Coming out as a virgin in my 30s

[GreenCalx]

Yep, another one of these threads coming out as a virgin. This is going to be a long one so giving you a heads up as a courtesy on what it will entail.

A little bit about myself: I'm 30 years old and I have the misfortune of still being a virgin to this day. I've never gone on a date, never went to prom, never hooked up with a chick while in undergrad at uni, had my first kiss when I was 24 at a New Year's Eve party overseas to a random girl, and I have never had a chick give me a blowjob or even a handjob. No woman has ever seen me naked. Basically, I've never gotten anywhere further than feeling a chick up while making out, and that was with a female friend (that no longer talks to me, go figure) with 38DD's almost 4 years ago. That's the closest I've ever remotely gotten to having sex. For ****'s sake I don't even know how to put on a condom correctly. I guess if you were to see me in person you probably wouldn't guess that I was, since I do go out from time to time (although not as much as I used to), appear to be social and often go to music festivals (recent one was Coachella in 2014). But in all reality though, beneath the facade I fallaciously display to people, I am a miserable person inside due to this stigma of being a virgin and lacking the ability to attract women. And it tears the living **** out of me. I have incredibly difficulty with women and no matter what and where I am, and even if I happen to share a lot of interests with her, I just cannot for the life of me seal the deal. I do have this fear of women, as I'm afraid of being aggressive with them. I don't want to be seen as a creep or a pervert or both by them, so I usually keep my distance and give them their space. When I'm out at gigs to see the acts I want to go observe (because being into music is one of my passions that I hold dear to), I am always out dancing on the dance floor (instead of standing around with arms folded like a disgusting creeper) because it's one of those things that I can truly find an outlet in, forget about my worldly concerns, and immerse myself into a never-ending world of hedonistic pleasure. So I don't bother dancing with women and often times I do my thing. Granted, I do go because I want to see the acts, but it would be nice if I had a girlfriend or got with a chick to share that pivotal moment with and look back upon it. This may seem pretty ****ing stupid to everyone here, but I wouldn't mind the chick taking photos of us at the show and even take "selfies". I often times end up going home solo and it's even worse at festivals. The last couple of times I went to Coachella, which we all know would be teeming with promiscuous women ready to get down and dirty, I tried my luck in using Tinder last year as I had just got my braces off and was super-confident that I could pull Coachella broads with ease. However, after the weekend was over, I had absolutely nothing to show for myself, and I had received no Tinder matches whatsoever. I had to deal with the fact that I'm an undesirable tard with no ability to attract women whatsoever. We all know that if you can't pull any matches on Tinder, you are indeed tainted and a lost cause. Granted I did have a good time at Coachella, but Goddamn it would have been nice to at least hooked up with some random festival broads while there. Everyone else has that luck and I don't. It's ****ing frustrating.

Guys who are much much younger than me obviously have better luck than I do, and I can't hate them for it, but it makes me hate myself even more. I basically feel like a cursed ogre. I understand people are going to say you have to be confident but one problem: how can you be confident if you don't have success with women? How can you feel confident when not a single woman even texts you or asks you to hang out with them or even have lunch with you? How can I feel confident when even majority of my female "friends" see me as an embarrassment? I had to deal with celebrating my birthdays on my own in the past, with my 30th being of no exception and the most painful.

To add, I've only opened up about my virginity to a few people I've known in the past 5 years, and all of them have been women. One of them was the one I made out and felt her up with as I described earlier in this post, which I did not expect and truth be told I was quite nervous as **** during the whole ordeal, but that's for another topic. There is absolutely no way I would ever tell any of my male friends about my virginity and lack of experience with women as I would be the laughing stock.

I'm not really sure what to do with myself at this point. I mean it's quite obvious no woman would want to **** a guy that hasn't gotten laid ever, even if I was hypothetically a smokin' hot guy (which I am not to begin with). Why would a woman want to **** a hot guy that hasn't had sex when there are plenty of other attractive men who hold more experience in bed and be more satisfying? I have trouble attracting younger women and I have just as much trouble attracting older women. Quite frankly I get tired of women who keep telling me that there will be someone out there for me (they only say that because they wouldn't be willing to hook up with me but will hook up with others, I hate dishonest women who pretend to be nice).

