vadsie's journal v.2.0

[vadsie]

Woot! You're awesome, dude. I keep positive as much as possible, I see how others with this illness has it and I think they deserve $1000000, real talk. Have a good night 🙃

[anandagirl]

Hi ananda! I know I blame my illness a lot but it truly is tough to lose cause of it, but things are slowly moving, in the right direction ������

The only failure is quitting! You're doing awesome!

This sounds reasonable to me. If you go too low, you'll end up starving yourself and that'll affect you in other ways as well. Keep testing.

Agreed - hunger can backfire, slow and steady wins the race!

It's a legitimate excuse, V. Blame your illness all you want.

But your illness can't keep you down, you have the strength!

[vadsie]

Yea I'm in a weird place ATM, if I eat 2500 calories I get hungry, if I eat around 2700-3000 I feel like I won't lose anything and waste time, but I should eat around 3000 to see cuz if I ate 2500 I end up binging way over 3000. It's tough, I don't think I could maintain deficit for awhile at 2500. Will count today's calories and eat around 3000, I don't think I'll gain any.

[-Lucifer]

The only failure is quitting! You're doing awesome!

Agreed.

Yea I'm in a weird place ATM, if I eat 2500 calories I get hungry, if I eat around 2700-3000 I feel like I won't lose anything and waste time, but I should eat around 3000 to see cuz if I ate 2500 I end up binging way over 3000. It's tough, I don't think I could maintain deficit for awhile at 2500. Will count today's calories and eat around 3000, I don't think I'll gain any.

Are you eating the right foods? Cut out all sugar and starch (no white bread, pasta, white rice etc). No processed foods either. If you crave sugar, eat an apple or two. Fruits are fine in moderation.

If you do that, you'll get your cravings under control. I promise. I realize it's going to be difficult with your condition, but give it all you've got, V.

[vadsie]

I think that's what I need to hear, luci. I'll make the necessary adjustments. My voices are HUGE on junk food, so what kind of cheat allowance is there?

[anandagirl]

I think that's what I need to hear, luci. I'll make the necessary adjustments. My voices are HUGE on junk food, so what kind of cheat allowance is there?

It all depends on what works for YOU. I follow a flexible diet where I eat whatever I want, but can allow myself treats if they fit my calories and macros. I still mostly eat healthy food, but don't deprive myself of anything

[vadsie]

I think maybe one chocolate bar a day and the rest healthy would be ideal.

[-Lucifer]

I think maybe one chocolate bar a day and the rest healthy would be ideal.

That seems like too much to me, but the best thing for you would be to gradually cut down on processed food. If you quit cold turkey, you'll go insane.

Don't worry too much. You'll make it.

[anandagirl]

That seems like too much to me, but the best thing for you would be to gradually cut down on processed food. If you quit cold turkey, you'll go insane.

Don't worry too much. You'll make it.

Yes, cut back a little at a time Gradual changes last!

[vadsie]

ya im counting macro's now, i think im passed the "count only calories" stage. my face looks better when my macros are better, i just started today but i remember when i started in 2014 i would do well when i counted my macros. dang work in 2 weeks, hopefully it'll be fun

[anandagirl]

Macros are good!

[vadsie]

Hello, my obstacle is sleeping at night without eating, I shall try my hardest. It's slowly going in my favour but it's still hard. Good night

[-Lucifer]

Hello, my obstacle is sleeping at night without eating, I shall try my hardest. It's slowly going in my favour but it's still hard. Good night

Are you talking about midnight snacking or dinner? If it's the latter, don't skip it. Eat a small portion, but make sure it's 2 hours before your bedtime.

[vadsie]

Midnight snacking, I'll try leave 300-400 calories for midnight, so hard to say no to them 🙁

[-Lucifer]

Midnight snacking, I'll try leave 300-400 calories for midnight, so hard to say no to them 🙁

A spoonful of PB is the best midnight snack. Will keep you satisfied.

[vadsie]

Tonight seems promising, I made it this far without eating, all I have to do now is sleep 😴

[-Lucifer]

Routine visit.

How goes it, V? Are you controlling your cravings or are they controlling you?

