My anorexia recovery motivation thread.

[Grappa]

Damn, thanks for sharing your story. I'm super happy to see you recovering. Do you post in the ED thread we have here?

What do u mean about ED thread?

[DoItForCuddles]

What do u mean about ED thread?

There is a giant thread meant to support people recovering from eating disorders. I used to post there a few months ago.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=149942713

[Grappa]

Big news guys, today, i felt myself really full. REALLY REALLY REALLY stuffed, i have checked my cal intake, it was around 3200, note, that my dietitian given me a meal plan, that i have to eat 3500 kcal/day in order to gain my 0.5 kg / week. When i was deep inside my hypermetabolism, i always felt hungry, but right now, jesus This is so awesome, this is something that i really missed, feeling finally fullness. Next friday i am going to visit my doc, to make a weight in, and also i will tell her this. Have a nice day guys, i am going to do my hw, i will have an exam tomorrow :/ Fk and i am unprepared as shiet, but.. I hope i am lucky to pass Cya all!

[IowanIceman]

I was about to lose hope until I saw your posts and this thread, thank you for the inspiration.
I had a few questions I asked in the other thread, but I'll ask again.

How long were you anorexic? Did you have anemia? Did you experience low testosterone? How long did you avoid exercise and focus on eating?

I'm 6'2", and I was only 152 lbs at my lowest, and since then I have slowly gained up to 180lbs. My Pre-ED weight was 195, but I was very muscular, whereas I'm skinny fat now.

I really want to start exercising, but I can't tell if my body is ready. Most importantly I want my testosterone back before I get into the weight room.

Let me know what you think, and keep up the good work.

[SteakAddict]

Good luck mate, You're story is admirable and a good motivator for me personally. I haven't suffered from anorexia but am very skinny and trying to gain some mass. Thanks for the log.

[Grappa]

I was about to lose hope until I saw your posts and this thread, thank you for the inspiration.
I had a few questions I asked in the other thread, but I'll ask again.

How long were you anorexic? Did you have anemia? Did you experience low testosterone? How long did you avoid exercise and focus on eating?

I'm 6'2", and I was only 152 lbs at my lowest, and since then I have slowly gained up to 180lbs. My Pre-ED weight was 195, but I was very muscular, whereas I'm skinny fat now.

I really want to start exercising, but I can't tell if my body is ready. Most importantly I want my testosterone back before I get into the weight room.

Let me know what you think, and keep up the good work.

I was anorexic for about a year, and no i don't have anemia, uhmm when i was at my worst i experienced lower t levels, i have avoided for 4 months. Also, carbs boost t levels, don't be afraid, and be patient everybody is different, you will feel it when you are ready. For example: You want to lift cuz u wanna look good? If yes you are not ready. If you want to lift, cuz u feel yourself energetic, that is the time, when you should start lifting. Also don't be afraid of T levels, be patient, on the other hand, congrats for your recovery, and don't be sad about " skinny fat " your bodyfat will move from your stomach. At the beginning i have gained all of my fat around that area, but now cuz i am hypermetabolic, what is kinda sucks, i am gaining fat really really hard :/ But i want some, cuz here the weather starts to be really cold DD Keep up the progress, and stay strong!! Also, i am glad to hear, that i can encourage you )

[Grappa]

Good luck mate, You're story is admirable and a good motivator for me personally. I haven't suffered from anorexia but am very skinny and trying to gain some mass. Thanks for the log.

Thank you! Just eat your food and gain And don't forget, progressive overload is the key, you should push yourself every time when you are lifting

[Grappa]

Upper/Hypertrophy

Incline dumbell press: 2x10 12kg 2x10 14kg// 2016.10.06: 1x10 12 kg, 1x9 14kg, 2x10 14kg
Cable flyes: 2x15 15kg 2x15 20kg// 2016.10.06: 4x15 20kg
Dumbbell Row: 4x10 20kg// 2016.10.06: 4x10 22kg
Close Grip Pulldown: 4x10 45kg// 2016.10.06: 1x12 45kg, 1x11 45kg, 2x10 45 kg
Seated Dumbbell Press: 2x10 10kg 1x10 12kg// 2016.10.06: 2x10 12 kg, 1x8 12 kg, 1x8 10 kg
Lateral Raises/dropset: 4x8 8kg/ 4x8 4kg// 2016.10.06: 4x8 kg,/2x8 7kg=2x8 6kg
Reverse Flyes: ( I hate this shiet ) : 3x10 10kg// 2016.10.06: 3x11 10kg
Hammer curl: 3x12 12kg// 2016.10.06: 4x12 12kg
Pushdown: 2x12 20kg 1x10 25kg// 2016.10.06: 3x12 25 kg 1x12 20 kg

