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  1. #1741
    Powered by Reese's Puffs anandagirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Partyrocking View Post
    There are more people in the US that believe the moon landing was fake than there are vegans.

    I learned this from my professor when I took an Animal Welfare class in grad school. It woke me up.
    Holy F***
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  2. #1742
    Hammy Hammy Hobbes thehobbes's Avatar
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    Moon landing would be such a stupid thing to make up. If you're going to conspiracy then go BIG. Say you sent people to Saturn. Moon is right freaking there, I can see it every night, not impressive.
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  3. #1743
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thehobbes View Post
    Will have to check out kiwi berries - never heard of those!
    Maybe hard to find, since it's the first time I saw them, but I should have bought them all.
    /weird rant
    Nah, it's a good rant. Moderation in everything basically. America has a food moderation problem in general, but everyone keeps looking for a magic fad diet instead of following th solid nutritional guidelines of the USDA. Mostly whole foods, lots of veg, some lean meats, moderate red meat and dairy, and occasionally enjoy some crap (paraphrasing. Most people know this is true already, but they just don't want to believe it or something.

    Like you said, if people want to, that's cool. Just be honest, say "I like eating crap, there's no health justification, I'm doing what I want." How many people who enjoy crack are saying "well, it's part of this new cleanse... super healthy." >.<
    And now I'm thinking how funny that would be if a stray child showed up at your front door. You just go sigh... guess I gotta keep it then, at least my mom will be thrilled.

    Originally Posted by Partyrocking View Post
    There are more people in the US that believe the moon landing was fake than there are vegans.

    I learned this from my professor when I took an Animal Welfare class in grad school. It woke me up.
    O.O That's... sad. And alarming.

    Probably more flat Earthers too, to be honest. >.<
    Originally Posted by FallenAngel80 View Post
    Good on you for telling your mum your stance on kids! I guess it's probable that she'll continue making comments but at least you've laid it out to her. You're more justified in ignoring her now!
    Thanks. And yeah, I'm ready for the comments. I've been preparing myself for awhile, lol. She can have grand-ferrets.
    Originally Posted by thehobbes View Post
    Moon landing would be such a stupid thing to make up. If you're going to conspiracy then go BIG. Say you sent people to Saturn. Moon is right freaking there, I can see it every night, not impressive.
    Say you roller bladed on the rings while you're at it. Go big or go home!

    ----
    Been hard to work out this week. Jay brought one of his DB handles, and his 10lb plates, so I can do heavy enough one arm rows, and use mine for shoulders. I can do some push ups, not that I do much chest anyway. Basically legs are hard. I have no motivation to do legs with DBs, lol. I try to manage some.

    I saw this video pop up on youtube, from Athlean-X about hip flexors. I checked it out, and he was showing how to test for tightness versus weakness, and I don't think I can blame my hip flexors for any of mu issues any more. I always though my stretches were good, and had doubts, but if that video's legit mine are definitely fine. My new theory is abductor strength (which may explain the trouble pulling/keeping my knees out during squats). Just going to keep trying until my squats are bomb af.
    If anyone's curious:



    Diet is, ok I think? I still don't know for sure, but I've run out of certain foods faster. Even if my counts are still off, there's higher than last week. Had my first veggie pizza last night (broc, spinach, peppers, onion, and cherry tomatoes), and holy crapnuts was it good. They really loaded up up too, why did I not eat veggies on pizza before?
    PRs: 95lbs/126lbs/212lbs
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  4. #1744
    Registered User Fiction2Fitness's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LunaLifts View Post
    Had my first veggie pizza last night (broc, spinach, peppers, onion, and cherry tomatoes), and holy crapnuts was it good. They really loaded up up too, why did I not eat veggies on pizza before?
    That is a good question. Veggies are good on pizza. Though I wouldn't get tomatoes or peppers on them but other things are really good too cause pizza is awesome in general. I want to have brussel's sprouts some day on a pizza.
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  5. #1745
    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    HI LUNA! I'm sorry I've been MIA! I want to second the idea of vegetables on pizza. That is my absolute favorite--don't even need cheese except for the extra protein. Favorites are broc****, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and spinach. Olives are good for a little fat and flavor. Whole wheat crust complements the vegetables well, I find. The only danger is the crust breaking under the weight of the vegetables.

