Help! I've been binge drinking for 20 years and it's killing me... :/

[RustyCrayons]

Why tell you here? Well... quite frankly, I see more self control, discipline and knowledge among those who've successfully mastered their bodies than any of the professionals in the fields specifically targeting alcoholism and dependency.

I've been training on and off since I was a teen. But at some point I developed a binge drinking habit, and I just can't seem to shake it. Obviously, the drinking severely hinders my fitness goals.

I have a very poor diet for weeks after a binge... put on a lot of weight and feel very depressed. It's taking longer and longer to get over a big night.

I drink maybe once a month... or every few months... depending on how I handle the stress in my life.

When I drink, I start mid afternoon and drink heavily into the early hours of the morning... whenever the pubs/clubs are closed. I'll usually consume between 40-50 standard drinks. (estimation only) I often smoke a few cigarettes too. And since I don't smoke usually, I find this gives me hell for the next few days (sore throat, colds etc) not to mention the horrible impact on my cardio fitness.

I'm getting weaker all the time... lacking motivation and my memory is getting worse too. I'm desperate to find a solution and I'm certain a massive part of it is going to be diet and body chemistry related. I liken it to a sugar addiction. But I just don't know how to balance that **** out.

Where do I start? I can take up a basic routine and get back into the fitness fairly quickly, but I want to figure out a solid approach to diet and nutrition which will help prevent cravings.

Before someone suggests it... I'm not looking for recommendations of AA or finding religion or some other crap. If I wanted that I'd be on a spiritual or psychology forum.

[sevenhm]

No one here can help you with binge drinking. Get professional help in person not a forum.

[RustyCrayons]

No one here can help you with binge drinking. Get professional help in person not a forum.

After 20 years, I've found no workable solutions through "professional" help. Hence my question here... Thanks for sharing your thoughts anyway.

[MrM27]

Honestly nothing anyone says here will have a long lasting impact on your drinking problem. If you really want to change then you will try and make it happen. Maybe the past attempts at getting help didn't work because you weren't ready. Maybe you still aren't ready but if you feel you are then it might be worth giving it another shot.

[RustyCrayons]

Honestly nothing anyone says here will have a long lasting impact on your drinking problem. If you really want to change then you will try and make it happen. Maybe the past attempts at getting help didn't work because you weren't ready. Maybe you still aren't ready but if you feel you are then it might be worth giving it another shot.

yes, yes... but this doesn't tell me any more about the HOW does it? Like, how do bodybuilders achieve such a high level of discipline? How does someone change their eating habits successfully? How does someone resist cravings? They're all skills and abilities I admire and need to confront my own problem... it's just that I'll be applying them to a slightly different issue.

Does that make sense?

[MrM27]

yes, yes... but this doesn't tell me any more about the HOW does it? Like, how do bodybuilders achieve such a high level of discipline? How does someone change their eating habits successfully? How does someone resist cravings? They're all skills and abilities I admire and need to confront my own problem... it's just that I'll be applying them to a slightly different issue.

Does that make sense?

How? By doing it, that's how. You don't have have your priorities straight, first worry about fixing your drinking problem then worry about what bodybuilders do.

The fact that you liken alcoholism to sugar addiction blows my mind.

[RustyCrayons]

How? By doing it, that's how. You don't have have your priorities straight, first worry about fixing your drinking problem then worry about what bodybuilders do.

The fact that you liken alcoholism to sugar addiction blows my mind.

Surely you can see there might be some tips and lessons I could learn from successful bodybuilders that would apply to another area.

Many addictions have similar patterns... how can you not see that?

[MrM27]

Surely you can see there might be some tips and lessons I could learn from successful bodybuilders that would apply to another area.

Many addictions have similar patterns... how can you not see that?

You might think that you can learn something from bodybuilders to apply to your situation but in reality they couldn't be further apart from each other. You are trying to take the methods some use to push their bodies to places it doesn't want to go and that's just the tiny percentage of people that try and succeed. Your situation is completely different.

I don't see it because I don't see it.

[RustyCrayons]

You might think that you can learn something from bodybuilders to apply to your situation but in reality they couldn't be further apart from each other. You are trying to take the methods some use to push their bodies to places it doesn't want to go and that's just the tiny percentage of people that try and succeed. Your situation is completely different.

I don't see it because I don't see it.

Good chat.

[desslok]

yes, yes... but this doesn't tell me any more about the HOW does it? Like, how do bodybuilders achieve such a high level of discipline? How does someone change their eating habits successfully? How does someone resist cravings? They're all skills and abilities I admire and need to confront my own problem... it's just that I'll be applying them to a slightly different issue.

