[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part II

[EmperorRyker]

Do any of you brahs turn to food for comfort?? There was a time when I resented fat people for turning to food but i talked to my coworker (she's fat), about how I am feeling and that on the shytty days i turn to junk food to cheer me up but the opposite actually happens after downing a couple of thousand calories of fatty and sugary stuff. She told she too did the same thing but it only made situations even more bad.

I do, unfortunately. I've slowly started developing a food obsession and an eating disorder when I started lifting, and for the past couple of years it seemed food was the only thing that would make it bearable for me to make it through the day. This dependence on it got stronger and stronger until last November I got injured. Coupled with other stress in life, this pushed me to my first binges until a couple of weeks later I had full-blown bulimia (purging through exercise, not vomiting) that I still can't get out of. In the past month, I've gained more than 15 lbs by binging around 20 times in 30 days and it has pushed me closer toward suicide than ever. Before this whole thing I could at least look at myself in the mirror, but now I'm back to being chubby and it's killing me. I've been having thoughts of suicide for years, but never anything concrete and it was more about life being meaningless than wanting to die. Now it's different and I started looking up how to end it.

I can also relate to you for resenting fat people and I'm also in a situation where I see myself turning into one unless this somehow stops. My advice to you would be to try and break this before it becomes a habit. When you get to that stage the urges are going to consume you and it's going to be much harder to break. I've always had a lot of willpower, I've been successful academically, I was able to make myself go to the gym for 7-8 years even though I hated it, I had no trouble pushing through a diet, but now the harder I push the harder it pushes back and I just cave in.

And yeah, that feeling of guilt is insane. The worst part, though, is that you know that's how it's going to be, yet you still go for food.

[hidingwithmusic]

My neck still ain't 100% but getting better everyday. I passed my first college algebra test with a B. I was actually bummed bc the first test is always the easiest from the semester. I put in more and more effert to do well for this next test on thursday. I went at least 20 hours since last Wednesday with practicing problems. So I feel really really good about this next test. I want an A but I'm okay with another B.

[bongowongo]

Dem feels coming over again. Wish something would just off my life seriously, everything is pointless. Dont think I'll ever make it, even if I try I'll just fail as usual.

[smitty2250]

ayo haven't been miscing in a couple years but have declined pretty hard
drugz and cutting and all that chit had enough man life is just one giant punch in my tiny ******* dik
drink too much beer and eat too much bs am kinda fat just don't care anymore wanna die

[Deathstroke]

I'm getting there!

[BigTimePlayer]

ayo haven't been miscing in a couple years but have declined pretty hard
drugz and cutting and all that chit had enough man life is just one giant punch in my tiny ******* dik
drink too much beer and eat too much bs am kinda fat just don't care anymore wanna die

Hey brah, I remember you from a few years ago, was wondering what happened to you. Sorry to hear you're not doing well. Hopefully you can figure things out & get on a better path. Have you tried seeking help at all since it seems you're dealing with a lot currently.

[BigTimePlayer]

Dem feels coming over again. Wish something would just off my life seriously, everything is pointless. Dont think I'll ever make it, even if I try I'll just fail as usual.

I've been dealing with those same thoughts almost daily lately. **** sucks so bad man. I sometimes even say out loud wishing someone would just kill me already or that I would just die. I feel like I have too many issues to go on at times. Of course I'd never do anything to hurt myself but just the frustration & pain of dealing with so many problems just gets to me a lot.

[CrazySerbian]

2 bad days in a row after a month of doing OK. Sucks.

[CrazySerbian]

ayo haven't been miscing in a couple years but have declined pretty hard
drugz and cutting and all that chit had enough man life is just one giant punch in my tiny ******* dik
drink too much beer and eat too much bs am kinda fat just don't care anymore wanna die

What's going on brah? I remember that post you made about overcoming social anxiety a while ago. You're a sick kunt brah don't give up.