    BTW the hip stretch video link isn't working Sounds interesting tho.
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  6. #1746
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fiction2Fitness View Post
    That is a good question. Veggies are good on pizza. Though I wouldn't get tomatoes or peppers on them but other things are really good too cause pizza is awesome in general. I want to have brussel's sprouts some day on a pizza.
    I wouldn't have to make a pizza myself is it had brussels sports, I'd be worried how a place would cook them, since they can be a bit funky if not cooked right.
    Originally Posted by shesprints View Post
    HI LUNA! I'm sorry I've been MIA! I want to second the idea of vegetables on pizza. That is my absolute favorite--don't even need cheese except for the extra protein. Favorites are broc****, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and spinach. Olives are good for a little fat and flavor. Whole wheat crust complements the vegetables well, I find. The only danger is the crust breaking under the weight of the vegetables.

    BTW the hip stretch video link isn't working Sounds interesting tho.
    It's ok. I've been bad keeping up more times than I can count.

    I've been trying more mushrooms, but mostly in Chinese food, there's so much sauce it doesn't tastes like mushrooms I'd tried before. I hate olives though, either kind. Jay loved them, and if they ever accidentally put them on my salads I just give them to him.

    Here a link to that video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCADorwJ6Ik


    ----
    Finally back to more proper workouts again, job's all done, so no more hotel living. Power went out for 7 hours the day after our snowstorm, it was boring as fluff, but worse it was so globdamn cold. Yesterday I decided to do just lower (l/u/l/u this week), so I wouldn't be sore everywhere at once, lol. Though my back got some soreness from RDL bracing, and a few band excises I'm trying to do for my posture (saw them on a video from the same guy who made the video linked above).

    I think I'm going to be on a little less for a while. I'm still doing more of a "go with it" non-plan at the moment, and cutting so I don't have much to log. I haven't been active on the main forums either, because I think every once in awhile you need a break from answering the same questions over, and over, lol. I don't know what to read next, I'm out of new books, so I'm thinking of trying to draw a bit more again.
    I don't know, ever just have those times where you need to... function differently? Lol. No, but just do things differently, put some stuff on different burners? I think I need to find some time in the day where I'm just relaxing, just finding my "moment" if that makes sense. Not like lifting, that helps too, but something less intense too. Be it getting lost in art, trying to meditate again, etc.

    And no worries, this mindset just happens during falls and springs/transitional period of the year. It's not a bad thing, and I'm ok, just need to do what feels right. I don't know if that sounds weird, or whatever. >.< I'll try to pop in here and there for updates, and to catch up with your guys' journals.
    PRs: 95lbs/126lbs/212lbs
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  7. #1747
    Hammy Hammy Hobbes thehobbes's Avatar
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    Oh man, power outages suck! And in the winter they REALLY suck! BRB wearing hoodie and gloves in your own house and running around turning on the light switch in every room because you keep forgetting.
    Current PRs:
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    Deads: 315x1
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  8. #1748
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thehobbes View Post
    Oh man, power outages suck! And in the winter they REALLY suck! BRB wearing hoodie and gloves in your own house and running around turning on the light switch in every room because you keep forgetting.
    And in a hotel they suck the most. Why would a chain like Best Western not have generators?

    Update: Cut's going steady, reeled it in after the whole "navigating a hotel room diet" thing lol. Lifts dong good. Accidentally loaded 10 extra lbs on my RDLs yesterday, I kept thinking "why is this so heavy" until I did the math again. >.< Focused on hams, glutes, and back, because I didn't want to ask for help with squats (Jay's hands got burned pretty bad the other day), and LPDs are always fun. Tomorrow Ill be here for squats, and shoulders. Still working on the stretches, and band work for posture. Being mindful of how I sit is the hardest part.