Does that make sense?

Willpower

[Domicron]

Why not start by going to alcoholics anonymous meetings?

[RustyCrayons]

Why not start by going to alcoholics anonymous meetings?

I've been to hundreds... I've tried psychological counseling, hypnotism, rehabs, meditation, religion, replacement therapy, medication, nlp, philosophy and many other things I can't even remember. I've even tried just living with it... but the quality of life is low and quite frankly, I don't want to die yet.

How does one build the willpower? if that's all it is it takes to become an awesome bodybuilder? Is that all it takes?

[BGoodman88]

yes, yes... but this doesn't tell me any more about the HOW does it? Like, how do bodybuilders achieve such a high level of discipline? How does someone change their eating habits successfully? How does someone resist cravings? They're all skills and abilities I admire and need to confront my own problem... it's just that I'll be applying them to a slightly different issue.

Does that make sense?

For many people, the trick about resisting cravings, is not resisting them but to keep everything in moderation. When it comes to alcohol, that means it's perfectly fine to drink a beer or enjoy a glass of wine. Binge drinking is of course not part of moderation.

Judging by your first post "...depending on how I handle stress in my life...", binge drinking is not the actual problem but more like a symptom of a bigger problem. That's the problem that needs to be addressed, and for that professional help is recommended.

[ShyGuyXS]

I've been to hundreds... I've tried psychological counseling, hypnotism, rehabs, meditation, religion, replacement therapy, medication, nlp, philosophy and many other things I can't even remember. I've even tried just living with it... but the quality of life is low and quite frankly, I don't want to die yet.

How does one build the willpower? if that's all it is it takes to become an awesome bodybuilder? Is that all it takes?

No, it's not. There are many elements involved: personality (which includes the commitment to stay dedicated), support (from friends, family, etc.), nutrition, exercise, etc.

As for the drinking, the only piece of advice I can really give (besides finding a different approach with the professionals) is to limit your access - staying away from pubs, keeping it out of the home...

[Domicron]

really you have to keep looking for a good sponsor, keep looking for a better psychologist/therapist, keep asking people for help.

[alan aragon]

really you have to keep looking for a good sponsor, keep looking for a better psychologist/therapist, keep asking people for help.

^Good advice here, as well as the other posts recommending you seek professional help.

With that out of the way, I'll give you a little bit of my layman's take. What you can try to do is shift your focus. Change the direction you channel your stress & energy. You know objectively that binge drinking does not help with whatever you're dealing with in life. In fact, it makes things worse. Find a substitute for alcohol, and by substitute, I don't necessarily mean some other food or drink. I'm talking about a hobby or an activity that really engages you, fires you up, and fulfills you. The other thing you need to think about - perhaps the most important thing - is what it might be in your life that's driving you to use alcohol as an escape. Give this some thought so you can solve the root of the problem. In my opinion, your binge drinking is just a bandaid for the root of the core issues you need to fix in your life. Maybe you need a career change. Maybe you need to make major shifts in the relationships you have. That's my 2 cents.

[tucci420]

I've been there bro. Message me if you need anything.

[RustyCrayons]

For many people, the trick about resisting cravings, is not resisting them but to keep everything in moderation. When it comes to alcohol, that means it's perfectly fine to drink a beer or enjoy a glass of wine. Binge drinking is of course not part of moderation.

Judging by your first post "...depending on how I handle stress in my life...", binge drinking is not the actual problem but more like a symptom of a bigger problem. That's the problem that needs to be addressed, and for that professional help is recommended.

It seems that moderation is something I struggle with overall. When I train, I often train to extremes... same with changes in diet/lifestyle. But I generally bounce back into less than productive behaviors.

I see your point about the drinking not being the problem, but a symptom of something deeper. I'm thinking the therapy I've sought in the past hasn't really been focused on treating anything but the addiction. ie, abstain and you'll be right.

[RustyCrayons]

No, it's not. There are many elements involved: personality (which includes the commitment to stay dedicated), support (from friends, family, etc.), nutrition, exercise, etc.

As for the drinking, the only piece of advice I can really give (besides finding a different approach with the professionals) is to limit your access - staying away from pubs, keeping it out of the home...

I can see how these elements are important to both bodybuilding and achieving my intended goal (long term sobriety and dramatically improved health).

Yes, I find that staying away from pubs etc is the best prevention strategy I can find so far. I've even gone to the extreme of associating negative things to it when I pass them by. ie, the feeling of a hangover, or barfing, or loss of money or feelings of grief etc. Tends to work well when I do it.

[RustyCrayons]

^Good advice here, as well as the other posts recommending you seek professional help.

