Question for those in the age 30 - 35 range...

[FriendOfFrank]

Let me clue you crazy men into a little known fact....Do you know how boring a date with a lawyer is?! Omg shoot me now! Most guys with money are BORING LOL!! And doctors forget it! All they talk about it surgery and so-in-so's disease no thanx! So yea money is not the issue guys. Its behavior more then anything, grown ass men acting like 15yr olds. Here are some quotes from a really great article the men here who think you should date "younger" will never read.

Amelia, 28, wrote: "I see lots of men online over 35 who are looking for women 18-30. I wish they knew how big a turn-off that is. If you can't handle your peers, then you can't handle me."

"It's not that women our own age are less attractive, it's that they lack the culturally-based power to reassure our fragile, aging egos that we are still hot and hip and filled with potential." (written by a man btw)

Her sentiments jive with the OK Cupid data that shows that most women over 35 want to date men who are their same age. But that same data shows that men fight the same "slow slide" with frantic denial, a denial that manifests itself in a compulsive need to pursue women substantially younger than themselves, all the while pleading to be seen as atypical for their age. (Lmfao!)

and there you have it! Yall just got dissed btw.

I normally don't waste negs on obvious trolls, but it's the weekend and I don't misc much on the weekend, so I had some plenty to spare.

[Kev1972]

How I behave on here, and how I behave IRL are two totally different things. I'm actually pretty quiet and shy IRL.

A lot of the guys I have dated have had very attractive young girlfriends. They just like that I lift, that I'm nicer, etc. One would just want to talk about his bodybuilding career all of the time. He couldn't do that with his ex-girlfriend who was pretty, but didn't know a barbell from a dumbbell.

My husband is a good looking guy with a great career, he just doesn't like lifting at all and I like muscles. I've tried to make a compromise but he says "those who lift have no imagination", so he's thin and fast as a runner, and that is important to him. I wouldn't want him to lift just to increase my attraction.

and so were these guys who took me out. They just could see that I was still attached to my husband in some way so they figured why bother. And honestly they all had some major baggage too, so it just made me decide that well pretty much everyone over 30 has some baggage, it's just whether you are willing to deal with it or not.

You aren't single. Any man with any kind of moral compass wouldn't give you the time of day. You date extremely low quality men.

[XRebel]

I normally don't waste negs on obvious trolls, but it's the weekend and I don't misc much on the weekend, so I had some plenty to spare.

did i strike a nerve lol?

[deadliftbrah19]

You aren't single. Any man with any kind of moral compass wouldn't give you the time of day. You date extremely low quality men.

That's what has surprised me. I tell men that I'm in a sexless marriage up front ALWAYS because for some men they say it's against their religion, and I respect them. I would feel terrible if I made a Christian or Jewish man sin without him knowing up front. I have no idea why I would attract Harvard/Cornell educated, attractive men with muscles who could easily pull 8s and 9s.

I'm guessing it's because I work in hi tech and lift, but I don't know, I'm lost. Before I started lifting in 2010, I did not attract as many hot men in their 20s. Some yes, but definitely 1-3 points below in the rating scale for looks and future earning power.

A man with a moral compass could ask me to leave my unhappy marriage for him, but they don't It's not like the movies.

Anyhow, I've been celibate for a month and using the time to figure out marriage counseling or divorce.

For the OP, I think the pickiest women are in the 18-22 age group from what I read on here. Obviously women over 30 are going to not want a male model as much but more of a equal provider in terms of income, someone who is there for her emotionally, someone who is good with her children (because most single women over 30 will have children).

[Kev1972]

A man with a moral compass could ask me to leave my unhappy marriage for him, but they don't It's not like the movies.

That's what you don't seem to get.

No, they won't.

They see you as a cheating whore and want absolutely nothing to do with you.

The men you attract are low quality men who will sleep with anything they can get their dick in. I don't care where they were educated or how much they make. They are desperate and insecure, like you.

[FriendOfFrank]

did i strike a nerve lol?

Doesn't apply to me personally, since I don't date younger women, or at all. It just comes across as femenist propaganda to try and shame men that do choose to date younger women.

And I've known plenty of Doctors who are interesting people. Can't say the same for lawyers, so I guess I agree with you on something :/

[deadliftbrah19]

That's what you don't seem to get.

