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  1. #2371
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    hello guys! so yesterday (or the day before because i don’t remember well) i weighted myself and saw an increase. today i weighted myself and saw another increase from previous weight (if i remember correctly before todays weigh in i was 146 and today im at 146.5). when i was weighing myself i was like “why am i weighing myself? this brings anxiety” and it did, but i said “its okey to gain some weight. i need it for health reasons and because i probably look better with more weight”. this time im taking control. i need to really stop yoyoing and freaking out when i sometimes see a weight increase (majority of the time tbh or even all the time. can’t remember when i felt good about weight i increase so i don’t want to lie, but maybe i have felt good about weight increase sometime, but idk i don’t remember weight increase and then feeling nice) and then wanting to eat less. i need to live and continue living and slowly letting food be part of my life and not letting food be my life. like always thinking about it.

    like adam said, when im fuller i tend to think less about food which is what im also looking for.
    Hey bro, your not alone. One thing I do is just try weight yourself maybe once per week. I know it is not the most accurate way but I find it helps me.
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  2. #2372
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    Originally Posted by Andrew578 View Post
    Hey bro, your not alone. One thing I do is just try weight yourself maybe once per week. I know it is not the most accurate way but I find it helps me.
    thanks for replying!
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  3. #2373
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    thanks for replying!
    no worries, just trying to help. I am trying to overcome an ED too. I just struggle to gain weight and have a fear of doing so. I have suffered from it as i have been training for 8 months and seen very little results. But I'm working on it
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  4. #2374
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    Originally Posted by Andrew578 View Post
    no worries, just trying to help. I am trying to overcome an ED too. I just struggle to gain weight and have a fear of doing so. I have suffered from it as i have been training for 8 months and seen very little results. But I'm working on it
    thanks a lot for replying!
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  5. #2375
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    Originally Posted by CBRIT89 View Post
    Only just found this thread after how many months.

    Checking in as I have BED, triggered by a potential cancer relapse after funny bloodworks came back. Regularly go out and eat 8-12,000 calories in cookies, granola bars, greek yoghurt, pizza, pasties etc.

    I'm currently 16 days without binge eating, have been tracking everything on MFP with a high protein diet and 200-400 calorie deficit most days. Right now I feel like I have broken the binge cycle - I normally do 7-10 days clean and then break, so I am on a PB right now!
    Awesome work man, hope the streak is still going strong!
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  6. #2376
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    Originally Posted by Andrew578 View Post
    Hey bro, your not alone. One thing I do is just try weight yourself maybe once per week. I know it is not the most accurate way but I find it helps me.
    Just agreeing with this! I’ve had a huge struggle with scale addiction, and honestly know I’d be best off if I did away completely with it. But weighing daily is definitely not helpful... once a week at most is enough! If it’s too much of a struggle for you to cut back, it might be helpful to do away with your scale completely (if you see a health professional regularly who weighs you, you can ask to be weighed backwards and not tell you but to help make sure you’re staying within a healthy weight range). When I was in my most solid recovery phase is given my scale to my therapist and just got weighed weekly with my dietitian. It was so helpful to be free of worrying about the numbers (well, obviously not totally free but not seeing it or knowing helped).
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    Congrats on taking control! Sounds like you’ve worked really hard to get back on track and I’m glad o hear you’re having so much success. That’s a lot to be proud of sorry to hear about your other health worries... will you have a follow up to find out what’s going on with the lab work? Praying it turns out ok. Hang in there!
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  8. #2378
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    guys im struggling right now :s

    yesterday i ate something i didn’t cooked (didn’t even ate it all) and then i continue eating my “comfort food” because i kinda always safe some space for that.

    the thing is, i felt extremely full and i also know i ate with too much sodium because i was extremely thirsty and even had to drink water when i woke up during the night because i was thirsty.

    today i weighted myself and saw an increase and freaked out. i haven’t weighted myself for several days and saw this. should i just calm down and maybe its from the water weight and food from yesterday? i only saw like 1 pound increase tho. im also extremely bloated.

    i also can’t stop thinking about food. sometimes even when im satisfied or full. like im always waiting for next meal because it’s mostly the “comfort food” (except one meal which is not that comfort food. i just eat it to eat something sometimes).

