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  1. #7441
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Just went to the mall to buy a few shirts and once again I instantly got depressed just shopping. Like any time I try to do anything besides lift or browse the internet I just crash. Theres really nothing to do. All these places I'm going are desolate with social distancing rules. Its like I have no dopamine or something and the only way I can get it is by lifting or browsing the internet. Irl is so boring now days

    Even 5 years ago I was getting bored of going out and stuff. Maybe I am just meant to be bored and browse the internet my whole life.
    Being at home is way more fun for me than going out srs. BRB games, youtube, music etc.
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  2. #7442
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Just went to the mall to buy a few shirts and once again I instantly got depressed just shopping. Like any time I try to do anything besides lift or browse the internet I just crash. Theres really nothing to do. All these places I'm going are desolate with social distancing rules. Its like I have no dopamine or something and the only way I can get it is by lifting or browsing the internet. Irl is so boring now days

    Even 5 years ago I was getting bored of going out and stuff. Maybe I am just meant to be bored and browse the internet my whole life.
    It’s because it’s boring to do things alone. When you’re with someone at least you can talk to them to get your mind off of **** more but when alone you’re just in your own thoughts since there’s no one to talk to. I really just get a been there done that feeling with everything nowadays too. Nothing feels new anymore. And all the things I like to do or watch just aren’t of the same quality anymore like they were years ago.

    And yeah at night is the only time I feel more normal. Throughout the day I just go through a range of moods. I just think it’s a brain chemistry issue. I don’t know what else it could be when I had blood work done to check for pretty much everything awhile back & it all came back normal.
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  3. #7443
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ManletofSteel1 View Post
    Being at home is way more fun for me than going out srs. BRB games, youtube, music etc.
    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    It’s because it’s boring to do things alone. When you’re with someone at least you can talk to them to get your mind off of **** more but when alone you’re just in your own thoughts since there’s no one to talk to. I really just get a been there done that feeling with everything nowadays too. Nothing feels new anymore. And all the things I like to do or watch just aren’t of the same quality anymore like they were years ago.

    And yeah at night is the only time I feel more normal. Throughout the day I just go through a range of moods. I just think it’s a brain chemistry issue. I don’t know what else it could be when I had blood work done to check for pretty much everything awhile back & it all came back normal.
    Thats exactly how I feel. I have to either browse the internet, exercise or fap or something to feel normal. What normal people find interesting doesn't interest me at all. And yeah stuff like wrestling and video games just aren't thr same.
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  4. #7444
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    Of course like I figured my body isn’t feeling right yet again. Feel anxious & have to try to force the depression & anxiety out of my mind. This is so ****ing lame that I can’t feel how I want to. It makes me not even want to do something as simply watching a movie or playing a videogame since I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.
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  5. #7445
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Of course like I figured my body isn’t feeling right yet again. Feel anxious & have to try to force the depression & anxiety out of my mind. This is so ****ing lame that I can’t feel how I want to. It makes me not even want to do something as simply watching a movie or playing a videogame since I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.
    Same thing is happening to me right now. It always happens around mid day and then gets better later at night. I just had mad depression and anxiety at the mall and came back home.
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  6. #7446
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Same thing is happening to me right now. It always happens around mid day and then gets better later at night. I just had mad depression and anxiety at the mall and came back home.
    I even had a brain MRI done like 4 years ago to see what was wrong & that came back normal too. So it’s like wtf do I do. I feel trapped being like this. It’s like am I supposed to just keep going through the days feeling this way. This **** sucks not being able to feel normal.
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  7. #7447
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    I even had a brain MRI done like 4 years ago to see what was wrong & that came back normal too. So it’s like wtf do I do. I feel trapped being like this. It’s like am I supposed to just keep going through the days feeling this way. This **** sucks not being able to feel normal.
    Idk man loneliness messes people up. I legit don't know how to meet anyone or do anything anymore. Even going to the mall or something feels weird now because of this social distancing stuff. It's too hard to meet people these days and it's ****ing me up mentally.

    Are you around a toxic environment at home or work anywhere? I work with a bunch of weird people like legit strange people and I think it has messed me up.
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  8. #7448
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Idk man loneliness messes people up. I legit don't know how to meet anyone or do anything anymore. Even going to the mall or something feels weird now because of this social distancing stuff. It's too hard to meet people these days and it's ****ing me up mentally.

    Are you around a toxic environment at home or work anywhere? I work with a bunch of weird people like legit strange people and I think it has messed me up.
    At my job I talk to some people there but no one I can hang out with out of work. They’ll always just be acquaintances at best. Also my home environment kinda sucks right now since my brother & his gf still live here yet but are moving soon. That has nothing to do with why I feel like **** since I felt like **** before they were even here. I just think my brain in general isn’t functioning right. Some sort of brain chemical imbalance.
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  9. #7449
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    At my job I talk to some people there but no one I can hang out with out of work. They’ll always just be acquaintances at best. Also my home environment kinda sucks right now since my brother & his gf still live here yet but are moving soon. That has nothing to do with why I feel like **** since I felt like **** before they were even here. I just think my brain in general isn’t functioning right. Some sort of brain chemical imbalance.
    Idk man i don't get how i can be fine for a while and then just crash and feel overwhelmed instantly. It's not like manic either i just feel normal for a while and then get super depressed. I just want to feel normal.