With that out of the way, I'll give you a little bit of my layman's take. What you can try to do is shift your focus. Change the direction you channel your stress & energy. You know objectively that binge drinking does not help with whatever you're dealing with in life. In fact, it makes things worse. Find a substitute for alcohol, and by substitute, I don't necessarily mean some other food or drink. I'm talking about a hobby or an activity that really engages you, fires you up, and fulfills you. The other thing you need to think about - perhaps the most important thing - is what it might be in your life that's driving you to use alcohol as an escape. Give this some thought so you can solve the root of the problem. In my opinion, your binge drinking is just a bandaid for the root of the core issues you need to fix in your life. Maybe you need a career change. Maybe you need to make major shifts in the relationships you have. That's my 2 cents.

I really get the sense that the idea of what a professional is in some places is dramatically different to others. :/ But none the less... I'm guessing the right (or a better) professional would prove quite invaluable. Better keep looking :/

And yes! This expanding of context is what's helped me in the past too. A bigger goal... something that just assumes sobriety and good health/nutrition habits... and engaging and inspirational. I'm thinking that "thing" for many of you is some form of exercise? I used to get into martial arts but I found all the spiritual stuff to be quite misleading and mystical.

The main issues in my life are probably not much different to the issues in other people's lives. The classic trio: health/wealth/relationships... and a seeming lack of time to make substantial changes in any one of them! Pressure, expectations, failure and grief from the constant loss.

I sometimes feel as though I want to take the risk and make some big changes... really do things the way I want them to be done. Live life on my own terms. But the potential to end up on the street and seriously struggle is very real. But at least then I'd have my integrity... right?

[RustyCrayons]

I've been there bro. Message me if you need anything.

Thanks mate... might just take you up on that one day

[MarkedLeader]

Pretty simple really, most the people youll talk to here are addicted to improving thier bodies and throw everyday to that pursuit.

The only way i can see that youll change is if something life changing happens to you, put it this way, i know plenty of smokers who quit after they got cancer, but by that time its too late.

Learn from other peoples experiences, id also reccomend trying new experiences and learning new things just to allow your mind to breathe.

[RustyCrayons]

Pretty simple really, most the people youll talk to here are addicted to improving thier bodies and throw everyday to that pursuit.

The only way i can see that youll change is if something life changing happens to you, put it this way, i know plenty of smokers who quit after they got cancer, but by that time its too late.

Learn from other peoples experiences, id also reccomend trying new experiences and learning new things just to allow your mind to breathe.

Thanks for that... I guess maybe I'm hoping to become addicted to something rather more healthy!

[StrikingMoose]

I have a very addictive personality. I was heavy into serious recreational drugs and spiraling down fast. The only thing that saved me was meeting my now wife. At the time right afee I met her I knew had to stop now. I could have a plugged nose/heart palpitstions for the rest of my life risk my career and respect among my social circle and family or I could quit hard turkey and turn my life around.

I am now happily married trying to have kids, amazing dog, I've become a jack of all trades with handyman stuff, have a beautiful house and yard and a great career. I needed something to pull me away from my lifestyle. If you're drinking only certain nights a week then plan some form of social group activity that you think you'd be really into and try it out until you get something that you absolutely love doing. Focus all your efforts immediately on studying that new craft or activity and force yourself to do things that place you nowhere near drinking.

Of course when it is time to stop drinking altogether (which is what it seems you need to do rather than just tone down. I don't think you can drink in moderation no offense) then I HIGHLY suggest going to a primary care physician (family dr) or somewheew recommended by AA meetings and give them a thorough honest no BS history of how long you have been drinking and exactly how much you drink (don't lie and be embarassed) because depending on the amount you will need some pharmacologic support to keep your body running normal and quit safely.

I am in health care and see alcoholics quit cold turkey often and withdrawals can be life threatening if you do not do it under the eyes of the health care system. We want to help you, do not feel bad telling health care anything this goes for anyone. People are always embarassed about their problems and leave them and they only get worse. There is 0 judgement in health care.


Get better m8. I never actually take time to post helpful responses anymore so it shows I care

[Domicron]

Thanks mate... might just take you up on that one day

why wait?

you came here looking for help with a problem and have received an offer; if i were you i'd PM him.

[watson503]

I was in the same boat but it was coke, took me nearly 20 years of going on weekly binges where I'd do as much as I could afford and then some, pissing-away all the gains I had made and laying there trying to sleep with my heart racing thinking how the hell am I going to cover all of that cash i just blew and why the hell do I keep doing this crap that's destroying me. Alcohol is even worse in some ways as it is not looked at as a drug, I recently lost two close friends due to their alcoholism - they were a married couple and drank themselves to death, both within months of each other. Cut-out all of the negative people in your life and focus on your goals and anything that gets in the way of you staying clean and achieving your goals, remove it from your life.

