Something Something Dangerzone

[gobbles23]

Awesome lifting!!!

It's hard having someone be pushy about something you don't want to do. My mom has two grandkids now because my siblings are older than me so she's not having baby fever thank goodness! I won't be ready to have kids for a good while yet.

[LunaLifts]

Awesome lifting!!!

It's hard having someone be pushy about something you don't want to do. My mom has two grandkids now because my siblings are older than me so she's not having baby fever thank goodness! I won't be ready to have kids for a good while yet.

Thanks, kinda enjoying the longer workouts, but that's because I'm not attached the computer so much. Amazing what you get done with less distractions. >.<

Yeah, she first brought it up awhile back, and I explained it wouldn't be happening soon. I still needed my license, needed a job, Jay and I don't have our own place yet, like how the fluff does she think that a baby would be a smart decision? Babies don't usually help improve your financial situation, lol. Even so, I may never feel like having one. I don't have that "wanna be a mother" feeling, the thought of pregnancy and labor is unpleasant, the thought of dealing with other parents, schools, appointments, diapers, and everyone thinking they need to comment on your parenting choices is pretty far from appealing. It's like any other situation where your parents tell you what to do, you want to do the opposite just to piss them off. Her face dropped when I said I got an IUD (she also believed they caused infertility and can't be given to women haven't had kids *eyeroll*), but misconceptions aside she knows it's long term, and bitch I didn't go through getting this in just to have a kid months later.

My dad has grandkids he won't see, it's complicated, but he's never expected me to have them just because he won't be able to see his others. My mom wants me to have one, just because her friends have grandkids, and she feels left out, but you don't have kids with the expectation that they'll have kids.

[gobbles23]

Yeah I get that for sure. I don't know if I'll ever be financially sound enough to have kids comfortably lol, and even if I am, the thought doesn't appeal to me either. Maybe in a few years I'll change my mind haha, but I don't really want them as of now. If someone was pressuring me right now I would rotted lol

[shesprints]

I'm sorry abut your mom pressuring you. That can be awkward. I think in my family my parents have given up on me (my dad occasionally mentions it just from the perspective of "I loved having you guys and think kids would make you happy" but that's pretty benign). All the pressure's on my brother in my family because he's said he wants 'em. I dunno, though, I think as a woman it's hard to avoid thinking about this stuff since we do have a biological clock.

You know I'm always in favor of full body. Pendlay rows! I haven't been seeing those around as much lately, they are great.

[anandagirl]

Sometimes I want to smack your mom.

[FallenAngel80]

You mum wanting grandkids sounds similar to the reason that some women have kids - to not feel left out. It's annoying that she doesn't get that it's actually your's and Jay's decision and won't be something you do to please her.

I guess she's not going to stop this any time soon, so if you can, just try and brush it off. Or even just ignore it when she sends you pictures of clothing/videos etc. She may end up just getting bored and not bother.

*Therapist mode deactivated*

[LunaLifts]

Yeah I get that for sure. I don't know if I'll ever be financially sound enough to have kids comfortably lol, and even if I am, the thought doesn't appeal to me either. Maybe in a few years I'll change my mind haha, but I don't really want them as of now. If someone was pressuring me right now I would rotted lol

Jay and I have talked about this too, we may never be in the place were we feel financially secure with having kids. I wouldn't want to "just get by" and I'd like to know we could save up to help them with college, and chit too. Plus, we don't travel a ton, but do like to and that becomes a whole different ball game with a kid.

I want to worry about now, and as of now, I'm in no position to care for another living being. I think what pisses me off is that she knows I'm not. I said that to her, and she acted like it wasn't actually a big deal. Like I could just apply for welfare, and "manage" (not that I have a problem with welfare, and people using it, I have a problem with actively choosing to struggle to support a kid).

