Telling it like it is

[Aristotelian]

You cannot compare a 40y old man that as been smoking most of is life, inactive, eating a bad diet, to a man that as been active all is life.

Seems that a lot of people are right there to put you down, and point the figure at aging, but at your age you won't do it... your too old, i heard this a lot in the past year.......

You do not have to make the comparison you mention here. I'm a 37 year old guy who led a largely sedentary life after stopping truly competitive sports in high school. I ran a few marathons almost a decade ago now, and I'm out of shape. I smoked, and yet I came to this board already having tried a program for a few months because I was and am sick of being a skinny-fat guy.

So some posters here were calling you out for your defeatist attitude. There are always going to be people in this world who say "You'll never do it" - some people I thought were friends consistently try to bring me down and say "yeah yeah you haven't smoked for two weeks but you'll fail eventually" - and I respond to them in a way that is not permissible on this forum.

Basically, the long and short of it is - as others have said - lift with proper form; rest well; eat well, and enjoy. The great thing about this forum is that there are a lot of people willing to give feedback on your journey, but you need to offer them something in return - show your commitment so they do not feel like they are wasting their time with you.

Good luck.

[EjnarKolinkar]

At 45 i can do a lot more and recup pretty fast too, so i guess i can say thank you to the peeps on here for waking me up and putting a backseat on my age.

Yep, it's pointless to limit oneself or training based on numbers. Sounds like you are working to adopt a better mentality, that's great. We all have limits, setbacks, and challenges. But age has little to do with developing the motivation to try and get a little better results in the log book month to month.

Progress comes from the mentality of the lifter, consistent efforts, and a sensible plan. I'm 44 ,and all I am concerned about is today. Did I put in proper effort in the gym? Am I eating and sleeping adequately to support my training? Is my programming in line with consistent progress?

[mtpockets]

There was this guy at my job 26 who was giving me advise on online dating, i had been out of the dating scene for close to 15 years, i was involved with 2 women during this time.

Online dating was simply not working for me, i got rejected, i got told nasty things that really discouraged me, i felt really ugly and more.

To top it all off this guy says to me well Yannick there is no other way to put this you don't look good, your not hot....and the women you message are all out of year league... funny because i always message 5 or 6 women girl next door type, and stayed away from the princess type.

About 2 weeks ago he came to me and complimented me on my physique and even ask for some advise.... he is tall and very skinny, i started laughing and said well i am too ugly to train that kind of said it all.

The things people say to put you down...... or they are uncomfortable when you are there because they know they will never be able to train and do what you do even if they are half your age........

Just to see the face of people who put me down change when i walk into the room and to ear a few compliment me on my recent progress is enough to put a huge smile on my face......

I still have work to do, but all of this as motivated me even more.

This post reminded me of bbsitum..


Good luck op

[grubman]

I think what make this thread odd is that it keeps alternating between weight training philosophy and what seem to be some serious personal issues. On a public forum, you have to expect people to respond to what you say...and in a place primarily reserved for topic talk, you are going to find a much less "sympathetic" ear when it comes to unrelated personal issues.

I'm no psychiatrists, but it's disturbing to listen to you bounce back between feeling sorry for yourself and being deeply hurt by other peoples opinions of you, and the arrogant attitude that everyone around you is stupid and jealous of you (and I'm not exactly sure what you are implying people are jealous of?).

It's great to talk about your personal issues, and seek comfort among other people...but it's also smart to choose your forum (literally). This is a great place to talk about lifting and related social issues...but not the most compassionate place to talk about personal problems not related to the gym.

Online dating was simply not working for me, i got rejected, i got told nasty things that really discouraged me, i felt really ugly and more.

To top it all off this guy says to me well Yannick there is no other way to put this you don't look good, your not hot....and the women you message are all out of year league... funny because i always message 5 or 6 women girl next door type, and stayed away from the princess type..

I met the love of my life online. Online dating is a great way to meet the right person IF you are honest, secure and comfortable with who you are, and know exactly what you are looking for in a partner. Problem is, many online daters are none of the above...but if two people are and happen to cross paths, it's a wonderful thing where you meet the perfect person who you would have never met in the "real" world.

But let me tell you something that I found out knowing what goes on on both sides (woman and man) of computer dating. As a guy, you send out messages and rarely get responses and wonder why? Fact is, girls on those sites (who have something to offer) get hundreds and hundreds of messages a day. They can pick and choose, and even the sweetest girl can't possibly respond to all the messages they receive.

Then, to top it off, guys get mad, thinking the girl is snubbing them and then start to send progressively hostile messages inquiring why they aren't answering their messages...which makes you look even more like a guy they don't want to meet in the first place.

Moral of the story: Work on yourself first. Be the person you want to be. Having a good body again will give you more confidence and make you feel better about yourself, and it might make you more physically appealing to woman...but it's only a bonus that goes along with a great personality. You want an awesome Ms. Right, well guess what, she wants an awesome Mr. Right, and you've got to be that guy for real BEFORE you meet her.

About 2 weeks ago he came to me and complimented me on my physique and even ask for some advise.... he is tall and very skinny, i started laughing and said well i am too ugly to train that kind of said it all.

The things people say to put you down...... or they are uncomfortable when you are there because they know they will never be able to train and do what you do even if they are half your age........

Just to see the face of people who put me down change when i walk into the room and to ear a few compliment me on my recent progress is enough to put a huge smile on my face......
.

You either need to...

A. Stop hanging out with people who are such jerks. There are plenty of nice people out there.

-or-

B. Stop feeling so insecure and sorry for yourself that you take every comment or sideways glance as being personally insulting and judgmental.


I think lifting and getting back into shape is a great first step. You have to start feeling good about yourself before you can be any good to the people around you. I think it's cool that you have a second chance. Take advantage of all the knowledge that is out there on the internet (while avoiding the BS). Most of the stuff guys our age learned the first time around was crap designed to sell magazines and supplements...now the truth is out there for all of us to gain from.

Good luck in lifting and life .

[Zocas]

Bro you sure your not PCT now?

[Zocas]

Was joking with ya bro because the erratic swings.
Like I said before. It is just time to get it done.

[katya422]

From left to right, in my 20's then in my 30's, then in my 40's and last in my 50's. I will do another most muscular when I hit 60 (God willing) which is in another 7 years.

OT: bodyhard I hope that your next 7 years will be as good to you as your 30s were. Muscle development is great, but that smile is awesome.

[bodyhard]

OT: bodyhard I hope that your next 7 years will be as good to you as your 30s were. Muscle development is great, but that smile is awesome.

Thank you love, on my 60th MM pose I will smile, hopefully you and I will still be here at bb.com and you can make me smile once again..

[Cass40]

Thanks man i kind of feel very stupid right now...... yeah man like the hold saying put up or shut up and my heavy work day today paying for it now chest is like OUCH

It's a defense mechanism (cope in misc. terms), don't worry about it we ALL do it.

[grubman]

i kind of feel very stupid right now

don't worry about it we ALL do it.

Yep.

If everyone stopped posting after they said something they were later embarrassed about, this forum would be a barren wasteland...and everyone gets dog piled on every now and then.

[yannickmessaoud]

Big thanks to everyone.....

[bodyhard]

It's a defense mechanism (cope in misc. terms), don't worry about it we ALL do it.

ALL? Nah I don't think so....

[Cass40]

ALL? Nah I don't think so....

Yeahh..I think so..