First of all, calm down. Think rationally what are you doing to your body right now. You are damaging your teeth, and half of your gastrointestinal tract, what can result in : teeth decay, loss of teeth, cancer in your mouth, or throat, sudden heart failure cuz of the dehydration/loss of electrolites. Seek, help, reach out and find PROFESSIONAL help. And do not follow the narcississtic dip**** society's false demands for w/e perfect body / skin and bones appearance . Take care
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10-03-2018, 04:35 AM #2101
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10-03-2018, 03:13 PM #2102
Hello all. I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but I am struggling with nutrition and my wonderful(ly inadequate) health insurance seems to cover everything but dietitians, so I thought I might try here. Here are some of my general stats and I'll get into what my issue is (my wife thinks I have orthorexia):
I am 39, 6"1, and 150 lbs. I have always been a tall, skinny dude...even before I ate well and barely exercised I was certainly not overweight. A few years ago I decided to get into fitness because...I wanted something to do? A goal to chase? Not really sure, but I got into it gradually and now it's ramped up to an obsession. My workout routine consists of a hybrid of P90x, P90x2, P90x3 3 days a week (using a weighted vest for most exercises like pull-ups, push-ups, etc and ankle weights for ab workouts) and Insanity / Insanity Max 30 3 days a week, with one "active recovery day" on Sunday (usually stretching, yoga, etc). I do this every week (although I have starting taking a rest week every 12 weeks or so recently to help with exhaustion).
I feel this is a pretty good way to stay in shape, but my biggest issue is the food / nutrition part of it. While my strength is better (as measured by pull-up/push-up reps, endurance, weight heaviness and reps, etc) I am not gaining any weight. I have become so obsessed with my diet that I have completely 100% cut out all desert foods, alcohol, caffeine (anything other than water and a bit of milk, actually)...basically anything that isn't a "whole food" other than a protein shake and bar that I have once a day. I have become so obsessed with eating clean that I will literally run to the grocery store if my wife cooks pasta that isn't whole grain or makes food that I consider to be "unhealthy". I know deep down I need to eat more, but eating clean is so restrictive that I feel like my goal of gaining muscle mass without fat is not going anywhere. Furthermore, I have started to hate food and have a terrible relationship with it and my exercise, where I feel like I need to be MORE restrictive since I am not hitting my fitness goals. I saw there is an eating disorder called orthorexia that might be my problem. Has anyone else had experience with this or have any suggestions for me? Maybe my workout isn't enough to really gain a lot of muscle or I've hit some "genetic potential" and I should just be happy that I am kinda skinny and just eat what makes me happy?
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10-15-2018, 04:23 PM #2103
- Join Date: Mar 2006
- Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
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Here is a fascinating article talking about why anorexics often do not feel 'as sick' as they actually are:
https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr04/anorexia.aspxWhy live a 'good' life when you could live an EPIC life?
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10-16-2018, 09:22 PM #2104
Hello. I have a slight variation of Orthorexia. Only, in that I like to eat healthy so I can optimize my health. I think it is normal to want to be as healthy as possible and 'obsession' is sort of relative. Someone can spend a great deal of time and effort trying to figure out what are the best food to eat, quantity, timing, etc., possibly because we live in a world where junk food rules, toxic processed foodstuff is everywhere, commercial on TV brainwash us to 'sin' by eating unhealthy 'fun' stuff, etc. Therefore it takes effort and will power to 'fight back' and try to make the better food choices. It also take re-educating ourselves.
However there is also OBSESSIVE, which is most likely NOT related to food, per say, but an emotional/spiritual disharmony. I don't really know what the root cause of these sort of emotional/spiritual dis-harmonies are, only the person living them can possible figure it out. I do know that sometimes it can be caused by childhood trauma. For example, someone growing up in a really poor family that never gets enough to eat can possibly overeat and an adult, a child being physically abused can reproduce the abuse by injuring themselves as an adult, and so on.
In my case, I obsess over trying to be healthy, because I know that I'm living in a corrupt world where 'forces' are conspiring to make me unhealthy. This could be the sugar industry, the fast food industry, etc., who think only of profit ($) and try to make people consume as much of their products no matter the disastrous health consequences. And so, I've decided to go to war against these 'forces' and reclaim my health --> have greater will power and self-determine. 'Sticking it to the man' makes me feel proud. Having said that, I don't make myself emotionally sick over it, because this would be counterproductive. I go with the flow and try to 'make the next best decision' and not kid myself. I'm not seeking perfection -> as they say "it is the journey, not the destination".
