Bummed out about all the people on here that have issues

[anandagirl]

It makes me sad to see people on here that are still dieting, saying they are fat, etc. when what they need to do is eat and build muscle. Lots of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, etc. and both men and women. And no matter what we say, most of them will never take the advice and see out help. Its a huge bummer.

[DNABabe]

I've noticed that trend as well. I do find it sad, and I hope the OPs in question seek out help in RL, as I agree, not likely to take suggestions from this forum seriously. It is really hard to overcome eating disorders, and I have personal experience with this as an ex gymnast. Only intense counselling and therapy, and learning what it meant to work out with healthy goals in mind, helped me overcome my fear of increased caloric intake. I'm not "cured", the tendencies will always be there, but over time they lessen and one learns to focus on positive thoughts RE one's body. Having kids was a huge game changer for me. I don't weigh myself in front of my kids or EVER comment about how I'm feeling re: body image. No way in heck I'm going to project these uncertainties on them.

[EPolis13]

Most of these people truly need therapy, yet, sadly, they will never go.

IMO, physique comps breed these types of EDs and body dysmorphia, and most ppl truly shouldn't ever compete. It takes a very special type of person to do it and not get f**ked up by it, physically or mentally. Some can do it, but it's a very small percentage who can come away and not be somehow negatively impacted by their experience. I'm including myself in this opinion. I competed 4 times and it forever made me view food differently. No matter how many years it's been, I will always have some sort of awareness of what I'm eating and have a smidge of guilt from time to time. Most times I don't care, but there have been a couple times that I've really felt guilty for over-indulging. I went to therapy after I stopped competing. The struggle was real.

I am very open and honest about the dangers of competing, and if anyone has ANY sort of history of food issues I would tell them to never, ever, ever compete. But most people think that "they'll show me!" and do it anyway, only to end up f**ked up. It's a sad situation.

[itsagoodday]

Eating disorders and body image issues truly do make me sad. These aren't things that people are born with, they are created by the society we live in. In a world full of plastic surgery and photoshop, some of the things we are being told are "ideal" aren't even attainable in real life to the average human being. I do not have a perfect relationship with food, and I don't love every part of my body, but I don't have issues in those areas that control my life or feelings of self worth, and for that I feel very fortunate.

[megdaig]

I think a lot are seeking validation that what they are doing is ok. That the people IRL that express their concerns don't understand their "passion for fitness".

[anandagirl]

I agree with everything said above. Women are especially susceptible and the newer "bikini" class has expanded the competition popularity from where it had been previously with figure being the "softest" class.

[DNABabe]

I agree with everything said above. Women are especially susceptible and the newer "bikini" class has expanded the competition popularity from where it had been previously with figure being the "softest" class.

Yes I'd never heard of it till I joined here. It adds a category that is more achievable from what I've seen (I think, please correct me if I'm wrong). BTW Ananda I love your profile pic!!

[FallenAngel80]

It makes me sad to see people on here that are still dieting, saying they are fat, etc. when what they need to do is eat and build muscle. Lots of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, etc. and both men and women. And no matter what we say, most of them will never take the advice and see out help. Its a huge bummer.

Totally agree, and especially with the last bit, unfortunately unless people are at that point where they want things to change then no amount of people giving them advice will help. It has to come from within; I say that from experience.

It is sad though. There are so many outside influences (e.g., media messages) that get in the way

[spradish]

I have said before that I have more body image issues now than I ever did while obese or as a younger (thin but not fit) woman. It has been difficult to transition from thinking of myself as a fat woman trying to lose weight to a healthy fit woman with just a bit of body fat to whittle away. Giving myself permission to eat at maintenance for months and then do a limited time cut rather than pursuing an open-ended "until my stomach fat is gone and my skin shrinks up" cut is what I need physiologically so I am doing that.

