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  1. #1
    █████████████████▌ SpliTT's Avatar
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    The No Contact Thread V.4: Fresh Year, Same Problems..

    I've seen a ton of posts lately regarding no contact with an ex (mine included). Whenever you get the urge to contact, just post here and fellow RH brahs will talk you out of it.

    Inadvertently saw a picture of my ex and I today - feltbadman.jpg
    Fought off the urge to text her - feelsgoodman.jpg





    stay strong on your no contact goals brahs. two more days and it will be two months for me! feels good man

    Previous Threads:
    V1: Thread: The No Contact Thread: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...63&pagenumber=

    V2: Thread: The No Contact Thread v2.0: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...dcat25+contact

    V3: Thread: The No Contact Thread v3.0 http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=166341821


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    Last edited by SpliTT; 01-13-2017 at 09:26 AM.
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  2. #2
    █████████████████▌ SpliTT's Avatar
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    Post any of your current relation struggle to get other reactions and advice from others to help you overcome whats holding you back
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  3. #3
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    This guy, that some of you might think is weird....has helped me a lot. These youtube videos are awesome. I've been listening to them a lot.


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  4. #4
    Registered User BZA85's Avatar
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    To pick up where kenfowler left off in response to my other post;

    Everyone's situation is much different. But all have a similar root, US. The guys who's hearts were too big for their own good which allows us to feel sorry for ourselves in situations where we shouldn't. We'll never figure out why we feel this way, but it always sorts itself out.

    You can and will get over her. I know you will. You'll know when you're ready to meet someone new, you won't be 100% ready but ready enough to realize you want to reach out to someone. When they contact you to admit fault, it's much worse. a little fire is ignited inside of you. Is this like a romantic movie? did she finally realize what she did wrong? Is there a chance? I'd say if you both spoke your peace and parted ways, that's the closure you need and you need to start healing.
    I think that's the thing though, I spoke my piece to the extent that I said I really cared about her, cherished our time together, and would miss her. I didn't tell her I loved her, though I think anyone with half a brain could tell - but I kind of regret that, not that I think she may have believed me if I had said it.

    From her all I got was a boatload of denials and evasiveness, so that feels like the blockage for me. If I thought she was being honest and sincere it would be fine, but that's not the impression I got - maybe that's why I want to hear from her. I guess I want the truth? But I want it from a dishonest and cowardly person who is not really in that habit of telling the truth, or in touch with themselves to even realise how delusional they are.

    My therapist has said she may not be ready to confront the truth for many years.
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  5. #5
    █████████████████▌ SpliTT's Avatar
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    A problem I may have


    Substantially I've became a renegade, not choosing a particular side or a female to be happy and content with.
    I have a girlfriend, she cooks, cleans does my laundry but I still feel incomplete.

    I do have big urges of cheating , and being a music artist temptation is everywhere.
    With my huge following on social media platforms I have multiple girls coming at me on the daily.

    I don't know what I want and do you guys feel its fair to put her through this?
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  6. #6
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SpliTT View Post
    A problem I may have


    Substantially I've became a renegade, not choosing a particular side or a female to be happy and content with.
    I have a girlfriend, she cooks, cleans does my laundry but I still feel incomplete.

    I do have big urges of cheating , and being a music artist temptation is everywhere.
    With my huge following on social media platforms I have multiple girls coming at me on the daily.

    I don't know what I want and do you guys feel its fair to put her through this?
    is any relationship perfect? No. Is anyone going to be 100% fulfilled in a relationship, probably not. This girl likes you a lot. She does things for you and is trying to show she's your teammate, your partner and is willing assist you in life. We all have urges of cheating. It's so easy, and somehow it seems like when you're in a relationship it's even easier. When you're single you can't buy a girlfriend!

    I work in healthcare and there is soooo much temptation everywhere. I get hit on all the time, and you just have to block it out if you're not single.