    Got two months before I want to start getting the cals back up for the next bulk mode, in which case I'll definitely be back on my usual routine for that (if not sooner).
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  9. #1749
    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    Duuuude one of my students is living near an area with serious outages and they actually canceled and rescheduled the SAT because of it. Glad things are better now. Can't imagine living without a kitchen for that long. I do way better on cuts when I cook, for sure. I feel like (in fact, I know, since my mom's in the food business) food from restaurants and so forth is always full of added oil and sugar and stuff.

    They always say you can trick yourself by putting extra weight on the bar and not realizing it, but that's so not true for me. I ALWAYS know.
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  10. #1750
    fluffier than avi phoenix4444's Avatar
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    I miscalculate my weights more than I like to admit to because math.
    *Trying to stay sane and get back to avi status.
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  11. #1751
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shesprints View Post
    Duuuude one of my students is living near an area with serious outages and they actually canceled and rescheduled the SAT because of it. Glad things are better now. Can't imagine living without a kitchen for that long. I do way better on cuts when I cook, for sure. I feel like (in fact, I know, since my mom's in the food business) food from restaurants and so forth is always full of added oil and sugar and stuff.
    Oh yeah, the food quality and quantity are both way better.
    They always say you can trick yourself by putting extra weight on the bar and not realizing it, but that's so not true for me. I ALWAYS know.
    I know if it feels that much heavier. Especially on an off day, when things already feel heavier. Lol.
    Originally Posted by phoenix4444 View Post
    I miscalculate my weights more than I like to admit to because math.
    I mostly do it at Jay's, I get used to my weights, lol.

    ---
    Sorry for being so absent still. Exciting thing is happening, we found a patch of land we liked, and there's been some negotiating, but we reached an agreement! We already got the loan for the rest of what we needed. So now it's calls with the seller, attorneys, the seller has been through this, so she knows how to streamline things, and save both sides some of the extra crap, and fees (because it's just selling a bit of land, ffs). Not that we haven't done research too, to be safe. It's keeping us busy, but I really hope we can fast track this, and soon celebrate having a patch of green to build our first home. This has been a real test on my anxiety, lol, I'm doing a lot of these calls.

    Still cutting down for awhile, I realizes I has a progress pic from after my first fail bulk, a 138lbs, so soon I can compare not to three years ago. Honestly, it'd be cool to try for 130, to compare to my very first before pic, but that's a little ambitious I think. I'd just enjoy seeing me the same weight, that much apart, and see the progress from all this time. Just focusing on each day for now, doing fun stuff with playing with workouts. Today I superset BoRs and DD shoulder presses. Whoo, that kicked my ass. Barely had it in me to do anything else, lol. Just trying to work to intensity to matter what I'm doing.

    Trying to catch up on journals today. Will update if all goes though, and we get that property!
    Will also update if we don't, but let's hope for good things.
    PRs: 95lbs/126lbs/212lbs
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  12. #1752
    Da fuk is this. Echo814's Avatar
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    Crossing fingers that you get the land! Building your own home would be exciting for sure, that's that plan for our next house if we can do it.

    Awesome job on getting the workouts in while you were traveling. I pulled the miscalculated weights the other week with bench, thought I had 80lbs on the bar and it was actually 85lbs. After the second set I was like WTF can't get past 5 reps, looked at the bar and was like oh.
    If this were easy, everyone would walk around ripped.

    I like eating, it helps with the not dying.

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  13. #1753
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Echo814 View Post
    Crossing fingers that you get the land! Building your own home would be exciting for sure, that's that plan for our next house if we can do it.

    Awesome job on getting the workouts in while you were traveling. I pulled the miscalculated weights the other week with bench, thought I had 80lbs on the bar and it was actually 85lbs. After the second set I was like WTF can't get past 5 reps, looked at the bar and was like oh.
    Thanks! Jay, and his brother both work construction, and each has their strengths (they have their own licensed business). They built his brother's current place. So most of that cost will be material, but first, well, septic, etc.
    A least with building, you can take things a step at a time, versus buying a house with a million problem that need to be fixed immediately just to meet codes.

