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  1. #121
    World Warrior TypeNirvash's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Equinox117 View Post
    I had really bad day today brahs.

    My mother's side of the family came over today and usually I just go off to the library or something to avoid social interaction. But today, I thought that maybe I should try to talk more, so I stayed home. I had to talk quite a bit and it wasn't a pleasant experience for me. My speech was horrible today. Stuttered a lot in every conversation I had. After they left I went to the mall with a few friends. They don't give a sht about my stuttering but I do. It just makes me feel weak and inadequate. The feeling of having no control over my voice makes me rage. I'm also getting tired of seeing smiles from people turn into a concerned or confused look when I speak. I don't blame them because stuttering is a hidden disability. I look completely normal until I speak and that catches almost everyone I talk to off guard. It isn't only the embarrassment that tortures me mentally, but also the difficulty speaking.

    Sorry brahs..this was kinda a downer post. I know there will be up days and down days. Today unfortunately as you guessed was a pretty down day.

    Being positive is so fcking difficult. Got a lot of work to do. Hoping my mood changes tomorrow.
    Hey brah, the road ahead is fraught with difficulty, but as long as you pick yourself back up every time you fall, you'll make it to where you want to be. Even if you only take one step, and fall flat on your face, you've still come one step further than you would have had you not taken a step at all. Progress takes time.

    It sounds like you had a rough day, but I can see that you're trying to keep your head up. You got this man, I know you can do it. You know that your friends don't think anything of your stuttering, and most of the bashing takes place inside of your head--you're bashing yourself. You gotta' own your stutter man, it's what makes you who you are. It's not weak, man. Stuttering doesn't make you weak, in fact, it makes you significantly stronger. It gives extra weight for you to carry... And like all weight, the more you carry it, the stronger you get.

    I believe in you brah!
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  2. #122
    Registered User Equinox117's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    Hey brah, the road ahead is fraught with difficulty, but as long as you pick yourself back up every time you fall, you'll make it to where you want to be. Even if you only take one step, and fall flat on your face, you've still come one step further than you would have had you not taken a step at all. Progress takes time.

    It sounds like you had a rough day, but I can see that you're trying to keep your head up. You got this man, I know you can do it. You know that your friends don't think anything of your stuttering, and most of the bashing takes place inside of your head--you're bashing yourself. You gotta' own your stutter man, it's what makes you who you are. It's not weak, man. Stuttering doesn't make you weak, in fact, it makes you significantly stronger. It gives extra weight for you to carry... And like all weight, the more you carry it, the stronger you get.

    I believe in you brah!
    It's not only the embarrassment that gets to me. It's the difficulty of speaking also. When you're constantly having difficulty saying everything it takes a toll. Whenever I go out with my friends (have only two) I barely talk for several days after because I'm so drained. I feel physically exhausted.

    I've tried for a long time to improve my fluency by reading out loud in front of the mirror. Some people say that stutterers do not stutter when speaking alone..I do. I stutter while reading anything.

    So what I am saying is that yes, the embarrassment is a large factor in my feelings of anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts but the actual act of speaking takes a huge toll on me also. It doesn't matter how accepting and understanding the person is who I am speaking to, fighting over sentences makes me angry.

    Today unfortunately there was no improvement in my mood. The thoughts of yesterday + thinking about the future + studying for a test (teacher is absolute garbage) I have on Monday isn't helping.
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  3. #123
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    Might be the laziest and most lethargic person on earth what do feel so comfortable at home
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  4. #124
    World Warrior TypeNirvash's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Equinox117 View Post
    It's not only the embarrassment that gets to me. It's the difficulty of speaking also. When you're constantly having difficulty saying everything it takes a toll. Whenever I go out with my friends (have only two) I barely talk for several days after because I'm so drained. I feel physically exhausted.

    I've tried for a long time to improve my fluency by reading out loud in front of the mirror. Some people say that stutterers do not stutter when speaking alone..I do. I stutter while reading anything.

    So what I am saying is that yes, the embarrassment is a large factor in my feelings of anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts but the actual act of speaking takes a huge toll on me also. It doesn't matter how accepting and understanding the person is who I am speaking to, fighting over sentences makes me angry.

    Today unfortunately there was no improvement in my mood. The thoughts of yesterday + thinking about the future + studying for a test (teacher is absolute garbage) I have on Monday isn't helping.
    I get what you're saying man, but I think that everything is incredibly hard before we really hammer down on it.
    Just like going to the gym was incredibly hard at first, and it made us feel sore for days on end afterward. It's pretty much exactly like that. The more you do it, the better you'll get at it. The more you do it, the less tired you'll be of it.

    If you have some time tonight, this might be a good movie to watch, my friend:



    Originally Posted by KramericaInd View Post
    Might be the laziest and most lethargic person on earth what do feel so comfortable at home
    Just gotta' break the habit, man!
    Last edited by TypeNirvash; 10-03-2015 at 06:09 PM.
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  5. #125
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    Originally Posted by Equinox117 View Post
    I had really bad day today brahs.

    My mother's side of the family came over today and usually I just go off to the library or something to avoid social interaction. But today, I thought that maybe I should try to talk more, so I stayed home. I had to talk quite a bit and it wasn't a pleasant experience for me. My speech was horrible today. Stuttered a lot in every conversation I had. After they left I went to the mall with a few friends. They don't give a sht about my stuttering but I do. It just makes me feel weak and inadequate. The feeling of having no control over my voice makes me rage. I'm also getting tired of seeing smiles from people turn into a concerned or confused look when I speak. I don't blame them because stuttering is a hidden disability. I look completely normal until I speak and that catches almost everyone I talk to off guard. It isn't only the embarrassment that tortures me mentally, but also the difficulty speaking.

    Sorry brahs..this was kinda a downer post. I know there will be up days and down days. Today unfortunately as you guessed was a pretty down day.

