The No Contact Thread V.4: Fresh Year, Same Problems..

[Imnew1]

I don't plan on breaking NC but **** the when waves of emotion and feelings of loneliness hit it just sucks. I'm still at the point where talking to other girls feels hollow and unfulfilling and I can barely keep interest in a conversation. Right now it feels like I want to be with someone and yet be left alone at the same time idk. This will pass but it's just a ****ty feeling right now. Sorry just had to vent.

Focus on yourself man. It gets better. Yeah you'll never forget her and you will think about her, as will she you, but life goes on. You both were an example of what neither of you needed long term in each others life.

It's a new year, and if she left you well then fk her. You were happy before her and you'll be completely happy again. Stay healthy, work out, hang out with friends, go do whatever you would have done before you met her. Be you and eventually another chick will want to make you her man. Have fun. Life is too short to be sad over somebody who gladly walked out of your life.

[shirtlessbrah]

Focus on yourself man. It gets better. Yeah you'll never forget her and you will think about her, as will she you, but life goes on. You both were an example of what neither of you needed long term in each others life.

It's a new year, and if she left you well then fk her. You were happy before her and you'll be completely happy again. Stay healthy, work out, hang out with friends, go do whatever you would have done before you met her. Be you and eventually another chick will want to make you her man. Have fun. Life is too short to be sad over somebody who gladly walked out of your life.

I keep rereading this and it's really hitting home. She was everything I wanted in a woman physically with a fun personality and great sense of humor, basically my dream girl. But she was a lying, manipulative, backstabbing, narcissistic and selfish person person underneath all of that. It's really for the best that we parted ways but that doesn't make it hurt any less right now.

[annual]

3 years ago in December girlfriend of 8 years runs off with a girl, and says she is Bi

on-off contact for first 6 months - Her contacting me, i never contacted her at one point she comes back after 6 months says she made a mistake, and then changes her mind and stays with new girl.

Fast forward nearly 3 years to the day we split up (zero contact from her for 2.5 years and she had blocked me) she messages my sister first and tells her they split up (no contact between those two at all and they hardly spoke when we were together)

2 weeks later i get a friend request, after 2 days i stupidly accept.

On-off contact for last 2 weeks, basically say other girl has left her and that karma is a bitch etc. Says she had a date with another girl which went well and her male friend from work asked her out but she told him she was gay(told me when she left she was bi) Says she wants to be friends and is really happy we are talking again.

After about 5 days i decide to remove her as a friend again 2 days before New years eve. She wished me happy new year few hours before it dinged and i reply "you too" Have not heard anything since.

I would be up for a smash and dash, presuming she has not been with another guy since, but i am not being "her friend" thing is, i cant work out if she just wants to "be friends" or something else. Something tells me she has turned full on Lesbian and is not even BI, she kind of hinted to it a little.

As the saying goes, they always come back.... in some sort of way at least

[lukefaulky32]

Never take a girl back that screwed you over have some self respect. Once that action is taken you should think of them as dead. Anyone going through this now you will feel like chit but eventually come out a much stronger person trust me. Keep lifting daily no matter what

[shirtlessbrah]

IDK if there's a "5 stages of grief" for breakups but I think right now I'm in the anger phase lol. I really hate that bitch and wish the worst on her.

[shirtlessbrah]

Went to delete this stupid horoscope app she asked me to dl back when we were together and saw she had actually deleted/blocked me there. Idk why that’s bothering me so much lol. I wish I could move on and forget her as quickly as she did me. I don’t want her back I just want to kill any remaining emotions and memories.

[Casser1242]

Went to delete this stupid horoscope app she asked me to dl back when we were together and saw she had actually deleted/blocked me there. Idk why that’s bothering me so much lol. I wish I could move on and forget her as quickly as she did me. I don’t want her back I just want to kill any remaining emotions and memories.

The only way is to act like they do not exist or never existed. Hard as fook but its the only way.

[SamanthasChad]

no contact has mde me forget my ex

but i still feel a bit curious and want to look at her profile but i refuse to nothing good comes of it

shes now an old memory.