But mentally, I have to fight "stop being so weak" thoughts. I flip flop on how much to eat multiple times a day and then I chastise myself for that. I feel like taking time to eat more and build muscle and get stronger are rewards for people who don't have pudgy stomachs and I haven't earned the right to those rewards yet. And in the middle of all that, I can look at someone else who is in a spot similar to me and say hey, take a break and eat more and build some muscle, it'll make you feel better and eventually look better too. But giving myself permission to do that is really hard.

I've always been pretty logical and not too emotional person and realizing how screwy my thought process has become has been shocking to me. Right now I am trying to allow myself to recognize the positive changes I'm seeing in the mirror recently and taking notes of my stronger performances in the gym. That is helping a lot but I'm also not ruling out talking to a therapist if I feel like I need to.

[anandagirl]

BTW Ananda I love your profile pic!!

Thanks!

Totally agree, and especially with the last bit, unfortunately unless people are at that point where they want things to change then no amount of people giving them advice will help. It has to come from within; I say that from experience.

It is sad though. There are so many outside influences (e.g., media messages) that get in the way

Yes, and in addition to that, this website/forum is likely some of it too. The messages are so mixed even in these forums (not in the women's but in the Bro heavy categories sometimes)

I have said before that I have more body image issues now than I ever did while obese or as a younger (thin but not fit) woman. It has been difficult to transition from thinking of myself as a fat woman trying to lose weight to a healthy fit woman with just a bit of body fat to whittle away. Giving myself permission to eat at maintenance for months and then do a limited time cut rather than pursuing an open-ended "until my stomach fat is gone and my skin shrinks up" cut is what I need physiologically so I am doing that.

But mentally, I have to fight "stop being so weak" thoughts. I flip flop on how much to eat multiple times a day and then I chastise myself for that. I feel like taking time to eat more and build muscle and get stronger are rewards for people who don't have pudgy stomachs and I haven't earned the right to those rewards yet. And in the middle of all that, I can look at someone else who is in a spot similar to me and say hey, take a break and eat more and build some muscle, it'll make you feel better and eventually look better too. But giving myself permission to do that is really hard.

I've always been pretty logical and not too emotional person and realizing how screwy my thought process has become has been shocking to me. Right now I am trying to allow myself to recognize the positive changes I'm seeing in the mirror recently and taking notes of my stronger performances in the gym. That is helping a lot but I'm also not ruling out talking to a therapist if I feel like I need to.

I'm glad you feel this way, being aware of any potential issues and being open to helping yourself. I see a lot of similar thinking about not being able to "bulk" until you are thin. There is an example of this in the motivation thread - something about if you're lean you're more able to build lean muscle and if you're not lean, your muscle will be fatty? Which seems stupid to me. But there is definitely that overwhelming feeling that you can't bulk until you lose all the fat. I know I won't look good or healthy if I wait until my body fat is in the teens to bulk, you know? Being overly skinny and undermuscled doesn't look good on anyone, especially me So I'll likely be bulking at higher body fat. Heck I might even be "recomping" at a 30+% body fat in another month!

Anyway, we can only do so much to help people and I can't feel responsible if I can't "save" them. Such a complicated issue

[anonymous]

As one who has flirted with ED most of her life, and never got therapy for those issues, I can relate. I see so many posts that scream ED or the potential of one.......it is very sad, and an unfortunate window into the unhealthy and unreasonable expectations we have in our society.

[Banbimi]

It makes me sad to see people on here that are still dieting, saying they are fat, etc. when what they need to do is eat and build muscle. Lots of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, etc. and both men and women. And no matter what we say, most of them will never take the advice and see out help. Its a huge bummer.

/agree i noticed this too and it makes me sad.

[LunaLifts]

It's sad how many people don't even realize they're so unhealthy. EDs are usually portrayed certain, specific ways, and because of that even the ones who think they do have a problem think they aren't sick enough to warrant treatment. People don't realize they can be a healthy weight, and have an ED, or that they can be bulimic through means other than throwing up.

