My thoughts are that you should never FORCE yourself to workout. Workout when you want, for how long you want.
It sounds like you're using the gym as a tool to justify eating, and not as a reason to feel good.
Exercise is good for people who are healthy and don't use it as a coping or control mechanism.
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05-03-2021, 09:27 AM #2851
- Join Date: Mar 2006
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"When I die, I hope it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day for no reason"
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05-09-2021, 12:42 PM #2852
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05-09-2021, 01:00 PM #2853
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05-13-2021, 07:35 AM #2854
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05-13-2021, 09:13 AM #2855
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05-21-2021, 10:46 AM #2856
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05-21-2021, 04:10 PM #2857
- Join Date: Mar 2006
- Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
- Posts: 26,949
- Rep Power: 137130
That's called body-checking.
I did intentionally stop that for a while, but now, I just don't care if it's there
I've gained a good amount of fat and water, and in time, i've simply learned it makes no difference.
If it's bothering you, then yes, avoiding grabbing/looking at/poking your stomach can be helpful until you're in a better mental place.
Eventually though, you have to learn to accept how you look.
It takes time, but honestly I don't care at all anymore... you'll get there."When I die, I hope it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day for no reason"
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05-24-2021, 10:16 PM #2858
thanks for replying!
also, thoughts in wanting to workout to eat more? even at a healthy weight I still have the mentality of wanting to workout to eat more. should I stop working out and eat what I want?
also, tbh I don’t enjoy the gym like I used too. I feel like forcing myself now.Last edited by stevowrock; 05-24-2021 at 10:25 PM.
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05-25-2021, 11:19 AM #2859
also, when gaining weight and managing an eating disorder, do you guys eat what you want even when feeling full or have eaten a lot already? I think im normal weight for my height (157 at 6’), but I decided today to go to the gym and see if I can do a bit of bulk. I have thoughts of controlling with I eat.
thoughts?
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05-25-2021, 03:02 PM #2860
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If you don't like going to the gym, don't go.
Your desire to workout to justify eating is a result of wanting to compensate for eating. It's basically exercise bulimia... you are trying to find excuses/reasons to eat beyond just WANTING or needing to do so.
You have permission to eat whatever you want, working out doesn't play a role.
I think you know what the answer here is.
It doesn't matter what you weigh, and 156 at 6-foot is still very light. Sure, it's 'normal' in BMI, but for someone who exercises it is still quite light.
Also, I don't think you should be concerning yourself with bodyweight. You're trying to fix an obsessions with being lean/light, etc, and you're tempted to control food.
The answer to all your questions is: if you want to eat FOR ANY REASON, it is your choice to eat. You don't need to ask for permission or workout to give yourself a reason to."When I die, I hope it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day for no reason"
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05-29-2021, 10:53 PM #2861
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06-06-2021, 04:20 PM #2862
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06-06-2021, 05:15 PM #2863
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06-09-2021, 06:21 PM #2864
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06-09-2021, 06:52 PM #2865
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06-12-2021, 12:15 PM #2866
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06-12-2021, 01:04 PM #2867
- Join Date: Mar 2006
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It's not really a matter of 'dealing with it'.
Most people who successfully recover from ED's do so via one of two routes:
1. They face the fear of eating and weight gain early, head-on, by simply eating whatever they want, gaining some weight, and reprogramming themselves to stop the fear response.
2. They delay facing the fear of eating, and continue to restrict for months/years/decades, and then eventually get so worn out by the misery of a life controlled by food restriction that they finally crack and start eating what they want.
The only difference is that option 1 means you don't have to waste years THINKING about getting better.
So, do you want to get better now? Or, do you want to waste years worrying about it?
The answer is always the same: just eatLast edited by AdamWW; 06-12-2021 at 04:58 PM.
"When I die, I hope it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day for no reason"
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06-12-2021, 06:45 PM #2868
You have a really good point here in terms of worn out by the misery of decades. I go on and off recovery, mostly because when I intuitively eat I become overweight (not by a large amount). Yet my labs are still healthy in terms of blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure.
But then I end up relapsing and feeling miserable again, and go back to just eating. It's a vicious cycle and my therapist works with me on body acceptance. It's really hard, especially in terms of dating as some men can be very critical.Make It a Great Day! Just call me Dusty. It's a Clown 🤡 World out there.
Christian Crew
Positivity Crew
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06-12-2021, 06:56 PM #2869
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06-13-2021, 06:50 AM #2870
so to add to what I said, I ate what I wanted even tho it was sedentary day, the thing is, today I had the urge to weight myself and weighted 1 pound more :S 159. I know I made the mistake of weighting myself, now I have anxiety and thoughts of eating less, but I will try to not let this get to me.
edit: I shouldn’t have weighted myself, but until when do you guys recommend to start weighting myself? I would like to bulk, but gaining weight and seeing numbers going up stresses me out.Last edited by stevowrock; 06-13-2021 at 07:01 AM.
