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  1. #1
    Registered User fatandnotproud's Avatar
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    FatAndNotProud Weight Loss Log - Your support its highly appreciated

    Another forum member told me to start my own log, so here I am! What a wonderful idea to have a log!

    I was born extremely thin then somewhere along the line (when I was six, exactly) I began my journey to morbid obesity.

    My weight last year (2015): 363 lbs (165kg)
    My weight now (2016): 335 lbs (152kg)

    15kg lost in a 4 month timespan.

    Goal: 176 lbs (80kg)

    I'm 182 cm tall (6ft)

    My diet is varied and my calorie intake according to fitness pal should be around 2100 carbs. I pay almost NO attention to sugar, sodium and protein since most of the time (95%) I never go beyond what's recommend for my diet. The times I do, it is with sodium or fat, but I always stay within my calorie deficit.

    I own two dumbbells (33lbs - 15kg total) and I work out 3 times a week. My workout is as follows:

    3 times a week. Monday, Wed, Thurs.
    4 sets of 8 reps (dumbbell curl, 7.5kg each dumbbell)
    4 sets of 8 reps (lateral raise, one dumbbell 7.5kg each shoulder)
    4 sets of 8 reps (seated dumbbell press, 7.5kg each dumbbell)

    I work out on a stationary bike at least two times a week since this post. Most of the time, I burn around 900 calories with my bike (due to my age -35- and current weight). For me, 30 min stationary bike, vigorous (almost heart attack rate) equals to 900 calories, according to all the calculators. My stationary bike is, of course, calibrated for a very healthy person and it says only 300 calories burned, which cannot be (not with my current weight). Anyway, these machines and online calculators are not very accurate, so I take it must be around half point both estimates (450)

    I will try to log here, if not every day, every week or so

    One thing I want to note: I noticed my family members and friends want me to stay fat. I lost a lot of weight (35lbs is a lot for someone who barely moves) and they are trying, very hard in some instances, to keep me fat, for some reason. I believe they are used to have a fat person around or perhaps they are afraid that I may become the best version of myself, no idea what is going on but it absolutely surprises me, it stupefies me to the point where I'm starting to get paranoid about my own weight.

    I'm curious if other forum members went through the same. If they saw their friends make fun of you trying to loose weight in the most cruelest ways, or if they saw their family members try to hijack your new lifestyle. Is this...normal?
    Last edited by fatandnotproud; 02-08-2016 at 04:41 PM.
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  2. #2
    ***Keto4life*** cherrygarcia80's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post
    Another forum member told me to start my own log, so here I am! What a wonderful idea to have a log!

    I was born extremely thin then somewhere along the line (when I was six, exactly) I began my journey to morbid obesity.

    My weight last year (2015): 363 lbs (165kg)
    My weight now (2016): 335 lbs (152kg)

    15kg lost in a 4 month timespan.

    Goal: 176 lbs (80kg)

    I'm 182 cm tall (6ft)

    My diet is varied and my calorie intake according to fitness pal should be around 2100 carbs. I pay almost NO attention to sugar, sodium and protein since most of the time (95%) I never go beyond what's recommend for my diet. The times I do, it is with sodium or fat, but I always stay within my calorie deficit.

    I own two dumbbells (33lbs - 15kg total) and I work out 3 times a week. My workout is as follows:

    3 times a week. Monday, Wed, Thurs.
    4 sets of 8 reps (dumbbell curl, 7.5kg each dumbbell)
    4 sets of 8 reps (lateral raise, one dumbbell 7.5kg each shoulder)
    4 sets of 8 reps (seated dumbbell press, 7.5kg each dumbbell)

    I work out on a stationary bike at least two times a week since this post. Most of the time, I burn around 900 calories with my bike (due to my age -35- and current weight). For me, 30 min stationary bike, vigorous (almost heart attack rate) equals to 900 calories, according to all the calculators. My stationary bike is, of course, calibrated for a very healthy person and it says only 300 calories burned, which cannot be (not with my current weight). Anyway, these machines and online calculators are not very accurate, so I take it must be around half point both estimates (450)

    I will try to log here, if not every day, every week or so

    One thing I want to note: I noticed my family members and friends want me to stay fat. I lost a lot of weight (35lbs is a lot for someone who barely moves) and they are trying, very hard in some instances, to keep me fat, for some reason. I believe they are used to have a fat person around or perhaps they are afraid that I may become the best version of myself, no idea what is going on but it absolutely surprises me, it stupefies me to the point where I'm starting to get paranoid about my own weight.

    I'm curious if other forum members went through the same. If they saw their friends make fun of you trying to loose weight in the most cruelest ways, or if they saw their family members try to hijack your new lifestyle. Is this...normal?
    Great to see you started your fat loss log. It really has helped me stay on track on this long journey.

    So sorry to hear about sabotage/hostility from some family and friends. Just ignore them and let that hateration be the fuel to your fire to keep going and show them that you really are doing it. I don't know what's wrong with people sometimes. Luckily I haven't experienced anything from family. But I have noticed distance from some friends who I really thought would be the ones to encourage me. It really sucks but I learnt early on for the first time in my life to not give a crap about what anyone thinks about me when it comes to my weight loss journey. I've had days when I was on my way to my workout and had some nasty comment from a stranger and I'd use that as motivation to give 100% and keep going.

    People can be so complex I have no idea why. There's a thread I used to read regularly on here I think it is "were you treated differently after losing alot of weight". The responses are always so mind boggling how people are treated when overweight and when they lose weight, many also spoke of sabotage/hate from family friends http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...98532&page=262

    Anyway, will stop rambling there haha. All the best
    =================
    Total weight lost: 152 lbs
    =================

    Starting weight: 378.1 lbs
    Current weight: 225.8 lbs

    ******* 3 years and 3 months on keto so far - keto4life!!! ***************

    my fat loss log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=166528931
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  3. #3
    Registered User fatandnotproud's Avatar
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    fatandnotproud is offline

    First Log

    Stardate 47634.44, first log entry.

    We are heading to the planet Talos, in the Alpha quadrant, where a scientific vessel from the Talarian republic has requested the Federation's assistance in the ongoing experiments with the planet's current atmosphere contamination level. We expect to be able to aid the Talarian scientists into lifting the planet's quarantine that has been imposed by the Federation since the incident with the Ferengi took event.

    We expect to rendezvous with the Talarian vessel in three days and I've taken the time to do an hour of exercise with dumbbells in the holodeck. I added chest press to the routine, it was a first, quite hard to be honest. Felt amazing though, I wonder how much time it will be until my chest starts filling up with muscles of all kind.

    My attempt to post a detailed summary of my current diet failed, apparently the bodybuilding regulations say I can only post links or images once my post counts is 50 or greater.
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  4. #4
    Failed Attempt MTubz's Avatar
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    The 50 post thing sucks. People suggest going to the misc. section of the forum to build your count up, easy to find random threads to post in and no one will notice anyways.

