already knew everyone else for years longer & are closer with.

[eod8989]

All those people already had social circles before social media became mainstream. We’re in the worst position since we didn’t have a social circle before social media took over & we didn’t grow up during the smartphone era in our teens where we could have stayed in better contact with people we grew up with. Now it’s impossible to meet anyone to hang out with that doesn’t already have their own circle of friends. At best we’ll be like the 10th wheel of their circle of friends where they already knew everyone else for years longer & are closer with.

This is true and it's mostly effecting men. Especially younger men that are our age. People already had connections and just keep building on them. Like if someone goes to the gym they already knew people from years ago or go with a friend and meet new people. At work they get hired on because they already know people.

The last person i met was in 2014 before social media and smart got too big but i haven't met anyone since early 2014

[BigTimePlayer]

What are you working on these days?

Nothing man. I’m on furlough from my job still. I have nowhere to go & nothing to do even more now than before the virus. When things get better I still see no future for myself. I’m going to be stuck living a boring mediocre life since I’m not good at anything & don’t have a social circle anymore.

[BigTimePlayer]

This is the difference between the people you envy, and yourself.

If you have nothing to do because of the virus, utilize the time to do some of the following:

-Find a direction in life.
-Self improvement of any sort.
-Set goals to move in the direction that you want to.

Take small steps first.

All the things I want in life just aren’t realistic enough to happen so what goals can I really even have? I don’t have the connections to get to where I’d want to be. Basically instead of a mediocre life I’d only just be striving for a typical average life. I think my issue is I always expected big things for myself & now as I’m older I realize none of it is realistic so it just leaves a disappointed & emptiness feeling. Also, dealing with health problems on top of it all. I’m surprised I’m even still alive at this point to be honest. A lot of others would have probably offed themselves in my position.

[DizzySmalls]

A lot of others would have probably offed themselves in my position.

Fuk those people, those people are lame. You on the other hand are still kicking through it all. You don't need anything other than what you have right now. Those big things, you don't need those player

[BigTimePlayer]

Fuk those people, those people are lame. You on the other hand are still kicking through it all. You don't need anything other than what you have right now. Those big things, you don't need those player

Barely man. So many days I just want to give up since I don’t see a good future for myself. I’d probably rather be dead than to have to live another 50-60 years of a mediocre life.

[DizzySmalls]

Barely man. So many days I just want to give up since I don’t see a good future for myself. I’d probably rather be dead than to have to live another 50-60 years of a mediocre life.

Life is fukking crazy bro, stop looking for a measuring stick. It's all just a story that nobody gives a chit about ultimately. Whether you are happy and experience good things or you get chit on, truthfully nobody cares. It's a giant dance of nothingness and expression. One is always none, take the weight off.

[eod8989]

The thing is nothing is happening. Before 2015 or so things would just happen naturally like you would expect in your early 20's. It's like ever since smart phones and social media became the norm it became much much harder to meet people. End of story.