Eating Disorder Support Thread: "Take Action" (part 3)

[AdamWW]

Exactly one week binge free! Used to binge 2-3 x a week

congrats!

[Grappa]

Exactly one week binge free! Used to binge 2-3 x a week

Congrats! Keep doing the good work!

[Grappa]

I eat around 2.2k .. half before and half after.. weight is going up, I think!

Listen. The amount you eat is what little kids eat. And i am talking about a 8-9 year old kid. Keep this in mind this is really true: More food = more workload you can handle. This means you will going to have better performance. Adding 100 calories is not a way to go. It is like eating 2 more apples a day?... Come on.... Be a man and pick up the fork, gaining weight is not about eating this little more. First of all the MINIMUM should be for you ar least 3-3.5k. Have you seen how much your friends eat? If yes, keep in mind this. Are they obese? Are they overweight? No. I have seen this myself, my friends who does almost 0 activity eats a lot. Why? Cuz they are god damn young as you. At this intake your body will slowly going to eat itself away, and you dare to lift weight in this tiny amount will lead you to a terrible place. Gaining weight is not about adding small amount of intake no!!! You have to ramp up things in order to see changes. Trust me, more food will lead you to better performance and if you want to gain muscle it is all about gym performance not pinching you belly to feel the layer of fat in you. I am really sorry to be a bit harsh with you but i feel like i have to raise my voice a bit to get this message to your head.

[Grappa]

And trust your body, go with your hunger flows, not as a set number. Why? Your daily energy need VARIES A LOT!!!!! Yes i am hypermetabolic but my MINIMUM is 5-5500 a day. This is what i am hitting every god damn day. If i am hungrier for some reason i eat more. Not cuz i am having binge tendencies, but cuz my body shouts for more food.

[MosToorani]

If you legitimately added 100 calories with ZERO change to actvity... it'd take you over a month to gain a single pound.... I think you're being a bit fearful of adding energy to your diet maybe?

Baby steps?

[MosToorani]

And trust your body, go with your hunger flows, not as a set number. Why? Your daily energy need VARIES A LOT!!!!! Yes i am hypermetabolic but my MINIMUM is 5-5500 a day. This is what i am hitting every god damn day. If i am hungrier for some reason i eat more. Not cuz i am having binge tendencies, but cuz my body shouts for more food.

It doesn't make sense then! I'm not defying science here!

If with my current intake i'm gaining weight, then what is the explanation behind it?! I'm not a special person that is defying science here!

Unfortunately, I'm not gifted with a beautiful metabolism. I WISH I could eat 3,000 calories and NOT gain weight.. I WISH .. but I have to face reality and accept that eating 2,200 will make me gain weight of 2 lbs a month (or something like that).

Even the online calculators are saying the same thing for a person with my height, weight and activity. It's an approximate number but it's pretty damn close!

Trust me man, I would LOVE to eat more in order to gain weight at a reasonable amount. TRUST me! haha

[MosToorani]

Exactly one week binge free! Used to binge 2-3 x a week

Congratulations, buddy!!

[AdamWW]

It doesn't make sense then! I'm not defying science here!

If with my current intake i'm gaining weight, then what is the explanation behind it?! I'm not a special person that is defying science here!

Unfortunately, I'm not gifted with a beautiful metabolism. I WISH I could eat 3,000 calories and NOT gain weight.. I WISH .. but I have to face reality and accept that eating 2,200 will make me gain weight of 2 lbs a month (or something like that).

Even the online calculators are saying the same thing for a person with my height, weight and activity. It's an approximate number but it's pretty damn close!

Trust me man, I would LOVE to eat more in order to gain weight at a reasonable amount. TRUST me! haha

I understand you might be in a different place physically than me, or grappa, or many other folks... and it probably compounds your anxiety around fat gain having come from an overweight past (I myself was quite chubby in high school... that is my past as well... hence I fear going BACK to that body much of the time), but i think you're focusing on repairing the wrong things and/or losing sight of what your own recovery should be.

Your recovery, to me, SOUNDS like a mental one first and physical one second. I understand you feel that, because you're not extremely underweight or bed-ridden because you're too thin to move, you think that the idea of intuitive eating and trusting your body doesn't apply... but it does, or it should.

The fact that you're so, so specific with adding only 100 calories suggests that you're still under the impression that any food you don't track is just going to spill over and cause some kind of irreversible damage.