    As for the sabotage.... I find that my wife although supportive of me losing weight, will always question my methods as they are different from what she does. I also find people at work will joke around, at least that's how I see it, and offer up junk food or takeout often. Honestly there is only one person who matters for your weight loss and that's yourself.
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  5. #5
    Registered User fatandnotproud's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MTubz View Post
    The 50 post thing sucks. People suggest going to the misc. section of the forum to build your count up, easy to find random threads to post in and no one will notice anyways.

    As for the sabotage.... I find that my wife although supportive of me losing weight, will always question my methods as they are different from what she does. I also find people at work will joke around, at least that's how I see it, and offer up junk food or takeout often. Honestly there is only one person who matters for your weight loss and that's yourself.
    Indeed it is, but it will help a lot if you had the support of family and peers. I think people get a laugh at seeing someone fail miserably, so they try to get you there. In myself, it has the opposite effect, honestly; I just try harder to prove them wrong.

    Thanks for your post!
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  6. #6
    Registered User fatandnotproud's Avatar
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    Captain's log, stardate 93725.03, after a successful rendezvous with the Talarian ship, we leave the Alpha Quadrant with a sour taste in our mouths; despite our combined efforts were unable to revert the damage done by the Ferengui vessel on Talos, something Starfleet and the whole crew was confident in achieving. We now head to Starbase 82 in Beta Quadrant for reparations as our main dish disruptor got damage during the experiment. We will be arriving in 17 days in which I hope to spend time with the crew and their families.

    Since my first log I lost 2 more kg, I am now down to 17kg lost (37lbs) and for the first time in years I feel healthy and confident this may be the change I was so eagerly needing. My family still roll their eyes when they see me struggling with the weights and they have even tried to talk me out of it by attempting to inflict fear to injuries if I was to pursue my goal.

    They have been not successful in diminish my interest in exercise.
    Last edited by fatandnotproud; 02-14-2016 at 04:31 PM.
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  7. #7
    Smells like Cheesecake Nadakelvin's Avatar
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    Well done on the gearing in here for accountability and getting started. I'm gonna follow along on this. Will rep for Star Trek log entry when it's off cooldown. That made me smile.
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  8. #8
    Registered User NeverTilt's Avatar
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    Great Job on the loss so far

    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post

    One thing I want to note: I noticed my family members and friends want me to stay fat. I lost a lot of weight (35lbs is a lot for someone who barely moves) and they are trying, very hard in some instances, to keep me fat, for some reason. I believe they are used to have a fat person around or perhaps they are afraid that I may become the best version of myself, no idea what is going on but it absolutely surprises me, it stupefies me to the point where I'm starting to get paranoid about my own weight.

    I'm curious if other forum members went through the same. If they saw their friends make fun of you trying to loose weight in the most cruelest ways, or if they saw their family members try to hijack your new lifestyle. Is this...normal?
    Yes, we all experience this on some level, some more than others. The best way I found to combat this, is to simply keep it to yourself.. Kinda hard sometimes I know, and with all the social media etc... I find everyone likes to air their dirty laundry for the public to see, and everyone wants a pat on the back when they are making better choices. I get it, I do!! The more I seem to talk about losing to everyone else, the worse I feel when I fall off the wagon, plus I may be letting down those few that are actually cheering for me. It's a much better feeling when you see that aunt that you haven't seen in 4 months to say wow are you losing weight, as opposed to are you still trying to loose weight? Also I have found that nobody really cares, and the more you talk about it the more it aggravates people. Nobody wants to hear how your workout went, or that u chose that salad over the burger, they simply don't care. After so much of having to hear about it, they start getting frustrated and tend to be negative. THIS IS ALL FROM MY EXPERIENCE and may differ from others..

    If you notice my pics (and their dates), and how long I have been a member here, you will know this has been a huge struggle for me : /

    My wife actually confessed to me one day but not purposely that she thinks if I loose the weight I may leave her..... I was 80 lbs lighter when we met, why would that even cross her mind!?!?!? No wonder all the times I asked her to leave me out at dinner time for the meatloaf, she didn't....

    So whatever their reason or lack of a reason, the majority of people don't understand and are not supportive. U will find the ones that are supportive if you haven't already. If that buddy never asks how your workouts are going, don't mention them because he doesn't care. All he knows is now you are skipping poker nights to go to the gym and not having that beer after work on Mondays.

    BB.com will ALWAYS be here for you, I love all the members and most will steer you in the right direction. This is my go to. I'm back at it again. Wish you the best of LUCK!!!
    Last edited by NeverTilt; 02-14-2016 at 04:45 PM.
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  9. #9
    Registered User NeverTilt's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, I would try and swing for a couple more dumbbells Working out consistently those are going to get light really quick . Awesome job!!
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  10. #10
    ***Keto4life*** cherrygarcia80's Avatar
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    cherrygarcia80 is offline
    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post
    Since my first log I lost 2 more kg, I am now down to 17kg lost (37lbs) and for the first time in years I feel healthy and confident this may be the change I was so eagerly needing. My family still roll their eyes when they see me struggling with the weights and they have even tried to talk me out of it by attempting to inflict fear to injuries if I was to pursue my goal.
    .
    @OP: Really happy for you, just keep going and ignore the naysayers, at the end of the day the only person you have to be there for you and take care of you is YOU! So put your health first and you're doing a great job of it so far!

    Originally Posted by NeverTilt View Post
    Yes, we all experience this on some level, some more than others. The best way I found to combat this, is to simply keep it to yourself.. Kinda hard sometimes I know, and with all the social media etc... I find everyone likes to air their dirty laundry for the public to see, and everyone wants a pat on the back when they are making better choices. I get it, I do!! The more I seem to talk about losing to everyone else, the worse I feel when I fall off the wagon, plus I may be letting down those few that are actually cheering for me. It's a much better feeling when you see that aunt that you haven't seen in 4 months to say wow are you losing weight, as opposed to are you still trying to loose weight? Also I have found that nobody really cares, and the more you talk about it the more it aggravates people. Nobody wants to hear how your workout went, or that u chose that salad over the burger, they simply don't care. After so much of having to hear about it, they start getting frustrated and tend to be negative. THIS IS ALL FROM MY EXPERIENCE and may differ from others..

    If you notice my pics (and their dates), and how long I have been a member here, you will know this has been a huge struggle for me : /

    My wife actually confessed to me one day but not purposely that she thinks if I loose the weight I may leave her..... I was 80 lbs lighter when we met, why would that even cross her mind!?!?!? No wonder all the times I asked her to leave me out at dinner time for the meatloaf, she didn't....

    So whatever their reason or lack of a reason, the majority of people don't understand and are not supportive. U will find the ones that are supportive if you haven't already. If that buddy never asks how your workouts are going, don't mention them because he doesn't care. All he knows is now you are skipping poker nights to go to the gym and not having that beer after work on Mondays.

    BB.com will ALWAYS be here for you, I love all the members and most will steer you in the right direction. This is my go to. I'm back at it again. Wish you the best of LUCK!!!
    @Nevertilt: Thankyou so much for this post. I honestly began to think i was going crazy but your post has put things in perspective for me. I generally never talk about my weightloss with anyone IRL, I remember once telling an aunt sometime back that i'd lost 60 pounds and she proceeded to give me "that look" kinda like i'm lying to her and she gave me the up and down stare to confirm it, I was so distraught and vowed i'd never discuss it with anyone.