To give you an idea on my physical stats, I'm 5'6 and I weigh 149-153 lbs. I run 4-5 times a week at a local trail here (it's 7 miles round trip) in Dallas after I get off work to avoid traffic and to help improve my physical fitness as I have high cholesterol levels that I'm working to reduce. I am at 19% body fat percentage which most of it is in my midsection which I have worked hard to reduce but still a never-ending struggle. Yeah I suppose you can say I am built like a woman but I can't do **** about my height but I can do a lot about my weight and physique. There's nothing I would love more than being defined and ripped to attract women and somehow get over my nerves when dealing with women.

Sorry for the rant, and the unusual first post/thread to make here. I fully expect I'll get clowned on and ridiculed, but it's better for it to happen from people I don't know on an online forum vs. doing so on your personal ******** account and incurring the wrath of everyone on there. It seems like coming out as a gay man is far easier than coming out as a male virgin. I'm pretty sure any female posters will poke fun at me for my virginity too so I fully expect the onslaught I will incur as a result.

Cliffs:

First post
30 year old virgin
inexperienced
frustrated
have trouble attracting women
trouble being confident when you can't attract women

[cmml]

Bang a prostitute.

[GreenCalx]

Bang a prostitute.

Thought about hitting up an escort. **** I even considered hitting up an escort agency overseas if I go travel. But even if I did, it unfortunately wouldn't solve my anxiety and fear of women in the end.

[BoiStory]

=\
You seem like a nice guy
I hope things get better for you
You have to just talk to more girls..all you can do. Just suck it up and do it.

[mlgpro]

How is your physical appearance? Ie the face.

[Ted Nugent]

But even if I did, it unfortunately wouldn't solve my anxiety and fear of women in the end.

how do you know that? you've never even fuked one

you need to either bang a hooker or find a sloot or whatever, once you bang your first time and get a few more under your belt you'll have some mojo

srs, dick down a few skanks and your outlook will change

[Changedmalife]

thus a new copy pasta was given to us on the 28th day by OP

[WrinklyGrandma]

30?!

Congrats bro. You made it.

[TeamNoChest]

strong misleading thread title..had to take my c0ck out for it...strong new copypasta.

[Tayraffic]

Op, that's a long ass post but on the off chance that you're being srs, I'll read it later. But u gotta start doing something today brah. Bang someone. Anyone. Just get that chit outta your system. 100% SRS

[GreenCalx]

=\
You seem like a nice guy
I hope things get better for you
You have to just talk to more girls..all you can do. Just suck it up and do it.

I appreciate the kind words bro. Trust me, I do talk to more women. Every time I'm at a show or DJ gig, I'm always socializing with women especially when it comes to the topic of music as I am deeply into it. I just can't get myself to peak their interest no matter what. It's frustrating if you go to a underground house or techno gig or even an indie show and you meet a chick or two that shares the same passion in music as you do but for some reason they won't hook up with you but would rather hook up with the next guy with a manbun or what not.

How is your physical appearance? Ie the face.

I have a youthful and more oval face, been constantly told I look 18-20 and it irks me but I try not to let it get to me. I had a much more defined face a couple of years ago when I was in the mid teens as far as body percentage is concerned, which is what I'm aiming for.

how do you know that? you've never even fuked one

you need to either bang a hooker or find a sloot or whatever, once you bang your first time and get a few more under your belt you'll have some mojo

Has anyone who resorted to losing their virginity to a hooker around my age feel satisfied in the end?

It just seems like too easy of a way out. So I **** a few hookers, does that solve my inability to attract women? Not at all. It's merely a band-aid at this point, doesn't seem to solve the root cause.

[adi4fitness]

Its not a big deal man. Work on yourself first, If you cant be happy , secure and confident by and with yourself and actually like yourself don't expect a woman to do that for you.

I am a virgin too , But let me tell you one thing , never ever admit you are a virgin to a woman. They just cant handle that chit. Lie your ass off. most if not all have their own chit load of baggage to deal with , they are not your therapist for you to dump your chit on them.

