Eating Disorder Support Thread: "Take Action" (part 3)

[Grappa]

Update

Met the GP today and had my blood work done for the below:

1) Thyroid
2) Cortisol
3) Blood cell count
4) Electrolytes
5) Liver function
6) White Blood cell count
7) Celiac disease? Gluten intolerance?
8) Kidney functions
9) Testosterone
10) Vit B12 and Vit K

will get the results after 10 days.

Nevertheless, been enjoying food and getting stronger in the gym!

MT

If u have informed them your ED, celiac and gluten test is common, cuz cronic undereating can fk up your digestive system, that is why i am lactose intolerant. I got tested for that too also at early stages, that test requires a FKTON OF BLOOD, so be prepared for that, you ll be drained as fk DD

Also tomorrow, my thyroid gonna get tested again, but woah man why 10 days? When i get a bloodwork, they drain me, and i gonna get results few hours later.

[MosToorani]

If u have informed them your ED, celiac and gluten test is common, cuz cronic undereating can fk up your digestive system, that is why i am lactose intolerant. I got tested for that too also at early stages, that test requires a FKTON OF BLOOD, so be prepared for that, you ll be drained as fk DD

Also tomorrow, my thyroid gonna get tested again, but woah man why 10 days? When i get a bloodwork, they drain me, and i gonna get results few hours later.

it takes around 10 days because we're a developing country and my blood will be shipped overseas haha! Mainly for the Gluten intolerance test!

They didn't take much blood to be honest .. maybe 2 or 3 small tubes .. lol

[Groce]

If u have informed them your ED, celiac and gluten test is common, cuz cronic undereating can fk up your digestive system, that is why i am lactose intolerant. I got tested for that too also at early stages, that test requires a FKTON OF BLOOD, so be prepared for that, you ll be drained as fk DD

Also tomorrow, my thyroid gonna get tested again, but woah man why 10 days? When i get a bloodwork, they drain me, and i gonna get results few hours later.

Does the intolerance go away over time when you start eating more and heal your digestive system?

[Grappa]

Does the intolerance go away over time when you start eating more and heal your digestive system?

Nope, i fked up my digestive system for my entire life, i ll never be able to tolerate lactose anymore. Every time i eat something what contains lactose, i ll throw up, or going to have an explosive diarrhea. It is not fun..

[AdamWW]

Hey ya'll. I've been gone a minute... going to read back everything I've missed. Had an awesome golf trip weekend and as I mentioned been distancing myself from the forums/this thread.

Life is good Hope everyone else has been doing well!

[Strawng]

That bought back a lot of good memories for me I was kinda rusty, but my kicks at leas was on point! D May i ask what type of martial arts u have performed?

In the past I've done Jeet Kune Do, Boxing, Tae Kwon Do, Capoeira, and Kendo. For the last few years I've really been into Muay Thai.

[Strawng]

Nope, i fked up my digestive system for my entire life, i ll never be able to tolerate lactose anymore. Every time i eat something what contains lactose, i ll throw up, or going to have an explosive diarrhea. It is not fun..

This. Unfortunately, when it comes to food intolerances and eating disorders, you're fuked for life. I still can't have even a very small amount of dairy without lactaid pills or else I'll be in absolute agony. Oddly enough, I'm also now allergic to cranberries. Just pray you don't have celiac (unlikely), I know some people who developed it partially due to their EDs and it's a bish to avoid gluten all the time.

[Grappa]

In the past I've done Jeet Kune Do, Boxing, Tae Kwon Do, Capoeira, and Kendo. For the last few years I've really been into Muay Thai.

ooooh Kendo.. I have also mastered armed techniques during the first year of kempo, i have done staffs, nunjaku, chains, and swords But later i have specialised to competetive full combat

[Grappa]

This. Unfortunately, when it comes to food intolerances and eating disorders, you're fuked for life. I still can't have even a very small amount of dairy without lactaid pills or else I'll be in absolute agony. Oddly enough, I'm also now allergic to cranberries. Just pray you don't have celiac (unlikely), I know some people who developed it partially due to their EDs and it's a bish to avoid gluten all the time.