    1.5yrs later i'm still on my journey and decided it was time i confided in 2 of my closest friends about it, the first time they asked questions about how i'm doing it, questions about my diet, for how long do i gym etc etc. It made me so happy to realise that i could talk about it with people in real life...... Then it's like soon after they completely lost interest. Now usually i'll mention something about "sorry i was late i was from the gym" or something diet related and see the mental eyerolls and the topic usually quickly changes to superficial bullsh!t and all the while i'm thinking i thought they are supposed to be happy for me. I honestly hardly ever talk about it, for the first time i felt comfortable confiding in people and quickly realised they are just not interested at all.

    I had to lol at your last statement because that is the truth. The only people interested are those on bb as we are all walking the same journey with the same interests and same goals. The world outside of bb just does not seem to give a crap.

    The one exercise i need to do consistently from now on is keeping my mouth shut at all times about my lifestyle changes. For once in my life i'm doing what matters to me (the only thing that ever did as i've been obese all my life) and it's like no one gives a crap!!! The hell is wrong with people?


    ----

    @OP: so sorry for hijacking your thread. I didn't realize i had so much resentment bottled up inside me about that whole issue lol, just needed to vent, i shall do it elsewhere next time. And once again all the best on your journey
    =================
    Total weight lost: 152 lbs
    =================

    Starting weight: 378.1 lbs
    Current weight: 225.8 lbs

    ******* 3 years and 3 months on keto so far - keto4life!!! ***************

    my fat loss log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=166528931
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  11. #11
    Registered User NeverTilt's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cherrygarcia80 View Post

    @Nevertilt: Thankyou so much for this post. I honestly began to think i was going crazy but your post has put things in perspective for me. I generally never talk about my weightloss with anyone IRL, I remember once telling an aunt sometime back that i'd lost 60 pounds and she proceeded to give me "that look" kinda like i'm lying to her and she gave me the up and down stare to confirm it, I was so distraught and vowed i'd never discuss it with anyone.

    1.5yrs later i'm still on my journey and decided it was time i confided in 2 of my closest friends about it, the first time they asked questions about how i'm doing it, questions about my diet, for how long do i gym etc etc. It made me so happy to realise that i could talk about it with people in real life...... Then it's like soon after they completely lost interest. Now usually i'll mention something about "sorry i was late i was from the gym" or something diet related and see the mental eyerolls and the topic usually quickly changes to superficial bullsh!t and all the while i'm thinking i thought they are supposed to be happy for me. I honestly hardly ever talk about it, for the first time i felt comfortable confiding in people and quickly realised they are just not interested at all.

    I had to lol at your last statement because that is the truth. The only people interested are those on bb as we are all walking the same journey with the same interests and same goals. The world outside of bb just does not seem to give a crap.

    The one exercise i need to do consistently from now on is keeping my mouth shut at all times about my lifestyle changes. For once in my life i'm doing what matters to me (the only thing that ever did as i've been obese all my life) and it's like no one gives a crap!!! The hell is wrong with people?

    @OP: so sorry for hijacking your thread. I didn't realize i had so much resentment bottled up inside me about that whole issue lol, just needed to vent, i shall do it elsewhere next time. And once again all the best on your journey
    So true, and nothing makes me happier than relating to others and doing what I can to help!!

    I don't think OP will mind, shows he's not alone and we are all here for him and each other!! LOL at the mouth exercise line... that made me laugh

    Bottom line OP: Come here for your support, you will not be let down. U may get some good hard truths, and some tough criticism from time to time but that's ok, it helps us grow.

    P.S. I'm gonna keep an eye on your log, geez I haven't seen Star Trek since like the 80's, lol. Great job we will be excited to see some more results!!
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  12. #12
    Registered User fatandnotproud's Avatar
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    Captain's log, stardate 93750.59

    While on Starbase 82 a solar flare caused an outage in the whole quadrant. There was no light anywhere for over a week. Without refrigeration, our provisions and food supplies got rotten pretty quickly and we had to discard them. We also suffered from constant high temperatures of over 42C (107 F) due the solar storm and we had to resort to remain in our quarters, moving as little as possible, which limited my exercise time as I tried to survive without even cold water.

    Now that the power has been restored, I can open a subspace channel to send my log to starfleet again, plus, started working out. For the first time ever did Bench Presses and Flies; my chest feels weird. I will take the advice of Admiral NeverTilt and get myself more weight since the one I have at my quarters are already too light. The reason why he had shoulder surgery evades me, I shall ask him if it had something to do with weight lifting.

    Captain CherryGarcia says I should keep my weight loss journey and log to myself. She might be right, I have seen nothing but eyes rolling since I started. Something I read often is people saying they would not date someone who isn't committed to a healthy lifestyle as they are... always thought they were just mean spirited people rubbing their gym routine to other people's faces. Now I know why. Makes sense.

    I hope these reading my logs understand these are actual events happening in my life, not the work of fiction; though sometimes space seems quite outstanding, even for me, even after all these years.

    This is my current workout:

    DAY 1 (Mon, usually)
    Dumbbell Chest Press
    Dumbbell inclined Chest Press
    Dumbbell Lateral Rise
    Dumbbell Flies
    Dumbbell Military Press

    DAY 2 (Wed)
    Dumbbell Deadlift
    Dumbbell SkullCrushers
    Dumbbell alternate bicep curl
    Dumbbell One arm Row
    Dumbbell Concentration Curls
    Dumbbell French Press

    DAY 3 (Fri)
    Dumbbell Squats
    Dumbell glue bridge
    Dumbbell seated leg curl
    Dumbbell Lunges


    Tomorrow is Neck Shrugs, Back, Squats, dumbbell glue bridge, leg curl, dumbbell deadlift,

    Friday is Triceps, Biceps, Shoulders, Chest.

    I currently do not have a program, I am just making this stuff up from other sources. Haven't found one that has all exercises with just dumbbells.
    Last edited by fatandnotproud; 02-23-2016 at 11:19 PM.
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    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post
    Captain's log, stardate 93750.59

    While on Starbase 82 a solar flare caused an outage in the whole quadrant. There was no light anywhere for over a week. Without refrigeration, our provisions and food supplies got rotten pretty quickly and we had to discard them. We also suffered from constant high temperatures of over 42C (107 F) due the solar storm and we had to resort to remain in our quarters, moving as little as possible, which limited my exercise time as I tried to survive without even cold water.

    Now that the power has been restored, I can open a subspace channel to send my log to starfleet again, plus, started working out. For the first time ever did Bench Presses and Flies; my chest feels weird. I will take the advice of Admiral NeverTilt and get myself more weight since the one I have at my quarters are already too light. The reason why he had shoulder surgery evades me, I shall ask him if it had something to do with weight lifting.

