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  1. #6901
    Registered User brahskimoseph's Avatar
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    Welp ****ed up again. Managed to lose everything I saved from the last 3 months not gambling, on well, gambling. In two short days I lost everything I have, again.

    I dont even feel anything. Im just tired and extremely bored of life. Failed relationships with my family isnt helping.

    The one thing that sucks as a male, well chit anyone really who does the dumb chit I do, is the cavalry aint coming, there are no redosC I will never get that time and effort back, and even from this catastrophe I have still learnt nothing.

    Im only 24 but I feel old as phuck and incredibly left behind from my peers, which sucks because I was far ahead of the pack not even 6 months ago.
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  2. #6902
    Alpha Chad imbored21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by brahskimoseph View Post
    Welp ****ed up again. Managed to lose everything I saved from the last 3 months not gambling, on well, gambling. In two short days I lost everything I have, again.

    I dont even feel anything. Im just tired and extremely bored of life. Failed relationships with my family isnt helping.

    The one thing that sucks as a male, well chit anyone really who does the dumb chit I do, is the cavalry aint coming, there are no redosC I will never get that time and effort back, and even from this catastrophe I have still learnt nothing.

    Im only 24 but I feel old as phuck and incredibly left behind from my peers, which sucks because I was far ahead of the pack not even 6 months ago.
    pisses me off because my sister can waste her life away and then some rich guy comes in and saves her. Now she travels the world and goes to expensive restaurants. Her life took a 180 in 1 week just because she downloaded tinder. Waht the ****. How can I not be jealous???
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  3. #6903
    Alpha Chad imbored21's Avatar
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    my cousin's wedding is coming up but how can i be happy for her when she didn't have to put in any effort. I don't want to sound like a bitter incel but i hate women so much.
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  4. #6904
    I post too much. SuperChieftain's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by imbored21 View Post
    my cousin's wedding is coming up but how can i be happy for her when she didn't have to put in any effort. I don't want to sound like a bitter incel but i hate women so much.
    But that’s what you are. A bitter incel. I have never seen you post anything on this forum yet wasn’t whining or feeling sorry for yourself.
    Not an incel.
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  5. #6905
    Registered User PrepaidExpress's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by brahskimoseph View Post
    Welp ****ed up again. Managed to lose everything I saved from the last 3 months not gambling, on well, gambling. In two short days I lost everything I have, again.

    I dont even feel anything. Im just tired and extremely bored of life. Failed relationships with my family isnt helping.

    The one thing that sucks as a male, well chit anyone really who does the dumb chit I do, is the cavalry aint coming, there are no redosC I will never get that time and effort back, and even from this catastrophe I have still learnt nothing.

    Im only 24 but I feel old as phuck and incredibly left behind from my peers, which sucks because I was far ahead of the pack not even 6 months ago.

    **** man, i know that feeling,

    I lost a lot. everything recently too. Same age as you, and i'm slowly starting to realise. No one is going to help me. just me.
    Feel pretty numb adnd lonely.
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  6. #6906
    Registered User PrepaidExpress's Avatar
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    why can't i move on from my ex?


    why??????/


    everyday i still think of her. I miss her voice, her unique little giggle, her hyper active energy, her smile, her laugh, her small little body i could pick up and cuddle.

    **** me. why did i **** it up?

    months on i stil get sad. i really want to stalk her instagram buti know it will just mke it worse.

    **** me


    i go on dates, i bang hookers, i try new hobbies, i do everything YET STILLL MYMIND RETURNS TO HER AND THE **** UP I MADE. ****

    maybe i should jsut accept it? some people ur not meant to forgte?
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  7. #6907
    Registered User brahskimoseph's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PrepaidExpress View Post
    **** man, i know that feeling,

    I lost a lot. everything recently too. Same age as you, and i'm slowly starting to realise. No one is going to help me. just me.
    Feel pretty numb adnd lonely.
    Gambling? If you gamble bro stop. I honestly thought I was over this, but im not. Ive never been suicidal in my life but honestly the only way I can see myself getting out of this fuking cycle is a bullet in my head. Its a self induced drug addiction, and unlike heroin, you dont need to inject anything. Its literally created in your own head.

    Ive lost no joke 80,000 this year. My family thinks im loaded, my friends think im killing it asides for the few ive told.

