The No Contact Thread V.4: Fresh Year, Same Problems..

[NedStark]

First ever post... struggling mightily right now.

I tend to ****ing hate most modern girls these days, so I'm not one to chase them. I pretty much just work, work out, and keep to myself. But I'd met this one a few times before, and we always clicked and had awesome chemistry. She reached out to me over Christmas. After briefly chatting, I asked her out, and we spent all day together. Smashed on the first date, and it was glorious. She invited me over to meet her family and spend NYE with her a few days later. Stayed over again. Spent the next week talking, and went out again Saturday. She just blew my mind over and over again in bed. And we got along better than I've ever experienced, including with a past spouse. This Sunday, she decided she wanted us to be a couple. I was all in. We planned a trip together and booked it. She asked me to come back the next day to meet her kids (which she said she didn't do unless she was sure the person was going to be around).

That next day, we drove with her kids to a nearby town, and this car pulls into the parking lot next to us. I know this dude (I work with him), so I thought he was pulling up to see me. He wasn't. She goes rigid, and I realize her kids know him. She won't look at him. He doesn't even see me in the front seat due to the angle and the window tint. He just saw a guy and realized she was on a date, so he pulled out and left without saying anything. She gets super weird, and she's texting somebody (i.e., him) the rest of the day. Says she's just "friends" (cue Biz Markie) when I ask.

She calls that afternoon to tell me she needs to take a break to think things through (a break after one ****ing day?). She tries to tell me that this 180 degree change happened as just a total coincidence unconnected to this dude appearing. I confronted her on how bat**** stupid I would have to be to believe that, and I finally get out of her that she had an on and off thing with him, and she realized she still had feelings when she saw him (I believe this, because I've known him for years and trust him, so I flat out called him to talk, and he told me the same about the on/off thing).

I've been ****ing gutted. Just dead inside. What's crazy is this joker has been in a live in relationship with another woman for 10 years, and from what I know, he's always scamming side chicks. He's not going anywhere on his long term woman, especially for a woman with a bunch of kids. So she basically ditched me for a non-existent chance with this guy.

I told her good luck, asked her to cancel my slot on the trip (there went that deposit), deleted all my pictures of her, and stopped contact, but god damn... I caught one-itis bad with her, and I keep trying to rationalize it away (e.g., "she didn't technically cheat", despite the fact that she lied to my face). And I'm cycling through all the emotions (denial, anger, etc) like a goddamned psycho. It won't be an issue for me to not reach out to her, but I'm afraid of caving if she reaches out to me. I keep trying to remember this dude is probably plowing her even as I'm writing this to reinforce myself.

That dude is definitely plowing her, when she contacts you next week after this dude can't commit. Don't cave, don't do it. Keep your self respect... move on man, move on!

[TunaTunaTuna]

That dude is definitely plowing her, when she contacts you next week after this dude can't commit. Don't cave, don't do it. Keep your self respect... move on man, move on!

Thanks man. I know this is the case, but it helps having people reinforce it.

[StuartoBlue]

You think you have found a gem or at least felt something real for once and it blows up in our faces.

Let's hope silence is really golden 👍

[FryDude]

going no contact on the world has been hard. every girl who all come in the same cookie cutter flakey prototype have been excommunicated. no contact on dating sites too.

[StuartoBlue]

going no contact on the world has been hard. every girl who all come in the same cookie cutter flakey prototype have been excommunicated. no contact on dating sites too.

Good lad, there are women with self respect who won't **** you over, few and far between and on which planet in the solar system who knows. Keep up the good fight!!

[jotenko]

she's taking a new cock every other day while you're sitting there imagining being with her, look at how fuked up that picture this. getting railed by all kinds of guys. she doesn't give a fuk about you, why should you give one single fuk about her? disregard her completely, I don't care if you've been going after her for months or years, stop it now. I don't care if you think you've put too much time in, stop it. stop thinking how great it would be with her, because it wouldn't. you're better than that. she's just another slut that you were infatuated with. shes average. shes nothing to you. I don't care if she texts you saying she misses you, don't respond. don't wait 2 hours then respond and think you're alpha, you're in the same fuking spot with her at the end. forget about her, work on your goals for life, aesthetics being one of them. when you're aesthetic as fuk, don't give a fuk, alpha and confident as fuk you know what will happen since you've been disregarding her? she will come to you like never before, and you can toy with her fuking emotions if you want. girls live off emotions, you think you're fuked with this oneitis, imagine how bad it will be for her when she sees how awesome you are and you aren't giving her any time. it will eat her inside, then you can eventually fuk her and disregard if you want, or just forget about her. it doesn't matter, you know why? because you're the ****ing man so start acting like it. stop feeling bad for yourself, stop fantasizing about her before you go to bed, stop fapping to her, stop all of this nonsense. you're going to look back and laugh at how dumb you were for being infatuated with this chick when there are tons of them out there, go get more. put yourself out there, lift heavy as fuk, work on ceo'ing, adopt the not a single **** was given attitude and watch your happiness rise to higher levels than ever before.