Stfu sandman

[shirtlessbrah]

The only way is to act like they do not exist or never existed. Hard as fook but its the only way.

This is what I’ve been trying to do but it’s been tough. I think the fact I was somewhat blindsided and didn’t get proper “closure” makes it harder but how much more closure do you really need when she tells you she loves someone else. I just need to wipe my memory clean.

[mmmmmbop]

Gonna post my story too just to get it off my chest.

Cliffs:
- dated this beautiful and intelligent chick for ~2 years
- she was 3 years older (met her at 23 me 26 her)
- I realized she was more committed than I was, felt bad about that, almost like I'm leading her on
- a big job opportunity in a city 4hrs away came up, had to take it
- I thought that would be the end of the relationship, but she agreed to move to the new city with me, even after I said we can't move in together there(!)
- felt really guilty to have her give up her life in the old city just to come with me while I wasn't as committed and perhaps would break up with her down the road
- I decided to break off things to avoid hurting her even more (<- nowadays I think this might have been a mistake)
- went NC to give her space
- however, she reached out to me a few weeks after the breakup
- we met, it evolved into this sorta FWB thing/casual relationship where she visits me once a month, or I pop in for a hookup when I'm visiting the old city
- this FWB situation stayed for 1.5 years and basically continues until now
- now due to Covid and being able to work remotely I'm back in the old city as I don't really have friends in the new city yet

I thought she'd be really happy that I'm back in the city and we would hang out pretty often, but it seemed like she was almost negatively surprised ("what are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you until the end of the lockdown anymore."). We hung out about 5 times, and she was fantastic and loving in person (and in bed) every single time, but somehow seemed not so interested over text, never initiated texting, and prioritized chilling with her friends over me. Contrary to how it usually was, she was now the one limiting the frequency of meetups.

I realized I caught feelings and decided to not reach out for a bit to cool off and to let her come to me. This has been 10 days ago and she hasn't texted once. I'm realizing I have become an option at this point and it hurts. I know I brought it all on myself but it still sucks. I guess I need to go NC for real to get her out of my head.

[Imnew1]

IDK if there's a "5 stages of grief" for breakups but I think right now I'm in the anger phase lol. I really hate that bitch and wish the worst on her.

Being emotional like that is feminine nature. Let is go man. Wish her well, and let her go find somebody on her level and treated accordingly. The majority of women do men wrong at that end. Mine sure as hell did. I don't hate her at all. I'll never look at her the same ever again however.

She lives about 20 minutes from me in the Atlanta suburbs. Zero reason for her to be in my area unless she was working and going to a project being built or something where she needed to do a sales presentation. Anyways, my local Publix is literally like 2 minutes max from my place. I would never set foot in her local grocery store just because I don't want to run into her and have no idea what she might do or say. Unless her new bf lives around where I do or something she had zero reason to be in there. I walked in as she was getting ready to check out. I walked past her and she just gave me the biggest look of hate in her eyes. I just smiled shook my head and kept walking. No idea if this was just a random occurrence, if she was hoping to bump into my mom or dad and tell them all of the horrible things about me, cause a scene, or what. Either way I don't hate her, just more scared of her instability and what she might do. Her ending left me speechless, and wondering just how psycho and crazy she really was.

Don't be like my ex who still can't let it go after a year and remains filled with pure hatred for me when I never did anything wrong other than not progress everything to marriage on her unnecessary time frame. If you hate every ex you ever have, you're gonna be filled with nothing but hate, and scare off a lot of women. Enjoy single life for a while. It's lonelier than a gf for sure, but at least you're not wasting time on the wrong person any more.

[shirtlessbrah]

Being emotional like that is feminine nature. Let is go man. Wish her well, and let her go find somebody on her level and treated accordingly. The majority of women do men wrong at that end. Mine sure as hell did. I don't hate her at all. I'll never look at her the same ever again however.

