The No Contact Thread V.4: Fresh Year, Same Problems..

[TallSaint]

How long was your relationship, brah?

Nearly 8 months.

[PxV]

Nearly 8 months.

Keep the NC, time will heal.

[LightsXout28c]

I feel ya brah. I'm going through it myself.

I wonder to myself if this is ever going to end? Like I broke up with my ex gf back in July and was basically miserable for 2 months. Over September and October I've made a conscious effort to put myself out there and meet new people and date.

Been on about 10 dates since but they've lead nowhere. The fact that all these dates just lead me to miss my ex more.

Just got back from a date that was completely flat and I'm sitting here missing my ex even more.

I’ve learned that going on forced/casual dates can be counter productive because of that exact reason. I’ve been feeling so much better ever since I deleted tinder and bumble. It’s forced me to cold approach women who I find attractive in person since girls always disappoint from dating apps. Also I’ve been using that time I’d use to text tinder sluts on things actually productive. I still have a long ways to go but I feel like I’m on the right path to complete healing

[ChristmasFnatic]

Hang in there guys. I was married and she cheated on me back in 2011, had a heartbreak or two since then. Going NC is HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, trust me. No matter how experienced you are with breakups lol. It is normal to **** up the NC, and sucks to go back to square 1. It is what it is.

Just keep yourself busy, find a nice girl you really click with, and soon, I think you all know, you will be fine.

You aint alright now but you will be fine.

[thatsnarf]

Hang in there guys. I was married and she cheated on me back in 2011, had a heartbreak or two since then. Going NC is HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, trust me. No matter how experienced you are with breakups lol. It is normal to **** up the NC, and sucks to go back to square 1. It is what it is.

Just keep yourself busy, find a nice girl you really click with, and soon, I think you all know, you will be fine.

You aint alright now but you will be fine.

it's almost christmas homie.

[ChristmasFnatic]

it's almost christmas homie.

**** yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

[PxV]

Hang in there brah, morning been hard for me but tis getting better

[spadelexus]

Broke up with my toxic ex who was madly in love with me but also had BPD to a tee and treated me like shyt. She mentally drained me. Anyways, the last time we talked she said some of the most hurtful things a girl could say to a guy. Fast forward to yesterday, she messaged me up on twitter and apologized for what she said. I’ve been so tempted to reach back out but I can’t put myself back in that toxic mess. She’s so sexy which makes it hard. Help me stay strong brahs

There’s a much better, and sexier girl waiting for you. Don’t **** it up by rekindling anything with your ex. NC all the way bro. Stay strong.

[Evolutionary1]

really difficult in a small town. Deleted number, call history etc

[PxV]

How is everyone holding up here?

[LightsXout28c]

Hanging in. Been feeling the urge really bad today to break NC and ask for one more talk.

[PxV]

Hanging in. Been feeling the urge really bad today to break NC and ask for one more talk.

Don't break it, remember why it ended.

[trickfinger]

I was seeing a girl that goes to college with me and I really really like her, I have never met someone I had this kind of a connection and chemistry before
Anyway, I was kinda unsure what the fuk we were because I was getting mixed signals so I brought it up and she told me
she's not ready for a realtionship, she has too much sht going on and stress from school and everything else and she just cant deal with it right now.
She also mentiond that her ex sent her a text a few weeks back that messed with her head a little.
At the end of that, she told me If I go NC on her she completley understands, so I went NC because I couldn't be friends with her while feeling what I'm feeling towards her. I broke NC a week later because I felt so fking lonely, going from texting and hanging out pretty much daily to zero interaction made me miserable.
I got a cold response (I guess she did care that I stopped talking to her and was hurt by that?) and now we are doing NC again because she hasn't reached out since.
I really fuking miss her and the fact that we ended on good terms makes it even worse, and I feel like she isnt taking it as hard as I am (but maybe that's just my mind playing tricks on me).
No matter how much busy I keep myself during the day, she always comes back to my mind when I go to sleep.
What the fuk do I do? Do I try and move on or should I try and get back with her?
I guess this is karma for all the girls who felt the same towards me and I couldn't care less about them

Also, I bought her something a while back and just now received it. Would dropping it off at her place be a mistake? Maybe just go and drop it off while she's not home?

So, after this she reached out and we got back together for a while.
Fast forward one month, same sht happened and we talked about it and she told me everything you want to hear, she feels the same way about me and what we have between us is really special and all that stuff, but bottom line was this is not the right time for her.
Couple hours later I get a text from her saying that she will always care for me and that she will never forget what we had together.
I broke down crying reading that, can't really explain why that made me do that.
I am 26, first time I cried since I was 12
Tomorrow I have classes with her and I don't know how the fuk do I keep going as if nothing happened.

hold me brahs

[MiscInformed]

So, after this she reached out and we got back together for a while.
Fast forward one month, same sht happened and we talked about it and she told me everything you want to hear, she feels the same way about me and what we have between us is really special and all that stuff, but bottom line was this is not the right time for her.
Couple hours later I get a text from her saying that she will always care for me and that she will never forget what we had together.
I broke down crying reading that, can't really explain why that made me do that.
I am 26, first time I cried since I was 12
Tomorrow I have classes with her and I don't know how the fuk do I keep going as if nothing happened.