I've never gotten treatment myself, partially because of time, and travel, partially because it's not what I want my doctor and psych to be worried about anytime I go. I took it on myself, I make myself do what I know I need to, I recognize my behaviors so I can prevent myself from doing them. Most of all I try to work on not feeling the same way about numbers, and myself as I did. I've known other people who've managed to do the same. Some people need the extra help, many have other undiagnosed mental illnesses (depression, bipolar, anxiety, PTSD), getting mine treated helped the ED thoughts, and behaviors as well. Sometimes the best thing for people is to not be on this forum, and not be concerned with building or cutting, and need to focus on getting their mindset healthy first.

[AshbyCeleste]

Well I was going to post in the rustled jimmies thread, but this. I'm 75% sad, and 25% annoyed that so many posts in the female section amount to "I have this tiny little imperfection on my hips/butt/thighs/belly, please send me a quick fix." I get that this comes from anxiety and poor body image. I also think that sadly, extreme anxiety about this stuff comes across as a tad self-serving. I mean, a little gratitude would be nice. Because the majority of women on this forum look better than 95% of the general population. Every morning I wake up and thank Brodin that I have at least mediocre genetics, and the knowledge and will power to look halfway decent. Jk, only a bit.

It's true that when you're in school/university, surrounded by a sea of women ages 18-23, your perspective is skewed. I live in the midwest and mostly socialize with women ages 30+, thus I can look around me and think that my small bit of leftover booty cellulite isn't that bad.

[rockangel]

I don't even think its only the fitness comps, I feel like its the whole industry itself.

Even on my teeny tiny blog, which I am still surprised when anyone actually reads it, I get comments like, "you have cellulite, you should not be teaching fitness".... like really??? Cause something like 90 - 95% of women have cellulite, but because I'm into fitness and health, I cant share that because I'm "normal"??? I don't photoshop my pics on my blog because I like to show "real" results. I could fake results with photoshop, but doesn't that just perpetuate the myth that women have to be perfect and cant show any flaws or there is something wrong with them??

I feel often that I am told in real life how "skinny" "toned" "fit" I am, yet in the fitness industry, I am too "fat". Never mind that I am healthy by medical standards, and fit by fitness standards (can run, do pull ups and situps and stuffz), forget all my knowledge, and forget my teaching skills.....because I'm not "lean", nothing else matters.

Sure I would like to be leaner and more muscular, pretty sure that's the goal for most of us, but I can also take a step back and look at where I am and how far I have come. And I feel grateful to have a healthy working body when so many around me (even those younger than me) don't.

I can see where much of this comes from, as far as the nit picking on flaws. I do find it sad though that many people cant see the bigger picture of how the industry creates these "flaws" to make more money. And so many people out there exploit this. Bikini body programs for hundreds of dollars... Instagram people peddling skinny tea, waist trainers... etc...

[AshbyCeleste]

Checking out rockangel's instagram and blog, in that case! Sounds like a healthy dose of realism.

[rockangel]

Checking out rockangel's instagram and blog, in that case! Sounds like a healthy dose of realism.

My insta is so random, lol. Unfortunately, realism does not make one popular. I bet if I sold skinny teas and waist trainers and starved my self lean giving myself an ED in the process, I too would be raking in the money. Unfortunately for my bank account, I cant lie to people like that and I don't wish to deal with the health issues of an ED.

[megdaig]

Checking out rockangel's instagram and blog, in that case! Sounds like a healthy dose of realism.

What's the IG for RA?

I don't use it much but to read people trolling these InstaGuruCoaches like Paige Hathaway...its hours of entertainment.

[spradish]

It's true that when you're in school/university, surrounded by a sea of women ages 18-23, your perspective is skewed. I live in the midwest and mostly socialize with women ages 30+, thus I can look around me and think that my small bit of leftover booty cellulite isn't that bad.