No, they won't.

They see you as a cheating whore and want absolutely nothing to do with you.

The men you attract are low quality men who will sleep with anything they can get their dick in. I don't care where they were educated or how much they make. They are desperate and insecure, like you.

Then how do so many women monkey branch in marriages? I see it happen all of the time. Married woman has an affair, then leaves her husband for the affair partner. Granted, those fail in 95% of the cases.

Well that isn't very nice calling us desperate and insecure. Right now I'm celibate and working to change my life. I thought I had the best of both worlds -- the stability of a marriage and ability to see my child daily, and a single life to meet sexy men for drinks and pretend that I'm single in my head as an escape from a bad marriage. But now I realize that life led to a life of misery for everyone involved.

Not to mention I felt like a phony, like Princess Diana putting on a front of a happy marriage but both she and her husband had affairs.

[loverunners]

What about if I'm in a highly-paid blue-collar occupation?



So you believe my moment may come between the ages of 30 - 45?

ehh, blue collar isn't a make or break deal, but idk, more academic professions are more appealing. really, money isn't everything but if you have a specific passion for what you do, you can reveal how smart and interesting you are, like if you can demonstrate specific knowledge in things. it's just that white collar professions allow people to do this more easily. even then, it's not a huge deal, as men are valued for hard work in general.

and yeah, guys can hit their primes in their 30's-40's if they take care of themselves (i.e. no beer gut basically). you don't even have to be cut or anything like that. just dress well and carry yourself confidently

[deadliftbrah19]

That's what you don't seem to get.

No, they won't.

They see you as a cheating whore and want absolutely nothing to do with you.

The men you attract are low quality men who will sleep with anything they can get their dick in. I don't care where they were educated or how much they make. They are desperate and insecure, like you.

A lot of the men over 30 I explain we are in a sexless marriage, and they understand as many of them were towards the end of their divorce. I just can't date them openly and my schedule only allows one night a week to see anyone.

So if I divorce, force my daughter to go back and forth between 2 homes, causing her mental distress, then I won't be seen as a cheating whore to quality men? Sounds like my daughter is the one who suffers the most for a quality stepfather.

She even told her therapist that her worst fear is mommy and daddy divorcing. She told me numerous times she wants us to work things out and get back together.

[Kev1972]

A lot of the men over 30 I explain we are in a sexless marriage, and they understand as many of them were towards the end of their divorce. I just can't date them openly and my schedule only allows one night a week to see anyone.

So if I divorce, force my daughter to go back and forth between 2 homes, causing her mental distress, then I won't be seen as a cheating whore to quality men? Sounds like my daughter is the one who suffers the most for a quality stepfather.

She even told her therapist that her worst fear is mommy and daddy divorcing. She told me numerous times she wants us to work things out and get back together.

If you and your husband were to separate and each find people that you connect with you don't think your child would be happier? You think she would rather come home to see mom spread eagled on the living room floor with some kid a couple years older than her?

[XRebel]

Doesn't apply to me personally, since I don't date younger women, or at all. It just comes across as femenist propaganda to try and shame men that do choose to date younger women.

And I've known plenty of Doctors who are interesting people. Can't say the same for lawyers, so I guess I agree with you on something :/

Lol progress yay!

I'm not trying to shame anyone, but sometimes ppl don't see whats actually hurting them or they're chances or whatever. When you free yourself from all of societies expectations and bull crap life is soooo much better! Actually what really bugs me is when guys who are like early 20's look at women for their "mother" potential....like huh? Your 20 something go have fun! Its kinda crazy that men have developed a whats it called?? Paternal clock? It used to be women at that age eager for a family now its men because they don't want to have kids in H.S at like 50. Which is understandable but I see so many go after that goal the totally wrong way.

And for the record being a feminist is a good thing. If you had (or have) a daughter you'd want her to stick up for her rights, right? We owe a lot to those women back in the 60's and 70's and people have forgotten that due to this "negative" thing that's attached itself to women's rights recently. Its just kind of sad to me, its not about stomping on men, its about women being true to who they are. I feel like as a society we are moving backward and its just really scary from a woman's perspective...sorry to go all off topic but this is important. Sigh. Someones going to hate on this I know they are. But its fine we chicks are used to it, we're tougher then you think.