[RustyCrayons]

why wait?

you came here looking for help with a problem and have received an offer; if i were you i'd PM him.

Good point.

[RustyCrayons]

I was in the same boat but it was coke, took me nearly 20 years of going on weekly binges where I'd do as much as I could afford and then some, pissing-away all the gains I had made and laying there trying to sleep with my heart racing thinking how the hell am I going to cover all of that cash i just blew and why the hell do I keep doing this crap that's destroying me. Alcohol is even worse in some ways as it is not looked at as a drug, I recently lost two close friends due to their alcoholism - they were a married couple and drank themselves to death, both within months of each other. Cut-out all of the negative people in your life and focus on your goals and anything that gets in the way of you staying clean and achieving your goals, remove it from your life.

Sounds very similar... except for the laying awake bit... I'm usually passed out, and hoping I don't piss the bed when I wake up. (IF I wake up...)

[RustyCrayons]

I have a very addictive personality. I was heavy into serious recreational drugs and spiraling down fast. The only thing that saved me was meeting my now wife. At the time right afee I met her I knew had to stop now. I could have a plugged nose/heart palpitstions for the rest of my life risk my career and respect among my social circle and family or I could quit hard turkey and turn my life around.

I am now happily married trying to have kids, amazing dog, I've become a jack of all trades with handyman stuff, have a beautiful house and yard and a great career. I needed something to pull me away from my lifestyle. If you're drinking only certain nights a week then plan some form of social group activity that you think you'd be really into and try it out until you get something that you absolutely love doing. Focus all your efforts immediately on studying that new craft or activity and force yourself to do things that place you nowhere near drinking.

Of course when it is time to stop drinking altogether (which is what it seems you need to do rather than just tone down. I don't think you can drink in moderation no offense) then I HIGHLY suggest going to a primary care physician (family dr) or somewheew recommended by AA meetings and give them a thorough honest no BS history of how long you have been drinking and exactly how much you drink (don't lie and be embarassed) because depending on the amount you will need some pharmacologic support to keep your body running normal and quit safely.

I am in health care and see alcoholics quit cold turkey often and withdrawals can be life threatening if you do not do it under the eyes of the health care system. We want to help you, do not feel bad telling health care anything this goes for anyone. People are always embarassed about their problems and leave them and they only get worse. There is 0 judgement in health care.


Get better m8. I never actually take time to post helpful responses anymore so it shows I care

Thanks for your honest advice man. Drinking only once every month or so means I don't really suffer withdrawals though... except the shocking hangover that lasts 2-3 days. It's day 4 now and I'm still feeling seedy.

I can't drink in moderation. I've tried, and it usually only lasts a few days before I binge again. Then, of course there's the smoking and gambling. I'm also fairly sure caffeine and sugar addiction fits in there nicely somewhere too. Bit of a mixed bag really.

What really concerns me is that quitting alcohol is just not enough. I mean, I clearly have a coffee addiction and a sugar addiction too. (and when I drink it's usually sweet cola mixers with booze in them).

I don't think I can conquer the booze without also confronting the sugar/caffeine habit too. And that's tough! I mean, how on earth does a normal person stay awake and function without caffeine!!

In any case, I'm committed to the change so will be cleaning out the kitchen in short order. Will have to think of some substitutes. Lots of water and painkillers for the headaches lol

[nyabc]

1)100% believe that addictions are merely coping mechanisms -- therefore if you address the SOURCE of this, you will naturally moderate or quit the addiction. You need a good counselor though-like 20% are good so you might need to try a few if you need to. Go with someone who wants to help you deal with life/stress better rather than someone who wants to deal with the drinking. They will also support you and guide you in making the changes you want in your life.

2) Some people drink to calm down stress/anxiety/depression....so if you start taking great care of your body with diet and exercise, your brain will work better, and you'll be calmer and happier which will help you deal with the addiction. Take fish oil for depression. Moderate cardio really helps with stress. It also rebuilds neurons and builds up glutiathone in the liver which will detox you. Cruciferous vegetables also detox.

3) The hobby idea is great, if you start kayaking or surfing or something active, you'll want to take care of yourself. Or if you can find someone who can coach you through the life changes you want to make..those might end up being an inspiration in themselves. Sounds like you are interesting in following your own path on something

4) Try to stay away from those people/places if you really need to - try like 6 months and see how you feel