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  1. #2731
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DutchieM View Post
    how has evey one been doing? wishing all good pregression
    I'm good dude, how you doin?
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  2. #2732
    Registered User katarina2804's Avatar
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    Smile Seeking males to participate in online interviews - 50$ incentive

    Hi everyone,
    Sorry for posting something unrelated to the current discussion, but I could really use your help in recruiting more male participants for my research! I am a PhD candidate at Western Sydney University. For my PhD project, I am conducting online interviews via Zoom teleconferencing with males who currently have OR previously had either:
    a) eating/body image concerns;
    b) disordered eating;
    OR
    c) eating disorder or muscle dysmorphia diagnosis

    The topic of the interview is body image and participants will be asked questions about experience with their own body, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about one's weight and shape. During the interview, participants do not have to use the Zoom video. The interview will last no more than one hour and you will be reimbursed with $50 AUD giftcard.

    This study has been approved by the University's ethics committee board. If you are under the age of 18, you will be given a parental information sheet and parental informed consent (in addition to participant information sheet and participant informed consent) which must be signed on-screen before participation.

    If you found yourself in participant description and are interested in helping me out, please email me on this address: 19957210(et)student.westernsydney.edu.au. Also, if you have any questions or doubts, don't hesitate to contact me.

    Thank you in advance!
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  3. #2733
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    We can get through it! God bless everyone
    My Daily Vlog - Hey guys, my name is HALK! I have been natural bodybuilding for 3.5 years! I love this sport and make unique daily fitness vlogs with advice and information! MY vlogs are short, sweet, funny and to the point! All I am asking for is a chance, this is my dream! God be with you all!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZh2xyIdf9o
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  4. #2734
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jwaza31 View Post
    Hi everyone,

    I have asked questions about nutrition before on the forum. I have determined that I believe I have orthorexia and may have had anorexia. I am a distance runner and have restored my weight to what it was at before I experienced my drastic weight loss, I'm not saying numbers because I don't want to trigger anyone or put anyone in danger. I eat very low calories still for my weight and activity levels and have disordered thoughts constantly. I have decided to go to a doctor that specializes in this sort of thing and I have my first appointment tomorrow. I will be doing outpatient recovery. Could anyone shed any light on what I could expect, I'm at a normal weight so I'm afraid they will make me gain more weight.

    Thanks
    A 'normal weight' isn't something you can define in your current state of mind. Stop thinking in terms of 'normal' and 'abnormal' and start thinking in terms of satisfying your mind and body's actual needs.

    From what I have heard, experiences with outpatient vary a lot.

    Eventually, though, you need to stop fearing weight gain... nobody can 'MAKE YOU' gain weight when you voluntarily enter treatment... it's something you need to do on your own.

    However, again, it's the fear about gaining weight that is the issue, not that a treatment team would try and make you do it.

    You're not thinking clearly, and that has to change.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  5. #2735
    Registered User Razoro's Avatar
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    Suffering of some binge days (mostly healthy foods ,but overeating )

    Gained like 12 lbs in a week...how it's possible ???
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  6. #2736
    Registered User stevowrock's Avatar
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    Hello guys! so i came back to the gym around one month ago. i havent been feeling well, tired, no appetitte and disliking things like going to the gym and even things i usually enjoy eating. i think i started going to the gym weighting around 160 and im 6’ now last time i check i was around 159. is it more diet related? should i eat if not hungry? thank!
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  7. #2737
    Rebelling in my psychosis thegymbum's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stevowrock View Post
    Hello guys! so i came back to the gym around one month ago. i havent been feeling well, tired, no appetitte and disliking things like going to the gym and even things i usually enjoy eating. i think i started going to the gym weighting around 160 and im 6’ now last time i check i was around 159. is it more diet related? should i eat if not hungry? thank!

    Just throwing this out there: please get a covid test as soon as you can, preferably before going to the gym again. I’ve found that a large percentage of patients who test positive present with symptoms similar to what you’re describing, yet don’t have any of the traditional symptoms such as a cough. Probably the most common symptom is loss of appetite, and fatigue is an issue with the vast majority of covid cases. Best to be safe and check into it!
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  8. #2738
    Rebelling in my psychosis thegymbum's Avatar
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    Just popping in for a quick catch up and hopefully a little relapse prevention. It’s been so long since I’ve been on these boards at all, especially in this forum. I doubt anyone remembers me since it’s been many years, though I look forward to meeting anyone new 🙂

    I’ve been in recovery from severe anorexia for a few years now, and finally took the leap from swearing I was “recovered” but maintaining a “happy medium”, still underweight BMI and overexercising like crazy, to finally getting to a healthy weight and being OK with it and cutting back on exercise. I held out for a while.

