[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III

[sandman2019]

Does life really peak for men in their 30's?

i mean i'm having a terrible time in my 20's right now. I cry about my ex, i don't like my career but stuck in it. It seems my only hope is just to stick out my career until i get decent salary save a lot and peak when i'm in my 30's?

or is this just a cope thing said on the misc.

**** life is legit ****ing ****.

[alltrapbrah]

Does life really peak for men in their 30's?

i mean i'm having a terrible time in my 20's right now. I cry about my ex, i don't like my career but stuck in it. It seems my only hope is just to stick out my career until i get decent salary save a lot and peak when i'm in my 30's?

or is this just a cope thing said on the misc.

**** life is legit ****ing ****.

My only advice to you would be to work towards a change in career NOW.

[eod8989]

There has to be something wrong with my hormones or something that is causing these extreme low moods. Nobody should be depressed constantly. Plus my face and body look different. I used to have a masculine figure and masculine face but now i just look sick at times. I wouldn't be surprised if it's all the soy and chemicals in the foods. Even looking back at my pics from like 5 years ago i just don't look the same, and that was about the time when i started feeling bad too.

[RemedySC]

Bruhs, think I might be in denial about being depressed.

My ex-wife cheated on me in May, and since then I've been pretty much the primary caregiver to our two kids, who are 12 and 9. Yeah we started young, and got married when I was 21. The kids live with me easily 80% of the time. She only really sees them when I'm working, and half the time they're in school anyways.

I've been trying to manage the kids, a personal life, work, and my house (which I want to sell). All this has been leaving me pretty drained, and I honestly wish I could give up at times.

On top of that, I met a girl in September, who I've been casually seeing. We've broken it off a couple times already, but keep on hooking up. I broke it off with her the first time, because I caught feelings, and she didn't. She wanted to remain friends and I said no, but we ended up hooking up again a couple weeks later.

I feel like I should let her go, cause she's a party girl and doesn't have her **** together, although she's only 25. Thing is, I've met her family and been hanging out with her a lot, to the point that it doesn't feel casual to me, but she's adamant that she doesn't want anything. I think I need to end it, because it's sort of messing with my head, but it ****ing sucks.

Honestly I know I need to focus on myself and the kids, but I'm at the point where I feel like I'm in over my head. I don't know how other single parents do it. Honestly have a newfound respect for all the single parents out there.

Girl in question that I'm getting hung up on:

Spoiler!

Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent a bit.

[SuperChieftain]

Bruhs, think I might be in denial about being depressed.

My ex-wife cheated on me in May, and since then I've been pretty much the primary caregiver to our two kids, who are 12 and 9. Yeah we started young, and got married when I was 21. The kids live with me easily 80% of the time. She only really sees them when I'm working, and half the time they're in school anyways.

I've been trying to manage the kids, a personal life, work, and my house (which I want to sell). All this has been leaving me pretty drained, and I honestly wish I could give up at times.

On top of that, I met a girl in September, who I've been casually seeing. We've broken it off a couple times already, but keep on hooking up. I broke it off with her the first time, because I caught feelings, and she didn't. She wanted to remain friends and I said no, but we ended up hooking up again a couple weeks later.

I feel like I should let her go, cause she's a party girl and doesn't have her **** together, although she's only 25. Thing is, I've met her family and been hanging out with her a lot, to the point that it doesn't feel casual to me, but she's adamant that she doesn't want anything. I think I need to end it, because it's sort of messing with my head, but it ****ing sucks.

Honestly I know I need to focus on myself and the kids, but I'm at the point where I feel like I'm in over my head. I don't know how other single parents do it. Honestly have a newfound respect for all the single parents out there.

Girl in question that I'm getting hung up on:

Spoiler!

Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent a bit.

That’s what this thread is for man. I’m sorry chit is weighing heavy on you. As for the girl, I’ve been in a similar situation.

