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  1. #1
    Registered User KMadigan777's Avatar
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    Can you guys help me 'slow down' with women, got a girl that seems legit

    Hoping some of the guys that are better with going slow with women (pondus etc) can help me with this one. So got a girls number, and we texted a LOT the first 2-3 days ( I followed most rules of keeping it short, reply less etc) and she would often initiate me, such as writing first the next morning etc.

    I called her yesterday for first time, I knew she was busy this week so purposely was literally 'only to talk' and break the ice a bit.

    My question is, what do I roll on this one now? It basically went first 2-3 days mass texting, followed by a call (she seemed interested as at one point call dropped and SHE actually called back apologizing). Today nothing from me, or from her.

    What do I do here bros, I am pretty good at the ons stuff of pushing till it happens or blows up, but slow game I am bad at. I want to try setting something up for weeked. Text her at all, or just call on wens or something?
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  2. #2
    Registered User Cheers00's Avatar
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    I am 100% certain she is wondering why you haven't asked her out on a date this weekend.
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    Nah mean, jelly bean? FU3L's Avatar
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    Why are you texting so much? Why haven't you asked her on a date yet? You're getting ahead of yourself here, too much chit chat not enough scheduling dates.
    The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
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    Registered User KMadigan777's Avatar
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    yeah I know, the text was heavy early, but she was responding and initiating a lot. Regardless, given I talked on sunday, what is next, wait till like wens to ask?

    Also, I have gone back and forth about leaving it vague 'hey want to go on a date this weekend' vs 'want to go on a date sat. at 2pm?'
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    Registered User Nedo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KMadigan777 View Post
    yeah I know, the text was heavy early, but she was responding and initiating a lot. Regardless, given I talked on sunday, what is next, wait till like wens to ask?

    Also, I have gone back and forth about leaving it vague 'hey want to go on a date this weekend' vs 'want to go on a date sat. at 2pm?'
    Just ask her when she is free to get together and then suggest a time and place based on when she is free
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    Das it, Mane Comboking's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KMadigan777 View Post
    yeah I know, the text was heavy early, but she was responding and initiating a lot. Regardless, given I talked on sunday, what is next, wait till like wens to ask?

    Also, I have gone back and forth about leaving it vague 'hey want to go on a date this weekend' vs 'want to go on a date sat. at 2pm?'
    2days of texting and you have not asked her out yet, are you her texting buddy?

    texting should only be used to set something up
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    Registered User azakdan2682's Avatar
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    Ideally as I think I mentioned to you before is you want to lead the conversations and cut if off when it is going to long and set up a date, try setting it up within the first or second talk. 'Slowing things down' is not necessarily the run up to the first meet, more so how fast sex occurs. Have a date in mind beforehand and find out her availability and ask her. I think you are in good standing and she will be eager to meet you, given how interested she has seemed.
    Last edited by azakdan2682; 11-28-2016 at 09:11 PM.
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  8. #8
    Nah mean, jelly bean? FU3L's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KMadigan777 View Post
    yeah I know, the text was heavy early, but she was responding and initiating a lot. Regardless, given I talked on sunday, what is next, wait till like wens to ask?

    Also, I have gone back and forth about leaving it vague 'hey want to go on a date this weekend' vs 'want to go on a date sat. at 2pm?'
    I wouldn't call it a 'date' that seems weird, pick a venue and ask her to it. Find out when she is free before doing so.
    The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
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  9. #9
    Registered User KMadigan777's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FU3L View Post
    I wouldn't call it a 'date' that seems weird, pick a venue and ask her to it. Find out when she is free before doing so.
    My typical go to is a hike followed by pizza, is that too 'datish'?
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  10. #10
    Nah mean, jelly bean? FU3L's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KMadigan777 View Post
    My typical go to is a hike followed by pizza, is that too 'datish'?
    No that's fine I just mean don't call it a 'date' even though it is. "Will you go on a date with me?" seems like something I would have said in Jr. High.
    The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Konrai's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KMadigan777 View Post
    Hoping some of the guys that are better with going slow with women (pondus etc) can help me with this one. So got a girls number, and we texted a LOT the first 2-3 days ( I followed most rules of keeping it short, reply less etc) and she would often initiate me, such as writing first the next morning etc.