[vadsie]

Hi lucifer tnx for checking in. my cravings are under control. just have other stuff to worry about in my life besides macros or weightloss, im on the verge of getting rid of my alcohol cravings ive had tnx to my voices. i was reading a book about sobriety and it really helped me see the addiction part of my alcohol use. i havent drank since july 1st. and today i met with someone i work with dealing with my illness and he suggests not caring so much about bodybuilding aspect of fitness but consider eating just for health. no exact macro counting and even no calorie counting. its a lil freeing knowing i dont have to live up to my lofty expectations of myself anymore. before i gained a bunch of weight it was my dream to be a natural bodybuilding gym rat, but those dreams are long gone so ill just concentrate on eating less and more healthy. i start work next week so ill be making money soon and ill be able to buy food that suits my goals. anywho thats all thats been going on, i feel like $1,000,000. tnx for caring man, i love you for it, i think this idea that i had to build as much muscle and lose as much fat as fast as possible was making me spin my tires so imma take a slower route. but ill still have fatloss on my mind. no more lofty goals! haha take care dude :>

[-Lucifer]

i met with someone i work with dealing with my illness and he suggests not caring so much about bodybuilding aspect of fitness but consider eating just for health. no exact macro counting and even no calorie counting. its a lil freeing knowing i dont have to live up to my lofty expectations of myself anymore. before i gained a bunch of weight it was my dream to be a natural bodybuilding gym rat, but those dreams are long gone so ill just concentrate on eating less and more healthy.

That person is right - you don't have to look like Arnold. Just eat less and lose some fat so you'll be healthy. Lifting is fine but there's no need to overdo it.

I used to be fat myself and I never tracked my intake. All I did was eat smaller portions sizes and that's how I burned fat. You can do the same thing.

i start work next week so ill be making money soon and ill be able to buy food that suits my goals. anywho thats all thats been going on, i feel like $1,000,000. tnx for caring man, i love you for it, i think this idea that i had to build as much muscle and lose as much fat as fast as possible was making me spin my tires so imma take a slower route. but ill still have fatloss on my mind. no more lofty goals! haha take care dude :>

Set reasonable goals and you won't quit. We're here for you. Take it easy, V.

P.S. I'm glad you're starting work. Buy healthy stuff like whole grains, lean meats and veggies. Fruits are also good. They make for a great snack.

[-Lucifer]

How's it going? Too busy with work to log in, huh?

[vadsie]

lol! when im lazy believe me, im lazy. i browse here occasionally, still havent recieved a pay cheque yet so i havent been able to buy the food i want, i just eat whatever my mom makes. im floating around 358 but tomorrow i will start counting calories again cuz this guessing is getting me NO WHERE! also i havent been able to say no to my voices when they want me to eat at night, but im certain tonight is the night i can make it through. im 100% certain if i didnt eat at night id lose weight for sure but i just wasnt strong enough to fight off their temptations. i dont overeat anymore when i do eat tho which is good. work was tough to get used to but im getting in a groove, even working with troubled kids is becoming a breeze. cant wait to get paid too lol.

[vadsie]

Well I have one goal that I think I can keep, and that’s update this journal everyday for the rest of the year. When I keep it updated I try harder, when I don’t I don’t answer to anyone. I exercised today, just 5 mins on the bike, it’s a start. Ate a salad for supper, it’s a start. I also ate McDonald’s for breakfast, and a fruit and veggie shake with the nutribullet. Other things I have to do is eat more often, I don’t eat frequently enough cuz of my diabetes. Smaller meals more often to regulate the blood. Take care .

[vadsie]

Weight update: 356.6 woot

[-Lucifer]

Weight update: 356.6 woot

Yay! Keep going, V.

[vadsie]

Tnx lucifer! Well today was not the best days, sick all weekend which sucks. Tomorrow I will count calories as I can sleep without being forced to eat. Haha, suck it you mean voices! I go back to work tomorrow yay!

[-Lucifer]

Tnx lucifer! Well today was not the best days, sick all weekend which sucks. Tomorrow I will count calories as I can sleep without being forced to eat. Haha, suck it you mean voices! I go back to work tomorrow yay!

A lot of people have been sick lately. I reckon it's the weather.

Enjoy work and get well soon.

[anandagirl]

That's an awesome goal! You got this!

[vadsie]

Tnx you two work today was good 🙂

[vadsie]

How’s it going? I counted some calories and didn’t others, but I’m sure it’s under 2500 for the day. Today was pretty terrible in the world. Hate terrorism. I ate 2 wagon wheels, 1 bologna sandwich, 2 slices of toast, 1 cup of apple juice, 1 bowl of soup with like 7 crackers, and 1 bowl of cereal. Other than the wagon wheels today was good. Good night!

[anandagirl]

I do not know what is wrong with people sometimes