    What really pisses me off, and its not his fault, is I have a buddy who has won nearly all his gambling by luck, and he told me just “try again next time man” . Ive come to this guy distraught as **** and hes my homie but I told him dont let me do this chit. I hate that im so weak willed, I hate that Ive worked 60+ hours a week with 0 days off for the last year, I hate that I struggled with a horrible coach and a broken body to pay myself through college which i hated, I hate that I feel Like I cant control my own fukin urges.

    I know that pain of really wishing you could kill yourself
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  8. #6908
    Going beyond my limits manletstrength's Avatar
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    My life is nothing but darkness. I have so much anger and hatred and rage in my heart. The darkness has consumed me and I have nothing left to give in this ****ed up life of mine. I'm completely alone I have no one. I think about killing myself everyday and just getting on with it. There is nothing here for me. Maybe when I die I'll have a much better chance in the next life. I just cant do this anymore. I tired and I just want to go.
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  9. #6909
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by manletstrength View Post
    My life is nothing but darkness. I have so much anger and hatred and rage in my heart. The darkness has consumed me and I have nothing left to give in this ****ed up life of mine. I'm completely alone I have no one. I think about killing myself everyday and just getting on with it. There is nothing here for me. Maybe when I die I'll have a much better chance in the next life. I just cant do this anymore. I tired and I just want to go.
    What happened to you bro. What's your main life complaint?
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  10. #6910
    Going beyond my limits manletstrength's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DizzySmalls View Post
    What happened to you bro. What's your main life complaint?
    I went through a lot of abuse when I was growing up. I went through a lot of trauma. I havent been able to get over it. Im seeing a therapist next week. Hopefully they can help me. If they cant help me then I'm done with everything.

    My mother used to love me. She was the only one on my side. She was the only person I had. Now, I have no one but myself. I'm alone in this dark world. The darkness in my heart is too much to bare now. I don't know wtf to do about this. Like I said, I'm tired of fighting this battle within me and I just am so tired of it. I feel like their is nothing here for me anymore.

    I just hope things will get better after seeing a therapist for a bit. It's the only chance I got of not killing myself.
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  11. #6911
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by manletstrength View Post
    I went through a lot of abuse when I was growing up. I went through a lot of trauma. I havent been able to get over it. Im seeing a therapist next week. Hopefully they can help me. If they cant help me then I'm done with everything.

    My mother used to love me. She was the only one on my side. She was the only person I had. Now, I have no one but myself. I'm alone in this dark world. The darkness in my heart is too much to bare now. I don't know wtf to do about this. Like I said, I'm tired of fighting this battle within me and I just am so tired of it. I feel like their is nothing here for me anymore.

    I just hope things will get better after seeing a therapist for a bit. It's the only chance I got of not killing myself.
    It's fuked up that people abuse children, when you are figuring everything out and developing your personality. Nobody deserves that kind of experience. You were deserving of love and someone took that chit away from you.

    I hope the help that you seek works. I understand the desperation of wanting to feel what you want to feel.
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  12. #6912
    Going beyond my limits manletstrength's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DizzySmalls View Post
    It's fuked up that people abuse children, when you are figuring everything out and developing your personality. Nobody deserves that kind of experience. You were deserving of love and someone took that chit away from you.

    I hope the help that you seek works. I understand the desperation of wanting to feel what you want to feel.
    The only feeling i feel lately is anger and sadness. I want to feel happiness and joy. I have an appointment next tuesday with my therapist. I hope things work out with me and this person for the better. I want to make a connection with this person and build a good relationship between us. I got to make this work. I want to start the healing process for the first time in 15 years that I've been struggling.

    I started my diet today and am going to take up meditation as well. I got to help myself by doing these things and go to therapy. I'm going to the gym tomorrow and building my physique and lose weight. That will make me a lot happier than I am now. I cant wait to smash the weights!

    I know I can do this. I just have to put in the time and effort to heal and do things that I enjoy and make me happy.
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  13. #6913
    Never accept defeat! backinthegymbro's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by manletstrength View Post
    The only feeling i feel lately is anger and sadness. I want to feel happiness and joy. I have an appointment next tuesday with my therapist. I hope things work out with me and this person for the better. I want to make a connection with this person and build a good relationship between us. I got to make this work. I want to start the healing process for the first time in 15 years that I've been struggling.

    I started my diet today and am going to take up meditation as well. I got to help myself by doing these things and go to therapy. I'm going to the gym tomorrow and building my physique and lose weight. That will make me a lot happier than I am now. I cant wait to smash the weights!

