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  1. #121
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    "It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough."
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  2. #122
    #1 Pimp Korea InstantLoser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RauryL View Post
    "It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough."
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  3. #123
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    1) Google the term "Deflection", and note the context in which I used it in reference to Chris' post. He was "deflecting".
    2) You clearly haven't read my RH posts before. My general attitude towards relationships is that women are impossible to understand, approach, or deal with. It has always been so; It will always be so. Effort changes nothing . I'm an objectively unattractive fat fukc who can't approach or talk to women. It's not so much pessimism as it is realism. This is objective reality.
    Going by your logic, you also deflected when you compared me to DLB.

    Women are not "impossible" to understand, approach, or deal with lol. You simply choose to not put in any effort to improve your situation (from what you keep telling the Misc); you can improve your ability to understand/approach/deal with women (with people in general).
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  4. #124
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    Originally Posted by Aristotelian View Post
    Negged. Considering the effort that a number of people in this thread have given to your thread, to try to help you, a comment like this really detracts from the sincere and helpful tone of this conversation.
    Sorry, I am a jerk. I would not be in such situation if I was not.

    But I don't believe that someone old as me or the OP can just all the sudden find a girlfriend after all those years. I know I can't. Maybe OP has better luck and better social circle.
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  5. #125
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    Originally Posted by CheekyChris23 View Post
    Going by your logic, you also deflected when you compared me to DLB.

    Women are not "impossible" to understand, approach, or deal with lol. You simply choose to not put in any effort to improve your situation (from what you keep telling the Misc); you can improve your ability to understand/approach/deal with women (with people in general).
    -You clearly don't understand the word deflection as it was used.
    -You missed/intentionally ignored the part where I stated effort is meaningless, because it is.
    "That boulder is too large. I could lift a smaller one."

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  6. #126
    Registered User alltrapbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    A criminal record.
    I'd say there's better odds of you smashing a 5/10 in the next decade...

    *Soz brah, the above is ice cold but I was just itching to say it, lol. I actually like you a lot and wish you no ill will. PROVE ME WRONG! Peace*
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  7. #127
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    -You clearly don't understand the word deflection as it was used.
    -You missed/intentionally ignored the part where I stated effort is meaningless, because it is.
    By your logic, you used it incorrectly too. We both said stuff that could be considered sidetracking.

    That is just your opinion. Effort is not meaningless IMO.
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  8. #128
    #1 Pimp Korea InstantLoser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CheekyChris23 View Post
    By your logic, you used it incorrectly too. We both said stuff that could be considered sidetracking.

    That is just your opinion. Effort is not meaningless IMO.
    If your effort doesn't yield results, then it was meaningless.
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  9. #129
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    Having headache reading those above but those are really great read.

    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    1) Google the term "Deflection", and note the context in which I used it in reference to Chris' post. He was "deflecting".
    My bad. Misread that totally.

    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    2) You clearly haven't read my RH posts before. My general attitude towards relationships is that women are impossible to understand, approach, or deal with. It has always been so; It will always be so. Effort changes nothing . I'm an objectively unattractive fat fukc who can't approach or talk to women. It's not so much pessimism as it is realism. This is objective reality.
    No, haven't read your RH posts. Not really regularly checking this sub. But I know what you're saying about women, believe me. That's how NORMAL women are for ages. It became normal long time ago. I guess non-FA men just learned to tolerate some of those qualities you mentioned.

    But I dont really believe that your physical appearance is the end of it all. You have all the means to change those. And honestly, you're not even ugly bro (no homer). That's why when I first read your post on this thread, I was really surprised with your negative views. It really made me think that you are already giving up before you even start.
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  10. #130
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    If your effort doesn't yield results, then it was meaningless.
    Maybe that particular attempt wasn't successful, but you got some practice talking to/interacting with a woman. Possibly, the next time you attempt to talk to/interact with a woman, you might feel more confident/less nervous.

    IMO, one can always attempt to take something away/learn something from any situation, that could be useful in the future.
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  11. #131
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    Originally Posted by jinda628 View Post
    Having headache reading those above but those are really great read.


    My bad. Misread that totally.



    No, haven't read your RH posts. Not really regularly checking this sub. But I know what you're saying about women, believe me. That's how NORMAL women are for ages. It became normal long time ago. I guess non-FA men just learned to tolerate some of those qualities you mentioned.

    But I dont really believe that your physical appearance is the end of it all. You have all the means to change those. And honestly, you're not even ugly bro (no homer). That's why when I first read your post on this thread, I was really surprised with your negative views. It really made me think that you are already giving up before you even start.
    I'm 37. I haven't given up before I start.

