Official Misc INTJ Thread

[davik]

too be bad i cant really do much with this brainy goodness

[yahkeyy]

I got 100% introverted 0% extraverted lol. The other characteristics were more balanced though.

how is that even possible lol.

[eod8989]

how is that even possible lol.

I got 91% and probably could have got 100% if i answered a few questions differently. It's a combination of not liking small talk, only wanting to talk to attractive people and just being very introverted for me. Hard to meet people when you don't like socializing because you find it boring 99% of the time.

[zknarc]

Yeah it sucks i wish there was a pill to make people more social

There is are. You gotta made friends with Molly/Mandy (amongst others) 'nomsayin

Intj checking in.

Is it really that low population percentage? Why so many of us here? Lol

INTJs are vastly overrepresented on internet forums I think because we seek our own kind and escape from the typical social interactions that dominate the world.

[eod8989]

Anybody else just keep to themselves unless it's someone they are attracted to? I have no interest in talking to anyone else

[Silencespeaks]

Bump

Socialized the entire day today with friends from out of town. Feel completely mentally drained now but it was worth it as an investment in the friendship since it's a genuine longtime friend who has been there for me and whose company I do really enjoy.

Really don't think normal people can fathom the complete mental/emotional exhaustion I feel after a day of socializing. Seriously need to lie down by myself in a quiet room to recover from the day lol.

[eod8989]

Bump

Socialized the entire day today with friends from out of town. Feel completely mentally drained now but it was worth it as an investment in the friendship since it's a genuine longtime friend who has been there for me and whose company I do really enjoy.

Really don't think normal people can fathom the complete mental/emotional exhaustion I feel after a day of socializing. Seriously need to lie down by myself in a quiet room to recover from the day lol.

Used to feel like this talking to my GF's friends. I couldn't relate to any of them at all but still hung out with them for a while before i got too exhausted.

We don't fit in or socialize enough. If we had real connections and socialized more often we would actually want to be social. I know i like my alone time but when i knew people i actually connected with i loved being social.

It just sucks because i feel like it's a chore to talk to people anymore because there is no connection. It's just superficial crap. Most of the time i already know before hand that if i talk it won't go well, and i will say something just for the hell of it and i get the same crappy results. I'm to the point where i just don't talk to anyone anymore because i can't relate to anyone i meet

[eod8989]

Good video about how being alone for too long makes you independent and introverted. Also how it makes you feel unattached, which i think is the biggest problem with most of us.

[Diabolous]

Actually a cool little test thing, I got the architect

https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality

[TheSeriousOne92]

I’m ISTP

[blyatboy]

but introversion does not necessarily mean sociable... i feel like one's a personality trait and one's more of a skill set tbh, one that perhaps introverts don't get to develop that well or lag behind in their experiences and upbringing

infp here supposedly apparently

[Diabolous]

but introversion does not necessarily mean sociable... i feel like one's a personality trait and one's more of a skill set tbh, one that perhaps introverts don't get to develop that well or lag behind in their experiences and upbringing

infp here supposedly apparently

"Don't get to develop" is where you're wrong. I choose not to engage in the meaningless, mindless, feeble haggling that consists in the daily rat race. I am fully able, I'm not willing, and I won't be reasoned with, I cannot compromise.

The Sun does not laugh because it shines the brightest, nor does Pluto cry, tis the coldest? Yet the stars, don't they exist for you?

No, there is a higher order of things and of things which are not things, working perfectly, and beautifully. And though it may always be obscure to me, I will spend each and every last of my breaths searching for the truth, for the understanding of it all. I long for it. If you do not challenge my understanding, my growth, my truths, I have not a word for you, in such case I will know it before you speak it. Some of us say all we need to say without words.

Only the true will see this truth.

[_zman]

Bump

Socialized the entire day today with friends from out of town. Feel completely mentally drained now but it was worth it as an investment in the friendship since it's a genuine longtime friend who has been there for me and whose company I do really enjoy.

Really don't think normal people can fathom the complete mental/emotional exhaustion I feel after a day of socializing. Seriously need to lie down by myself in a quiet room to recover from the day lol.

The social situation caused you mental stress? Physical stress? Is that because the whole time during and after you're fearing what they think about you? What causes this stress?

[Silencespeaks]

The social situation caused you mental stress? Physical stress? Is that because the whole time during and after you're fearing what they think about you? What causes this stress?

I'm not really sure. Yes it's extremely draining and stressful. For example following someone else's schedule instead of doing my own thing, and having to really listen and give attention and try to remember what people say and give appropriate reactions in the moment.

Also having to project some sort of fixed cohesive consistent identity when talking to them and having to give opinions etc feels very fake and draining because I feel that my true identity is just silent awareness. In normal social interaction you're expected to have some sort of identity or personality which feels fake to me.