THAT, my friend, is the message your ED is jamming into your head that you need to ignore... you gotta break free of that fear.

And honestly, what if you did gain 5 pounds, or 10 pounds, OR 20+ pounds in the process? Would you be less healthy, really? Would your life expectancy change? Would your blood markers worsen? No... they wouldn't...

You'd come out of it the same way you went in, still the same person, but with a newfound freedom where you didn't have to dissect your every grain of rice or track everything like you're doing.

[MosToorani]

@Adam..

I know what you're saying man. You're right and I have accepted it as the issue that I'm facing and I will overcome it eventually! I don't know when, but I know I will!

The issue that I'm currently facing is the lack of desire/motivation to go to the gym and lift weights...

For example, in the past, even with the same ED and fear of gaining weight bla bla, at least I was motivated to workout in the gym .. Now i'm not at all .. I'd rather just sit infront of the TV and eat food?

I have accepted weight gain .. I ate my "workout calories" today although I didn't go to the gym .. small victory? no?

What I'm asking is.. Have you guys faced the same lack in desire/motivation to go to the gym? If so, how did you overcome it? Just ate more food? So if I eat more, ill get motivated to lift weights? is that what you're telling me?

MT

[AdamWW]

@Adam..

I know what you're saying man. You're right and I have accepted it as the issue that I'm facing and I will overcome it eventually! I don't know when, but I know I will!

The issue that I'm currently facing is the lack of desire/motivation to go to the gym and lift weights...

For example, in the past, even with the same ED and fear of gaining weight bla bla, at least I was motivated to workout in the gym .. Now i'm not at all .. I'd rather just sit infront of the TV and eat food?

I have accepted weight gain .. I ate my "workout calories" today although I didn't go to the gym .. small victory? no?

What I'm asking is.. Have you guys faced the same lack in desire/motivation to go to the gym? If so, how did you overcome it? Just ate more food? So if I eat more, ill get motivated to lift weights? is that what you're telling me?

MT

Absolutely I have had motivation issues. Mine usually just stem from life stress, feeling like there's no purpose in going at all if I'm not going to be able to lift optimally... etc... or just random bouts where, for some odd reason, I DGAF.... who knows why!

What gets me BACK in the gym is that I know AFTER the workout is done, I always feel better and more accomplished....

That, and recently I've been more able to objectively look at my body and ED recovery goals and understand that I need to TRY to make things happen sometimes. For eating, I need to be less rigid, but with lifting I am trying to do programs that allows me to see the numbers go up, and up, and up...

I'm weak enough and light enough right now that my body is like a blank canvas... I could literally go from my current, weak-ass lifts to very respectable numbers in only 3-4 months... I've done it before... and knowing how far I could go in a short period of time is very motivating to me. It's also kind of a mystery: how strong CAN I get? How big CAN I get? I really wanna know

[MosToorani]

@Adam..

Thanks for that!

I think after reading what you wrote .. I believe there might be two reasons actually ... I'm just thinking out loud here ..

I think the lack of desire is from feeling weak in the gym, not progressing .. and, since I got used to having a larger dinner on days that I somewhat do IF (non-lifting days), i'm demotivated to eat half of the calories before my workout so that i can save those calories, skip the workout, and just eat a larger meal at night .. <<< that really sounded fuked up but i hope you understood what i wrote?

I don't know .. if i start eating 2,300 or even 2,500 ... i think the rapid increase in weight gain will just make me go back to the "dieting" mind set .. I'm worried about that as well .. it seems like that I would accept a much slower weight gain which comes with lack of motivation on some days to go to the gym .. than a faster rate in weight gain but higher motivation to go to the gym?

Ah.. I don't know If I even make sense ..

Time to sleep ..

Goodnight lads and ladettes ..

[Grappa]

It doesn't make sense then! I'm not defying science here!

If with my current intake i'm gaining weight, then what is the explanation behind it?! I'm not a special person that is defying science here!

Unfortunately, I'm not gifted with a beautiful metabolism. I WISH I could eat 3,000 calories and NOT gain weight.. I WISH .. but I have to face reality and accept that eating 2,200 will make me gain weight of 2 lbs a month (or something like that).

Even the online calculators are saying the same thing for a person with my height, weight and activity. It's an approximate number but it's pretty damn close!