    thanks!
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  9. #2379
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    guys im struggling right now :s

    yesterday i ate something i didn’t cooked (didn’t even ate it all) and then i continue eating my “comfort food” because i kinda always safe some space for that.

    the thing is, i felt extremely full and i also know i ate with too much sodium because i was extremely thirsty and even had to drink water when i woke up during the night because i was thirsty.

    today i weighted myself and saw an increase and freaked out. i haven’t weighted myself for several days and saw this. should i just calm down and maybe its from the water weight and food from yesterday? i only saw like 1 pound increase tho. im also extremely bloated.

    i also can’t stop thinking about food. sometimes even when im satisfied or full. like im always waiting for next meal because it’s mostly the “comfort food” (except one meal which is not that comfort food. i just eat it to eat something sometimes).

    thanks!
    So you knowingly ate a little more than you should, and chose the day after that to weigh yourself?

    Why? That's just asking to upset your emotional state.

    Stop weighing yourself. It's not helping you at all.

    PS - I ate a pint of full-fat ice cream last night, and I don't care... it was a conscious decision.

    Life goes on my friend... it ain't that big of a deal.

    You're thinking about food because you've convinced youself you can't have it without feeling guilty, like a child begging for the cookies in the cupboard you can't reach.

    It's just... food... it has no power.

    Just let it go man... live a little and move on. If you're dealing with 'guilt', consider this: no person on the entire planet cares that you overate. NOBODY thinks you broke a rule. There is no rule. What you did was a good thing. You ate, good job. Nobody is going to care if you ate a lot, nobody. Nobody is going to judge you for feeling full now... you did what any normal human would do. It doesn't matter. It's over. Don't worry about it. You can do the same thing every day for 10 years if you feel like it, and it will never be against the rules, because there are no rules. Zero. None.
    Last edited by AdamWW; 09-09-2019 at 10:02 AM.
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  10. #2380
    Registered User letsallmakeit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    So you knowingly ate a little more than you should, and chose the day after that to weigh yourself?

    Why? That's just asking to upset your emotional state.

    Stop weighing yourself. It's not helping you at all.

    PS - I ate a pint of full-fat ice cream last night, and I don't care... it was a conscious decision.

    Life goes on my friend... it ain't that big of a deal.

    You're thinking about food because you've convinced youself you can't have it without feeling guilty, like a child begging for the cookies in the cupboard you can't reach.

    It's just... food... it has no power.

    Just let it go man... live a little and move on. If you're dealing with 'guilt', consider this: no person on the entire planet cares that you overate. NOBODY thinks you broke a rule. There is no rule. What you did was a good thing. You ate, good job. Nobody is going to care if you ate a lot, nobody. Nobody is going to judge you for feeling full now... you did what any normal human would do. It doesn't matter. It's over. Don't worry about it. You can do the same thing every day for 10 years if you feel like it, and it will never be against the rules, because there are no rules. Zero. None.
    hey man!

    “You're thinking about food because you've convinced youself you can't have it without feeling guilty, like a child begging for the cookies in the cupboard you can't reach.“

    i gotta admit, sometimes (if i remember correctly) i do worry and overthink a lot if i eat something different that’s not made by me and also if i did almost or no physical activity that day, but the main reason i think of food is because it’s comforting for me. it’s like the moment im most happiest during the day and the moment i take time to relax and enjoy. so im like always wanting to get to that moment. even when going to sleep im like “i want this night to be over to get breakfast”. :/ the only meal i mostly have that i don’t find it too much of a comfort is a yogurt with some kind of nut.

    edit: yeah, im going to try and not weigh myself for some time now.

    thanks a lot for replying!
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    hey man!

    “You're thinking about food because you've convinced youself you can't have it without feeling guilty, like a child begging for the cookies in the cupboard you can't reach.“

    i gotta admit, sometimes (if i remember correctly) i do worry and overthink a lot if i eat something different that’s not made by me and also if i did almost or no physical activity that day, but the main reason i think of food is because it’s comforting for me. it’s like the moment im most happiest during the day and the moment i take time to relax and enjoy. so im like always wanting to get to that moment. even when going to sleep im like “i want this night to be over to get breakfast”. :/ the only meal i mostly have that i don’t find it too much of a comfort is a yogurt with some kind of nut.