So the question is 'why are obsessing' over stuff? And also, do you think your obsession over your exercise regime and food can have negative consequences? If so what are these consequences?
I also mentioned 'will power'. It takes will power to exercise like crazy, but it also takes will power to know when to balance things off in our lives. Sometimes we get 'possessed', so to speak. When we are 'possessed' we are not willing our own will. I know that sounds a bit crazy, but we really need to ask ourselves 'who is willing our will'?
I met a guy once who told me that he couldn't stop watching porn on the Internet. He told me that he felt possessed. Well... It really got me thinking. Because I used to be a raging alcoholic and I also felt like I was possessed - completely out of control - that I had literally ZERO (0) will power and couldn't stop drinking. I told the guy who was addicted to porn that he was going to have to engage in a spiritual battle and really want to win the fight. That he needed to WANT to win the find and find reasons WHY he needed to win. For myself, I did engage in a battle and finally succeeded --> I've been completely sober since. The reason why I won the fight is because I wanted to reclaim my life back, I knew that I was not willing my will and that scared the sh*t out of me. I knew that the drinking was going to kill me. It became a spiritual thing.
You asked "Maybe my workout isn't enough to really gain a lot of muscle or I've hit some "genetic potential" and I should just be happy that I am kinda skinny and just eat what makes me happy?" I my intuition is telling me that gaining muscle mass is not the problem. That hitting you genetic potential is not the problem. That being skinny is not the problem. Giving up and eating whatever is nonsensical, and you know that.
Only you can figure out why you are OBSESSED and have relationship issues with food and exercise, and possible other aspects. Eating good wholesome food is a great thing. Exercise is a great thing. The devil is in the details, as they say (pun intended, although I'm not even a religious person; I just think the analogy and concepts are fitting). I'm no expert, but my personal experience suggest that LOVE (i.e.a lack of) is involved and that the solution is spiritual (i.e. have nothing to do with carbs, protein, weights, etc.).
The good news is that you care enough to be seeking solution. This is a good sign
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10-24-2018, 11:41 AM #2105
is this how body dysmorphia and anorexia works? im 6’3” weight 154 and ever since i upped my calories to 3k from 2.8 k i feel more full, fat in the stomach. this is me in the morning today https://imgur.com/a/Es2oROc
this was me months ago
https://imgur.com/a/Y7hyUtw
i feel right now fatter than before and more fluffy in my mid section areais this anorexia?
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11-16-2018, 04:22 AM #2106
This is a late response but I'll answer anyway.
I would suggest that there is some body dysmorphia at play. You really shouldn't feel like you are fat or fluffy at all. The fluffy feeling in your midsection is probably just water retention from the extra food you are eating, not fat. Your stats are thankfully not at the stage of anorexia, but I would certainly suggest gaining.My log: "Nate's Lifting Log - Anorexia Recovery"
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170993161&p=1433685001
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11-19-2018, 10:59 AM #2107
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11-19-2018, 03:49 PM #2108
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11-19-2018, 04:04 PM #2109
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11-27-2018, 10:05 AM #2110
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11-28-2018, 09:27 AM #2111
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11-28-2018, 10:18 AM #2112
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11-28-2018, 12:09 PM #2113
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11-28-2018, 01:35 PM #2114
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12-14-2018, 09:26 AM #2115
It a struggle
It does happen to all of us and as a male how has been struggling with excessive exercise and restriction there is honestly only one way to over come it. well, therapy, eating disorder based dietitian ( not a sport or regular dietitian) abstinence from inter-fearing behaviors. I can say this with confidence, it will be hard in the beginning but the more you can continuously break the cycle the easier it becomes, you will start to find the real you.
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12-22-2018, 07:13 PM #2116
What’s up peps? So here I am again. I am lost again. My stomach is fed up almost with all foods. I am seriously considering going to the doctor to ask for a dna genetic test to see which macros will be appropriate based on blood testing.
Distraction is an obstruction for the construction.
The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultraviolence.
Kakarot!
