[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part II

[2RDEYE]

really want to get a job so i can do something instead of sleeping and playing video games but all of them are fukin labour jobs so tired of that chit

[bee su]

how long do you think you can last without earning steady income? you can still use the down time to get something done. it would take more time if you had a job that took plenty of hours away from what you also needed to do.

[eod8989]

I can strongly identify with this. It was in worse in the past and still some days it is worse than others.

Look up The bio-psycho-social model for dealing with mental health issues.
I would say all three aspects of this are affecting your mental state.

Yes they are, i just looked it up. I'm just in a really bad place right now but i don't know what to do. It has been so ****ing long since i talked to anyone other than my gf. The physical pain is not helping at all, but that's probably not as bad as the job i have. Because all my problems started with this job.

But it is hard to feel like a man when you are whimpering in pain most of the time. If it's not one thing it's the other.

[2RDEYE]

how long do you think you can last without earning steady income? you can still use the down time to get something done. it would take more time if you had a job that took plenty of hours away from what you also needed to do.

i can last a long time, at least 2 years, but i feel like i need a job to be around people. the longer i stay inside my room i feel like it's going to be so much harder to be a person in society.

like i don't even know what to do without a job... i have never done anything outside of work. i could go to school but i'm having doubts again about what i want to do.

ideally i would like to go to school and meet people but i don't know what i really want to do, i could just pick a career probably...

[eod8989]

i can last a long time, at least 2 years, but i feel like i need a job to be around people. the longer i stay inside my room i feel like it's going to be so much harder to be a person in society.

like i don't even know what to do without a job... i have never done anything outside of work. i could go to school but i'm having doubts again about what i want to do.

ideally i would like to go to school and meet people but i don't know what i really want to do, i could just pick a career probably...

When I lost my retail job I got really bad anxiety and started isolating. Afyer about a month of being unemployed and not talking to people I knew it was over for me. There was no way I was going to be able to integrate back into society somewhere completely new

[bangwhosnext]

Just thought I'd post this video that I saw in another thread. Might help some people look at things from a different perspective...

[2RDEYE]

When I lost my retail job I got really bad anxiety and started isolating. Afyer about a month of being unemployed and not talking to people I knew it was over for me. There was no way I was going to be able to integrate back into society somewhere completely new

i was the same way about two years ago when i quit my atrocious tradie job i went 5 months of nothing but being unemployed and being a shut-in, anxiety and depression was ****ing insane, but i watched this anime that really motivated me because the guy was in the same circumstances and he applied for a temp job out of desperation. i did the same thing and called a temp agency and got a warehouse job...some people bash anime but that show really saved my fuking life, i would probably still be 5 months and more of ongoing of unemployment and being a shut-in if i never watched that, but i really don't want to do labour again. i have like arthritis in my fingers now, not sure how i got it but it's really painful on the joints.

scene i'm talking about if anyone wants to check it out, really realistic powerful sad stuff but motivational if you are a rockbottom NEET in desperation:

obvious spoilers

Spoiler!

i am back in that state again, but i just did like 2 years as a temp labourer i don't really want to do it again.

[eod8989]

i was the same way about two years ago when i quit my atrocious tradie job i went 5 months of nothing but being unemployed and being a shut-in, anxiety and depression was ****ing insane, but i watched this anime that really motivated me because the guy was in the same circumstances and he applied for a temp job out of desperation. i did the same thing and called a temp agency and got a warehouse job...some people bash anime but that show really saved my fuking life, i would probably still be 5 months and more of ongoing of unemployment and being a shut-in if i never watched that, but i really don't want to do labour again. i have like arthritis in my fingers now, not sure how i got it but it's really painful on the joints.

