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  1. #31
    Registered User daisygirl713's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jotenko View Post
    You got some serious balls man. Way to go.
    X2

    NEVER underestimate your gut instincts. Even if they don't fully make sense at the time, THEY WILL. Listen and let life show you why it always pays off to follow your intuition.

    Time reveals all
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  2. #32
    Registered User Eskimo10's Avatar
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    Misc brethern I need your support tonight. Stupidest little thing. Figured out she's still using my giant rewards card for her groceries (at least I highly suspect she is). I don't really care about that, I get money off my gas when I fill up because of it, so cool, but the point is just like… she cheated on me, got mad I think that, and is still using my stuff?? Like WTF? Anyway, made me think of her, broke me down. Been NC for a little over a week, and not looking back, but that stupid ass little thought crumpled me. F*ck bros.
    Isaiah 53:5 - "...by His wounds we are healed."

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  3. #33
    Registered User mgBsportsfan25's Avatar
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    Not here to vent, but to actually spread some words of encouragement. A week or so ago I was in a lot of your guys' situation of having the feels for an ex and wanting to reach out. I realized it was more due to other events going on in my life (my dad's cancer battle).

    I stayed strong and feel night and day better in just a week. And my ex I see 5 days a week (we work in the same office) so that has made the healing process worse. With a little help from some of Jotenko's pep talks I realized life is actually kind of better without my ex. And the fact she left me at such a s*** time in my life has helped me realize in the long run she probably is doing me a favor since she wasn't even there for me when I first got the news (she broke up with me a within a week of finding out my dad had cancer back in October). And like I said, I see her almost every day at work. Imagine having to run into your ex almost every day...

    It's late and I'm starting to ramble but I want to let you know that things will get better without her in your life guys. I know it sucks now but whatever you do, stay strong and if you ever feel the urge to reach out to her/him just go on here and let the miscers smack some sense into you.
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  4. #34
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Hello fellas,

    Feeling weak. Of course alcohol is involved. I need to stop this. Just envisioning her smile, her touch, etc. Caught up between missing her and wanting to have more self respect. Hard to go from imagining a future with someone to cold turkey dropping them and not talking to them again.

    Sucks. I'm so broken. Need to realize I'm deserving of more
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  5. #35
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    At a party right now. Not really feeling it. I just don't feel like I fit in. I'm not being antisocial but everyone is just drunk as Hell and conversing. I'm just so detached from everything. I've never been into this shiit but I need something to occupy me. Posting online is more fun. I wish I were normal

    Hot girls trying to dance with me, so not feeling it. Disappointing.

    The question that keeps plaguing me...women love being fought for, how hard do you fight and when do you stop fighting? I know it's so much easier to just quit and chalk it up to "not meant to be", but how many people wouldn't be married or together if they just quit? I don't wanna be take advantage of in relationships but also don't wanna quit when things get difficult. Such a gray area.
    Last edited by kenfowler; 01-15-2017 at 02:09 AM.
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  6. #36
    Registered User beastin007's Avatar
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    She gave up on you. You dont fight. Be a man and move on!
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  7. #37
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    That is what I'm doing. Just going through the up and down emotions. Processing this nonsense
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  8. #38
    Registered User beastin007's Avatar
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    Stay strong brother! Start meditation and just ride through the waves. It just hit me ... im past 3 months nc now. Feelsgoodman
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  9. #39
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kenfowler View Post
    At a party right now. Not really feeling it. I just don't feel like I fit in. I'm not being antisocial but everyone is just drunk as Hell and conversing. I'm just so detached from everything. I've never been into this shiit but I need something to occupy me. Posting online is more fun. I wish I were normal

    Hot girls trying to dance with me, so not feeling it. Disappointing.

    The question that keeps plaguing me...women love being fought for, how hard do you fight and when do you stop fighting? I know it's so much easier to just quit and chalk it up to "not meant to be", but how many people wouldn't be married or together if they just quit? I don't wanna be take advantage of in relationships but also don't wanna quit when things get difficult. Such a gray area.
    You DID fight for her. She was the one who dumped you.