Trust me man, I would LOVE to eat more in order to gain weight at a reasonable amount. TRUST me! haha

Recovering from an ED has a part when you have to accept fat gain as a natural thing, not a negative thing. That is why i suggest you to eat more and more. Dude, i have almost died from malnourishment, my heart was too weak that the docs overdosed me on adrenaline to keep my hr up. I have lost my sight, i could only hear things etc. And the most horrific was when the docs told my parents that they ll od me on morphine so i can die without suffering. AND I HEARD EVERYTHING, just i was unable to speak. After this kind of experience i started to eat like a madman, even if i end up obese, or anything, cuz AT LEAST I LIVE! I do not even know how i am still alive, but i am glad i have made this step, and pushed trough my self destructive, addictive behaviours.

[AdamWW]

@Adam..

Thanks for that!

I think after reading what you wrote .. I believe there might be two reasons actually ... I'm just thinking out loud here ..

I think the lack of desire is from feeling weak in the gym, not progressing .. and, since I got used to having a larger dinner on days that I somewhat do IF (non-lifting days), i'm demotivated to eat half of the calories before my workout so that i can save those calories, skip the workout, and just eat a larger meal at night .. <<< that really sounded fuked up but i hope you understood what i wrote?

I don't know .. if i start eating 2,300 or even 2,500 ... i think the rapid increase in weight gain will just make me go back to the "dieting" mind set .. I'm worried about that as well .. it seems like that I would accept a much slower weight gain which comes with lack of motivation on some days to go to the gym .. than a faster rate in weight gain but higher motivation to go to the gym?

Ah.. I don't know If I even make sense ..

Time to sleep ..

Goodnight lads and ladettes ..

You're talking about such small changes in calorie intake that you'd never even notice the shift....

If you add 100 calories, like I said, that'd take you over a MONTH to gain a single pound of actual weight. However, just walking a single mile burns about 100 calories anyway... so you'd likely not even gain that. Also, you can't just weigh yourself ONE DAY and then say you gained weight, because weight changes EVERY day. I've dropped as much as 2-3 pounds or gained as much as 2-3 pounds in a single day during normal eating patterns... it's life... it shifts crap around.

I really do think you're overthinking the entire process. You need to free your mind.

Numbers are just numbers.... it doesn't make you who you are. Just think about feeling good and do what you need to to get there.

Counting calories and all this clearly doesn't give you any satisfaction at all.

[samcanread]

Hello guys, first time poster here. Decided to join for this forum, since it seems to be an effective and helpful support group. Little backstory, I've had disordered eating habits for a long time but largely recovered, and began powerlifting (first meet is this September!!). In February, I decided I wanted to cut a few winter pounds. Downloaded MFP, the works. Backfired *horribly*, so I stopped. I'm trying to eat intuitively now while continuing building strength, but I'm having a hard time reconciling mindful eating, with eating enough for my activity level. We've all been there-- ya gotta eat the damn chicken and rice to fuel yourself, but damn if you don't hate every bite of it at times. So, yadda yadda. nice to meetcha guys

[AdamWW]

Hello guys, first time poster here. Decided to join for this forum, since it seems to be an effective and helpful support group. Little backstory, I've had disordered eating habits for a long time but largely recovered, and began powerlifting (first meet is this September!!). In February, I decided I wanted to cut a few winter pounds. Downloaded MFP, the works. Backfired *horribly*, so I stopped. I'm trying to eat intuitively now while continuing building strength, but I'm having a hard time reconciling mindful eating, with eating enough for my activity level. We've all been there-- ya gotta eat the damn chicken and rice to fuel yourself, but damn if you don't hate every bite of it at times. So, yadda yadda. nice to meetcha guys

Welcome to the recovery thread.

Congratulations on your power lifting quest and good luck on the September event!

I'm curious, when you say you've had disordered habits for a long time, was it an actual disorder or do you simply find yourself not eating intuitively and thinking too actively about tracking the numbers? I ask because both 'disordered eating habits' and 'eating disorders' can display those symptoms, but treating an eating disorder is a little different. Just wondering if you had a clinical diagnosis or if you simply noticed the habits on your own.

Also, was the whole MFP/February period just last month? How exactly did it 'backfire'?

As for the chicken and rice, I say ditch it and eat something you ENJOY more... no reason to block out foods.. no reason for that whatsoever.

Cheers.

