Fallen Angel picking herself up!

[FallenAngel80]

Well today was a rest day and a non-tracking of macros day. I’ll be honest and say it hasn’t been entirely free from twinges of anxiety. At the very least I have kept an eye on calories for a long time now and have tracked my macros since around July, so this first time of no-tracking of either calories or macros is more about proving to myself that the ‘aftermath’ is not going to be a car crash and in fact nothing bad is going to happen with a one-off occasion. Proof of this will come over the next few days and hopefully I can then feel more confident about having the odd day of not tracking (or at least not worry so much about derailing my progress if I’m going out to eat).

I don’t think I have gone entirely over-board today but have certainly eaten more than usual. I had the standard breakfast of oats and a mid-morning egg-white omelette with toast, interspersed with some chocolate and kettle chips!

Then for lunch we had homemade mushroom soup with crusty bread roll and butter.


Mid-afternoon was my final Christmas pudding of 2015 with custard. It came out of the container whole and I think it looks rather dubious covered half in custard! I should have broken it up a bit for the picture but thought it looked quite funny!


Then for dinner we had ‘ye old faithful’ fillet of salmon with cinnamon and honey-roasted sweet potatoes (it’s not a strong taste of cinnamon), with green beans.


So right now I am feeling rather full, but pleased that I have challenged myself and not gone on myfitnesspal today. I suppose the fact that it’s triggered some slight feelings of anxiety is a good indication that I needed to do it. Saying that, I’ll be glad to get back to training tomorrow and then start the de-load on Sunday.

Happy new year everyone, and here’s to us meeting our goals in 2016

[LunaLifts]

I’ll be honest and say it hasn’t been entirely free from twinges of anxiety. At the very least I have kept an eye on calories for a long time now and have tracked my macros since around July, so this first time of no-tracking of either calories or macros is more about proving to myself that the ‘aftermath’ is not going to be a car crash and in fact nothing bad is going to happen with a one-off occasion.

*Spoiler alert* It's true! You'll be absolutely ok. No car crash, lol. I get how you feel though. I went from just eating little here, then everything there, to eating everything for my first bulk, to tracking everything. Then recently I put a pause on it and "free-bulked" lol. Even with the increased amount of alcohol consumption this time of year (which means snacks in less than moderate quantities) I didn't blow up. Sure, I gained a bit more than what would be considered a lean bulk, but with all the crap, pfft a wee extra gain is far from a disaster. If I could manage that, I know you'll be fine. You'll feel better when you know it too by seeing it work.

I don't like mushrooms, and I'm not big on salmon, but your food pics are still making my mouth water. Happy New Year!

[FallenAngel80]

I'll send you over some virtual sweet potato

Have a good one, Luna

[Echo814]

Mmm, all the food porn up in here is giving me ideas! Glad you are able to recognize the anxiety around food and not fall prey to it. Eventually it will ease up even more, my thought is I don't think I will ever think back and say "I shouldn't have eaten that" Then again look at my signature lol.

Good work on the increases. I think you are progressing nicely and a deload is always a good thing, too many people just don't do them and should.

Happy New Year!

[swooshie]

*Spoiler alert* It's true! You'll be absolutely ok. No car crash, lol. I get how you feel though. I went from just eating little here, then everything there, to eating everything for my first bulk, to tracking everything. Then recently I put a pause on it and "free-bulked" lol. Even with the increased amount of alcohol consumption this time of year (which means snacks in less than moderate quantities) I didn't blow up. Sure, I gained a bit more than what would be considered a lean bulk, but with all the crap, pfft a wee extra gain is far from a disaster. If I could manage that, I know you'll be fine. You'll feel better when you know it too by seeing it work.

I don't like mushrooms, and I'm not big on salmon, but your food pics are still making my mouth water. Happy New Year!

I love this post! It's soooooooo true! I put an end to calorie counting, weighing food, macros, etc. Could I look better if I did all that? Yes. Would it greatly impact my life if I did all that? No. I try to look at food in a few ways. To fuel my workouts, to nourish my body with whole foods, and to enjoy my meals and social occasions. If I start to go off the deep end giving in to cravings (mainly sugar for me) I try to figure out what underlying issue is driving that behavior, and it's usually stress, then target the emotional issue with something other then food.

