Eating Disorder Support Thread: "Take Action" (part 3)

[Grappa]

Yea wow triggered much right now I eat and puke cause my body feels like it can’t take any calories without expending them like I used to, and as far as being shredded bro skinny ain’t shredded!... I was a kind of a big deal model when I didn’t eat and or/puked and it’s sad that’s what Americans consider beautiful! I will pray for you babe even if your fine eating once a day that’s not considered disordered and please don’t “fat” bash!

First of all, calm down. Think rationally what are you doing to your body right now. You are damaging your teeth, and half of your gastrointestinal tract, what can result in : teeth decay, loss of teeth, cancer in your mouth, or throat, sudden heart failure cuz of the dehydration/loss of electrolites. Seek, help, reach out and find PROFESSIONAL help. And do not follow the narcississtic dip**** society's false demands for w/e perfect body / skin and bones appearance . Take care

[paradsecar]

Hello all. I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but I am struggling with nutrition and my wonderful(ly inadequate) health insurance seems to cover everything but dietitians, so I thought I might try here. Here are some of my general stats and I'll get into what my issue is (my wife thinks I have orthorexia):

I am 39, 6"1, and 150 lbs. I have always been a tall, skinny dude...even before I ate well and barely exercised I was certainly not overweight. A few years ago I decided to get into fitness because...I wanted something to do? A goal to chase? Not really sure, but I got into it gradually and now it's ramped up to an obsession. My workout routine consists of a hybrid of P90x, P90x2, P90x3 3 days a week (using a weighted vest for most exercises like pull-ups, push-ups, etc and ankle weights for ab workouts) and Insanity / Insanity Max 30 3 days a week, with one "active recovery day" on Sunday (usually stretching, yoga, etc). I do this every week (although I have starting taking a rest week every 12 weeks or so recently to help with exhaustion).

I feel this is a pretty good way to stay in shape, but my biggest issue is the food / nutrition part of it. While my strength is better (as measured by pull-up/push-up reps, endurance, weight heaviness and reps, etc) I am not gaining any weight. I have become so obsessed with my diet that I have completely 100% cut out all desert foods, alcohol, caffeine (anything other than water and a bit of milk, actually)...basically anything that isn't a "whole food" other than a protein shake and bar that I have once a day. I have become so obsessed with eating clean that I will literally run to the grocery store if my wife cooks pasta that isn't whole grain or makes food that I consider to be "unhealthy". I know deep down I need to eat more, but eating clean is so restrictive that I feel like my goal of gaining muscle mass without fat is not going anywhere. Furthermore, I have started to hate food and have a terrible relationship with it and my exercise, where I feel like I need to be MORE restrictive since I am not hitting my fitness goals. I saw there is an eating disorder called orthorexia that might be my problem. Has anyone else had experience with this or have any suggestions for me? Maybe my workout isn't enough to really gain a lot of muscle or I've hit some "genetic potential" and I should just be happy that I am kinda skinny and just eat what makes me happy?

[AdamWW]

Here is a fascinating article talking about why anorexics often do not feel 'as sick' as they actually are:

https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr04/anorexia.aspx

[PlantBased1969]

Hello all. I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but I am struggling with nutrition and my wonderful(ly inadequate) health insurance seems to cover everything but dietitians, so I thought I might try here. Here are some of my general stats and I'll get into what my issue is (my wife thinks I have orthorexia):

I am 39, 6"1, and 150 lbs. I have always been a tall, skinny dude...even before I ate well and barely exercised I was certainly not overweight. A few years ago I decided to get into fitness because...I wanted something to do? A goal to chase? Not really sure, but I got into it gradually and now it's ramped up to an obsession. My workout routine consists of a hybrid of P90x, P90x2, P90x3 3 days a week (using a weighted vest for most exercises like pull-ups, push-ups, etc and ankle weights for ab workouts) and Insanity / Insanity Max 30 3 days a week, with one "active recovery day" on Sunday (usually stretching, yoga, etc). I do this every week (although I have starting taking a rest week every 12 weeks or so recently to help with exhaustion).