    Being positive is so fcking difficult. Got a lot of work to do. Hoping my mood changes tomorrow.
    Bro I know a guy that went to high school with me, and he stutters a lot. When with me or with a group and we are talking, he talks and he stutters almost every sentence. He's also one of the coolest, most outgoing person I have ever met. Everyone loves him. He's had the prettiest girlfriends you can think of. One thing he doesn't do is apologize about his stuttering, he doesn't even bring it up. He stutters but he keeps talking. It doesn't bother him at all, doesn't acknowledge it, NOTHING. He plays it off and not ONE person ever has told him something about it or even laughed.

    You gotta have one thing in your mind brah, think positive and don't give a fuk what people think about you. You should see this dude man, he's happy, he goes out, skates, has his own group, and he gets chicks. YOU are no difference. Trust me man, you see people make faces but it's because when you talk you give off the vibe of "Oh no i'm stuttering and they're noticing" and from there that's where it gets bad. I've been there before. It's something that can be fixed brah, now I rarely stutter and am happier, it's like it's a bad habit I dropped. Getting out of your comfort zone helps a lot. In your situation, look at the dude I talked about in the first paragraph, his stuttering isn't stopping him from being the coolest outgoing dude. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT BRAH

    Look at this video, and listen to the words man

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  6. #126
    Registered User Equinox117's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    I get what you're saying man, but I think that everything is incredibly hard before we really hammer down on it.
    Just like going to the gym was incredibly hard at first, and it made us feel sore for days on end afterward. It's pretty much exactly like that. The more you do it, the better you'll get at it. The more you do it, the less tired you'll be of it.

    If you have some time tonight, this might be a good movie to watch, my friend:



    Thanks for the words friend.

    I've read an hour a day by myself out loud for months at a time throughout the years and speaking never got any easier. Of course I had the typical good speech day then the awful one. If speaking by myself (no anxiety from being around people) didn't allow me to talk easier how will talking around people make talking less strenuous? I get physically drained.

    At least with working out I get consistent results, and by seeing results, I continue it because..I see that hard work is paying off.

    Originally Posted by 2010JW View Post
    Bro I know a guy that went to high school with me, and he stutters a lot. When with me or with a group and we are talking, he talks and he stutters almost every sentence. He's also one of the coolest, most outgoing person I have ever met. Everyone loves him. He's had the prettiest girlfriends you can think of. One thing he doesn't do is apologize about his stuttering, he doesn't even bring it up. He stutters but he keeps talking. It doesn't bother him at all, doesn't acknowledge it, NOTHING. He plays it off and not ONE person ever has told him something about it or even laughed.

    You gotta have one thing in your mind brah, think positive and don't give a fuk what people think about you. You should see this dude man, he's happy, he goes out, skates, has his own group, and he gets chicks. YOU are no difference. Trust me man, you see people make faces but it's because when you talk you give off the vibe of "Oh no i'm stuttering and they're noticing" and from there that's where it gets bad. I've been there before. It's something that can be fixed brah, now I rarely stutter and am happier, it's like it's a bad habit I dropped. Getting out of your comfort zone helps a lot. In your situation, look at the dude I talked about in the first paragraph, his stuttering isn't stopping him from being the coolest outgoing dude. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT BRAH

    Look at this video, and listen to the words man

    I'm not trying to be negative here but I know I'll never be like that guy. My anxiety about stuttering from a young age extended out and created a multitude of other issues. Anything involving being around people gives me anxiety. Here are some examples: Taking the bus, walking around on campus, going for a run outside, waiting in the doctors office etc. I've been doing this for years, yet my anxiety hasn't decreased at all. I'm probably one of the worst nervous wrecks around. I've measured my heart rate a few times when I felt anxious and the readings were all above 120. Once before a doctors appointment it was 144.

    Me doing CBT isn't about making friends because I am a complete bore, I have nothing to say, my body reacts very negatively when I'm nervous, and I just don't care to try. It's about me being somewhat functional in society to be able to secure a co-op work term then a job afterwards. My parents have money, but I cannot stand leeching off them. I want to have a career and be independent and not be a bum living in my parents home..or at least I can start paying rent.

    My childhood was difficult mentally. My father was a perfectionist who demanded perfection from my siblings and I. When I was doing something he'd always watch and put me down if I messed up. He never called me names, but he would say things like: You're being lazy, you're not focused. All while yelling btw. This made me nervous to try anything new all through my life and I have suffered dearly. I always think I'm being judged for everything I do. If I mess up I feel awful about it for extended periods of time. I probably would have been a nervous wreck without stuttering. Stuttering is just the icing on the cake. My father luckily has changed, he's way more calm and understanding than what he once was. I've had zero problems with my mother. The most kind and understanding person I know of.

    My negativity is so ingrained in my brain I do not know how to get rid of it. My brain seems like it's permanently wired to be negative and cannot be re-wired. Happiness seems completely unattainable. That guy you mentioned is a rarity. Sounds like a great guy to be around. I've seen other people mention stutterers who apparently dgaf then ask then why can't you be like that? Don't know if this comparison actually fits but I'll say it anyways. Warren Buffet is a billionaire, then why aren't you? He did it..so what's your excuse?. Not everyone is the same. We're all different genetically. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. What one person can handle another cannot. Our experiences during our early developmental phase contributes to what we will later become.

    Again, I'm just doing CBT to become functional. Not to become an outgoing, happy, and charismatic person. Maybe I'll set happy as being a goal once I become functional, until then my goal is to secure a job.

    Sorry if this post seems unstructured. I just wrote what was on my mind as the thoughts came in.
    Last edited by Equinox117; 10-04-2015 at 12:41 AM.
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  7. #127
    World Warrior TypeNirvash's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Equinox117 View Post
    Thanks for the words friend.

    I've read an hour a day by myself out loud for months at a time throughout the years and speaking never got any easier. Of course I had the typical good speech day then the awful one. If speaking by myself (no anxiety from being around people) didn't allow me to talk easier how will talking around people make talking less strenuous? I get physically drained.

    At least with working out I get consistent results, and by seeing results, I continue it because..I see that hard work is paying off.