    Captain CherryGarcia says I should keep my weight loss journey and log to myself. She might be right, I have seen nothing but eyes rolling since I started. Something I read often is people saying they would not date someone who isn't committed to a healthy lifestyle as they are... always thought they were just mean spirited people rubbing their gym routine to other people's faces. Now I know why. Makes sense.

    I hope these reading my logs understand these are actual events happening in my life, not the work of fiction; though sometimes space seems quite outstanding, even for me, even after all these years.

    This is my current workout:

    DAY 1 (Mon, usually)
    Dumbbell Chest Press
    Dumbbell inclined Chest Press
    Dumbbell Lateral Rise
    Dumbbell Flies
    Dumbbell Military Press

    DAY 2 (Wed)
    Dumbbell Deadlift
    Dumbbell SkullCrushers
    Dumbbell alternate bicep curl
    Dumbbell One arm Row
    Dumbbell Concentration Curls
    Dumbbell French Press

    DAY 3 (Fri)
    Dumbbell Squats
    Dumbell glue bridge
    Dumbbell seated leg curl
    Dumbbell Lunges


    Tomorrow is Neck Shrugs, Back, Squats, dumbbell glue bridge, leg curl, dumbbell deadlift,

    Friday is Triceps, Biceps, Shoulders, Chest.

    I currently do not have a program, I am just making this stuff up from other sources. Haven't found one that has all exercises with just dumbbells.
    Loving the writing, it takes me to another dimension! Lol at the eyerolls part, i honestly do not know what is wrong with people, when one is overweight they tell you to lose weight, when you start to lose weight they don't want to hear about it, sigh! Anyway, all of us on bb are here for ya, Glad to see you back, GJ!
    =================
    Total weight lost: 152 lbs
    =================

    Starting weight: 378.1 lbs
    Current weight: 225.8 lbs

    ******* 3 years and 3 months on keto so far - keto4life!!! ***************

    my fat loss log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=166528931
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    Captain's Log, supplemental.

    After hours and hours of research and bothering a friend who is a bodybuilder, I managed to create my own program. While it is not the best program out there, it is the best one I could come up with. It includes 50 crunches at the end of the work day and 30 min of stationary bike; the rest is all weight lifting in three separate days, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

    Since I am a writer and spend most of my day in front of the computer, I figured out why not take advantage and workout properly.

    SO MUCH WASTED TIME... eating like crap, watching tv, browsing the internet, etc. Like a fool, denying the issue was me. Somehow I came to realize that I feel more in control of my life by doing exercise than by not doing it; I was not taking myself seriously before. But not just that... no. The worst is that I wasn't thinking of myself as a man, not in the sense one would expect; there was this huge chunk of my life I neglected to take responsibility for. Work, sure. Money, sure. But not my health, nor my body. I got used to be the fat guy, the joke.

    One thing that really changed my way of looking at stuff is the invisibility we go through as fat persons. Women (in my particular case, it will be different for the opposite sex, of course) I come across with on the street don't look at me. At all. I am invisible. On the elevator, at the stairs, at the restaurant, at the mall, at the store; simply invisible. Not even doctors would look at me straight in the eye. I noticed how women look at other men, even when they are not attracted to them, they just make eye contact and smile. Humans. Not me. I am not even there and when I open my mouth, as charming as I can be, they look at me like one would look at a wall or worse, they treat me like they would treat an old person. This is the worse. The sensation of being treated like if you were old. Obsolete. Unimportant. Invisible.

    When you don't exist, you tend to withdraw yourself from the world, from social activities. It doesn't happens overnight; this is a slow, painful process we go through, one we are not even aware of at the time it is happening. Little by little, we become invisible. Day after day, week after week, month after month until one day when you least expect it, without knowing how or when, you realize you've disappeared.

    You became invisible, just like you wanted to.

    Right?

    How many of us fat people have full-body mirrors at home? Sure, we all brush our teeth at the bathroom mirror, but how many of you have these full body mirrors that show your whole body? I bet the number is pretty low, even here. We become horrified to our own reflections because we see, for the brief moment we manage to stand the image in the mirror, what other people see in us.

    Sloppy. Lazy. Ugly. Sweaty. Unattractive. Fat.

    Fat. Yes fat.

    We get to look at the monster and it smiles back at us. It smiles back knowing we won't be able to hold our ground for more than five seconds before looking away. It might happen at the restaurant toilet, it might happen in a store or on the street on our way home. But we've seen it. All of us. We can't stand ourselves, so we put our best smile around other people and pretend to be charming. Maybe that will distract them from looking at the monster, at the animal. But it doesn't. They see it too.

    "Fat people try to be funny all the time."

    No we don't. We just forget we are fat. But from time to time, the full body mirror remind us what we've become. That's why we don't have one at home. That's why some people can't stand going to the gym; it is a house of mirrors, nowhere to run there. Compare yourself to other people and then look at the beast you've become.

    Most fat people I know have though taking their own lives at some point in their lives, there's no way to deny that. Why keep going? Fat, ugly, weak.

    Been thinking about that a lot lately. Makes me want to make a time machine and punch myself right in the mouth back when I was in high school. But there is no way back, there is only forward. Only tomorrow. Like everything else in your life, you have to deal with it. It may take 6 months, one year, two, three, five, ten, it may take the rest of your life, but you are going to get there.

    Because that's what you do with the rest of the obstacles in your life; you deal with them. This is just one more stone on the road. One we neglected to deal with for too long.

    The worst enemy is the monster in the mirror. It smiles with fangs that show us the quitter there is in all of us. But that thing in the reflection, it ain't us; it is just something we used to be long time ago. A picture of a bad dream most of us need to finally wake up from.

    So wake up already. Time to reappear.

    Captain out.
    Last edited by fatandnotproud; 02-24-2016 at 10:43 PM. Reason: Grammar
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    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post
    Captain's Log, supplemental.

    After hours and hours of research and bothering a friend who is a bodybuilder, I managed to create my own program. While it is not the best program out there, it is the best one I could come up with. It includes 50 crunches at the end of the work day and 30 min of stationary bike; the rest is all weight lifting in three separate days, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

    Since I am a writer and spend most of my day in front of the computer, I figured out why not take advantage and workout properly.

    SO MUCH WASTED TIME... eating like crap, watching tv, browsing the internet, etc. Like a fool, denying the issue was me. Somehow I came to realize that I feel more in control of my life by doing exercise than by not doing it; I was not taking myself seriously before. But not just that... no. The worst is that I wasn't thinking of myself as a man, not in the sense one would expect; there was this huge chunk of my life I neglected to take responsibility for. Work, sure. Money, sure. But not my health, nor my body. I got used to be the fat guy, the joke.

    One thing that really changed my way of looking at stuff is the invisibility we go through as fat persons. Women (in my particular case, it will be different for the opposite sex, of course) I come across with on the street don't look at me. At all. I am invisible. On the elevator, at the stairs, at the restaurant, at the mall, at the store; simply invisible. Not even doctors would look at me straight in the eye. I noticed how women look at other men, even when they are not attracted to them, they just make eye contact and smile. Humans. Not me. I am not even there and when I open my mouth, as charming as I can be, they look at me like one would look at a wall or worse, they treat me like they would treat an old person. This is the worse. The sensation of being treated like if you were old. Obsolete. Unimportant. Invisible.