When I look back at pictures at the end of a cut I did about a year ago, where I was very strict with my nutrition, I really don't look that much different then I do now. Yes, I have a little more flubba here and there, but in all honesty, I'm much happier being free of self-imposed dietary restrictions. To me, it's truly all about moderation and nourishing your body and mind with the good stuff

Happy 2016 FA

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1931
Macros: 199g Carbs/ 150g Protein/ 52g Fat

Wow, well the world didn’t end last night and I didn’t mutate into the size of a house…who knew!

However, my body was not thanking me this morning. My stomach felt like it had been scraped out with a spoon; that’s the ‘IBS feeling’ I get. It could have been something in particular that I ate or just the sheer amount (or both), who knows. Anyway, back to tracking today. It was actually nice not to have any holiday food left in the house and focus on the more nutritious stuff.

Today’s workout:

Barbell Curl (3 warm-up sets first)
35.5lbs x7, x8, x8 reps

Close-grip Bench Press
55lbs x8, x7, x7 reps

Alternating Dumbbell Curl (weight is each dumbbell)
16lbs x9, x10, x9 reps

Seated Tricep Press
26lbs x7, x9, x8 reps

Seated Calf Raise (weight is each dumbbell)
44lbs x15, x20, x20 reps

Increased slightly on the dumbbell curls. Alan spotted me during the close-grip press and said it appears like my left side is stronger than my right, which lags behind when raising the bar. So I made an effort to focus on my right hand/arm; he’s right, it does lag which causes a bit of a wobble on the bar. I'm wondering if the incline dumbbell presses I do will help with this or whether I should just try and focus more on my right side during the barbell press exercises?

Tomorrow I'm going to take some measurements and progress pictures. It's the last day of the first phase of the program (each phase is 8 weeks). I'll also post my increases on each of my lifts, so that will be interesting to see

[FallenAngel80]

Mmm, all the food porn up in here is giving me ideas! Glad you are able to recognize the anxiety around food and not fall prey to it. Eventually it will ease up even more, my thought is I don't think I will ever think back and say "I shouldn't have eaten that" Then again look at my signature lol.

Good work on the increases. I think you are progressing nicely and a delay is always a good thing, too many people just don't do them and should.

Happy New Year!

Thanks Echo, and to you!

[FallenAngel80]

I love this post! It's soooooooo true! I put an end to calorie counting, weighing food, macros, etc. Could I look better if I did all that? Yes. Would it greatly impact my life if I did all that? No. I try to look at food in a few ways. To fuel my workouts, to nourish my body with whole foods, and to enjoy my meals and social occasions. If I start to go off the deep end giving in to cravings (mainly sugar for me) I try to figure out what underlying issue is driving that behavior, and it's usually stress, then target the emotional issue with something other then food.

When I look back at pictures at the end of a cut I did about a year ago, where I was very strict with my nutrition, I really don't look that much different then I do now. Yes, I have a little more flubba here and there, but in all honesty, I'm much happier being free of self-imposed dietary restrictions. To me, it's truly all about moderation and nourishing your body and mind with the good stuff

Happy 2016 FA

Happy 2016 Swooshie!

I'm not sure I'll ever get out of calorie counting/macros, although never say never

At the moment I think that would be too big a step given my previous issues with eating, but if I can have times where I free myself from it and feel okay about it then that is progress. It would be nice if I could get better at eye-balling portions, which might help me not have to weigh things. Hopefully that will get better in time

[LunaLifts]

Unilateral work is the best way to fix an imbalance, so I'd say go with dumbbells until you're evened out.
I have to do the same, my left arm has less shape to it, and I know some is my shoulder. I only have my 20lb DBs so my OHP has to get back up for me to start working them separately though. Maybe my bicep too, but it'll be easier to see if there's asymmetry there when my body fat gets down again.