[smitty2250]

Hey brah, I remember you from a few years ago, was wondering what happened to you. Sorry to hear you're not doing well. Hopefully you can figure things out & get on a better path. Have you tried seeking help at all since it seems you're dealing with a lot currently.

been to the docs a few times but I don't really know what to do or say. those hopeless feels are really strong, just constant feeling of sadness and frustration I guess

What's going on brah? I remember that post you made about overcoming social anxiety a while ago. You're a sick kunt brah don't give up.

hey man, so many things that have built up really. Now I'm at the point of not really going out and dont have any contact with people other than fortnightly hello from old friend or when i'm at work. Lack of motivation to do anything eeeh. In a real big slump

[Smashiin]

Smitty, you must be truthful with your doctor and hold nothing back. He can't help you if you won't talk about your problems and be truthful and don't lie. What's worse; suicide or some medication to keep your **** in check and live a better life because of it? You don't have to be on meds forever. Just for the time being before you start getting better.

[bongowongo]

I've been dealing with those same thoughts almost daily lately. **** sucks so bad man. I sometimes even say out loud wishing someone would just kill me already or that I would just die. I feel like I have too many issues to go on at times. Of course I'd never do anything to hurt myself but just the frustration & pain of dealing with so many problems just gets to me a lot.

Yep.. Except i just punched myself in the face yesterday (dont even ask why lol) and now today my jaw hurts. First time I ever did that, guess the frustration and anger got to me. Sigh

[SkullCore]

When I'm happy no fuks given and I really don't need people. Man but.. I hate this feeling, when I get depressed wish I wasn't a loner and everything becomes so overwhelming. Fuking sucks, makes me even miss my ex gf sometimes.. only when I get depressed though. This is frustrating

[smitty2250]

drinking way too much work in a few hours fuk im going to be smashed

hopefully i crash on my way there

[BigTimePlayer]

drinking way too much work in a few hours fuk im going to be smashed

hopefully i crash on my way there

You should call out of work instead of risking getting into a bad accident. You could also possibly get innocent people hurt by driving drunk.

[BigTimePlayer]

Yep.. Except i just punched myself in the face yesterday (dont even ask why lol) and now today my jaw hurts. First time I ever did that, guess the frustration and anger got to me. Sigh

Damn brah I wouldn't do that again. It could only cause more problems for you which you don't need.

[SomedayIllBeMe]

When I'm happy no fuks given and I really don't need people. Man but.. I hate this feeling, when I get depressed wish I wasn't a loner and everything becomes so overwhelming. Fuking sucks, makes me even miss my ex gf sometimes.. only when I get depressed though. This is frustrating

Be wary of this. In my experience, loneliness will make you become kind of hyper sensitive to attention/affection because you've been deprived of it. That's why you feel like you miss your ex, because she used to give you attention/affection and in your loneliness you crave it. You probably don't actually miss her though, just how she made you feel. You should seek to satisfy this need in a constructive way (go make friends/find a new gf, albeit much easier said than done).

[300BLK]

Just ordered my new supplement Monday from a website, paid extra for a 2 day shipping, which should of came in today, but tracking says it won't get here till Friday. FML.

[SkullCore]

Be wary of this. In my experience, loneliness will make you become kind of hyper sensitive to attention/affection because you've been deprived of it. That's why you feel like you miss your ex, because she used to give you attention/affection and in your loneliness you crave it. You probably don't actually miss her though, just how she made you feel. You should seek to satisfy this need in a constructive way (go make friends/find a new gf, albeit much easier said than done).

Ye brah but I actually enjoy being alone. Idk how to explain it, I'm not close to anyone and that's fine but when something happens yea.. Weird thing to explain. People liking me is not a problem I guess but I just rather be alone until I get fuked up over something

[EmperorRyker]

Smitty, you must be truthful with your doctor and hold nothing back. He can't help you if you won't talk about your problems and be truthful and don't lie. What's worse; suicide or some medication to keep your **** in check and live a better life because of it? You don't have to be on meds forever. Just for the time being before you start getting better.