For me pills do not even work, well Mos, as it was mentioned, pray to not have gluten intolerance, that ll going to kill your wallet.

[Grappa]

Hey ya'll. I've been gone a minute... going to read back everything I've missed. Had an awesome golf trip weekend and as I mentioned been distancing myself from the forums/this thread.

Life is good Hope everyone else has been doing well!

Welcome bk, i am glad u have enjoyed your time! \o/

[AdamWW]

Update

I still find myself "needing" to justify my intake on rest days via walking.. at least 10k steps a day ..

Every time i tell myself "just stop walking!" .. I find myself walking around just to reach those 10k steps...

sigh..

MT

My recommendation: stop telling yourself forcefully to make changes if that approach isn't working. Not everyone can stop thinking about the elephant in the room by telling themselves not to think about it; make sense?

Try a different approach, doing things that have nothing to do with explicit exercise... for example, take up a lightly physical hobby that you can 'get into', or a completely non-physical one. If you have time to calculate steps and obsess over them, then I would argue you're spending too much time doing nothing and filling the void with ED things.

Fill your life to the brim with other, meaningful stuff. Not this nonsense.

I agree, Erik..

The issue is ... we don't have professionals here who are specialized in EDs...

That sucks, but you can still do things on your own. Like I said, fill your time, fill your mind, just don't give yourself the opportunity to revert to bad habits.

Oh, and stop posting good pictures on IG and those kinds of things. You're fueling an obsession with food... you need to start thinking about it more normally... and that isn't normal.

I don't like any sort of cardio, unfortunately haha ..

The only benefit to it that sort of convinces me is the cardiovascular benefits, obviously.. on the bright side i guess?

besides that, need to FORCE my brain/myself to actually take a rest day .. like .. no walking.. nothing .. just rest..

MT

Are you sure you care that much about the cardio benefits? I ask because that's what I always told myself... and in retrospect, it was a lie. Many of us do that.

Try being honest with yourself. Do you really think 10k steps a day will help your heart THAT much? I doubt it's much if any different than 9k, or 8k... so why even count? Why is 10k a good number?

You need to stop focusing on arbitrary numbers. You're again feeding the OCD.

I don't know how to ride a bike :P and the weather here isn't so great!

Hate the treadmill as well!

So what I do is walk before I start work .. I usually start work at 7 am .. so, i SORT OF walk to work! on those two rest days!

MT

I truly, truly think you need to stop actively thinking about cardio at all. Just go do 'stuff'. Activity will happen as a byproduct of a balanced life... no need to THINK about steps. Just be a human and move in the process of doing other stuff.

@Strawng great, great post!

Ate around 7000-8000 kcals yesterday, definitely overate but the good thing is, I don't really feel too bad about it and that is probably because I had a great gym session and enjoyed the time with my friends yesterday

That fact that you're estimated calorie figures is concerning in addition to the general binging. Are you benchmarking for something? How do you know you are in this range?

I would also continue to urge you NOT to post calorie numbers here... many people, myself included, are triggered by this.

I think you'll be surprised by how much NOT sharing specifics can benefit YOU personally. When you stop seeking attention or an audience for the problems, you start to appreciate how little people care, and you can just carry on living naturally.

Do not reward yourself with food if u had a great workout, you have to eat as much as u want even if u are not working out, or even if u had the worst workout in the planet.

1000% this.

If you reward yourself with food, it means that you are also punishing yourself with restriction if things don't go well.

very, very bad idea. youre a human, not a dog. you deserve food because you're alive... you didn't beat all the other sperm into the egg just to live with these kinds of self-harming actions.

Love yourself and the fact that you're here... not everyone has it so easy.

[Groce]

Nope, i fked up my digestive system for my entire life, i ll never be able to tolerate lactose anymore. Every time i eat something what contains lactose, i ll throw up, or going to have an explosive diarrhea. It is not fun..

That sucks m8, but can you not take those lactose pills or is it completely off limits now?

[Grappa]

That sucks m8, but can you not take those lactose pills or is it completely off limits now?