[FallenAngel80]

Thanks Luna, yes even flexing in the mirror my left arm looks more developed than my right. I think there are flat dumbbell presses in phase 2 of the program, which is timely

[FallenAngel80]

Okay, so here’s my start and end weights for this first phase of the program (8 weeks). Some of the weights increased quickly as I had no idea which weight to start on so started off lightly until finding what felt comfortable. I’m not sure if these increases are ‘good’ by newbie standards so any feedback would be welcome

I'm pretty pleased with my progress. My chest is my weakest area, which is reflected in the small increase in those exercises. But, it's slow and steady which is better than being stuck in one spot I suppose

Barbell Deadlift: 53lbs > 82lbs

Romanian Deadlift: 53lbs > 82lbs

Barbell Squat: 32lbs > 83.5lbs

Front Squat: 32lbs > 67lbs

Incline Barbell Bench Press: 44lbs > 51lbs

Flat Barbell Bench Press: 47.5lbs > 55lbs

Standing Military Press: 32lbs > 35lbs

Close-grip Bench Press: 43lbs > 55lbs

Incline Dumbbell Bench Press (each dumbbell): 17.5lbs > 25lbs

Barbell Row: 53lbs > 71lbs

One-arm Dumbbell Row: 17.5lbs > 25lbs

Side Lateral Raise (each dumbbell): 10lbs > 15lbs

Bent-over Rear Delt Raise (each dumbbell): 10lbs > 19.5lbs

Barbell Curl: 27lbs > 35.5lbs

Alternating Dumbbell Curl (each dumbbell): 13lb > 16lbs

Seated Tricep Press (dumbbell): 22lbs > 26lbs

Barbell Hip Thrust: 38lbs > 82lbs

We did measurements today and my weight is back down to 111lbs. I suppose it was wishful thinking that it had jumped to 114lbs and that none of it would be water weight! Tape measurements show an inch increase in my waist size…again some of this could be water but hopefully not all of it. All other measurements are pretty similar. I have put progress pics in my profile, but can't see much difference personally. I'm not discouraged though. If I am realistic, I have only been in my surplus for about a month so perhaps it's too early to think about increasing calories more. Perhaps I should continue as I am if I’m still seeing strength gains, although this is different to building muscle so I am a bit confused :/

I'm going to stick with this program for the time being and see how I go. If I get to the stage I am concerned about where my compounds stall due to the 10-rep requirement then I will re-evaluate. I just don't want to jump around at the moment and see how far I can go with this program.

[Partyrocking]

It can be hard to accurately track weight trends. IMO, the most precise way is to weigh yourself daily and to take a rolling average. The problem with weekly weigh ins is that water weight can cause you to believe you're moving in one direction when you're not moving at all or are moving in the opposite direction.

In terms of assessing strength, I think it makes more sense to look at how well you improved instead of the absolute figures. In other words, I think the rate of progress is more important than the weights on the bar. If the rate of progress is high, then you know you're doing everything right and the strength will come. If the rate of progress is low in the early stages, something is wrong.

Looking at your numbers, your lower body strength increases were very good, e.g. your deadlift went up 54% in two months.

Your upper body strength increases weren't as great. In part, that's because women tend to have better lower body strength. However, there's room for improvement. One indicator of this is that your cgbp and your bench press are the same. Your bench press should be higher since you can use more of your chest and would have a shorter ROM. My guess is that it's a technique problem, and you aren't using all of your strength effectively. Improve your form and you'll see your bench improve quickly. I'd look here .

You're off to a good start. Keep working hard and assessing the results, and you'll do very well.

[LunaLifts]

Nice increases. My military press doesn't get up too quick either, but deads go up pretty well. Hopefully pulling sumo helps them go up even more...even if I don't necessarily have any more weight to increase with yet. >.<

I wouldn't worry about the weight, it can take time to really get the surplus on point. As for measurements, unless they're in the exact same spot every single time they can be off a bit too. Was your weight 111lbs to start, or did it go up a bit, then back down? If it hasn't gone up aside from that water weight after a month it's an ok time to add 50-100cals. Most of the time there's an initial gain for the first week or two that can be written off from water/food weight, after that you should be able to get in a steady increase (steady-ish, weight changes are rarely 100% right every week).