    I'm not trying to be negative here but I know I'll never be like that guy. My anxiety about stuttering from a young age extended out and created a multitude of other issues. Anything involving being around people gives me anxiety. Here are some examples: Taking the bus, walking around on campus, going for a run outside, waiting in the doctors office etc. I've been doing this for years, yet my anxiety hasn't decreased at all. I'm probably one of the worst nervous wrecks around. I've measured my heart rate a few times when I felt anxious and the readings were all above 120. Once before a doctors appointment it was 144.

    Me doing CBT isn't about making friends because I am a complete bore, I have nothing to say, my body reacts very negatively when I'm nervous, and I just don't care to try. It's about me being somewhat functional in society to be able to secure a co-op work term then a job afterwards. My parents have money, but I cannot stand leeching off them. I want to have a career and be independent and not be a bum living in my parents home..or at least I can start paying rent.

    My childhood was difficult mentally. My father was a perfectionist who demanded perfection from my siblings and I. When I was doing something he'd always watch and put me down if I messed up. He never called me names, but he would say things like: You're being lazy, you're not focused. All while yelling btw. This made me nervous to try anything new all through my life and I have suffered dearly. I always think I'm being judged for everything I do. If I mess up I feel awful about it for extended periods of time. I probably would have been a nervous wreck without stuttering. Stuttering is just the icing on the cake. My father luckily has changed, he's way more calm and understanding than what he once was. I've had zero problems with my mother. The most kind and understanding person I know of.

    My negativity is so ingrained in my brain I do not know how to get rid of it. My brain seems like it's permanently wired to be negative and cannot be re-wired. Happiness seems completely unattainable. That guy you mentioned is a rarity. Sounds like a great guy to be around. I've seen other people mention stutterers who apparently dgaf then ask then why can't you be like that? Don't know if this comparison actually fits but I'll say it anyways. Warren Buffet is a billionaire, then why aren't you? He did it..so what's your excuse?. Not everyone is the same. We're all different genetically. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. What one person can handle another cannot. Our experiences during our early developmental phase contributes to what we will later become.

    Again, I'm just doing CBT to become functional. Not to become an outgoing, happy, and charismatic person. Maybe I'll set happy as being a goal once I become functional, until then my goal is to secure a job.

    Sorry if this post seems unstructured. I just wrote what was on my mind as the thoughts came in.
    I had a good thought about your post before I responded. There were two reasons for that;

    1) It still feels very hopeful.
    2) I can see the beginning of something very good budding here.

    You're going to CBT, and have very clear, realistic expectations about what you'd like to achieve while there. You want to set yourself up to be able to succeed on your own, without the aid of others. You want to use it as a stepping stone toward becoming more functional. And you know what? I think that's awesome. I know that will lead you toward feeling significantly better.

    I told you that it would be one step at a time. Like I said before, man, this is the first step. You need to crawl before you can walk, and there's gonna' be a whole lot of mud and there's gonna' be a whole lot of pain. But you definitely fell down a dozen times before you could finally walk. And even then, it was in jangly steps that didn't make sense. It wasn't until years later that the steps became deliberate and graceful.

    You've spent years doing this... But like the video in the OP says; you can change your hat, clothes, hair, house, wife, car, or anything else, but if you don't change your mind it won't do a thing. And you've spent the last few years trying to achieve progress, but you were working with the same mindset. You've been working for the same goal, right? I think right now, with the CBT, you're taking a very different direction. And that different direction might be the thing that helps you find your way.

    Let's spend the time it takes to get functional, man. Let's take all the time we need to build that foundation. You're going to build it back up stronger than it was before. Next time you're in there, I want you to be more active. Ask, and answer more questions. You may feel embarrassed, but you're in the company of people who are seeking help too (you mentioned it's a group, right?). They understand. When you feel discouraged, and find yourself retreating to silence, remember that you're there to improve. Remember why you came, and speak. You can do it.

    It's like going on the high-diving board for the first time. You stand there with your feet on the edge, looking down. You have two choices, jump or climb back down. Something has to be the impetus for you to jump. You just take a breath and hit that switch in your head. It's there, trust me, but the location is different for everybody. You'll have to search for it, but I promise you'll find it in there.



    You only exist where you are for but a moment. Let's make the most of it, my friend
    Last edited by TypeNirvash; 10-04-2015 at 09:27 AM.
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    I've been pretty angry over the past 3 days. My heart rate has been constantly above 115+ every time I have checked. Usually it's around 60-70 at home but it's now stuck at an elevated rate. This cannot be good for my health.
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    Originally Posted by Equinox117 View Post
    I've been pretty angry over the past 3 days. My heart rate has been constantly above 115+ every time I have checked. Usually it's around 60-70 at home but it's now stuck at an elevated rate. This cannot be good for my health.
    What is it exactly that has been making you angry? Is it frustration?
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    Update. Held out eating pizza or wanting to have even ONE cheat day a week. Dat discipline... is looking like it's worth it. Shirts fitting better, clothes feeling comfy, no longer have to wear Medium sized work shirts, can wear smalls and look good with filled up sleeves/shoulder/trap. One thing I learned. Haters gonna hate. Girls gonna mire.

    It's amazing how different it is being fat to being skinny fat more on the side of skinny with some muscle mass. Goes a long way and attention is like day and night. Don't like it though because i'm getting a lot of haters.. no brag. How to deal with people like this brah?

    Update- girl that I asked out from work where nothin happened was mirin also and would grab my arm and say "damn JW that gym!" not once or twice but a few times lol.

    Still gotta work on social skills but I am glad to see how discipline works out.. were all gonna make it
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    Originally Posted by 2010JW View Post
    Update. Held out eating pizza or wanting to have even ONE cheat day a week. Dat discipline... is looking like it's worth it. Shirts fitting better, clothes feeling comfy, no longer have to wear Medium sized work shirts, can wear smalls and look good with filled up sleeves/shoulder/trap. One thing I learned. Haters gonna hate. Girls gonna mire.