Quite simply the best wall of text on Misc.

[hockeyfreak13]

I had wayyy to many drinks this weekend and was stuck downtown. Phone was dead and a cab home is 60$ for me so I decided to walk over to my ex's who I havn't talked to in a month. (The cab would of been the better option) Went completely soft and any hopes of getting her back is gone. I was a solid NC for a while. My goal was to better myself and get her back but I think that ship has sailed.

[jotenko]

I had wayyy to many drinks this weekend and was stuck downtown. Phone was dead and a cab home is 60$ for me so I decided to walk over to my ex's who I havn't talked to in a month. (The cab would of been the better option) Went completely soft and any hopes of getting her back is gone. I was a solid NC for a while. My goal was to better myself and get her back but I think that ship has sailed.

Dude, she cheated on you, and you had hopes of getting her back?

[hockeyfreak13]

Dude, she cheated on you, and you had hopes of getting her back?

I don't even know what to say. I'm a joke.

[TunaTunaTuna]

That dude is definitely plowing her, when she contacts you next week after this dude can't commit. Don't cave, don't do it. Keep your self respect... move on man, move on!

F********ck. She just replied to the "Take care, I'm out" letter I sent a week ago when I went NC with the blandest, most generic response imaginable.

That's not even really going to be hard to not respond to on my end... I'm more pissed off than anything at this point.

[NedStark]

F********ck. She just replied to the "Take care, I'm out" letter I sent a week ago when I went NC with the blandest, most generic response imaginable.

That's not even really going to be hard to not respond to on my end... I'm more pissed off than anything at this point.

That's good that you won't respond, but did you notice something? We knew she was going to get back to you after week. We know it isn't going to workout with her fling, we know she's regretting it. We knew this would happen, even you.

Just keep up NC, you've been through this before man. You dodged a bullet, a big one. You'll be wondering why you even gave this woman a chance 30-50 days from now. Make sure to keep improving yourself, staying busy.. onto bigger and better things.

[jotenko]

F********ck. She just replied to the "Take care, I'm out" letter I sent a week ago when I went NC with the blandest, most generic response imaginable.

That's not even really going to be hard to not respond to on my end... I'm more pissed off than anything at this point.

What did you say and what did she respond?

[darwinia]

I met my ex yesterday to grab some stuff, first time I saw her since BU 2 months ago. I felt nothing, she seemed like a stranger to me. Kind of sad considering how much we were in love, but now I can move on knowing there is nothing there anymore. A burden has been lifted. Back to NC but I don't think I'd mind seeing her again knowing how I actually feel compared to how I thought I felt.

[TunaTunaTuna]

What did you say and what did she respond?

After I got the truth out of her (that he was an ex, and that she still had feelings for him, and that she needed a break to think), I basically told her to go figure out whatever she wanted to make herself happy and go do it, to not treat people like that, that I wasn't going to get in the middle of some stupid love triangle, and that I was out for now.

She responded with like 4 really brief lines saying nothing of substance (... that took 4-5 days to write). Some of it was kind of snippy. My buddy read it and thinks that she was trying to provoke a hostile response.

It sucks, but that response was probably a huge favor. If she had said something of substance, the temptation to respond would have been much greater. Now? Not so much.

[JustBertStareU]

I don't even know what to say. I'm a joke.

You need to stop. This girl isn't special and she out right cheated on you. Why do you even want that joke of a human being back. They gave 0 ****s about you

[Eskimo10]

Alright bros - update, my ex is definitely still using my Giant rewards card (I don't really care about this, because I get money off my gas so that's whatever), but she unblocked me on social media (which means I get to block her and she can't do anything about it - and I already did)... but keep me strong bros, hold me accountable for NC - I know the text/call/message isn't far behind even though she's with another dude right now. Keep me strong bros!

[jotenko]

Alright bros - update, my ex is definitely still using my Giant rewards card (I don't really care about this, because I get money off my gas so that's whatever), but she unblocked me on social media (which means I get to block her and she can't do anything about it - and I already did)... but keep me strong bros, hold me accountable for NC - I know the text/call/message isn't far behind even though she's with another dude right now. Keep me strong bros!

PMd you.

I don't even know what to say. I'm a joke.

PMd you, too.

[StuartoBlue]

Afternoon @Splitt, just wanted to say thanks for keeping this going and up to date.

If anyone had said to me a thread would help me out so much I'd have laughed but it really does. Plus the difference between the NC bull**** elsewhere is it's some clown making up strategies, this is real guys with for the most part one common goal. Holding onto NC for dear life lol. Keep up the good work!!