    Now for some reason the body image aspect has really flared up. I’ve done so much damage to my body that working out more and getting to peak leanness without losing weight/sacrificing recovery is out of the question, to its making it hard for me to accept being at a healthy weight. Wondering if anyone can relate to this? I’m sure I’m not alone. I would love to stick with the balance I had achieved, but with chronic injuries and damage from anorexia piled up high, it’s hard to train enough to be really fit at a healthy weight and it’s hard mentally......
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  9. #2739
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thegymbum View Post
    Just popping in for a quick catch up and hopefully a little relapse prevention. It’s been so long since I’ve been on these boards at all, especially in this forum. I doubt anyone remembers me since it’s been many years, though I look forward to meeting anyone new ������

    I’ve been in recovery from severe anorexia for a few years now, and finally took the leap from swearing I was “recovered” but maintaining a “happy medium”, still underweight BMI and overexercising like crazy, to finally getting to a healthy weight and being OK with it and cutting back on exercise. I held out for a while.

    Now for some reason the body image aspect has really flared up. I’ve done so much damage to my body that working out more and getting to peak leanness without losing weight/sacrificing recovery is out of the question, to its making it hard for me to accept being at a healthy weight. Wondering if anyone can relate to this? I’m sure I’m not alone. I would love to stick with the balance I had achieved, but with chronic injuries and damage from anorexia piled up high, it’s hard to train enough to be really fit at a healthy weight and it’s hard mentally......
    I definitely remember your Avi.

    This is certainly something I have struggled with before, but honestly now - after 15+ years dealing with this, I'm finally at a point where I am 90%+ done with it.

    I'm pretty much in a mindset now where I'm just dealing with the 'ghosts' of the habits I had before which become so routine, they're unconscious action: 'wondering' how many calories are in things (even if I don't care), having fleeting moments where I think to 'check my abs' in the mirror, or touch/rub on my stomach to see if I've gained fat, etc.

    My reaction to my body is totally different, but it's the actions that just take longer to rid myself of. It's like muscle-memory... just takes time.

    BUT, in terms of my assessment of my body... I feel almost entirely 'cured'.

    I think what largely 'fixed it' was thinking more broadly about my place in the world, even at a spiritual level. Much of my ED was a coping mechanism to find meaning, control, and power over my life. Even though it, ironically, took the power FROM me, the ED served as a distraction from a lot of things and ultimately it was like a chain pinning me to a lifestyle I could always fall back to for comfort; if I didn't succeed in life, at least I could succeed at being lean/thin/in control.

    But now I just see life differently altogether. I love training, but the pleasure I get from it is more visceral, and even more mental... not derived from a place of hate or scorn or shame for how I look.

    In fact, using that same spiritual leaning I mentioned before, I've been able to really see my mind/identify as totally separate from my body...

    It's a bit of an Eastern spiritual thing, but now I truly see my body as just a vessel/vehicle for my mind. I have a brain, an identify, a 'soul' (if you wanna call it that), and my body is just this organic bundle of cells that shuttles it around. It's not 'good', 'bad', 'worse', 'better', at any particular size or weight... it's just a vessel that carries 'me' around.

    And so, if I'm not my body, it cannot dictate my worth... so, all I need to do, is treat my body in a way that will allow my MIND/SOUL to last and thrive for as long as possible.

    Sounds kind of woo-woo... but it's honestly how I think about it now. I just don't derive worth or meaning from how I look anymore.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  10. #2740
    Registered User zatanoa's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thegymbum View Post
    Just popping in for a quick catch up and hopefully a little relapse prevention. It’s been so long since I’ve been on these boards at all, especially in this forum. I doubt anyone remembers me since it’s been many years, though I look forward to meeting anyone new 🙂

    I’ve been in recovery from severe anorexia for a few years now, and finally took the leap from swearing I was “recovered” but maintaining a “happy medium”, still underweight BMI and overexercising like crazy, to finally getting to a healthy weight and being OK with it and cutting back on exercise. I held out for a while.