[sonnydfrizzy]

MosToorani



STOP. QUANTIFYING. YOUR. HEALTH. WITH. NUMBERS.


Ditch the scale. Ditch the low fat, disordered diet. Stop tracking. Eat like a normal person.

You know why you gain on such little food? You're hormonally a mess! You do not eat properly and do not eat fat! That is terrible for your health.

[Grappa]

Hello guys, first time poster here. Decided to join for this forum, since it seems to be an effective and helpful support group. Little backstory, I've had disordered eating habits for a long time but largely recovered, and began powerlifting (first meet is this September!!). In February, I decided I wanted to cut a few winter pounds. Downloaded MFP, the works. Backfired *horribly*, so I stopped. I'm trying to eat intuitively now while continuing building strength, but I'm having a hard time reconciling mindful eating, with eating enough for my activity level. We've all been there-- ya gotta eat the damn chicken and rice to fuel yourself, but damn if you don't hate every bite of it at times. So, yadda yadda. nice to meetcha guys

Good job with the recovery! My advice is just eat whatever you want, you are an athlete, you have to perform the best at your sport!!

[Grappa]

MosToorani



STOP. QUANTIFYING. YOUR. HEALTH. WITH. NUMBERS.


Ditch the scale. Ditch the low fat, disordered diet. Stop tracking. Eat like a normal person.

You know why you gain on such little food? You're hormonally a mess! You do not eat properly and do not eat fat! That is terrible for your health.

Listen to him mos! You know what btw? Try this out: Eat the same as u do now. BUT I assume you eat meat, switch your lean meats to chicken thighs (eat the god damn skin do not dare to peel it off), eat whole eggs, instead of that disgusting egg whites. Do this for 2 weeks and after 2 weeks see how u feel.

[AdamWW]

Listen to him mos! You know what btw? Try this out: Eat the same as u do now. BUT I assume you eat meat, switch your lean meats to chicken thighs (eat the god damn skin do not dare to peel it off), eat whole eggs, instead of that disgusting egg whites. Do this for 2 weeks and after 2 weeks see how u feel.

One thing I also like to do right now, is instead of water or calorie-free drinks with meals, I will make a smoothie: 1 banana, 1 tbsp of PB, almond milk, and some cinnamon or cocoa... blend it up with a little ice...

That's a nice 250-300 calorie boost every time i eat on stop of the other food calories

[MosToorani]

@Adam, @Grappa & @Sonny

Thank you so much guys. What you've advised has been enlightening to be honest.

I need to be accountable for my actions. I want to see my performance in the gym get better and better and I want to see my lifts/strength go up and up and up!

It's absolutely difficult to completely overcome my OCD overnight .. So what i'll be doing is solve one issue while I have a grasp/control on the other.

I'll be taking this bulk seriously and therefore, on lifting days (3 times a week), I'll eat 2,300 calories and on rest days i'll stick to 2,100.

I'll take my moving average weigh-ins for the next two weeks, starting Saturday (clean slate) and i'll assess weight gain/loss.

It's difficult but at least i'll try to overcome that gaining weight is part of the process of getting stronger.

I've already increased my fat intake since the last time Sonny advised me to. Therefore, minimum fat is 0.3-0.35 grams per lb of body weight, 1g protein per lb of body weight and the rest carbs.

I'd need to bring more "low calorie" snacks to the office so that at least I can munch on and not think about food all the time.

Additionally, I wanted to get this off my chest. I wake up every single day hungry, every day as far as I remember (except those massive binge days where I used to eat 8k+ the day before). I think of binging on food every single day but I fight it because I know if i give-in to that then it will lead to a vicious cycle.

Once again, I'm grateful for joining this forum/thread and I really appreciate all the support/advice I'm getting from you guys.

I appreciate any comments, guys.

MT

[AdamWW]

@mosT

I gotta be honest... as much as it makes me smile to hear you WANT to get stronger, I'm not sure you're attacking the actual issue.

You're still using specific numbers, still adjusting differently for different days, and still consuming extremely low fat (.3-.35 grams is VERY low).

You're also talking about bringing only low calorie snacks with you, which speaks again to the fear of weight gain and fear of losing control.

The fact that you wake up so hungry with these urges to binge is both a matter of your mental issues with 'fear foods' and maybe even some level of nutritional deficiency (could be calories in general, or could be specific nutrients, I don't know).