    This is not fair to her, in my opinion. You need to work on your communication in my opinion. Really look deep down and see where you feel your relationship is lacking. Don't call her out or anything, but subtly try to start changing things around.

    Imagine a life without her. Could you be okay with not seeing, talking to, laughing with, making love to her ever again?

    How would you feel knowing that she is so tempted to cheat on you? You'd feel a little insecure, you'd maybe wonder what you're lacking and if you love her you'd probably want to work on it for the sake of the relationship.

    See how you two can grow and better yourselves for each other. If you cannot see yourself with her you need to let her go.
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  7. #7
    JTFugggit #16 OSUBBall23's Avatar
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    From last thread....and IN on da FIRST PAGE!

    but...

    Thanks for support guys.

    Ive been through NC before with two relationships. It works. It really does, but in my experience NC does not apply with every situation.

    There is a girl that I was dating that I still somewhat talk to her and I have no feelings for her. Just friends.

    This situation I believe it calls for NC to an extent, but I honestly believe that could still be friends with her. The reason why I feel like this is because I honestly dont feel the same way about her. I really do not want to be back to together with her. There was SOOOO many red flags that you guys helped me with.

    So much baggage. Ive done a lot of reading for the past 5 days. I feel like a better person and I

    I dont hate her. I dont despite her. She changed me...for a positive. She didnt feel the same way about...thats fine, I wish you didnt string me out for 6 months, lol but it is what it is.

    I think NC for now...and I see what happens down the line.
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  8. #8
    Registered User hunars's Avatar
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    Mines coming up on two months as well. Last I saw her, I was at the bar was hitting on some girl, Ex saw this. her friend brings me outside to talk to me. Starts talking to me about how she misses me etc. etc. We walk back into the club/bar and my ex was standing there talking to another dude she looks around dude, looks right at me and than proceeds to make out with said dude. That was enough for me to go NC forever. each day passes I think of her less and less. I'm suppose to go out this weekend with friends and I'm sure I'll see her there making out with another dude again lol.
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  9. #9
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    FWB for over a year, girl kept saying she wanted to be exclusive and I went for it a few weeks ago. Had a gut feeling she lied about cutting contact with other guys and that she was making many white lies (where she was, flaking on plans).

    It sucks.

    It sucks because I've never 100% "caught" her doing anything and she's extremely good at talking her way out of things I find suspicious. But when there's that much smoke there's fire; combined with my strong intuition telling me something was off I had to let her go.

    Day 3 or 4 today, I am confident I won't break NC as I've already removed her from every aspect in my life and blocked every way she could contact me.

    I've never been in a situation where I left a girl purely from gut feelings and red flags. Usually it's mutual or one of the parties ****ed up and breakup is clearly the best option.

    This girl cried and pleaded with me, told me it's all a big misunderstanding, etc. She tells me she wants to be with me and basically everything else I want to hear but deep down I feel she is the biggest manipulator I've ever been with. I feel like it's all a lie even though I can't put a finger as to why.

    Either I've completely lost my mind and I broke up with a unicorn because of trust insecurities or dogged the biggest bullet in my life. For me the risk wasn't worth the reward, and the decision was easy.

    The process isn't, but that's why I'm here.
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  10. #10
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JoshLogic View Post
    FWB for over a year, girl kept saying she wanted to be exclusive and I went for it a few weeks ago. Had a gut feeling she lied about cutting contact with other guys and that she was making many white lies (where she was, flaking on plans).

    It sucks.

    It sucks because I've never 100% "caught" her doing anything and she's extremely good at talking her way out of things I find suspicious. But when there's that much smoke there's fire; combined with my strong intuition telling me something was off I had to let her go.

    Day 3 or 4 today, I am confident I won't break NC as I've already removed her from every aspect in my life and blocked every way she could contact me.

    I've never been in a situation where I left a girl purely from gut feelings and red flags. Usually it's mutual or one of the parties ****ed up and breakup is clearly the best option.