I'm sorry abut your mom pressuring you. That can be awkward. I think in my family my parents have given up on me (my dad occasionally mentions it just from the perspective of "I loved having you guys and think kids would make you happy" but that's pretty benign). All the pressure's on my brother in my family because he's said he wants 'em. I dunno, though, I think as a woman it's hard to avoid thinking about this stuff since we do have a biological clock.

You know I'm always in favor of full body. Pendlay rows! I haven't been seeing those around as much lately, they are great.

It is awkward. At first it was awkward, because I had to explain why it's not going to happen any time soon. Now it's awkward because I know she knows, but she's doing it anyway. Gonna ghost her ass soon enough, lol. It's not even that she cares if it'd make me happy, it's all about what she wants. I follow some child free humor stuff on FB and pinterest, and I've seen all the rants from the crap people hear, and she doesn't say most of that. "You'll be so happy" "you won't feel fulfilled without one" (which, btw, wtf is with that statement?) "you're going to wish you had one later" that's all selfish too, but at least they pretend they care about the other person's feelings. My mom's just like "ploop out a kid for me, k thanks.">.<

And yes, I love Pendlay rows. I get to haul up some bitching weights, and it makes me feel like I've got serious back strength.

Sometimes I want to smack your mom.

Me too!

You mum wanting grandkids sounds similar to the reason that some women have kids - to not feel left out. It's annoying that she doesn't get that it's actually your's and Jay's decision and won't be something you do to please her.

I guess she's not going to stop this any time soon, so if you can, just try and brush it off. Or even just ignore it when she sends you pictures of clothing/videos etc. She may end up just getting bored and not bother.

*Therapist mode deactivated*

I'm her only daughter, and her oldest kid. It's a horrible position to be in, lol. I get that she had ideas in her head about how having a daughter would be. Same as most parents I guess, but you can't guarantee any of that. I mean, she really has no business telling anyone else to have kids when she had hers too young, and made it their problem in the following years. >.>

You're right that she won't stop, I really thinks she's enjoying being a jackass about it. I'll probably still complain from time to time depending on the severity of her "hints" (like implying the inevitable birth, and gender of a kid I don't have), and I'm sure she'll keep doing it. At least until I decide I want one for my own reasons, or hit menopause. :P

Maybe I should have some fun with it. Like telling her I'm waiting until I can afford adoption, no pregnancy issues, no labor, environmentally friendly, lol. "I don't want to ever act like you do toward your biological kid, so maybe adoption will ensure I don't turn into a turd when he or she is old enough to procreate." (Sure it implies adoption means loving a child differently, but the point is the trolling.)

[LunaLifts]

Lower - Squats - Home

So Many Squats
77lbs x 8
77lbs x 6
87lbs x 3
87lbs x 3
77lbs x 6
67lbs x 10
67lbs x 10
67lbs x 8
57lbs x 10
57lbs x 10

Lunges
47lbs x 10
47lbs x 10

Core:
80 Reps

+Stretching

I don't want to do deads, or RDLs today, because my shoulder was bitchy last week, and I may have slept on it last night. >.> So I did a chit ton of squats, and I planned on two more sets of lunges, but my knee was acting funny. Which is hopefully a fluke thing, because I don't need anymore globdamn, reoccurring issues.

That said, today was a different sort of "meh." I got pretty into it, my cues were good, I was staying tight, but my legs just felt tired. Like they didn't want to cooperate at all. Maybe it was because of sorta skipping my third leg day that week, so my last workout was Wed, maybe it was the lack of strength work last week, maybe it's PMS-y issues, or all three. It's done though. Wed I'll probably do hip bridges, and more squats (not 10 sets though), and then see how my shoulder feels Friday for deads. Depending on where I'm working out, and blah blah blah.

I'm still not tracking my food. I got on track for like, a day. I've been thinking though that I may just keep going with it for now. Just to see how it goes. I have a general knowledge of how much I eat, and I eat a lot of the same chit anyway. After my next weigh in, which actually should be soon I just need to remember in the morning, I'll see where I'm at, and decide from there. It gives me an experiment to try, so that's fun. I'm still getting in plenty of protein throughout the day so I'm not worried about that.