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06-13-2021, 07:00 AM #2871
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06-15-2021, 06:54 AM #2872
it seems like something hard to manage. last time I weighted 158 something and this morning I saw myself in the mirror bloated and freaked out, then weighted myself and freaked out more. now my mind wants me to eat less today :/
thoughts?
should I eat what I desire even if i dont feel hungry?
also nice profile picture
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06-15-2021, 07:00 AM #2873
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06-16-2021, 07:24 PM #2874
hey guys, first time using this site but I heard that I could get some help (i hope im replying in the right place lol)
Long story short, I'm an underweight 17 year old with OCD and GAD who has struggled with an eating disorder for about 7 months now. When I was 13, I dropped from 126 to about 99 pounds at around 5'7 due to anorexia nervosa. For 3 and a half years after that, my weight fluctuated from 99-106 due to an EXTREMELY sedentary lifestyle and bad diet filled with processed ****. I ended up at 104 pounds, 5'9, and incredibly skinny fat which led to incredibly low self esteem and you know the drill. My blood work was normal, for some reason, which makes me believe that my body is just abnormally thin?
Anyway, I jumped from 104-126 after moving to a new country over the span of 5 months from constant overeating. Imagine being 5'9, 126 pounds (which is the very low point of normal) and being at around 23% body fat. It was terrible. I started extended fasting, which led to major food focus and eventually bulimia. A couple months of restricting, binging, and purging led me to being 110-115 (and getting normal results on blood work but low testosterone), tack on some excessive exercise and strict OCD eating rules and I hit 103 again.
My life started to become dictated by these eating rules. No more than 500 calories a meal. stay at 1600 calories every day. You have to either sprint or weight train. No sitting down because standing burns more calories. No standing still because fidgeting burns more calories. This sort of behavior led to me going to a multitude of eating disorder therapy groups.
They helped quite a lot actually, and I've been eating at 2500-3000 every day for the past month. However, I can't help but feel so guilty eating this much. How does a 5'9 105 pound body possibly need that many calories a day? To weight restore? I've never been at a normal healthy weight so there's nothing to "restore" It seems my body is comfortable being at around 105 and I don't know what to do. Even at 3000 calories of whole foods, I'm still so hungry though. I'm pretty sure its just mental hunger. I work out at the gym 5 times a week, an hour 45 min a day, but every time i come home to rest, it doesn't feel right eating an 800 calorie lunch. So far, I've gained 2 pounds and my midsection already looks and feels flabbier. Is 2500-3000 too much for someone like me? Am i cursed with the worst genetics imaginable?
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06-16-2021, 08:02 PM #2875
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Hey there,
Thanks for sharing your story.
I want you to take a step back really quick and consider all the variables you described:
- A known/self-admitted eating disorder and body-image image
- A known issue with purging
- A hyper-vigilance and hyper-awareness of calories
- An obsession with movement and exercise + tracking and measuring as many aspects of your body as possible
Now, consider the question you're asking: "should I be eating this much?"
Of course you should. In fact, you should eat more.
Why? Because you said yourself YOU'RE STILL HUNGRY.
The bottom line here is that you are not 'NATURALLY' thin. If you were, you wouldn't have extreme hunger. You wouldn't be so food and body-image focused.
You're fully aware you need to stop the exercising and stop the meticulous counting of food and just eat what you know you need to eat: MORE.
2500-3000 calories isn't too much, because if it were, you'd be enjoying your life, you'd feel better, and you certainly wouldn't feel so hungry all the time."When I die, I hope it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day for no reason"
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06-16-2021, 09:08 PM #2876
what's a little confusing to me is that i had extreme hunger even when at 23% body fat, so this extreme hunger I feel now doesn't feel like my body trying to rebuild itself, rather some form of leptin resistance or just my inner fat ass coming out. I know I'm not physically hungry most of the time but my mental hunger is insane man, I could eat bowls and bowls of ****ing plain oatmeal or dozens of microwaved potatoes even if my stomach is physically full haha. I'm always looking at the clock til the time for my next meal/snack.
On my two rest days however, i eat around 2500 instead of 3000 since im mostly on a chair. I feel so damn guilty chowing down on like a 600 calorie meal then just sitting there, it feels like my fat cells are expanding like crazy. I understand that my neural pathways are just really screwed up, and I'm working with many people to get them fixed. After all, going from 1600 and petrified of eating a single calorie more to 3000 5 days a week changed my life for the better in so many ways. I just hate how my body naturally defaults to a skinny fat state the second I consume any excess in calories, I don't even remember being this flabby at 105 when I was at this weight a couple months ago.
Sorry for ranting, I just have a lot of feelings about this stuff haha. I'm gonna bump up my calories on rest days and try and listen to my body, even if the messages it sends feels so ingenuine. Thanks so much for the response
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06-16-2021, 09:13 PM #2877
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06-21-2021, 06:21 AM #2878
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07-02-2021, 07:13 AM #2879
Guys, today I messed it up. I haven’t been weighting myself for some time now, but also haven’t progressed much in my main lifts. yesterday I ate too much and felt bloated. I really don’t like feeling full. yeah I enjoy the food and love to eat it but i get full and don’t like it.
so what happened today is that I decided to weight myself because I wanted to see if one of the reasons why i haven’t progressed in lifts is because i havent been eating enought and I weighted more today. now im anxious and full and gotta eat breakfast and force myself because i have a long day ahead.
how do you deal with this?
later today should I eat intuitively? when i feel hungry and stop when full?
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07-02-2021, 11:56 AM #2880
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You've already asked these questions and you've been given answers.
You already know you shouldn't be weighing yourself.
You already know you need to stop 'worrying' about food.
You seem to just be doing the same thing over and over.
The scale is obviously hurting you.... I don't know how many times to say it....
Take the scale and smash it into 1000 pieces if you need to. Just stop it."When I die, I hope it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day for no reason"
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