    I know I can do this. I just have to put in the time and effort to heal and do things that I enjoy and make me happy.
    Losing weight is 90% diet. Start counting calories on myfitnesspal and eat a deficit every day. Good luck brah.
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  14. #6914
    Registered User HoustonMiscer's Avatar
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    Been thinking about this a lot lately. Never been in a relationship in my life. Would really like to be in one but what woman would want to be in a relationship with me? I am an expert in pushing people away. I am not a very open person. I was very close to having my first gf last year but I fuked it up because of my stupid misplaced mistrust in people. Why am I like this? I am a very damaged person lol would any woman even want to be with me? The sad part is I am a very jolly and fun loving person irl in person but inside I am very sad and dead.
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  15. #6915
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HoustonMiscer View Post
    Been thinking about this a lot lately. Never been in a relationship in my life. Would really like to be in one but what woman would want to be in a relationship with me? I am an expert in pushing people away. I am not a very open person. I was very close to having my first gf last year but I fuked it up because of my stupid misplaced mistrust in people. Why am I like this? I am a very damaged person lol would any woman even want to be with me? The sad part is I am a very jolly and fun loving person irl in person but inside I am very sad and dead.
    Gotta get over this chit quickly to have any hope man. We are running out of time.

    I think I'm actually going to try out the therapy. I'm pretty skeptical based on brief experiences with services in college but you never know
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  16. #6916
    Registered User PrepaidExpress's Avatar
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    feel so lonely and sad.

    Go on intagram/facebook everyone has mates and ****. Why don't i have friends?

    i'm very scared guys i'm not kidding

    true story my grandfather (dad's dad) had borderline autisim. Extremely intelligent man, had his own busisness but very very quiet kept to himself hardly spoke.

    My dad is very similar . my dad literally has no friends. but it doesn't seem to bother him.

    i think my future will probably be the same. but it bothers me
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  17. #6917
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PrepaidExpress View Post
    feel so lonely and sad.

    Go on intagram/facebook everyone has mates and ****. Why don't i have friends?

    i'm very scared guys i'm not kidding

    true story my grandfather (dad's dad) had borderline autisim. Extremely intelligent man, had his own busisness but very very quiet kept to himself hardly spoke.

    My dad is very similar . my dad literally has no friends. but it doesn't seem to bother him.

    i think my future will probably be the same. but it bothers me
    Autism runs in my family as well. I doubt it is a coincidence.

    I am still exploring the extent to which social inhibition can actually be altered without drugs. I have improved so drastically since my early 20's in certain contexts (professional interaction mostly) that I still hold out some hope, but I'm not sure if avoidant features can be fully overcome.
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  18. #6918
    Registered User PrepaidExpress's Avatar
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    How do i stop feeling sorry and sad fo myself?


    - sad that i work a job tht's **** and i could of been working somewhere so much better if not for past msitakes
    - sad that i have no friends
    - sad that the only girl thta ever liekd me who was decent i ****ed up with
    - sad because no girls to talk to
    - sad because hair receding
    - sad because short and not that attractive despite looksmaxxing
    - sad because life is purposles
    - sad because no one to talk to
    - sad because addicted to internet, phone, gambling and hookers
    - sad because wasted all my money gambling
    - sad because can't reverse time
    - sad because can't even study or concentrate anymore mind is nuked
    - sad because just sit in my room al day and cry

    try not to cry challlenge.
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  19. #6919
    I post too much. SuperChieftain's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PrepaidExpress View Post
    How do i stop feeling sorry and sad fo myself?


    - sad that i work a job tht's **** and i could of been working somewhere so much better if not for past msitakes
    - sad that i have no friends
    - sad that the only girl thta ever liekd me who was decent i ****ed up with
    - sad because no girls to talk to
    - sad because hair receding
    - sad because short and not that attractive despite looksmaxxing
    - sad because life is purposles
    - sad because no one to talk to
    - sad because addicted to internet, phone, gambling and hookers
    - sad because wasted all my money gambling
    - sad because can't reverse time
    - sad because can't even study or concentrate anymore mind is nuked
    - sad because just sit in my room al day and cry

    try not to cry challlenge.
    You need help. That’s the bottom line. Stop complaining here, and talk to a professional for fuk sake. Are you an adult? Jesus.
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  20. #6920
    Fast Misc DizzySmalls's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PrepaidExpress View Post
    How do i stop feeling sorry and sad fo myself?


