Laser Focus

[anandagirl]

Hey Stranger!

[shesprints]

Hey Stranger!

Ayyy how you been???

Man I'm getting wrung out on this PSMF thing. I'm going to take a break from it/stop after Wednesday, which will have me at 9 straight days on the diet. I'm just getting too worn out and depressed from it, plus I have a very important event from Thursday thru Sunday and have to be sharp for it. I'm NOT mentally sharp right now. Can barely focus. It's not that I have cravings for food I'm just astoundingly low energy. :/


Today... I did hit the gym, although I feel riiight on the edge of fainting the whole time I'm there which kinda sucks. Protocol is to take in 5g of carbs preworkout but I cannot do that, it makes my blood sugar spike and then fall and then I really will pass out.

I mean I'm not surprised, I think my daily deficit is well over 1k cal/day right now. I mean I'm glad I did this but fuark.

Squats 145lb 3 x 6
TRX row 3 x 8
TRX Y raise x 4, 5, 5
Dead hang w hand switch 3 x 10
Assisted pullups 3 x 2
Assisted chinups 2 x 4

+ 1.5 mi easy run

running quite honestly seems to stabilize my system: makes me less hungry and tired, though I feel like complete chit while I'm doing it. Must be something to do with core temperature and jostling my stomach that decrease appetite. Bleh.

Thinking a lot lately how many fewer cravings I have when low carb. Fewer cravings but also so much less energy. What a weird tradeoff, you know? I would love to keep the absence of cravings thing but also get more energy, how do?????

[LunaLifts]

Man I'm getting wrung out on this PSMF thing. I'm going to take a break from it/stop after Wednesday, which will have me at 9 straight days on the diet. I'm just getting too worn out and depressed from it, plus I have a very important event from Thursday thru Sunday and have to be sharp for it. I'm NOT mentally sharp right now. Can barely focus. It's not that I have cravings for food I'm just astoundingly low energy.

I mean I'm not surprised, I think my daily deficit is well over 1k cal/day right now. I mean I'm glad I did this but fuark.

I'd be pretty worn out too, especially because a deficit that big for me is like 1200cals, but even if it wasn't below BMR, a deficit that big would be rough. I felt the same way when I used to use an aggressive deficit, except I didn't count macros so I did have cravings a lot, and binge tendencies. The physical fatigue, the toll on my mental health (the more I cut down, the more paranoid I got about food in general), I felt more insecure, and depressed more often. And I wasn't even as active, I stopped even doing cardio, because I had no energy for it.

The best deficit is a maintainable one.

Thinking a lot lately how many fewer cravings I have when low carb. Fewer cravings but also so much less energy. What a weird trade off, you know? I would love to keep the absence of cravings thing but also get more energy, how do?????

I've noticed that too, I mean I still have cravings here and there, but I'm not thinking about it so often, and it's not so many things at once. I thought energy would be an issue, but I've been ok as long as my cals are good. I workout in the morning, so I made sure I was still getting approximately the same amount of cals before exercise.
You're wanting to take a break from your current diet, so why not see if that helps first before adjusting macros?

[shesprints]

Hey there Luna! I'm not totally sure what you mean by your post, but it's cool--I think I'm figuring things out. I'm going off PSMF from now until Sunday at least, because I need to be sharp for the conference I'm attending, but I'm keeping cals and carbs relatively low and most of my meals the same or similar. We'll see. Then I'll consult with a dietitian next Wednesday and ask her opinion too.

Bleh.

But yeah. Anyway. Today I ran 3 miles. Have eaten about 950 cals so far and about to carb up to between 1300 and 1500. More than I've been getting so should help me feel better.

Maybe it's dumb but since I tried no-sugar and it didn't work, now I'm going to try no grain and see if that works better. Compare the two.

[LunaLifts]

Hey there Luna! I'm not totally sure what you mean by your post, but it's cool

Hahaha, I expect this response from all of my long-winded posts.

In short: cutting too many calories makes me tired, and messes with my head. Everyone's different, but the best way to cut is whatever's maintainable.

And I also have less cravings with lower carbs. My energy has been fine though, as long as my calories are good. Since you're quitting the PSMF for now, see if that helps your energy.

[anandagirl]

I've always thoughts about doing PSMF, right about the time I start chowing on doughnuts. I keed, i keed, but only slightly. It was pasta.

How much until your goal? Passing out isn't good

[phoenix4444]

Shesprints where art thou?

[shesprints]

Shesprints where art thou?

OMG my friend!! It's been way too loooong. I'm sorry I haven't been logging. I'm still working out, it's just that my workouts are so boring these days--lots of running.

