Help! I've been binge drinking for 20 years and it's killing me... :/

[RustyCrayons]

1)100% believe that addictions are merely coping mechanisms -- therefore if you address the SOURCE of this, you will naturally moderate or quit the addiction. You need a good counselor though-like 20% are good so you might need to try a few if you need to. Go with someone who wants to help you deal with life/stress better rather than someone who wants to deal with the drinking. They will also support you and guide you in making the changes you want in your life.

2) Some people drink to calm down stress/anxiety/depression....so if you start taking great care of your body with diet and exercise, your brain will work better, and you'll be calmer and happier which will help you deal with the addiction. Take fish oil for depression. Moderate cardio really helps with stress. It also rebuilds neurons and builds up glutiathone in the liver which will detox you. Cruciferous vegetables also detox.

3) The hobby idea is great, if you start kayaking or surfing or something active, you'll want to take care of yourself. Or if you can find someone who can coach you through the life changes you want to make..those might end up being an inspiration in themselves. Sounds like you are interesting in following your own path on something

4) Try to stay away from those people/places if you really need to - try like 6 months and see how you feel

Hi nyabc,

Sorry I took so long to reply. I was busy getting my **** together! haha

I would have to say that I agree 100% with your first point. I use alcohol to cope with stress... and avoid thinking about the repercussions. I agree that good counselors are hard to come by, but have decided that maybe a "life coach" is more appropriate. Someone who considers more than just the "talk therapy" stuff... and can guide me in many areas to find a balance between all the areas. I agree that the drinking is just a symptom of underlying issues. In times of my life when I'm really smashing it and achieving goals, I don't drink because things are going so well!

The anxiety/stress/depressing cycle is very familiar. I agree entirely with this too. When I look after myself with a healthy lifestyle I'm less likely to succumb to the stress and also less likely to throw all the health gains I've made away with a night of foolishness. I've had success with oils for depression (namely, sleep... I used to get "night terrors" when I went through a divorce... it was horrible). Various nuts and seeds before bed also helped for the same reasons. This past few weeks I've been eating a stack of broccoli

In all honestly, yes... I'm a passionate guy and have some really strong convictions. I lack the confidence to push forward in a meaningful way but know it's only because I fear letting myself and others down if I lose the plot again. I kind of bounce from being dead set amazing, to being a total recluse and hide-under-the-table paranoid.

I've been trimming the fat lately... there are a lot of excess things in my life that I just don't need and they stress me to have to deal with them. Culling back a bit to find the room to breath! Focusing on what's important and damn the rest!

I appreciate your post... I really do mate. What you said stuck with me these past weeks so thank you very much

~ Rusty

[hawaiistack]

A.A.

.(.Alcoholics Anonymous, not Aaron Alagon the merciful mod).
When people are sick and tired, and willing to make the changes, they just do.
Willingness is the only price for admission.

[champ07]

If your drinking is once a month it is not an addiction.You have a drinking problem relating to the amount of consumption .Because you do not crave it ,why do it knowing what it leads to.Keep this mindset during times you are feeling like having a drink.Do something else instead.

[nyabc]

You know.. I totally get that variation between total momentum and ... a lack of it. I think it has to do with having a certain enthusiastic and creative yet sensitive type temperament and the great thing is that with someone behind you to guide you through the challenging parts, your natural enthusiasm and momentum will just take over.

I think a life coach is a great idea... I mean, in the end, a good coach/advisor/counselor will help you get your **** together and deal with stuff so whatever their title is.. find someone you like and trust.Use your intuition and don't be afraid to try a few. The great part is that if you just get a little guidance to get through some things, you'll end up with more things going your way, a support system, and maybe even you'll internalize some good ways to deal with things!

Its a virtuous cycle - as you get older, you get so much pride from success in your own path in life. My dad was very well-liked and social, and he partied (too much) until he was about 40. Then he threw himself into his business and later told me - all that partying seemed fun but it was a blur and mistake. I get the most satisfaction working hard and being successful.

Definitely just keep focused. Accomplishments lead to confidence, etc. I am doing the same. Super focused on work stuff. Just started swimming to round out my workouts (btw - best relaxant ever- if you have a pool at your gym you'll come out feeling CLEANSED)



Keep on the health thing - think of your body and nervous system like a highly responsive, delicate mechanism during these times and go the extra mile. Sleep especially is a MUST.

Finally - some physiology. Alcohol, in some people, causes a certain response in the nervous system over time ( google kindling ) Basically, when you are not drinking, its more reactive, anxious, irritable,stressed,etc.

It might be biological for you, not psychological, but you still have to deal with it through body and mind now that you've got it. It will heal and get better, but keep in mind the biological response after alcohol may actually be causing a lot of your symptoms. More reason to cut way back for awhile - maybe later you won't react like this, but for now do yourself the favor. Mentally you'll have more confidence just from the physiological state of being calm.

Look forward to your progress!

[mtcullen287]

Without knowing the totality of your situation it's hard to say. I don't know your history with alcohol or any other addictive substance for that matter but I know my own, and I know that I can't completely deprive myself of any one thing or it will become the object of my desire completely. Other people are different in their addictions. Can you do an experiment to try and have only 1-2 drinks on a random weekday? Might make it less tempting. Might not. As far as fitness goes, small goals are the only real goals. A large combination of small goals becomes a big goal before you know it. Force yourself onto a tight gym/kitchen plan for 14 days without cheating. By the third week it will feel more like a lifestyle. Good luck bro.