Eating Disorder Support Thread: "Take Action" (part 3)

[skinnyandfedup]

@skinnyandfedup

Eating disorders are mental disorders, not physical ones.

Although a person being medically 'underweight' can (and often does) correlate with an eating disorder, it is not always the case. Medical conditions, medication, and statistical variations between individuals can lead to an underweight BMI in the absence of any actual eating disorder.

The BMI scale (which is what you're using to diagnose 'underweight' status) follows a bell-curve, meaning that 50% of people at a 'health/normal' weight should fall in the middle of that spectrum, which is 18.5-24.9 I believe. However, you absolutely CAN be medically underweight by a certain margin and still be healthy, thriving, and totally without an eating disorder. It is not the norm, but it is possible.

That being said, the real question comes down to how you feel, think, and perform.

Eating disorders are (and I'm paraphrasing here) states of being wherein the person experiencing them use control of food, bodyweight, exercise, and other 'tools' to cope other negative or undesirable aspects of their lives. Much like drug addicts and alcoholics use substance-abuse to cope with their problems, those with ED's use control/manipulation of food and/or their bodies to cope with theirs.

If you are underweight and using either exercise and/or food control to maintain that body/weight/etc, then it is highly likely you are living with some degree of an eating disorder.

Again, it ALL depends on your mind. Nobody else can tell you that, simply because you weigh a certain amount or exercise a certain amount, you have an eating disorder.

What I would ask you is this: are you happy with your body? what are your goals? do you control/restrict/manipulate your foods in ANY way in attempt to maintain the weight that your at especially if it goes against your natural hunger cues? If not, then it's definitely possible you're simply a low-appetite 'undereater'. Some people even call this condition a 'disordered eating' scenario, but that is NOT the same as an eating disorder.

For example, someone might be so busy in life that, throughout the day, they get so distracted with other tasks that their honest desire is to do other things rather than eat (or, they simply forget because they prioritize other stuff). However, such a person is not intentionally NOT eating, they aren't TRYING to control weight/food/leanness/etc, they simply don't have 'normal' eating patterns. That is what you'd call 'disordered eating'. It's not really a mental disease, it just means that - for whatever reason - their eating patterns and appetite push them out of eating habits that land them into a normal BMI. This could mean you're underweight, a normal weight, or very very overweight or even obese but it doesn't mean you have an eating disorder.

Contrastingly, an EATING DISORDER requires the intentional control/manipulation/reduction/etc of food/lifestyle/whatever else to COPE WITH OTHER NEGATIVE OR UNDESIRABLE EXPERIENCES in someone's life. This could be anything from just obsessing about being lean/ripped/skinny to fit a social norm or body goal, or it could be something like refusing to eat or controlling your weight because it distracts you from having to confront traumatic experiences.

I hope that distinction makes sense.

So again, here is what I recommend... ask yourself what I asked you: are you happy with your body? what are your goals? do you control/restrict/manipulate your foods in ANY way in attempt to maintain the weight that your at especially if it goes against your natural hunger cues?

Best of luck and feel free to ask anything else.

That was a very good read in that it really has me wondering... Thinking back to the days where I was much much younger. Honestly I've sat and meditated on this, but that came through in my mind in a different way.

Simply put, I have controlled my food intake when I was in my early to mid teens to control a perceived look which I deemed acceptable. My reasons for believing why I did it now, don't exactly fit with how I am now.. example being, I enjoyed being faster then my friends and thought the light weight was part of it. (I know this to be false, I was young) Though, I 100% wouldn't eat at times for fear that would leave. that goes from the age of 12 to almost 17, that I can remember clearly. I've definitely had some weird times in my life with eating. So I've kind of always known it was something "odd". I just hit a certain point in my early 20's where I just chalked it up to extremely poor diet.. Lots of sugar Lots of salt.. If my friends ate that way, they put on weight.. So my thought was always I just have a high metabolism. My family agreed and just figured the older I became the weight would come with it, it hasn't, obviously.