So yeah, I'm off PSMF because that was terrible, but I liked how it reset my appetite a bit? I'm down about 8 pounds, which is great. Umm honestly I want to lose 20 more. I'm eating approx 1600 calories/day, lifting 3 x / week, and running 6 times/ week (varying distances, anywhere from 2-5 miles). When I write that out, it sounds like a lot; that likely explains why I'm losing about 2 pounds a week. I'm just amazed that I CAN lose weight--it's because I've switched meds, no doubt. It's crazy how just one chemical component had such a huge effect on my metabolism and even my fitness--it turns out Paxil seriously inhibits aerobic and muscular fitness. Yes, I'm on a new combination (non-weight-gain-causing) of meds and have a therapist.

My primary gym goal right now is an unassisted pullup. So literally every time I lift I do dead hands, dead hangs with hand switches, and tempo assisted pullups/pushups with 1 band. Slow lower (4-count) and slow lift (2-count). I am assuming that the weight loss will work together with the practice to make me a pullup beast by the time I'm done, so it's nice to have compatible goals that way; I've wanted to be able to do a pullup for my entire adult life.

I'd also like to improve my running, targeting the mile distance next year (indoors this winter if things go REALLY well). I've built up to 17-18 miles a week and wish to continue GRADUALLY until I hit about 30, which is a sweet spot for me, a mileage at which I don't get hurt and can still throw in some speedwork at some point. Because of my injury history with running I'm a) going very slowly (9:30-10:00/miles) and b) increasing my distance slowly, as well. Running is also something that will get easier as I get lighter.


Anyway. Let's see, here's what I've been up to in the gym....


7/9

Dead hang 1 min x 2
Deadlifts 155lb 3 x 10
Assisted pullups 3 x 3
Assisted chinups 3 x 5
Glute ham raise 3 x 8
Pushups 3 x 10

+ easy 5-mile run


7/10

easy 3 mile run

7/11

Dead hang pullup grip 2 x 1 min, chinup grip 2 x 30 seconds
Box squats 135lb 4 x 5
Assisted pullups 4 x 3 tempo (2 up 4 down)
Assisted chinups 4 x 4 tempo
Spoto press 85lb 4 x 5
Back extension 35lb 3 x 10

+ easy 3-mile run



Happily I do not seem to be losing much if any strength as of yet. I definitely feel drag@ss in the gym most of the time--pretty dizzy and tired by the time I get to my run--but once I AM running and warm up it's like my hunger and tiredness ebb a bit. Running has always had that effect: it seems to get rid of my hunger and kill my appetite.

[LunaLifts]

Good to see an update from ya! Sounds like the new diet is going well, congrats on the 8lbs. Glad to hear the med switch is working for you, meds can be a tricky beast.

Good luck with the fitness goals. Have you tried adding some negatives to work on the pull ups? It's the most recommended exercise to help build up to full pull ups, though admittedly it does feel a little silly.

Running has always had that effect: it seems to get rid of my hunger and kill my appetite.

Been having appetite issues, maybe I should take up running. lol.
If my treadmil worked right I'd at least be able to program intervals, as least to improve my cardio overall, and maybe figure out not getting stitches.

[phoenix4444]

Hey back Truly has been way too long. Missed you woman. I was worried you were in a PMSF stupor. You cant deny the brutal results it gives but damn.

Mirin that work load. you are my inspiration when it comes to busting ass.

[shesprints]

@Luna, great idea on the negatives! I don't mind looking stupid. Every time I get up to the bar with my resistance band I look like I'm about to dramatically attempt suicide anyhow.

But re: running and appetite suppressant effects, apparently I'm in a tiny minority there, so you my not want to copy me. Most people, according to my good friend the super jacked V02Maxima, experience MORE appetite from cardio (even running), not less. Perhaps that's why I was a successful anorexic back in the day. The more I run, the less I want to eat. There's probably a tipping point. Super long runs do make me hungrier. But I have a sweet spot right around 3-5 miles where it has zero appetite-increasing effect; it's like my body just absorbs that distance and goes 'huh okay, that felt good, I can recover from that without extra food.'

Much science there. Very objective. XD But yeah, I may be anomalous in the running to lose weight regard, there are all those stories about women getting lean without any cardio... nope, not me. If I just weight lift, I think my body goes, 'oh, we're in fat powerlifter mode now. Go eat.'

HI PHOENIX! See above for why I do so much working out, lol. I'm wired for it, but we're alllll different. <3



Speaking of,

Today--

5 miles easy (9:48 pace)

boom, done.