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12-22-2018, 07:31 PM #2117
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12-22-2018, 10:18 PM #2118
Seriously whatever I want. For a while I have been trying to eat foods that agree with me but I either get bored super quick, become hypersensitive to foods or appetite is inconsistent due to a number of reasons. And I was planing on taking an extreme step in the direction of a raw carnivore diet but idk if I should try a vegan diet again. Reconsidering as I don’t care much for protein powders and I am not big on beans, I eat beans once in a blue moon.
Just SO very tired and pissed off and I hate wasting time. I am hoping a genetic medical test will reveal a gasrtrology panel and which type of diet I should be eating along with macros for MY system versus “some online calculation”.Distraction is an obstruction for the construction.
The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultraviolence.
Kakarot!
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12-23-2018, 11:43 AM #2119
- Join Date: Mar 2006
- Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
- Posts: 14,989
- Rep Power: 67985
You should not do 'diets' in recovery.
What KINDS of foods are you eating? Are you eating tons of fiber, veggies, etc? If so, you should avoid foods like that because they can be difficult to digest. I would recommend trying more rice-based carbs and getting more fats as opposed to tons of protein/carbs, unless the carbs are less high in fiber.
You can also try different meal sizes, etc.Why live a 'good' life when you could live an EPIC life?
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12-23-2018, 12:35 PM #2120
sorry to hijack but now that im trying to recover im actually adding stuff that i was afraid of eating. i went from almost 0 sugar to full 80 sugar in one sitting from veggies and a lot of fruits watching this makes me go nuts because im scared it might impact fitness goals, health. but i will eventually beat this and expand to oreos and not just fruits
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12-23-2018, 03:43 PM #2121
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12-23-2018, 09:15 PM #2122
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12-29-2018, 12:47 AM #2123
I'm 14 and am recovering for an eating disorder and just as I thought my hormones were returning to normal after one leg day I felt very nauseous like I had food poisoning even though I didn't so I just tried to sleep it off with usually works but for the past couple weeks I still get motion sick and my libido, testosterone, and will to live has plummeted and my strength gains and facial hair growth have stopped I can't think of any reason for this to be since I work out 5 times a week eat very healthy and get lots of sleep since it's winter break and im getting blood work done next week but am still worried that something is wrong
Last edited by LomboL; 12-29-2018 at 01:00 AM.
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12-31-2018, 02:43 PM #2124
When will I want to eat food again?
TLDR: I guess im just chasing the high of being leaner and leaner and I’m losing touch with reality more and more the longer this goes on. I keep pushing myself to eat less and less to finally get to the point where I feel weak enough to want to eat again, but that point just is not coming and I see no end in sight. At what point will I feel like I want to eat again? I just wanted to get in a lil better shape, now 2.5 years later food has ceased to be enjoyable at all, im WAY smaller than I even wanted or intended to be, and I have no idea what to do next.
Male, 30, 5’6” 125 lbs, everyone I ask tells me I’m single digit BF%. I’m very lean and cut,
Got up to 170lbs and started weight loss in fall of 2016, was able to get down to 120lbs by sep 2018.
Struggled at times but was able to get out of the weight loss period with a positive mental state, I felt like I deserved and wanted to eat a normal amount. Increased my diet by about 500 cals a day, gave up watching the scale, continued to exercise HARD (I bike 90 min per day with pullups/pushups/planks mixed in 365 days a year with no exceptions besides injury cases) I was too apprehensive to limit the exercise and THANK GOD I did not let up on that.
In about 2 months I skyrocketed up to like 133, which rocked me psychologically. Initially it felt great, for the first time in years I did not feel diminished mentally due to lack of nutrients. It felt great to not have to watch the scale all the time. It felt great to be able to have like an apple if I felt hungry instead of forcing myself to suffer through the hunger. I read all these articles about trusting your body, and about how the scale watching is bad, and about how I deserved to eat like a normal person (I already have completely cut breakfast out of my life, have not eaten it in well over a year now) I’m honestly shaken and have lost all my confidence and positivity I had build up over the last 2+ years. How the hell did I gain that much so fast while still doing cardio 90 min per day as hard as I possibly can? I basically only added one 500 cal snack to my diet and changed nothing else. Its not like im being lazy I’m up at 5am biking 90 min every single ****ing day hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of days in a row now. Im terrified to think about how fat I would be if I I had only been doing 60 min a day this whole time. I know now that I cannot just “trust my body”, I cannot remove the scale watching, and I don’t ever deserve/need to feel fully nourished.