We'll see. Even if the scale says that I really need to go back to tracking I can enjoy trying to wing it for a bit.

[shesprints]

I say if you can get away with not tracking, don't track! I wish I were brave enough to do that, and I think it's the more realistic and sustainable long-term approach.

That is a LOT of squats. An assload, one might say.

[LunaLifts]

I say if you can get away with not tracking, don't track! I wish I were brave enough to do that, and I think it's the more realistic and sustainable long-term approach.

We'll see, as long as I'm going up, but not too fast, I'll keep at it for the time being. When I hit my aesthetic goals, and move into maintaining, I think my eating habits, and general knowledge of what I need will allow me to not track. Maybe if I get too far from my maintenance weight just until I'm where I want to be again, but hopefully I can manage to not need it every day.

Though I want to, when I'm able, move towards more plant based eating too. Not vegetarian or vegan, just less processed meals, less meat consumption, more protein sources from other things. Just so I'm getting a lot more nutrients from food, plenty of fiber, learning other protein sources, etc. Another experiment, basically. I wouldn't go veggies entirely of course, I like fish, chicken, and eggs too much.

That is a LOT of squats. An assload, one might say.

Lol. Absolutely! If I told myself when I started that I'd do ten sets in a day, I would have said "yeah whatever, fluff off."

[FallenAngel80]

Gawd-dayum! There is a squat-a-thon going on in here!

[LunaLifts]

Gawd-dayum! There is a squat-a-thon going on in here!

Yaaas.


---- Ramble about bulk/cut thoughts:
So I've been figuring out... not so much what I want to do, but the timeline. I weighed in this morning at 145.8, up 1lb since Oct 20th. So that's pretty on point, but I know some days where higher, and a couple were low, but most were consistent. I'll see what it is at the end of this month.

As you know I want to cut down enough to really stick to a long, slow, bulk (ideally Jun through Jan). I wanted to do it this time, but my cut got fluffed up. <.< The goal would be, again, to actually reach 135 when I start, but giving myself more time than I usually do for the last few stubborn lbs. Maybe have time for a maintenance break in the middle too if I feel I need it. Plus adequate time to lower calories slowly, and build them up again after the cut.

As you may also know, I jumped into this bulk, knowing it'd be short, knowing I didn't want to cut over the holidays, but decided it'd be a good learning experience to see if I can slow my roll a bit, with my usual rate of gain (apparently it's worked, so far it's 5.8lbs in just under three months, some of it intuitive). I've come to the conclusion I don't want to have a 15lb cut goal again (unless it's because I bulked for a year, lol), so I don't want to drag to 150lbs, and leave myself with a few months to drop cals, drop 15lbs, and build up again. I stress myself out when I rush weight loss like that.

So, I may end this sooner than I thought, definitely finishing out this month (mmmm, Thanksgiving). I'd rather not get to 148, so I can keep it to a 12lb cut. Which would give me plenty of time to do it smart, and do it right before June. I'll still be at my more comfortable weight range through summer, and if it's more time than I needed, I just start sooner, and maybe fit an extra bit of time in there.

I tend to miss my cut goal, bulk anyway, cut that short, and so on. I really want to do it right, and an extra 5lbs or so may not seem big, but if that's 2 months more bulk time it's worth it. Especially considering if I start with my clothes fitting lose, that gives me some extra room to grow too.


So I do feel a little, stupid, because I know short bulks aren't ideal. I'm ok with what I've managed though, and it's a lifetime thing. I don't see it as a setback, even if I make chit for gains from it. I don't want to drag it out (again), rush a bigger cut (again), fall short of my goal (again), and end up with a five month bulk (again). We'll see how this goes, and in the meantime I get to have all the ham, and turkey, and pie this month!