[shesprints]

Guess I'll keep logging...

My friend invited me to Montauk for the weekend. I'm kind of bleh on it since the girl I was dating doesn't seem interested anymore and won't come, so I'll be like, just me and my friend, but I guess that's okay. I do get along well with him and he makes me feel better to be around. It's just that I've been so depressed, anxious, and on edge, plus I'm being so meticulous about my diet, I'm worried a different setting will throw me off and make it harder for me. Doing anything out of my routine screws me up and may cause more stress than it doesn't.

I'm sure part of this is because my diet is so strict, but part of me also thinks, why am I so hungry all the time and having such a hard time with it? It's not like I'm eating THAT little, and I'm sure not losing TONS of weight. It's frustrating. I'm at 1600 cal/day, working out like mad, and while I did drop 6.6 pounds the first 3 weeks I was only down .8 this last week. I KNOW water weight blah blah blah, but still, it's getting to me, especially since I'm actually doing even more exercise. And eating is 100% perfectly measured and the same.

Bleh.

Anyway.

Today at the gym was... rough. It was hard to get myself going and I was in a funk, and my left foot has been killing me for weeks and just... meh.

Dead hang pullup grip 45 sec, 1 min
Speed deadlifts 135lb 3 x 13
Assisted pullups 3 x 3 tempo
Assisted chinups 3 x 4 tempo
OHP 65lb 3 x 4

+ easy 3 mile run



This entire month has been really hard. It's hard to fight hunger this much. But I'm still so far from my goal weight that I just can't let myself eat more for fear that I'll never get there--the unpleasantness just makes me want to push through even faster, which I suppose makes no sense.

Anyway, I'm very much in my 'I need to be in this exact routine and safe at home' right now.

If I do go away with my friend I'm going to prep food to bring with me and just eat that--easier.

[phoenix4444]

Please don't stop logging, I just got back

There is a sense of safety and comfort with a rigid routine. Can be claustrophobic as well. A fine line there. Sometimes it is best to avoid any situation that might upset the apple cart, especially if you don't feel your best. But then again who knows maybe getting out will be the just what you need. What ever course you chose I will be there for you.

If you think about it 1600 calories is pretty low considering your activity level. And you did recently come off PSMF which totally annihilates you. Did you take a diet break between PSMF and your present plan?

[shesprints]

Please don't stop logging, I just got back

There is a sense of safety and comfort with a rigid routine. Can be claustrophobic as well. A fine line there. Sometimes it is best to avoid any situation that might upset the apple cart, especially if you don't feel your best. But then again who knows maybe getting out will be the just what you need. What ever course you chose I will be there for you.

If you think about it 1600 calories is pretty low considering your activity level. And you did recently come off PSMF which totally annihilates you. Did you take a diet break between PSMF and your present plan?

Aw I won't stop <3 I only stopped before because you were away too and you're my main logging bud

No, I didn't take a diet break between PSMF and now.

I get rationally that 1600 is low, but when I ate more than that (1900) weight loss was just too slow, and I got very frustrated. At least when I eat the 1600 I know that--if the scale doesn't move for a few days--it eventually HAS to. I'm tweaking my macros a bit to help me out... I was eating too little fat for awhile and upping that slightly (to 35-40 grams a day) has helped me feel a little more stable.

I decided to go away for the weekend but bring food. My friend is super chill and always helps me relax if I'm stressing. Plus, my exercise day off is tomorrow so I don't have to worry about that part of the routine.

I think it will be good practice to see that I can maintain control while changing my routine slightly. If I need support I'll come on here and say 'help!' <3

[tina722]

35-40g is still low. Given depression issues and the importance of fat in producing hormones, why isn't it higher? It'll also help with general fullness. Not trying to be negative, I'm curious.

Also, maybe introduce refeeds every other week?

Time of month and PMS make dieting 1000x harder for me. I usually have to take a day or two off completely.

[shesprints]

35-40g is still low. Given depression issues and the importance of fat in producing hormones, why isn't it higher? It'll also help with general fullness. Not trying to be negative, I'm curious.

Also, maybe introduce refeeds every other week?

Time of month and PMS make dieting 1000x harder for me. I usually have to take a day or two off completely.

Good point.

Part of the reason fat is not higher is that it does not help me very much with satiety in the short term, certainly not as much as protein. But I could tweak it slightly upwards.

Refeeds kind of scare me. I'm worried they'll erase my deficit or that they mean I'm being undisciplined. I'm the kind of person who gets really locked into one mode of being--it's very comforting to me to stick with the exact same thing every day. (Yes, I have mild OCD). Every other week seems like a lot... maybe when my weight gets a bit lower? Like when I have just 10-15 pounds to go, refeeds would make more sense?