[RemedySC]

That’s what this thread is for man. I’m sorry chit is weighing heavy on you. As for the girl, I’ve been in a similar situation.

Thanks bruh. I think this girl is my escape from all the stuff I have going on. Definitely haven't been out of my marriage long enough to handle another relationship, but damn this girls something else.

[eod8989]

Just had a meeting with my supervisor and she said I am too quiet lol. Proof that you cant be quiet these days. People think its weird.

[FAPhaggot]

What the fuk do you do when everything in your life is just L after L?

Cliffs:

BRB advisor reads me the riot act 2 Mondays ago: "You're not active enough of a researcher. How do you think you're going to graduate?"

BRB next meeting with the advisor is on Monday.
BRB final project for advisor's class is due on Monday.

BRB have good grades in advisor's class, need a 50% or higher on the final to pass.
BRB do the smart thing and sell out on research all week; like 10 hours a day for 6 days
BRB leave the project in the hands of 3 undergrads to carry-job me; they can at least put together a project worth an F, right?
BRB put in like 2 hours of effort into the project, let them do the rest.

BRB we give our final presentation; it's kind of ****, whatever.
BRB project grades come back today. 30%.

BRB What the absolute ****.
BRB I can't even trust you guys to SCORE A ****ING F? Is that too much to ****ing ask?
BRB if I fail this class, I go on scholastic probation AGAIN.

BRB final project report is due at midnight
BRB rewriting everything my retarded group ever wrote to try and salvage my grade.

And then for an extra kick in the junk, I lost my pirate SD drive with 250GB of stolen movies and chit somewhere on the carpet an hour ago. Goodbye $40. Goodbye weeks' worth of content to watch.


Like... they say life is supposed to have ups and downs. My life has just been down, down, down, down, down for the last 2 years. Fukking BRB go on scholastic probation in one department. BRB switch to an easier dept to graduate. BRB about to go on probation THERE because a bunch of stupid teammates fukked me over. What do you do when literally nothing goes your way for years on end?

I don't know if I'm technically depressed, more like just burnt out as fuk over getting beaten down over things beyond my control, but it's legit starting to feel like depression. It's just that feeling of total impotency where it feels like you can't change anything that happens to you.

[alltrapbrah]

What the fuk do you do when everything in your life is just L after L?

I would be more sympathetic were it not for the fact that your predicament is largely of your own doing, and I don’t mean that in a nasty way but rather in a matter of fact way.

Like... isn’t this what you signed up for?! You VOLUNTARILY chose to pursue the highest level of academia, and now you’re b!tching about how difficult it is?

Maybe you just need to vent, but what you’re doing is kinda like an army grunt deciding he wants to be delta force and then complaining how hard special forces training is. What’d you expect mutha fuker? A walk in the park?

Also, akin to special forces training - if you’re finding you can’t hack it, maybe it’s not for you?

[alltrapbrah]

Running with the special forces analogy, i’ve copied below an excerpt from the SFAS handbook:

2-2. Most common mistakes in the SFAS Course.

a. Going to the SFAS Course without receiving an SFAS recruiter briefing.
b. Forgetting your medical records. You will be dropped from the SFAS Course.
c. Failing the APFT at the SFAS Course.
d. Showing uncontrollable fear in the water during the 50-meter swim assessment.
e. Listening and/or participating in the dissemination of inaccurate information of what to expect during SFAS.
f. Concealing prohibited items during inprocessing. You will be dropped from the SFAS Course.
g. Showing inconsistency during rucksack marches and runs.
h. Giving up on the obstacle course.
i. Not being able to do at least six pull-ups from a dead hang. This may show a lack of upper body strength.
j. Giving up on yourself. Don’t quit, let the assessors assess you.
k. Negative thoughts. Don’t doubt yourself, believe in yourself, don’t evaluate yourself out of the SFAS Course.
l. Not taking proper care of your feet.
m. Falling asleep when you are not supposed to.
n. Losing your weapon.
o. Not giving 100 percent. The assessors are trained to identify soldiers that are not pulling their weight.
p. Whining and complaining; nobody likes it and it doesn’t help.
q. Arguing with the cadre. It will not be tolerated and you will be terminated.
r. Failure to follow instructions. Pay attention to detail.
s. Losing your temper. Maintaining your bearing is essential to success.
t. Not being flexible. Anything and everything may go wrong, deal with it.
u. Using shortcuts or cheating. Don’t compromise your integrity, you will be dropped from the SFAS Course for integrity violations.
v. Always the first one to sit or lay down on a break.
w. Always the last one to get up when the break is over.