[Fiction2Fitness]

Interesting talk on the bulks/cuts. I've not tried bulking but I know how it goes when the cut doesn't quite go as needed. Does make sense what you are saying though. Do a little tweak, bit of an experiment that might not be the usual but maybe it will help break the current cycle that isn't working out either. Plus, mmm food!

This year, I have no plans for turkey or pie or anything for Thanksgiving so I'm actually okay with being on a cut for the time being but usually, agree that this would be a rough time to be cutting back on the calories. It's definitely made to be bulk season.

Oh and... nice squats. ;-)

[LunaLifts]

Interesting talk on the bulks/cuts. I've not tried bulking but I know how it goes when the cut doesn't quite go as needed. Does make sense what you are saying though. Do a little tweak, bit of an experiment that might not be the usual but maybe it will help break the current cycle that isn't working out either. Plus, mmm food!

Yeah I definitely feel like continuing the way I wanted to would have resulted in the same thing. It just take longer to get better results that way, so I'd rather sacrifice a little bulk time to break that up. I realize I'd rather take a month off an already short bulk, to add a few months onto one later. Just going to enjoy the rest of my tracking break though, and enjoy the T-day food.

This year, I have no plans for turkey or pie or anything for Thanksgiving so I'm actually okay with being on a cut for the time being but usually, agree that this would be a rough time to be cutting back on the calories. It's definitely made to be bulk season.

Oh and... nice squats. ;-)

My mom's the one who does T-day food stuff, so even if I was ok cutting a bulk mid-month,I wouldn't knowing that was coming up. Though even if I was cutting,it's be worth it. The one time a year I get to stuff my face hole on good ham.

And thanks! :3

[thehobbes]

So I do feel a little, stupid, because I know short bulks aren't ideal. I'm ok with what I've managed though, and it's a lifetime thing. I don't see it as a setback, even if I make chit for gains from it. I don't want to drag it out (again), rush a bigger cut (again), fall short of my goal (again), and end up with a five month bulk (again). We'll see how this goes, and in the meantime I get to have all the ham, and turkey, and pie this month!

Meh no need to feel stupid. You gotta be in a good place mentally with whatever you're doing or it's not going to go well anyways. Aw yeah all the holiday foods! Every holiday family get together "here let me send you home with a dozen deviled eggs and three plates of cookies!" Let the bulk happen, there's no fighting it.

[Fiction2Fitness]

Yeah I definitely feel like continuing the way I wanted to would have resulted in the same thing. It just take longer to get better results that way, so I'd rather sacrifice a little bulk time to break that up. I realize I'd rather take a month off an already short bulk, to add a few months onto one later. Just going to enjoy the rest of my tracking break though, and enjoy the T-day food.

My mom's the one who does T-day food stuff, so even if I was ok cutting a bulk mid-month,I wouldn't knowing that was coming up. Though even if I was cutting,it's be worth it. The one time a year I get to stuff my face hole on good ham.

And thanks! :3

Very hard to miss out on that kind of food. #envy If my mom was in the same state, it'd probably be a different story or if I had better space to make pecan pies (cause those are delicious but very high calorie). Enjoy the delicious food!

[gobbles23]

When it comes to bulking and cutting, no bulk is wasted! Do what makes you happy! Cut if you want, then bulk again down the road. No biggie

[LunaLifts]

Meh no need to feel stupid. You gotta be in a good place mentally with whatever you're doing or it's not going to go well anyways. Aw yeah all the holiday foods! Every holiday family get together "here let me send you home with a dozen deviled eggs and three plates of cookies!" Let the bulk happen, there's no fighting it.

Yeah, it just feels like I "know better" so I should just shove forward, but so far just doing something because it's that time of year, or whatever isn't working. Well, last cut started at the end of Nov,and that could have worked, but that massive gain I had no real excuse for fluffed me up.
So yeah, going to enjoy T-day yums, and maybe obviously some other crap, lol. Then it's back to business, hopefully I can keep the cut reasonably short, and turn around into a nice long period of gains.