    This girl cried and pleaded with me, told me it's all a big misunderstanding, etc. She tells me she wants to be with me and basically everything else I want to hear but deep down I feel she is the biggest manipulator I've ever been with. I feel like it's all a lie even though I can't put a finger as to why.

    Either I've completely lost my mind and I broke up with a unicorn because of trust insecurities or dogged the biggest bullet in my life. For me the risk wasn't worth the reward, and the decision was easy.

    The process isn't, but that's why I'm here.
    You got some serious balls man. Way to go.
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  11. #11
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jotenko View Post
    You got some serious balls man. Way to go.
    This is true. You need to completely get rid of this idea though:

    Either I've completely lost my mind and I broke up with a unicorn because of trust insecurities or dogged the biggest bullet in my life. For me the risk wasn't worth the reward, and the decision was easy.

    This won't allow you to move on and feel like you made the right choice.

    I really hate it when you somewhat feel suspicious...but there isn't an solid facts or evidence. it messes with your head and your stomach.

    You're lucky your intuition is so strong. Not many of us are like that at all. We like to give second chances lol

    Feel free to PM any of us to get this off your chest.
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  12. #12
    ESTJ Sentinel Lightsoft's Avatar
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    First page
    I keep pushing because I think I'm untouchable. But I'll learn the hard way because I'm only a popcorn fart away from a 30 day ban.
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  13. #13
    Good Times Loveline's Avatar
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    Two weeks of no contact today. Still holding out hope that she'll reach out, but that hope is fading incrementally with each day.
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  14. #14
    Registered User daisygirl713's Avatar
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    In for old time's sake
    7:1
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  15. #15
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Loveline View Post
    Two weeks of no contact today. Still holding out hope that she'll reach out, but that hope is fading incrementally with each day.
    Lose that hope man. Just focus on you only. Try to clear your mind. Accept the depression. It's your body's way of keeping you guarded. It's shutting you down so you don't get hurt.

    Breathe and focus on yourself 1000%. If she hasn't cared enough to do so in 2 weeks, it is time to move on. Even if she did, it was probably for attention and power. I know none of it makes sense but you will survive even if you feel like death right now.
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  16. #16
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by daisygirl713 View Post
    In for old time's sake
    welcome back. chime in with your female opinion. We're lost sometimes.
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  17. #17
    Registered User Vinny82's Avatar
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    Broke NC after 3 weeks, never really got closure or a real reason as to why we broke up. Just said she needed space and I ended it after 3 weeks because I wasn't going too be stuck in some dating limbo forever. I went to her house and basically said "what are we doing" she said I still want space. I said I can't give you that anymore, your either in or your out. She says she loves me but just is so stressed and wants to focus on herself and all (she has a lot of family issues, when I say a lot i mean some **** that you can't imagine and career that is really stressing her out), so I said my peace and left. The next week she kept throwing me bread crumbs and I didn't respond, finally I said "hey i just need some space please leave me alone a while". Anyway, I broke contact after about 21 days after seeing a picture of a "congratulations" cake on SC. Turns out that she took a promotion and is moving across the country (4+ hr plane ride from PA).

    We had discussed this while we were together her company was opening a new office across the country and she was going to have to spend some time there, i kept asking about if she would have to move, and she said "no i am not going to have to move". Looks like i got my answer, I just wish she would have sat down and talked to me about it, i would never want to hold someone back from a career move and we had been fighting a good amount because of BS she was constantly putting me through. I know this is all for the best but it definitely stings a bit. We were together over a year and had discussed a future together and what not, i guess she just didn't see it and didn't know how to tell me. I just wish she didn't string me along. Lesson learned though, I won't ever agree to a break again. She has been short when talking about it, but from what I gather this came up right before she wanted space, and she basically emotionally distanced herself from me so that she could make this decision.