    edit: yeah, im going to try and not weigh myself for some time now.

    thanks a lot for replying!
    If you go to bed thinking about breakfast, it sounds like you’re hungry
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    If you go to bed thinking about breakfast, it sounds like you’re hungry
    thanks a lot for replying!
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  13. #2383
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    Hey guys, I am trying to overcome an ED and a bad relationship with food. I am a 17 year old male, 112lbs and 5'5. However do you think I should track calories, I am trying to gain weight and muscle so I need a surplus, however not sure if I should track calories to make sure I meet my daily needs. I stopped tracking calories for a about a month but found most nights I would binge, therefore I started tracking them again. Any advice to stop this bad relationship and overcome a fear of gaining weight? Thanks
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    Originally Posted by Andrew578 View Post
    Hey guys, I am trying to overcome an ED and a bad relationship with food. I am a 17 year old male, 112lbs and 5'5. However do you think I should track calories, I am trying to gain weight and muscle so I need a surplus, however not sure if I should track calories to make sure I meet my daily needs. I stopped tracking calories for a about a month but found most nights I would binge, therefore I started tracking them again. Any advice to stop this bad relationship and overcome a fear of gaining weight? Thanks
    There's no such thing as 'binging' when you're medically underweight and have a restrictive eating disorder.

    These 'binges' are your body's way of compensating for starvation. You're SUPPOSED to be eating a ton right now.

    As to overcoming fear, you probably should speak to a professional. It's kind of difficult to give anyone a truly effective assessment online.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    There's no such thing as 'binging' when you're medically underweight and have a restrictive eating disorder.

    These 'binges' are your body's way of compensating for starvation. You're SUPPOSED to be eating a ton right now.

    As to overcoming fear, you probably should speak to a professional. It's kind of difficult to give anyone a truly effective assessment online.
    yeh i understand. I have deprived myself from food for a couple years and its my way of compensating for it. Do you think I should just listen to my body and not track calories and just make sure i get adequate protein? Thanks
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    Originally Posted by Andrew578 View Post
    yeh i understand. I have deprived myself from food for a couple years and its my way of compensating for it. Do you think I should just listen to my body and not track calories and just make sure i get adequate protein? Thanks
    Well that depends on a number of factors...

    You have two primary goals: restore yourself to a healthy weight, and fix your bad relationship with food, bodyimage, etc.

    Restoring weight is pretty simple, you just need to eat enough food to gain weight.

    Fixing the mental aspect is trickier, but you need to do both (mind + body).

    So whatever YOU need to do to ensure you consistently gain weight is what you need to do.

    If tracking calories, etc, causes you to hyper-focus on food, constantly worry about eating above a number, etc, then don't track it.

    If tracking calories HELP you eat plenty of food, then by all means, track it..

    But what I will say is that regardless of what how much food you think you need, you ALWAYS need to eat if you feel like eating. It's not JUST when you feel physical hunger, it's about eat whenever you want food, and exactly what food you want.

    You need to train your brain to not fear it.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Well that depends on a number of factors...

    You have two primary goals: restore yourself to a healthy weight, and fix your bad relationship with food, bodyimage, etc.

    Restoring weight is pretty simple, you just need to eat enough food to gain weight.

    Fixing the mental aspect is trickier, but you need to do both (mind + body).

    So whatever YOU need to do to ensure you consistently gain weight is what you need to do.

    If tracking calories, etc, causes you to hyper-focus on food, constantly worry about eating above a number, etc, then don't track it.

    If tracking calories HELP you eat plenty of food, then by all means, track it..

    But what I will say is that regardless of what how much food you think you need, you ALWAYS need to eat if you feel like eating. It's not JUST when you feel physical hunger, it's about eat whenever you want food, and exactly what food you want.

    You need to train your brain to not fear it.
    thank you very much. Appreciate the help
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    Soo,

    Currently weight restoration is going very well. My hunger has increased most days and im able to eat my full calorie allotment. To decrease the food focus, i've tried implementing "retroactive" tracking as inspired by Adam. Basically i just eat whatever i feel like, at the end of the day i log it all and if im short on calories i do a gainer shake.