Very hard to miss out on that kind of food. #envy If my mom was in the same state, it'd probably be a different story or if I had better space to make pecan pies (cause those are delicious but very high calorie). Enjoy the delicious food!

I will! It's one day, so I gotta enjoy it. Dec holidays usually mean food, but they aren't as bad. I can keep my cool with turkey, veggies, and some potatoes.

Oh, on the potential downside. This dinner would be at my mother's. I'm going to tell Jay ahead of time, that if I say we have to go, we go. No questions asked. I hate that I have to prepare for a potential fight with her, but either she'll keep her mouth shut, and we'll have a great time, or she won't. If she doesn't my choices are to sit there awkwardly not standing up for what I want for my life and just end up pissed, and miserable, or more likely I get angry, and say everything in my head which would make her cry, and ruin things for everyone, or I just leave and make my point that way. I can't fight her on Thanksgiving, any other day, any other holiday, but she has T-day dinner on the weekend because her mom passed on Thanksgiving day. As much as she deserves to hear every bit of my opinion, it'd be a chit time.

When it comes to bulking and cutting, no bulk is wasted! Do what makes you happy! Cut if you want, then bulk again down the road. No biggie

Globdammit when I take so long to reply someone else replies, lol. Thanks, definitely not a waste. I did manage to not go overboard with the surplus this time, so I've learned something from it. Plus I got to take a long break from cutting, and a decent break from tracking.

[LunaLifts]

Lower - Glutes - Home

Hip Bridges
147lbs x 30sec
147lbs x 30sec
147lbs x 20sec
147lbs x 20sec
147lbs x 30sec
147lbs x 25sec
147lbs x 20sec
147lbs x 20sec

Donkey Kicks
8.3lbs x 15
8.3lbs x 15
8.3lbs x 15

Superset With:

Glute Kickbacks
8.3lbs x 15
8.3lbs x 15
8.3lbs x 15

Core:
45sec
50 Reps

+Stretching, scapula push ups

Wrote down Y/T/Ls, still forgot. >.<

Decided to beat up my glutes, since I'm still waiting for Friday before giving any deadlifting a go. Those bridges are so burny. You can tell my set up is slightly different sometimes, because I'm suddenly able to hold longer, then another set will drop again. Lol. They all hurt, that's what counts.

Added some nonsense to the end, I'm missing a sand bag out of the leg weights I have, so it's 8.3 repeating. Just something to burn out with at the end. The only rest was to write the numbers don, so basically just did them back to back.

I was so fluffin sore today, I was sore yesterday, but today was brutal. I should do obnoxious amounts of squats more often, lol. Feel a bit better after the workout though, I don't know how it works, but it works (something to do with breaking up the lactic acid build up I'd guess). Hoping I can manage to sit tomorrow after today's glute fest though.

[LunaLifts]

Lower - Home

RDLs
77lbs x 12
77lbs x 12
77lbs x 12
87lbs x 10
87lbs x 10
87lbs x 10
97lbs x 8
97lbs x 8

Front Squats
37lbs x 4
-_-

Core:
70 Reps

+Y/T/W/Ls and Stretching

I remembered! Although I didn't do many because holding a bent position was difficult. I figured I'd do a bunch of RDLs and FS because I'm actually enjoying high volumes of fewer exercises. I thought it'd be boring, but I'm doing more of what I like, and it's less dicking around between exercises.