    For me, I have been using my NC time to better myself, started a new workout program, trying to focus on my new career (just started a great new job just 2 months ago) and I paid off my school loans and moving an hour away to a major city next month. I know I will make it, been through this before. Really just posting my story to get it all out and vent.
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  18. #18
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Our stories sound eerily similar man. Hurts like a biitch. Like you, I've been through this before and know I'll make it. It's just so different and so hard every time.

    Breaks generally don't work. You, Me, all of us...need to identify any issues earlier so we don't waste so much time.

    "She has been short when talking about it, but from what I gather this came up right before she wanted space, and she basically emotionally distanced herself from me so that she could make this decision."

    I know this feeling exactly. Seems very immature. Very unfair and very hurtful. Post up as much as you need to brother.
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  19. #19
    Registered User Vinny82's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kenfowler View Post
    Our stories sound eerily similar man. Hurts like a biitch. Like you, I've been through this before and know I'll make it. It's just so different and so hard every time.

    Breaks generally don't work. You, Me, all of us...need to identify any issues earlier so we don't waste so much time.

    "She has been short when talking about it, but from what I gather this came up right before she wanted space, and she basically emotionally distanced herself from me so that she could make this decision."

    I know this feeling exactly. Seems very immature. Very unfair and very hurtful. Post up as much as you need to brother.
    The thing that bothers me most is that i have been through this before. I moved 6 hours away from a previous long term gf, for a career move. I sat down with that girl at the time and we both tried to make it work. She just wasn't open with me about any of this. I have offered my friendship at this point because I know there is no chance of a relationship and I can make peace with that knowing she will be so far away. Especially since i have been through a move before, **** gets lonely and real when the first couple weeks of a new city wear off and you realize you truly are completely alone isolated from anyone you've ever known, not many people know what thats like. She is not even being mature enough to accept my friendship it seems, with her short answers and all. Just really disappointed as all, I was great to her and theres really no reason to be like that. But some people just aren't capable of caring or knowing how to love someone.
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    Accept the pain boyos.Our lives are not supposed to be all pleasure and no pain.Remember we are still extremely lucky bastards who get to go to a gym and work physically on ourselves.Similarly this pain is the gym where we get to work on our mental and emotional aspects.As men lets learn to accept this pain.This pain is nothing compared to having a life threatening disease or going to the trenches to fight a war.This is making us stronger.We may not feel strong right now but trust me this is making us strong.
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    In on 1st page, even though I never go to these threads..
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    I keep pushing because I think I'm untouchable. But I'll learn the hard way because I'm only a popcorn fart away from a 30 day ban.
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  23. #23
    I don't even lift darwinia's Avatar
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    23 days NC and 50 days broken up. Don't think I will ever talk to her again, which is perfectly ok.
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    in for another year of NC
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    Friday 13th ... lol... the day were we came togther. feels bad. NC day 13 yeah.
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    ok, in the previous thread i said i wont post about her anymore.. but im a little drunk right now
    im missing her so badly again, ive had dates with other girls, i made out with them since we broke up two months ago. but i still feel numb.
    im so tempted to just call her just to hear her voice and to know how shes doing, but i have to keep NC.. its so fuking hard.
    hold me
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    Originally Posted by Schlumpf View Post
    ok, in the previous thread i said i wont post about her anymore.. but im a little drunk right now
    im missing her so badly again, ive had dates with other girls, i made out with them since we broke up two months ago. but i still feel numb.
    im so tempted to just call her just to hear her voice and to know how shes doing, but i have to keep NC.. its so fuking hard.
    hold me
    Don't contact her you deutsche phagg0t!
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    Originally Posted by darwinia View Post
    23 days nc and 50 days broken up. Don't think i will ever talk to her again, which is perfectly ok.

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    After going NC on the Tinder girl (she just wanted attention, she is married) I had forgotten how good my beard growing skills were srs. Ever since NC my beard has been on fuking point
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    Don't do it man. I'm drunk again tonight. And am also struggling. Stay strong. Keep each other on track
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