(p.s i'm cool with like tv gore but hearing about surgery is really not ok on a date! haha!)

[loverunners]

Doesn't apply to me personally, since I don't date younger women, or at all. It just comes across as femenist propaganda to try and shame men that do choose to date younger women.

And I've known plenty of Doctors who are interesting people. Can't say the same for lawyers, so I guess I agree with you on something :/

dated a lawyer, he used to race motorcycles, had vintage swords, and spoke 6 different languages. had fun the whole time.


#notalllaywers

[FitCross]

ehh, blue collar isn't a make or break deal, but idk, more academic professions are more appealing. really, money isn't everything but if you have a specific passion for what you do, you can reveal how smart and interesting you are, like if you can demonstrate specific knowledge in things. it's just that white collar professions allow people to do this more easily. even then, it's not a huge deal, as men are valued for hard work in general.

I work in a field almost nobody seems to work in that pays well. Looks like I have that going for me. I also spend a lot of time studying, so, ironically, it gives me a whole lot to talk about and I can offer something other than just opinions.

and yeah, guys can hit their primes in their 30's-40's if they take care of themselves (i.e. no beer gut basically). you don't even have to be cut or anything like that. just dress well and carry yourself confidently

I'm 29 (turning 30 this year) and I still look 24 or so.

[deadliftbrah19]

If you and your husband were to separate and each find people that you connect with you don't think your child would be happier? You think she would rather come home to see mom spread eagled on the living room floor with some kid a couple years older than her?

She doesn't see it that way. She sees it as having to spent 1/2 of her time and go back and forth between houses, and she said that she talked with other kids at school who had divorced parents. They told her they missed their Dads and generally were unhappy at the arrangment.

I have no clue why my husband hasn't divorced me. I've been waiting for years for him to serve me papers. He threatened it after the 24 year old was caught in our house.

My husband is a great guy, we met when I was 15 and have a lot in common (share an awesome daughter, both athletes, both work for the same company). I lost attraction for him when he refused to lift weights and I felt that I was 2nd to soccer, so he told me to go play tennis instead so he could play soccer 5 nights a week. I resented and complained to my Mom instead of him, which was immature. idk if a miracle could path that up.

She has seen her Dad date other Moms from her school, and it's confusing to her. I at least tried to keep it to guys we didn't know, except the gym front desk guy ( and that was a BAD decision because he opened his mouth to the world).

[kimm4]

If you are a guy in the 30-35 range I hope you're dating 25-30 year olds. I'm 26 and have always been with girls few years younger then me. If I'm still single at 30 I Hope to be dating 25 -28 year old females

I would tend to agree with this. I don't see any guy's 30-35 having problems with dating younger or older, all depending on your preference.

OP also made a comment about losing attractiveness at that age and I don't agree with that. I think men that age are quite attractive.

Keep doing what you're doing!

[XRebel]

dated a lawyer, he used to race motorcycles, had vintage swords, and spoke 6 different languages. had fun the whole time.


#notalllaywers

well that sounds like a pretty cool lawyer!! Idk all the ones I dated were like no expression lol, just speaking from my own experience. But then again I do tend to go for the guy who likes to jump off cliffs lol so maybe thats why! Or maybe what this entire thread boils down to is we are all different lol and we all like something different. not that crazy of an idea!

[loverunners]

well that sounds like a pretty cool lawyer!! Idk all the ones I dated were like no expression lol, just speaking from my own experience. But then again I do tend to go for the guy who likes to jump off cliffs lol so maybe thats why! Or maybe what this entire thread boils down to is we are all different lol and we all like something different. not that crazy of an idea!

he worked in immigration and also had a career before becoming a lawyer, so I think that made him appear more relaxed and less uptight.

[loverunners]

I work in a field almost nobody seems to work in that pays well. Looks like I have that going for me. I also spend a lot of time studying, so, ironically, it gives me a whole lot to talk about and I can offer something other than just opinions.



I'm 29 (turning 30 this year) and I still look 24 or so.

you'll be fine then, just stay confident, curious, and healthy. men do get better with age, as long as they're not total hedonists.

[demfeelsbro]

In my 30's dating a girl 10 years younger. Wouldn't girlfriend up a women my age, not dealing with baggage.