Unfortunately today, while my back managed the RDL volume, it didn't want to squat. I started with a low weight to make sure my shoulder would be fine, and tried to push through a few to see if it just needed to work itself out/stretch a bit. Nope, wasn't happening. Doctors appt is Tues, so I'll see what she thinks. Though I'm wondering if it's getting worse the longer I wear flat shoes (doubt it's the whole problem, but could be contributing). I know a lack of arch support can cause back issues, and I don't have any shoes with even decent support. I wear them all day, not just training, and I've been meaning to get a new pair for that reason, but... like, I also want more books. T_T

Speaking of, BJs (the wholesale store, you pervs) can be pretty awesome for interesting books. Well, interesting editions. They had these cute editions of classic novels, including the cutest lavender covered Jane Eyre (which I couldn't get at the time because broke T_T). I looked again last time to see if any were left to find out the publisher so I could maybe find it online, all gone. They had the sickest fluffin edition of the Grimm's tales though. Also couldn't afford. Hardcover, old-fancy-style (I can't think of another way to describe it, think brand new version of a century old book), black and red with a forest design, gold lettering, and gold on the edges of the pages. Super gorgeous. They had a similar Poe collection, but not as eye catching. If I had thirty bucks on me, I probably couldn't have stopped myself from buying both.

Can't find them online either, books like that have so many versions it's hard to find a single one.

[shesprints]

Ooh, scapula pushups and Y/T/W raises! Those should really help your shoulders out.

[LunaLifts]

Ooh, scapula pushups and Y/T/W raises! Those should really help your shoulders out.

I'm trying. Also working on my posture, because it's better than it used to be, but still pretty chit. Should help my shoulder, and back.

Speaking of my back, it's still kinda chit today. Could it be just that my chit posture causes me to have a weaker lower back, and certain exercises may be fine for the rest of me, but overwork that area? It's not like a sharp pain, it doesn't feel like my spine hurts. I don't think it's a sciatic nerve issue, because I did have that one time (first time I had back issues) and it made part of my leg numb. This doesn't go into my glutes/leg at all. I also want to assume it's a posture issue, because it'll start to get hurty after standing/walking for awhile. Like, leisurely walking.

I'm trying to figure it out the best I can, because I do have a doctors appt tomorrow.... but this is the same doctor that told me it's natural for one knee to go over my toes on stuff like lunges, while the other turns inward a lot. I don't think that's right.

Going to try to do... something today. Lol. I think my shoulder is good to go, and everything I read says not to be inactive with a back issue because it can get worse (probably why it's worse today after resting yesterday). Not going heavy, and going to be careful with exercise selection (testing with BW first). Then all the stretching, may try the LAX ball on the area too.

[LunaLifts]

I'm not even going to make a fancy format for it. I did lunges, a few BW to test the movement, then some with 20lbs, some with 40lbs. Felt so. Side squats with BW are ok, but not so much with weight so I didn't push it. Some core, followed by YWTLs, and some thorough stretching.

Currently fighting every instinct that wants me to sit with horrible posture. I'm correcting myself every few minutes, I swear to glob this is the biggest pain in the d*ck to fix.
I thought breaking my nail biting habit was/is hard, but at least that's just an aesthetic issue... well, I suppose it's not healthy either, but I can still function.

[LunaLifts]

Ok, so, I did a safe workout Wednesday. Squats, rows, and ohp. I think I should be good to get back to my normal workouts next week.

Jay dropped me off thinking he had work, but ended up not, so he waited here for me to do my workout. Which gave me the opportunity to actually have someone look at my deads in person, because I can see I don't look right from what I can see in my mirror when I'm locked out. First rep made me lightheaded, but my BP isn't low anymore, and it's only the first rep. I didn't count it as "doing deadlifts" since I was just doing a few light singles. Anyway, he was like "wow, you're twisting so bad." Apparently I'm leaning into my left side, and it's causing a twist in my hips at the top. I think it makes sense, because my doctor tried to stretch out my hammies to see if there was any tightness that could be contributing to my back issues, and my left hamstring was pretty tight compared to my right. May also be why locking out at my knees has been harder.

He said my RDLs look alright though, not bending my lumbar area, just gotta remember that "tits up" cue to stay tight in my core.

So I'm going to work on taking extra care to stretch out my left hamstring, and see if my deadlifts straighten out. If I can fix that, and my posture, hopefully I'll see improvement in my lower back.