    I've been trying to lose weight for years. That, I have pretty much given up on. I lost quite a bit of weight a few years ago, but then plateaud and couldn't lose any more. Gained pretty much all of it back, and now I can't lose a pound to save my life. Fukcing tired of it. I hate being fat more than ANYTHING but it's like beating a dead horse. Diet and exercise, and thyroid meds don't do ****. I still walk a few miles a day and I still don't lose anything. My cardio is actually pretty good, but I don't burn fat.

    As for women.. I will never be able to approach them. They're simply too intimidating. I can't handle rejection, and I can't get past the fear of it. I don't know how most guys don't find women intimidating.. I'm also caught between total bewilderment by women's insane behavior, and being red pilled by the concepts of things like MGTOW, where I know that I'd be putting myself at major risk of getting falsely accused of rape, or having all my **** taken from me if I ever did get married, since women are the major cause of divorce, etc. It's like I constantly want a relationship, but can't talk to women, and fear the likelihood of having my life ruined (such as it is) if I ever did get into an actual LTR.

    I'm in a constant state of cognitive dissonance.
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  12. #132
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    If your effort doesn't yield results, then it was meaningless.
    This is where you see it wrong bro. Effort is not useless at all regardless of the result. Failure should help you realize the mistakes you made and what you have to change to lessen the probability of failing again.

    Known you for sometime in G&T brah and you're one of the posters there that I enjoy discussing things with because you always have answer to anything. Maybe try being like that when it comes to dealing with women?

    Dont give up man. When you try something, dont focus yourself on just the end result. It's how you got to that result.

    Same goes for the OP.
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  13. #133
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    I'm 37. I haven't given up before I start.

    I've been trying to lose weight for years. That, I have pretty much given up on. I lost quite a bit of weight a few years ago, but then plateaud and couldn't lose any more. Gained pretty much all of it back, and now I can't lose a pound to save my life. Fukcing tired of it. I hate being fat more than ANYTHING but it's like beating a dead horse. Diet and exercise, and thyroid meds don't do ****. I still walk a few miles a day and I still don't lose anything. My cardio is actually pretty good, but I don't burn fat.

    As for women.. I will never be able to approach them. They're simply too intimidating. I can't handle rejection, and I can't get past the fear of it. I don't know how most guys don't find women intimidating.. I'm also caught between total bewilderment by women's insane behavior, and being red pilled by the concepts of things like MGTOW, where I know that I'd be putting myself at major risk of getting falsely accused of rape, or having all my **** taken from me if I ever did get married, since women are the major cause of divorce, etc. It's like I constantly want a relationship, but can't talk to women, and fear the likelihood of having my life ruined (such as it is) if I ever did get into an actual LTR.

    I'm in a constant state of cognitive dissonance.
    It sounds like you'd be a good candidate for a sexual surrogate. From what I understand, they don't explicitly have sex with clients, but it's more of a process where alongside a therapist and a surrogate, you work to overcome all of your paralyzing intimacy baggage.

    Or, maybe just go to a therapist in general if you haven't already. Your train of thinking needs some guidance.
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  14. #134
    Registered User davik's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    I'm 37. I haven't given up before I start.

    I've been trying to lose weight for years. That, I have pretty much given up on. I lost quite a bit of weight a few years ago, but then plateaud and couldn't lose any more. Gained pretty much all of it back, and now I can't lose a pound to save my life. Fukcing tired of it. I hate being fat more than ANYTHING but it's like beating a dead horse. Diet and exercise, and thyroid meds don't do ****. I still walk a few miles a day and I still don't lose anything. My cardio is actually pretty good, but I don't burn fat.
    losing weight is easy man. just reduce cals more. u can sit on your ass and lose weight.
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    Originally Posted by jinda628 View Post
    Known you for sometime in G&T brah and you're one of the posters there that I enjoy discussing things with because you always have answer to anything. Maybe try being like that when it comes to dealing with women?
    I know it isn't, but this sounds like a troll/joke post. If I knew **** about dealing with women, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I know a lot about technology because technology is objective. Once you know that SDRAM has 168 pins, that fact remains immutable. Women? There's no manual. No guide. They're changing all the time based on random feelings. It's quite literally impossible to know what's going on in their head.. THEY don't even know what they want most of the time. You can't memorize facts about something that doesn't remain static. Even the stuff that you supposedly can apply to most women (like how they say they want a nice guy, but none of them do, and really enjoy being treated like ****) isn't useful to me, because I can't become the guy that they want. I can only ever be myself, and being "myself" is largely why I don't date. Women want guys who take charge.. leader-types.. Alpha males. I'm not that guy, and I never will be. I don't want to lead, and I don't want to follow anyone else either. I have this idealized idea in my head of an equal partner who handles her own ****, while I handle mine, and we just hang out and smash periodically. I really don't think I'm relationship material in the traditional sense... but I want one!