    - sad that i work a job tht's **** and i could of been working somewhere so much better if not for past msitakes
    - sad that i have no friends
    - sad that the only girl thta ever liekd me who was decent i ****ed up with
    - sad because no girls to talk to
    - sad because hair receding
    - sad because short and not that attractive despite looksmaxxing
    - sad because life is purposles
    - sad because no one to talk to
    - sad because addicted to internet, phone, gambling and hookers
    - sad because wasted all my money gambling
    - sad because can't reverse time
    - sad because can't even study or concentrate anymore mind is nuked
    - sad because just sit in my room al day and cry

    try not to cry challlenge.
    I'm sitting here in a state of bliss like I had been on fire and somebody just splashed me with water.

    Have you considered having some actual sympathy for yourself? Do you have any good qualities whatsoever? Are you sincere, honest, intelligent, a good listener, put your best foot forward, have compassion for the suffering of others?

    Is there nothing about yourself that is intrinsically good that doesn't require friends or a great job or a hot girl or interpersonal status and validation? All of these desires make you so thirsty, and all of the obstacles in the way and analyzing them constantly is like drinking wine in the middle of the desert. You don't have full control of your circumstances in that way, you can only really orient yourself to do the right things that you should be doing and hope for the best. Maybe you make yourself a person who is deserving of love and you still don't get it. I think that may be OK ultimately. You don't need anything bro, just give in and accept whatever outcomes are in store for you. You are unwittingly torturing yourself by engaging in your thought patterns. Give yourself a rest. Being human is difficult and you will lose everything eventually no matter what you do, as will everybody else including the guy who is ****ing your whore ex.
    "If you want to reach the peak, you ought to climb without giving it too much thought." -Friedrich Nietzsche

    "Between thought and expression lies a lifetime" -Lou Reed
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  21. #6921
    Alpha Chad imbored21's Avatar
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    i just stalked my oneitis's wow character and broke down crying. Last online 1 year. I sent her in game mail and she never saw it. Pretty sure it expired by now. And I don't ever see her log in again meaning I will never be in contact with her. I can't accept never seeing her again but it is reality.
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  22. #6922
    Registered User frankfrank3630's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by manletstrength View Post
    All women have to do is find a wealthy rich dude and hop into bed with them a few times and then they're set for life. Lmao @ women thinking they have it so hard. Fuking kunts.
    In some ways they do, and in some ways we do. A woman will usually have a different life experience than a dude, so their hardships are also different.

    Originally Posted by PrepaidExpress View Post
    I've seen a psychologist man but it doesn't really help tbh.
    And with psychologists, shrinks, etc., there can be a LOT of variation. As mentioned below your post somewhere, there are a number of different psychology schools-of-thought. Every counselor brings their own life histories and experiences with them, and it affects how they use the psychological tools they've learned or found. My roommate has seen a few over the years, and all are remarkably different from each other.
    "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking" - Ray Bolger (The Scarecrow), THE WIZARD OF OZ, 1939.

    Build, for a man, a fire - and he'll be warm for a little while. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    :-) (-:
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  23. #6923
    Banned MichelleLnne's Avatar
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    Since I am in isolation mode and afraid to reach out to people irl.. misc although probably a ****ty place to be right now, at least maybe I can post ITT and get real help and advice until I can get myself into therapy. I'm sure everyone is reading the main misc page and sees what is going on with me.. theres a lot of skepticism and accusations being tossed around that are completely false.. instead I really did find my boyfriend dead, I really am trying to process it the best way I know how.. and at times the pain is overwhelming.. Im not suicidal but Im scared for what everyday is going to feel like now... I'm so sad
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  24. #6924
    Alpha Chad imbored21's Avatar
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    1. miss my oneitis a lot and part of me thinks she didn't really care about me as much as i would have liked. it shouldnt even matter. she gave me the experience that i wanted. she gave me lifelong memories and taught me how to love. i should be thankful i got to experience those things with her. but for some reason i just can't move on.

    2. want to be happy for my sister but it's just not fair how easy she has it because she is a girl. she had my life. 28 year old no life loser. then she downloads tinder and some guy saves her in a week with 0 effort on her part. now she lives my dream life. i really want to be happy for her and would hate to see her sad but i can't get over the jealousy. it's just not fair.

    3. have to go on vacation with my parents next week and not looking forward to it. i have been completely closed off to them ever since my oneitis broke my heart and soul. i know all they want is to see me happy but i don't think i can give them that. i just can't fake it. i don't think i'll say a single word the whole trip. i feel terrible about it but im beyond hurt at this point from years of social isolation. theyre getting old and it would kill me if they die before getting to see me happy.


    hate this.
    Last edited by imbored21; 01-27-2020 at 08:20 PM.
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  25. #6925
    Registered User frankfrank3630's Avatar
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    ^ [Post #6024] Please cherish your experiences with her, and recognize that you learned some things of unfathomable importance from her. Learning how to love is a biggie. Learning how to love is also, by definition, a kind of double-edged sword with a marvelous side, and often also a side that can throw some pretty bad curve balls at you.