hold me brahs

Stop being a dummy. She monkey branched to a new guy. Everything else is just BS. She's trying not to hurt your feelings and she's trying not to get murdered in case you're a supreme gentleman. That's all. She monkey-branched and that's that. Delete her. If you see her in person, smile and say hi and that's it. Don't let her see you're upset. Avoid her if you need to without being obvious about it. One thing you don't do is give her time or ease her conscience. Don't chit chat with her. If she wants to talk, say you'd love to, but then look at your watch and say you have to be somewhere and don't have time. Do this once or twice and she'll get the hint. You don't owe her anything. She's the one who dumped you for another dude. And let's be clear... there is another dude. You know that. There's always another dude. All she needs to do is reach up into her friend zone and pluck some schlub like an apple on a tree.

[JFizzle23]

Broke up with my toxic ex who was madly in love with me but also had BPD to a tee and treated me like shyt. She mentally drained me. Anyways, the last time we talked she said some of the most hurtful things a girl could say to a guy. Fast forward to yesterday, she messaged me up on twitter and apologized for what she said. I’ve been so tempted to reach back out but I can’t put myself back in that toxic mess. She’s so sexy which makes it hard. Help me stay strong brahs

This makes me truly realize how big of a mistake I almost made.

Co-worker of mine is sexy AF and sometimes I get that smash vibe from her, but she’s been through about 10 relationships in the year I’ve known her. She’s also had multiple BPD breakdowns at work and has a tendency to be a massive bitch and egotistical *******. But at times she’s literally the nicest person you’d meet... makes you want to take the leap of faith. Probably for the best I don’t.

[TallSaint]

Hanging in. Been feeling the urge really bad today to break NC and ask for one more talk.

Hope you didn't do it brah. Stay strong.

I've been feeling the same way recently, even though i run into my ex every now and then but I'm going to hold out with the NC.

The worst part of this is the holiday season coming up, I'm sick of being single during the holiday season, which has been the case for quite a few years now. I love spending time with my friends and family but as I get older these holiday parties becoming more and more intolerable for me. It really sucks being the only single person at these parties while everyone else is either in a relationship/engaged/married.

It's depressing AF.

[LightsXout28c]

Hope you didn't do it brah. Stay strong.

I've been feeling the same way recently, even though i run into my ex every now and then but I'm going to hold out with the NC.

The worst part of this is the holiday season coming up, I'm sick of being single during the holiday season, which has been the case for quite a few years now. I love spending time with my friends and family but as I get older these holiday parties becoming more and more intolerable for me. It really sucks being the only single person at these parties while everyone else is either in a relationship/engaged/married.

It's depressing AF.

I was very tempted but I didn’t bro. I agree though. The holidays are rough for the exact same reasons you mentioned, but I’m sure it’s hard on her too. Every where I go, all I see is couples walking around looking happy while I’m lone wolfing. The NC Wouldn’t be as hard, but my family moved across the country recently. So I went from having my parents, brother, and GF to all of those people not around anymore. It’s def been a soul searching/transitional time of my life

[trickfinger]

Stop being a dummy. She monkey branched to a new guy. Everything else is just BS. She's trying not to hurt your feelings and she's trying not to get murdered in case you're a supreme gentleman. That's all. She monkey-branched and that's that. Delete her. If you see her in person, smile and say hi and that's it. Don't let her see you're upset. Avoid her if you need to without being obvious about it. One thing you don't do is give her time or ease her conscience. Don't chit chat with her. If she wants to talk, say you'd love to, but then look at your watch and say you have to be somewhere and don't have time. Do this once or twice and she'll get the hint. You don't owe her anything. She's the one who dumped you for another dude. And let's be clear... there is another dude. You know that. There's always another dude. All she needs to do is reach up into her friend zone and pluck some schlub like an apple on a tree.

Yeah, I guess you're right.
She texted me today... fuk it I'm not going to respond.

[Evolutionary1]

This is the way to go when dealing with NPD and BPD women. It's easy to get sucked back into the insanity because they have a mob of people that enable the madness

[MiscInformed]

Yeah, I guess you're right.
She texted me today... fuk it I'm not going to respond.

They do this. Short little texts that don't mean anything. They're called breadcrumbs. If she really wants you in her life, she'll make the effort. It'll be unmistakable. If not, she won't. Little texts saying stuff like "miss you" or "hope you're having a good day" are their way of keeping you in their orbit, but not orbiting too close. Because they might need you to do them a favor or something down the road.

[1320it]

sdfa

[Ginj]

Been 3 months for me since the breakup with my BPD/NPD ex.

