Eating Disorder Support Thread: "Take Action" (part 3)

[tensecun]

do you guys crave salty foods or just salt in general? im slowly adding it even tho my mind tells me no. i have been bloated but know its water.

okay .. I'm hungry all the time .. and even when i consume large meals, i'm still hungry.. i can easily down 3 large pizzas (i've done it on my stupid "cheat" days)...

[AdamWW]

okay .. I'm hungry all the time .. and even when i consume large meals, i'm still hungry.. i can easily down 3 large pizzas (i've done it on my stupid "cheat" days)...

Extreme hunger. Very common

[letsallmakeit]

when recovering from an eating disorder that involves eating depending on if we workout or not. is it better to stop working out, eat what you want and gain weight even if not exercising?

[AdamWW]

when recovering from an eating disorder that involves eating depending on if we workout or not. is it better to stop working out, eat what you want and gain weight even if not exercising?

If your eating disorder is tied to an exercise addiction or compulsion, then removing both is almost always required and recommended. However, no two people will have identical cases... you need to be honest with yourself on what causes the negative thoughts and actions.

[letsallmakeit]

If your eating disorder is tied to an exercise addiction or compulsion, then removing both is almost always required and recommended. However, no two people will have identical cases... you need to be honest with yourself on what causes the negative thoughts and actions.

thanks a lot mate!

[tensecun]

The forum limit has been reached on part two. Here is the new thread.



Thank you to everyone who has participated in the older threads. Let's change our lives, impact others and improve our relationships with food.

Thanks for Post the link to reach the threads faster.

[AdamWW]

ok so guys im having trouble with something. im usually feeling way more exhausted, tired after training and on top of that my anxiety and depression gets worst even the days after training. why?

You didn’t share any details about your situation... how can anyone answer this?

[letsallmakeit]

You didn’t share any details about your situation... how can anyone answer this?

yeah, im deleting that post. sorry. thanks for replying!

[thebluetree01]

Whether you eat too little or too much, eating habits are often a sign of how we feel on the inside. Our experts are here to offer professional support in a non-judgemental, caring and collaborative way to feel good about yourself and to look after your general health. We offer support for those suffering from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorders and the families and carers of those that are unwell.

[TomMMA]

I think I have an eating disorder, things have gotten out of control. I’m an amateur boxer and spent about a year weighing 85/86kg this was my fight weight. It took effort maintain through dieting and training but it was manageable and I feel as though I was comfortable there but probably the lighter end of what my body could cope with, I was lean. Earlier this year I dropped a weight class for a fight at 79kg... bad idea, this was achieved by an extremely low cal diet and overtraining, I felt starving hungry and low on energy all the time, I was cold more often than not and my sex dive plummeted, I realised this was bad and I took a break from boxing after the fight. Needless to say I let myself pig out after the many months of being in a deficit, I thought I’d get back up to where my weight was before and that would be enough of a break, how wrong I was. Three months later I’m now 93kg and whatever I do I can’t seem to satiate my hunger, I crave all sorts of junk food and seem to always be eating, I just don’t let myself get hungry no more. The thing is in the past I was so good at being disciplined but I just can’t seem to do it anymore, every time I tell myself that I’ll stop this I just start again, I just want to know what I can do to get my eating under control before I become a fat mess. I know a lot of people will read this and just say, use some will power and stop being fat but I just can’t I feel controlled by my hunger and compelled to eat, anyone else been in this situation before and got advice? Any bodybuilders post cut that struggled? Anyone at all?

[SuperHippo]

I hope everyone is doing well. I have been batting an ED for about 15 years now and I finally just accepted rapid weight gain and feel and look so much better. Here is a quick synopsis of my journey.

https://www.********.com/kyle.ruiter...action_generic

[AdamWW]

I hope everyone is doing well. I have been batting an ED for about 15 years now and I finally just accepted rapid weight gain and feel and look so much better. Here is a quick synopsis of my journey.

https://www.********.com/kyle.ruiter...action_generic

Very glad to hear you are making progress. I too have struggle for over 15 years, now 34, and I’ve been gaining steadily for about 3 months. It’s a very painful yet enlightening process... I can relate to that for sure.

Wishing you the best.

Out of curiosity, which of those pictures is current. They all seem to show a very malnourished state.

[SuperHippo]

Very glad to hear you are making progress. I too have struggle for over 15 years, now 34, and I’ve been gaining steadily for about 3 months. It’s a very painful yet enlightening process... I can relate to that for sure.