Yeah working hard labour jobs is fun until you get hurt. I pushed carts at wal mart for over a year, because it was fun, but then i overheated. I haven't been the same since. It was probably the most fun i had in my life, but now i'm paying for it. That's why i stay it this office job. I don't want to do hard work with my neck injury and heat sensitivity

[2RDEYE]

Yeah working hard labour jobs is fun until you get hurt. I pushed carts at wal mart for over a year, because it was fun, but then i overheated. I haven't been the same since. It was probably the most fun i had in my life, but now i'm paying for it. That's why i stay it this office job. I don't want to do hard work with my neck injury and heat sensitivity

i think i'm going to try looking for a typist or data entry job. do u need to wear a suit for those?

actually i don't know if that's a good idea if i have joint pain





right hand middle finger hurts so much on the middle joint

[eod8989]

i think i'm going to try looking for a typist or data entry job. do u need to wear a suit for those?

actually i don't know if that's a good idea if i have joint pain

Maybe not a suit, just polos probably. It's better to move your fingers for arthritis, just don't over do it. So i doubt typing will hurt you more. Just be careful and don't end up like me if you get an office job

[eod8989]

I think smoking fuked up by brain chemisty. I don't think i get any dopamine or endorphins unless i run or lift. That is the only time i feel anything. In fact, i run and lift at work just to feel somewhat normal and to be able to function properly.

I don't care about money, socializing or anything because it doesn't make me feel good. Only lifting does.

[2RDEYE]

i think if my dad like somehow took legal action to kick me out of my room i would just literally sit in the alley or something i probably would not even care

i would just walk around finding a place to sleep and eat when i need to using my credit card

there is like no reason for why my life is worth living

my only motivation growing up as a teen was to fall in love and find a GF. i remember telling myself like if i don't find a gf by the time i graduate highschool im gonna commit suicide. and then like if i don't find a gf by the time im 19 im gonna commit suicide.

that goal got so much harder for me as an adult especially since i don't fit into society at all especially the person i am and look like. fuking low self-esteem no friends 25 y/o asian male who facially looks like a 15 year old, doesn't even have a car, education, job, scared of driving. into the dumpster i go

[weeabrah]

I need to change up my daily routine, the monotony to life is really getting at me.

[benrhyno1989]

Hoping we can all find some peace today and this week.

I've been 30 days painkiller free and I'm firmly back in my depressive rut. The opiod painkiller i was taking also had anti-depressive properties so i guess that explains some of the suffering. I ended things with my girlfriend last night - only 2 months together but pretty much sene each other 4-5 days per week so it's been really intense, feel like absolute **** for breaking her heart because she's so into me but i found myself unable to give all of myself back, and ultimately ended up feeling like a jerk as she made really nice romantic gestures all the time and had a kind heart. We just lacked the chemistry and had some different ideas on the future and were probably two very different people on different paths. All I feel is guilt and self hatred for hurting her, not the free feeling i anticipated from ending a relationship that would very likely have ended further down the line.

Was also a serious online poker player for about 4 years with a staking deal - that was cut on Thursday so I've now got nothing but time on my hands - living alone and with the swell of depression coming back around me feels like a recipe for disaster.

Hope we all have a positive week

[eod8989]

It is truly damn near impossible to function at a job with this bipolar ****

[axiom15]

Find something to obsess about and keep yourself occupied, holy ****

I've been reading so much and actually investing in crypto currency I kind of almost forgot I feel like trash. Any time I do I go online and read some more/research.

[theRealGriNC]

Can someone PM that won't put all my problems on the misc? Just want to talk to someone and don't feel like posting it all in the thread

[BlueElmo]

How do I deal with this all-consuming black hole that is loneliness. I'm in Colorado for work, far away from my family and home which is California. I've been away for work now for about 7 years now for school and work. I've had a few hookups but never had a girlfriend before in my life. No real friends at all. I come home from work most days, and I just get so lonely and empty inside. I try playing video games or going online to relieve boredom and loneliness, but that doesn't work anymore.

I've been getting extensive tattoos lately, it's become an addiction, I get relief from the pain of the needle. It relieves the loneliness and pain, but I fear it's become an absolute addiction and obviously permanent. Once I get one, I feel urge to go back for another one. I want to stop so bad, but I can't.