[shesprints]

LOL @ tits up, what a great cue that I shall have to remember. I think you may want to keep doing some unilateral work anyway--I'm finding it helps me a lot. So does doing a GOOD core warmup like bird dogs before a workout plus some practice with belly breathing to unlock the deep stomach muscles.

For back pain, I also like dead hangs from the pullup bar to stretch things all out.

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Hope your back feels better.

[LunaLifts]

LOL @ tits up, what a great cue that I shall have to remember. I think you may want to keep doing some unilateral work anyway--I'm finding it helps me a lot. So does doing a GOOD core warmup like bird dogs before a workout plus some practice with belly breathing to unlock the deep stomach muscles.

For back pain, I also like dead hangs from the pullup bar to stretch things all out.

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Hope your back feels better.

I stole the cue from someone's log, I want to say it was Fiction's.

I typically do some unilateral work, at least I try to for most muscle groups. If I had heavy enough DBs I'd do DB rows weekly too. I tend to get some core warm up when going my glute activation work, but for the most part it's been a matter of remembering consistently to brace properly. I was doing it wrong fora long time, and got it down for deads, and squats, but really need to stay tight on upper work.

I don't have anything I can dead hang from, other wise I would, because that sounds great.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too, and to everyone who regularly pops in here You guys are so supportive, and great!

[Fiction2Fitness]

Good you were able to have him watch and figure out what was off about the lift. That is a good cue too. Wish I could claim it but alas, came from someone much funnier than my journal, mostly cause I don't really even use much in the way of cues myself. I do remember seeing that cue before but can't quite place whose journal it was in, or who said it in the given journal.

[Echo814]

Tits up was me!!! Well, I got it from Lyle McDonald, but it was me

[LunaLifts]

Good you were able to have him watch and figure out what was off about the lift. That is a good cue too. Wish I could claim it but alas, came from someone much funnier than my journal, mostly cause I don't really even use much in the way of cues myself. I do remember seeing that cue before but can't quite place whose journal it was in, or who said it in the given journal.

I'd have him do it more often, but he's got a curl bar that can be used for RDLs, and squatting, and stuff, but it's not the same. Need him to see how I do with a straight bar since I can't do sumo on his, or low bar squats (kinda, kinda not, because it's curving enough to be high and low lol).

Typically when I work out here, it's because he's at work. On days where he drops me off before finding out he doesn't have work I should have him check once in awhile to see if it's getting better. Aside from getting that hammy loosened up, I don't know a cue to fix that leaning though. I'll figure it out somehow.
Maybe warm up with lower deadlifts too, and just use the 45s under the plates to give me the extra height.

This lightheaded bs is vexing too (so much so that "vexing" was the only word that accurately describes my feelings lol). Just the first set, BP was 117/76 last time I got it checked, so that's pretty perfect. 117lbs is like, volume weight for me, it's not even my heavy DL weight. :/

Tits up was me!!! Well, I got it from Lyle McDonald, but it was me

A-ha! Sorry I miscredited it. But yeah, that cue has been helping with my rows too, so thanks for sharing it.

[LunaLifts]

Well, Thanksgiving at my mom's actually went well. No bingoing. Got to see some family who came up from VA, a lot of food, and ham, super bloats.
My mom gave me some cash for late birthday early Yule/Christmas. Went to the bookstore right after we left, lol. Borrowed a book from my cousin called "The Prophet." Borrowed "To Kill a Mockingbird from my mom." Bought "And I Darken" and "Cinder" from the bookstore. They tried to hard to find the one copy of "A Picture of Dorian Gray" their computer said they had, with no luck. So I'm ordering that off amazon later, and maybe "Candide" if I can squeeze it into how much I'm willing to spend on amazon, because I want to have some saved in case BJs surprises me with something interesting, or if I absolutely need to get the sequels to either of the books I already bought right after I get to reading those.