    I've sent you a PM bro.
    "Build strength, don't test it. It will come." (IronKrazy)
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  10. #40
    Registered User khatskevitch's Avatar
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    Write down a list of all her negative qualities here everytime you miss her and go over those negative moments when you feel the urge to break NC.Weigh her negatives with all those positives that make you miss her.
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  11. #41
    Registered User BZA85's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by khatskevitch View Post
    Write down a list of all her negative qualities here everytime you miss her and go over those negative moments when you feel the urge to break NC.Weigh her negatives with all those positives that make you miss her.
    Thanks for this suggestion man. I had not tried this before and just wrote out a list of negative and it was BIG, alarmingly so. Really puts things in perspective that it's not such a great loss.
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  12. #42
    I don't even lift darwinia's Avatar
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    I am struggling hard the last few days

    Keep getting random memories of things we did I hadn't even thought about since it happened. How come my memory has to be so great now...

    I have no interest in breaking NC because I know it would make it worse.
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  13. #43
    Registered User bastianek's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by darwinia View Post
    I am struggling hard the last few days

    Keep getting random memories of things we did I hadn't even thought about since it happened. How come my memory has to be so great now...

    I have no interest in breaking NC because I know it would make it worse.
    Same here at the moment. But i think its pretty normal to have those up and down waves. Staying busy as much as you can helps a lot.
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  14. #44
    Registered User beastin007's Avatar
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    +1.

    The last 2 months have been great, but the feels hit me today lol. 3 fukin months nc .... well well .. just gotta put trust in the prosess
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  15. #45
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    In for another year! She still pops up in my mind from time to time, but only because of the good sex
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  16. #46
    ayy Schlumpf's Avatar
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    im seriously considering texting her
    my finals are this week and my mind is stuck on her even though im on my second month of NC
    wtf bros
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  17. #47
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Schlumpf View Post
    im seriously considering texting her
    my finals are this week and my mind is stuck on her even though im on my second month of NC
    wtf bros
    I forbid you to do that you german ***g0t.

    Go back to your studies.
    "Build strength, don't test it. It will come." (IronKrazy)
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  18. #48
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Emotional roller coasting is normal during NC. Stick with it you phagg0ts.
    "Build strength, don't test it. It will come." (IronKrazy)
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  19. #49
    ayy Schlumpf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jotenko View Post
    I forbid you to do that you german ***g0t.

    Go back to your studies.
    whats the worst that could happen? she could ignore me and my mind would be at peace again
    genetic dead end crew
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  20. #50
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Schlumpf View Post
    whats the worst that could happen? she could ignore me and my mind would be at peace again
    If that's so why are you NC in the first place?
    "Build strength, don't test it. It will come." (IronKrazy)
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  21. #51
    ayy Schlumpf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jotenko View Post
    If that's so why are you NC in the first place?
    good question.. she didn't want me back and i should be glad its that way because she also did a lot of chit. here's my thread if you want to read about my situation http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=173110731
    haven't broken NC since i made that thread
    i know youre right, but my mind is constantly like 'what if..'
    genetic dead end crew
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  22. #52
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Schlumpf View Post
    good question.. she didn't want me back and i should be glad its that way because she also did a lot of chit. here's my thread if you want to read about my situation http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=173110731
    haven't broken NC since i made that thread
    i know youre right, but my mind is constantly like 'what if..'
    1. She cheated on you.
    2. You're still a kid.

    Move the **** on.
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  23. #53
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    Originally Posted by Schlumpf View Post
    whats the worst that could happen? she could ignore me and my mind would be at peace again
    Your mind is tricking you, you want to contact her so bad that you start to make up things to convince yourself that it is a good choice
    Only you know exactly what happened between you two, but in general you just make things worse if you break NC (I did it before, felt good for maybe 1 week, then i hated myself for it)
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  24. #54
    Registered User HerculesGhost's Avatar
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    I had a few posts in the last thread about taking some time apart to focus on personal issues that were affecting my relationship (namely, how I act when I'm drunk and how it's caused fights). We had agreed to stay together but just take a few days to decompress after a big fight and then meet up Saturday.

    When we met up Saturday, she looked like absolute ****. She was hungover. Turns out she was out all night drinking and dancing with her coworkers (mostly male). And then she told me she went out for a drink with an old friend of hers (male) a few nights prior. I feel like an idiot. She has violated boundaries that were clearly laid down previously. She claims nothing happened and that going out these times only reinforced the idea that she wanted to be with me, but she has disrespected me and the relationship. There's no way I can be with her now. And if I stayed with her, it would only teach her subconsciously that she can do whatever she wants and still have me. Fukk that. I fukked her, ate some pizza, crashed, fukked her again in the morning, she cried a bunch and had a minor panic attack (probably bull****, tbh) and then I left with all of my stuff.

