lol
and yeah, it is logistically the easiest place, for us at least. I wouldn't want to be responsible for cleaning jism out of my pussy though. sh*t drips out for hours lol. fkn groce.
ladies: do you have any embarrassing semen stories? like going out after banging and having cum drip out of your dress onto someone's shoes or something?
I've been driving my car like a pussy for the past few years, so on a bike I'd be even more alert. thinking back to how recklessly I drove when I was younger still makes me shudder at times. I'm a lucky goddam prick.
oh hzc - first scramble of the year today. 17 under to win by 1. first of many.
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05-06-2018, 04:24 PM #1561
- Join Date: Mar 2010
- Location: Suck a fart out of my ass after I eat some, Chile
- Posts: 14,269
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05-07-2018, 05:34 AM #1562
Thats a hell of a score. 4 man?
I shot a 1 over 37 on back 9 yesterday. Front 9 was horrid though.
Nearly had a hole in one on the par 4 10th. Short 325 yd slight dog leg left. Water both sides, but sets up perfectly for my draw. Waited for group ahead of me to clear and pulled out driver. Knew i hit a good one, but when i get up there its 10 ft, directly past the hole. Group of guys teeing off a hole ahead all came to say nice shot and it missed hole by under a ft. I missed the eagle putt.Ol' 71st street. The devil that birthed me.
606 G0D.
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05-09-2018, 03:50 AM #1563
- Join Date: Mar 2010
- Location: Suck a fart out of my ass after I eat some, Chile
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yeah 4 man. my brother and I play it every year with the same 2 older guys, who are basically there to putt. no rule that everyone had to use 2 drives, which helped us go lower than usual.
edit: should mention we each bought 4 mulligans, which we used successfully. honestly probably would have shot like 13 under without them. pretty sure 2nd place team at 16 under didn't use mulligans. they were stacked.
sick shot. always twice as much pressure over the ball when you've waited for a green to clear to try to hit it under regulation, especially on a par 4. I often hope that when we die, we are able to sit in a place where time doesn't exist and review our lives as if watching on a screen. I will spend a good portion of that (non)time watching golf highlights. right after my cumshot reel. sitting in a comfy leather chair next to God, jerking each other off to all the best sexual performances of my life. that will be a good time.
played a qualifier yesterday I really wanted to do well in. woke up, middle fingernail on my right hand was messed up. hangnail, ingrown nail, something. minor thing until I tried swinging a club. shanking balls on the range. unable to make a pain-free swing, pain would kick in at the top of my backswing. sucked. frustrating day, and very pissed off to have this BS issue pop up the night before the tournament I cared most about this year. fuk.
on the bright side, it has been a beautiful several days. I love the spring. everything is growing like crazy. and my zero carb, zero sugar diet seems to have changed my body to be immune (for the most part) to the pollen that usually rapes my face.
anyone got travel plans this year? other fun plans? you all getting plenty of sex & hugs?
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05-09-2018, 05:56 AM #1564
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05-09-2018, 06:01 AM #1565
- Join Date: Jun 2011
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 37
- Posts: 14,080
- Rep Power: 64952
Gf is going to visit her sister in July, but I told her I wasn't going because I'd see her twice before then. That's more than enough for me. lol
Best shot I've ever taken was driving the green on a par 4, only to 2 put because I ended up +30ft away and I suck at putting. I'm that golfer that always seems to come close, but I literally never sink them from that far. Never fails. lmao*US Navy Vet*
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05-09-2018, 11:49 AM #1566
- Join Date: Mar 2010
- Location: Suck a fart out of my ass after I eat some, Chile
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greatest is impossible to say. 2 memorable ones are my 2 holes-in-one, first was pure as fuk, 228 yd par 3, hit a big high draw 4-iron that landed short right (perfect) and took the slope down to the hole and went in. was with my brother and mentioned the hole-in-one possibility before hitting the shot. 2nd was in a tournament at bethpage red in NY, hit a thin 7-iron that was dead straight and never left the pin, trickled right in. both times I doubled the next hole
first great shot that came to mind, though, was when I was 15 or 16, the 18th hole at my old course is an uphill dogleg right par 5. hit a good drive up the right side of the fairway, could just see the top of the pin as I was getting ready to hit my 2nd shot. front right pin, terrain slopes hard right to left. into a strong wind that was going to the right. I was probably 215 or so out, hit a huge, pure cut that started left of the green, then caught the wind and moved toward the hole. landed just short right, softly, and trickled left with the slope of the green (just left of the pin is a big ridge downhill, basically making 2 greens in one), just barely missing the hole. had a gimme for eagle. that shot was so fukking perfect all things considered I'll never forget it, even though it deserved to actually be a deuce.
I'll take a 2-putt from 30 feet almost every time. it only seems like those are makable with regularity cuz we see the highlight reels of the few best players in the world making them. but making a 30+ footer is always a real fukking treat, and very rare.
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05-09-2018, 06:07 PM #1567
Eagled a par four once, playing in a twosome. Hit my drive about 75 yards from the green. Me and my partner were waiting in the fairway for the foursome in front of us. They all stepped off the green and waved at us to play through, so the other guy hit a wedge from 100 yds out and dropped it in the middle of the green. We walked up to my ball, and I hit a soft pitch to the front of the green that rolled up and dropped in the cup. Strolled up, nodded, and retrieved my ball like boss.