She lives about 20 minutes from me in the Atlanta suburbs. Zero reason for her to be in my area unless she was working and going to a project being built or something where she needed to do a sales presentation. Anyways, my local Publix is literally like 2 minutes max from my place. I would never set foot in her local grocery store just because I don't want to run into her and have no idea what she might do or say. Unless her new bf lives around where I do or something she had zero reason to be in there. I walked in as she was getting ready to check out. I walked past her and she just gave me the biggest look of hate in her eyes. I just smiled shook my head and kept walking. No idea if this was just a random occurrence, if she was hoping to bump into my mom or dad and tell them all of the horrible things about me, cause a scene, or what. Either way I don't hate her, just more scared of her instability and what she might do. Her ending left me speechless, and wondering just how psycho and crazy she really was.

Don't be like my ex who still can't let it go after a year and remains filled with pure hatred for me when I never did anything wrong other than not progress everything to marriage on her unnecessary time frame. If you hate every ex you ever have, you're gonna be filled with nothing but hate, and scare off a lot of women. Enjoy single life for a while. It's lonelier than a gf for sure, but at least you're not wasting time on the wrong person any more.

It's just the emotional ebb and flow. Some moments I'm filled with rage and others I couldn't care less. I'm getting closer to the indifference stage than holding on to any more resentment though. Honestly I was more annoyed she basically cut me off and blocked my number in the middle of our last phone conversation before I had a chance to get everything off my chest. Maybe that was for the best because I don't think I would have held back then and those things were better left unsaid. Luckily I don't have to worry about running into her and her new bf since she's moved back home.

It would probably move things along quicker but still don't think I'm in the mindset to entertain other females at the moment. Another few weeks and I think I'll be back to normal.

Edit: man wtf just had a dream about her and her new bf (never seen the guy so don’t know what he looks like). Part of me wants to stalk and see if it’s correct but mostly just smh at the fact I can’t even sleep in peace lol

[mmmmmbop]

Still haven't heard from her. I shouldn't be so upset by this, but I am. How is it that last time we met she's super loving, gives me 3 bjs, wants to cuddle etc, but then rejects my suggestion to hang out a couple of days later because "she just wants to chill by herself tonight" and when I go NC she doesn't initiate for 2 weeks and counting...

[bluebeltATT]

Still haven't heard from her. I shouldn't be so upset by this, but I am. How is it that last time we met she's super loving, gives me 3 bjs, wants to cuddle etc, but then rejects my suggestion to hang out a couple of days later because "she just wants to chill by herself tonight" and when I go NC she doesn't initiate for 2 weeks and counting...

shes getting the D from some other guy , females live in the " here and now " , they don't think past a few days or weeks

[skinnyfat88]

Still haven't heard from her. I shouldn't be so upset by this, but I am. How is it that last time we met she's super loving, gives me 3 bjs, wants to cuddle etc, but then rejects my suggestion to hang out a couple of days later because "she just wants to chill by herself tonight" and when I go NC she doesn't initiate for 2 weeks and counting...

She was lonely at the time and enjoyed the attention/affection but realized she prefers to explore other options.

[shirtlessbrah]

Still haven't heard from her. I shouldn't be so upset by this, but I am. How is it that last time we met she's super loving, gives me 3 bjs, wants to cuddle etc, but then rejects my suggestion to hang out a couple of days later because "she just wants to chill by herself tonight" and when I go NC she doesn't initiate for 2 weeks and counting...

Like others have said it sounds like there’s someone else. Keep NC unless you want to be responded to with a weak text or left on read. Move on from her.

[shirtlessbrah]

Was scrolling through instagram and saw an engagement photo of a couple and it looked just liked her. Just got a nauseous feeling at the thought of it.

[Imnew1]

Was scrolling through instagram and saw an engagement photo of a couple and it looked just liked her. Just got a nauseous feeling at the thought of it.

It will pass. You're still early on in letting go of what was and what could have been, and what's no more. Eventually you will run into her or see her and not even care if she speaks to you or if she's with a new boyfriend. I know it doesn't seem like it now but you'll get there like everybody else.