Wishing you the best.

Out of curiosity, which of those pictures is current. They all seem to show a very malnourished state.

The last two, the one with me and my mom and the one in teh yellow tank top where I am in the gym.

[AdamWW]

The last two, the one with me and my mom and the one in teh yellow tank top where I am in the gym.

Gotcha OK. As long as you're making progress, I have nothing but positive things to say. I meant no hate whatsoever, just wanted to make sure you're on the right path.

One thing I've found is that my personal body image has become so distorted that, even though I know I'm weight really slowly, it feels so damn fast...

Several weeks ago I decided to purposefully gain at a much higher rate than I would have before, because a subtle approach wasn't working. It's really difficult feeling like a person so different from who I have become to identify as, but it's slowly getting easier. its meant gaining 2 lbs every week, and im not sure when i'll stop for sure... probably until my hunger cues return to normal and my blood work is good again.

[SuperHippo]

Gotcha OK. As long as you're making progress, I have nothing but positive things to say. I meant no hate whatsoever, just wanted to make sure you're on the right path.

One thing I've found is that my personal body image has become so distorted that, even though I know I'm weight really slowly, it feels so damn fast...

Several weeks ago I decided to purposefully gain at a much higher rate than I would have before, because a subtle approach wasn't working. It's really difficult feeling like a person so different from who I have become to identify as, but it's slowly getting easier. its meant gaining 2 lbs every week, and im not sure when i'll stop for sure... probably until my hunger cues return to normal and my blood work is good again.

Yeah I was in the double digits weight wise 3 months ago and I was going to do a long clean bulk at 1 pound a month, but I knew I was just keeping my ED by doing so. I haven't weighed myself since I started gaining, but I assume I have been gaining 2 pounds a week for the last 13/14 weeks.

[AdamWW]

Yeah I was in the double digits weight wise 3 months ago and I was going to do a long clean bulk at 1 pound a month, but I knew I was just keeping my ED by doing so. I haven't weighed myself since I started gaining, but I assume I have been gaining 2 pounds a week for the last 13/14 weeks.

That's great to hear, indeed 1 pound a month would have simply been a waste of time.

I will say, though, that as many positive things I have been experiencing, many of the physical symptoms are not so fun... for example, due to long term use of higher volume foods, my stomach takes longer to empty, so I have to be careful about what I eat so as to not get bloated and ruin my appetite.

Also, sleep is just weird... some nights I can sleep 10 hours, and others I wake up sweating and I can't get more than like 3 hours in.

One thing I will say though is that my joints and libido are so much better... I used to be sore ALL the time, but it's vastly improved.

The lowest I got was 125lb and i was insanely lean, at 6 feet tall... and although I don't have a hard weight I'd like to hit... for some reason I almost most to reach a bodyweight that I'm specifically afraid of because it's the weight I was at in high school when all this started... and that's 185lb... even typing that almost scares me.

I have a ways to go, of course, but it's gunna happen.

[Van4stan91]

Apologize in advance if this doesn’t fit the requirements of the discussion in this thread.

For my entire adult life I’ve been what I can best describe as a chronic dieter/yoyo dieter. To keep if brief, I’m that person always on a diet, always trying to get 6pack lean. I will start a diet, be successful a few weeks or months, then binge/over eat. This then leads to binge/restricting cycles, and recently I’ve found myself using exercise/hitting a certain step count to try and counter act the over eating days. I feel like I’ve been on a cutting diet for 8 years, never in that time have I ever spent a extended period at maintenance or in a surplus.

Anyone have similar past experiences?
Recommendations?

Really want to end this cycle.

[letsallmakeit]

So last time i checked my weight and if i remember correctly i was 144.5 and im 6’. do you guys know whats a good healthy weight for 6’?

[AdamWW]

So last time i checked my weight and if i remember correctly i was 144.5 and im 6’. do you guys know whats a good healthy weight for 6’?

the weight at which your hunger is under control, you sleep well, have a good sex drive, and your blood work is good... and you have good energy.

[letsallmakeit]

the weight at which your hunger is under control, you sleep well, have a good sex drive, and your blood work is good... and you have good energy.

legit answer. thanks!

[ChuckersT]

10 years ago I was 225 pounds of fat couch potato laziness. Had never done anything athletic in my life.