    When you don't exist, you tend to withdraw yourself from the world, from social activities. It doesn't happens overnight; this is a slow, painful process we go through, one we are not even aware of at the time it is happening. Little by little, we become invisible. Day after day, week after week, month after month until one day when you least expect it, without knowing how or when, you realize you've disappeared.

    You became invisible, just like you wanted to.

    Right?

    How many of us fat people have full-body mirrors at home? Sure, we all brush our teeth at the bathroom mirror, but how many of you have these full body mirrors that show your whole body? I bet the number is pretty low, even here. We become horrified to our own reflections because we see, for the brief moment we manage to stand the image in the mirror, what other people see in us.

    Sloppy. Lazy. Ugly. Sweaty. Unattractive. Fat.

    Fat. Yes fat.

    We get to look at the monster and it smiles back at us. It smiles back knowing we won't be able to hold our ground for more than five seconds before looking away. It might happen at the restaurant toilet, it might happen in a store or on the street on our way home. But we've seen it. All of us. We can't stand ourselves, so we put our best smile around other people and pretend to be charming. Maybe that will distract them from looking at the monster, at the animal. But it doesn't. They see it too.

    "Fat people try to be funny all the time."

    No we don't. We just forget we are fat. But from time to time, the full body mirror remind us what we've become. That's why we don't have one at home. That's why some people can't stand going to the gym; it is a house of mirrors, nowhere to run there. Compare yourself to other people and then look at the beast you've become.

    Most fat people I know have though taking their own lives at some point in their lives, there's no way to deny that. Why keep going? Fat, ugly, weak.

    Been thinking about that a lot lately. Makes me want to make a time machine and punch myself right in the mouth back when I was in high school. But there is no way back, there is only forward. Only tomorrow. Like everything else in your life, you have to deal with it. It may take 6 months, one year, two, three, five, ten, it may take the rest of your life, but you are going to get there.

    Because that's what you do with the rest of the obstacles in your life; you deal with them. This is just one more stone on the road. One we neglected to deal with for too long.

    The worst enemy is the monster in the mirror. It smiles with fangs that show us the quitter there is in all of us. But that thing in the reflection, it ain't us; it is just something we used to be long time ago. A picture of a bad dream most of us need to finally wake up from.

    So wake up already. Time to reappear.

    Captain out.
    I can't even begin to explain just how much I identify with your post...I almost could have written it myself. At 378 pounds I was completely ignored by the world, treated as if i didn't exist to the point that i just completely retreated and became a hermit, I wouldn't even look people in the eye when i would talk to them (i still do that), and i look down when i walk not wanting people to look at me, the monster.

    I have lost 100 pounds yes, but i am short 5ft, so it takes loosing a whole lot of weight for it to show, plus at my height and current weight it means i am still just another morbidly obese person on the street and so the story continues, I am still ignored by the world, just to a slightly lesser degree. They don't know the hard work and effort that have gone into my journey. But I have to say since loosing some weight I am beginning to notice that people are abit friendlier, smile more and make small talk abit more....and i just want to scream at them and tell them that i'm the same person who they averted their eyes from as if i was some kind of a monster. It's crazy just how shallow society is, it's really sad actually. And I still get the odd random douchebag every now and again decide to voice their opinion loudly but thankfully those are becoming fewer and far between. Afew months ago I went to help an old lady carry her bags up a ramp (she was really struggling), this crazy old b!tch (pardon my french), started to yell really loud at how she doesn't need help instead it is I who need help because of how disgustingly fat I am (or some stupid sh!t like that), I couldn't believe it, i literally ran down that ramp praying no one had a heard or seen even though i know others did (it was a mall and i was from the gym feeling ontop of the world only for her to completely make me feel like sh!t). I have since learnt to use such incidences of douchebaggery as motivation...and it works, not letting them win because for the first time in my life I am doing this for me and my health and no one else, I will win this fight dammit!

    I am going through a point in my life where when i look in the mirror, all i see is me at my highest weight...yep i hate mirrors too because when i look into them i only see my weight and imperfections. I really am beginning on my journey of self acceptance but it as a painfully slow and difficult process. Even now when people compliment me i think "they're lying" sigh!

    In case you haven't stumbled upon this epic thread (which i read a couple of pages almost daily) it's the "were you treated differently after having lost weight thread" it is full of thousands and thousands of peoples stories who lost a crapload of weight and documenting their experiences. I am doing this weightloss journey for me but the stories in the thread never cease to amaze me just how much weight determines how you get treated in life, which is so downright sad and unfair...but the transformation stories themselves are very inspiring and so i keep reading on whenever i'm down or feeling low. http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...98532&page=263

    Somehow i always seem to end up rambling on in your log lol. Thanks for your honest post, it really resonated with me. Let's keep fighting this fight!!!
    =================
    Total weight lost: 152 lbs
    =================

    Starting weight: 378.1 lbs
    Current weight: 225.8 lbs

    ******* 3 years and 3 months on keto so far - keto4life!!! ***************

    my fat loss log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=166528931
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    Friday Log

    Captain's Log, Supplemental.

    My week ended ok, MYFP it says I will be 138kg in five weeks. I remember when it said I will be 153kg in 5 weeks, back when I was 165kg. I remember when it said I was going to be 148kg, back when I was 153kg.

    It never lies. I will be 138kg in 5 weeks! Then I guess 120kg or something like that, then 100kg and then 90kg. That's it. I will be in my regular weight in less than eight months.

    Is that even possible?
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    Captain's log, Stardate 93774.64.

    We are in route to Malara's IV, a small space colony within the border of the Neutral Zone after a small Federation cargo vessel caught a distress call from the colonists. According to their transmission, a strange infection is apparently putting the colonists in a strange form of stasis. Hopefully, we will get there in time to help their medical team to solve the mystery.

    As my weight lifting training and new lifestyle rapidly progresses, I've lost 1,5KG (3.3 pounds) in the last 9 days. I now weight 145 KG (319 lbs). My starting weight was 165kg (363 lbs) so I've lost around 19 KG (41 pounds) of fat and gained some extremely useful muscles. Tomorrow is leg day and I plan to get myself a good workout with lots of squats and calf exercises.
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  19. #19
    Forever Cutting TheNormalMan's Avatar
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    Hey buddy, glad you decided to make a change in your life. It's the best thing you will ever do and trust me, it's worth every bit of effort you put forward.

    I do agree and also somewhat disagree with your post on being really overfat and how society treats you in general.

    Now, keep in mind, I'm from the same camp you're in, I used to be super socially withdrawn, I still am now, and was back when I used to be a lot heavier.

    I believe a lot of this has to do with confidence in yourself and how you view yourself in general.

    When you're in shape, on top of all aspects of your life, it's easy to be confident, feel like it's all going how it should be and when you're not, it's easy to let the world knock you down.