[WrenWrenWren]

In my 30's dating a girl 10 years younger. Wouldn't girlfriend up a women my age, not dealing with baggage.

So the younger woman you're dating has to deal with your baggage? Or don't you have any, even though you are in your 30's?!

I've noticed that a lot of men on this site assume women in their 30s have baggage, which is a pretty daft assumption.


Younger women who date much older men usually do so for the following reasons;

a) They have daddy issues.

b) The man has money.

c) His social status.

Very rarely is a 20something genuinely attracted to a receding hairline and an ever-expanding gut. Yeah, some guys look great in their 30's & 40's, but most don't.


This is why men are losing. They use their money to attract women, and then, when their life takes a turn for the worse and things aren't going as well for them, the woman bails (because all she really cared about was the $$$). The man then hops on the "sloots gon sloot" bandwagon, bitching and whining about "women these days", not quite grasping the fact that when you use material things to get someone, you can't complain if they ditch you when the money is no longer there... or if a better suitor comes along and "outbids" you.

[EctoPlasmic217]

it annoys me whenever people say women love, are attracted to older men, that men supposedly increase their value as they get older, oh ya, prove it

[Simple00]

Lol progress yay!

I'm not trying to shame anyone, but sometimes ppl don't see whats actually hurting them or they're chances or whatever. When you free yourself from all of societies expectations and bull crap life is soooo much better! Actually what really bugs me is when guys who are like early 20's look at women for their "mother" potential....like huh? Your 20 something go have fun! Its kinda crazy that men have developed a whats it called?? Paternal clock? It used to be women at that age eager for a family now its men because they don't want to have kids in H.S at like 50. Which is understandable but I see so many go after that goal the totally wrong way.

And for the record being a feminist is a good thing. If you had (or have) a daughter you'd want her to stick up for her rights, right? We owe a lot to those women back in the 60's and 70's and people have forgotten that due to this "negative" thing that's attached itself to women's rights recently. Its just kind of sad to me, its not about stomping on men, its about women being true to who they are. I feel like as a society we are moving backward and its just really scary from a woman's perspective...sorry to go all off topic but this is important. Sigh. Someones going to hate on this I know they are. But its fine we chicks are used to it, we're tougher then you think.

(p.s i'm cool with like tv gore but hearing about surgery is really not ok on a date! haha!)

Yes, you're totally right! Feminism isn't about stomping on men. That feminist who posted the hashtag: "Kill all white men", wasn't trying to stomp on men at all. Women wearing t-shirts that say: "I bathe in the tears of men" aren't trying to stomp on men either, you're completely right.

Excellent point about the owing it to women in the 70's who fought for the rights of women. The same principle can be applied to the US military. You guys agree that the US military fought for our freedom in World War 2, right? Therefore, it is completely unreasonable for you to be opposed to any action that the US military has taken part in since World War 2, as it would make you opposed to freedom! WITHOUT FEMINISM WOMEN WOULDN"T HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE, PRICKS!!!!

Yesterday evening I saw a woman walking down the street. A white man (#Killallwhitemen) and asked her, "You're not trying to be true to who you are, are you?". She told him that she was indeed being true to who she was. Said white man punched her in the face for that!!!! Unbelievable!!!

Anybody opposed to our feminist posts are obviously a hater, and probably big fans of patriarchy, oppression, and rape culture.

[Kev1972]

it annoys me whenever people say women love, are attracted to older men, that men supposedly increase their value as they get older, oh ya, prove it

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_..._relationships
In August 2010, Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in dating. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries ... did females show a preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men".

[US_Ranger]

Age is irrelevant if you're FA. Toxic mindset will always outweigh age, wealth, physical appearance, etc.

That being said, 30-35 is where I've had the most women who seem to be attracted to me. In reality, a lot of that is probably because I'm more socially aware of it than I was when I was younger. A lot of it is also confidence in the sense that I care less now than I did when I was younger because I'm more sure of myself. If you maintain your physical appearance as you age, you'll have a wide variety of women who are interested. You'll have the young ones who like older guys, ones in their mid twenties who are looking for mr. right and then ones in the late twenties and early thirties who rode the penis-train for the last decade and are now looking for someone to settle down with.