Pills does not work for me.

[mclaughlin223]

Hey guys looking for input as to when to start lifting.

The SUPER cliff notes version-recovering from anorexia for last month. Current stats 5'10 and around 112 and religiously eating 3500-4000 calories a day and gaining each week.

I see a therapist and dietitian who are monitoring me and a PCP. I am medically stable and ok to exercise and wondering if I can start lifting now. No one in my treatment team is saying-they deflected when I asked

When did you guys start? Certain BMI? Or when you felt like it?

I have the energY and I am physically stable but wondering if it is possible for my
Body to add muscle at my current weight or I need more fat before it will build muscle.

Would really appreciate any thoughts or personal experiences

[Grappa]

Hey guys looking for input as to when to start lifting.

The SUPER cliff notes version-recovering from anorexia for last month. Current stats 5'10 and around 112 and religiously eating 3500-4000 calories a day and gaining each week.

I see a therapist and dietitian who are monitoring me and a PCP. I am medically stable and ok to exercise and wondering if I can start lifting now. No one in my treatment team is saying-they deflected when I asked

When did you guys start? Certain BMI? Or when you felt like it?

I have the energY and I am physically stable but wondering if it is possible for my
Body to add muscle at my current weight or I need more fat before it will build muscle.

Would really appreciate any thoughts or personal experiences

I am going to share my experiences with u about this, but keep in mind, your med team should decide if u are rdy to lift or not, not us/you. I have started when my blood work was ok, i was mentally stable, during that time i started to feel more energetic, etc, i was not light headed 24/7, the edema went away, i was not in pain cuz of the excess fluid around my joints, so i was able to move. Lifting is awesome, and i like it, but my body comp changing not in a best way, so it is kinda a turture for me now, cuz i am hypermetabolic, + i have to be in a fking big surplus in order to gain fat, which is neccesary right now for me.

But keep in mind this: DO NOT LIFT, OR DO ANY PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES IN ORDER TO EAT MORE!!!!!!! MY #1 rule: Do what u like, never force yourself to do it, do it for entertainment. Hope this helps someway

[MosToorani]

@Adam

I don't calculate the steps lol .. My phone, which is in my pocket all the time (work phone) does..

I walk an hour or two before work starts .. we start work at 7 AM, i either wake up at 4 am or 5 am .. get ready and go to work .. so the walking happens while commuting to work .. I can obviously drive to work, but as you said, the obsession of walking, which stems from the thought of (you're eating too much for a 'rest day', 'unnecessary fat gains') forces me to choose walking instead of driving to work

It's not that I hate walking, I just don't want to feel that I'm FORCED to do it .. again, it's the fear of gaining fat too quickly .. I'm trying to fix that aspect .. I've reduced my walking from 4 times a week to 3 times .. hopefully just twice a week and then to once (once is the family activity thing on fridays).

10k steps had been a benchmark for me for the past couple of years, since i had my disc herniated and then operated. so yeah, it's just a benchmark that I've always tried to achieve since my surgery.

P.s the instagram posts? I love food .. I'm not obsessed over it .. It's a reminder to everyone that eating the types of food that I eat will not kill you.. It's a reminder to myself not to restrict my total intake .. I love ice cream and it's my "saving grace" in this battle.

Once again, got to tell you, the walking happens before work or during work .. when i say during work, what I mean is the usual 3-5 minute walk every hour or so for stretching purposes .. the phone calculates the steps .. not me lol ..

MT

[MosToorani]

But keep in mind this: DO NOT LIFT, OR DO ANY PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES IN ORDER TO EAT MORE!!!!!!! MY #1 rule: Do what u like, never force yourself to do it, do it for entertainment. Hope this helps someway

I'm starting to love... absolutely love .. lifting.. it takes me an hour or hour 15 minutes max compared to before where it took me 2 to 2.5 hours (shame on me)

Even missing "gym" on rest days haha

MT

[AdamWW]

@Adam

P.s the instagram posts? I love food .. I'm not obsessed over it .. It's a reminder to everyone that eating the types of food that I eat will not kill you.. It's a reminder to myself not to restrict my total intake .. I love ice cream and it's my "saving grace" in this battle.