    Hunger cues are somewhat weird still tho, like i swing from being disgusted by the thought of eating and extreme hunger. PWO today for example i downed two donuts, a ham sandwich and a whole litre of chocolate milk. Still get kinda guilty feelings from eating episodes like this in regards to bingeing etc, and some fear of "stretching" out my stomach, which kinda sucks. These episodes frequently leave me REALLY full and bloated as well, which kinda amplifies the feelings of guilt. Determined to keep honor my hunger feelings tho -> whenever im hungry, i eat and i eat exactly what i feel like.

    Would appreciate any other input on extreme hunger/feelings of bingeing from you guys, as these thoughts are the strongest mental aspect im struggling with right now.
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    Originally Posted by edrecoveryboii View Post
    Soo,

    Hunger cues are somewhat weird still tho, like i swing from being disgusted by the thought of eating and extreme hunger. PWO today for example i downed two donuts, a ham sandwich and a whole litre of chocolate milk. Still get kinda guilty feelings from eating episodes like this in regards to bingeing etc, and some fear of "stretching" out my stomach, which kinda sucks. These episodes frequently leave me REALLY full and bloated as well, which kinda amplifies the feelings of guilt. Determined to keep honor my hunger feelings tho -> whenever im hungry, i eat and i eat exactly what i feel like.

    Would appreciate any other input on extreme hunger/feelings of bingeing from you guys, as these thoughts are the strongest mental aspect im struggling with right now.
    Sounds very familiar bro.

    I have days where I wake up ready to eat a house, and then days like today I feel zero hunger until like 11am, at which point I want to do nothing all day but sit and just eat, and eat, and eat, until literally food makes me sick. And I mean that literally... sometimes the hunger gets so severe I actually want to eat until I hate food just to get it out of my system. It's hard to explain.

    Then, other times, I have almost a 'normal' day where I do eat a lot, but it's evenly spaced, seemingly predictable, etc.

    I wish I knew what caused the constant ups and downs, but it's still a phase of discovery for me, too. The guilt is always a tough one, and the bloating definitely doesn't help.... it can make you feel like you 'did something wrong' when all you did was fulfilled your body's desire for energy.... it can turn a slice of pizza into feeling like the whole pie because you get so inflamed.

    It all passes, of course, but I know the struggle. You aint alone!
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    hey guys! currently one of my issues is not feeling full. i sometimes forget that feeling. i feel like i need to eat high volume foods with a good amount of fiber to get satisfied. i could eat rice with some veggies, protein and some fat and still feel almost the same.

    i don’t get the feeling of being full like you guys seem to be saying. does this get better?

    i could sit down and eat a lot in one sitting and still end up feeling satisfied, but still feel like i could eat more. even if i eat healthy enough.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Sounds very familiar bro.

    I have days where I wake up ready to eat a house, and then days like today I feel zero hunger until like 11am, at which point I want to do nothing all day but sit and just eat, and eat, and eat, until literally food makes me sick. And I mean that literally... sometimes the hunger gets so severe I actually want to eat until I hate food just to get it out of my system. It's hard to explain.

    Then, other times, I have almost a 'normal' day where I do eat a lot, but it's evenly spaced, seemingly predictable, etc.

    I wish I knew what caused the constant ups and downs, but it's still a phase of discovery for me, too. The guilt is always a tough one, and the bloating definitely doesn't help.... it can make you feel like you 'did something wrong' when all you did was fulfilled your body's desire for energy.... it can turn a slice of pizza into feeling like the whole pie because you get so inflamed.

    It all passes, of course, but I know the struggle. You aint alone!
    Really appreciate it man, theres comfort in knowing that im not alone in experiencing these things, makes them feel somewhat more "normal" so to speak. What you said about wanting to eat until you hate food is scarily relatable - i experience the same thing but have failed to put words to it until know. Like ill almost eat with anger just to get it the **** done with and move on with my day so that i can get away from the mental drain of "am i hungry or not" and food thoughts.
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    Originally Posted by edrecoveryboii View Post
    Really appreciate it man, theres comfort in knowing that im not alone in experiencing these things, makes them feel somewhat more "normal" so to speak. What you said about wanting to eat until you hate food is scarily relatable - i experience the same thing but have failed to put words to it until know. Like ill almost eat with anger just to get it the **** done with and move on with my day so that i can get away from the mental drain of "am i hungry or not" and food thoughts.
    My impression on this is that we yearn to know what it's like to be 'normal' and not constantly want and crave food, and for us (sadly) that seems to only come when we eat until feeling sick.