So back to your questions. Am I happy with my body? No and yes... Not exactly the proper answer, but I'll explain why.. No, I want to be bigger, being skinny has a certain view that goes with it, that bothers me.. The reason for yes, is that I'm defined in certain areas and I don't like the flab I guess. I'm very vascular and people see that as part of a cause of being skinny, my veins show absolutely everywhere. fingers, arms, shoulders, legs, feet. (I have stopped letting that bother me though)

I try to set realistic goals, as I don't want to put fat on.. I just want to build muscle. I want to look good and feel good when I look in the mirror. So when I started at 125 lbs earlier this year.. in january, I said 137-140 lbs was a goal by the end of the year. I barely got into the 130's a 3-4 months ago.. I was excited, lol. Figured I was well on my way.. I ended up getting sick, my appetite went away completely.. Some days I might have had a small bag of potato chips and that was it.. others it was a half of a chicken breast and that was enough. 2-3 weeks later, I dropped 15 lbs.. That is currently where I am now and have been for 45 days or so.. I'm doing my best to stay away from a scale. As I'm hoping for a miracle it seems.

So I've been looking into half food, half liquid diets.. Every site I visit has the BEST one for you.. I don't know if doing half and half would "fix me". Though that is where my mind currently is. I feel extremely silly typing this as I know how ridiculous it sounds, though this unfortunately is the reality of my situation. So it's whats brought me to this point.

Thanks for that read though, it definitely has me thinking.

[AdamWW]

That was a very good read in that it really has me wondering... Thinking back to the days where I was much much younger. Honestly I've sat and meditated on this, but that came through in my mind in a different way.

Simply put, I have controlled my food intake when I was in my early to mid teens to control a perceived look which I deemed acceptable. My reasons for believing why I did it now, don't exactly fit with how I am now.. example being, I enjoyed being faster then my friends and thought the light weight was part of it. (I know this to be false, I was young) Though, I 100% wouldn't eat at times for fear that would leave. that goes from the age of 12 to almost 17, that I can remember clearly. I've definitely had some weird times in my life with eating. So I've kind of always known it was something "odd". I just hit a certain point in my early 20's where I just chalked it up to extremely poor diet.. Lots of sugar Lots of salt.. If my friends ate that way, they put on weight.. So my thought was always I just have a high metabolism. My family agreed and just figured the older I became the weight would come with it, it hasn't, obviously.

So back to your questions. Am I happy with my body? No and yes... Not exactly the proper answer, but I'll explain why.. No, I want to be bigger, being skinny has a certain view that goes with it, that bothers me.. The reason for yes, is that I'm defined in certain areas and I don't like the flab I guess. I'm very vascular and people see that as part of a cause of being skinny, my veins show absolutely everywhere. fingers, arms, shoulders, legs, feet. (I have stopped letting that bother me though)

I try to set realistic goals, as I don't want to put fat on.. I just want to build muscle. I want to look good and feel good when I look in the mirror. So when I started at 125 lbs earlier this year.. in january, I said 137-140 lbs was a goal by the end of the year. I barely got into the 130's a 3-4 months ago.. I was excited, lol. Figured I was well on my way.. I ended up getting sick, my appetite went away completely.. Some days I might have had a small bag of potato chips and that was it.. others it was a half of a chicken breast and that was enough. 2-3 weeks later, I dropped 15 lbs.. That is currently where I am now and have been for 45 days or so.. I'm doing my best to stay away from a scale. As I'm hoping for a miracle it seems.

So I've been looking into half food, half liquid diets.. Every site I visit has the BEST one for you.. I don't know if doing half and half would "fix me". Though that is where my mind currently is. I feel extremely silly typing this as I know how ridiculous it sounds, though this unfortunately is the reality of my situation. So it's whats brought me to this point.

Thanks for that read though, it definitely has me thinking.

Definitely some red flags in your post.

I would consider talking to a professional if you can.

[skinnyandfedup]

Definitely some red flags in your post.

I would consider talking to a professional if you can.

lol, I see them myself. Oh well. I'll find my way

Thanks for the responses.

[AdamWW]

lol, I see them myself. Oh well. I'll find my way

Thanks for the responses.

