How long did it take for your ex to come back?

[johng12345]

After a relationship of 2 years 4 months. My ex gf cheated on me. She cried when she saw me having a bad time and when I talked to her but that's about it. She was never really apologetic. Only apologized and that's it.
This was back in June. She left me after two weeks. She had a bad first week I know that much.
Though after two weeks she left me. She went straight to this guy and in a relationship with him. I know she never stopped talking to him whilst we didn't know what was happening in the beginning before the breakup.

Want to know if in this situation do they ever regret it and come back? Or at least get in contact to make sure they made the right decision.
I do know she loved me but obviously either not enough or not towards the end.
She is 20 btw and I'm 27.

Beginning she wanted to be friends but now she doesn't talk to me or says hi when she is alone.
Haven't seen her for nearly a month. Though if I would go and speak to her she would. Though don't want to look like a fool.

It's been 4 months is this still honeymoon period?

[jlick]

They come back after it didn't work out with the next guy that was dicking her down. Do you really want her back after shes been ran thru by multiple guys

so much this. have a little self respect gentleman.

[betachit]

I've been on your shoes brother. Don't bother with her. When she contacts you just smash her and make a quick escape. I still think of my ex every f******* single day even tho I know it isn't worth it. Don't make the same mistakes that most of guys who got dump for someone else does it would only left you so f******** defeated and kept you obsessing over her and wanting her even more. Trust me on this one. You don't want it

[AlexNYC7]

Here's my story. Just got out of 1 yr 7 months relationship this is the first long term relationship for the both of us we are almost living together. I'm 26 she's 21. This girl had a huge crush on me before and I'm not even interested in her but don't get me wrong she's so pretty and she's the prettiest girl that I'd been with. So like most of the guys here I also thought that she's the one. She kept texting and calling me before in 2014 ignored her most of the time. Then one night in 2016 I'm bored looking for someone to talk to online then I saw her chat her for a while she kept on flirting with me and next thing I know where already a couple that night. Ex cheated on me emotionally then dumped me last month september 2017 for the guy she caught feelings for. Didn't see it coming but I feel it deep inside my guts that she might be seeing someone else. (Should've listen to my guts. It just that there is no proof.) This dude had a live in partner got caught cheating with my ex then got dumped by his girl he's 29 and a major cheater. My ex and I broke up without any begging, pleading and crying I just agreed that we should go our separate ways but still beta as chit cause I'm still so nice to her after what she's done and promised that I'll still accept her in the future when things didn't workout with her new bf. Later that night we still hangout she slept at my house then I asked her for sex she agreed but cried later cause she thinks I'm just using her for sex. Told me it would be the last time that we would see each other.

Next day got a message from her asking if she could still sleep at my house I agreed. Ask her for sex again this time she enjoyed it.

Next day got a message from her again asking if I could come over her house and if I stay for the night I agreed didn't ask her for sex but had sex.

Next day is my off. She didn't go to work to hang with me. Ex is super clingy, sweet and jealous this time. She thought I'm already seeing someone else. Enjoying every moment with me then cry asking me to take her back. I refuse. Told me I didn't fight for her and I'm like what? (But I want her so bad. I want to take her back but I want to have the control in the relationship when I take her back. I'm working to take her back at this moment but I want it not because her new found guy might not work but because she realize that I'm the only one she's gonna love.) I'm so stupid at this moment. We had sex the whole day.

Next day I got super beta. While we are eating I ask her that we should work things out. That maybe this is all I need to change my ways. (I thought I'm the one that did her wrong and pushed her to someone else's arms. I didn't know much at this point. I didn't realize that I didn't do anything wrong at this moment. I'm still blaming myself for everything that happened.) She begun acting so bitchy. Still sleeping at my house for a couple of days bang her one more time. Then one day I got super drunk. I saw her outside my house talking to her new bf on the phone I got pissed and sang really loud she got pissed and told me i was being disrespectful. I got so mad because of everything the confusion the anger the hurting inside went out and I lashed out on her. Called her names and stuff threatened her that I would tell her new bf that I'm still ****ing her and after I told her new bf I would beat him till his last breath then she cries I calmed down when she cried cause I feel sorry for her. (But I shouldn't feel sorry for her cause she deserve it.) She still sleep at my house. I told her that we should stop seeing each other cause it's so confusing to me, she agreed and I thank her for understanding.