I feel if I was in a stable relationship with a girl I truly liked, I would be in a better place, but I'm alone. It's also negatively affecting my work now. I'm in a bad place guys, I need help.

[300BLK]

I think I have a migraine disorder. After extensive research, it's the only thing that makes sense. I get to see my doctor tomorrow, and I'm bringing this up again, usually doctor visits don't lead to anything, but I'm getting sick of this. I'm tired of this bullchit. I can't even enjoy life to the fullest anymore because I'm so hellbent on figuring out what these health issues are stemming from. Once I feel like things are alright, I start going out again, socializing, connecting with people, and then the issues come back in full force and I just go back to shelling myself up again, glued to my computer, rotter status.

Having health issues sucks out the fuking ass, especially when you know what it's like to be normal and you once got to enjoy all the things people regularly do, but now you get these issues that prevent you from getting involved. Sick of seeing other guys getting girls and chit, having tons of friends, and always going to events, knowing I've done it too, but now I can't. It's so annoying. Being that guy who can tell guys what that life is like, without actually living that life. It's like something you love to do, just being ripped right away from you. Not you're a washed up old drunken loser, and I'm not even old.

[PisseninMisc]

Woke up in the depths of the abyss. Had terrible thoughts on the way to work and as soon as I got there the anxiety got 10 times worst.

I stayed calm and told myself the truth: these thoughts will pass as they always do; what you're feeling is real however it is only a minute part of your reality; you'll be back to normal very soon just hang in there.

Stayed in my office, misced a bit, got some work done and ducked out at 2pm. I felt like a piece of chit for leaving early, but I jumped on productive tasks as soon as I got home about an hour ago. I'm feeling much better now. I know this is a deer diary post, but just wanted to share the thought process with some of the younger bros. Your problems may not necessarily diminish for all time even when you find some of the answers you seek. Mental health requires upkeep. Over time you have to understand how your own mind works, and be able to recognize irrational thoughts and feelings. I know it sounds counter intuitive but that's my reality. I can't escape the bad thoughts, even thought I know better. But I can wait them out, till I'm rational enough again to carry on. It's just how my brain works. Keep hustling, perhaps you can figure out how yours does as well.

How do I deal with this all-consuming black hole that is loneliness. I'm in Colorado for work, far away from my family and home which is California. I've been away for work now for about 7 years now for school and work. I've had a few hookups but never had a girlfriend before in my life. No real friends at all. I come home from work most days, and I just get so lonely and empty inside. I try playing video games or going online to relieve boredom and loneliness, but that doesn't work anymore.

I've been getting extensive tattoos lately, it's become an addiction, I get relief from the pain of the needle. It relieves the loneliness and pain, but I fear it's become an absolute addiction and obviously permanent. Once I get one, I feel urge to go back for another one. I want to stop so bad, but I can't.

I feel if I was in a stable relationship with a girl I truly liked, I would be in a better place, but I'm alone. It's also negatively affecting my work now. I'm in a bad place guys, I need help.

I'm dealing with this issue now and I still have a few friends and a GF around. Finding a GF will not fix all your problems, make sure you avoid becoming co-dependent.

What you really need are hobbies and friends. Find hobbies and then find friends through those hobbies. I'm the kind of person who's never been into any real hobby other than lifting, getting fuked up or work. I spoke to some people, read some stuff and the conclusion I came to is that I need something outside of work and something new to try. I've been thinking about learning about motorcycles/vehicles, gardening/growing herbs or woodworking. I've never made music before but I might try my hand at it.

You mentioned tattoos. How about learning how to be a tattoo artist? Spend a month learning about it, the gear you would need, the training you could get. Once you get into it a little on your own, I'm sure you can go to classes or conventions or some other chit. Tons of people our age are into tattoos it would open the door to a lot of likeminded friends. Srs suggestion, give it a shot man and hang in there. We're all gon make it.