[tina722]

Refeeds kind of scare me. I'm worried they'll erase my deficit or that they mean I'm being undisciplined. I'm the kind of person who gets really locked into one mode of being--it's very comforting to me to stick with the exact same thing every day. (Yes, I have mild OCD). Every other week seems like a lot... maybe when my weight gets a bit lower? Like when I have just 10-15 pounds to go, refeeds would make more sense?

I get that. I haven't been able to implement them very well, despite mostly successful diet cycles over the last few years. For me, refeeds are just 2-300 calories excess on one day. Only carbs though, which are not my preference for eating.

Just hang in there then, reevaluate in another week or two. There should be hungry days, but not permanent tiredness/lack of motivation.

Glad you are logging again.

[shesprints]

I get that. I haven't been able to implement them very well, despite mostly successful diet cycles over the last few years. For me, refeeds are just 2-300 calories excess on one day. Only carbs though, which are not my preference for eating.

Just hang in there then, reevaluate in another week or two. There should be hungry days, but not permanent tiredness/lack of motivation.

Glad you are logging again.

Sounds like a plan. Quick Q: is that an extra 200-300 cal above weight loss calories or above maintenance? Those are very different propositions, lol.

[tina722]

Sounds like a plan. Quick Q: is that an extra 200-300 cal above weight loss calories or above maintenance? Those are very different propositions, lol.

I do above weight loss calories. So it sucks, just enough to really get you hungry and regret dieting. :/ Prob why I'm never very successful at consistent implementation.

[shesprints]

I do above weight loss calories. So it sucks, just enough to really get you hungry and regret dieting. :/ Prob why I'm never very successful at consistent implementation.

LOL yeah that seems like a tease. I mean there may be days that based on hunger I just have to increase cals in order to like. Get to sleep. I have this bad habit of taking a Benadryl to sleep sometimes when hunger is keeping me awake. -_- Eating a larger dinner helps too.

Tried more fat at breakfast today and felt good energy for my run, so I'll keep that up. I tend to be biased toward protein and carbs based on taste--I don't have a 'fat tooth'--but including a little more should help mood and hormones.

Today...

Ran 5 miles easy (49 min)
Finally a good comfortable run, no strain at all, whew.

[phoenix4444]

Have fun on your week-end.

[shesprints]

The weekend went well. Food was totally under control because we ate at the house, I brought food, and what I didn't bring was just fresh vegetables and steak cooked on a grill. Plus I brought my food scale. Luckily my friends know I'm neurotic and didn't mind.

The weekend included jetskiing, tubing (SUPER FUN), archery, and tennis. I also ran 3.5 miles on Sunday.

Now I'm back! Hit the gym today.

Squats 155lb 3 x 6
Pushups 3 x 10
Dead hang 1 min pullup grip, 1 min chinup grip
Assisted pullups 3 x 3 tempo
Assisted chinups 3 x 4 tempo


+ 3 miles run easy


Running continues to get easier. I have my 'glide' back--the stride that feels as easy and automatic as walking, or even more so. Happy about this.

Appetite is also way down. May be due to new meds causing some stomach upset, but I'll take it. I actually wound up eating only around 1500 cals each day of the weekend. 1600 again today.

[LunaLifts]

I have no advice regarding diet I tend to aim for the more aggressive side, because I have frequent high days, and dinner can vary so much (no control over it). Then again, I'm sedentary a lot, my activity is lifting, stretching, and some days a bit of moderate cardio. If I were running, hiking, rock climbing, and swimming, I'd be so dead. lol.

Ok, I guess I have an advice, listen to your body. You said 1900 wasn't low enough, but there's some middle ground between 1600, and 1900, so if you feel you're too worn out from it, try a small bump.

[shesprints]

Yeah, maybe I'll bump them up if I continue to increase my running mileage; we'll see! Today I did 6 miles and it went awesome, so boo yah. Oh, and I'm down 1.6 this week (actually, 6 days since I weighed in on Wednesday last week). So I feel a biiiit better about that. And right now, 1600 is working out okay.


Anyways.... today:

6 miles easy, 59:00.

Wasn't even out of breath. GOAT feeling to be in decent running shape again at least as far as building my endurance base.

[shesprints]

Whew. Even with the 6 miles I stayed at 1600 cal yesterday. I MAY consider bumping up as I increase my running mileage, though. I'm on track to get 27 miles this week; I think that may merit a slight caloric increase. I'll discuss this with my RD on Friday.