    Day 1 NC, brahs. It hasn't hit me that hard yet, but it might.
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  25. #55
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    The ups and downs are absolute garbage. I'm barely eating, sleeping all day and then..... I'll feel fine. Then back to feeling like shiit.
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  26. #56
    Registered User kenfowler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Schlumpf View Post
    im seriously considering texting her
    my finals are this week and my mind is stuck on her even though im on my second month of NC
    wtf bros
    Don't do it. I know how it feels. It's the absolute worst feeling there is. You need to be strong. I have just as much "what if" nonsense going through my brain. Ask Jotenko. I'm a mess.

    HerculesGhost said something powerful:

    "There's no way I can be with her now. And if I stayed with her, it would only teach her subconsciously that she can do whatever she wants and still have me. Fukk that"

    Convince yourself the this is true. Know it. Self worth and respect is needed badly
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  27. #57
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HerculesGhost View Post
    I had a few posts in the last thread about taking some time apart to focus on personal issues that were affecting my relationship (namely, how I act when I'm drunk and how it's caused fights). We had agreed to stay together but just take a few days to decompress after a big fight and then meet up Saturday.

    When we met up Saturday, she looked like absolute ****. She was hungover. Turns out she was out all night drinking and dancing with her coworkers (mostly male). And then she told me she went out for a drink with an old friend of hers (male) a few nights prior. I feel like an idiot. She has violated boundaries that were clearly laid down previously. She claims nothing happened and that going out these times only reinforced the idea that she wanted to be with me, but she has disrespected me and the relationship. There's no way I can be with her now. And if I stayed with her, it would only teach her subconsciously that she can do whatever she wants and still have me. Fukk that. I fukked her, ate some pizza, crashed, fukked her again in the morning, she cried a bunch and had a minor panic attack (probably bull****, tbh) and then I left with all of my stuff.

    Day 1 NC, brahs. It hasn't hit me that hard yet, but it might.
    You've done everything right. NC but don't be bitter towards her. At least she was honest with you on what she did.
    "Build strength, don't test it. It will come." (IronKrazy)
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  28. #58
    Registered User cpoint10's Avatar
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    Had a gf who lived with me, together for over 2.5 years. I became complacent, met a girl at a bar, and ended breaking things off with my long-term. As time progressed, realized new girl was psychotic, and realized my long-term was a pretty special girl. Ended up telling her i made a mistake etc. She told me she was ultimately frustrated because the irony that she felt what I was going through the first two weeks, but now knows she has to be strong and figure her life out, etc. I've caved a few times with texting etc, but wanted your opinions in a situation where you're ultimately trying to get them back, if it's better to go NC, or periodic check-ins, or regular contact. So far it's been around a month and a half- 2 months since the initial break-up. Thoughts boys? Emotions suk.
    "You either get better or worse every day, you never stay the same." Which way will you go?

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  29. #59
    Registered User jotenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cpoint10 View Post
    Had a gf who lived with me, together for over 2.5 years. I became complacent, met a girl at a bar, and ended breaking things off with my long-term. As time progressed, realized new girl was psychotic, and realized my long-term was a pretty special girl. Ended up telling her i made a mistake etc. She told me she was ultimately frustrated because the irony that she felt what I was going through the first two weeks, but now knows she has to be strong and figure her life out, etc. I've caved a few times with texting etc, but wanted your opinions in a situation where you're ultimately trying to get them back, if it's better to go NC, or periodic check-ins, or regular contact. So far it's been around a month and a half- 2 months since the initial break-up. Thoughts boys? Emotions suk.
    If you already made it clear that you regret it and you want her back, move on. You ****ed up. But sometimes, if you don't **** up you will not learn and you will not be a better man.

    I believe that you are now worthy of her. But she moved on, and so should you.

    Sorry brah.
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  30. #60
    Registered User cpoint10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jotenko View Post
    If you already made it clear that you regret it and you want her back, move on. You ****ed up. But sometimes, if you don't **** up you will not learn and you will not be a better man.

    I believe that you are now worthy of her. But she moved on, and so should you.

    Sorry brah.
    She basically has said she needs to forget what happened, in order to ever be able to start over again with us. She has told me she realized at the end of the day we only have ourselves, and need to be comfortable and have our lives together before anything. She said in the future she doesn't know what will happen, and could see us back together as a possibility. This open-ended stuff I feel is just giving me false hope.
    "You either get better or worse every day, you never stay the same." Which way will you go?

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