This is not a laughing matter, it is a serious health risk. Take it seriously or keep your commentary to yourself.

[skinnyandfedup]

This is not a laughing matter, it is a serious health risk. Take it seriously or keep your commentary to yourself.

Do you really think I haven't seeked professional help before I came to a forum board to ask about this situation from people I don't know? I don't even know what to say to that.. Common sense... maybe just MAYBE if I was a teenager, I could understand.

I first came here asking if anyone had some simple solutions for how I could intake more calories beyond just eating more.

You completely side stepped the ONE question I asked in my main post here and on the other page. Instead you tell me you see red flags. APPRECIATE IT MAN. yes, I will LOL. Don't worry, I'm gone after this.
Like I said, I'll find my way. We will ALL find our way.

Thanks for blasting me, it felt wonderful. laaates brotha

[AdamWW]

Do you really think I haven't seeked professional help before I came to a forum board to ask about this situation from people I don't know? I don't even know what to say to that.. Common sense... maybe just MAYBE if I was a teenager, I could understand.

I first came here asking if anyone had some simple solutions for how I could intake more calories beyond just eating more.

You completely side stepped the ONE question I asked in my main post here and on the other page. Instead you tell me you see red flags. APPRECIATE IT MAN. yes, I will LOL. Don't worry, I'm gone after this.
Like I said, I'll find my way. We will ALL find our way.

Thanks for blasting me, it felt wonderful. laaates brotha

"blasting" you? da fuq? I meant professional counseling from an ED specialist to assess your preoccupation with being as lean as possible and setting all these body-image specific goals. Everything I said still stands... and I think you need to learn to be a little less sensitive or work on how you interpret forum replies. I'm trying to help. If that isn't what you wanna hear, fine.

Bye.

[PIGGIES]

So whats the key to success and living a healthy life?

[AdamWW]

So whats the key to success and living a healthy life?

Step 1: Find what makes you happy.
Step 2: Do whatever you can do it, as much as possible.

[Grappa]

Cheers guys. Check this out, i have made this to show you, what you can achieve if you really want to kick an ED out of your life. All i can say i have got my LIFE BACK.

[Strawng]

@Grappa
Thanks so much for sharing! So damn inspirational! Reps on RC.

[AdamWW]

@Grappa
Thanks so much for sharing! So damn inspirational! Reps on RC.

x2

Really love seeing your progress and positivity grappa.

Hopefully in 6mo-1year I can share a similar video

[Emoney3636]

Hello, glad i found this sticky. After going through a dramatic weight loss (lots of muscle too) my biggest fear is gaining a lot of fat. Ik i am not fat at 5 11 170 pounds but when i grab my belly i cant help but notice a bit of chub. My worst weight was 126.9. Scary ****, looked about dead.

[AdamWW]

Hello, glad i found this sticky. After going through a dramatic weight loss (lots of muscle too) my biggest fear is gaining a lot of fat. Ik i am not fat at 5 11 170 pounds but when i grab my belly i cant help but notice a bit of chub. My worst weight was 126.9. Scary ****, looked about dead.

Probably best to Not grab your stomach, yeah?

One thing that has helped me through bloating and dealing with weight gain is to just get bigger clothes to fill out, stopping looking at my stomach in mirrors, etc.

I replaced 'ab checks' with 'arm checks'... goal is to grow them of course ;-)

[BennoMac]

Hello, glad i found this sticky. After going through a dramatic weight loss (lots of muscle too) my biggest fear is gaining a lot of fat. Ik i am not fat at 5 11 170 pounds but when i grab my belly i cant help but notice a bit of chub. My worst weight was 126.9. Scary ****, looked about dead.

I agree to this, i was over 300 pounds now under 190 im scared to pack on the pounds again as i still have those sugar cravings and kind of miss the way i used to eat cause it was just easier...
But im so happy with the result and pushing to get lean enough to start a bulk it was keeps me going, set a goal and smash that F#$@ing thing to bits

[Ginaathletic]

What a useful thread!