Lower/Hypertrophy

Front squat 4x10 60kg// 2016.10.07: 4x10 75kg
Stiff deadlift 4x10 60kg// 2016.10.07: 1x8 70kg, 3x10 70kg
Lunges 3x12 10kg// 2016.10.07: 3x13 10 kg
Leg Extensions 3x15 55kg// 2016.10.07: 1x15 65kg, 2x15 60kg
Leg Curls dropset 8x4 50/25kg// 2016.10.07: 1x8 60/30kg, 1x8 60/45kg, 1x8 55/40kg
Standing Calf Raises 3x25// 2016.10.07: 3x30
Weighted Calf Raises 3x25 45kg// 2016.10.07: 3x20 65kg ( i can barely walk now xD )
Ab roller: Burnout// 2016.10.07: 4x20
Hanging leg raises 4x20 // 2016.10.07:4x22

Tomorrow upper strength day, so i want to hit some fking pr-s xDD

[Grappa]

Upper/Strength

Bench: 4x5 50 kg// 2016.10.10: 2x6 45kg, 2x5 50kg
Incline Bench: 3x5 40 kg// 2016.10.10: 1x5 40kg, 2x 42.5kg
Deep row: 2x5 40 kg 1x5 45 kg// 2016.10.10: 1x 10x40 kg, 2x6 50kg
Shoulder press: 3x5 30 kg// 2016.10.10: 1x5 30kg, 2x5 32.5kg
Facepull: 1x8 30kg 1x8 35 kg// 2016.10.10: 2x8 35kg, 1x10 30kg
Incline dumbell curl: 3x9 9kg// 2016.10.10: 1x9 9kg, 2x8 10kg
Skullcrusher 3x9 20kg// 2016.10.10: 1x10 20kg, 2x 8 22.5kg
Pull ups: // 2016.10.10: Bodyweight 1x5, 2x6, and 1x5 55kg pulldown

Ah guys, i have visited my doc today also, i have told her that i am feeling cold, etc. She checked my weight, and it seems i have hit a weight gain plateau. I mean i am gaining, but in a very slowly, i have gained only 0.2 kg in the past 2 weeks. She told me, that i have to weight myself at home for a week every day, to see what happens, also track cals for that week, but i have been warned that this might be triggering :/ So i am planning to stay strong, track what should be tracked, and ignore triggers also But to be honest, i know my weight not stays the same everyday, so i think i can "control" that ED bullshiet what pulls you back. BUt guys, i am really sad, cuz i have to eat a lot of food cuz of this shiet hypermetabolism, and i know it is expensive, and all what is in my mind, that my parents paying a lot of money just to feed me, which i find terrible, but on the other hand i should accept this fact, and i hope this state will not last long. I mean i enjoy eating, but it is really hard sometimes, cuz i start to feel really stuffed, and this is kinda unconfortable for me. Yes at the beginning it was fun, but now not really On the other hand, my doc told me that if my weight does not go up even when i am eating the recovery amount for me, which is alrdy high, i think around 3400-3500, so depends on my weight gain this week, this prbly gonna be upped another 300 or 500:/ Wish me luck guys, and also have a nice day

[IowanIceman]

Grappa good to see your progress. I have a quick question for you.

Have you ever experienced any heart palpitations? I've noticed my heart has started to skip beats every now and then, but I'm well into recovery, it never did this when I was underweight and restricting.

[Grappa]

Grappa good to see your progress. I have a quick question for you.

Have you ever experienced any heart palpitations? I've noticed my heart has started to skip beats every now and then, but I'm well into recovery, it never did this when I was underweight and restricting.

When i was at my worst yes, but since then not, are u drinking caffeine/ energy drinks?

[IowanIceman]

When i was at my worst yes, but since then not, are u drinking caffeine/ energy drinks?

I have not been lately, I used to a lot though.

[Grappa]

I have not been lately, I used to a lot though.

Hmm and how long u have been in recovery? Also what is u'r bmi now?

[IowanIceman]

Hmm and how long u have been in recovery? Also what is u'r bmi now?

I was in quasi recovery for about 3-4 months, and in full recovery for a little under 2 months. My bmi is 22.9, and I'm very close to my pre ED weight

[Grappa]

Oh so u are following the MM approach? On the other hand good job for u r recovery progress. And if i use the mm approach that means i am in quasi recovery cuz lifting is a deadly sin, even going to a walk also... i dont really like mm cuz of it. I mean if u do sports for burning cals that is problem, but i dont understan why i should not do it if i enjoy it... back to my reply, i was a caffeine addict too, i try to limit myself for only 2 cups now, but long term cafeine can do srs dmg. I suggest u to go and check u r cardiac profil as fast as u can, cuz u r health is the most important, also try not to force urself now to do physical activities until u r cardiac problem is not solved, cuz i dont want u to have somekind of cardiac failure. Also dont lose hope, and keep in mind that even if u overshoot, your body will bounce back. Also u are worki.g with professionals, or u try it on u r own?