I decided to lose weight... and I did. YoYo'd a bit, but for the past 6 years under control. Last year, I got down to 134 pounds. Im 6ft Male 42 years old.

I got so good at losing weight and dieting that I have lost control, as in I CANT CHEAT!

For the past 4 years I have been hungry. MY day consists of three periods - Thinking about eating. Actually eating (Pure heaven). Just got finished eating (Pure depression).

I know I have an ED. Mine is exercise bulimia or whatever. I do cardio 15-20 hours a week in order to be able to eat.

The problem I am bringing up here is Extreme Hunger. How fat am I going to get before this goes away? Last 2 Sundays I decided to give in and eat all I wanted - but Im not like most people. Yesterday for lunch I had:
2 half pound hamburgers
1 pound sweet potato fries
3 pound salad (volume eater)
3 hot dogs
Pizza
Box of cereal
3 donuts

And I was still hungry. How do I know this isnt binge eating? How fat am I going to get before I can get full? I see people in restaurants with to go boxes. I dont understand how people can not finish their food. For me, I get hungrier as I am eating.

My weight is up to 144 pounds - putting my BMI at 19.7. (Again 6ft Male 42 years old). I am trying to get better. Id just like to know at some point I can eat normally again. I was fat cause I love food and dont want to get fat again.

[AdamWW]

10 years ago I was 225 pounds of fat couch potato laziness. Had never done anything athletic in my life.

I decided to lose weight... and I did. YoYo'd a bit, but for the past 6 years under control. Last year, I got down to 134 pounds. Im 6ft Male 42 years old.

I got so good at losing weight and dieting that I have lost control, as in I CANT CHEAT!

For the past 4 years I have been hungry. MY day consists of three periods - Thinking about eating. Actually eating (Pure heaven). Just got finished eating (Pure depression).

I know I have an ED. Mine is exercise bulimia or whatever. I do cardio 15-20 hours a week in order to be able to eat.

The problem I am bringing up here is Extreme Hunger. How fat am I going to get before this goes away? Last 2 Sundays I decided to give in and eat all I wanted - but Im not like most people. Yesterday for lunch I had:
2 half pound hamburgers
1 pound sweet potato fries
3 pound salad (volume eater)
3 hot dogs
Pizza
Box of cereal
3 donuts

And I was still hungry. How do I know this isnt binge eating? How fat am I going to get before I can get full? I see people in restaurants with to go boxes. I dont understand how people can not finish their food. For me, I get hungrier as I am eating.

My weight is up to 144 pounds - putting my BMI at 19.7. (Again 6ft Male 42 years old). I am trying to get better. Id just like to know at some point I can eat normally again. I was fat cause I love food and dont want to get fat again.

Binge eating is a completely different sub-type of ED’s. They are not the same

You are gaining weight because you need to.

Extreme hunger is your body’s natural response to starvation.

It will stop when all the damage done is repaired and your hormones, thoughts, and behaviors around food normalize.

What you’re experiencing is very, very common.

[ChuckersT]

Binge eating is a completely different sub-type of ED’s. They are not the same

You are gaining weight because you need to.

Extreme hunger is your body’s natural response to starvation.

It will stop when all the damage done is repaired and your hormones, thoughts, and behaviors around food normalize.

What you’re experiencing is very, very common.

Thanks, but how much weight am I looking at gaining before this stops? Im worried I am going to turn into my former fat self, again. If I keep eating like that, it will only take a couple of months.

[AdamWW]

Thanks, but how much weight am I looking at gaining before this stops? Im worried I am going to turn into my former fat self, again. If I keep eating like that, it will only take a couple of months.

There is no possible way to know I am afraid, it varies for every person.

But I want to make one thing clear: you will not 'turn into' your former self. Never once have I ever heard of someone who had a restrictive eating disorder ballooning up and becoming obese/fat again, it just doesn't happen like that.

I know this is a tough time, I am going through it too, but try to keep in mind what got you to where you are. You're smart enough and detailed enough to understand how to lose weight, clearly. Do you really think something like becoming obese is just going to happen by accident after all you've been through?

A large part of extreme hunger lies in this fear itself, because you're creating a psychological association between food and danger, fear, and scarcity. By placing such a high-price and value on 'forbidden' items that cause you fear, you're fueling this anxiety in your brain. Again, believe me when I say I understand the fear... but truly this is a normal part of normalizing your hunger again. Once your body and your mind are confident you won't starve it again, things will return to normal.