I guess this is my wake up call or so I thought.

I went NC and just after a couple of days I'm starting to feel good about the break up. I didn't want her anymore or so I thought. I didn't think much of her. I don't give a chit about her anymore. One day she's missing, her uncle was asking me about her and I told her uncle that she may be at her friends house cause she sleep over at her friend's when sunday cause the next day would be her day off. (She just started sleeping at her friend's house when things are going rough between us or when she starts cheating on me. That's when I notice that she's backing away from me. I can't get rid of this girl before I let her control my ****ing social life which is a mistake on my part). After a week of NC I received a lot of calls from her and a text message telling me to pick up my stuff at her house but I know that she just wants to see me. I ignored all of it and the next day ignored all her calls again. The 3rd day she calls me again this time she text me begging me to answer the call just once telling me she missed me so much. I'm at work. I answer the call I act like I wast really busy when the truth is I'm just reading all the stuff in this thread, then when I look in front of me she's standing there looking like a lost puppy craving for my attention I was really happy I act really indifferent acting like everything is so cool with my life. We ate together and while we were eating she saying a lot of indirect stuff on getting back together or check if I'm still willing to accept her. She ask if she could hang out with me I told her to go home and take a bath. She did and came back I told her she can't hangout cause I'm busy and came back again then I told her I will check on her later .That night. I hang with her at her house we kissed and stuff she's ready to have sex with me ask me to sleep there. I refused cause I'm hanging out with my friends. Which I regret later. LOL. (She's weighing her decisions this time. To get back with me or stay with her new bf. She's thinking of breaking up with him.)

Next day she came to my work again she ask if she could hang out with me I let her stay cause I missed her and f*** I'm starting to get beta. We hang out the whole day. Keep on giving me hints that she want us back together and saying asking if I would still accept her. Of course I said that I won't. I sleep at her house now I'm the one who insist cause I want to bang her she let me. We almost had sex. Didn't have sex which sucks. I'm back to acting really indifferent again. (I ask her if she and her new bf had sex already she denied it cause she knows that's my rule I'm only gonna accept her if they didn't have sex yet. Which I found out today that they already have sex. Man she's such a liar.)

Next day she came to my work again I let her stay again which is a f******* mistake. Someone saw us the other night together eating at mcdonalds and told her new bf about it. She thinks I'm the one that told her bf. She's not mad about it. They're fighting about it. New bf is super jealous of me. She tells me that she's gonna break up with his new bf for real this time. And I'm starting to get desperate now I'm having the idea of us getting back together. Chit it sucks. She's breaking up with her new bf and new bf is super beta begging her not to break up with him. That night I checked up on her when she saw me she started crying I don't know what's going on but she and her new bf are having a fight. I left because I don't want to be her emotional tampon plus it's my sister's b-day and we will go out. Didn't hear from her for a day.

Then the next day she came to my work again. Insisting that I'm the one who told her bf about us. We argued a lil bit then told her to go away if that's the only thing she's gonna say. Didn't hear from her again.

The next day I went to check up if they already broke up which is phucking super mistake on my part. She's gonna meet up with her new bf I went nuts and want to create more drama. I told her not to go and hang out with me so that they'll gonna have something to fight with. Because I know that new bf is super beta. She declined and I got desperate beg her not to go and annoyed the chit out of her. And it left me so phucking defeated for a couple of days. Until I saw it on a positive light.

Now my question. Is it possible for her to cheat on him with me again in the near future I just want the other guy to look more ridiculous. I don't want her back I just want to keep phucking her while I'm looking for a new girl.

BTW while typing all of this s*** she came and see me to verify if I wore a condom when we had sex last month after we broke up. Cause her monthly visitor is delayed. I told her yes I do and didn't believe it for a second then I told her to f*** off cause if there is something in there I know it wasn't mine. She go away and text me later saying she was sorry for still bothering me her period came.. oh well.