The above advice carries over to many other contexts in RL, such as yours.

[abond008]

Just had a meeting with my supervisor and she said I am too quiet lol. Proof that you cant be quiet these days. People think its weird.

New to this thread but if what you mention is what come to my mind.

I also being shy or not very talkitive or wanting to befriend bosses, make me seem like a lazy worker or someone they dont want to be around. I will start reading more of the post in this thread.

[abond008]

There has to be something wrong with my hormones or something that is causing these extreme low moods. Nobody should be depressed constantly. Plus my face and body look different. I used to have a masculine figure and masculine face but now i just look sick at times. I wouldn't be surprised if it's all the soy and chemicals in the foods. Even looking back at my pics from like 5 years ago i just don't look the same, and that was about the time when i started feeling bad too.

What do you work as?
What would you like to do?
Where do you live in the US or anywhere?
What activities you actually really enjoy?
How is your relationship with your parents?
Why do you give a **** about your ex, am 13409234093284092374891792402% sure you will find more women that likes you more, respect you more, are prittier, and sexier than her...Not easy because of the history but it can be found.

[sandman2019]

guys i have a confession
i started drinking after work and was thinking of my ex, i started reading the messages she sent me when we broke up and felt real mad so i made a fake instagram account and started messaging her and then started abusing her, I think she knew it was me but i denied it and said i was someone else.

now i feel bad about it.


i'm such a loser llol

oh well

[sandman2019]

legit feel so depressed today


weird
felt good all week then last few days just feel terrible
tired, foggy, sad, miserable

[eod8989]

Life is just so brutal for quiet men. You can't do anything.

[eod8989]

I just feel like I'm too far gone mentally. I try to talk to people but there is just no connection. I only feel normal when I browse the internet

[manletstrength]

I feel like life is just a simulation and nothing here is real. Everyone that has come and gone throughout my life are not real and is just apart of this game I'm stuck in. Hopefully when my time comes to die I'll no longer have to live in a simulation and I'll wake up to what's truly real.

[BigTimePlayer]

Just got done going to a wedding. It’s so depressing going without having a date. It was my brother’s wedding so I was a groomsman so when I was just with them it was fine. But when the actual reception started than it was like I didn’t exist anymore. Everyone was just with their wives or girlfriends while I was alone. I hate that feeling with a passion. I felt like a dumbass just sitting at my table most of the time on my phone since I don’t really dance but if I had a date I would have. Everyone else was having a great time being able to relate to each other & enjoy themselves. I just felt mad awkward. I really need to make some drastic changes somehow. What I’m doing now is leaving me on a path to nowhere.

[eod8989]

Just got done going to a wedding. It’s so depressing going without having a date. It was my brother’s wedding so I was a groomsman so when I was just with them it was fine. But when the actual reception started than it was like I didn’t exist anymore. Everyone was just with their wives or girlfriends while I was alone. I hate that feeling with a passion. I felt like a dumbass just sitting at my table most of the time on my phone since I don’t really dance but if I had a date I would have. Everyone else was having a great time being able to relate to each other & enjoy themselves. I just felt mad awkward. I really need to make some drastic changes somehow. What I’m doing now is leaving me on a path to nowhere.