    I feel like mine is hormone related since it started around age 30
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  10. #7450
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    All I do is pass the time,day in day out.There is nothing to do,nothing to look forward to.All I look forward to is eating food,and then try to pass the time anyway I can until I go to bed,rinse and repeat.Life without girlfriend/friends is pretty meaningless,there is literally no purpose besides just passing time.
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  11. #7451
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    My blood work came back normal. I just think i'm frustrated with how things are in my life. And the way society is getting. I wake up fine and feel alright for a while and then i just get depressed and have mood swings about everything.

    There is legit nothing to do unless you have people you connect with and can share your hobbies with
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  12. #7452
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    My blood work came back normal. I just think i'm frustrated with how things are in my life. And the way society is getting. I wake up fine and feel alright for a while and then i just get depressed and have mood swings about everything.

    There is legit nothing to do unless you have people you connect with and can share your hobbies with
    At least 20 years ago we had great culture and we could cope with games, sports, music etc. Nowadays all these are rubbish and there is nothing to do if you dont have a social circle.
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  13. #7453
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    Originally Posted by ManletofSteel1 View Post
    At least 20 years ago we had great culture and we could cope with games, sports, music etc. Nowadays all these are rubbish and there is nothing to do if you dont have a social circle.
    Yeah there is no culture anymore. 90 and early 2000's culture was the goat. Everything was original and exciting at the time but now everything is just dead. I can't believe what happened. Even a few years ago i still liked watching wrestling. 5 years ago sports were still good enough to watch. Music was decent. Not everyone was listening to mumble rap. Now everything is just dead.
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  14. #7454
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Yeah there is no culture anymore. 90 and early 2000's culture was the goat. Everything was original and exciting at the time but now everything is just dead. I can't believe what happened. Even a few years ago i still liked watching wrestling. 5 years ago sports were still good enough to watch. Music was decent. Not everyone was listening to mumble rap. Now everything is just dead.
    Soccer has been crap since early 2000s. Now the only thing worth watching is the Champions league in spring which is like 10 matches a year lol.
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  15. #7455
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    Originally Posted by ManletofSteel1 View Post
    Soccer has been crap since early 2000s. Now the only thing worth watching is the Champions league in spring which is like 10 matches a year lol.
    Everything died in the early 2000's bro technically. Been downhill ever since. But now there is like nothing left lol. I don't think sports or wrestling are ever coming back. MLB and WWE especially are fuked.
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  16. #7456
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Everything died in the early 2000's bro technically. Been downhill ever since. But now there is like nothing left lol. I don't think sports or wrestling are ever coming back. MLB and WWE especially are fuked.
    Well humanity will get destroyed if it has no culture. Hitler talks about in Mein kampf.
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    Everyday feels like deja vu to me. I was able to watch a movie & play videogames last night but I wake up today & am feeling stressed out & can’t function right yet again. It’s just ridiculous that my body doesn’t want to function normally. So much time being wasted not being able to do anything.
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Everyday feels like deja vu to me. I was able to watch a movie & play videogames last night but I wake up today & am feeling stressed out & can’t function right yet again. It’s just ridiculous that my body doesn’t want to function normally. So much time being wasted not being able to do anything.
    Yeah i don't get it at all. I will be feeling fine and then get annoyed and just want to get on the internet and fap or take a nap or something.
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Everyday feels like deja vu to me. I was able to watch a movie & play videogames last night but I wake up today & am feeling stressed out & can’t function right yet again. It’s just ridiculous that my body doesn’t want to function normally. So much time being wasted not being able to do anything.
    I don't even have the attention span to play games or watch movies anymore man
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Yeah i don't get it at all. I will be feeling fine and then get annoyed and just want to get on the internet and fap or take a nap or something.
    Yeah, I’m just lying in bed again right now since I don’t feel like doing anything. It sucks being like this.

    Also, you seem to have good gaming PC specs. You don’t play anything anymore? I find myself a lot of the time starting games but not finishing them if they’re long games. There’s a lot of games I want to get to but I don’t feel like playing if I have no energy & won’t get any enjoyment out of it.
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Yeah, I’m just lying in bed again right now since I don’t feel like doing anything. It sucks being like this.

    Also, you seem to have good gaming PC specs. You don’t play anything anymore? I find myself a lot of the time starting games but not finishing them if they’re long games. There’s a lot of games I want to get to but I don’t feel like playing if I have no energy & won’t get any enjoyment out of it.
    Yeah my PC is good but i will start games up and don't finish them either. I like the way the games look now days but i don't find them fun at all anymore.
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Yeah my PC is good but i will start games up and don't finish them either. I like the way the games look now days but i don't find them fun at all anymore.
    True, I was considering buying a gaming laptop sometime soon to replace my old PC. Don’t really want to be confined to one space anymore with a regular PC but I sometimes have doubts about whether I should get something cheaper than a gaming laptop.