Heh. I live in the Midwest too. I do see that I am in good shape compared to my peers but that's not comforting to me. I was talking to friends and admitted that I struggle a lot with my body image because of my stretched skin issues. They all rushed to say that they have stretched skin too because of their pregnancies. While I think they meant to be reassuring, it was the opposite because I know that none of them put much, if any, effort into being physically fit or at a healthy weight. And that is fine--to each her own--but I did think what is the point of all the effort I am putting forth here? Now, on a logical level, I know that I have more strength and muscle and look decent, but I am stuck on this one specific part of my body that just screams "failure" and "wreckage" to me.

[rockangel]

What's the IG for RA?

I don't use it much but to read people trolling these InstaGuruCoaches like Paige Hathaway...its hours of entertainment.

My IG is Bikinisandbiceps

I don't even follow many famous fitness people on IG. I like IG, but I also don't post everyday. I tend to follow more drag queens and burlesque peeps, cause I'm super jelly of their makeup skills and costumes!

I just hate how people would rather get insane advice from people who have no training just because they look pretty. How is Jen Selter a fitness guru when all she has is pics of her butt and no actual education in fitness??? But she has a huge IG following so she is on TV and all that and people listen to her stupid advice thinking they are gonna get that kind of bum.

One of the reasons I have been looking at going on to my masters is because of this, or more because of threads like this. There just seems to be such little help, true help, for those that need it most. The program I am looking at is an MS in Human Nutrition and Functional Medicine which would allow me to sit for the boards of real credentials in nutrition. At this point, whats 2 more years of school anyways, lol.

[Cass40]

While I was gone from here I was looking at some popular YouTube channels like Freelee and Cassey Ho, and it seems like you can pretty much say anything as long as you look pretty. Then they fight with each other because one is a vegan and the other one isn't. How to lose weight: biking and eating fifty bananas a day. The other one does some endless crunches that don't do crap.
Before I found this place, I liked this site called "stumptuous". The girl is awesome and really got me into lifting heavy. She was not trying to look pretty and was lifting wearing her army boots. that's my kinda girl..

[rockangel]

While I was gone from here I was looking at some popular YouTube channels like Freelee and Cassey Ho, and it seems like you can pretty much say anything as long as you look pretty. Then they fight with each other because one is a vegan and the other one isn't. How to lose weight: biking and eating fifty bananas a day. The other one does some endless crunches that don't do crap.
Before I found this place, I liked this site called "stumptuous". The girl is awesome and really got me into lifting heavy. She was not trying to look pretty and was lifting wearing her army boots. that's my kinda girl..

To be fair, Cassey Ho really is a certified instructor, (ETA: she also has a degree in biology too) and Pop Pilates (which I am also certified in) is recognized by AFAA and others. Plus, one of the girls who works with her, Hue Ta (who did my training) is an actual DR in Physical therapy.

And while pop pilates may look like endless crunches, its an amazing workout for core strength and movement. And its fun to teach
Its tougher than it looks. There are 2 rounds of practical evals you have to do before you can teach it.

[Cass40]

Well I did try Cassey's recipe where you put a banana in your eggs. Who knew that'd be the most delicious thing ever

[megdaig]

Well I did try Cassey's recipe where you put a banana in your eggs. Who knew that'd be the most delicious thing ever

Like scramble a whole egg and whole banana together?

[Cass40]

Like scramble a whole egg and whole banana together?

Yes, it's like a pancake. Just egg and a banana. So yummy. I think she did it in a waffle maker. She also made cookies of raspberry whitechocolate quest bars. She just made them cookies and baked them in an oven. I never tried that because it it too much effort. Now, putting a banana in my eggs, that I can do

[anandagirl]

I don't even think its only the fitness comps, I feel like its the whole industry itself.

Even on my teeny tiny blog, which I am still surprised when anyone actually reads it, I get comments like, "you have cellulite, you should not be teaching fitness".... like really??? Cause something like 90 - 95% of women have cellulite, but because I'm into fitness and health, I cant share that because I'm "normal"??? I don't photoshop my pics on my blog because I like to show "real" results. I could fake results with photoshop, but doesn't that just perpetuate the myth that women have to be perfect and cant show any flaws or there is something wrong with them??