    Travel workouts were pathetic most days, but it was enough to say active. Doing push ups killed me though, lol.
    I don't think you're really lifter unless you screwed up the weight math at least once.
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  14. #1754
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    Wow, that's exciting about the land for your first home! Have you mentioned this before? If so, I'm sorry as I've been chit at following journals lately. Awesome times ahead for you guys
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  15. #1755
    Powered by Reese's Puffs anandagirl's Avatar
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    Yay for land! Very exciting!!! xoxoxoxox
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    Originally Posted by phoenix4444 View Post
    I miscalculate my weights more than I like to admit to because math.

    Same here.


    And oooo land.
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    fluffier than avi phoenix4444's Avatar
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    So happy for you and Jay!
    *Trying to stay sane and get back to avi status.
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    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FallenAngel80 View Post
    Wow, that's exciting about the land for your first home! Have you mentioned this before? If so, I'm sorry as I've been chit at following journals lately. Awesome times ahead for you guys
    Originally Posted by anandagirl View Post
    Yay for land! Very exciting!!! xoxoxoxox
    Originally Posted by Fiction2Fitness View Post
    Same here.


    And oooo land.
    Originally Posted by phoenix4444 View Post
    So happy for you and Jay!
    Thank you all! We meet with the seller the first time tomorrow. If anything goes south, there's another property in our price range I'll be calling about today just as a back up option.

    And no Jo, you didn't miss anything, lol. I've mentioned calling about places before, but we hadn't even gotten as far as offers on those.

    Gonna try to get caught up on journals, this keyboard is being such a dick so I've put it off too long. >.<

    Someone explain a food thing to me, how can the same food vary in calories/macros so much across brands? I picked up a bag of Great Northern Beans, because the label said 110cals for 10g of protein, and I was like "well ****, soaking will be annoying, but yay for a good protein source!" Finally got around to trying them, and so I looked them up on fatsecret. Usually stuff like that I can just find a similar entry, but all of the listings said 90-110cals and 6-7g of protein.
    I mean, I could use canned beans and save the trouble if that were the case, but the nutrition label has to be pretty accurate, right? Could the other ones be canned, and that's why?
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    Team Ogre FallenAngel80's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LunaLifts View Post
    Thank you all! We meet with the seller the first time tomorrow. If anything goes south, there's another property in our price range I'll be calling about today just as a back up option.

    And no Jo, you didn't miss anything, lol. I've mentioned calling about places before, but we hadn't even gotten as far as offers on those.

    Gonna try to get caught up on journals, this keyboard is being such a dick so I've put it off too long. >.<

    Someone explain a food thing to me, how can the same food vary in calories/macros so much across brands? I picked up a bag of Great Northern Beans, because the label said 110cals for 10g of protein, and I was like "well ****, soaking will be annoying, but yay for a good protein source!" Finally got around to trying them, and so I looked them up on fatsecret. Usually stuff like that I can just find a similar entry, but all of the listings said 90-110cals and 6-7g of protein.
    I mean, I could use canned beans and save the trouble if that were the case, but the nutrition label has to be pretty accurate, right? Could the other ones be canned, and that's why?
    Excited for you guys

    As for the beans, yeah you'd think they would be pretty accurate. Is fatsecret like myfitnesspal? I find people put their own numbers of myfitnesspal and they can be way off!
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  20. #1760
    Hammy Hammy Hobbes thehobbes's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LunaLifts View Post
    Someone explain a food thing to me, how can the same food vary in calories/macros so much across brands? I picked up a bag of Great Northern Beans, because the label said 110cals for 10g of protein, and I was like "well ****, soaking will be annoying, but yay for a good protein source!" Finally got around to trying them, and so I looked them up on fatsecret. Usually stuff like that I can just find a similar entry, but all of the listings said 90-110cals and 6-7g of protein.
    I mean, I could use canned beans and save the trouble if that were the case, but the nutrition label has to be pretty accurate, right? Could the other ones be canned, and that's why?
    For something like beans it's probably because different companies have different serving sizes. Measure in grams and you'll be better off. I get canned green beans that claim there are 4 servings in there but when you weigh it out there's like 1 1/2 servings. I calculate macros per 100 grams of each food like that one time and write it down. Then I portion stuff out into 100g or 200g for easy math. It's very handy for fruit, veggies, and deli meat too.