Strength can still go up at maintenance cals so it's not a good indicator of growth. Looking at your progress pics, you do see changes. Particularly with your arms, but there is some extra muscle pump (water and glycogen) if you're coming out of a deficit. For me I usually don't see significant change until after the first couple months which for me was like +5lbs (not including the initial water/food weight).

[FallenAngel80]

It can be hard to accurately track weight trends. IMO, the most precise way is to weigh yourself daily and to take a rolling average. The problem with weekly weigh ins is that water weight can cause you to believe you're moving in one direction when you're not moving at all or are moving in the opposite direction.

In terms of assessing strength, I think it makes more sense to look at how well you improved instead of the absolute figures. In other words, I think the rate of progress is more important than the weights on the bar. If the rate of progress is high, then you know you're doing everything right and the strength will come. If the rate of progress is low in the early stages, something is wrong.

Looking at your numbers, your lower body strength increases were very good, e.g. your deadlift went up 54% in two months.

Your upper body strength increases weren't as great. In part, that's because women tend to have better lower body strength. However, there's room for improvement. One indicator of this is that your cgbp and your bench press are the same. Your bench press should be higher since you can use more of your chest and would have a shorter ROM. My guess is that it's a technique problem, and you aren't using all of your strength effectively. Improve your form and you'll see your bench improve quickly. I'd look here .

You're off to a good start. Keep working hard and assessing the results, and you'll do very well.

Really appreciate the feedback Partyrocking

I am actually weighing myself daily so it's probably best not to take too much notice of daily fluctuations, but like you say, work on a rolling average which evens things out more.

Thanks for the link. From just having a quick look at that thread I definitely think I need to work on a few things. I do think my back arch is okay, but keeping myself tight needs some focus as does squeezing my shoulder blades, my grip width and ensuring that my elbows are under my wrists. This deload week has come at a good time to work on this, and if I have to I will drop my weight when we get back to training to ensure I sort out the form properly before increasing again.

[FallenAngel80]

Nice increases. My military press doesn't get up too quick either, but deads go up pretty well. Hopefully pulling sumo helps them go up even more...even if I don't necessarily have any more weight to increase with yet. >.<

I wouldn't worry about the weight, it can take time to really get the surplus on point. As for measurements, unless they're in the exact same spot every single time they can be off a bit too. Was your weight 111lbs to start, or did it go up a bit, then back down? If it hasn't gone up aside from that water weight after a month it's an ok time to add 50-100cals. Most of the time there's an initial gain for the first week or two that can be written off from water/food weight, after that you should be able to get in a steady increase (steady-ish, weight changes are rarely 100% right every week).

Strength can still go up at maintenance cals so it's not a good indicator of growth. Looking at your progress pics, you do see changes. Particularly with your arms, but there is some extra muscle pump (water and glycogen) if you're coming out of a deficit. For me I usually don't see significant change until after the first couple months which for me was like +5lbs (not including the initial water/food weight).

Thanks for the feedback Luna

Yeah I started at around 111lbs, shot up to about 114lbs and have hovered around there for nearly three weeks. Then today it's back down to 111.2lbs so if I were taking the rolling average my weight would come out as being 'steadier' I guess. Even though my measurements don't seem to have changed much I have noticed some development in my quads and my butt is looking better

I had been in a calorie deficit for quite some time. Couldn't tell you exactly how long, but even when I was a cardio addict I was counting calories (not macros), so perhaps there is still some adjustment going on for my body at the moment.

[LunaLifts]

Even though my measurements don't seem to have changed much I have noticed some development in my quads and my butt is looking better

The mirror is the best indicator of progress. Measurements, the scale, those things can be off, but the mirror will always show you how you're changing.