I will say that the one thing, irrational or not, that I have against meds is that I'm afraid they're going to change me. I don't care what they do to my body, but the brain is a different matter altogether. I would rather be dead than turn into a religious person, for example.

That said, I'd still recommend meds to anyone if other things aren't working, because even though some people are against them, trials do show positive results when compared to placebo (different results with different ones and different diseases, of course).

[Deathstroke]

I enjoy company, but as an introvert I do need my space and privacy to recharge so to speak. Too much can get to be hard as I feel I need to keep whomever I am with (in a setting where I have a choice to be around others) occupied and entertained.

[maplestreet]

Do any of you brahs turn to food for comfort?? There was a time when I resented fat people for turning to food but i talked to my coworker (she's fat), about how I am feeling and that on the shytty days i turn to junk food to cheer me up but the opposite actually happens after downing a couple of thousand calories of fatty and sugary stuff. She told she too did the same thing but it only made situations even more bad.

Honestly I eat much less when I am down, lost about 10 pounds in 2 weeks my last 'bout'.

[ZyraThornrise]

Headaches are becoming more and more frequent, as of late. Blindness in my right eye made it to where I can't drive anymore.
Really messing with me being able to get things done.

Still no word on when I'll be able to get my surgery. Apparently my GP is being difficult with the Mayo Clinic about releasing my records, so it's really setting stuff back.

I just want this chit over and done with so I can move on and live semi-normal.

[SkullCore]

Headaches are becoming more and more frequent, as of late. Blindness in my right eye made it to where I can't drive anymore.
Really messing with me being able to get things done.

Still no word on when I'll be able to get my surgery. Apparently my GP is being difficult with the Mayo Clinic about releasing my records, so it's really setting stuff back.

I just want this chit over and done with so I can move on and live semi-normal.

Frequent headaches and blindness in an eye is usually due stress, I know this cause I had it about a year ago. You needa go to the doctors for it breh, get on some medication or try by yourself reduce the amount of stress in your life although yea sometimes seems impossible you can do it.

[ZyraThornrise]

Frequent headaches and blindness in an eye is usually due stress, I know this cause I had it about a year ago. You needa go to the doctors for it breh, get on some medication or try by yourself reduce the amount of stress in your life although yea sometimes seems impossible you can do it.

No, it's due to the tumors I've got.
Undergoing treatment for it, just waiting on the docs.

[SkullCore]

No, it's due to the tumors I've got.
Undergoing treatment for it, just waiting on the docs.

Try to stay positive, I know it sounds cliché but it's better than sitting around being sorry for yourself and everything that's happening. Maybe driving might not be the best idea atm but I understand so just be careful with it, my best wishes for ya

[cupcakekid]

Pretty sure I hit my bottom. Primarily from letting others influence my self worth. Gained 35 pounds in the last year, stopped MMA and lifting, angry, not where I want to be career wise.

But I do see a path forward to success. Pretty sure my talents are being recognized by partner companies and other departments, girlfriend loves me, and I know I am mentally much more prepared to handle depression than what I was 5-10 years ago when I let it take control.

I do really well at holding myself accountable to goals I set at work, but struggle with goals for myself. Any tips?

[Ricky_k]

I do really well at holding myself accountable to goals I set at work, but struggle with goals for myself. Any tips?

I've had success with www.chains.cc and a whiteboard in my room.

[Deathstroke]

I do have ONE big problem these days, but otherwise my life my summer has been more of less one of normalcy. I had the best week ever with family in fact. my daughter, my cousins, nephews, aunts and everyone was here and that was what I needed. We were celebrating my moms birthday mostly and 4th July early since everybody work close to the actual 4th. Any of you ever have a problem you're embarrassed to talk about?

[BigTimePlayer]

Having such a horrible day today. On my way to work today I was screaming in my car why I couldn't just die already. I just have so many damn problems all at once. Some that aren't exactly related to mental health but do affect me mentally due to worrying about them. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. My situation right now is so complicated that I just don't know what to do.