[_zman]

I'm not really sure. Yes it's extremely draining and stressful. For example following someone else's schedule instead of doing my own thing, and having to really listen and give attention and try to remember what people say and give appropriate reactions in the moment.

Also having to project some sort of fixed cohesive consistent identity when talking to them and having to give opinions etc feels very fake and draining because I feel that my true identity is just silent awareness. In normal social interaction you're expected to have some sort of identity or personality which feels fake to me.

Would you say social anxiety and introversion are related? If so there's plenty of ways to fix that. It's something I've been working on and have made a lot of progress. Just putting yourself out there and not caring what people think is a start. Then you can be yourself and I think some people might confuse it as arrogance, but most people admire it as confidence I'd say. Either way, I'm being me, which is most important.

Now the only social anxiety I have is hanging around people with kids that mis-behave. I also get social anxiety around people that have social anxiety because they have such a hard time just being themselves, opening up, or having the courage to talk about everything and anything. Watching people struggle with this is hard to watch because I'm not sure what to tell them to just open up....

Having terrible friends can make social anxiety and introversion worse because you have a learned negative connotation to people as a whole, but if people simply had better friends they could work on their social skills and feel more comfortable doing so as well. I don't think the general US population is very friendly either. It's definitely important to travel to other cutlures. Since having these realizations I've nearly eliminated every toxic person that is in my life and when they come back into it, it's a terrible feeling, like I can't believe I've let such bad attitudes linger around me.

[BlackScorpio91]

Yo.

[eod8989]

Would you say social anxiety and introversion are related? If so there's plenty of ways to fix that. It's something I've been working on and have made a lot of progress. Just putting yourself out there and not caring what people think is a start. Then you can be yourself and I think some people might confuse it as arrogance, but most people admire it as confidence I'd say. Either way, I'm being me, which is most important.

Now the only social anxiety I have is hanging around people with kids that mis-behave. I also get social anxiety around people that have social anxiety because they have such a hard time just being themselves, opening up, or having the courage to talk about everything and anything. Watching people struggle with this is hard to watch because I'm not sure what to tell them to just open up....

Having terrible friends can make social anxiety and introversion worse because you have a learned negative connotation to people as a whole, but if people simply had better friends they could work on their social skills and feel more comfortable doing so as well. I don't think the general US population is very friendly either. It's definitely important to travel to other cutlures. Since having these realizations I've nearly eliminated every toxic person that is in my life and when they come back into it, it's a terrible feeling, like I can't believe I've let such bad attitudes linger around me.

For me being introverted and awkward is not an anxiety problem. It's mostly due to not relating to people period. It's like going to a job interview, they are usually awkward because you are putting on an act and talking about things you don't want to. If i am even remotely interested in what the person is talking about i can talk just fine. I think what separates extraverts from introverts is their ability to adapt to any social situation, and they actually like talking about anything.

[Silencespeaks]

Would you say social anxiety and introversion are related? If so there's plenty of ways to fix that. It's something I've been working on and have made a lot of progress. Just putting yourself out there and not caring what people think is a start. Then you can be yourself and I think some people might confuse it as arrogance, but most people admire it as confidence I'd say. Either way, I'm being me, which is most important.

Now the only social anxiety I have is hanging around people with kids that mis-behave. I also get social anxiety around people that have social anxiety because they have such a hard time just being themselves, opening up, or having the courage to talk about everything and anything. Watching people struggle with this is hard to watch because I'm not sure what to tell them to just open up....

Having terrible friends can make social anxiety and introversion worse because you have a learned negative connotation to people as a whole, but if people simply had better friends they could work on their social skills and feel more comfortable doing so as well. I don't think the general US population is very friendly either. It's definitely important to travel to other cutlures. Since having these realizations I've nearly eliminated every toxic person that is in my life and when they come back into it, it's a terrible feeling, like I can't believe I've let such bad attitudes linger around me.

Yes I get anxiety because I don't want to be there and I have to be fake in order to act socially normal. Actually socialized again for the third day in a row and I'm completely drained.

If I act like myself I would just be silent and on my phone and closed off from most interaction, so being myself does not work in a social setting.

I have to hold a conversation, show interest, listen, give appropriate reactions, ask appropriate questions, try not to act awkward, appear like I'm enjoying being there etc. All things that I can do fine when I put in the effort. But it's not natural or enjoyable to me so it's extremely draining because it's an act.

[Fang2]

An introvert would not have social anxiety talking with people Silencespeaks. You may be something else. Do you always get nervous when you talk in group or just with meeting new people?

[Silencespeaks]

An introvert would not have social anxiety talking with people Silencespeaks. You may be something else. Do you always get nervous when you talk in group or just with meeting new people?