    What you're feeling in general is all very human, it's how we're put together.
    "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking" - Ray Bolger (The Scarecrow), THE WIZARD OF OZ, 1939.

    Build, for a man, a fire - and he'll be warm for a little while. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    :-) (-:
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  26. #6926
    Alpha Chad imbored21's Avatar
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    my sister keeps bragging about how pretty she is because she is dating a doctor. She's literally average. WTF how am I not supposed to hate women??? soo frustrating.
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  27. #6927
    Banned imissk0bee's Avatar
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    Wish I was dead srs.

    Theres no other way to escape this hell inside my head.

    Chester Bennington made a song about being stuck in the hell in his head, and he sadly took his own life. I feel this is the same path I am heading
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  28. #6928
    Registered User PrepaidExpress's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by imissk0bee View Post
    Wish I was dead srs.

    Theres no other way to escape this hell inside my head.

    Chester Bennington made a song about being stuck in the hell in his head, and he sadly took his own life. I feel this is the same path I am heading

    I know that feeling brother


    i'm legit mentally destroyed.


    I've never been like this in my life but i'm putting up the white flag. I'm just destroyed. NOTHING makes me happy anymore. I can't even think or concentrate or memorise things. I feel embarressed talking to people because my mind is so slow and laggy. I still feel sand and miss my ex gf eve nthough we broke up 8 months ago. I guess i miss her because when i was with her i as happy.

    I suck at my **** job. i feel sad everyday. i just blow my money because i'm sad. haven't saved in months. blew $2,000 last weekend.

    literally don'tsee a way out. spoken to a psychologist hasn't helped.

    been playing team sport it's helped a bit but not as much as i would of thought.

    I'm just mentally ruined.
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  29. #6929
    It's better than prison maori-rap's Avatar
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    Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and vent a little.

    I've been suffering a little from depression and anxiety this year. It all seemed to start (or restart) with the neighbour playing loud bass music through the wall, which tended to put me on edge as it could come ANYTIME. They have not really played it much recently and usually they don't play it (I have been here for 7.5 years).

    I developed a dislike of being in the house as I felt unsettled, and relished 3 days at my parents over Christmas. I live here alone and always have BTW. My dislike for being at home grew stronger. Then negative intrusive thoughts started (restarted) as well as OCD type behaviour. Recently I have been feeling almost constantly nervous and anxious, ESPECIALLY at this property. I use that term as this building has never really been a home, just a building I live in.

    Now I cannot just sit here alone. I tend to go out on Saturdays and Sundays for hours, even if there's no real purpose, and almost dread coming back. I am planning on moving, but it won't be anytime soon. Also very anxious about an upcoming stage play.

    Oh, and there is a dog outside which yaps CONSTANTLY day and night and keeps waking me up. My sleep is not good right now as I just lie there almost waiting for something bad to happen.

    Happy to answer ANY questions about my situ.
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  30. #6930
    Registered User alltrapbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maori-rap View Post
    Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and vent a little.

    I've been suffering a little from depression and anxiety this year. It all seemed to start (or restart) with the neighbour playing loud bass music through the wall, which tended to put me on edge as it could come ANYTIME. They have not really played it much recently and usually they don't play it (I have been here for 7.5 years).

    I developed a dislike of being in the house as I felt unsettled, and relished 3 days at my parents over Christmas. I live here alone and always have BTW. My dislike for being at home grew stronger. Then negative intrusive thoughts started (restarted) as well as OCD type behaviour. Recently I have been feeling almost constantly nervous and anxious, ESPECIALLY at this property. I use that term as this building has never really been a home, just a building I live in.

    Now I cannot just sit here alone. I tend to go out on Saturdays and Sundays for hours, even if there's no real purpose, and almost dread coming back. I am planning on moving, but it won't be anytime soon. Also very anxious about an upcoming stage play.

    Oh, and there is a dog outside which yaps CONSTANTLY day and night and keeps waking me up. My sleep is not good right now as I just lie there almost waiting for something bad to happen.

    Happy to answer ANY questions about my situ.
    Could you elaborate / be specific concerning the bolded, please.
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