    It's amazing how different it is being fat to being skinny fat more on the side of skinny with some muscle mass. Goes a long way and attention is like day and night. Don't like it though because i'm getting a lot of haters.. no brag. How to deal with people like this brah?

    Update- girl that I asked out from work where nothin happened was mirin also and would grab my arm and say "damn JW that gym!" not once or twice but a few times lol.

    Still gotta work on social skills but I am glad to see how discipline works out.. were all gonna make it
    Good chit brah, sounds like you're heading down a good path right now. But because like me, you're also a hobbyist lifter, you don't have to restrict yourself from foods so much. Have you read any of the stickies in the nutrition section, by the way?



    As long as you're able to fit it into your macros, you should be okay. That's not to say that you should eat a diet full of processed foods, just that you can have a slice of pizza now and then if you really want. Wouldn't look at it as a "cheat" day or a "cheat" meal because that can lead you to thinking that certain food is "bad" while other food is "good." That in turn, can cause an unhealthy relationship with food which can lead to binging/purging.

    Not saying that you do this, but it's good to know It's something that I strongly believe is important for guys like us. We've got to keep ourselves sane, and we also have to be able to enjoy life. After all, what good is a beautiful body if you can't abuse it every now and then?

    As for the haters, yeah, there are going to be people who are jealous. Disregard them, but if they ask for help, don't shut them out. Everybody wants to matter, and everybody wants to be important. That's where jealousy stems from--when somebody has something that we want, we're inclined to get jealous. It's a compliment that they're jealous of you, but don't hold it against them. Instead, continue to act as you normally would.

    Them social skills will happen in time. Keep putting yourself out there, and as your confidence builds, so too will your ability to talk. You got this man!
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    Good chit brah, sounds like you're heading down a good path right now. But because like me, you're also a hobbyist lifter, you don't have to restrict yourself from foods so much. Have you read any of the stickies in the nutrition section, by the way?



    As long as you're able to fit it into your macros, you should be okay. That's not to say that you should eat a diet full of processed foods, just that you can have a slice of pizza now and then if you really want. Wouldn't look at it as a "cheat" day or a "cheat" meal because that can lead you to thinking that certain food is "bad" while other food is "good." That in turn, can cause an unhealthy relationship with food which can lead to binging/purging.

    Not saying that you do this, but it's good to know It's something that I strongly believe is important for guys like us. We've got to keep ourselves sane, and we also have to be able to enjoy life. After all, what good is a beautiful body if you can't abuse it every now and then?

    As for the haters, yeah, there are going to be people who are jealous. Disregard them, but if they ask for help, don't shut them out. Everybody wants to matter, and everybody wants to be important. That's where jealousy stems from--when somebody has something that we want, we're inclined to get jealous. It's a compliment that they're jealous of you, but don't hold it against them. Instead, continue to act as you normally would.

    Them social skills will happen in time. Keep putting yourself out there, and as your confidence builds, so too will your ability to talk. You got this man!
    My brother tells me the same things man, I shouldn't restrict myself so much. And I haven't actually, sadly because I know my body so well I set up my own ways to eat. I've tried before to eat one small portion but the next day I feel and look bloated, and my face gets puffy lol :/
    I'll look into it tho !

    I saw your thread in your sig man and yall eating burgers and sodas and all that. HOW!? are you the type that has a hard time putting weight?

    Yeah I can handle some criticism but once they touch me I get pissed. Some guy at work went with me and started to pull my sleeves down and out to stretch them. I was like gtfo and pushed him away. IDK if there was a better way to handle things but that pissed me off lol :/
    Yeah I noticed more confidence more talkative. I'm just getting started !

    Thanks your threads have been part of this, you're a great person brah (:
    Last edited by 2010JW; 10-07-2015 at 10:17 AM.
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    Originally Posted by 2010JW View Post
    My brother tells me the same things man, I shouldn't restrict myself so much. And I haven't actually, sadly because I know my body so well I set up my own ways to eat. I've tried before to eat one small portion but the next day I feel and look bloated, and my face gets puffy lol :/
    I'll look into it tho !

    I saw your thread in your sig man and yall eating pizzas and sodas and all that. HOW!? are you the type that has a hard time putting weight?

    Yeah I can handle some criticism but once they touch me I get pissed. Some guy at work went with me and started to pull my sleeves down and out to stretch them. I was like gtfo and pushed him away. IDK if there was a better way to handle things but that pissed me off lol :/
    Yeah I noticed more confidence more talkative. I'm just getting started !

    Thanks your threads have been part of this, you're a great person brah (:
    To answer your question, it's not about portion sizes, just caloric intake (which I'm sure you probably have some idea of at this point) and macronutrient intake.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=156380183

    ^This is a really good place to start. Essentially, you should be getting at least .6-.8g of protein per lb of body weight and ~.45g of fat per lb of body weight. Those numbers are really just minimums though, so you can consume more so long as it fits into your caloric goals.

    The simple fact of the matter is that if you consume more calories than you burn (via your Total Daily Energy Expenditure or TDEE) you will gain weight. If the adverse occurs--you burn more calories than you consume--you will lose weight. The type of food that you choose does not change this process, as the difference between the molecular structure of a carbohydrate/protein/fat from a processed food does not differ from the molecular structure of a carbohydrate/protein/fat from a whole food. That's not to say you shouldn't care where the content of the food comes from, but it does suggest that you can consume certain processed foods so long as you're within your caloric goal.

    This is discussed here;
    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133634471

    I've always been a heavier kind of guy. Well, not always. I was 99lbs as a freshman in high school and was the smallest kid in school. Then I hit puberty and shot up. I didn't get incredibly tall, but I just got "big." Some of it was pudge, some of it was muscle. I have a huge appetite, which likely fueled it... In the end, I left high school at around a chubby 200lbs. First semester of college put me up into the 220's. Decided it was time to make a change, and cut down to 165-170lbs, which was where I began to learn a whole lot of bro-science. Was a bro-scientist for a year and a half, until I joined BB.com. At which point, I learned some of what I just told you before



    Not sure why somebody would pull your sleeves down, or anything like that. Would probably make me feel uncomfortable if I didn't really talk to that person much. I probably wouldn't have pushed them off, but I'd definitely give them a strong bert stare. Most likely would end up asking them what they thought they were trying to do before removing myself from the conversation. I wouldn't let it bother me too much, though.