In other words, in your mid thirties, you actually get to choose which direction you want to go when it comes to dating as opposed to being relegated to the young ones who have the yolo lifestyle. It's refreshing but it also means a lot of crappy dates before you meet someone worth a ****.

[EctoPlasmic217]

Age is irrelevant if you're FA. Toxic mindset will always outweigh age, wealth, physical appearance, etc.

That being said, 30-35 is where I've had the most women who seem to be attracted to me. In reality, a lot of that is probably because I'm more socially aware of it than I was when I was younger. A lot of it is also confidence in the sense that I care less now than I did when I was younger because I'm more sure of myself. If you maintain your physical appearance as you age, you'll have a wide variety of women who are interested. You'll have the young ones who like older guys, ones in their mid twenties who are looking for mr. right and then ones in the late twenties and early thirties who rode the penis-train for the last decade and are now looking for someone to settle down with.

In other words, in your mid thirties, you actually get to choose which direction you want to go when it comes to dating as opposed to being relegated to the young ones who have the yolo lifestyle. It's refreshing but it also means a lot of crappy dates before you meet someone worth a ****.

were the women that you were with, younger than you? any woman that were in the early to mid-20s range?

[US_Ranger]

were the women that you were with, younger than you? any woman that were in the early to mid-20s range?

I've dated from 10 years younger to 7 years older. One thing I've noticed is that age and maturity have ZERO correlation when it comes to anything relationship related. The most insane women I've ever had the displeasure of talking to was actually older than me. One of the best chicks I've ever dated was quite a bit younger than me. A lot of people have the misunderstanding that a woman has to get dicked down for 10+ years and then decide she's ready to "settle down" before she's mature. It's not true.

[FitnessBlue]

I've dated from 10 years younger to 7 years older. One thing I've noticed is that age and maturity have ZERO correlation when it comes to anything relationship related. The most insane women I've ever had the displeasure of talking to was actually older than me. One of the best chicks I've ever dated was quite a bit younger than me. A lot of people have the misunderstanding that a woman has to get dicked down for 10+ years and then decide she's ready to "settle down" before she's mature. It's not true.

This is true.
Any woman 20-50 is a gamble regarding maturity and self respect.

[FitCross]

God look at what I unleashed upon the world!

The problem, as always, seems to be that there's a big disparity between what the "vocal" and "silent" groups do. The more vocal group, which tend to speak only for themselves, seem to buck the trend, while the silent crowd seems to fall into these broader social patterns as ascertained by various research studies. I suppose that's the problem with me even asking the questions I ask, because the folks who respond tend to be people who'd refute any premises I may put forth.

One benefit I see coming my way is that I've become a little less self-conscious. I'm a bit more comfortable with who I am and I've carved out a little identity for myself that I own. My hope is that as the "picture" of who I am becomes clearer, there'll be women out there who view me with clarity and can decide whether I'm worth pursuing a relationship with.

[wilduglylurker]

it annoys me whenever people say women love, are attracted to older men, that men supposedly increase their value as they get older, oh ya, prove it

I've known numerous men, who are 35-40 and date females 20-25 consistently. Most of them look good for their age and most dont even make big bucks. Do I know women who do the same? Not even one. I mean, obviously, a hot 40 year old female can get laid with a 20 year old horny dude, but relationship? Not even close.

[Simple00]

I have to take a stance against the people in this thread saying that women aren't into dating older men. Lol, what? Why do younger women date older guys? Because people are hypergamous as hell.

Two things that women find attractive is confidence resources. The older the man, the more resources and confidence he has, most of the time. This is why you see women dating older guys in high school. The older guys are more mature, thus they have more confidence. Additionally, the older guys have cars and driver's licenses.

Then when girls are in University you often see them dating guys who are in trades and are already established in well paying careers. These guys also have houses and vehicles of their own and are more confident than the hipster sitting beside her in Intro to psychology who is focused on where and when he can get his next bong toke.

Then if you're on an online dating website and you take a look at a 28 year old female Uni graduate's profile she will often have stated that she will date guys who are in their mid thirties. Why? Probably because there are established lawyers, doctors, etc. in that age bracket and she wouldn't have to worry if if those guys are going to "make it" or not.

And why do older guys date younger girls? Because high value women are hard to get, therefore why would a guy not just take what comes to him without a hassle. Also guys value a sexy body/face over resources and confidence, generally.