That's how all of my interactions are. I just have nothing to talk about while everyone else is jumping out of their shoes waiting to talk to each other.

[eod8989]

Another thing i don't like is when i go places people are so in a rush and rude. Like it's not even fun going places anymore. There is nowhere i can go that isn't super packed with aggressive/rude people unless i go at like 8pm or early in the morning.

[BigTimePlayer]

I feel I need to turn into an alcoholic just to be outgoing. The only times I’ve ever been really outgoing is when I drink a lot. Whenever I’m myself no one cares to be around me.

[eod8989]

Theres just too many people out at places. I can never be social or make friends when every place is full of people and groups socializing. Idk how people even enjoy going out to most places.

[eod8989]

I feel I need to turn into an alcoholic just to be outgoing. The only times I’ve ever been really outgoing is when I drink a lot. Whenever I’m myself no one cares to be around me.

Same here. I just dont talk much. Nobody cares about anything I say irl either.

[EvanR127]

You ever get to the point where you think that some of us are just born to fail? I suck at the game of life. 100% my fault though. I’m filled with laziness, fear, shyness, shallowness, ignorance, and narcissism.

Im jobless and girlfriend less.

I have no skills no career.

I had a super niche small business that I ended due to lost of passion and depression.

Been virtually unemployed for a year. Ended my longest relationship of 5 months which I put no effort in since I knew I wasn’t going to marry her.

Just moved states a couple weeks ago and signed a apartment.

I have no debt, $30k savings, and great credit.

I’m the definition of a lost soul.

Yet I still have hope that I will find love and a calling.

Luckily my body hates alcohol and weed otherwise I would be an addict.

[brahskimoseph]

You ever get to the point where you think that some of us are just born to fail? I suck at the game of life. 100% my fault though. I’m filled with laziness, fear, shyness, shallowness, ignorance, and narcissism.

Im jobless and girlfriend less.

I have no skills no career.

I had a super niche small business that I ended due to lost of passion and depression.

Been virtually unemployed for a year. Ended my longest relationship of 5 months which I put no effort in since I knew I wasn’t going to marry her.

Just moved states a couple weeks ago and signed a apartment.

I have no debt, $30k savings, and great credit.

I’m the definition of a lost soul.

Yet I still have hope that I will find love and a calling.

Luckily my body hates alcohol and weed otherwise I would be an addict.

Never think or thought I was born to fail, but realize that I have some very negative personality traits, that although in very few situations can be helpful, are overall horrendous to my life in all aspects.

Im lazy, im narcissistic, willfully ignorant, uncaring and arrogant.

Idk if anyone saw my last thread, which I deleted, in which I go over how I essentially gambled away 50k+ of my own hard earned money, everything I had, in mere months. Well today, its been about a month and a half since november 1st, my “clean” date (went to GA even), and by the end of the week Ill have 10k saved up.

Well today, My one negative ******* friend started giving me chit, other buddies not responding, and I installed my trading apps and I was inches away from throwing all my money away on options again.

Its hard knowing that everything I worked for for over a year was literally reduced to nothing. I had 50$ to my name on november 1st. I worked my ass off in college to have no debt, and for what? I have buddies who are ****ing millionaires and here I am working my ass off, no social life, no girlfriend, no aspirations, no motivation, all the drive just sucked out of me.

6 months ago, I was boxing after work, i was running 2 miles in the morning, going out on the weekend, banging sloots, making new friends, I was 215 lbs with a full fledged six pack, making on average 500 to 600$ a weekday, learning new skills in computer software, chit man I was going places.

And now Im back to square fukin one, and everyone thinks im still the fukking man, im still mr.bigshot doing all this chit. Im a fukking fraud.


Edit:And heres a weird one, Ive been using tinder as a artificial ego boost lately, and even tho I have 20+ chicks im talking to who I schedule dates on and chit, I never go through with it, like Im not deserving, and I feel like chit for leading them on. Literally havent gotten laid in ages. My heads a mess.