[Frosty2000]

Hey guys. So I grew up considerd obese , being 300+ lbs at 14 years old. I didn't often weigh myself, but one day I stepped om the scale and saw 280. I said hey this isn't that hard. I didn't try at the time so then I started. I lost 100 lb in about 9 months. I then got down to 170, and thing were going good. I decided to treat myself one day, at a bbq after restricting for a long . A doughnut . And I binged. I didn't know it was a binge at the time, I just moved on and said eh, no big deal. Well it started happening more often. Once a week, until now sometimes every 3 days, every other day. I gained 20 lbs in 3 months. I just can't seem to stop. I stopped counting calories, idc at this point about body composition goals, I just want to be happy and quit this, so then I can move forward with my Life and achieve my goals. What should I do? I'm 16, I love ,love , absolutely lifting weights and being active. When I restricted at first, I was so motivated to see the scale going down, I just ignored the cravings and they eventually went away. But since having that doughnut I got this addiction. I just want it to stop is all.. what should I do?
Thank you guys ! I've also come to a conclusion that being my age, I should not worry much about body comp. So I've switched my focus from weight related goals to weight lifting and hitting new pr's . I just want to stop bingeing ya know?

[Frosty2000]

Any advice?

[Strength93]

Any advice?

I'm the same way. All I want in life is to stop binge eating.

[AdamWW]

Hey guys. So I grew up considerd obese , being 300+ lbs at 14 years old. I didn't often weigh myself, but one day I stepped om the scale and saw 280. I said hey this isn't that hard. I didn't try at the time so then I started. I lost 100 lb in about 9 months. I then got down to 170, and thing were going good. I decided to treat myself one day, at a bbq after restricting for a long . A doughnut . And I binged. I didn't know it was a binge at the time, I just moved on and said eh, no big deal. Well it started happening more often. Once a week, until now sometimes every 3 days, every other day. I gained 20 lbs in 3 months. I just can't seem to stop. I stopped counting calories, idc at this point about body composition goals, I just want to be happy and quit this, so then I can move forward with my Life and achieve my goals. What should I do? I'm 16, I love ,love , absolutely lifting weights and being active. When I restricted at first, I was so motivated to see the scale going down, I just ignored the cravings and they eventually went away. But since having that doughnut I got this addiction. I just want it to stop is all.. what should I do?
Thank you guys ! I've also come to a conclusion that being my age, I should not worry much about body comp. So I've switched my focus from weight related goals to weight lifting and hitting new pr's . I just want to stop bingeing ya know?

Are you sure it's a 'binge'? I ask only because sometimes binging can be mistaken for other things if you're coming from calorie restriction.

Sadly I cannot offer advice on binging specifically as my own issues are different. Have you ever spoken to a professional or your parents about the problem?

[Frosty2000]

Yea, they know about it. It's just if I have one thing, I just saw well screw it I have to have everything in the kitchen. I just can't stop in these moments, it's hard to explain. But each time I have one of these episodes, I lose a little confidence. And it seems like all I want to do is give up and just eat whatever and not challenge myself, but the other half of me is like keep fighting never give up. I don't know. It's just made me so depressed lately and I don't seem to enjoy life as much.

[AdamWW]

Yea, they know about it. It's just if I have one thing, I just saw well screw it I have to have everything in the kitchen. I just can't stop in these moments, it's hard to explain. But each time I have one of these episodes, I lose a little confidence. And it seems like all I want to do is give up and just eat whatever and not challenge myself, but the other half of me is like keep fighting never give up. I don't know. It's just made me so depressed lately and I don't seem to enjoy life as much.

I cannot diagnose you but honestly this sounds more like 'reactive eating' than binging... at least from a clinical diagnosis point of view.

It's important to know the difference because the treatment approaches are very different.

It sounds like you may simply be rebounding from an overly-restrictive period which is very common after you over-diet for so long especially when you're young.

You have nothing to be ashamed of at all, this is pretty damn common and many of us do the exact same thing. You gotta keep that chin up, ya know? One day won't do anything: I know it's hard to believe, but take it from me (I'm twice your age )...it's the truth.

Would you/your parents be willing to schedule an actual session with an ED specialist for them to talk to you about your concerns? It might do you a world of good.