The moment you hire an escort/prostitute you are admitting your uselessness as a man and any and all semblance of self worth/pride/ego will be gone... you will know it if no one else does.

Some things take effort , A lot more effort for some than others .

Doesn't mean you give up. As long as you are not dead , You have a chance.

[HMFIC_BROWSIN]

Do you drive a black BMW?

[GreenCalx]

Op, that's a long ass post but on the off chance that you're being srs, I'll read it later. But u gotta start doing something today brah. Bang someone. Anyone. Just get that chit outta your system. 100% SRS

I would not have spent the time posting such a long diatribe if I wasn't serious bro. And trust me man, I've been trying to hook up with a random broad. It would make my dream come true if an older woman took my virginity away from me but that's a distant dream at this point lol

[DaddyPatty]

I didn't read this post because it doesn't really matter.

Life is legitimately unfair, the only way to make things better is to continue to work hard and do the best you can in everything.

I'm sure you have really had some seriously unfair circumstances that have affected your life. But they don't really matter anymore. You have to wake up tomorrow morning and accept that from here on out, nothing that happened in the past really matters, and only what you do today will have any effect on your future from here on out.

Unless you're absolutely hideous, you shouldn't be that repulsive to women. You're probably just scared of talking to them and have low self confidence.

[Ted Nugent]

It just seems like too easy of a way out. So I **** a few hookers, does that solve my inability to attract women? Not at all. It's merely a band-aid at this point, doesn't seem to solve the root cause.

it has nothing to do with your appearance and all the other sh*t youre trying to micromanage. ugly dudes get laid every dam day because they have confidence and game. youre overthinking things way too much, bang some chicks to get past that mental block, will be a weight off your shoulders, then work on social skills

[Psychotropic]

Thought about hitting up an escort. **** I even considered hitting up an escort agency overseas if I go travel. But even if I did, it unfortunately wouldn't solve my anxiety and fear of women in the end.

yeh it's not a magic pill but you might learn or discover something. It might motivate yourself to improve. It's something different and out of your comfort zone. Remember OP if you do want to change it will be a process of trial and error with inevitable failures. And that's how people usually grow

[GreenCalx]

Do you drive a black BMW?

LOL nope, and I'm not in Cali either haha

[Getter_done]

Maybe ur gay? not trying to hate but maybe theres some deep seeded issue.

[GyMoneyGirls]

Wait 30? isnt that the age where if you are virgin you can literally see the matrix as god has chosen you to lead the revolution as you are untainted by the sins of sex?

Lead us to glory untainted brah and usher in a new world of productivity

[Tayraffic]

I would not have spent the time posting such a long diatribe if I wasn't serious bro. And trust me man, I've been trying to hook up with a random broad. It would make my dream come true if an older woman took my virginity away from me but that's a distant dream at this point lol

Look man, obviously this whole virgin thing is bothering you. Bang an escort. The point is to get it out of ur system. In the mean time, work on self-improvement. Lift, work on ur social skills, dress better, get a better job and become financially independent.

[GreenCalx]

I'm sure you have really had some seriously unfair circumstances that have affected your life. But they don't really matter anymore. You have to wake up tomorrow morning and accept that from here on out, nothing that happened in the past really matters, and only what you do today will have any effect on your future from here on out.

Unless you're absolutely hideous, you shouldn't be that repulsive to women. You're probably just scared of talking to them and have low self confidence.

I've been burned badly by women in the past, and it does affect me to this day. And it still affects how women perceive me. I work hard not to make a ****ty impression of myself to women, and I work twice as hard not to embarrass my female friend when she introduces me to her friends (which ultimately often ends in failure in the end as I somehow lose appeal to them). It's incredibly difficult to increase self-confidence when women will burn me when the opportunity presents itself (while masquerading themselves as the nice wholesome women they project themselves to be).

I don't want to be that typical bitter guy that is undoubtedly hateful towards all women and become incredibly bitter, so in spite of all the **** that women did to me in the past, I've kept a lid on it somehow.