    I did run into the same protein bars I've been getting for a year saying they're either 170cal or 190cal and the protein varies a bit depending on if they're selling the ones in the newer style box that week. That really pokes my penguin.
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  21. #1761
    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    @Luna, it definitely varies and frankly with whole foods it varies anyway even just like... one stalk of broc**** or cut of meat to another. I'd ballpark and not worry about +/-20 calories either way. I tend to make my calorie goal a range, anyway, to encompass the natural uncertainty.

    Let me add my congratulations on the homeownership step. That's crazy to me. Wow. Adulting.
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  22. #1762
    Da fuk is this. Echo814's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LunaLifts View Post
    Thanks! Jay, and his brother both work construction, and each has their strengths (they have their own licensed business). They built his brother's current place. So most of that cost will be material, but first, well, septic, etc.
    A least with building, you can take things a step at a time, versus buying a house with a million problem that need to be fixed immediately just to meet codes.

    Travel workouts were pathetic most days, but it was enough to say active. Doing push ups killed me though, lol.
    I don't think you're really lifter unless you screwed up the weight math at least once.
    That's awesome. Hubs is a plumber with a contracting license too. Makes it so much easier for home repairs ect.

    Push ups are always and issue with me, no matter how I adjust hand/shoulder placement they always hurt :/

    Nutrition labels an legally be up to 20% off if I remember correctly. I usually find the USDA entry and go with that, at least the food was actually tested for the numbers.
    If this were easy, everyone would walk around ripped.

    I like eating, it helps with the not dying.

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  23. #1763
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FallenAngel80 View Post
    Excited for you guys

    As for the beans, yeah you'd think they would be pretty accurate. Is fatsecret like myfitnesspal? I find people put their own numbers of myfitnesspal and they can be way off!
    FS has some generic entries that are accurate/usda based, but there have been a lot of brand-specific entries I've had to fix. Popcorn tends to have different serving sizes, and I had to fix one that used the calories from one, and the fat from the other. I was so confused like "how the fluff did I eat 110 cals of popcorn for 40g of fat!"

    If stuff isn't there just find whatever's closest sometimes, or add it myself from the package I have. These just weren't that close.
    Originally Posted by thehobbes View Post
    For something like beans it's probably because different companies have different serving sizes. Measure in grams and you'll be better off. I get canned green beans that claim there are 4 servings in there but when you weigh it out there's like 1 1/2 servings. I calculate macros per 100 grams of each food like that one time and write it down. Then I portion stuff out into 100g or 200g for easy math. It's very handy for fruit, veggies, and deli meat too.

    I did run into the same protein bars I've been getting for a year saying they're either 170cal or 190cal and the protein varies a bit depending on if they're selling the ones in the newer style box that week. That really pokes my penguin.
    Yeah, I always weigh since volume sucks. I hear you on the "servings per container" chit, omg. Or it'll say "about" 2.5 servings, and it's waaay off.

    Omg, I forgot "pokes my penguin" was a thing you said. I love that!
    Originally Posted by shesprints View Post
    @Luna, it definitely varies and frankly with whole foods it varies anyway even just like... one stalk of broc**** or cut of meat to another. I'd ballpark and not worry about +/-20 calories either way. I tend to make my calorie goal a range, anyway, to encompass the natural uncertainty.

    Let me add my congratulations on the homeownership step. That's crazy to me. Wow. Adulting.
    Yeah, I was more just wanting to get the protein right. Calories aren't always 100% accurate, and like you said, there's a range. Just griping, because I had to add it myself, and I'm lazy.