MT

I guess i'm having a hard time understanding how 99%+ (literally) of your posts there could be of food if you're not constantly thinking about food, which is usually a sign of restriction.

I'm not saying you're lying or hiding something, it's just hard to wrap my head around. It seems like the pattern of eating huge volumes of low-calorie items, like carrots and lettuce, in order to hoard calories for ice cream, etc, is still there and proliferated by that kind of constant archiving of hyper-palatable items.

The reason that can be concerning, in my opinion, is that you're essentially eating polarizing things on purpose: you stuff yourself with items to keep full enough to negate the calorie content of things like ice cream and other stuff so you can consume them without guilty or to reduce the guilt. It's kind of like the balancing act you've mentioned with walking, only in this case you're rewarding commonly-held 'good' eating habits (veggies) with commonly-held 'bad' habits (ice cream and treats). Again, i'm not saying that's what you're doing, but it SEEMS like maybe it factors into it.

Just my 2 cents.

[MosToorani]

I guess i'm having a hard time understanding how 99%+ (literally) of your posts there could be of food if you're not constantly thinking about food, which is usually a sign of restriction.

I'm not saying you're lying or hiding something, it's just hard to wrap my head around. It seems like the pattern of eating huge volumes of low-calorie items, like carrots and lettuce, in order to hoard calories for ice cream, etc, is still there and proliferated by that kind of constant archiving of hyper-palatable items.

The reason that can be concerning, in my opinion, is that you're essentially eating polarizing things: you stuff yourself with items to keep full enough to negate the calorie content of things like ice cream and other stuff so you can consume them without guilty or to reduce the guilt. Again, i'm not saying that's what you're doing, but it SEEMS like maybe it factors into it.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers for that..

I fit the treats on rest days into my caloric intake .. treats could be chocolate, ice cream, baked goods etc..

I don't post inspirational sh** on IG because I'm not into that .. I don't post pics of myself in the gym, because again, I'm not into that sort of thing .. I post pics of food, review them and get quite a bit of feedback from the people in my country, family, friends etc.. saves a bit of $$$ for them as well..

Anyways .. if what you wrote is your opinion of my life purely based on my IG posts .. then so be it .. nothing wrong with being .. wrong ..

Maybe you'd like me to share what I eat in a day? on rest days and on workout days? If not, then let me tell you that I eat ice cream or a whole bar of chocolate 2-3 times a week only.. i eat fruits + veggies + yoghurt etc everyday .. and i've been doing that for years .. because i love it .. not because it's low in calorie

MT

[AdamWW]

Cheers for that..

I fit the treats on rest days into my caloric intake .. treats could be chocolate, ice cream, baked goods etc..

I don't post inspirational sh** on IG because I'm not into that .. I don't post pics of myself in the gym, because again, I'm not into that sort of thing .. I post pics of food, review them and get quite a bit of feedback from the people in my country, family, friends etc.. saves a bit of $$$ for them as well..

Anyways .. if what you wrote is your opinion of my life purely based on my IG posts .. then so be it .. nothing wrong with being .. wrong ..

Maybe you'd like me to share what I eat in a day? on rest days and on workout days? If not, then let me tell you that I eat ice cream or a whole bar of chocolate 2-3 times a week only.. i eat fruits + veggies + yoghurt etc everyday .. and i've been doing that for years .. because i love it .. not because it's low in calorie

MT

You seem defensive, but I'm not sure why. I literally wrote ' I could be wrong ' and ' I'm not saying you're lying '... I even said ' I have a hard time understanding '.

This was me trying to get your explanation of the situation. I'm not sure what harm there is in that.

Best of luck.

[MosToorani]

You seem defensive, but I'm not sure why. I literally wrote ' I could be wrong ' and ' I'm not saying you're lying '... I even said ' I have a hard time understanding '.

This was me trying to get your explanation of the situation. I'm not sure what harm there is in that.

Best of luck.

I'm sorry bro .. I apologize if I came out as defensive .. I certainly didn't mean to ..