    Outside of screwing with my PC, I have basically no hobbies, and I'm not interesting in taking on any others. Again, I'm 37. I've tried plenty of ****. By the time I get home from work every day, I don't feel like doing much besides vegging out in front of the PC (I don't watch TV anymore.. haven't much for years). I don't like most things, and I can't help that. I hate sports.. The only thing I do occasionally get out and do is go to the gun range for like an hour once every few months to play with my firearms.

    If women want the alpha male leader type who treats them like they're worthless, but takes them out to do "fun" things (fun being subjective, and usually means something I'm not personally interested in, but normal people are), and makes their lives exciting.. I'm not that guy. I can't be that guy. It's not a question of effort. I cannot become the man that women want. It sucks knowing you aren't capable of being a man in the traditional sense, especially when that's what you wish you were most. Ironically, I can't stand most of those guys.. lol... Sports jock douchebags and guys who treat other people like doormats.. But that's what women want, and that's not what I am.

    Originally Posted by davik View Post
    losing weight is easy man. just reduce cals more. u can sit on your ass and lose weight.
    Doesn't work. Not going to argue the point. I've spent decades trying this ****. It doesn't work.
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  16. #136
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    I know it isn't, but this sounds like a troll/joke post. If I knew **** about dealing with women, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I know a lot about technology because technology is objective. Once you know that SDRAM has 168 pins, that fact remains immutable. Women? There's no manual. No guide. They're changing all the time based on random feelings. It's quite literally impossible to know what's going on in their head.. THEY don't even know what they want most of the time. You can't memorize facts about something that doesn't remain static. Even the stuff that you supposedly can apply to most women (like how they say they want a nice guy, but none of them do, and really enjoy being treated like ****) isn't useful to me, because I can't become the guy that they want. I can only ever be myself, and being "myself" is largely why I don't date. Women want guys who take charge.. leader-types.. Alpha males. I'm not that guy, and I never will be. I don't want to lead, and I don't want to follow anyone else either. I have this idealized idea in my head of an equal partner who handles her own ****, while I handle mine, and we just hang out and smash periodically. I really don't think I'm relationship material in the traditional sense... but I want one!

    Outside of screwing with my PC, I have basically no hobbies, and I'm not interesting in taking on any others. Again, I'm 37. I've tried plenty of ****. By the time I get home from work every day, I don't feel like doing much besides vegging out in front of the PC (I don't watch TV anymore.. haven't much for years). I don't like most things, and I can't help that. I hate sports.. The only thing I do occasionally get out and do is go to the gun range for like an hour once every few months to play with my firearms.

    If women want the alpha male leader type who treats them like they're worthless, but takes them out to do "fun" things (fun being subjective, and usually means something I'm not personally interested in, but normal people are), and makes their lives exciting.. I'm not that guy. I can't be that guy. It's not a question of effort. I cannot become the man that women want. It sucks knowing you aren't capable of being a man in the traditional sense, especially when that's what you wish you were most. Ironically, I can't stand most of those guys.. lol... Sports jock douchebags and guys who treat other people like doormats.. But that's what women want, and that's not what I am.



    Doesn't work. Not going to argue the point. I've spent decades trying this ****. It doesn't work.
    Not all women want "sports jock douchebags," or "guys who treat other people like doormats."

    Quit generalizing.
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  17. #137
    Registered User DStentz1337's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post
    I know it isn't, but this sounds like a troll/joke post. If I knew **** about dealing with women, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I know a lot about technology because technology is objective. Once you know that SDRAM has 168 pins, that fact remains immutable. Women? There's no manual. No guide. They're changing all the time based on random feelings. It's quite literally impossible to know what's going on in their head.. THEY don't even know what they want most of the time. You can't memorize facts about something that doesn't remain static. Even the stuff that you supposedly can apply to most women (like how they say they want a nice guy, but none of them do, and really enjoy being treated like ****) isn't useful to me, because I can't become the guy that they want. I can only ever be myself, and being "myself" is largely why I don't date. Women want guys who take charge.. leader-types.. Alpha males. I'm not that guy, and I never will be. I don't want to lead, and I don't want to follow anyone else either. I have this idealized idea in my head of an equal partner who handles her own ****, while I handle mine, and we just hang out and smash periodically. I really don't think I'm relationship material in the traditional sense... but I want one!