I feel this is a pretty good way to stay in shape, but my biggest issue is the food / nutrition part of it. While my strength is better (as measured by pull-up/push-up reps, endurance, weight heaviness and reps, etc) I am not gaining any weight. I have become so obsessed with my diet that I have completely 100% cut out all desert foods, alcohol, caffeine (anything other than water and a bit of milk, actually)...basically anything that isn't a "whole food" other than a protein shake and bar that I have once a day. I have become so obsessed with eating clean that I will literally run to the grocery store if my wife cooks pasta that isn't whole grain or makes food that I consider to be "unhealthy". I know deep down I need to eat more, but eating clean is so restrictive that I feel like my goal of gaining muscle mass without fat is not going anywhere. Furthermore, I have started to hate food and have a terrible relationship with it and my exercise, where I feel like I need to be MORE restrictive since I am not hitting my fitness goals. I saw there is an eating disorder called orthorexia that might be my problem. Has anyone else had experience with this or have any suggestions for me? Maybe my workout isn't enough to really gain a lot of muscle or I've hit some "genetic potential" and I should just be happy that I am kinda skinny and just eat what makes me happy?

Hello. I have a slight variation of Orthorexia. Only, in that I like to eat healthy so I can optimize my health. I think it is normal to want to be as healthy as possible and 'obsession' is sort of relative. Someone can spend a great deal of time and effort trying to figure out what are the best food to eat, quantity, timing, etc., possibly because we live in a world where junk food rules, toxic processed foodstuff is everywhere, commercial on TV brainwash us to 'sin' by eating unhealthy 'fun' stuff, etc. Therefore it takes effort and will power to 'fight back' and try to make the better food choices. It also take re-educating ourselves.

However there is also OBSESSIVE, which is most likely NOT related to food, per say, but an emotional/spiritual disharmony. I don't really know what the root cause of these sort of emotional/spiritual dis-harmonies are, only the person living them can possible figure it out. I do know that sometimes it can be caused by childhood trauma. For example, someone growing up in a really poor family that never gets enough to eat can possibly overeat and an adult, a child being physically abused can reproduce the abuse by injuring themselves as an adult, and so on.

In my case, I obsess over trying to be healthy, because I know that I'm living in a corrupt world where 'forces' are conspiring to make me unhealthy. This could be the sugar industry, the fast food industry, etc., who think only of profit ($) and try to make people consume as much of their products no matter the disastrous health consequences. And so, I've decided to go to war against these 'forces' and reclaim my health --> have greater will power and self-determine. 'Sticking it to the man' makes me feel proud. Having said that, I don't make myself emotionally sick over it, because this would be counterproductive. I go with the flow and try to 'make the next best decision' and not kid myself. I'm not seeking perfection -> as they say "it is the journey, not the destination".

So the question is 'why are obsessing' over stuff? And also, do you think your obsession over your exercise regime and food can have negative consequences? If so what are these consequences?

I also mentioned 'will power'. It takes will power to exercise like crazy, but it also takes will power to know when to balance things off in our lives. Sometimes we get 'possessed', so to speak. When we are 'possessed' we are not willing our own will. I know that sounds a bit crazy, but we really need to ask ourselves 'who is willing our will'?

I met a guy once who told me that he couldn't stop watching porn on the Internet. He told me that he felt possessed. Well... It really got me thinking. Because I used to be a raging alcoholic and I also felt like I was possessed - completely out of control - that I had literally ZERO (0) will power and couldn't stop drinking. I told the guy who was addicted to porn that he was going to have to engage in a spiritual battle and really want to win the fight. That he needed to WANT to win the find and find reasons WHY he needed to win. For myself, I did engage in a battle and finally succeeded --> I've been completely sober since. The reason why I won the fight is because I wanted to reclaim my life back, I knew that I was not willing my will and that scared the sh*t out of me. I knew that the drinking was going to kill me. It became a spiritual thing.

You asked "Maybe my workout isn't enough to really gain a lot of muscle or I've hit some "genetic potential" and I should just be happy that I am kinda skinny and just eat what makes me happy?" I my intuition is telling me that gaining muscle mass is not the problem. That hitting you genetic potential is not the problem. That being skinny is not the problem. Giving up and eating whatever is nonsensical, and you know that.