[theRealGriNC]

I think I have a migraine disorder. After extensive research, it's the only thing that makes sense. I get to see my doctor tomorrow, and I'm bringing this up again, usually doctor visits don't lead to anything, but I'm getting sick of this. I'm tired of this bullchit. I can't even enjoy life to the fullest anymore because I'm so hellbent on figuring out what these health issues are stemming from. Once I feel like things are alright, I start going out again, socializing, connecting with people, and then the issues come back in full force and I just go back to shelling myself up again, glued to my computer, rotter status.

Having health issues sucks out the fuking ass, especially when you know what it's like to be normal and you once got to enjoy all the things people regularly do, but now you get these issues that prevent you from getting involved. Sick of seeing other guys getting girls and chit, having tons of friends, and always going to events, knowing I've done it too, but now I can't. It's so annoying. Being that guy who can tell guys what that life is like, without actually living that life. It's like something you love to do, just being ripped right away from you. Not you're a washed up old drunken loser, and I'm not even old.

do you have any idea what triggers your migraines? do you have auras?

[BlueElmo]

I'm dealing with this issue now and I still have a few friends and a GF around. Finding a GF will not fix all your problems, make sure you avoid becoming co-dependent.

What you really need are hobbies and friends. Find hobbies and then find friends through those hobbies. I'm the kind of person who's never been into any real hobby other than lifting, getting fuked up or work. I spoke to some people, read some stuff and the conclusion I came to is that I need something outside of work and something new to try. I've been thinking about learning about motorcycles/vehicles, gardening/growing herbs or woodworking. I've never made music before but I might try my hand at it.

You mentioned tattoos. How about learning how to be a tattoo artist? Spend a month learning about it, the gear you would need, the training you could get. Once you get into it a little on your own, I'm sure you can go to classes or conventions or some other chit. Tons of people our age are into tattoos it would open the door to a lot of likeminded friends. Srs suggestion, give it a shot man and hang in there. We're all gon make it.

I can't become a tattoo artist. I'm a resident doctor, so I neither have the time, desire, or effort to become an artist. I just want to stop period, someway or another.

Your point about hobbies are valid though. I just have a really hard time trying to find a hobby that I can be passionate about, something that I can invest time, effort, and energy into. I need ideas but I dn't really have anything that I truly enjoy doing.

I hope we will all make it. I'm just utterly miserable and terribly lonely, it's almost ridiculous.

[PisseninMisc]

I can't become a tattoo artist. I'm a resident doctor, so I neither have the time, desire, or effort to become an artist. I just want to stop period, someway or another.

Your point about hobbies are valid though. I just have a really hard time trying to find a hobby that I can be passionate about, something that I can invest time, effort, and energy into. I need ideas but I dn't really have anything that I truly enjoy doing.

I hope we will all make it. I'm just utterly miserable and terribly lonely, it's almost ridiculous.

lol I'm an EE with a 9 to 5 and work as a consultant on the side. I understand the challenge of balancing your work and personal life. That's a challenge you need to take on personally, I'm just sharing what I think would be the best way to tackle it.

I wasn't trying to suggest you become a tattoo artist full time. My mother is a very skilled painter, but it doesn't mean she puts her work as a CPA on pause to go kick it with the starving artists. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Your goal should be balance.

Definitely feel you on the hobbies issue man. I don't have a burning passion for anything as a hobby either. That's actually why I suggested tattoos cause I figured you already seem to have a strong interest in it. But I think I know the solution: if I posted a thread about this the first answer would be to "fist yourself and do it *******". Funny enough I think that's the actual answer. I just need to pick something like making some music or woodworking and run with it. Spend a couple of hundo getting the basics for it and just go for it. It will be fun as soon as I get better at it. Don't put so much pressure on yourself monica, just jump in.

[300BLK]

do you have any idea what triggers your migraines? do you have auras?

No I don't, and it constantly occurs, some days/moments worse than others. I believe so, when I google search migraine auras, it looks crazier than how I see it, so I'm not sure if it's accurate. I see visual distortion, random flashes of light in my eye or on the colorful flashes on the wall, after images of objects. Hard to describe. It doesn't look my vision is being blinded by random rainbow like patterns, it's like I'm seeing the world normally, and then I see that random stuff that's trying to appear in it.