[Frosty2000]

I've tired to maybe explain to them at this time maybe it would be beneficial not to keep tempting items like cookies, sugary cereal, anything sweet really in the house until I can sort this out. But they don't mean anything bad by it, its juSt i have a little brother in the house and he eats sweets a lot and I don't want to be selfish and ask them to take everything out of the house . Idk I just wanna be happy

[Frosty2000]

Ok thanks for the advice !

[AdamWW]

Ok thanks for the advice !

of course.

Just so you know, it's important to keep in mind especially at your age that 'hiding' things from sight to avoid binging is not generally the best approach. Eventually you're going to have to deal with temptations in life as food/sweet/temptation is everywhere. The best thing you can do is relearn how to manage your eating habits and return to a normal thought-process which doesn't revolve so heavily on what you consume.

You don't trust yourself around food, I understand that, but just know that this is all happening for a reason... you went through a period where you taught yourself that being lighter/thinner is the result of restriction, so naturally you're going to want to overcompensate and then feel guilty afterward... it's a classic conditioning issue in your mind.

What therapy can help with is giving you practical approaches to beat out the focus on food avoidance so you can get your priorities back to normal. You should be spending your youth having fun with friends, doing your school stuff, and setting life goals, etc. Food will always be there, and you can enjoy it whenever you want... or not, if you don't want at a given point in time... there's no pressure to eat one way or another.

[Frosty2000]

Thanks your a big help. BTW those are good stats! The day I reach 95 lbs on OHP (being my weakest lift ) will be the day I shout from the rooftops 😂😂 95 being my goal
185 on bench.
And 185 on squat.
And last but not least 315 on deadlift. But deadlifts tricky cuz I have a curved spine so it's a lot harder to have proper form so I have to be careful

[AdamWW]

Thanks your a big help. BTW those are good stats! The day I reach 95 lbs on OHP (being my weakest lift ) will be the day I shout from the rooftops ������������ 95 being my goal
185 on bench.
And 185 on squat.
And last but not least 315 on deadlift. But deadlifts tricky cuz I have a curved spine so it's a lot harder to have proper form so I have to be careful

Sadly those are goals, not current stats

[Frosty2000]

Oh my bad , read those wrong . Well youll get there! We all will eventually !

[JasmineMia]

Hi, I am very new to this, sorry if I'm doing this wrong!!
Last Oct I was sent to hospital with Anorexia Nervosa, after almost one full year of re-feeding I am up to my "min healthy weight" but theres nothing healthy about my eating patterns. This week I ate under 500 calories a day and for the first time in a very, VERY long time (not since last christmas on the fruit cake) , I binged! I feel like this is the turning point, I just cant live with it anymore. I hope that strength training can defy my anorexia because the muscle gains will make me gain weight but make me toned instead of plump, and strong instead of weak, confident instead of self-conscious! My metabolism has slowed down ridiculously, Im terrified of any meals over 200 calories. I have my first gym induction tomorrow and a personal trainer / family friend who lifts who is helping me.

I wondered whether anyone has been in my situo, very slow metabolism + past eating disorder. Did u put away your scales, stop counting calories + eat 'intuitively' and healthy whilst beginning weight training or did u calculate ur calories, add 100 + each week and weigh yourself and ur muscle mass once a week, I dont know the way forward, my slow metabolism scares me and so do the weighing scales, i just want to feel free..

[AdamWW]

Hi, I am very new to this, sorry if I'm doing this wrong!!
Last Oct I was sent to hospital with Anorexia Nervosa, after almost one full year of re-feeding I am up to my "min healthy weight" but theres nothing healthy about my eating patterns. This week I ate under 500 calories a day and for the first time in a very, VERY long time (not since last christmas on the fruit cake) , I binged! I feel like this is the turning point, I just cant live with it anymore. I hope that strength training can defy my anorexia because the muscle gains will make me gain weight but make me toned instead of plump, and strong instead of weak, confident instead of self-conscious! My metabolism has slowed down ridiculously, Im terrified of any meals over 200 calories. I have my first gym induction tomorrow and a personal trainer / family friend who lifts who is helping me.