    The thing you have to realize is that even if you drop the weight, you have to change how you think.

    Changing the physical is easy, you reduce calories, lift some heavy crap up, and it changes. That's just the way it works.

    But reprogramming the way you think, the way you view yourself, the way you view the world, and ultimately how the world will view you, comes down to you.

    It is not an easy process and even years later, I still haven't got it worked out yet, but it can be done.

    On the same token, I don't believe that body size necessarily plays the entire factor in how we treat ourselves and the way the world views us.

    I know plenty of people that need to lose weight, yet they have more confidence than I've ever had even when I've been at my peak both physically and mentally.

    For some of us, I think it's just in our nature to be more withdrawn and inwardly focused than others. That's what I've come to realize over the years.

    Best of luck on your journey.
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    Originally Posted by TheNormalMan View Post
    Hey buddy, glad you decided to make a change in your life. It's the best thing you will ever do and trust me, it's worth every bit of effort you put forward.

    I do agree and also somewhat disagree with your post on being really overfat and how society treats you in general.

    Now, keep in mind, I'm from the same camp you're in, I used to be super socially withdrawn, I still am now, and was back when I used to be a lot heavier.

    I believe a lot of this has to do with confidence in yourself and how you view yourself in general.

    When you're in shape, on top of all aspects of your life, it's easy to be confident, feel like it's all going how it should be and when you're not, it's easy to let the world knock you down.

    The thing you have to realize is that even if you drop the weight, you have to change how you think.

    Changing the physical is easy, you reduce calories, lift some heavy crap up, and it changes. That's just the way it works.

    But reprogramming the way you think, the way you view yourself, the way you view the world, and ultimately how the world will view you, comes down to you.

    It is not an easy process and even years later, I still haven't got it worked out yet, but it can be done.

    On the same token, I don't believe that body size necessarily plays the entire factor in how we treat ourselves and the way the world views us.

    I know plenty of people that need to lose weight, yet they have more confidence than I've ever had even when I've been at my peak both physically and mentally.

    For some of us, I think it's just in our nature to be more withdrawn and inwardly focused than others. That's what I've come to realize over the years.

    Best of luck on your journey.
    Hi pal,

    Yes, generally speaking, you are right. I do feel the world knocks me down more than it should because of my metal mindset, but it is also true people threat overweight people different, even with disdain. I don't think it is because they "hate" fat people, I believe it is because they don't know how to react around them; same deal than with a handicapped person, they don't know "what to look" or "how to look" at them, they don't know how to speak to them, they don't know or feel comfortable around them either. It takes time for regular people to get around noticeable differences in others, and being fat is a big noticeable difference that many people have, but not everyone is used to.

    That and the assumptions one makes from a noticeable difference. In case of fat people, that they are lazy, easily pushed around, etc. When they meet someone fit, they immediately make good assumptions about that person, but when they meet someone fat, they make the worst ones.

    THAT SAID, being fat is not a disability (I didn't just, fell and became fat). Being fat is simply us neglecting a healthy lifestyle, that's all. We were lazy, we were dumb, we needed a slap in the face we never had.

    Confidence plays a big part in life, you are right. I hope it gets easier to be more confident when I reach my ideal weight.

    Thanks for the support!
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    Captains Log, emergency entry.

    I am GAINING weight. I started off with 165kg, then went down to 145kg, now I'm back up to 146.6kg! I gained weight! What the hell! I am under my calorie level, EVERY DAY. I exercise 3 times a week (weights, never cardio) and I am now gaining weight.

    This is wrong. I'm freaking out. It has been two weeks already. I'm freaking OUT MAN! I'M FREAKING OUT.

    The only change I introduced to my diet is eating Quaker Honey Graham Snack Mix with dehydrated milk every morning. Strange thing is, that thing says it has 0 fat, 0 cholesterol, etc. It says it only has like 140cal per serving (1/2 a cup) and some protein, which I though necessary for my muscle building.

    I will proceed to cut down these from my breakfast, and I don't know, drink tea and eat some light snack under 300 cal.

    Maybe I was eating 500-600 or perhaps 800 cal in that Quaker Honey Graham Snack Mix crap and I never realized.
    Last edited by fatandnotproud; 03-14-2016 at 01:30 PM.
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    Captain's Log, supplementary entry.

    After a couple of days working out and eating properly, my weight went back to 145.5kg. The issue was the lack of proper measurement when serving portions (I know own a small digital scale for my food) and the fact that I added milk to my diet, which bloated me. The crew rest at ease now that the captain is back on track.

    As an additional note, I added stationary bike to my training, at the very end of my routine. 20 minutes of HIIT makes me extremely agile and helps me finish the routine. I am probably not doing exercise at my best, since I wasn't doing my nutrition to my best either, but it is better than sitting in to couch all day and not doing anything.

    The weight is going down, the muscles are showing up, the manboobs are still there reminding me what happens when you let yourself go.

    I had to fight the urge of eating french fries today, they were sitting right in front of me and called my name in all kind of languages. They whispered to me sexy words of leisure. They sang the song of sirens for about three minutes before I walked away with my honor intact.

    I had a very light lunch. So did the crew.

    We live another day.

    === End of Transmission ===
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    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post
    Captain's Log, supplementary entry.

    After a couple of days working out and eating properly, my weight went back to 145.5kg. The issue was the lack of proper measurement when serving portions (I know own a small digital scale for my food) and the fact that I added milk to my diet, which bloated me. The crew rest at ease now that the captain is back on track.

    As an additional note, I added stationary bike to my training, at the very end of my routine. 20 minutes of HIIT makes me extremely agile and helps me finish the routine. I am probably not doing exercise at my best, since I wasn't doing my nutrition to my best either, but it is better than sitting in to couch all day and not doing anything.

    The weight is going down, the muscles are showing up, the manboobs are still there reminding me what happens when you let yourself go.

    I had to fight the urge of eating french fries today, they were sitting right in front of me and called my name in all kind of languages. They whispered to me sexy words of leisure. They sang the song of sirens for about three minutes before I walked away with my honor intact.

    I had a very light lunch. So did the crew.

    We live another day.

    === End of Transmission ===
    woot woot! Glad to see all is well again Weighing food can be as annoying as heck at the beginning but it gets better with time.
    =================
    Total weight lost: 152 lbs
    =================

    Starting weight: 378.1 lbs
    Current weight: 225.8 lbs

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    Captain's Emergency log, Stardate 93826.81.

    I've been sick since Sunday. I have a bad cold, bad bad cold. The ship's doctor gave me some antibiotics but they only work after three days, so I've been feeling extremely sick. My throat is burning right now, hope to get better by the end of the week. In addition to my current condition, I had the brilliant idea of doing squats on Friday. I haven't been able to walk since then, not in the same way. My hamstrings are sore beyond belief, but little by little, as the week goes by, I am feeling better.

    Because of my sickness and because of my leg pain, I haven't been able to workout this week, which has impacted severely in my new lifestyle. I know I will resume my workout routine in the ship's hollodeck this Friday or next Monday, but it has been a shock of reality to me: how in HELL I WENT BY MY WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT WORKING OUT? Now it feels...unnatural not doing so.