    Now for some reason the body image aspect has really flared up. I’ve done so much damage to my body that working out more and getting to peak leanness without losing weight/sacrificing recovery is out of the question, to its making it hard for me to accept being at a healthy weight. Wondering if anyone can relate to this? I’m sure I’m not alone. I would love to stick with the balance I had achieved, but with chronic injuries and damage from anorexia piled up high, it’s hard to train enough to be really fit at a healthy weight and it’s hard mentally......
    Hope you are good! Had to create a new account since I forgot password and emails on the old one
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  11. #2741
    Registered User Strawng's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DutchieM View Post
    In fact, using that same spiritual leaning I mentioned before, I've been able to really see my mind/identify as totally separate from my body...

    It's a bit of an Eastern spiritual thing, but now I truly see my body as just a vessel/vehicle for my mind. I have a brain, an identify, a 'soul' (if you wanna call it that), and my body is just this organic bundle of cells that shuttles it around. It's not 'good', 'bad', 'worse', 'better', at any particular size or weight... it's just a vessel that carries 'me' around.

    And so, if I'm not my body, it cannot dictate my worth... so, all I need to do, is treat my body in a way that will allow my MIND/SOUL to last and thrive for as long as possible.

    Sounds kind of woo-woo... but it's honestly how I think about it now. I just don't derive worth or meaning from how I look anymore.
    I can count this exact mentality as the only reason I'm still alive. I was an atheist before, but I had a NDE during a suicidal period in the midst of my anorexia and the worst days of my drinking issues and I've never been the same since. After years of breathwork and meditation, I've come to identify more and more what exactly my 'soul' is and how it's a separate entity from my body or what I do and don't accomplish. I still struggle really hard sometimes, but never quite in the same way knowing what I know now. I haven't even considered suicide as an option since I've gained this new awareness, and I view any ED mentalities as ghosts from the past. I almost died during my birth because my mother was anorexic, and she never even admitted she had it...not even now. My father and sister also have EDs (bulimia: but only my sister is diagnosed). These things are deeply rooted, so I think the only way through it for me is to connect with the deepest part of myself that's separate from my "programming", so to speak. I don't think that just applies to me though. I believe anybody with an ED has a deep-seated sense of shame & some form of trauma that they need to heal from. People don't starve for no reason, and it's certainly not "just" social messages or the desire to be lean.
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  12. #2742
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Strawng View Post
    I can count this exact mentality as the only reason I'm still alive. I was an atheist before, but I had a NDE during a suicidal period in the midst of my anorexia and the worst days of my drinking issues and I've never been the same since. After years of breathwork and meditation, I've come to identify more and more what exactly my 'soul' is and how it's a separate entity from my body or what I do and don't accomplish. I still struggle really hard sometimes, but never quite in the same way knowing what I know now. I haven't even considered suicide as an option since I've gained this new awareness, and I view any ED mentalities as ghosts from the past. I almost died during my birth because my mother was anorexic, and she never even admitted she had it...not even now. My father and sister also have EDs (bulimia: but only my sister is diagnosed). These things are deeply rooted, so I think the only way through it for me is to connect with the deepest part of myself that's separate from my "programming", so to speak. I don't think that just applies to me though. I believe anybody with an ED has a deep-seated sense of shame & some form of trauma that they need to heal from. People don't starve for no reason, and it's certainly not "just" social messages or the desire to be lean.
    LOL wtf... why does the quote say "DutchieM" instead of my user name?


    I completely agree on the shame point tho... I also struggle with imposter syndrome and other self-deprecating beliefs to this day which I have to work hard to manage.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  13. #2743
    Registered User Strawng's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    LOL wtf... why does the quote say "DutchieM" instead of my user name?