Only you can figure out why you are OBSESSED and have relationship issues with food and exercise, and possible other aspects. Eating good wholesome food is a great thing. Exercise is a great thing. The devil is in the details, as they say (pun intended, although I'm not even a religious person; I just think the analogy and concepts are fitting). I'm no expert, but my personal experience suggest that LOVE (i.e.a lack of) is involved and that the solution is spiritual (i.e. have nothing to do with carbs, protein, weights, etc.).

The good news is that you care enough to be seeking solution. This is a good sign

[letsallmakeit]

is this how body dysmorphia and anorexia works? im 6’3” weight 154 and ever since i upped my calories to 3k from 2.8 k i feel more full, fat in the stomach. this is me in the morning today https://imgur.com/a/Es2oROc

this was me months ago

https://imgur.com/a/Y7hyUtw

i feel right now fatter than before and more fluffy in my mid section area is this anorexia?

[Nate118]

is this how body dysmorphia and anorexia works? im 6’3” weight 154 and ever since i upped my calories to 3k from 2.8 k i feel more full, fat in the stomach. this is me in the morning today https://imgur.com/a/Es2oROc

this was me months ago

https://imgur.com/a/Y7hyUtw

i feel right now fatter than before and more fluffy in my mid section area is this anorexia?

This is a late response but I'll answer anyway.

I would suggest that there is some body dysmorphia at play. You really shouldn't feel like you are fat or fluffy at all. The fluffy feeling in your midsection is probably just water retention from the extra food you are eating, not fat. Your stats are thankfully not at the stage of anorexia, but I would certainly suggest gaining.

[letsallmakeit]

This is a late response but I'll answer anyway.

I would suggest that there is some body dysmorphia at play. You really shouldn't feel like you are fat or fluffy at all. The fluffy feeling in your midsection is probably just water retention from the extra food you are eating, not fat. Your stats are thankfully not at the stage of anorexia, but I would certainly suggest gaining.

thanks mate

[SuperHippo]

is this how body dysmorphia and anorexia works? im 6’3” weight 154 and ever since i upped my calories to 3k from 2.8 k i feel more full, fat in the stomach. this is me in the morning today https://imgur.com/a/Es2oROc

this was me months ago

https://imgur.com/a/Y7hyUtw

i feel right now fatter than before and more fluffy in my mid section area is this anorexia?

You look exactly the same to me, you might even look leaner now (you have a bicep vein in the most recent image). When you add calories , you are atiing more carbs/sodium which will make you retain water (its not fat)

[AdamWW]

is this how body dysmorphia and anorexia works? im 6’3” weight 154 and ever since i upped my calories to 3k from 2.8 k i feel more full, fat in the stomach. this is me in the morning today https://imgur.com/a/Es2oROc

this was me months ago

https://imgur.com/a/Y7hyUtw

i feel right now fatter than before and more fluffy in my mid section area is this anorexia?

If exercise or food is negatively impacting your mood or your life, it's a problem.

Live for experiences, not an appearance.

[Grappa]

is this how body dysmorphia and anorexia works? im 6’3” weight 154 and ever since i upped my calories to 3k from 2.8 k i feel more full, fat in the stomach. this is me in the morning today https://imgur.com/a/Es2oROc

this was me months ago

https://imgur.com/a/Y7hyUtw

i feel right now fatter than before and more fluffy in my mid section area is this anorexia?

You are talking about 2 more bananas a day dude. But as Nate suggested u should gain weight, and you have to eat waaay more than that if u lift cuz u are really tall. Do not even give a fk about your mid section, focus on your life or your progress in the gym.

[letsallmakeit]

thanks guys. you guys motivated me to get going. i was starting to spin my wheels but as you guys said, its probably from higher carb/cals intake making me bloat

[AdamWW]

thanks guys. you guys motivated me to get going. i was starting to spin my wheels but as you guys said, its probably from higher carb/cals intake making me bloat

Dude you think you bloat? Believe me, we ALL do, especially when we're re-feeding after starvation periods.

You should see my gut at the end of the day.

[letsallmakeit]

Dude you think you bloat? Believe me, we ALL do, especially when we're re-feeding after starvation periods.

You should see my gut at the end of the day.

o no no i know we bloat but as soon as i up calories and carbs my pants usually gets tighter. thats mostly what i ask.

[AdamWW]

o no no i know we bloat but as soon as i up calories and carbs my pants usually gets tighter. thats mostly what i ask.

happens to us all ;o)