    Captain FatandNotProud out.

    ==== END OF TRANSMISSION ======
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    Captain's Log, supplementary.

    I couldn't wait until Friday, I just worked out today. I did my chest day and then 20 minutes of stationary bike, HIIT. I feel great now! How amazing what some exercise can do for you. While I was doing my routine I did noticed my brother kind of....uncomfortable around me, to the point he got up and left the room. Not sure if he was jealous, or afraid of me reaching my goals and becoming fit again. He can't do weights cause he messed his arm working, so I'm not sure what's up with him, but every time I start my workout and he is around there are comments like "you might hurt yourself." Discouragement comments.

    It even reached the point where, when I was doing my HIIT exercise with the stationary bike, he stopped by and offered me to eat dinner (!!!).

    To hell with him anyway. I kept pushing and finished my routine. Welcome to the limit.

    Side note: I lost 4.4 pounds since last week. Feeling strong. Feeling sexy.

    ==== END OF TRANSMISSION ====
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    I so love your update format! And look at your progress.

    I, too, have had that sabotage element in my life. Originally, it was my husband. He was "naturally" skinny and looking back, I think he pushed food and treats on me in this "oh go ahead! You deserve it! Let's have fun!" and then when I ballooned (I wasn't paying attention and I was not huge when I married him) THEN he constantly abused me about the way I looked and then ANY time I tried to fix it or address it he would sabotage like no one's business.

    He's long gone though (thank goodness) and isn't it interesting that as soon as I was free of him, I dropped over 100 pounds? Hmmm.

    Anyway. My mother is the other one BUT I don't think her "sabotage" has any element of malice to it. It's more of a thing that she equates love with food and pushes food to show her love. She's finally getting the message after one night having dinner with her, she tried to push an extra helping on my plate. I told her I didn't want it and suggested she should have it if she was SO worried about it "going to waste". She said she was "full" (and why is this not legit when I say it???) and then she actually walked over from the stove and said, "Here!" and put the last of the food on my plate. She completely ignored me! I was furious (inside) and had finally had enough so I took my plate and dumped it onto HERS and said, "I am full. YOU eat it. You save it. You throw it away. But I am full and have had enough and YOU need to respect that."

    She was/acted really "hurt" but I stuck to my guns and now she's sort of eased off.

    One thing I did do, was I took her to the naturopath/nutritionist with me and got her involved and NOW she is trying to be super supportive because the nutritionist is telling her what I need and she is listening to her. I could let that bother me but I just decided whichever way to get her on my side, I'll do it.

    I think "including" her and giving her another way to show her love and support helped HER stop equating whether or not I ate her food with whether or not I loved her.

    Now, if I can just get her to stop making "that face" when I make time for the gym or a workout, we will be gold

    You go with your sexy self! Looking forward to following your progress!
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    Originally Posted by fatandnotproud View Post
    Captain's Log, supplementary.

    I couldn't wait until Friday, I just worked out today. I did my chest day and then 20 minutes of stationary bike, HIIT. I feel great now! How amazing what some exercise can do for you. While I was doing my routine I did noticed my brother kind of....uncomfortable around me, to the point he got up and left the room. Not sure if he was jealous, or afraid of me reaching my goals and becoming fit again. He can't do weights cause he messed his arm working, so I'm not sure what's up with him, but every time I start my workout and he is around there are comments like "you might hurt yourself." Discouragement comments.

    It even reached the point where, when I was doing my HIIT exercise with the stationary bike, he stopped by and offered me to eat dinner (!!!).

    To hell with him anyway. I kept pushing and finished my routine. Welcome to the limit.

    Side note: I lost 4.4 pounds since last week. Feeling strong. Feeling sexy.

    ==== END OF TRANSMISSION ====
    Crazy stuff with your brother....i will never understand why people would want to sabotage the efforts of one trying to get into good health! But you just keep doing this for you, a 4.4pound drop is excellent!

    I am also currently beginning to experience cold treatment from people who are supposed to be my friends, almost as if me trying to lose weight means i'm "better" than them or something, i don't know on what planet that logic makes sense....because i'm doing this to stay alive for years to come, either they are for me or they are against me...and if they are against me then I want nothing to do with them sigh.

    @Jenny: Wow, well done to you for managing to break off from a toxic relationship! Nothing worse than sabotage from someone who is supposed to be there for you for better or for worse.
    =================
    Total weight lost: 152 lbs
    =================

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    I totally agree. It's my understanding after talking to some psychology types that most of those that sabotage do it because they feel bad about themselves.

    When you/we workout and start eating better then start feeling better...we are happier!

    So they react by trying to make us unhappy again so they won't be alone in their unhappiness.

    If they can get us to stop and have that cookie or not go workout THEN they can sit back and say, "See? Why should I bother...it's too hard." BUT when we do those things they feel guilty or jealous because maybe they don't have the will power to stick with it. Easier to sabotage us than get their a$$ into the gym.

    Keep in mind that most of this happens on a subconscious level and many aren't aware of why they are doing it to us and would probably deny it if confronted.

    But it's something to expect and be aware of. But try not to take it too personally as that person is ultimately trying to distract themselves with how unhappy they are with themselves by sabotaging us.

    AND, even if the person (in our eyes) is thin or good looking, it doesn't mean THEY see themselves that way.

    *shrugs* Like you said, this is for US and I truly look at it like I am saving my life. So I tend to lead with that if I have to address someone about it. The nice thing about the chemo is before, people sort of looked down their nose when I had my "restricted" diet. NOW I just say, "Yeah...on this special diet after the chemo" and suddenly they are "ok" with it. Weird but I'll roll with it.
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    Originally Posted by JennyBond View Post
    I totally agree. It's my understanding after talking to some psychology types that most of those that sabotage do it because they feel bad about themselves.

    When you/we workout and start eating better then start feeling better...we are happier!

    So they react by trying to make us unhappy again so they won't be alone in their unhappiness.

    If they can get us to stop and have that cookie or not go workout THEN they can sit back and say, "See? Why should I bother...it's too hard." BUT when we do those things they feel guilty or jealous because maybe they don't have the will power to stick with it. Easier to sabotage us than get their a$$ into the gym.

    Keep in mind that most of this happens on a subconscious level and many aren't aware of why they are doing it to us and would probably deny it if confronted.

    But it's something to expect and be aware of. But try not to take it too personally as that person is ultimately trying to distract themselves with how unhappy they are with themselves by sabotaging us.

    AND, even if the person (in our eyes) is thin or good looking, it doesn't mean THEY see themselves that way.

    *shrugs* Like you said, this is for US and I truly look at it like I am saving my life. So I tend to lead with that if I have to address someone about it. The nice thing about the chemo is before, people sort of looked down their nose when I had my "restricted" diet. NOW I just say, "Yeah...on this special diet after the chemo" and suddenly they are "ok" with it. Weird but I'll roll with it.
    @Lieutenant Jenny,

    The format its standard Starfleet regulation, I'm just following the rule book! Well done on handling that situation with your mother, I will put in a good word for you with Admiral Blackwell when we get to Starbase. For me, I've never feel better than this year. It is Holidays here in my country, so I kept away from the gym just in case I get injured during training (you won't get too far with the ER staff during holidays here, better to be safe than sorry) but I'm already planning a strong comeback next week. Thursday was gold though, chest workout was amazing.