I’ve become so accustomed to being hungry that I don’t even really know what hunger means anymore. I can’t really tell when I am or am not hungry, I keep trying to tell myself that I deserve to eat and feel good but Im spiraling now and am eating even less than when I was trying to lose weight. I’ve got no goals or direction driving me other than the fear of gaining weight and the addiction to feeling lean. skipping meals seems to have no effect on my mood or energy. I will skip eating, and will think to myself, ok this is finally the time I will regret skipping and wish that I had eaten, but every single time I do it, literally nothing bad happens, if anything I just feel leaner and happy that I skipped in the first place. Its like my brain doesn’t register the lack of nutrition anymore. I used to feel awful the next day after skipping eating, and now It’s like I barely even notice what happened. If im just going to be totally fine no matter how little I eat, why even eat at all anymore?
I used to LOVE feeling full and nourished, but now not only do I HATE feeling full, but it’s gotten to the point that just the absence of hunger makes me uncomfortable. I’ll fast for like 24hrs and be so hungry then finally allow myself to eat, ill make a nice full meaL, not too big, ill eat until I don’t feel desperately hungry, maybe like 1/3 of the meal I made, then start to panic and will impulsively throw the rest of the food away in the trash so that I cant change my mind and eat more later.
I guess im just chasing the high of being leaner and leaner and I’m losing touch with reality more and more the longer this goes on. I keep pushing myself to eat less and less to finally get to the point where I feel weak enough to want to eat again, but that point just is not coming and I see no end in sight. At what point will I feel like I want to eat again? I just wanted to get in a lil better shape, now 2.5 years later food has ceased to be enjoyable at all, im WAY smaller than I even wanted or intended to be, and I have no idea what to do next.
However, On top of all this I ****ing LOVE feeling lean, it’s the most incredible high you can imagine, my whole perception of reality has changed, im so light and I work out so much that im really strong on top of it, physically I feel like a legit super hero like I could run for an infinite amount of time and never get tired, my muscles have so little weight to move around, my whole life feels like that moment when you take a donut off of your baseball bat and swinging it is effortless.
I really needed to express all of these thoughts, I don’t expect anyone to read or reply to this much info, not really sure what to do going forward, just lost right now…
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12-31-2018, 07:23 PM #2125
- Join Date: Mar 2006
- Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
- Posts: 14,989
- Rep Power: 67985
I'll answer the basic hunger question and give some general advice, but know that I did read the whole post.
First off, you've conditioned yourself to withstand hunger.
Hunger is something that varies in terms of sensation from person to person... some people feel actual PAIN from hunger, others get tired, while some get dizzy, etc. Hormones such as leptin and grehlin also regulate hunger and satiety in their own ways, so as you can see there are many ways to experience this.
On top of that, you've essentially trained your brain to detach certain experiences and feelings from requiring more foods, etc, building on a number of feedback loops which, in times of starvation, are likely helpful (if a human was starving in the wild, it'd be an evolutionary benefit to not feel hunger... you'd be able to press on for longer than other people), but in modern day and in your situation it's not serving to your benefit... rather, it is controlling your life.
You've also clearly developed a reliance on 'leanness' to feel adequate and valuable to the world, so there is a strong ego-driven and psychological impact.
In short: you've hit the disordered eating/body image process from all angles.
I know this sounds simplistic, but my advice is that you need to take some big steps:
- Consciously identify when and where you are using food to control your body, STOP those actions.
- Accept that, although you cannot clearly accept feelings of hunger, you can still eat IF YOU CHOOSE TO
- You may need to stop exercising entirely until you can decouple your food intake, bodyimage, and exercise
The biggest factor here is the food. At a base level, even if you don't 'know' if you're hungry, I can bet you anything that IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT FOOD, YOU ARE HUNGRY. This includes simply pondering the question of 'is this feeling actually hunger?'. The answer for you is always 'yes'. This has to be the case until you get to a point where you know, definitively and WITHOUT WONDERING, if you're hungry. It's really the only way.
Your body and brain and functioning as though you're in a situation of energy scarcity, and I mean that on a physical and mental level. The only way to shake the problem is to make food not scarce... so, you need to eat, even if you don't feel 100% sure what the feeling is.
