Need Motivation, Giving Up

[samueljamez]

All right, guys.

I'm gonna keep this nice and short (so I won't annoy any quick reading people out there)
Can something help me out? I've been through ****holes, one after the other and I am tired of it

Years and years of bullying, for being overweight, a nerd, whatever ... I got tired of it ... wanted to change and started a diet and workout program.
The problem, I ended up being anorexic. From one hell hole to the next.

In summary, ended up fighting that brain of mine for 3 years, and it wasn't easy ... especially when everyone else found out and have been bullying me more for being like a freak, even made a ******** page out of me and everyone who I thought was friends, they rejected me and left me alone because they thought I was a psycho. Parents were under shocked and have been harsh to me and did not understand the pressure I was in, so they were out and not to mention the psychologists ... $70 per hour of pure waste.

Long story short, I have had enough. Enough people pushing me around, or beating me up, or parents yelling at me, giving me guilt .. and started training for MMA ... always loved the martial arts. I felt like a real beast

Two years trying hard to train, coping with life, job and now I'm in University
Had good goals, pushed my limits, managed to get to fighting shape and good diet, but hard to cope with everything else


My trainer is now gone, said he had other stuff to do, so I'm on my own. My waiter job is not enough to get me some decent money, cannot trust my parents, especially after what happened during my ED stuff, and University is a pain in the ass.
And trying really hard to cope with everything and training ... it became my passion. But now I've got the flu, it's been two weeks now, and I feel my motivation, for training, for studying, for everything really, just gone. Like a burnout, I've had been burned out before, but not like this.
I've had nobody to believe in me but myself, been pushing through hell and now I just been so much pain and feel I cannot do any longer

I feel so much shame to myself, and I feel useless. I have gotten this far, pushed myself through a lot for the past 5, or 6 years, now I feel ... none.

Can someone please help a brother out? Thanks

[option2]

Pick your head up and hang in there bro. I can't tell you how bad I wanted my life to just end, no matter what just keep fighting, dig as deep as you have to to get through it. I'm only 26 years old and i battled being over weight, a hardcore heroin addiction, watching my father die of cancer and you know what? None of it was easy but by god it made me who I am today, there's nothing this world can throw at me that I can't handle. You can get through anything man, just keep on trucking and your eye on the prize. use all the pain/saddness to fuel you, to drive you to go farther and harder then ever before. Think of all the motherf*ckers you have to prove wrong and how goddamn good it will feel to do just that.

[metal.days]

Man its hard to go through these forums without reading people's stories and not having the heart to reply/cheer up.

My man, Buddha said "No one can save us but ourselves." Look to no one - you are the creator of your own destiny. Screw the past. Screw the people who bullied you - hold them NO grudge, but forget them. Every day is a new chance. You will get there.

[exyl]

Misc will take care of you brah, ignore the haters - haters gonna hate.

Use that wicked past of yours to fuel you in the gym.

Strong hatred gains.

You can do it brah, you're gonna make it.

I've been working out for 6 mo. And I'm doing it man. Just don't ever give up . It will be worth it, I promise.

Keep your head up OP.

[jamesjfitness]

My friend i understand youre frustrated. But i think youre frustration comes partly from thinking you'll train and suddenly life will change. Chances are if all these people target you, you probably show signs of insecurity. If you change your body and not your confidence levels nothing will change. Work on feeling proud to be yourself. Of who you are. Train because you want to for you. Not as a way for people to leave you alone. But never give up... and people will laugh at me ut seriously. Turn to god... the gym is only
Part of it. Good luck and god bless

[rayray905]

one.step.at.a.time. tomorrow, kill it at the gym and act like a ****in beast as you leave the place. Thats all you need to do. Again, ONE.STEP.AT.A.TIME.

[FakCardio]

Sounds like you got too much on your plate bro. Think of life like this- job and a hobby.. School being your job at the moment, your priority, and pick one hobby you enjoy that fits in to your schedule. Like maybe lifting and mma a bit much on your plate. Like I've had moments in my life where I had too much chit going on and it became that my hobbies and stress relievers were causing me more stress trying to balance em all. So Ive learned to pick one and go at it hardcore. Don't think I hit the nail on the head here but maybe it will help. As far as losing weight if your struggling with that and it's not bringing you happiness then focus on powerlifting and become a beast, it's alot less stressful, I eat what I waana eat and out lift all the ripped up model looking guys in the gym, I've had many people tell me I need to cut, need to trim BF so I'd look jacked. Fck em, I enjoy being strong and getting big gains and will continue to gain weight and power lift. I lift for strength and enjoyment not to be in a magizine. Stay strong bud life gets easier mentally as you age, things become clearer and alot of the bad chit seems less important