It's just 8 AM at the moment, at work and haven't had a proper dose of caffeine yet to wake me up lol ..

I absolutely appreciate your advise .. I seriously do .. I'd take the extra "bro love" step and say I love the advise that you've given me .. and everyone else have given me as well!

Once again, sorry man ..

and btw, forgot, welcome back bud, I'm glad you enjoyed the golf weekend! You've definitely been missed!

MT

[Grappa]

@Mos, food pics on insta, if u are not doing it for attention purposes, is shouting from an ED, srsly, who the fk cares about a tub of icecream, or a bar of chocolate? I was in that shoes when i started my recovery, 24/7 i was thinking about food, while eating a fkton of it, i even felt disconnected from reality when i stuffed myself with food, that point i tought i have developed BED, cuz i was powerless to put down the fork, i had no idea how full feels, i just eaten and eaten and eaten and still felt hungry, it was scary. I **** u not, i even DREAMED ABOUT FKING FOOD. That night i realised i do not have BED, cuz there is a hungarian saying: " Hungry pig dreams about acron." I was just god damn hungry, and i am glad i have not restriced myself during that time. Also this is so typical: I used to love cooking food, loved making beautidul plates, i have spent hours and hours in the kitchen. But now.... I am good at microwaving things... I fking hate to cook, and i would rather spend my time on more enjoyable things rather than doing random stuff in the kitchen.

[MosToorani]

@Mos, food pics on insta, if u are not doing it for attention purposes, is shouting from an ED, srsly, who the fk cares about a tub of icecream, or a bar of chocolate? I was in that shoes when i started my recovery, 24/7 i was thinking about food, while eating a fkton of it, i even felt disconnected from reality when i stuffed myself with food, that point i tought i have developed BED, cuz i was powerless to put down the fork, i had no idea how full feels, i just eaten and eaten and eaten and still felt hungry, it was scary. I **** u not, i even DREAMED ABOUT FKING FOOD. That night i realised i do not have BED, cuz there is a hungarian saying: " Hungry pig dreams about acron." I was just god damn hungry, and i am glad i have not restriced myself during that time. Also this is so typical: I used to love cooking food, loved making beautidul plates, i have spent hours and hours in the kitchen. But now.... I am good at microwaving things... I fking hate to cook, and i would rather spend my time on more enjoyable things rather than doing random stuff in the kitchen.

I love food and I love cooking .. I always wanted to be a chef but that dream got shot-down due to "cultural reasons" .. bla bla ..

I just love posting pics of foods i eat and i review them.. that's all .. there is nothing more to it ..

I work from 7 AM to 4 PM .. hit the gym and get back home by 6 PM .. spend 3 hours having dinner and socializing with the family .. sleep at 10 pm .. that's my week day in a nutshell ..

weekends involve more socializing ..

I'm not restricting as to the types of food that I eat .. I'm just eating the 'junk' food whenever it fits my intake .. that's all..
I prefer micro-nutrient dense foods because i actually love that type of food .. I don't know why it's difficult to understand.

MT

[Grappa]

I love food and I love cooking .. I always wanted to be a chef but that dream got shot-down due to "cultural reasons" .. bla bla ..

I just love posting pics of foods i eat and i review them.. that's all .. there is nothing more to it ..

I work from 7 AM to 4 PM .. hit the gym and get back home by 6 PM .. spend 3 hours having dinner and socializing with the family .. sleep at 10 pm .. that's my week day in a nutshell ..

weekends involve more socializing ..

I'm not restricting as to the types of food that I eat .. I'm just eating the 'junk' food whenever it fits my intake .. that's all..
I prefer micro-nutrient dense foods because i actually love that type of food .. I don't know why it's difficult to understand.

MT

U eat what the fk u want, i have not even mentioned your food choices. But maybe u are not restricting the types of food what u eat, but u are restricting the amount. You are eating a set number every day, no more, no less. Do you ever felt hungry even if u have reached your intake goal? If yes, did u eat some more? You have to listen to your body. Every day is different, your body's energy demand is different every god damn day.