    I appreciate you attributing some of your success to the threads, but don't give them too much credit. All of the effort and work was done by you, and you were already doing everything before I came along. I can't take any credit for your actions, brah, it's all you. You're largely responsible for your success

    As always You got this, brother!
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    To answer your question, it's not about portion sizes, just caloric intake (which I'm sure you probably have some idea of at this point) and macronutrient intake.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=156380183

    ^This is a really good place to start. Essentially, you should be getting at least .6-.8g of protein per lb of body weight and ~.45g of fat per lb of body weight. Those numbers are really just minimums though, so you can consume more so long as it fits into your caloric goals.

    The simple fact of the matter is that if you consume more calories than you burn (via your Total Daily Energy Expenditure or TDEE) you will gain weight. If the adverse occurs--you burn more calories than you consume--you will lose weight. The type of food that you choose does not change this process, as the difference between the molecular structure of a carbohydrate/protein/fat from a processed food does not differ from the molecular structure of a carbohydrate/protein/fat from a whole food. That's not to say you shouldn't care where the content of the food comes from, but it does suggest that you can consume certain processed foods so long as you're within your caloric goal.

    This is discussed here;
    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133634471

    I've always been a heavier kind of guy. Well, not always. I was 99lbs as a freshman in high school and was the smallest kid in school. Then I hit puberty and shot up. I didn't get incredibly tall, but I just got "big." Some of it was pudge, some of it was muscle. I have a huge appetite, which likely fueled it... In the end, I left high school at around a chubby 200lbs. First semester of college put me up into the 220's. Decided it was time to make a change, and cut down to 165-170lbs, which was where I began to learn a whole lot of bro-science. Was a bro-scientist for a year and a half, until I joined BB.com. At which point, I learned some of what I just told you before



    Not sure why somebody would pull your sleeves down, or anything like that. Would probably make me feel uncomfortable if I didn't really talk to that person much. I probably wouldn't have pushed them off, but I'd definitely give them a strong bert stare. Most likely would end up asking them what they thought they were trying to do before removing myself from the conversation. I wouldn't let it bother me too much, though.

    I appreciate you attributing some of your success to the threads, but don't give them too much credit. All of the effort and work was done by you, and you were already doing everything before I came along. I can't take any credit for your actions, brah, it's all you. You're largely responsible for your success

    As always You got this, brother!

    So small amounts here and there huh? Yeah i've seen those threads before. They're very helpful. I always look at the labels of the things i'm eating and record what I eat throughout the day. I've been doing 1g protein per 1lb bodyweight and it's been working fine in this caloric deficit as i've kept my muscle. I've noticed that I can't do 2k cal at all. I do alright with 1.8k or the like. Maybe since I am a smaller guy. Also I am an endomorph so it's hard getting that fat off.

    We've all been broscientists lol. Back then buying all these preworkouts, during workouts, and mass gainers. All that was gained was fat lo.

    Nah we're coworkers but his intention was hateful. The look in his face coming to me and trying to pull my sleeves down because they were too high up. lol doesn't bother me much just that moment.

    Thanks man, I know it was me and mainly me, but remember that 1st post I made the 25th.. my mind was super negative and down that time but reading positive things and working on myself both helped me so much.

    Keep lifting
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    Originally Posted by 2010JW View Post
    So small amounts here and there huh? Yeah i've seen those threads before. They're very helpful. I always look at the labels of the things i'm eating and record what I eat throughout the day. I've been doing 1g protein per 1lb bodyweight and it's been working fine in this caloric deficit as i've kept my muscle. I've noticed that I can't do 2k cal at all. I do alright with 1.8k or the like. Maybe since I am a smaller guy. Also I am an endomorph so it's hard getting that fat off.

    We've all been broscientists lol. Back then buying all these preworkouts, during workouts, and mass gainers. All that was gained was fat lo.

    Nah we're coworkers but his intention was hateful. The look in his face coming to me and trying to pull my sleeves down because they were too high up. lol doesn't bother me much just that moment.

    Thanks man, I know it was me and mainly me, but remember that 1st post I made the 25th.. my mind was super negative and down that time but reading positive things and working on myself both helped me so much.

    Keep lifting
    I find that even 1g is a bit high, personally. I don't really think much muscle is lost as a natural lifter unless you're trying to hit sub-10% levels. But if you're not getting competition lean, it's not something you need to stress so hard. Also I don't really believe in ectos/endos/mesos. Just people who eat a certain way, and store fat a certain way. All of that can be altered with dietary practice. Muscular structure, bone structure and general body morphology differs from person to person. It's not something that can be classified by a body type. All that really matters is TDEE and how you eat accordingly when it comes to weight gain/weight loss.

    I used to spend a lot of money on supps too, but haven't bought one in a while. I prefer to eat my calories whenever possible, because I love food.

    In the end, just find a way to hit the macros and keep yourself satisfied in terms of dietary practices. Lose something like 2% of your weight weekly, and you should be perfectly fine.


    I wouldn't worry too much about what your co-worker was thinking It's no big deal in the greater spectrum of things. Not like you're going to be working with him forever anyway.




    Your mind may have been negative, but you did all the work to change that. And I'm proud of your for making that effort









    Now we wait for Equinox's update Where'd he go?
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    hpw can you do it when you gotta go to a soul sucking job everyday just to survive
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    Originally Posted by runawaybrah View Post
    hpw can you do it when you gotta go to a soul sucking job everyday just to survive
    A lot of alcohol
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    Originally Posted by runawaybrah View Post
    hpw can you do it when you gotta go to a soul sucking job everyday just to survive
    I know the feel. Am currently working full time and going to school full time. It's tough, but you have to look at it one of two ways:

    1) Is this job advancing me in life in some way, shape or form?
    2) Is this job allowing me to support myself and live a life I want to lead?