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05-10-2018, 07:40 AM #1568
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05-10-2018, 07:41 AM #1569
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05-10-2018, 07:48 AM #1570
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05-10-2018, 08:32 AM #1571
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05-10-2018, 09:11 AM #1572
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05-11-2018, 06:47 AM #1573
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05-11-2018, 08:26 AM #1574
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Colorado, United States
- Age: 42
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Thank you! 'Twas a good day <3
I know I've said it before, but it always makes my heart beat a little faster when you use my name...cuz it makes me know you care - just a little. lol
Thanks! Got it!! Faps for Dddaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!Rule your Mind or it will Rule You. ~Buddha
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**Damaged Goods Crew**
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05-11-2018, 08:39 AM #1575
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05-11-2018, 11:00 AM #1576
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05-16-2018, 03:12 AM #1577
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05-16-2018, 05:27 PM #1578
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05-16-2018, 05:54 PM #1579
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05-18-2018, 03:45 AM #1580
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05-18-2018, 03:48 AM #1581
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05-18-2018, 05:51 AM #1582
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05-18-2018, 08:28 AM #1583
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Colorado, United States
- Age: 42
- Posts: 13,407
- Rep Power: 118251
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05-21-2018, 08:00 AM #1584
- Join Date: Mar 2010
- Location: Suck a fart out of my ass after I eat some, Chile
- Posts: 14,269
- Rep Power: 0
Always brings me pleasure to see well trained/behaved dogs with their owners.
Same here for my pup. First time I took her out to a farm/dog park, off leash, she just followed me around. I fondly remember when big dogs would run up to play and I was worried cuz she was so tiny and fragile, I'd just reach down and pick her up with one hand under her belly and hold her to my chest. Easy to train, still required a moderate pimp hand at times, but she has a calm, obedient nature. Now she's just a dream, total sweetheart, super obedient. Just wish I could get the people in my life to listen half as well.
With your athleticism & ability already to break 80, under par is just a matter of practicing a bit and some big mental alterations. Pretty big time commitment, but I don't think it would take a ton of practice. Just enough to know your misses don't have the potential to completely fuk a round, and get your putting stroke so you can start the ball on your line almost every time, then beyond that it's all mental, how to think about shots.
Reminds me, here's some great golf advice, something I haven't taken seriously until this year: routine. It sounds simple and stupid, but if you have a specific, step-by-step routine that you follow to a T on every shot, it can make a world of difference. Right now I feel like the score will take care of itself if my only focus is following my routine. When I hit bad shots, I almost always strayed from my routine at some point leading up to it. Also takes a lot of pressure off because my focus is not hitting a good shot or making a putt, it's sticking exactly to my routine and letting the rest take care of itself, whatever happens. Takes a while to find a good routine that matches your game and personality though.
Was gonna go back to work but I feel like typing out my routine, which will also help cement it in my mind:
1. Deep breath, say "release" in my mind and feel all the tension in my mind and body disappear.
2. say "focus" and quickly just focus all my energy on the shot at hand. I feel my eyes widen and some energy accumulate in my forehead.
3. Stand behind the ball, choose my target, and visualize the shot. actually try to see the ball take off with the desired flight, land, and react on the ground. hitting into greens I'll often visualize making the shot.
4. easy practice swing for the shot I want to hit
5. look at the ball then target then ball, choose a spot on the ground a few feet between the ball and where I want the ball to start
6. approach the ball while looking at that spot. align the clubface perfectly at that spot, then look up at the target and make sure it's perfect. at this point I say "perfect alignment". I want the clubface to be pointing exactly where I want the ball to start (with minor differences if hitting a big cut or draw)
7. looking at the clubface, I'm now saying "perfect setup" and I set up perfectly to that club face angle, with my last though making sure I'm balanced and comfortable and feel correct about everything
8. one last look at the target, then back to the ball. now I make a conscious effort to forget about the target, forget about where I want the ball to go, to forget about everything, with the only thought being "perfect tempo" and I focus all my energy on just having a smooth tempo, smooth transition at the top, smooth through the ball. I have a sound and timing of the sound in my head, can't really write it out, but I just think of that sound and try to mimic it. this removes a ton of pressure when I have a tough or high-stakes shot, only focusing on tempo.
If I follow all that perfectly, I almost always look up to the ball on my intended line with the shape I want, then it all comes down to how well I judged the distance, conditions, etc. if at any point I feel uncomfortable or unfocused, I start back at "perfect alignment". to be honest, lots of my bad shots happen because I am uncomfortable but am impatient and proceed with the shot anyway hoping it'll turn out ok. almost never does. need more discipline. and it's really tough to stay focused on routine and make all the effort during a casual round with friends who are chatting, etc, which is most rounds.
chipping and putting routines are different
/novel
now I wanna play
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06-04-2018, 01:58 PM #1585
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06-05-2018, 03:51 AM #1586
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06-06-2018, 03:46 AM #1587
- Join Date: Mar 2010
- Location: Suck a fart out of my ass after I eat some, Chile
- Posts: 14,269
- Rep Power: 0
since removing sugar and carbs from my diet, I've had almost zero allergy symptoms this year. I'll get a runny nose and sneeze a few times while mowing the lawn, but other than that, nada. fkn awesome. also any knee, lower back pains I used to have are 100% gone.
what's new with everyone? thred dedder than usual.
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06-06-2018, 07:43 AM #1588
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06-06-2018, 08:14 AM #1589
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06-10-2018, 12:55 PM #1590
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