[Bonnappe]

That fact that you're estimated calorie figures is concerning in addition to the general binging. Are you benchmarking for something? How do you know you are in this range?

I would also continue to urge you NOT to post calorie numbers here... many people, myself included, are triggered by this.

I think you'll be surprised by how much NOT sharing specifics can benefit YOU personally. When you stop seeking attention or an audience for the problems, you start to appreciate how little people care, and you can just carry on living naturally.

Just an estimate which I'm quite sure was pretty close since I have been tracking calories for wayyy too long in the past

Don't really know what I wanted when I posted the amount of calories, just saying what happened, definitely not seeking attention by doing so and will not do in the future

Hey guys looking for input as to when to start lifting.

The SUPER cliff notes version-recovering from anorexia for last month. Current stats 5'10 and around 112 and religiously eating 3500-4000 calories a day and gaining each week.

I see a therapist and dietitian who are monitoring me and a PCP. I am medically stable and ok to exercise and wondering if I can start lifting now. No one in my treatment team is saying-they deflected when I asked

When did you guys start? Certain BMI? Or when you felt like it?

I have the energY and I am physically stable but wondering if it is possible for my
Body to add muscle at my current weight or I need more fat before it will build muscle.

Would really appreciate any thoughts or personal experiences

When I was around 110 lbs at 6'3 (yes slightly taller but still quite similar) I had no energy to even walk, just had to lay in my bed all day, I would not suggest you to start lifting yet

I remember you used to post in here right? May I ask how has your progress/battle with your eating disorder been going since you last visited this thread?

[AdamWW]

Hey guys looking for input as to when to start lifting.

The SUPER cliff notes version-recovering from anorexia for last month. Current stats 5'10 and around 112 and religiously eating 3500-4000 calories a day and gaining each week.

I see a therapist and dietitian who are monitoring me and a PCP. I am medically stable and ok to exercise and wondering if I can start lifting now. No one in my treatment team is saying-they deflected when I asked

When did you guys start? Certain BMI? Or when you felt like it?

I have the energY and I am physically stable but wondering if it is possible for my
Body to add muscle at my current weight or I need more fat before it will build muscle.

Would really appreciate any thoughts or personal experiences

Your situation will depend on your own biology and your health markers, but also your mental state.

You cannot take a single piece in isolation and deem that it is OK to lift.

You don't need to HAVE fat to build muscle, but you should expect to gain fat while doing it to some degree unless you are a special exception... it's healthy and you should WANT that to happen.

However, I think you first need to ask yourself WHY you are so anxious to start lifting when, really, your #1 priority should be mental and physical health restoration. If you're as light as you say, getting to a healthy bodyweight and restoring normality should take priority WAY over lifting and how you look.

It seems like, maybe, you're hung up on the aesthetic a little too much still and need evaluate why you're doing what you're doing.

[dashdash89]

Went out for the first time in a long time and ate without regard for my health. This probably sounds bad, but what I mean is that I gave no thought to the number of calories I was consuming; just enjoyed my night.
Anyways, I have a question. When I first started eating like a normal human again, I noticed a huge spike in libido. This didn't last long, however. It seems to have fallen back almost to what it was before on such low calories. I got some bloodwork done and everything came out great, though my total testosterone was low (but not deficient) for my age. If this is because of my low body weight or body fat %, then I'm just wondering how long till it normalizes. I've considered speaking to an endocrinologist, but I am most likely just over thinking this

[AdamWW]

@stawng and/or @grappa and/or @sonny

I have some recovery related questions I could use feedback on but i'd like to avoid triggering anyone else in here. Would any of you be willing to exchange PM's on here? Just wanted some feedback about a couple things.

[Grappa]

@stawng and/or @grappa and/or @sonny

I have some recovery related questions I could use feedback on but i'd like to avoid triggering anyone else in here. Would any of you be willing to exchange PM's on here? Just wanted some feedback about a couple things.

SURE! Any time u have some deep question u can send me a pm!

[Grappa]

^ I am gonna walk my doge fast, so brb in 10-15 mins.