    I completely agree on the shame point tho... I also struggle with imposter syndrome and other self-deprecating beliefs to this day which I have to work hard to manage.
    LOL, DutchieM?! I mean, wtf? hahaha

    Also, yes. I've found that sitting with my emotional sensations of shame makes me want to physically hurt myself. Recovery is about accepting the shame and not running from it. The starvation and exercise help us cope with shame because because physical pain blocks it out. The brain experiences physical pain and shame in the same region, and studies show that physical pain actually mitigates emotional pain from feelings of shame and guilt: https://www.scientificamerican.com/a...lessens-guilt/. Throw in the fact that ED behaviors in themselves (like all addictions) are shameful ways at coping with shame, and you've got yourself a self-feeding cycle that's a recipe for disaster...not to use too many food metaphors.
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  14. #2744
    Registered User stevowrock's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thegymbum View Post
    Just throwing this out there: please get a covid test as soon as you can, preferably before going to the gym again. I’ve found that a large percentage of patients who test positive present with symptoms similar to what you’re describing, yet don’t have any of the traditional symptoms such as a cough. Probably the most common symptom is loss of appetite, and fatigue is an issue with the vast majority of covid cases. Best to be safe and check into it!
    thanks for replying!
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  15. #2745
    Registered User stevowrock's Avatar
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    ok guys. im losing weight because im not hungry. did you guys eat even if not hungry? does it mean it could be that im at a normal weight and my body is ok with what it got? im around 159 and 6’

    i do overthink a lot and that can impact my hunger i think
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  16. #2746
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stevowrock View Post
    ok guys. im losing weight because im not hungry. did you guys eat even if not hungry? does it mean it could be that im at a normal weight and my body is ok with what it got? im around 159 and 6’

    i do overthink a lot and that can impact my hunger i think
    Do you have an eating disorder, or just low appetite?
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  17. #2747
    Registered User zatanoa's Avatar
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    1 full year and 9 days since the last time I binged and purged or overate over my plan

    Plenty of mistakes made but have learned so much as well, completely forgot this, time really flies when you have fun
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  18. #2748
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Do you have an eating disorder, or just low appetite?
    both
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  19. #2749
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stevowrock View Post
    both
    Then yes, before my normal hunger came back, I force fed
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  20. #2750
    Registered User stevowrock's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Then yes, before my normal hunger came back, I force fed
    thanks for replying!
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  21. #2751
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stevowrock View Post
    thanks for replying!
    Just to be clear tho, I don’t mean purposefully making myself sick, I mean forcing myself to face uncomfortable decisions like eating simply based on cravings, random inkling of food thoughts, and even if I wasn’t hungry if I knew I didn’t have enough, I would ensure I got it in.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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    Registered User Grappa's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thegymbum View Post
    Just popping in for a quick catch up and hopefully a little relapse prevention. It’s been so long since I’ve been on these boards at all, especially in this forum. I doubt anyone remembers me since it’s been many years, though I look forward to meeting anyone new

    I’ve been in recovery from severe anorexia for a few years now, and finally took the leap from swearing I was “recovered” but maintaining a “happy medium”, still underweight BMI and overexercising like crazy, to finally getting to a healthy weight and being OK with it and cutting back on exercise. I held out for a while.

    Now for some reason the body image aspect has really flared up. I’ve done so much damage to my body that working out more and getting to peak leanness without losing weight/sacrificing recovery is out of the question, to its making it hard for me to accept being at a healthy weight. Wondering if anyone can relate to this? I’m sure I’m not alone. I would love to stick with the balance I had achieved, but with chronic injuries and damage from anorexia piled up high, it’s hard to train enough to be really fit at a healthy weight and it’s hard mentally......
    I also remember you
    Listen, the damage what you do during an ED especially ana, is irreversible, both in males in females, s a female you risk that you ll ever gonna be able to bear a child, for us males, the risk is the same cuz we can **** up the testosterone levels in our body so much that we are unable to even get things up for our entire life. All i can say, "balance" is the viewpoint what you can identify as a person. Ana is all about control, your mind thrives about it, that is why calorie counting is a warm blanket for us. We will turn to this if we are triggered and not balanced. " Your body is the reflection of your soul" Best advice what i have gotten so far. And it is legit. I am not saying that fitness is not great or bs in any means. If you see that part of your life as an enhancement not a must, things will going to change in your mind. Cuz i know, the biggest battle you ll ever going to deal with is yourself, your mind yourn whole perspective on how you look, how should i be please other but this things are bs. You should count on yourself at any time. Hope this lines could bring some relief to you, and understand this problem exists only cuz u view the wolr in a perfectionist way. We are not perfect, we should not be perfect, mistakes can be made, and we can learn a lot from it
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