[EvanR127]

Never think or thought I was born to fail, but realize that I have some very negative personality traits, that although in very few situations can be helpful, are overall horrendous to my life in all aspects.

Im lazy, im narcissistic, willfully ignorant, uncaring and arrogant.

Idk if anyone saw my last thread, which I deleted, in which I go over how I essentially gambled away 50k+ of my own hard earned money, everything I had, in mere months. Well today, its been about a month and a half since november 1st, my “clean” date (went to GA even), and by the end of the week Ill have 10k saved up.

Well today, My one negative ******* friend started giving me chit, other buddies not responding, and I installed my trading apps and I was inches away from throwing all my money away on options again.

Its hard knowing that everything I worked for for over a year was literally reduced to nothing. I had 50$ to my name on november 1st. I worked my ass off in college to have no debt, and for what? I have buddies who are ****ing millionaires and here I am working my ass off, no social life, no girlfriend, no aspirations, no motivation, all the drive just sucked out of me.

6 months ago, I was boxing after work, i was running 2 miles in the morning, going out on the weekend, banging sloots, making new friends, I was 215 lbs with a full fledged six pack, making on average 500 to 600$ a weekday, learning new skills in computer software, chit man I was going places.

And now Im back to square fukin one, and everyone thinks im still the fukking man, im still mr.bigshot doing all this chit. Im a fukking fraud.


Edit:And heres a weird one, Ive been using tinder as a artificial ego boost lately, and even tho I have 20+ chicks im talking to who I schedule dates on and chit, I never go through with it, like Im not deserving, and I feel like chit for leading them on. Literally havent gotten laid in ages. My heads a mess.

Have you bought a house yet? Got to be cheap in GA.

I came from CA to CO. I should have bought a house here in CO when I had $60+

I legit went negative $2500-3k a month for a year.

My business was Cush. Could have profited a grand a day for 8 hours out of a mobile van. But it was boring, lonely and I was depressed.

I need to just man up and stay busy. The busier you are the less you have time to think yourself to death.

That’s my problem. I’m a thinker and not a doer.

I overthink and judge others. Always have, even when I was 5. I thought it was normal but it’s not.

[eod8989]

I feel like there is some kind of evil agenda behind the internet, porn, media etc

Ever since i've started drinking caffeine and became severely addicted to porn i've been extremely depressed and have felt like the life has been sucked out of me literally. And all i want to do is fap. It's the only time i feel anything.

[davik]

You ever get to the point where you think that some of us are just born to fail? I suck at the game of life. 100% my fault though. I’m filled with laziness, fear, shyness, shallowness, ignorance, and narcissism.

Im jobless and girlfriend less.

I have no skills no career.

I had a super niche small business that I ended due to lost of passion and depression.

Been virtually unemployed for a year. Ended my longest relationship of 5 months which I put no effort in since I knew I wasn’t going to marry her.

Just moved states a couple weeks ago and signed a apartment.

I have no debt, $30k savings, and great credit.

I’m the definition of a lost soul.

Yet I still have hope that I will find love and a calling.

Luckily my body hates alcohol and weed otherwise I would be an addict.

that business thing is awesome. just find another product and get back into it.

[davik]

making on average 500 to 600$ a weekday

so youre making $300-400k/year lol? just buy a house and get a decent retirement fund, then do whatever

[BigTimePlayer]

So I’m back to the all day everyday grind of work in a few hours again. For the next 11 days I only get 2 days off with one of them being Christmas. I hate the daily work grind with a passion & I wish there was a way around doing it. It’s soul destroying for me to have to keep going into a job nonstop that I don’t want to do. I wish there was a way I could beat the typical work system where I could pick & choose when I want to work to make a living. I’d honestly rather work a schedule where I have to go in almost everyday for like 6 months straight but than get 6 straight months off. I just hate this year round going into work nonstop schedule. I need an off season of sorts.