When we talk last week she said that she still feeling guilty when she hang out with her new guy especially when she's doing something special for him that she haven't done to me. She kept thinking about me all the time they were together. What does it mean?

Cliffs:
-47 yo had GF and thought she was the one
-GF slooting around, cheats on poster many times but he takes her back every time
-GF sleeps in his house, and visits him at work causing drama
-no consequence for cheating girl because poster is willingly being taken advantage of by his serious oneitis
-poster getting what he deserves for being a doormat
-poster will be an unwanted daddy soon because he can’t stop banging cheating girl

[betachit]

Cliffs:
-47 yo had GF and thought she was the one
-GF slooting around, cheats on poster many times but he takes her back every time
-GF sleeps in his house, and visits him at work causing drama
-no consequence for cheating girl because poster is willingly being taken advantage of by his serious oneitis
-poster getting what he deserves for being a doormat
-poster will be an unwanted daddy soon because he can’t stop banging cheating girl

Hahahahaha nice try. Not being cheated so many times dude. Just once. Not physically tho. No new guy is the one being cheated on. Poster wants to bang cheating ex so new guy will look pathetic.
Poster is a f****** doormat tho. Hahahaha

[JohanMing]

Brb
Never came back

[johng12345]

I know i just cant stop obsessing about her. And knowing that she is with someone else thats not me just kills me inside. It just feels i wont get out of this awful hole.
Could it ever be possible for them to come back? That i know off she is very happy in this new relationship and i unserstand i can't wait for her either.
Ecen if she does have problems and breaks up with yhis new guy it doesn't mean she will want me.
I was never bad with her or anything like that.
Its such a painful situation that i would never wabt to go through again.
Before anyone says i am going out and tryibg to be distracted.
I hate myself for being like this and being alone without her.
Yes i have friends and family.
When we left the relationship it felt like part of me lost itself. Its so pathetic and i have never felt this way ever.
She has moved on of what i have heard and seen. Its such a painful part of my life that i want over. I want yo move on i want another relationship i want to be happy again.

And yes i have to remember the negative of the relationship as well.
I would never kill myself but i do feel so low some times.
I have always wished her back but sadly i never see that happening.

They do say once u have finally moved on and your happy that could maybe be the day you get a surprise and she contacts me. But also that day that she contacts me might never happen.

[TheBrentmeister]

now that I think about it, each one hit me up again after around 3-4 months.

Same. OP move on though, if they contact it's usually to see if you're hung up over her.

[TheBrentmeister]

I know i just cant stop obsessing about her. And knowing that she is with someone else thats not me just kills me inside. It just feels i wont get out of this awful hole.
Could it ever be possible for them to come back? That i know off she is very happy in this new relationship and i unserstand i can't wait for her either.
Ecen if she does have problems and breaks up with yhis new guy it doesn't mean she will want me.
I was never bad with her or anything like that.
Its such a painful situation that i would never wabt to go through again.
Before anyone says i am going out and tryibg to be distracted.
I hate myself for being like this and being alone without her.
Yes i have friends and family.
When we left the relationship it felt like part of me lost itself. Its so pathetic and i have never felt this way ever.
She has moved on of what i have heard and seen. Its such a painful part of my life that i want over. I want yo move on i want another relationship i want to be happy again.

And yes i have to remember the negative of the relationship as well.
I would never kill myself but i do feel so low some times.
I have always wished her back but sadly i never see that happening.

They do say once u have finally moved on and your happy that could maybe be the day you get a surprise and she contacts me. But also that day that she contacts me might never happen.

Why would you want to get back with someone who left you and jumped into a new relationship? My ex did that and it was hard, but you have to maintain your self respect. Even if she does hit you up, do NOT respond. Move on my man.

