I have 3 IT technical interviews today - I'm the interviewer - Misc help me!!!! Ugh.
Good morning/afternoon/evening!
So I have to interview three final candidates for an IT spot we have open. I just received all three resumes and I'm baffled at how any of these clowns made it past HR and a Skype interview with a manager.
Resume 1) SEVEN pages long!!! Misspellings galore and it goes back 25 years to completely irrelevant information.
Resume 2) Has how much he wants paid/hr as his title
Resume 3) Starts off resume with "Brian is an IT specialist..." and his name is Michael.
WTF?!?! I'm moving to wherever these potatoes live to take the job.
Cliffs:
Op has to interview three duck feet lickers today
Op has no idea how they made it through the process with their chit resumes
Op is a confused *******
For your time...
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Results 1 to 30 of 105
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06-15-2015, 07:35 AM #1I'll kick your neck off
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I have 3 IT technical interviews today - I'm the interviewer - Misc help me!!!! Ugh.
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06-15-2015, 07:36 AM #2Retired Poster
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ironically that's one of the best ''for your time'' pics I've seen from an OP
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Mar 2014 - Dec 2015 crew
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06-15-2015, 07:36 AM #3Registered User
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my friend was reviewing cop applications and one guy listed winning the 8th grade spelling bee in the awards section.
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06-15-2015, 07:37 AM #4Registered User
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How come these are the best candidates that you could get?
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06-15-2015, 07:39 AM #5Registered User
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Can I apply, OP?
how much does the position pay? I want 100k
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06-15-2015, 07:40 AM #6Do I even lift?
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Seems like they're all goofs, whichever one is most proficient with computers seems like the only choice. That, or you could have them compete against each other in a wrestling match and whoever wins gets the job. That would probably save you the most time and be the most honest way of determining whose the best candidate.
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06-15-2015, 07:40 AM #7I'll kick your neck off
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Only the best for the Misc!Originally Posted by earwax
I'm sure that's in the seven pager somewhere...blah...Originally Posted by sgregor249
I have nothing to do with the process until they make it past HR and a manager interview over Skype - I'm completely baffled as to why I'm interviewing any of them. HR should have thrown their resumes in the trash.Originally Posted by EvertonFC2010
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06-15-2015, 07:42 AM #8
maybe they knew the dudes at HR and doing the skype interview
most jobs are from networking and knowing someone I guess
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06-15-2015, 07:43 AM #9Devil's Advocate
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I interviewed a candidate recently who listed "reading and cooking" as her hobbies.
So for general chit chat towards the end, I asked her what books she read.
"I haven't read a book for years".
So what about cooking?
"I dont cook much"
fml, 45mins of my life wasted.Get shredded or die mirn
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06-15-2015, 07:44 AM #10I'll kick your neck off
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Has to be the case!Originally Posted by euron
LMAO! At least you got lulz out of it...I can't wait to see how these interviews go.Originally Posted by mehcba
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06-15-2015, 07:49 AM #11Registered User
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Ask Michael if he could bring Brian with him.
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06-15-2015, 07:50 AM #12anonymousGuest
Test them on fizzbuzz
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06-15-2015, 07:52 AM #13I'll kick your neck off
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Maybe he's schizophrenic and so is he? Maybe he plans on phoning a friend when he needs help?Originally Posted by residesinAZ
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06-15-2015, 07:54 AM #14
They all sound fukn terrible. You have to pick one of the 3? The resumes sound worse than mine in highschool.
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06-15-2015, 07:59 AM #15Registered User
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Ask each one if they're aware?
You: Are you aware?
Them: Aware of what?
You: If you don't know you failed this interview.
Them: I-Im f-f-fuarking ZEBRAH
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06-15-2015, 07:59 AM #16TheGreatOne
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Gl op. Will sub for updates on these horrible interviews
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06-15-2015, 07:59 AM #17I'll kick your neck off
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Yes, I have to report back to the IT director which one did the best on the technical side of things.Originally Posted by Fishoilman
Examples on the seven pager...
"Manage own workload" - really?? You do YOUR work??? Fuk me...
"Looking at laptops and making sure everything works and testing the software" &
"Install all Windows updates on every laptops" - do you even English?? Good God...