    For example, I could throw back a pizza and a pint of ice cream, and still be thinking "you know.... i could PROBABLY still eat"... and whereas a normal person might think "nah, it's not worth the pain/nausea"... for me, sometimes I think instead, "You know... f*ck it... i want to take the risk... what if I can still do it?".

    So in a way, it's almost like your ED is taunting you to go 'all in' and just do it... it's a weird struggle.

    Believe me i've gone to bed sweating and bloated feeling like if someone even said the word 'eat' I might vomit... but there's a weird sense of catharsis in knowing you literally couldn't eat any more... the void is filled and food then has ZERO power and influence over you. It's a non-factor.
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    Hey guys, would just like to say thanks for the help. I went and saw an endocrinologist and had some tests done and found out I have quite low testosterone. Seeing the endocrinologist again next week and seeing what will happen in the future. Thanks again
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    hey guys. how did you beat the anxiety when weighting yourself when you see a weight increase? yeah i know that stop weighing myself is an option, but i also weight myself to see if im increasing, but i also do it because i don’t want to go too fast (and because of other things). it’s like my mind wants me to go to the gym to do some type of cardio or eat less, but im like “i won’t go to the gym and i will continue eating!” probably ill go to the beach tho and maybe do something else.

    the thing is, i don’t even think im gaining that fast. i think i started at 143, 143.5, 144 or 144.5 and now i weighted 149 and im 6’ this weight gain if i remember correctly took about almost two months.

    thanks!
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    hey guys. how did you beat the anxiety when weighting yourself when you see a weight increase? yeah i know that stop weighing myself is an option, but i also weight myself to see if im increasing, but i also do it because i don’t want to go too fast (and because of other things). it’s like my mind wants me to go to the gym to do some type of cardio or eat less, but im like “i won’t go to the gym and i will continue eating!” probably ill go to the beach tho and maybe do something else.

    the thing is, i don’t even think im gaining that fast. i think i started at 143, 143.5, 144 or 144.5 and now i weighted 149 and im 6’ this weight gain if i remember correctly took about almost two months.

    thanks!
    You need to stop weighing yourself, and you know it.

    The reality is that you'll only ever be happy with 'perfect' weight gain, and that doesn't exist. You clearly cannot handle the larger variations that happen on the scale, it's been clear for a while now, hasn't it?

    The scale is causing you anxiety, and anxiety isn't going to help you recover.

    Stop.
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    hey adam how you been lately?

    thanks a lot for replying!
    fantastic dude. fantastic.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    You need to stop weighing yourself, and you know it.

    The reality is that you'll only ever be happy with 'perfect' weight gain, and that doesn't exist. You clearly cannot handle the larger variations that happen on the scale, it's been clear for a while now, hasn't it?

    The scale is causing you anxiety, and anxiety isn't going to help you recover.

    Stop.
    hey adam how you been lately?

    thanks a lot for replying!
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    fantastic dude. fantastic.
    i deleted the message and replied again with the same thing i wrote before. sorry had anxiety issues and had to delete and do type it again.

    im even starting to feel less cold lately.

    edit: wanted to add that feeling less cold is great!

    thanks a lot for replying!
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    Originally Posted by letsallmakeit View Post
    i deleted the message and replied again with the same thing i wrote before. sorry had anxiety issues and had to delete and do type it again.

    im even starting to feel less cold lately.

    edit: wanted to add that feeling less cold is great!

    thanks a lot for replying!
    Yeah if anything nowadays I get more uncomfortable getting too HOT ;o)

    Still get cold sometimes of course, but nowhere near what I used to. Also sleeping way way deeper and longer.
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    Originally Posted by AdamWW View Post
    Yeah if anything nowadays I get more uncomfortable getting too HOT ;o)

    Still get cold sometimes of course, but nowhere near what I used to. Also sleeping way way deeper and longer.
    the sleeping is an issue im currently having, but mostly because of anxiety im guessing. sometimes i sweat during the night which is weird i think? i also wake up to pee like 2-5 times i don’t remember if i even reached 6 times lol. i do sleep around 6-8 hours tho, but damn i want to sleep deeper. i want to remember dreaming more x)
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