[TheBrentmeister]

I know i just cant stop obsessing about her. And knowing that she is with someone else thats not me just kills me inside. It just feels i wont get out of this awful hole.
Could it ever be possible for them to come back? That i know off she is very happy in this new relationship and i unserstand i can't wait for her either.
Ecen if she does have problems and breaks up with yhis new guy it doesn't mean she will want me.
I was never bad with her or anything like that.
Its such a painful situation that i would never wabt to go through again.
Before anyone says i am going out and tryibg to be distracted.
I hate myself for being like this and being alone without her.
Yes i have friends and family.
When we left the relationship it felt like part of me lost itself. Its so pathetic and i have never felt this way ever.
She has moved on of what i have heard and seen. Its such a painful part of my life that i want over. I want yo move on i want another relationship i want to be happy again.

And yes i have to remember the negative of the relationship as well.
I would never kill myself but i do feel so low some times.
I have always wished her back but sadly i never see that happening.

They do say once u have finally moved on and your happy that could maybe be the day you get a surprise and she contacts me. But also that day that she contacts me might never happen.

Why would you want to get back with someone who left you and jumped into a new relationship? My ex did that and it sucked, but you have to maintain your self respect. Even if she does hit you up for attention, do NOT respond. Move on my man.

[johng12345]

Your so right i have to move on. As she was my first gf i always think that i wont find another girl and anither girl so good looking in my eyes. But as they say love is blind so i should think that i will find another one and the nedt one will be as good looking for me as the previous one. And maybe even happier.
Though is it true that they could always contact you when you least expect it regardless the months or even more that passes by?
As they say its the honeymoon period for them now. Though to be honest i dont wish anything bad on her in the end of the day. I know she is very loving etc but she does have a bad points.

[betachit]

I know i just cant stop obsessing about her. And knowing that she is with someone else thats not me just kills me inside. It just feels i wont get out of this awful hole.
Could it ever be possible for them to come back? That i know off she is very happy in this new relationship and i unserstand i can't wait for her either.
Ecen if she does have problems and breaks up with yhis new guy it doesn't mean she will want me.
I was never bad with her or anything like that.
Its such a painful situation that i would never wabt to go through again.
Before anyone says i am going out and tryibg to be distracted.
I hate myself for being like this and being alone without her.
Yes i have friends and family.
When we left the relationship it felt like part of me lost itself. Its so pathetic and i have never felt this way ever.
She has moved on of what i have heard and seen. Its such a painful part of my life that i want over. I want yo move on i want another relationship i want to be happy again.

And yes i have to remember the negative of the relationship as well.
I would never kill myself but i do feel so low some times.
I have always wished her back but sadly i never see that happening.

They do say once u have finally moved on and your happy that could maybe be the day you get a surprise and she contacts me. But also that day that she contacts me might never happen.

did she dumped you for someone?

[NicolasMmmm]

1.5 yr realationship, I dumped her - contacted me a lot during the first month, then found someone else, then after about a year we randomly met and she asked me out.

2 month relationship, I dumped her - we stayed friends and speak occasionally. We even went to a gig together without it being awkward at all, very chill girl.

3 month relationship, she dumped me - told her I didn't want to speak to her anymore, kept sending me random snaps till I blocked her. I initiated 1 year later and we went on a date.

I was recently "dumped" by a girl I was dating. I have been her crush for years, we've had our good times in the past, now she started liking another dude (we can't see each other enough, and she's hot with a lot of male friends, so I kinda expected it...). She told me she wants take a break for a while, I told her it's not gonna be just for a while, and then we made out. After that she was all sweet and asking for more and I told her I'd come by another day again, and she said "ok message me first". I never spoke to her again.

I've been on NC for 2 weeks now and I'm ok. Today I found out she has been crying, idk why though. It would mean a lot to me if she messaged me. I'm probably gonna initiate in a month or something, idk if it's a good idea to find out if she has a boyfriend first by asking her sister (close friend of mine)

[johng12345]

Yeah she dumped me for someone else

[NicolasMmmm]

Strong Oct 2017 *******eering

Sometimes you gotta chase, it's ok. That's actually how I got into my most serious relationship yet, after being rejected for almost a year. I broke contact and then initiated.

[AWillis]

Yeah she dumped me for someone else

if she dumped you it is unlikely she will contact you again.

had you dumped her, you would still pop into her mind from time to time. who knows how she might act if that did occur.