Have fun knowing that if you keep working towards success, staying in shape, eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, and not doing a bunch of destructive stuff to yourself then you have no wall or biological clock. Her's on the other hand is right around the corner, and her clock ticks harder and more desperate every year.

[shirtlessbrah]

It will pass. You're still early on in letting go of what was and what could have been, and what's no more. Eventually you will run into her or see her and not even care if she speaks to you or if she's with a new boyfriend. I know it doesn't seem like it now but you'll get there like everybody else.

Have fun knowing that if you keep working towards success, staying in shape, eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, and not doing a bunch of destructive stuff to yourself then you have no wall or biological clock. Her's on the other hand is right around the corner, and her clock ticks harder and more desperate every year.

Thanks brah. Been staying NC and don’t have plans on breaking it but the thoughts and feelings are still there. Just trying to keep busy to keep my mind preoccupied.

[BlackHeart.au]

So It's been a 7 weeks of NC since my Ex dumped me. Funny thing is I got super ripped and posted a story the other day for the very first time and I saw that she'd seen them. After a day she unfollowed me.

While I was with her I got quite lazy. I don't follow her either since the breakup.

am I over thinking it. Or did I struck a nerve?

I'm caring less now as I'm starting to crush on someone new TBH.

[shirtlessbrah]

So It's been a 7 weeks of NC since my Ex dumped me. Funny thing is I got super ripped and posted a story the other day for the very first time and I saw that she'd seen them. After a day she unfollowed me.

While I was with her I got quite lazy. I don't follow her either since the breakup.

am I over thinking it. Or did I struck a nerve?

I'm caring less now as I'm starting to crush on someone new TBH.

It's possible. it's also possible she forgot you were still on her snapchat and she viewed your story accidentally. I know I usually just let stories play automatically on snapchat and IG without really paying attention to them.

[BlackHeart.au]

It's possible. it's also possible she forgot you were still on her snapchat and she viewed your story accidentally. I know I usually just let stories play automatically on snapchat and IG without really paying attention to them.

she watched the first 3 in the morning then the last one in the evening. Then unfollowed.

All irrelevant I guess. Funny how our minds fuk with us over the simple stuff.

Thanks bro

[Imnew1]

Anyone here tempted to stalk an ex and see if she had a boyfriend from a long time ago? Not sure if I should look.. not sure how i'd feel... is it ever worth looking?Maybe i'll check in 5 years time lol. Maybe by then i'll forget her. Probably nt she was my fisrst love.

Stfu Sandman

[shirtlessbrah]

she watched the first 3 in the morning then the last one in the evening. Then unfollowed.

All irrelevant I guess. Funny how our minds fuk with us over the simple stuff.

Thanks bro

It’s funny how it’s usually the little things that get you. For me it was seeing that she removed me from a horoscope app she wanted me to dl for our compatibility back when we were together.

It sounds dumb but I think times like those are when reality sets in and the finality of the situation hits us. That the person you spent all this time with and saw a future with is now someone you’ll likely never speak to again.

[Imnew1]

Depends on the number of breakups as well. First time my recent ex broke up after a year together she monkey branched asap but she left up all our pics on instagram. I knew she’d be back. I should have told her to pound sound but I loved her and thought our problems were easy fixes. If she had removed all our pics and blocked me I would have felt even more crushed back then.

2nd go around her respect level and appreciation for all the trips and all the fun was worse than ever. She chose to breakup psycho style after another year together and insta blocked me and removed all of our pics on instagram minus 1 or 2. Nothing left up making us look like a couple. I kind of just had a “oh really?” while she was doing all of that but really didn’t care enough to be bothered at that point. Sometimes you’re just done with somebody and don’t care to fight for it anymore. Her ending destroyed any communication I ever cared to have with her again. Who cares if I’m blocked on the one social media I do have or pics deleted off of her insta? One day ya’ll won’t care anymore either.