[SpliTT]

Afternoon @Splitt, just wanted to say thanks for keeping this going and up to date.

If anyone had said to me a thread would help me out so much I'd have laughed but it really does. Plus the difference between the NC bull**** elsewhere is it's some clown making up strategies, this is real guys with for the most part one common goal. Holding onto NC for dear life lol. Keep up the good work!!

No problem boss , Ive been through it 2 years ago and misc helped me get through, always will try to keep this thread going.

[StuartoBlue]

Must have been very close to your heart to keep this up fair play. I do believe in my situation I would have preferred my ex to have ****ed it up rather than myself. Probably gonna catch some **** for this but that would be easier to stay NC. Either way it is what it is.

[jotenko]

Must have been very close to your heart to keep this up fair play. I do believe in my situation I would have preferred my ex to have ****ed it up rather than myself. Probably gonna catch some **** for this but that would be easier to stay NC. Either way it is what it is.

Hey lad, are you the guy which had problems with alcohol?

[StuartoBlue]

Hey lad, are you the guy which had problems with alcohol?

Not me fella just problems with ex's lol. Why do you ask?

[jotenko]

Not me fella just problems with ex's lol. Why do you ask?

Was trying to remember your story brah. What happened?

[StuartoBlue]

Was trying to remember your story brah. What happened?

Not posted one per se mate, just been taking general advice and pointers. What other men do and do not do can be of great comfort and teaching and this place is a godsend.

Long story short, she fell in love, I fell in love and I did not protect that, became displacent and drifted. She was all in and now we don't talk. Pretty pathetic really compared to others for sure. My regret would have turned into mega beta behaviour if not for sticking to no contact. 1 month exactly.

P.S Defo read yours but can't remember the specifics. You have made many good points too I've read em ��

[jotenko]

Not posted one per se mate, just been taking general advice and pointers. What other men do and do not do can be of great comfort and teaching and this place is a godsend.

Long story short, she fell in love, I fell in love and I did not protect that, became displacent and drifted. She was all in and now we don't talk. Pretty pathetic really compared to others for sure. My regret would have turned into mega beta behaviour if not for sticking to no contact. 1 month exactly.

P.S Defo read yours but can't remember the specifics. You have made many good points too I've read em ��

Why are you so sure it was your fault?

[HerculesGhost]

Prepare to neg me, brahs.

Friday night, she hit me up. I caved. We spent the weekend together.

Basically all it did was confirm that I don't want to be with this woman at all. She just has a narcissistic/entitled personality that I cannot stand. Last time I went NC, I didn't block her number or on Whatsapp (I'm not on social media anymore so that wasn't an issue), but now I've got her blocked. No looking backward, only ahead.

[jotenko]

Prepare to neg me, brahs.

Friday night, she hit me up. I caved. We spent the weekend together.

Basically all it did was confirm that I don't want to be with this woman at all. She just has a narcissistic/entitled personality that I cannot stand. Last time I went NC, I didn't block her number or on Whatsapp (I'm not on social media anymore so that wasn't an issue), but now I've got her blocked. No looking backward, only ahead.

Just NC again.

[StuartoBlue]

Why are you so sure it was your fault?

False paranoia and trust issues. None of which she contributed to. I remember thinking this girl can't have fallen for me this hard this fast surely. However her actions matched her words, which makes it worse looking back. Don't get me wrong I treated her well and we got on like two peas in a pod.

Maybe I don't love her, but I do know I have never felt like this before, nor ever had a woman on my mind 24/7 and an indescribable emptiness. Not that I have to describe it you, you've had it/got it. She may or may not have moved on now. I think there has been a rebound but best to leave alone me thinks. What is your view on it?

By the way your post about Catastrophic situations causing better men etc is spot on for sure. Think you also mentioned something about a specific culture or warrior who get stronger from wounds. Very interesting read that one.

[jotenko]

False paranoia and trust issues. None of which she contributed to. I remember thinking this girl can't have fallen for me this hard this fast surely. However her actions matched her words, which makes it worse looking back. Don't get me wrong I treated her well and we got on like two peas in a pod.

Maybe I don't love her, but I do know I have never felt like this before, nor ever had a woman on my mind 24/7 and an indescribable emptiness. Not that I have to describe it you, you've had it/got it. She may or may not have moved on now. I think there has been a rebound but best to leave alone me thinks. What is your view on it?

By the way your post about Catastrophic situations causing better men etc is spot on for sure. Think you also mentioned something about a specific culture or warrior who get stronger from wounds. Very interesting read that one.

And you are really 35, brother?

[StuartoBlue]

And you are really 35, brother?

Shamefully yes pal lol. Hence been dumped enough times to know this is the wrong way round and maybe my pussy feelings of missing her and regret are pretty much of my own making lol.

How's things with you?