[theRealGriNC]

No I don't, and it constantly occurs, some days/moments worse than others. I believe so, when I google search migraine auras, it looks crazier than how I see it, so I'm not sure if it's accurate. I see visual distortion, random flashes of light in my eye or on the colorful flashes on the wall, after images of objects. Hard to describe. It doesn't look my vision is being blinded by random rainbow like patterns, it's like I'm seeing the world normally, and then I see that random stuff that's trying to appear in it.

Gotcha. Then does the pain come after that?

Usually I have a solid 45 minutes after the aura before the pain comes but I get them every few weeks not all the time.

Drinking alcohol+ stress+ anxiety + no caffeine cause mine.

They tried medications but they did not help (even when I took them within the aura phase). Have you tried meds? Sorry if you already explained this I just saw this thread.

If you are having migraines daily or even weekly it would seem like you need daily meds? Or at least I would cause I could not handle having them more often than I do now. That sucks bro.

[300BLK]

Gotcha. Then does the pain come after that?

Usually I have a solid 45 minutes after the aura before the pain comes but I get them every few weeks not all the time.

Drinking alcohol+ stress+ anxiety + no caffeine cause mine.

They tried medications but they did not help (even when I took them within the aura phase). Have you tried meds? Sorry if you already explained this I just saw this thread.

If you are having migraines daily or even weekly it would seem like you need daily meds? Or at least I would cause I could not handle having them more often than I do now. That sucks bro.

Ironically, headaches are probably the least thing that occurs, but I do get head pressure when it happens. At first I had no idea what the forehead pressure was, but I'm seeing correlation now, the worse the aura and other symptoms, the worse the head pressure usually. They all occur in correlation. When I see an aura, I know something else is gonna happen, and then bam it does. When I start to feel the head pressure, I know I'm gonna start having auras. It does stress me out, also do notice that it indefinitely happens when I'm stressed out, but other times I get stressed out because it happens.

No I don't have medication for it, they didn't even think I had it until recently. Because what I've been explaining to them didn't add up with previous diagnosis and prognosis. I've been self-medicating on supplements, they help me deal with it, but they are no fix at all. This is definitely ruining my life it feels like, but I'm very stern on beating it.

[2RDEYE]

does anyone use L-theanine? i was thinking about trying phenibut but it seems to be banned, i can't find it anywhere.

need something make me go fukin nuts i feel like crying all the time

[theRealGriNC]

Ironically, headaches are probably the least thing that occurs, but I do get head pressure when it happens. At first I had no idea what the forehead pressure was, but I'm seeing correlation now, the worse the aura and other symptoms, the worse the head pressure usually. They all occur in correlation. When I see an aura, I know something else is gonna happen, and then bam it does. When I start to feel the head pressure, I know I'm gonna start having auras. It does stress me out, also do notice that it indefinitely happens when I'm stressed out, but other times I get stressed out because it happens.

No I don't have medication for it, they didn't even think I had it until recently. Because what I've been explaining to them didn't add up with previous diagnosis and prognosis. I've been self-medicating on supplements, they help me deal with it, but they are no fix at all. This is definitely ruining my life it feels like, but I'm very stern on beating it.

I would keep a journal of when you get aura's and when you get head pressure. When do you typically get them? I literally have only gotten migraines late afternoon. idk why.

Some people have triggers and some don't. If not at least you can show a doctor when you get them.

[eod8989]

I don't understand this. It seems like everyone just small talks these days. I don't hear anyone talk about anything interesting which makes me isolate even more. I literally don't even know what to think of people or my life anymore. I simply just exist. Come to think about it, I haven't heard anyone talk about anything interesting in years. Nothing that I actually felt the need to respond to. I legit feel like an idiot for trying to communicate with people who have nothing interesting to talk about. I give up

I want my early 20s back where everything was fun and I was healthy. This adult life is so mundane it hurts

[bestellenpreis]

Know days like these. Stay strong.