[betachit]

Strong Oct 2017 *******eering

j

Hahahaha guess I'm a *******

[betachit]

Yeah she dumped me for someone else

Don't bother with her anymore. She's not worth it. Don't even think that you love her cause you don't. It was just your DlCK that's thinking for you and you should stop cause it's bad. I know cause I let my DlCK think for me before and after the BU and I lost a lot of self respect. I thought I love her but I was just scared to lose an easy ****.

Move on man. Go out there. There's a lot of fish in the sea. Goodluck

[AnaAnka]

my ex came back after two months

[betachit]

my ex came back after two months

Did you take her back?

[Fang2]

let it go OP

This

[seanvic0821]

Hey, I know this is an older post but i thought i’d go out on a limb and ask for some advice.
My girlfriend of a year and three months dumped me because we were having a bit of a turbulent month, what with me having midterms and her getting sick and becoming very unhappy in her career (I am 22 and a student she is 25 and working). We had an amazing relationship overall, built on a proper combination of both lust and friendship as we met each other almost 5 years ago and as time went on we became true best friends. We rarely ever fought and we were very open with each other about our feelings. We would always make plans for the future, even if it was just a few months in advance, and even had some talks about marriage and otherwise as time went on and i got a little closer to attaining my PhD. As i said before we ended up having a rough month, which resulted in us having two big fights in the month of february. At that point i asked her to sit down with me on a friday night to talk and sort out the issues we were having to strengthen our relationship and stop fighting about stupid things (as the majority of our fights were over small things that really didn’t matter in the long run). In short, when we met up to talk, she proceeded to ask me for a break from the relationship for a few weeks, so that she could sort out her feelings about the relationship as she felt that even though she loved me fully as a person, and had fallen in love with me, she claimed that she would fall back out of love with me, either because we would have a small disagreement, or because something had gone wrong in her own life outside of the relationship, she would pull back, and not feel it anymore.
After about a month of being on a break, we met up again to talk, and throughout our time apart, i had done a lot of thinking on the relationship as well, and realized all of the mistakes that i was making, insecurity and not loving myself properly being one of the biggest mistakes. She looked at me at that point and said that she felt she still couldn’t be in a relationship where she could fall in love with me “the right way” and be able to tell me she loves me every day, something we could never get to even though we were in a committed and happy relationship for so long, and felt that i deserved better than that. She also stated that she felt that she wasn’t over a lot of what had happened to her in her personal life, regarding past relationships as well as a big falling out with her friends, resulting in her having trust issues with pretty much everyone around her, even me to some extent. She felt that she needed more time to sort all of that stuff out. On top of that, she also said that she was still upset about some of the fights we had, and that they still made her blood boil. She also stated that she felt lost in life as well, given that she was so unhappy in her career, to the point where it even placed stress on our relationship, she felt that she needed to do some things for herself, like get a new job and move out of her dads house into her own place, as well as realign her goals and set new ones for herself to work towards, she said that she couldn’t do these things while in a relationship and having to consider someone else’s feelings, especially me because she said she cares about me so much.
As we were breaking up, she made it very clear that she never once said “it’s over” and that there was a possibility that once she had gotten her life back in order that if the feelings were still there we would revisit our relationship and start fresh. What i know is that i really love this girl, and i would do anything to be with her again. My family wants me to leave the state for a few months to fix and work on myself some more, but i am afraid that she might move on while i am gone. We still talk every now and then to some extent, as well as the occasional snapchat or DM on instagram and she still confides in me and asks me for advice on certain things. I miss her to death and do not know what to do, if anyone has any advice i’d love to hear it!
PS i have offered on numerous occasions for her to come get her belongings from my place as we almost lived together sleeping over 5-6 nights out of the week at either my house or hers. I even offered to make the hour drive to her place to drop it off, and she said that she would come and get it, but hasn’t, and won’t even mention it, even when she does text me. it’s confusig especially because i know she actually NEEDS the stuff that she left at my place, for example every pair of high heels she owns is with me. She even went away on a vacation with her family for a week (at which point her contact became less and less and she even started to leave me hanging mid conversation). She even managed to finally land the new job she was looking for!