    Ad thank you!
    Originally Posted by Echo814 View Post
    That's awesome. Hubs is a plumber with a contracting license too. Makes it so much easier for home repairs ect.

    Push ups are always and issue with me, no matter how I adjust hand/shoulder placement they always hurt :/

    Nutrition labels an legally be up to 20% off if I remember correctly. I usually find the USDA entry and go with that, at least the food was actually tested for the numbers.
    I just do wide push ups, since I feel it in my chest more, and it's the only real chest exercise I do/can do. My strict push ups suck so much harder.


    ------
    Ok, trying to keep replies short, because his keyboard is aggravating. Two minutes to type a post, ten to edit all the keyboard errors. Sorry for any typos.

    It's unfortunate, because I do have a lot I wanted to say about recent chit, but ffs I'm going to break this thing. In short, the meeting with the seller went well, and paperwork is getting processed. We're all 100%, we paid a deposit, we signed the sales contract, she removed the listing, we've been researching some of the stuff we'll need to know when it's all official, and done.

    I do want to get back to tracking workouts on here soon, and being active. I've been struggling with some chit for awhile that I'd like to explain, but again, this globdamn keyboard. I'll be getting on track soon, I'm off this week (less of a deload, more of a mental break, and explain the rest whenever I have the laptop instead of this garbage.

    And omg some of the female BB topics are cringe-y as fluff. I can't even do advice now, but some of those topics I wouldn't have touched anyway. lol.

    Hope you guys are will, sorry I'm so behind in everyone's journals.
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  24. #1764
    fluffier than avi phoenix4444's Avatar
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    No worries about being behind in mine there girl.

    You will be back soon enough. I can feel it
    *Trying to stay sane and get back to avi status.
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  25. #1765
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Lower - Home

    Squats
    47lbs x 15
    57lbs x 12
    62lbs x 10
    67lbs x 9

    RDLs
    62lbs x 15
    67lbs x 15
    72lbs x 12
    77lbs x 10

    Lunges
    27lbs x 15
    37lbs x 10
    37lbs x 10
    37lbs x 8

    Core:
    50 Reps

    Pre: Band warm ups, and walking knee pulls
    Post: Stretching (forgot to roll, what else is new? lol)

    Ok, so I'm going to suffer through this keyboard to explain some things, though I'm sure those numbers indicate that something went off the rails somewhere. Everything did. I think most of you are aware of certain issues I had pre-bodybuilding, and while I've had struggles with that during times I got depressed things sort of got out of hand. I was sliding a bit before I distanced myself from here, but the past month, month and a half, was pretty bad. My intake dropped, and at the worst I struggled to hit four digits most days. Naturally my workouts dwindled until last week when I didn't have it in me to do anything. I stopped frequenting sites like this, or anything about veganism that had food/recipes, because it made me want so badly to get myself together. I wanted to care about my health/food/fitness/strength again, but also didn't.

    It wasn't about weight, or fat, or fear of calories. I know better than that. I just got overwhelmed, and used that starving, lightheaded, "foggy" feeling to distract from everything else. I have a hard time talking about things, to anyone. I just let everything pile up until it started eating me alive. I actually wished I could do it without losing, because I know losing too much would mean I'd have to stop (so I wouldn't raise suspicion, not because of my health). I knew all of this was a problem, but I didn't care. I hit 130, and while it's in my healthy range, the issue was I already thinking about how to hide further weight loss, that and I didn't get there healthily in the first place. At the same time I know I couldn't carry on lifting, and an argument turned discussion with Jay made me realize exactly how much it was upsetting him. So I decided I'd start increasing my calories, immediately, and get back to the things that made me motivated to take care of myself again.

    There is a huge silver lining in all of this. First, Jay does understand some of what's going on. I couldn't unload everything, but I'm trying. I now realize that I don't like to talk, because I'm afraid that other people see me better than I see me, and if they hear what I think, they'll like me less. He also knows that if it ever happens again, it means something bigger is wrong and ask. I hope it doesn't, but I didn't think this would ever happen either. Second, I decided to work on other aspects of my mental health, somehow figure out ways to change how I think about myself, manage/lessen my anxiety, etc. I see my psych next week, so I'm going to ask for advice on that too. As much as I say people should love, and care about themselves, I don't think I ever thought I deserved to. It's always "well I suck right now, but I'm working on it," and that's not really helping me get anywhere.