-She slapped me
-Her dad talked **** on my appearance and career
- She messaged my sister telling her what we did together in bed n ****.
- Acted controlling. Dead clingy, couldnt hack if I went a couple hours without texting. Had to be at mine 24/7.
- Freak in bed
- Supposed 'rape' trauma. Probably made up
- Insecurities about me cheating
- Called my sister and friends toxic
- Hated the word no
- Victim behaviour. Random crying outbursts
- Constant negative bitching about things that didnt matter.
- baggage
- Met her on tinder
- Manipulation
- Tried to isolate me from my family after I spent 8 full weeks with her.
- Blamed me for being miserable
- Would post on twitter claiming I made her feel second best, and that she 'always messes things up'. Basicslly trying to play off my pity and guilt trip me.
- Made me feel guilty about porn
- Made me feel guilty about talking to other girls
- Talked about marriage alot. Claimed I was the one all the time.


Havent reached out in 3 months. Yet I really struggle not to check her social medias. She was calling me toxic and a cheat, saying I dont see her value etc.

Any advice how to fight the urge to check her social media? The urge for me is overwhelming and I get loads of anxiety if I dont look. It's really odd.

I know shes bad for me, I dont want her back, yet I still feel attached and cant let go?

Need srs help and advice here.

Also she messaged my sister two days post breakup saying ' I tried every other option and nothing changed so breaking up was my final option'

Any idea what this means? Backstory was that i stopped putting effort in, stopped going to see her or facetime for nearly three weeks. Pissed her off big time. I read that BPD's hate abandonment, maybe that had something to do with it.

But yeh, was probs another method of control. Help me brahs

[rtljmc17]

I feel ya brah. I'm going through it myself.

I wonder to myself if this is ever going to end? Like I broke up with my ex gf back in July and was basically miserable for 2 months. Over September and October I've made a conscious effort to put myself out there and meet new people and date.

Been on about 10 dates since but they've lead nowhere. The fact that all these dates just lead me to miss my ex more.

Just got back from a date that was completely flat and I'm sitting here missing my ex even more.

The feels. Banged a chick last weekend. She was so boring and no fun in bed. Wouldn't let me hit that fat ass doggy..

Honestly just felt worse. Would have rather of jerked off alone.

Now I miss my ex even more

[PrepaidExpress]

Been 9 months.

Still kinda miss her. I know i'll never see her again in my life.

Just sucks because we had a good relationship never used to fight or anything wasn't toxic. What could of been? Oh well.

[dontstopbelief]

Advice
No contact for over a month, I'm doing well but one of my problems is weak moments getting curious about her on social media, did u guys remove them as FB friends etc?

It feels a bit petty but I'm starting to feel like I'll have no other choice, at the end of the day I suppose I have to not care what she thinks and do what's best for me.

Any advice?

[rtljmc17]

Advice
No contact for over a month, I'm doing well but one of my problems is weak moments getting curious about her on social media, did u guys remove them as FB friends etc?

It feels a bit petty but I'm starting to feel like I'll have no other choice, at the end of the day I suppose I have to not care what she thinks and do what's best for me.

Any advice?

Removing her shows that she still has an effect on you. It will also burn the bridge if you do want her back.

The point is to be indifferent. You are happy if she wants to see you and happy if you never talk again.

I have to remind myself of this. Also stop stalking her social media.

You will only feel hurt if she is posting and doesn't seem bothered.

I've also stop even posting on my social media because it lets them check in on you and reduces aniexty.

If you want an ex back they need to wonder about you. So radio silence is most effective.

I know because I went a week without posting anything . Then when I did she replied. She didn't put effort in but it shows she still has a level of interest.

Just going complete black out mode now..either she comes back or I meet someone better. But she gets nothing about me unless she makes an effort.

I'm basically vanishing off the face of the earth.

[TallSaint]

Advice
No contact for over a month, I'm doing well but one of my problems is weak moments getting curious about her on social media, did u guys remove them as FB friends etc?

It feels a bit petty but I'm starting to feel like I'll have no other choice, at the end of the day I suppose I have to not care what she thinks and do what's best for me.

Any advice?

You kind of answered your own question. At the end of the day, you have to stop caring about what she thinks and do what's best for you to move on.

If deleting her off social media will help you stop dwelling on her, then it's the right decision to make.

Don't get caught up on what she will think about it. It's irrelevant and doesn't serve purpose to your goal of getting over her.

[dontstopbelief]

You kind of answered your own question. At the end of the day, you have to stop caring about what she thinks and do what's best for you to move on.

If deleting her off social media will help you stop dwelling on her, then it's the right decision to make.

Don't get caught up on what she will think about it. It's irrelevant and doesn't serve purpose to your goal of getting over her.

Yep, removed her and I feel better already tbh.

[dontstopbelief]

And now there's a fking message in my FB spam box from her after not speaking to each other for over a month, I had to do this for me so I can move on with my damn life. I havent looked at it and I don't want to.

[Ginj]

And now there's a fking message in my FB spam box from her after not speaking to each other for over a month, I had to do this for me so I can move on with my damn life. I havent looked at it and I don't want to.

Either look at it and leave her on read.

Or straight up delete it.

Either way. Dont give her your energy. Not worth it