[IowanIceman]

Oh so u are following the MM approach? On the other hand good job for u r recovery progress. And if i use the mm approach that means i am in quasi recovery cuz lifting is a deadly sin, even going to a walk also... i dont really like mm cuz of it. I mean if u do sports for burning cals that is problem, but i dont understan why i should not do it if i enjoy it... back to my reply, i was a caffeine addict too, i try to limit myself for only 2 cups now, but long term cafeine can do srs dmg. I suggest u to go and check u r cardiac profil as fast as u can, cuz u r health is the most important, also try not to force urself now to do physical activities until u r cardiac problem is not solved, cuz i dont want u to have somekind of cardiac failure. Also dont lose hope, and keep in mind that even if u overshoot, your body will bounce back. Also u are worki.g with professionals, or u try it on u r own?

Thank you for the help. I intend to see a professional about this next week when I have more time. I have been following MM for the last 2 months and the only exercise I've had is walking to and from classes. I won't be exercising until I can figure this situation out, I don't drink coffee anymore either.

I'm currently working on it by myself, there are not any good professionals for anorexia in my area, but I'm sure I can find someone to check out my heart nearby.

[naffer123]

your legs arent strong. they are actually pretty damn weak. 110 kg leg press aint shît. its baby weight

[Grappa]

your legs arent strong. they are actually pretty damn weak. 110 kg leg press aint shît. its baby weight

I am not even legpressing anymore, ot the other hand for me personally they are strong For som1 who was not even able to left his room, it's kinda progress u know

[Grappa]

Lower/Strength

Squat: 3x5 90kg 1x5 95kg 1x1 100kg // 2016.10.11. : 2x5 90kg, 1x5 95kg, 1x5 100kg
Deadlift: 2x5 80kg 2x5 70kg// 2016.10.11. : 1x3 90kg, 1x4 80kg, 1x4 85 kg
Hack squat: 3x8 60kg// 2016.10.11. : 1x8 60kg, 2x8 65kg
Standing Calf Raises: 5x25// 2016.10.11. : I skipped this, cuz my calves are sore
Weighted Knee Raises: 4x15 5kg//2016.10.11. : 1x30 5kg, 2x15 5kg
Cable Crunch: 2x15 35kg 2x15 37.5kg//2016.10.11. : 1x10 40kg, 2x15 37.5kg, 1x12 37.5kg
Glute-Ham Raises: 3x12//2016.10.11. : 1x15, 2x12

Cals: 2016.10.10.: 3700+ ( i do not count veggies xD ) Trigger signs: 0, Activities: Lifting (Upper strength), going to school, catching bus. Morning weight: 57.4
Cals: 2016.10.11.: 3900 Trigger signs: 0 Activities: Lower/Strength, went to iceskating with my friends. Morning weight: 57.2

Upper/Hypertrophy

Incline dumbell press: 2016.10.12: 2x12 14kg, 1x6 16kg 1x8 14kg 1x9 14kg
Cable flyes: 2016.10.12: 2x16 20kg 1x15 20kg 1x10 25kg
Dumbbell Row: 2016.10.12: 1x8 24kg, 3x11 22kg
Close Grip Pulldown: 2016.10.12: 2x15 45kg, 2x10 45kg
Seated Dumbbell Press: 2016.10.12:1x12 12kg, 1x10 12kg 1x8 12kg
Lateral Raises/dropset: 2016.10.12: 10/8kg, 9/7kg, 10/7kg
Reverse Flyes: ( I hate this shiet ) : 2016.10.12: 3x15 5kg
Hammer curl: 2016.10.12 1x12 14kg, 2x12 12kg
Pushdown: 2016.10.12 1x15 25kg, 1x8 25kg, 1x10 20kg

Cals: 2016.10.12: 3400, Triggers: 0 Activities: Upper hyper, +15 min low intensity cardio. Morning weight: 56.7---> Wtf?
Cals: 2016.10.13: 3700 Triggers: 0 Activities: Playing wow all day, cleaned some shiet around the house. Morning weight: 57.1

[IowanIceman]

Grappa, what is your resting heart rate? On average preferably

[Grappa]

Grappa, what is your resting heart rate? On average preferably

Just checked, 65 beat /min

[Grappa]

Grappa, what is your resting heart rate? On average preferably

Just don't overstress u'r cardiovascular proble, go and check it at the clinic, it will pass.