    Also, right now I feel okay but it never lasts. I’ll probably be okay for the rest of the night since for whatever reason my body & mind just work better at night but tomorrow when I wake up from sleep it’ll be the same **** like usual where I won’t want to do **** & feel depressed for a lot of the day.
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    True, I was considering buying a gaming laptop sometime soon to replace my old PC. Don’t really want to be confined to one space anymore with a regular PC but I sometimes have doubts about whether I should get something cheaper than a gaming laptop.

    Also, right now I feel okay but it never lasts. I’ll probably be okay for the rest of the night since for whatever reason my body & mind just work better at night but tomorrow when I wake up from sleep it’ll be the same **** like usual where I won’t want to do **** & feel depressed for a lot of the day.
    Does anything trigger your depression? For me it's just looking at certain social media or thinking about a certain thing (not going to list it on here) that bothers me and then i get depressed. Also sometimes at work i get annoyed because i don't like the people i work with very much. It's like i am always going to be like this unless i can eliminate these triggers. But i can't just find awesome people to work with, delete all of my social media or stop thinking of that certain thing. It sucks man.
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Yeah my PC is good but i will start games up and don't finish them either. I like the way the games look now days but i don't find them fun at all anymore.
    yeah same. they ****ing suck or too complicated
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Does anything trigger your depression? For me it's just looking at certain social media or thinking about a certain thing (not going to list it on here) that bothers me and then i get depressed. Also sometimes at work i get annoyed because i don't like the people i work with very much. It's like i am always going to be like this unless i can eliminate these triggers. But i can't just find awesome people to work with, delete all of my social media or stop thinking of that certain thing. It sucks man.
    Sometimes when I have deep thoughts about my life situation can trigger it but a lot of the time it just comes on randomly too. Sometimes right when I wake up I feel low in mood as well. I think it could be a mix of brain chemistry imbalance as well as life situation problems.
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Sometimes when I have deep thoughts about my life situation can trigger it but a lot of the time it just comes on randomly too. Sometimes right when I wake up I feel low in mood as well. I think it could be a mix of brain chemistry imbalance as well as life situation problems.
    It’s this, and this alone.

    Your mental state and ‘brain chemistry’ are symptoms.

    However, because your life is chit, if your diet, sleep and physical activity are also poor, then you’re just adding fuel to the fire. If you are relatively happy and enjoying life, you can get away with a less than stellar diet, sleep and exercise.
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    What can an introvert who just wants to play video games and be out in nature and stuff like that do? I feek cheated from life. It blows my mind how things just happen for most people but I'm stuck in this crap life.
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    What can an introvert who just wants to play video games and be out in nature and stuff like that do? I feek cheated from life. It blows my mind how things just happen for most people but I'm stuck in this crap life.
    A lot think you can just change your personality at the drop of a hat & to go out & be able to talk about boring **** to random people. Anytime before this virus happened all anyone would talk about is boring meaningless stuff. Nothing feels fun anymore with anything. It’s the natural extroverts that win out in life the most. It’s easy for them to bull**** with people & make friends easily since talking about anything is natural to them. I get bored from boring conversations about nothing though.
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    A lot think you can just change your personality at the drop of a hat & to go out & be able to talk about boring **** to random people. Anytime before this virus happened all anyone would talk about is boring meaningless stuff. Nothing feels fun anymore with anything. It’s the natural extroverts that win out in life the most. It’s easy for them to bull**** with people & make friends easily since talking about anything is natural to them. I get bored from boring conversations about nothing though.
    Thats the thing man is people can call fas boring all they want but I never hear anyone talking about anything interesting. Its been like this since at least 2016 if not 2014 for me. Its just very mundane stuff now days. Ive heard so many meaningless conversations about Netflix shows or food that it makes me not want to even try anymore. Before 2014 everyone seemed excited to talk about new things but I don't see that anymore. If you're just a regular introverted guy idk what you can do
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Thats the thing man is people can call fas boring all they want but I never hear anyone talking about anything interesting. Its been like this since at least 2016 if not 2014 for me. Its just very mundane stuff now days. Ive heard so many meaningless conversations about Netflix shows or food that it makes me not want to even try anymore. Before 2014 everyone seemed excited to talk about new things but I don't see that anymore. If you're just a regular introverted guy idk what you can do
    I guess it’s just human nature to think quiet people are boring. Yet what most people talk about is boring. They can literally start a conversation about what they had for lunch & than have a conversation about all the food they eat for a half hour. It’s like wtf. Also, certain topics just become heated. If you talk about sports or politics everyone thinks they’re right on those topics & if you have a different opinion it just becomes annoying since people can’t accept others having different opinions than them.
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