[FallenAngel80]

Very true. Yay for bigger butts lol

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1892
Macros: 187g Carbs/ 128g Protein/ 62g Fat

It felt like a really good session today. Squats felt much more solid. I think I previously got hung up on going at a consistent pace instead of coming up and taking a few seconds to compose myself between reps. Going to move the weights up next time, but by a smaller amount as 89lbs was a bit too much

Front squats felt better too. Kept my arms up and really pushed through to get the 10 reps; felt really good. My hamstrings and butt certainly took a hammering from the RDLs and hip thrusts. It was a good workout today. Shame it’s deload week from now ha ha!

Barbell Squat (3 warm-up sets first)
83.5lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Front Squat
67lbs x7, x10, x10 reps

Romanian Deadlift
82lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Barbell Hip Thrust
82lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Ab Circuits
55lbs Cable Crunch x15, x13, x13 reps
Air Bicycles x30, x34, x40 reps
15lb Dumbbell Russian Twist x46, x40, x40 reps

[swooshie]

Awesome session, FA! I need to add in some BB hip thrusts. Do you put a pad or something in between you and the BB?

Have a great day

[FallenAngel80]

Thanks Swooshie!

I don't have a pad so at the moment I use a cushion (it's rectangular so it's good because the bar doesn't rest directly anywhere on my body).

Can take a bit of effort getting the bar on my lap but it's okay once its there

[LunaLifts]

Awesome session, FA! I need to add in some BB hip thrusts. Do you put a pad or something in between you and the BB?

Have a great day

Ooooh yes. Lol. It's going to hurt pretty good otherwise. I usually fold my sweater a few times, I've seen other people fold up a yoga mat for a pad.

Great job on the workout today, Fallen. It does suck when you hit a deload once you feel like you're on a roll, lol. You'll be back at it soon enough though... even if it doesn't feel like it. >.<

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1868
Macros: 223g Carbs/ 120g Protein/ 47g Fat

First day of deload. We’d normally have a rest day but I’m at uni Wednesday-Friday next week so we’re going to get three days of deload in, three days off for uni, and then finish the deload off at the weekend.

After reading through this and then also watching the “So you think you can bench” series by Dave Tate I realised my bench needed a whole lot of attention. Thanks to Partyrocking for the heads up

I didn’t realise the extent of how ‘out’ my form was until I started putting into practice what I had read/seen; tightening my body, trying to ‘bend the bar’ and squeezing my shoulder blades. Wow…I was getting out of breath just benching the barbell! It was a good form check for Alan too and he thinks he’s going to have to drop the weight a bit. He filmed me and there was such a difference between what I had been doing and what I was now putting into practice. My body had been far too relaxed, no wonder I had little power in my arms.

I didn’t put any weight on the bar today. I just kept going back to it and thinking through the form. Whilst I found it relatively easy to tighten the upper body, I was unsure as to whether my legs were tight enough. I tried imagining pushing my heels into the floor, but I still wasn’t entirely happy with the (lack of) tightness in my legs. I’m going to try and practice my form (just with the bar) most evenings this week. I want to get used to how it feels as well as finding the grip and foot positions that work for me.

I’d normally do incline barbell bench press today as well, but decided to just focus on the flat bench press form. I also tried translating this form to my incline dumbbell press; I assume you use the same form for dumbbell presses? I get the feeling that I am not going to be able to go back to the weight I was lifting before, but I’m sure fixing my form will enable me to go further eventually.

After moaning about how rubbish I was at dips, I managed to do some today! They’re still band-assisted, but I was having trouble even doing them with bands. Not sure how that’s come about all of a sudden but I was quite stoked about it

Flat Barbell Bench Press
17.5lbs (bar only) x10 reps (6 sets)

Incline Dumbbell Bench Press
11lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Dips (chest variation)
Body weight, band assisted, x3, 3, x4 reps

Seated Calf Raise (weight is each dumbbell)
44lbs x15 reps (3 sets)

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1893
Macros: 234g Carbs/ 128g Protein/ 42g Fat

Well I have some serious DOMS in the sides of my lower back today, as well as my shoulder blades. Nothing painful; it’s the ‘nice’ kind of DOMS Hopefully it indicates that I was doing something right with the bench press yesterday.