Also with people I already know well. Just don't feel like I can be completely myself unless I'm silent and alone. Almost all normal social interaction feels fake to me.

It's very rare that I feel complete presence and awareness with another person. I'd actually really be interested to see how I feel around someone who is completely present and aware in the moment. I think with someone who has reached that quality of being I would feel at ease.

[BrightThru2014]

Yep. I still get anxiety speaking to my parents / sister, it's draining.

[eod8989]

Yes I get anxiety because I don't want to be there and I have to be fake in order to act socially normal. Actually socialized again for the third day in a row and I'm completely drained.

If I act like myself I would just be silent and on my phone and closed off from most interaction, so being myself does not work in a social setting.

I have to hold a conversation, show interest, listen, give appropriate reactions, ask appropriate questions, try not to act awkward, appear like I'm enjoying being there etc. All things that I can do fine when I put in the effort. But it's not natural or enjoyable to me so it's extremely draining because it's an act.

This. It's impossible to socialise in the real world without being fake. When you are introverted and find your true identity you don't want to be in most social situations. I've given up until I find someone I truly connect with because I refuse to be fake anymore.

[BrosefMengele]

Hey Ni brethren, INFJ here!

[eod8989]

I just need to come to grips with the fact that i don't like most people, and probably never will. I only talk to people i'm attracted to.

[eod8989]

Anyone else so INTJ that they have basically become completely self dependent and don't feel the need to be around anyone? I think i'm red pilled on being social now that i'm older and i only want to talk to people i'm attracted to

[_zman]

Yes I get anxiety because I don't want to be there and I have to be fake in order to act socially normal. Actually socialized again for the third day in a row and I'm completely drained.

If I act like myself I would just be silent and on my phone and closed off from most interaction, so being myself does not work in a social setting.

I have to hold a conversation, show interest, listen, give appropriate reactions, ask appropriate questions, try not to act awkward, appear like I'm enjoying being there etc. All things that I can do fine when I put in the effort. But it's not natural or enjoyable to me so it's extremely draining because it's an act.

Are there any people you actually want to be around? Have you actually put in any effort to find people that you want to be around? If not, why is that?

[eod8989]

Socializing just drains the hell out of me. I notice when i am alone or just lifting i have much more energy. If i have to talk to people for any lengthy amount of time i feel weak and lethargic. Especially around people that never stop talking.

[Silencespeaks]

Are there any people you actually want to be around? Have you actually put in any effort to find people that you want to be around? If not, why is that?

Yes I want to be around my immediate family and guys I am attracted to. Also enjoy being around my two friends but just from time to time.

[psychosylocibin]

You can connect with someone on another level than intellectually though. I think relationshipwise ENFP is supposedly the best fit for INTJ, so basically just a fun outgoing person who draws the INTJ out of his/her head.

Strong INTJ here.

I agree with ENFP being one of the more natural fit for an INTJ, and I completely agree.

The thing that sucks as an INTJ guy is that most ENFPS are not into INTJ guys, whilie I know a lot of INTJ guys that tend to have great chemistry and attraction towards ENFPS.

what I notice is that it is a status thing. most ENFP women tend to be more popular, outgoing, fashionable, attractive. Most INTJ men are more introverted, withdrawn, less animated, and tend to not care as much about appearance, unless it serves a specific means to an end. Therefore, although ENFP women may have great chemistry with an INTJ guy, she won't date him.


Totally agree with the whole independence thing. I could literally spend weeks by myself and feel energized and not like I'm starving for attention.

One of my favorite activities is to go to a nice restaurant that has a bar and just chill at the bar and enjoy myself. its my relaxing time. I don't want to talk to anyone.

[Silencespeaks]

Strong INTJ here.

I agree with ENFP being one of the more natural fit for an INTJ, and I completely agree.

The thing that sucks as an INTJ guy is that most ENFPS are not into INTJ guys, whilie I know a lot of INTJ guys that tend to have great chemistry and attraction towards ENFPS.

what I notice is that it is a status thing. most ENFP women tend to be more popular, outgoing, fashionable, attractive. Most INTJ men are more introverted, withdrawn, less animated, and tend to not care as much about appearance, unless it serves a specific means to an end. Therefore, although ENFP women may have great chemistry with an INTJ guy, she won't date him.


Totally agree with the whole independence thing. I could literally spend weeks by myself and feel energized and not like I'm starving for attention.

One of my favorite activities is to go to a nice restaurant that has a bar and just chill at the bar and enjoy myself. its my relaxing time. I don't want to talk to anyone.

Yes agreed. And I don't think ENFP guys would generally be interested in INTJ girls either. Although my ex was very extraverted and he used to say I brought him peace, so maybe in that way.

And yes I also love going places alone. I go to restaurants alone almost daily, and to nice hotel bars alone when traveling. I love being there alone and not having to hold a conversation.