    I called her yesterday for first time, I knew she was busy this week so purposely was literally 'only to talk' and break the ice a bit.

    My question is, what do I roll on this one now? It basically went first 2-3 days mass texting, followed by a call (she seemed interested as at one point call dropped and SHE actually called back apologizing). Today nothing from me, or from her.

    What do I do here bros, I am pretty good at the ons stuff of pushing till it happens or blows up, but slow game I am bad at. I want to try setting something up for weeked. Text her at all, or just call on wens or something?
    See this is the main problem with your thinking,and other similar posters....You guys WAY over complicate dating in my opinion, and I really have no clue why, all it does it make it more stressful for yourself and the other person involved. You meet someone.....Text them....Ask them out, it's that time simple, if they are interested in meeting you THEY WILL put in the effort to see you.

    The only time you have to worry about these 'games' is when you're dealing with insecure low quality men and women in my honest opinion, in other words the type of people who put way more emphasis on the 'process' rather than looking for an actual outcome. Just set a date and be done with it, if she doesn't show or respond move on, it will give you much more peace of mind doing things that way trust me.
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  12. #12
    Registered User KMadigan777's Avatar
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    I really need to get it into my head that just because I am not texting her doesnt mean its bad. Its really hard knowing girls are inundated with attention all day that somehow not firing at them helps, but...people claim it does. I know I fuk up every early relationship by texting to much.
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    how did you guys meet? why are you talking so much over text and on the phone and not getting together?
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    whatever topic you are on can easily be turned into a date invite, chicks love that chit too.
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    Registered User KMadigan777's Avatar
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    Well this one is over. I think I killed it a bit by texting too much early, plus I think a new guy got in pic as her texts dropped way down and I saw her on OKC all the time. We loosely had a 'date' set for tomorrow. I texted a confirmation, and got 'so busy, lets rain check it!' I wrote back 'k bye' and deleted number.

    Sad. She seemed like a nice girl.
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    Originally Posted by KMadigan777 View Post
    Well this one is over. I think I killed it a bit by texting too much early, plus I think a new guy got in pic as her texts dropped way down and I saw her on OKC all the time. We loosely had a 'date' set for tomorrow. I texted a confirmation, and got 'so busy, lets rain check it!' I wrote back 'k bye' and deleted number.

    Sad. She seemed like a nice girl.
    In those situation I go with the 3-strike system. People get busy and things happen. If she reschedules/flakes 3 times regardless of the excuse that's when I next her.

    I wouldn't NC because she had to reschedule one date. But as you said, the candle burned too hot at the start before you asked her out on a date. Chalk it up as a learning experience!
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    Tnel is a pig bottom GhenghisPWN's Avatar
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    Stop being an open book/entering texting relationships with girls you just met. You're killing all the mystery you have and she is not getting her urge to CHASE YOU satisfied. You're too phucking easy. STOP IT.

    Use phone to set dates. Talk and LISTEN while on dates in PERSON - NOT on the phone.

    Call/text to set a date, go on date. After a few days inquire to see if she wants to go on another date in a week or so. After 2-4 dates she'll be blowing up your phone and use these instances of initiating to set up another date.
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  18. #18
    Registered User azakdan2682's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GhenghisPWN View Post
    Stop being an open book/entering texting relationships with girls you just met. You're killing all the mystery you have and she is not getting her urge to CHASE YOU satisfied. You're too phucking easy. STOP IT.

    Use phone to set dates. Talk and LISTEN while on dates in PERSON - NOT on the phone.

    Call/text to set a date, go on date. After a few days inquire to see if she wants to go on another date in a week or so. After 2-4 dates she'll be blowing up your phone and use these instances of initiating to set up another date.
    This right here, I tried explaining that before. You will get it Km77. Its an OKC girl, don't expect to much from the free online dating sites. Match may be better option if you are trying to find something more srs, I have gave up on POF and okc for anything srs, I dated some for a decent period of time but never established an exclusive relationship.
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    should of took my advice like 6 days ago, instead you went ahead and become her texting beta cuck buddy
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