Try and relax, use this time for introspection and just being mindful of how you feel around food.

It's a very difficult journey but I know you can work it out.

[ChuckersT]

Let me ask you this. I started doing Stronglifts 3 weeks ago. I need to rebuild strength and a little mass. I literally started with the bar and no weight. I still run 50 miles per week training for an Ultra in August. That is the end of the endurance saga of my life. It will be my 1st 100 miler.

During the three weeks, I have gained about 3-4 pounds and my stomach looks bloated. I dont feel bloated, just look it. Im not eating anymore, other than two cheat days.

Is it normal to gain weight like this when starting to lift? Will the bloated look go away? If so, when, approximately?

[ChuckersT]

As I mentioned in the post above this one, I started doing Stronglifts 3 weeks ago. At that time I did a 3-site body caliper test.

141 pounds
6.53% BF

Today, I did the scale and 3-site test. Results:

145 pounds
6.23% BF

So, my BF % went down, but I gained 4 pounds. I assume this is water weight?

Some things I have noticed since lifting weights (This is my 1st time lifting barbells)

#1. My stomach still looks like it sticks out now.
#2. Im guessing the weight must be water weight
#3. I doing a really bad job gaining BF
#4. My runs have gotten faster with less effort. My long easy runs were around a 8:35 pace. Now they are at a 7:56 pace at the same level of exertion.
#5. Im HOT! Typically, I have a space heater or heated blanket at all times - and I live in the South where it is 95 degrees. Now, I am hot all the time.

This is all new so I dont know what any of it means. My stupid mind is only focused on the fact that I gained 4 pounds. But, I am actually not freaked out about it (Well, a little... but that is a huge improvement).

[AdamWW]

As I mentioned in the post above this one, I started doing Stronglifts 3 weeks ago. At that time I did a 3-site body caliper test.

141 pounds
6.53% BF

Today, I did the scale and 3-site test. Results:

145 pounds
6.23% BF

So, my BF % went down, but I gained 4 pounds. I assume this is water weight?

Some things I have noticed since lifting weights (This is my 1st time lifting barbells)

#1. My stomach still looks like it sticks out now.
#2. Im guessing the weight must be water weight
#3. I doing a really bad job gaining BF
#4. My runs have gotten faster with less effort. My long easy runs were around a 8:35 pace. Now they are at a 7:56 pace at the same level of exertion.
#5. Im HOT! Typically, I have a space heater or heated blanket at all times - and I live in the South where it is 95 degrees. Now, I am hot all the time.

This is all new so I dont know what any of it means. My stupid mind is only focused on the fact that I gained 4 pounds. But, I am actually not freaked out about it (Well, a little... but that is a huge improvement).

Is this somehow related to an eating disorder? This is an ED thread..

[ChuckersT]

Is this somehow related to an eating disorder? This is an ED thread..

Yes. It was a continuation of the post I made right above that one a couple of days ago. This is me gaining weight after a few years with an ED.

[AdamWW]

Yes. It was a continuation of the post I made right above that one a couple of days ago. This is me gaining weight after a few years with an ED.

Ah, i see, i missed that.

You seem to be yo-yo'ing between activities that clearly feed your mental and physical issues alongside a desire to get better.

This isn't an optimal environment to actually get through your problems.

You seem to be sure you have a bad relationship with food and that you're not healthy, and yet you're having 'cheat days' and training by running 50 miles a week, trying to monitor and measure your weight and bodyfat meticulously... it's all over the place.

You need to decide what is most important to you: getting over your disordered lifestyle and relationship with your body, or feeding the bad thought patterns and activities that got you here to begin with.

To be honest I had a hardtime fully grasping what your primary issues - symptom wise - are right now, but I can tell you this:

- Bloating is normal in recovery... even to painful levels
- Fat gain can come quickly, as can water retention, because your body is trying to hold onto the nutrition you're giving it after being starved
- Exercising while trying to recover is just going to make things worse, ESPECIALLY if you can compensatory exercise tendencies, which you clearly do.

Your obsession with being lighter/leaner is directly tied to your activity addiction...

Continuing this kind of high-calorie burn training while trying to recover is like putting an alcoholic who is trying to quit drinking into a bar and saying "hey, be good... maybe have one sip... but that's all"

You can't half-ass this process or you'll just remain in the situation you are in.

[letsallmakeit]

well said. i do have a bit of struggle sometimes i just don’t feel hungry or im stuffed. you experienced this?