    If it doesn't fit those criteria, then you have to try to figure out what things you need from a work-place that you're not getting and then how you can improve upon that. If the job is a means to an end, then look forward to the end it produces. However, if it's not, then you don't have to settle for it.

    Nothing in your life is set in stone. You can always make things better, if you try to.

    For me, my work is providing money so that I can forge a better path. I made some big mistakes and now I'm paying for them, but what keeps me going is knowing that I'll be able to put myself through school and eventually end up working toward a significantly better career... That I'd actually be interested in And that keeps me going--that keeps me happy!

    Originally Posted by laxster View Post
    A lot of alcohol
    Self-medication often makes things worse
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    I find that even 1g is a bit high, personally. I don't really think much muscle is lost as a natural lifter unless you're trying to hit sub-10% levels. But if you're not getting competition lean, it's not something you need to stress so hard. Also I don't really believe in ectos/endos/mesos. Just people who eat a certain way, and store fat a certain way. All of that can be altered with dietary practice. Muscular structure, bone structure and general body morphology differs from person to person. It's not something that can be classified by a body type. All that really matters is TDEE and how you eat accordingly when it comes to weight gain/weight loss.

    I used to spend a lot of money on supps too, but haven't bought one in a while. I prefer to eat my calories whenever possible, because I love food.

    In the end, just find a way to hit the macros and keep yourself satisfied in terms of dietary practices. Lose something like 2% of your weight weekly, and you should be perfectly fine.


    I wouldn't worry too much about what your co-worker was thinking It's no big deal in the greater spectrum of things. Not like you're going to be working with him forever anyway.




    Your mind may have been negative, but you did all the work to change that. And I'm proud of your for making that effort









    Now we wait for Equinox's update Where'd he go?

    Yeah man as for now i'm not stressing that hard, i'll leave that for February where I will begin a cut And that's true it differs from person to person hence me knowing how I lose the weight/gain it. I have a question, how many cals do you consume perday? Protein Gs?

    I feel you man. I perfer eating some subway or panda express post workout than a protein shake (: even though you can make your own mass gainers by adding oatmeal/bananas/PB to your shakes (:

    Yeah I know.. after all it's a fast food job that i'm hoping to leave by next august, if it goes well i'll be ranking already in my course by June

    Thanks bro (:

    Yeah i'm up for his update too. I know life is hard sometimes and we all have flaws but everyone has positives that outweigh their flaws and everyone can make it far. I believe in him man, the guy I gave example of stutters unbelievably but dude's the most chill guy ever. Equinox is no excuse (:
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    Originally Posted by 2010JW View Post
    Yeah man as for now i'm not stressing that hard, i'll leave that for February where I will begin a cut And that's true it differs from person to person hence me knowing how I lose the weight/gain it. I have a question, how many cals do you consume perday? Protein Gs?

    I feel you man. I perfer eating some subway or panda express post workout than a protein shake (: even though you can make your own mass gainers by adding oatmeal/bananas/PB to your shakes (:

    Yeah I know.. after all it's a fast food job that i'm hoping to leave by next august, if it goes well i'll be ranking already in my course by June

    Thanks bro (:

    Yeah i'm up for his update too. I know life is hard sometimes and we all have flaws but everyone has positives that outweigh their flaws and everyone can make it far. I believe in him man, the guy I gave example of stutters unbelievably but dude's the most chill guy ever. Equinox is no excuse (:
    Right now I'm hanging around 3,300-3,500 and maintaining. Semi-recomp, but not really. Just trying to gain back some strength loss that occurred on my cut. My protein intake can vary depending on the day, honestly. Like the other day I was at 110g of protein and yesterday I hit 230g.

    Can't stand Subway lol, but Panda Express is no longer around where I'm at so I couldn't even get that if I wanted to. Regardless, there's been research that shows that if you've consumed protein at least a few hours prior to your workout, you don't really need a post workout meal immediately (I think you've got like 4-5 hours, which is a LOT of time). So for the most part, I just head home after a workout or go to class.

    If you're really looking for a good milkshake for gains, though... Hit up heavy cream. It's 50 cals per table spoon and can make your shake heavenly. I also use heavy cream when I cook mushroom sauce.

    There you go Don't fret about this place you're working at. None of those people are gonna' tag along when you leave.
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    IN.

    What TypeNirvash says about having to experience lows to really appreciate the highs is spot on. I'm normally a pretty positive person, but I went through a bout of depression in the summer where I was looking for work, girl issues, injury preventing gym, etc.. That was the lowest I've been and what I'm trying to say is that those experiences should be experienced with as much mindfulness as when everything is going well. When I say mindfulness, I mean being in the experience fully and trying to observe from an objective stand point (if you are normally positive, this isn't that hard) what is causing the depression and how to go about dealing with it.

    Meditation helps a lot if you are able to find some way you can do it well. (I just sit and try to empty my mind of chatter/thoughts, eventually get to a state of 'no-mind' where I believe the real healing begins).

    Kudos to OP for all the help to others.
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    Originally Posted by Milans03 View Post
    IN.

    What TypeNirvash says about having to experience lows to really appreciate the highs is spot on. I'm normally a pretty positive person, but I went through a bout of depression in the summer where I was looking for work, girl issues, injury preventing gym, etc.. That was the lowest I've been and what I'm trying to say is that those experiences should be experienced with as much mindfulness as when everything is going well. When I say mindfulness, I mean being in the experience fully and trying to observe from an objective stand point (if you are normally positive, this isn't that hard) what is causing the depression and how to go about dealing with it.

    Meditation helps a lot if you are able to find some way you can do it well. (I just sit and try to empty my mind of chatter/thoughts, eventually get to a state of 'no-mind' where I believe the real healing begins).