[iWantToGrow]

[GreenCalx]

Maybe ur gay? not trying to hate but maybe theres some deep seeded issue.

I'm not gay lol I am not attracted to men at all to begin with. My dick only gets hard when hot chicks are present so that affirms my heterosexuality.

[cjr169]

It's a numbers game bro. Start mass approaching women eveywhere and hone your social skills. "Hey how you doin" at the grocery store, "****ing great weather today huh?" while getting a coffee. See who is receptive and branch it out further.

You want that girl well you'll never know until you say hello. Unless your ****ing brad Pitt hardly anyone walks up to the first hot chick they see and seals the deal. Go out every weekend and set a goal of trying to approach a specific number of girls. Eventually the anxiety Will fade.

You'll make it bro.

[xavengedx23]

It's a numbers game bro. Start mass approaching women eveywhere and hone your social skills. "Hey how you doin" at the grocery store, "****ing great weather today huh?" while getting a coffee. See who is receptive and branch it out further.

You want that girl well you'll never know until you say hello. Unless your ****ing brad Pitt hardly anyone walks up to the first hot chick they see and seals the deal. Go out every weekend and set a goal of trying to approach a specific number of girls. Eventually the anxiety Will fade.

You'll make it bro.

Hey how the fu*k are ya?

[Ted Nugent]

I've been burned badly by women in the past, and it does affect me to this day. And it still affects how women perceive me. I work hard not to make a ****ty impression of myself to women, and I work twice as hard not to embarrass my female friend when she introduces me to her friends (which ultimately often ends in failure in the end as I somehow lose appeal to them). It's incredibly difficult to increase self-confidence when women will burn me when the opportunity presents itself (while masquerading themselves as the nice wholesome women they project themselves to be).

I don't want to be that typical bitter guy that is undoubtedly hateful towards all women and become incredibly bitter, so in spite of all the **** that women did to me in the past, I've kept a lid on it somehow.

translation:
-you let yourself be weak/vulnerable, and felt the consequences of that

literally every guy in the world has had a sloot play evil tricks on him, youre not the first or last to experience, dont turn it into some romantic tragedy, sloots finna sloot

sounds like you have a major case of putting pussy on the pedestal, bang a chick doggystyle then bust a nut on her titties/face and you'll see the world in a whole new light. brooding over "getting burned by chicks" is for *******s, you'll get nowhere doing that, you need to do something which you havent done thus far (aka bang sloots) if you expect different results

[GreenCalx]

It's a numbers game bro. Start mass approaching women eveywhere and hone your social skills. "Hey how you doin" at the grocery store, "****ing great weather today huh?" while getting a coffee. See who is receptive and branch it out further.

I know what you mean man, but it just seems so undeniably forced to me. I can approach women, but only when I feel it is the right opportunity to small talk. I have better luck talking to women at music venues than anywhere else though, because that's where my star shines for the most part.

You want that girl well you'll never know until you say hello. Unless your ****ing brad Pitt hardly anyone walks up to the first hot chick they see and seals the deal. Go out every weekend and set a goal of trying to approach a specific number of girls. Eventually the anxiety Will fade.

You'll make it bro.

I go out when I can, but I usually go out on my own when I do though. I have musical tastes that don't really appeal to the masses (my username alone would give a hint to anyone that's int he know) and I'd rather hang out at clubs that play underground house and techno than "EDM" and hip-hop (no venues here would ever play alternative hip hop or British hip hop as that's what I fancy a lot).

It's also the lack of companionship that is also driving me nuts as well.

[Pimpus]

At least you have good taste in music, judging by your name. Don't sweat it, you can live a happy life without sex. Some people are just not meant to be with women, idk about you but me I've accepted that my physical appearance is beyond redemption, and even if I can go from a 1/10 to a 5/10 it still won't give me access to any woman worth banging. Sorry brah but some people get dealt a bad hand in life, but personally when I'm a virgin in my 40s im not gonna be a sad kunt about it, because I don't think it defines me at all or affects my life in any way.

[k1ngkung]

what do you mean your female friends see you as an embarrassment? as in you looks? as in awkward socially?