I wondered whether anyone has been in my situo, very slow metabolism + past eating disorder. Did u put away your scales, stop counting calories + eat 'intuitively' and healthy whilst beginning weight training or did u calculate ur calories, add 100 + each week and weigh yourself and ur muscle mass once a week, I dont know the way forward, my slow metabolism scares me and so do the weighing scales, i just want to feel free..

I am by no means saying this to deter you from coming to these forums for support or advice, but it does sound like your situation warrants a more conventional treatment strategy with a qualified Eating Disorder Specialist who can see you in person.

You mentioned you were hospitalized, but did that involve in-patient medical as well as mental therapy?

My two cents: you need to assess your situation honestly (in other words, being honest with yourself about what you feel you truly need to recover from this), and then figure out a path forward.

You seem to be maintaining a mindset of 'stay as lean as humanly possible' despite reaching what you called a 'min healthy weight'. Again, I am far from an expert, but in general if your mind is still preoccupied with things of this nature (getting only to 'minimum healthy', 'gaining as little fat as possible', etc) then you are nowhere near ready to start exercising on a regular basis. Exercise is extremely healthy and, in my opinion, necessary for a balanced lifestyle, but when you are dealing with restrictive pasts (from ED's) it almost always ends up serving as another coping mechanism and/or tool to control your weight and appearance.

I hope this makes sense, but feel free to ask for clarification if you need.

Finally, I understand you want guidance, but I also sense a desire for comparisons to others, which is also very common among people working through ED's. For this reason, I cannot provide you my approach because I do not think it is wise to compare your body, experiences, process, or path forward to other people. Everyone's road through the recovery process is different, and from what I can tell you're very scared about letting your body change naturally as you live your life.

For that reason, again, I would highly recommend you see a therapist who specializes specifically in ED's who can work you through your body image issues. Your goal should be to return to a 'normal' way of life wherein food and your body image occupied a very, very small portion of your thought process and can be enjoyed rather than controlled.

Hope you are doing OK.

[JasmineMia]

I am by no means saying this to deter you from coming to these forums for support or advice, but it does sound like your situation warrants a more conventional treatment strategy with a qualified Eating Disorder Specialist who can see you in person.

You mentioned you were hospitalized, but did that involve in-patient medical as well as mental therapy?

My two cents: you need to assess your situation honestly (in other words, being honest with yourself about what you feel you truly need to recover from this), and then figure out a path forward.

You seem to be maintaining a mindset of 'stay as lean as humanly possible' despite reaching what you called a 'min healthy weight'. Again, I am far from an expert, but in general if your mind is still preoccupied with things of this nature (getting only to 'minimum healthy', 'gaining as little fat as possible', etc) then you are nowhere near ready to start exercising on a regular basis. Exercise is extremely healthy and, in my opinion, necessary for a balanced lifestyle, but when you are dealing with restrictive pasts (from ED's) it almost always ends up serving as another coping mechanism and/or tool to control your weight and appearance.

I hope this makes sense, but feel free to ask for clarification if you need.

Finally, I understand you want guidance, but I also sense a desire for comparisons to others, which is also very common among people working through ED's. For this reason, I cannot provide you my approach because I do not think it is wise to compare your body, experiences, process, or path forward to other people. Everyone's road through the recovery process is different, and from what I can tell you're very scared about letting your body change naturally as you live your life.

For that reason, again, I would highly recommend you see a therapist who specializes specifically in ED's who can work you through your body image issues. Your goal should be to return to a 'normal' way of life wherein food and your body image occupied a very, very small portion of your thought process and can be enjoyed rather than controlled.

Hope you are doing OK.

Hey , thanks for your reply, I totally get where you are coming from. Recovering from this is really hard and I want to use lifting as a way to switch my mind set to do more positive things for my body and feel able to fuel it more. I have a therapist who feels it is a good idea if it helps me to gain weight. As you said its important not to let it be a coping mechanism. but maybe it will let me love my body as I recognise its strengths.. i hope so ..