Good workout today, as well. I'm actually starting to feel more FIT, as opposed to just stronger. My body feels lighter, more flexible, less achy; my cardio has clearly improved from the running. I've never actually built a base at low intensities before (I used to run all of my runs too fast), and it's working--I do not feel beat up at all, just more and more ready to cover greater distances. In addition, my hunger feels less intense and my blood sugar more stable even at a deficit; I think the cardio helps me with blood sugar control. Now, mind you, I'm not prediabetic or anything... it just seems to make my body regulate itself better. Anyway, my conclusion is that low-intensity cardio + some heavy lifting + bodyweight stuff = working for me.

Bodyweight stuff feels easier as well, and I could see my lats popping from the side in the mirror the other day.

I still cannot do more than 10 seconds of a dead hang with only 1 hand, though. I must work on that.

Today's workout...

Deadlifts 185lb 2 x 6
Dead hang 1 min pullup grip, 1 min chinup grip
Assisted pullups 4 x 3
Assisted chinups 4 x 4
Glute ham raise 4 x 10
Pushups 3 x 15

+ 3 miles easy run


Have also continued slightly higher fat intake and feeling good on that. I'm on track for about 45 grams today. Been eating some salmon and sirloin steak as well as chicken. That, too, may be contributing to my steadier energy.

[tina722]

Glad the diet is steadying out. Those hungry days are awful. To us non-cardio people, your activity sounds like a lot but looking at calories/mile of running, it is probably pretty low burn rate.

Your weekend sounds great. Was tubing on a river? I love that!

[shesprints]

Glad the diet is steadying out. Those hungry days are awful. To us non-cardio people, your activity sounds like a lot but looking at calories/mile of running, it is probably pretty low burn rate.

Your weekend sounds great. Was tubing on a river? I love that!

It was on the OCEAN! My friends pulled the tube behind the jetski.

Running is supposed to burn approximately 100 calories per mile. So it's not insignificant. I may indeed bump my cals up by 100 per day (to 1700 or so) given that my mileage has increased this week in particular. We'll see. My appetite is still, happily, decently low. Quite a relief. I check in with the dietitian tomorrow.

[shesprints]

Yesterday:

6.15 miles run mostly easy


Today:

Dead hang pullup grip 1 min, chinup grip 1 min
Squats 155lb 3 x 6
Bench press 95lb 3 x 6
Assisted pullups 3 x 3 tempo
Assisted chinups 3 x 4 tempo

+ 3 miles run easy


I'm feeling totally beat down today. Like just... destroyed. Brain fog for hours, hard to drag myself to the gym. Super glad my weekly day off is tomorrow, because I NEED it. I also met with my dietitian who agrees 1700 cal is a better level given this activity. It's not so much that my stomach is hungry--I eat a lot of vegetables--it's that my body isn't recovering that well right now.

And she also said that 45-57 grams of fat should be my target, along with 130-150 grams of protein and some carbohydrate at every meal to avoid blood sugar lows. So, I'll do my best to stick with that. The fat one will take some tweaking but I can feel how even raising it slightly is helping me to recover and feel more satiated. I bought some salmon for tonight's dinner with that in mind.

[shesprints]

Continued eating salmon and beef for protein, though yesterday I think I had too much protein and not enough carbs (blood sugar got really low after I was out all day... skipped a starch serving at lunch because it was my day off exercise, but then I walked all around the city with my friend so I think I still could've used more carbs). Calories and macros are otherwise where they should be, right under 1700 does feel a bit better but not excessive.

Yesterday: day off.

Today:

6.1 miles easy run (1 hour)


My left ankle had been bothering me a lot; I sprained it, or something, during a trail run maybe two months ago. It's FINALLY feeling better, though I'm still running 90% of the time on the treadmill to prevent any weird sidesteps/tripping that could mess it up again. Just glad it doesn't hurt as much and appears to be healing. Slow healing is part and parcel of a cut for me, I'm afraid.

Running really helps my mindset, though. It seems to be the only thing that really gets me out of my head, my obsessive thoughts, and into my body.

But I still hate running for a full hour, lol, that feels super long and tiring to me. I've never known how true long distance athletes--marathoners and the like--did it. I did OK up to the half marathon distance but can't imagine running longer than that, ever. Sigh. I would like to try a marathon SOMEday, maybe....

[Fiction2Fitness]

Nice work with all of that running. Can imagine a little more fuel will help with all of those miles. An hour does feel like a long time running, especially if doing it on a treadmill. And I'm with you on the half-marathon length though I haven't even gotten that far yet myself. Maybe some day but that feels like a long enough distance for me.