"Assisted users in cutting the video" - What effing video??? You never mentioned a video! We don't even do video editing here!
"Assisted users in getting information on the internet" - So you set Google as their homepage - you're hired!!
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06-15-2015, 07:59 AM #18Registered User
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7 page guy is the easy winner. He knows that HR just searches for key words, so he put every last one of those key words in his resume.
USC-Cowboys
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06-15-2015, 08:06 AM #19Jerk'n since 13.
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Any chance HR is playing a joke on you?
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06-15-2015, 08:11 AM #20I am Bomani Jr.
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holy crap i lold hardOriginally Posted by martoch
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I make typos.
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06-15-2015, 08:11 AM #21Don't try. Do.
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Originally Posted by martoch
Good morning/afternoon/evening!
So I have to interview three final candidates for an IT spot we have open. I just received all three resumes and I'm baffled at how any of these clowns made it past HR and a Skype interview with a manager.
Resume 1) SEVEN pages long!!! Misspellings galore and it goes back 25 years to completely irrelevant information.
Resume 2) Has how much he wants paid/hr as his title
Resume 3) Starts off resume with "Brian is an IT specialist..." and his name is Michael.
WTF?!?! I'm moving to wherever these potatoes live to take the job.
Cliffs:
Op has to interview three duck feet lickers today
Op has no idea how they made it through the process with their chit resumes
Op is a confused *******
For your time...
Hire me. Just got my A+ and I can do most hardware, basic software and networking
Are you not entertained?
MFC #32
It's All About the U
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06-15-2015, 08:46 AM #22ESTJ Sentinel
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how much are you willing to pay for their position?
I keep pushing because I think I'm untouchable. But I'll learn the hard way because I'm only a popcorn fart away from a 30 day ban.
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06-15-2015, 08:50 AM #23Amazon Brah
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Can i interview for this position OP? lol @ their experience/skills listedOriginally Posted by martoch
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06-15-2015, 08:52 AM #24Amazon Brah
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No OP hire me i have my A+ and studying for my network+ and almost done with my MCITP Server admin for windows server 2008. Going to upgrade to 2012 as well and possibly finish my MCSE for server 2008.Originally Posted by omnip0tent
Hire me. Just got my A+ and I can do most hardware, basic software and networking**Los Angeles Misc Crew**
*INFJ Crew*
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06-15-2015, 08:53 AM #25Only Eyesthetics Matter
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Can confirm: I am resumes 1 and 2 (submitted two different ones to double my odds).
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06-15-2015, 08:53 AM #26not gonna make it
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ask them if they're aware
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06-15-2015, 08:53 AM #27mic dropper
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That 7 page guy must be the guy I just interviewed, lol.
How is A+ and Network+ still relevant when it wasn't even relevant when I started my career in 1999?Originally Posted by cphunter70
I don't think I would ever hire a technician in which that was his key qualifications.Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131498033
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06-15-2015, 08:58 AM #28Fuk I hope you called her out on it that is lulzy as hell.Originally Posted by mehcba
"Oh weird it just says you like to read and cook in your hobbies"
::berstare::
Sexual harassment lawsuit.
But yeah OP subtly call them out and report back to misc for lulz. "Hey nice to meet you, was it Brian?....oh Michael, strange it says on your resume...."---
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06-15-2015, 09:00 AM #29Amazon Brah
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Well you are old and the new requirements are these "certs" but experience always reign supreme. CompTia certs are valid for 3yrs and require re certification. I'm guessing too many "techies" who think they know their stuff just because they can build a pc, install windows and can remove a virus. Certs are good on resume but don't mean jack without actual experience.Originally Posted by pondus_levo
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06-15-2015, 09:07 AM #30I'll kick your neck off
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It appears that I'll be doing all three interviews tomorrow - I'll definitely report back!
I'll be perfectly honest - I got hired 9 years ago with my current company and I competed against 60 other applicants. I had ZERO certs or an IT degree, but 12 years of experience...and I aced the technical interview.Originally Posted by cphunter70
I don't want to turn this thread into an IT pissing match. Let's all be nerd friends.
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