    Kudos to OP for all the help to others.
    Great post, man. Looking forward to seeing you in this thread.

    Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, and that you've come to the same conclusion I have through your experiences. 100% agree with the premise of this post.

    Have never really gotten into meditation, however! How often do you do it, and when did you begin?
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    Right now I'm hanging around 3,300-3,500 and maintaining. Semi-recomp, but not really. Just trying to gain back some strength loss that occurred on my cut. My protein intake can vary depending on the day, honestly. Like the other day I was at 110g of protein and yesterday I hit 230g.

    Can't stand Subway lol, but Panda Express is no longer around where I'm at so I couldn't even get that if I wanted to. Regardless, there's been research that shows that if you've consumed protein at least a few hours prior to your workout, you don't really need a post workout meal immediately (I think you've got like 4-5 hours, which is a LOT of time). So for the most part, I just head home after a workout or go to class.

    If you're really looking for a good milkshake for gains, though... Hit up heavy cream. It's 50 cals per table spoon and can make your shake heavenly. I also use heavy cream when I cook mushroom sauce.

    There you go Don't fret about this place you're working at. None of those people are gonna' tag along when you leave.
    Brooooooo if only I could eat that many calories! that's beast. srs. Nice I vary day by day too. Workout days I eat more protein and more carbs than when it's just cardio day.

    Eh I guess i'll stick for post-workout since a few hours before my workout would by maybe 2:30 AM lol. I go at 4:30 4:45 AM M,W,F.

    Heavy cream? Where do you buy that at? Is it like whip cream or something ? clueless lol never heard of that..

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    I ate a gas station pizza and drank a Mt. Dew not long ago. Was feeling pretty terrible about my decision, but this thread helped me conquer my overwhelming feelings of self loathing.

    Thank you, OP.
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    Great post, man. Looking forward to seeing you in this thread.

    Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, and that you've come to the same conclusion I have through your experiences. 100% agree with the premise of this post.

    Have never really gotten into meditation, however! How often do you do it, and when did you begin?
    I started mediating about 3 years ago. My frequency was a huge variant throughout most of them, I would only usually do it when I felt a pull to it (which were some of my best sessions). I would mainly do it as a healing process or to get grounded if I felt I was too up in my head, or too engaged with my emotions. I want to try to be more consistent now, as I know I can achieve a lot more than just healing/grounding. My goal is at least 3-4 times/week now.

    Let me know if you want me to elaborate, I can write a solid post on how I do it.
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    Originally Posted by 2010JW View Post
    Brooooooo if only I could eat that many calories! that's beast. srs. Nice I vary day by day too. Workout days I eat more protein and more carbs than when it's just cardio day.

    Eh I guess i'll stick for post-workout since a few hours before my workout would by maybe 2:30 AM lol. I go at 4:30 4:45 AM M,W,F.

    Heavy cream? Where do you buy that at? Is it like whip cream or something ? clueless lol never heard of that..

    True chit man (:
    In one of my past logs, I remarked that the goal was to build up enough muscle mass and find a routine that would allow me to eat a chit ton of calories. It worked

    The thing is, it took a lot to get there. But you'll be able to do it over time, don't worry! And woah... You hit the gym early, brah... Why so early? I can't even wake up at those hours if I wanted to.

    Heavy whipping cream can be found in all groceries! It comes in a carton a lot like milk, and it's like $3 for a quart. But it's worth it if you're in desperate need of calories. It is, however, mainly fat. Which is totally fine by me. Fat is good for regulating hormones and keeping you from getting ED

    Originally Posted by reddanak View Post
    I ate a gas station pizza and drank a Mt. Dew not long ago. Was feeling pretty terrible about my decision, but this thread helped me conquer my overwhelming feelings of self loathing.

    Thank you, OP.
    I'm not going to lie, I could do with a gas station pizza right now. The only thing you should feel ashamed of is that Mountain Dew. Have some Dr. Pepper next time, and you'll feel a lot better!



    Originally Posted by Milans03 View Post
    I started mediating about 3 years ago. My frequency was a huge variant throughout most of them, I would only usually do it when I felt a pull to it (which were some of my best sessions). I would mainly do it as a healing process or to get grounded if I felt I was too up in my head, or too engaged with my emotions. I want to try to be more consistent now, as I know I can achieve a lot more than just healing/grounding. My goal is at least 3-4 times/week now.

    Let me know if you want me to elaborate, I can write a solid post on how I do it.
    Would love to hear how you do it. It's always interesting to see how people keep themselves level. If you happen to have some time, I'd love to see how it works for you




    One thing I do to keep myself level at all times is engage in introspection throughout the day. I wouldn't quite liken it to meditating, but I'll ask myself questions as I experience emotions. If I'm mad, I'll ask myself why I'm feeling mad. When I answer that question, I begin to take on a new understanding of the situation. I'll then ask what I can do to make myself feel better, or how I can resolve the situation. I do this actively, so it's usually right in the moment and always helps to either settle things down or resolve my issues without escalating. It can be done with any emotion, too.
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    Would love to hear how you do it. It's always interesting to see how people keep themselves level. If you happen to have some time, I'd love to see how it works for you

    One thing I do to keep myself level at all times is engage in introspection throughout the day. I wouldn't quite liken it to meditating, but I'll ask myself questions as I experience emotions. If I'm mad, I'll ask myself why I'm feeling mad. When I answer that question, I begin to take on a new understanding of the situation. I'll then ask what I can do to make myself feel better, or how I can resolve the situation. I do this actively, so it's usually right in the moment and always helps to either settle things down or resolve my issues without escalating. It can be done with any emotion, too.
    Right on, I feel that's closer to what I do when I go in with an intention.

    Here's how I do it. I find the evening time the best for me. I sit with my legs crossed on my bed with my back against the wall (it's important to keep your spine straight during meditation). Like I said I use binaural beats (you can google "brain sync use headphones" to find some). Initially I take deep slow breaths (in through nose, out through mouth) and literally try to focus on every sensation in my body associated with this. This gives you something to focus on and slow your mind's thoughts. As well I try to observe the thoughts that come, but I don't invest in them (propel them) and if I find myself wandering I return to my breathing.