[nmaia89]

For those of you that have gone NC, how long did it take before your ex reached out? Apparently exes always come back, so I'm just curious.

Never!

2008 ex: never.
2011 ex: never.

[MuzzieChik786]

No self-respecting person would go back to something that they consciously, willingly, and intentionally left.

Those who do - have the credibility of a politician.

[Voidgaze]

It's likely my ex will never make contact again. Story below if you care to see why.

I got terrible advice from my sister in law to "go see her" at her stand at the farmers market. I trusted my sis in law because she was a latina woman too, and she seemed to know what she was talking about. She said "That latinas never let go so easily". My ex kept saying we could meet up for lunch someday, so I thought she wanted to see me again in the future. When I saw my ex that day she acted normal and my sister in law said that my ex looked really excited to see me. But she texted me later that day telling me what I did "was NOT okay" and it wasn't, it was very stupid of me to do. Two days after that she texted me saying if I ever pulled a stunt like that again that she would get a restraining order. She told me I "backed her into a corner" and that it was creepy. At the end of it all she said "If I wanted to see you, I would have made the effort. Plz stop". It tore me to shreds inside hearing her say that.

She kept saying that she was willing to meet up, but I guess it was never true and she was trying to spare my feelings. While I wish she had been truthful from the beginning instead of letting me think I had a chance to meet up to catch up, it was still INCREDIBLY STUPID and beta to pull the stunt I did that day. I will never take advice from my sister and law ever again. I could've decided it wasn't a good idea, BUT NOPE!

It happened a few months ago but I still feel ashamed and embarrassed about it, and I wish I had been smarter. I've kept up NC for over 4 months, but after what happened I don't think my first ex gf will ever bother to contact me again. I really wanted her to know that I kept my promise to get my car within a month.


LESSON LEARNED. I cringe every time I think of the ****ing teenage beta stunt I pulled. Keeps me up at night too. ****!

I might make a post going into details one day, but I want to spare myself the incoming negs.

[Biggo123]

she reached out after 2 months when she realised how ****ed she was. never did take her back

[Imnew1]

They come back after it didn't work out with the next guy that was dicking her down. Do you really want her back after shes been ran thru by multiple guys

Exactly!

I shamefully have to bump this because I made the horrible mistake of checking my ex's yelp reviews (lol what kind of psycho writes yelp reviews anyways?), and I'm an admitted certified idiot for checking anyways but she did me so wrong at our breakup that I was left beyond confused af so whatever. She's currently writing and mentioning her new bf like things are well established. Sunday brunches after probably sexing it up all night and that AM. Well good for her I guess. All this after her crazy psycho actions during our breakup before last Christmas leaving me confused af as to wth just happened with zero closure other than she was a crazy chick from a bad family upbringing who chose to do that, and about 10 months later is with somebody official. Pretty standard for her like most chicks. She can't be alone and has a biological clock at 33. This poor chump is going to be pressured so hard. I would never take her back.

Basically don't ever look at instagram, or any dumb social media sites of you ex, nor be on one period. You won't feel good seeing whatever you looked for. You already know that they're not suffering and sad without you without seeing it, and know that they're almost assuredly getting smashed and receiving all kinds of bodily fluids every night. Don't ever wait for the day it takes for them to reach out friendly, or trying to rekindle. Move forward and if you ever hear from them "Thank you, have a good day" is the only proper response if any.

She broke up last year and groveled back within 3 months. I was crushed then. Now I just don't care. If she comes back now there's nothing to say and it feels liberating.

[PxV]

For those of you that have gone NC, how long did it take before your ex reached out? Apparently exes always come back, so I'm just curious.

You have all the answers in this thread OP. NC is to work on you, strive to be the best version of yourself, they'll or might not come back one day, it shouldn't matter because you're not supposed to do it to get her back but to move on.

[ladybird90]

3 months, I think. By then I was already with my current boyfriend and declined the offer to meet up/talk or whatever he wanted and had no interest in him.

[4North1Side2]

2 months