Now, I don't have as much experience with TRUE binges (I don't think), but I do know that - back when I originally got VERY, VERY skinny (like, 10pounds+ LESS than I am now) - I would have a day/meal every week that was probably close to 4000 calories in a single sitting. At the time, I was exercising a lot, and on non-'binge' days I would eat something like 1500-1600 calories. Then I'd go out to dinner with my friend, order an appetizer, an entree, and cheesecake with ice cream. A HUGE meal. For the previous days in the week, my digestion was so messed up and I wasn't 'regular'... then, on the binge day... my body would become shocked with the influx of food and the cramping and pressure was excruciating... it was a cycle that kept because the rest of the time, I ate NOTHING that I 'feared'.

I don't want to see you make those same mistakes and have to suffer.

It does sound like you're demonizing foods, and that's why you crave these binges or cheat meals/days... you don't trust yourself because you fear you'll get back into your past processes. BELIEVE ME I get it.

The thing is.. that simply isn't going to happen, not as I see it based on how you're thinking now. When have you ever heard of someone with an ED, especially a restrictive eating disorder, suddenly flip-flopping and becoming massively overweight from choosing a balanced diet that allows for some 'fun' foods? It doesn't need to be an ALL OR NOTHING thing, and as much as I hate to say this.... sometimes if you're in recovery, just listening to your body EVEN IF IT MEANS EATING A BUNCH OF 'FEAR FOODS' is the best thing for you... and I mean that BOTH mentally and physically.

These baby steps, although I understand why you're doing it, are still feeding the fear. You're planning on CLOSELY monitoring your weight gain because you fear it somehow getting out of hand... you're increasing calories by JUST a little bit and ONLY on days when you're training. What about the days when you're recovering? Why don't you feel you need calories then, too?



Again I'm NOT saying this to bash you... you should be happy you're trying to improve... but in my honest opinion, your 'baby steps', if you're going to avoid going 'cold turkey', shouldn't be to simply loosen the controls you have in place... you should REMOVE entire control systems one-by-one.

What I'd love for you to try, is to simply stop counting your calories. Just don't track them at all... for say, 1-2 weeks.

Feel free to weigh yourself if you cannot bring yourself to stop... feel free to look in the mirror to 'check' for fat gain if you really cannot resist... but just REMOVE the control of tracking calories.

You seem to have several vices/methods in place that reinforce your fears:

- Tracking calories
- Tracking your weight
- Tracking/monitoring your visual fat/water/shape changes
etc...etc...


I know it SOUNDS like progress to modify the controls you have, but without REMOVING the control, you're not actually exposing yourself to something new or challenging your mental problems with a new approach... you're basically just replacing one obsession in the SAME control system with new details... adding little by little, taking out little by little, but the control is still there.

Hopefully that makes sense....

[AdamWW]

Adding to the above... I honestly do not think it was until I completely started removing my controls that I realize how much THEY were controlling me...

It's an addiction... and you don't cure an addiction by reducing the dose...

You can't just tell a heroine addict to take 1/2 the amount of drugs... you can't just tell an alcoholic to one day start drinking less...

If you're still exposing an addict to their drug of choice (in your case, CONTROLS AROUND FOOD), you're always going to be tempted to use them as much as you can... and you'll spin your wheels to no end.

You have to stop feeding the disorder... you'll never be able to make your ED happy... it will never be satisfied if you keep feeding it... you need to starve it out. Remove the controls and replace them.

Everyone has fears, some of us have bad withdrawals... but you get through it.

[MosToorani]

@Adam.

Thank you for what you mentioned, I know it took a lot of time to write it out and i truly appreciate/loved the advise you provided.

I just need to make a couple of things clear. I don't fear food, I eat a variety of foods including cereal, chocolates, ice creams etc

I don't just eat lean meat, I eat salmon, steaks, etc.

What I want to control however is the rate of weight gain. That's my main concern. I want to gain at a rate of ~ 2 lbs a month in order to, once again as i previously mentioned, maximize muscle to fat gain ratio. That's all.

The reason why I want to take low calorie snacks with me at work is because I'm hungry all the time and satiety is a huge problem that I face. I plan to eat half my intake pre-workout and half post workout. As simple as that.