[Imnew1]

**** off incel loser you've probably never had a gf as good as mine jealous old dude.

It’s not hard to beat a chick with a mustache. Nobody is jealous. My ex was way hotter than yours imo. I’m also 36 bro. Hardly old. You’ll be lucky to look like me at my age you balding manlet loser. Yes your tour is over; mine continues on just fine.

[BlackHeart.au]

It’s funny how it’s usually the little things that get you. For me it was seeing that she removed me from a horoscope app she wanted me to dl for our compatibility back when we were together.

It sounds dumb but I think times like those are when reality sets in and the finality of the situation hits us. That the person you spent all this time with and saw a future with is now someone you’ll likely never speak to again.

I agree man. It's crazy how these things never happen on a gradual process for us but it come at an instant blow out of no where. Gone forever.

They plan this weeks in advanced without warning. Usually they start thinking this when a new guy is in the picture.

But man. Don't let them win. Every time I get dropped in the past, I leveled up so hard and fast they all reach out when the new rebound starts to fade while she see's you living it up.

Be a winner brother!

[BlackHeart.au]

Depends on the number of breakups as well. First time my recent ex broke up after a year together she monkey branched asap but she left up all our pics on instagram. I knew she’d be back. I should have told her to pound sound but I loved her and thought our problems were easy fixes. If she had removed all our pics and blocked me I would have felt even more crushed back then.

2nd go around her respect level and appreciation for all the trips and all the fun was worse than ever. She chose to breakup psycho style after another year together and insta blocked me and removed all of our pics on instagram minus 1 or 2. Nothing left up making us look like a couple. I kind of just had a “oh really?” while she was doing all of that but really didn’t care enough to be bothered at that point. Sometimes you’re just done with somebody and don’t care to fight for it anymore. Her ending destroyed any communication I ever cared to have with her again. Who cares if I’m blocked on the one social media I do have or pics deleted off of her insta? One day ya’ll won’t care anymore either.

Funny you say that. Come to think of it. My ex still had her ex on her insta. LOL wtf!

[shirtlessbrah]

Depends on the number of breakups as well. First time my recent ex broke up after a year together she monkey branched asap but she left up all our pics on instagram. I knew she’d be back. I should have told her to pound sound but I loved her and thought our problems were easy fixes. If she had removed all our pics and blocked me I would have felt even more crushed back then.

2nd go around her respect level and appreciation for all the trips and all the fun was worse than ever. She chose to breakup psycho style after another year together and insta blocked me and removed all of our pics on instagram minus 1 or 2. Nothing left up making us look like a couple. I kind of just had a “oh really?” while she was doing all of that but really didn’t care enough to be bothered at that point. Sometimes you’re just done with somebody and don’t care to fight for it anymore. Her ending destroyed any communication I ever cared to have with her again. Who cares if I’m blocked on the one social media I do have or pics deleted off of her insta? One day ya’ll won’t care anymore either.

This is true, this wasn't the first break up and we weren't even exactly "together" at this point. It's just you can tell when it's different and actually final and that's when reality sets in. I'll be fine though, it's not my first rodeo lol.

[shirtlessbrah]

Coming up on a month of nc and despite some ups and downs I’m still going strong. Not going to pretend there aren’t times I feel weak and miss her even after she screwed me over but those feelings fade when I think back on how everything was just one big lie.

Part of me wishes I could have one last conversation to get proper closure but I’m realizing it would be pointless because she would just twist her logic and perform all the mental gymnastics she could to make it look like she wasn’t at fault as she usually does. I still laugh when I think back to our last convo and she said we can be friends and she would be there for me then blocks me a few mins later when I call her out on her bs. So typical of her to say one thing then do another.

The lockdown hasn’t helped much since everything is closed so all I can do is work and try to keep busy at home. I’ve had a couple matches on tinder but honestly still not ready to date anyone just yet and don’t think hooking up will help right now. I’m just biding time until I can get back in the right state of mind to get out there because I don’t think it would be fair to any potential gf to try and start something when I’m not fully over my previous relationship.