    The point is not to block these thoughts, but observe and let them pass. Usually about 15-20min into the meditation I'm not focusing on my breath anymore (a natural rhythm takes) and there are significant 'gaps' in thought (states of no-mind, or getting into a meditative state). Sometimes I push past this into a literal state of no-mind, I don't even have words to describe it, just no thought and you feel more connected to the whole. I essentially try to hold this state as long as I can or until the track finishes (usually 30min in length). When I am done, I always give my gratitude to the universe for the session and everything in my life (no care if hippie).

    I've had some crazy experiences where in that state of no-mind I would feel overwhelming joy and begin to cry. And regardless if I reach that state or not (its hard in the beginning and it doesn't always happen), I always feel super calm and grounded after a session.

    PS I think for you a good way to start would be to just do what you explained but incorporate what I've explained, give it a shot!
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    Originally Posted by Milans03 View Post
    Right on, I feel that's closer to what I do when I go in with an intention.

    Here's how I do it. I find the evening time the best for me. I sit with my legs crossed on my bed with my back against the wall (it's important to keep your spine straight during meditation). Like I said I use binaural beats (you can google "brain sync use headphones" to find some). Initially I take deep slow breaths (in through nose, out through mouth) and literally try to focus on every sensation in my body associated with this. This gives you something to focus on and slow your mind's thoughts. As well I try to observe the thoughts that come, but I don't invest in them (propel them) and if I find myself wandering I return to my breathing.

    The point is not to block these thoughts, but observe and let them pass. Usually about 15-20min into the meditation I'm not focusing on my breath anymore (a natural rhythm takes) and there are significant 'gaps' in thought (states of no-mind, or getting into a meditative state). Sometimes I push past this into a literal state of no-mind, I don't even have words to describe it, just no thought and you feel more connected to the whole. I essentially try to hold this state as long as I can or until the track finishes (usually 30min in length). When I am done, I always give my gratitude to the universe for the session and everything in my life (no care if hippie).

    I've had some crazy experiences where in that state of no-mind I would feel overwhelming joy and begin to cry. And regardless if I reach that state or not (its hard in the beginning and it doesn't always happen), I always feel super calm and grounded after a session.

    PS I think for you a good way to start would be to just do what you explained but incorporate what I've explained, give it a shot!
    Woah, that sounds pretty interesting. I've had experiences with binarual beats before, however, not for meditation purposes. This was a long time ago, though.

    Your method of meditation sounds fairly relaxing, and could be something I may want to try. It's always good to encourage introspection, but it's even better to be able to calm yourself and achieve balance. I believe that's the main focus of meditation, and could definitely help out any miscers who are trying to confront some of their demons.

    May give this a shot this weekend and report back



    By the by, I was thinking about getting into things to do on the weekend in this thread. Just suggestions for Miscers who are looking to put themselves out there. If you have any feel free to share, guys




    For me;

    This weekend I'll be going to Bear Mountain to participate in Oktoberfest with a group of friends and my SO. If you're in NY it's worth checking out I'm sure that there are things that are similar to it if you're not in NY, though!

    Next weekend I'm going to be building my Halloween costume. Does anybody have Halloween plans? If not, start now!
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    In one of my past logs, I remarked that the goal was to build up enough muscle mass and find a routine that would allow me to eat a chit ton of calories. It worked

    The thing is, it took a lot to get there. But you'll be able to do it over time, don't worry! And woah... You hit the gym early, brah... Why so early? I can't even wake up at those hours if I wanted to.

    Heavy whipping cream can be found in all groceries! It comes in a carton a lot like milk, and it's like $3 for a quart. But it's worth it if you're in desperate need of calories. It is, however, mainly fat. Which is totally fine by me. Fat is good for regulating hormones and keeping you from getting ED
    Is it in that thread on your sig? Reading through it. I'd love to be able to keep training heavy plus eating more

    Yeah I know it's early but it's awesome because most of the gym is empty. All the benches, squat racks and barbells are available so it's convenient. It took time and tons of will to wake up that early man. But it's worth it, I go with my brother who is training a mix of westwide, and 5x5 adding chains and bands to our lifts. It's helped so much, a year ago I was still a noob lifting slow and controlled and cables that got me nowhere. Now i'm so different from last year (: It's awesome because I have more time in the day too!

    Winter is coming, and i'm looking to add more calories to my diet for a clean bulk. Thanks for that heavy cream idea i'll add it to my diet.. more fats to my diet, and even for the ED lmao... last time I was with a girl I was a bit nervous and well ED happened and didn't come through till' the end, so here's to prevent that lol
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    Woah, that sounds pretty interesting. I've had experiences with binarual beats before, however, not for meditation purposes. This was a long time ago, though.

    Your method of meditation sounds fairly relaxing, and could be something I may want to try. It's always good to encourage introspection, but it's even better to be able to calm yourself and achieve balance. I believe that's the main focus of meditation, and could definitely help out any miscers who are trying to confront some of their demons.

    May give this a shot this weekend and report back



    By the by, I was thinking about getting into things to do on the weekend in this thread. Just suggestions for Miscers who are looking to put themselves out there. If you have any feel free to share, guys




    For me;

    This weekend I'll be going to Bear Mountain to participate in Oktoberfest with a group of friends and my SO. If you're in NY it's worth checking out I'm sure that there are things that are similar to it if you're not in NY, though!

    Next weekend I'm going to be building my Halloween costume. Does anybody have Halloween plans? If not, start now!
    World would be a different place if everybody did some sort of meditation, it's definitely contributed to my empathy for others.

    This weekend's pretty open for me. I like focusing on getting solid lifts in as weekends are the best time to practice oly lifting in a commercial gym lol.

    As for Halloween, gearing up for a rave; no idea what to wear costume wise, any ideas brahs?
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