    Also, about "the face", I know what you mean. Hurts every time. Stay strong!



    @Ensign Cherry,

    Thanks for the support! Don't worry about the cold treatment from these kind of people, it is probably what Lieutenant Jenny said, they are doing it at a subconscious level. That being said, some people are not doing it at a subconscious level, they are well aware of their actions and consequences. My take is they got used seeing the monster around and don't want that to change.

    How often that people make changes in their lives? 9 out of 10, not very often. They want things to stay just the same so they can be comfortable.



    @Lieutenant Jenny & @Ensign Cherry
    its kind of funny to see people in shape who normally do nothing for their health talk down those who are trying HARD to be at a healthy weight. These people eat pizza, donuts, burgers, etc and they keep their weight within normal boundaries. Most of the time it is because they are young, so they see us and start babbling about how we are supposed to control ourselves in front of food (which they have never done before, since they eat everything they want). They even have the nerve to tell us "well, that is because you never move from that couch/desk" or "that is because you don't exercise, bum" like if they knew the inside of a gym or what a rep is (which, of course, they don't, cause the only iron they lift is a fork).

    They never had to go through what we are going through, for as long as they remember, weight has never been an issue in their lives. So we must just, stuff ourselves with everything we find at the fridge, right? That's our problem, we eat too much. Like pigs. We should live in a farm, not in a house. They find it easy to be in shape, they just... don't eat like they suppose we eat.

    To them, to be in shape, is easy. Period.

    Today.

    Tomorrow, its a whole different story. For those of us old enough to see friends, coworkers, family and regular people grow old like us (34yrs here) things definitely change with time. I began to see how these kind of people, the "normal" people, the kind that never had problems with their weight and always had everything they wanted on their plates, woke one day realizing they also had been starting to "put on a little weight lately".

    Maybe they would blame it on XMAS or to that office party last month, or maybe the blame would go to that last kid they popped a couple of years ago. But they definitely see they are beginning to change. That mirror is not the same anymore. The beast is starting to show its teeth. Same teeth we all know here, no need to dwell on that. We've seen the beast in the mirror. Sure looks ugly, isn't it?

    How strange. Without warning. From nowhere. How can it be? They have always been fit! They are getting fat and they don't know why.

    Sorcery.

    They panic. In their desperation (a very, very cautious desperation) they ask us, the fat folks from the hills, experts in the matters of nutrition why what is happening is happening. "How can it be?"

    After all, they have been doing the same thing they always had, aren't they? They have not changed their diet. Well, maybe just a bit. So after a small chat they began to convince themselves that things aren't as desperate like they seem. "That it is not going to happen to me" they say, and for "that" they mean us).

    Nah, not to them. They have control. They are not us. We eat like pigs, rolling naked on the floor with everything that was in the fridge. Not them, they are normal people, not "fat".

    Fat people eat anything they feel like without any sort of control or shame and don't move their butt even if their houses were on fire. Disgusting.

    But them? Oh no, not them. They are the normal people, they have been counting calories and exercising 3 to 6 times a week for about 2-3 hours for the past 20 years to be in shape....

    ....right?

    RIGHT?

    "I will just start walking to the office" they say out loud, like if by saying it you could make it happen. MAYBE they commit to the idea and do it. MAYBE.

    For a day. Maybe for two. Perhaps for a week or something like that. Not much more than that. "I don't really need it. It won't add up."

    Then you see them again, six months from now. They are twice what they used to be. "Its just part of life, we get older, we get fat. It happens to everyone. Have you seen Arnold? If he is fat, I'm fat too. I will just cut down on the bread and that's it, will be back in shape by summer. Not like you fatso, you will be rolling your way to work for the rest of your days. Me? I exercised in high school."

    So that beautiful blonde, naturally fit you saw at the office will slowly turn into another fat person. Same with that guy from the coffee shop. He looks fit now, cause he is 26. She looks great at 25, doesn't she? And she barely walks to work. He used to do some sports back in high school. She used to run, back when she was twenty.

    But he is not doing these sports now. Neither is she. Finding time is difficult they say. Both pushing thirty eight.

    "I have to work for a living."

    "I have kids."

    "I'm not that fat. I'm not you."

    "Can't join a gym, are you crazy? I barely have any time for myself. Besides, gyms are for these weirdos who like to watch themselves while lifting heavy stuff. I'm not like that. I'm normal."

    Want to know what's the difference between them and us? That we were fat before, but we are slowly becoming fit now. When we reach our destination, Sexy Town (TM), each one of us, we WILL be fit. I know that now, I have seen the evidence, so did everyone lurking this forum. It only takes time and dedication; that's all it takes, and we are willing to invest both. We ARE investing both.

    But they? These ones who point us on our way to work? These who laugh at us at our backs for "trying" (we are not trying, we are making it happen), they have never made this kind of sacrifice. Until now I though they were the ones blessed. Now I understand life a little better. They will slowly gain weight and there will be nothing (free, fast, easy) they can do to stop it.

    Slowly gaining weight. We have all been there, haven't we? It sucks. Its hell. Now, we are not there anymore. We are in a different kind of train, we are slowly LOOSING weight (expensive, slow, hard).

    Whatever we leave behind, they will pick up and stuff themselves with.

    It almost feel as if the universe was smiling at us. A big nasty grin full of teeth that says...


    HA-HA-HA!
    Last edited by fatandnotproud; 03-27-2016 at 05:01 AM.
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    Captain's Log, Stardate 93882.11

    According to the ship's doctor I went down to 142kg (313 lbs), that means I got rid of 8 more pounds. The only thing that is worrying me is that I am not gaining muscles.

    I went online (so 1999) and discovered the issue with my muscles gains is this:

    Back when I was 165kg (364 lbs) I was eating like a pig, so I was way, WAY above my calorie deficit. I pulled some weights and boom, biceps. Like a bull. Then I started to cut, to diet, to make adjustments in my lifestyle to the point where I cannot go back to eat 5000, 6000 or who knows how many calories I was eating.

    I now count every damn calorie and I'm proud of it. I can live like this for the rest of my life and it will be a good life. I eat healthy, I exercise, I made it my life.

    To gain muscle, I will have to eat at least 4700 calories per day instead of the 1800 I am currently consuming.

    So my thoughts are, will keep the weight lifting to I don't know, maintain muscle? Then will wait until I am at least 100 kg (200 pounds) to start bulking up again and have some more muscles, then will drop again to 100 kg.

    There is also another way in which I am supposed to eat like pig on weight lifting days and eat normal (under calorie deficit) on my non weight lifting days, but I don't trust Internet experiments, so I will just wait like a good boy.

    Hope everyone is having a blast loosing weight!
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