    Outside of screwing with my PC, I have basically no hobbies, and I'm not interesting in taking on any others. Again, I'm 37. I've tried plenty of ****. By the time I get home from work every day, I don't feel like doing much besides vegging out in front of the PC (I don't watch TV anymore.. haven't much for years). I don't like most things, and I can't help that. I hate sports.. The only thing I do occasionally get out and do is go to the gun range for like an hour once every few months to play with my firearms.

    If women want the alpha male leader type who treats them like they're worthless, but takes them out to do "fun" things (fun being subjective, and usually means something I'm not personally interested in, but normal people are), and makes their lives exciting.. I'm not that guy. I can't be that guy. It's not a question of effort. I cannot become the man that women want. It sucks knowing you aren't capable of being a man in the traditional sense, especially when that's what you wish you were most. Ironically, I can't stand most of those guys.. lol... Sports jock douchebags and guys who treat other people like doormats.. But that's what women want, and that's not what I am.



    Doesn't work. Not going to argue the point. I've spent decades trying this ****. It doesn't work.
    Send an email to coach Corey Wayne brah. He'll knock some proper sense into you for real.
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  18. #138
    #1 Pimp Korea InstantLoser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DStentz1337 View Post
    Send an email to coach Corey Wayne brah. He'll knock some proper sense into you for real.
    I've watched like 20 of that guy's videos. I know what he thinks I should do, but I can't implement any of it because it'd require having a totally different personality.
    "That boulder is too large. I could lift a smaller one."

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  19. #139
    Registered User JFlakes's Avatar
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    Maybe you're just ugly my guy

    Happy belated birthday
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  20. #140
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    Originally Posted by devopsengineer View Post
    You want him dead this year?
    geeze, no I just hope he finally gets laid soon
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  21. #141
    Registered User Legend1617's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JFlakes View Post
    Maybe you're just ugly my guy

    Happy belated birthday

    I am probably one of the ugliest and most awkward brahs on here and get laid on the reg now.


    No fuking excuses :P
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  22. #142
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    Mirin' brah!

    I just quit life and haven't left my house in 2 full months at all. I just sit at home and watch movies all day.

    Few more years and I'll be at your stage. I did try in college and online, but all failures and I have no motivation anymore.
    strong 2.5/10 facial aesthetics
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  23. #143
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    Originally Posted by Legend1617 View Post
    I am probably one of the ugliest and most awkward brahs on here and get laid on the reg now.


    No fuking excuses :P
    You really aren't ugly at all IMO. You are a solid, average looking dude, IMO.
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  24. #144
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    Originally Posted by Legend1617 View Post
    I am probably one of the ugliest and most awkward brahs on here and get laid on the reg now.


    No fuking excuses :P
    You're average brah
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  25. #145
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    Originally Posted by InstantLoser View Post

    Doesn't work. Not going to argue the point. I've spent decades trying this ****. It doesn't work.
    No need to worry. The guy you've got hashtagged in your signature is going to put you out of your suffering soon when we're eviscerated into a nuclear dust, so all this fretting is trivial at this point.
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  26. #146
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    Hey man heaven or hell, better to be alone than to be a sinner.
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  27. #147
    E-Eng Fishoilman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RauryL View Post
    No need to worry. The guy you've got hashtagged in your signature is going to put you out of your suffering soon when we're eviscerated into a nuclear dust, so all this fretting is trivial at this point.
    You ever tried going to a night club alone brah? Judging by your AVI you look like you would pick up easy. I'm no PUA, can't dance and am awkward af at times, yet I still manage to pull.
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  28. #148
    How DARE You! sword_'s Avatar
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    I don't think you try.
    “If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience.”
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  29. #149
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    Originally Posted by Fishoilman View Post
    You ever tried going to a night club alone brah? Judging by your AVI you look like you would pick up easy. I'm no PUA, can't dance and am awkward af at times, yet I still manage to pull.
    Clubs aren't my place. I tried them during my college years, but I felt so out of place. I'm not one to grind on the dance floor. Stick me at a hipster or punk dance night any day of the week where having bad form is actually considered a good thing, though, and I'll do much better. My body definitely doesn't match that scene, though. It's like I can't win either way haha
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  30. #150
    E-Eng Fishoilman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RauryL View Post
    Clubs aren't my place. I tried them during my college years, but I felt so out of place. I'm not one to grind on the dance floor. Stick me at a hipster or punk dance night any day of the week where having bad form is actually considered a good thing, though, and I'll do much better. My body definitely doesn't match that scene, though. It's like I can't win either way haha
    Who gives a sht dude, just have 7-10 shots of liquor and it will be your place.
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