I feel often that I am told in real life how "skinny" "toned" "fit" I am, yet in the fitness industry, I am too "fat". Never mind that I am healthy by medical standards, and fit by fitness standards (can run, do pull ups and situps and stuffz), forget all my knowledge, and forget my teaching skills.....because I'm not "lean", nothing else matters.

Sure I would like to be leaner and more muscular, pretty sure that's the goal for most of us, but I can also take a step back and look at where I am and how far I have come. And I feel grateful to have a healthy working body when so many around me (even those younger than me) don't.

I can see where much of this comes from, as far as the nit picking on flaws. I do find it sad though that many people cant see the bigger picture of how the industry creates these "flaws" to make more money. And so many people out there exploit this. Bikini body programs for hundreds of dollars... Instagram people peddling skinny tea, waist trainers... etc...

How dare people? That makes me so mad, it's no wonder people have so many body issues when the criticism comes from all sides.

I was just approached by a website to promote them on my blog - they review sh!t weight loss crap - fat burners, teas, waist shapers, wraps, etc. That crap didn't even deserve a response, DELETE.

[rockangel]

How dare people? That makes me so mad, it's no wonder people have so many body issues when the criticism comes from all sides.

I was just approached by a website to promote them on my blog - they review sh!t weight loss crap - fat burners, teas, waist shapers, wraps, etc. That crap didn't even deserve a response, DELETE.

I'm not even mad about it really. Its more annoying, because wordpress requires someone to put in their email to leave a reply, this person made an email account and then deleted the account after leaving the message. That's a lot of trouble to go through just to tell someone they have cellulite. I find it sad that someone would waste that much time just to say something so dumb.

But that's the crap that women go through daily.

[LunaLifts]

I was just approached by a website to promote them on my blog - they review sh!t weight loss crap - fat burners, teas, waist shapers, wraps, etc. That crap didn't even deserve a response, DELETE.

Tell me it was that ItWorks crap, lol. That's been all over lately, and as if it's not enough that it's some MLM nonsense, it's mostly that sort of chit they're plugging. An acquaintance from high school tried to get me into it, and I was trying so hard to nicely turn her down without flat out saying "I can't endorse products I think are damaging, misleading, bullchit that use people insecurities, and desire for shortcuts to make a buck."

I'm not even mad about it really. Its more annoying, because wordpress requires someone to put in their email to leave a reply, this person made an email account and then deleted the account after leaving the message. That's a lot of trouble to go through just to tell someone they have cellulite. I find it sad that someone would waste that much time just to say something so dumb.

But that's the crap that women go through daily.

Lol, I don't mean to laugh, because what they said is chitty, but the fact that they went through that much trouble is laughable, in a really sad, pathetic sorta way.

[Cass40]

Why is cellulite so offensive to people? I don't really care too much about my cellulite.

[rockangel]

Tell me it was that ItWorks crap, lol. That's been all over lately, and as if it's not enough that it's some MLM nonsense, it's mostly that sort of chit they're plugging. An acquaintance from high school tried to get me into it, and I was trying so hard to nicely turn her down without flat out saying "I can't endorse products I think are damaging, misleading, bullchit that use people insecurities, and desire for shortcuts to make a buck."

Lol, I don't mean to laugh, because what they said is chitty, but the fact that they went through that much trouble is laughable, in a really sad, pathetic sorta way.

When I read it, I was like, lol wut??? I attempted to address it directly by sending an email telling them that I post up my real pics and do not photoshop, asked them if they thought they would be happier if I did photo shop out my cellulite, which I don't event think is all that bad anyway. Told them that its genetic for me, my mom has it worse, and my 9 year old has a touch of it too. So should I make them feel bad for it??

The email got bounced back as non-existing.

Even elite athletes are made fun of
http://fox5sandiego.com/2016/08/15/w...s-heartbroken/

Who gives a crap if she is an elite athlete, did you see those edges, oh the shame..... seriously people, the real shame is that she let it get to her and it affected her performance.