    So, yeah, that took 47 fluffin' minutes to type, and edit. >.< But that's what's been up, I'm getting on track again, and already feeling much more positive. I didn't want to mention any of it because I was embarrassed, but if it were someone else I'd tell them it's ok, stuff happens, so why wouldn't I apply that kindness, and understanding to myself?

    Also I'm already sore, omg I'm going to be dead tomorrow.

    Originally Posted by phoenix4444 View Post
    No worries about being behind in mine there girl.

    You will be back soon enough. I can feel it
    Thanks, and you were right.
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    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    Oh, lady, I do understand where you are coming from. I've used starvation as a drug or a way to "check out" in the past for sure. I'm glad you're getting yourself together... I hope veganism hasn't becoming something unhealthy for you, too. I know that you say it's positive and motivates you to care for your health, but for me, at least, restricting food groups is usually a bad sign, ED-wise. However, I respect you enough to accept what you say--I just also care about you, and want you to be healthy both physically and mentally.

    Lifting is always going to be secondary to caring for the bigger picture of your life. Whatever you are struggling with or trying to avoid, I hope you have enough people to talk to about it. Talking is important--I'm also humbled that you felt like you could confide in us here on this site. If you ever want to HMU my PM box is open.

    Feel better. Stay strong!
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  27. #1767
    Jerk of All Trades LunaLifts's Avatar
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    Yeah, I knew there as a good chance I'd come up, given the timing. I promise it's not an issue though, restricting whole food groups has ever been a thing for me ED-wise. It's been one of the things that's helping with adjusting back to normal intake, I just feel good about what I eat, and even before I decided I'd start doing it I missed eating a buttload of vegan food. Lol. I do understand the concern, and appreciate it.

    And yeah, most of the close friends I feel comfortable talking too are online, but I tend to assume they're too busy/my issues aren't important/etc. I need to work on that sort of thinking. I do plan on at least starting with telling Jay more, starting with that glaring reason why I feel so uncomfortable talking about certain things.

    Thank you so much, and I will!
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  28. #1768
    Hammy Hammy Hobbes thehobbes's Avatar
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    thehobbes is offline
    Hey Luna, sorry to hear you're having a rough patch. I truly hope you have some really good and positive days in the near future, because you DO deserve to have those good and positive days. And please don't base all your self worth on what other people think of you (or what you think they think of you), srs. A lot of that is due to their own chit. Everybody's got a struggle somewhere. Strive to do the best you can and you'll be alright.
    Current PRs:
    Bench Press: 200x1
    Deads: 315x1
    Back Squats: 275x1

    *Team Amazon* - Sisterhood of Iron
    *Log - There's a Ham in the Power Rack, Part II http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=167311531
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  29. #1769
    Team Ogre FallenAngel80's Avatar
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    Hey Luna, I'm sorry you've been struggling. You're right - no one is going to think any less of you for finding things tough and talking about them. We all have our struggles. I totally get it though, I find it difficult to talk to others and show myself compassion that I show to other people.

    I have to be mindful of my relationship with food, and I think that'll always be the case. Food, for me anyway, is an emotional thing so I have to be careful about getting overwhelmed and just 'not bothering' or going to opposite way and eating all the food to deal with my feelings.

    I'm glad you were able to talk it through with Jay and that you feel you're getting back on track
    - Fallen Angel -

    Journal http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169571783

    Training PRs: 170/104/260
    Meet PRs: 149/93/220

    Goals: 200/132/300
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  30. #1770
    fluffier than avi phoenix4444's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for what you have been through. Much respect for posting your troubles. It's tough to discuss such issues as the pain involved is sometimes to much to bear. But eventually some light is shed and a new beginning can start.
    *Trying to stay sane and get back to avi status.
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