[IowanIceman]

Thanks, mine is still in between 45-55 when I'm resting. I believe it is too early for me to begin exercising, don't want to damage my heart.

I went to a doctor and they are referring me to a cardiology clinic.

[Grappa]

Thanks, mine is still in between 45-55 when I'm resting. I believe it is too early for me to begin exercising, don't want to damage my heart.

I went to a doctor and they are referring me to a cardiology clinic.

On the other hand your hr is not dangerously low

[Grappa]

Aaaaalrght guys, sorry for not posting, i was at the hospital for BMR test etc, and i had to get some feeding there, so the thing is... My fking BMR test came out as around 2800-2900... The docs was just shocked, i got one day feeding, and another cal set. I have received yesterday 4200 calories, the bloat is real, i am looking like a pufferfish now So my docs told me, that my body is hardly putting on any fat, and cause of the increased mass i have, my bmr ramps even higher. My bloodwork was awesome, only problem is my thyroid. My TSH test came back as 0.42 which is borderline around hyperthyroid, but my physician told me, that prbly it won't last long, just my body needs to slow down a bit, also my testosterone is really really high, but also the doc told me that i am going through a phase which is like puberty. So i am calm now, i have received my new "mealplan" Also, which is a good sign, that i was not triggered guys, even i had to track cals for a short period and weight myself, nothing.. Even when they told me my weight after the 4.2 cal, i was just standing there and, who cares? It's just water, on the other hand, who cares about weight overall? It is just a number... Anyway, i am going to upload later on the day my lifting stuff etc, now i am going to visit my family. Cya guys, and have a great day!

[Grappa]

Relaxed, and fleyed pics

[Budaan]

Respect to you, you made massive improvement!! always great to see that working out can be a cure for a problem. Just be sure not to take it over the top and judge yourself too harshly. One who does this sport for meditation purposes only and let his body change with the season, is really harvesting the fruits of good karma.

That being said, if its about gaining some weight, this post workout shake reigns for me!:

One liter of whole milk.
Olive oil (Few tbspoons)
Cocao powder (Or nibs)
Few scoops of whey
4 to six raw free range trusted eggs with the yellow added.
Creatine
Peanut butter

Throw that all in a blender and blend it for some time. And if you can afford it i would add some Royal Jelly, but that **** expensive.

[IowanIceman]

Relaxed, and fleyed pics

Looking good, keep the progress going.

[Grappa]

Last week i have done 5 hyperthrophy days, and 2 days i have eaten ****loads of food, really I was on a wellness " weekend " with my family, only for 2 days, the problem was i had to eat out 3 times/day but that was awesome D Only bad thing was, the food was really greasy, and i am more satiated on carbs rather than fat, but this is a small thing.

So today, and tomorrow i am doing strenght focused training, today was my first, and i have done some crazy PR-s.

Squat: 1x5 100, 1x5 110, 2x5 100, 1x1 120 kg. My squat went from 100 - 120 in two weeks
Deadlift: 1x4 90, 1x4 95, 1x2 100kg---> PR
Hack squat: 1x8 65, 1x8, 70, 1x8 75kg
Calves on leg press machine: 1x15 150kg
Weighted leg raises: 15x4 with 8 kg
Cable crunch: 1x15 40, 2x10 40, 1x15 37.5kg

First goals: 300kg Bench+Squat+Deadlift
My first 10k run.

[Grappa]

Upper/S 10.25

Bench: 1x5 50kg, 1x4 52.5kg 1x5 52.5
+ Bench: 1x5 42.5, 2x5 45
Weighted pull ups: bodyweight+5kg 3x5
Deep row: 1x6 50kg, 2x5 60kg
Rope facepull: 1x8 35kg, 2x8 40kg
Shoulder press: (Srs lagging here) 1x5 30kg, 1x6 32.5 1x4 32.5 failed 35 kg try
Inc dumbell curl: 3x8 12kg
Skullcrusher: 2x10, 1x8 25

Lower hyper 10.26

Squat: 2x10 85kg, 2x10 90kg
Lunge: 4x12 15 kg
Stiff deadlift: 4x10 80kg
Leg ext. : 4x15 65kg
Leg curl: 3x 65/45
Calves: bodyweight burnout
Weighted calves: 3x25 65 kg
Leg raises: 15x4
Russian twists: 30x4

15 min cardio.

Alrght, my strenght is progressing well, but my shoulders starting to lag, which is not good cuz i want OP shoulders D