Also, because you've so closely tied exercise to a 'look' instead of a 'feeling' of health and wellness, exercise will only serve as a purging method for eating more food. You cannot rewire your brain to understand true hunger if you just burn off the calories you consume... that defeats the purpose.
If you cannot tackle this on your own, please do seek professional help.Why live a 'good' life when you could live an EPIC life?
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12-31-2018, 07:42 PM #2126
@Shtoops
Okay, there's a lot here. But I'll try to answer as much of it as I can.
Research into eating disorders has found that in order to beat it, you need weight restoration. If I were 5'6" I wouldn't want to be anything less than 140lbs. Once you reach weight restoration, the eating disorder can finally be effectively addressed.
I highly advocate taking immediate steps to remove destructive behaviours such as exercise compulsion and other disordered eating patterns. Eventually, eliminate them completely e.g. the cardio, the meal skipping, the calorie counting. However, the first thing you need is weight gain. The initial increase in weight is mostly water weight. Trust me.
Restrictive eating disorders are such a difficult cycle to break. Every time you restrict food, it feels good in the short term. But in the long term, your baseline levels of happiness decline. Pretty much everyone copes with this decline by further restricting food and the cycle continues.
You'll see the opposite when you switch to gaining weight. It will be painful in the short term, but you’ll be happier in the long term. And that is when you can enjoy eating again. If you can’t let go of being lean, the eating disorder will stick around and get stronger. Don’t let it. You will regret it. It’s a harsh reality. But you need this information because you deserve a better life.My log: "Nate's Lifting Log - Anorexia Recovery"
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170993161&p=1433685001
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01-16-2019, 05:44 PM #2127
anyone know if constant dieting and being almost underweight and had episodes of constant weight loss with little weight gain back could cause hormonal issues? any experience?
my experience is im 6’2” 153 suffering from hormonal issues (testosterone and many other hormones) trying to recover maybe by weight gain but im still dealing with body image and counting calories which i reduce but still havent eliminate it. i even reduced gym days to full body and no cardio (or 1 day if i feel like it) people say i cannot stop going to the gym because it helps with test and my mental issues. but i wonder if what if im overtraining doing full body and its causing my hormonal problems? should i stop training? i also have been dealing with hunger and sometimes avoid it. i crave a lot of fruits but i dont eat too much because sugar might actually lower test. this is also keeping me out from enjoying sugary foods ;( i sometimes hit 100 grams of sugar from natural sources and feel badLast edited by letsallmakeit; 01-16-2019 at 05:58 PM.
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01-16-2019, 05:58 PM #2128
@letsallmakeit
I've absolutely experienced terrible hormonal & even immune issues from exercise/restriction. Also, at your BMI (particularly as you're a lifter), it is quite unlikely that your hormones have had even the slightest chance to recover. Hormones, unfortunately, are some of the last things to right themselves in men with EDs. I strongly recommend you see a doctor & endocrinologist, preferably one that has experience with eating disorders.
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01-16-2019, 06:04 PM #2129
- Join Date: Mar 2006
- Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
- Posts: 14,989
- Rep Power: 67985
Fruit will not hurt your test... eat it, it's awesome.
In addition to strawng's feedback, you need to keep in mind that the typical concerns of 'every day' Americans/Westerners do not apply to your situation.
Whereas most people might be worse-off eating simple, refined, less-nutritious foods, a person in recovery does BETTER on these options because they are easier to process.
And if you're ever concerned with things like GI or insulin, also keep in mind that people who develop insulin issues later in life (not at birth, etc), incur such issues because they lack the required body composition or activity/leanness to 'clear' excess glucose and insulin from their systems. People in recovery are the opposite of this... your organs, tissues, muscles, are going to be hyper-sensitive to glucose and insulin because you have a constant supply of areas that NEED repair... so you will not end up developing a surplus of stagnant glucose or insulin in your system... it just doesn't happen. Issues arise in the common population because people just eat/drink table sugar are eat oily food at every meal and then don't move at all... a chronic state of excess nutrients just pooling in the blood.
That is not your situation.Why live a 'good' life when you could live an EPIC life?
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01-16-2019, 07:00 PM #2130
hello! first of all, thanks for taking your time to reply. i do however did not understood correctly the part you said” its highly unlikely your hormones have the chance to recover” are you saying theres a possibility that they can indeed recover if i manage weight gain? i have an appointment with one endo in two weeks.
sorry i forgot to say my english is not my main language
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