The deload continues and it’s nice to have an opportunity to focus on form with the lighter weights. I think my one-arm dumbbell rows will come down in weight a bit once we’re back to normal; using the lighter dumbbell this morning made me realise that I’m not feeling it where I should be when I’m lifting 25lbs so my form is being compromised. I’m going to reduce it to 22lbs next week and see how that feels.

I did some more bar-only bench presses this evening. I’m gradually finding the grip and foot positions that feel good (and tight) for me.

Tonight's dinner was Haddock Kedgeree




Barbell Deadlift (3 warm-up sets first)
49.5lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Barbell Squat
48lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Barbell Row
42lbs x 10 reps (3 sets)

One-arm Dumbbell Row
11lbs x10 reps each arm (3 sets)

Ab Circuits
Hanging Leg Raise x11 reps (3 sets)
55lbs Cable Crunch x12, x10, x12 reps
Air Bicycles x30, x40, x40 reps

Flat Barbell Bench Press
17.5lbs (bar only) x10 reps (3 sets)

[LunaLifts]

Gonna check out that link. I haven't had the chance to bench since I started lifting, but when I do I want to have it in my head how to do it right.

Mmmm, that meal looks delicious.

[FallenAngel80]

The link is really good, and the video is too. They also have 'So you think you can squat' and another video for the deadlift. They show how to identity one's weaknesses when taking someone to their max weight on a lift, and what accessory work can be done to strengthen weaknesses. Certainly educational for me anyway

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1936
Macros: 234g Carbs/ 128g Protein/ 46g Fat

More focus on form today during our deload week; kept the weights the same for the shrugs and calves though. As much as I feel a bit lazy with lifting lighter weights, it’s giving me a chance to see whether or not I am using correct form. I don’t think I was doing my lateral or rear-delt raises very well and the lighter weights remind me what they should ‘feel like’ in my muscles. Again, I may not be able to go straight back up to my previous weights but I guess any exercise is useless if I’m lifting heavy but not targeting the muscles correctly.

Did some more bench presses to get the practice in too

Standing Military Press (3 warm-up sets first)
27.5lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Flat Barbell Bench Press
27.5lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Side Lateral Raise (weight is each dumbbell)
6.5lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Bent-over Rear Delt Raise (weight is each dumbbell)
10lbs x 10 reps (3 sets)

Barbell Shrugs
71lbs x10 reps (3 sets)

Standing Barbell Calf Raise
71lbs x15 reps feet forward (3 sets)
71lbs x15 reps feet turned outwards (3 sets)
71lbs x15 reps feet turned inwards (3 sets)

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1861
Macros: 201g Carbs/ 135g Protein/ 48g Fat

No training today as at uni. First day out of three done and dusted...I was almost falling asleep in the lecture this afternoon. I'm currently in the process of editing a literature review that I did during the first academic year as my tutor wants to publish it. He emailed me today asking when I thought it would be ready to submit. I've been so de-motivated with it all and I was a bit irked that he was chasing me (he's a useless tutor), but it's actually the kick up the butt I need. I don't have a great deal left to do, but I need to make a final push and just get it submitted to a journal to see whether or not they will accept it. This weekend I will aim to get the majority done.

After a long day it's sometimes nice to come home and cook something that doesn't take much effort but that is really satisfying. This is usually what Alan and I resort to; baked beans and fried eggs on toast. Doesn't look particularly gourmet but it's good comfort food :P

[viccles007]

Fellow IG"er in for the sub. Your kitty is gorgeous!

[FallenAngel80]

Thank you Dr V! He's an old man now, got kidney issues, but hopefully he'll stick around for a while yet

[FallenAngel80]

Calories: 1873
Macros: 206g Carbs/ 136g Protein/ 46g Fat

My journal feels very empty at the moment. Can't wait to finish deload at the weekend and then start back for the next phase of the program on Monday.

In the meantime, this is an affliction which I think quite a number of us share. It's important that we support each other during these times (either that or duck for cover lol)