You asked why would I eat less on non-training days? Because I won't be as active when compared to the training days. 2,100 calories is approximately maintenance calories for me I believe, that's why i want to monitor the weight gain over the next couple of weeks.

Trust me man, I seriously do not fear ANY types of foods! and If you don't believe me, check my instagram? It's in my signature.

However, I agree with your point about control. If i do eat intuitively, I know i'll be eating less than I need to or probably just about the same calories because my mood choices are usually the same, again, based on satiety. If you ask me why don't I just change the foods I eat? It's because I'll probably over consume the calorific types of foods which led me to obesity in the first place.

If you tell me to eat mindfully, that's what I do everyday, vegetables, grains, fruits, chocolates, cereal etc. the only difference is that I know how much I'm consuming. I can eyeball the amount I'm eating if i completely stop weighing my food/tracking my calories, hence, mentally I WOULD KNOW how much I'm eating within a margin of 200 calories. Therefore, I'd rather be accurate on the bulk?

I don't know how else I can explain myself. I hope I made sense?

MT

[Grappa]

Perfect controlled lean bulking is called wheel spinning. Your weight/lifts will plateus left and right. On the other hand, how u want to grow if u are lowering your intake on rest days? Makes no sense. 2 days ago i have done heavy squats, followed by heavy dls and rack pulls. I felt drained as fk. Yesterday i have taken a day off and literally stuffed my face all day. My only activity was walking my dog.. Today i am recovered and rdy to go again.. Do not eat less on your non workout days. You are a novice just as me, your body sucking up every damn nutrient to build you up.

[MosToorani]

Perfect controlled lean bulking is called wheel spinning. Your weight/lifts will plateus left and right. On the other hand, how u want to grow if u are lowering your intake on rest days? Makes no sense. 2 days ago i have done heavy squats, followed by heavy dls and rack pulls. I felt drained as fk. Yesterday i have taken a day off and literally stuffed my face all day. My only activity was walking my dog.. Today i am recovered and rdy to go again.. Do not eat less on your non workout days. You are a novice just as me, your body sucking up every damn nutrient to build you up.

I certainly don't want to be spinning my wheels like I did for the past year. I just to make sure that the weight I gain is at least half muscle and half fat .. I just want to make sure that MUSCLE IS BEING BUILT!

With regards to calorie intake, the rest day calorie intake will be at maintenance level and not a surplus. not a good idea? I just want to gain 2 lbs or 1 kg a month .. not less, that's for sure!

MT

[Grappa]

And thinking/wanting to binge is a sign of undernourishment. Gaining weight or not if u are hungry during the day/in the morning, especially if u are on a bulk u are doing smthng wrong.

[MosToorani]

And thinking/wanting to binge is a sign of undernourishment. Gaining weight or not if u are hungry during the day/in the morning, especially if u are on a bulk u are doing smthng wrong.

Extremely true!

But what can you do about it if your weight is going up at a rate of 2 lbs or 1 kg a month? <<<< This means that the lean bulk is going correctly even if you're hungry during the day.

that's why i'm planning to take volume food with me to work. Because regardless of calories, I'm always hungry .. Unless I binge on 6000 calories a day and gain like 4-5 kg a month! haha

[Grappa]

Use a bit of logic pls. Gaining muscle = eating in a surplus. Maintenance is not a surplus. What u are doing? Spinning your wheels. And you can not gain muscle without fat. I have gained fat also, but i have also been able to add muscle mass to my frame. Why? Cuz i dare to eat.

[MosToorani]

Use a bit of logic pls. Gaining muscle = eating in a surplus. Maintenance is not a surplus. What u are doing? Spinning your wheels. And you can not gain muscle without fat. I have gained fat also, but i have also been able to add muscle mass to my frame. Why? Cuz i dare to eat.

I will gain fat, that's for sure and I have accepted it.

Maintenance calories is just for rest days .. Surplus calories will be for workout days ..

As long as I gain 2 lbs or 1 kg a month then I'm in a surplus and hopefully building muscle right?

MT

[Grappa]

Why it should be 1kg in a month? Why? Why is it bad if it is more? Train hard eat like a king and you will gain muscle. Every one is so focused on his nutrition blablabla but gym performance will going to lead you grow... As i have mentioned before: more food = better performance adding 100 calories is like gaining a rep? Why dont u want to gain several reps/increased weight? I do not really understand. When i go to the gym i turn into a beast and at that given time i try to give my all...