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  1. #9001
    Banned BigTimePlayer's Avatar
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    I can feel the imbalance in my head so bad tonight. It's like I get this pressure feeling in my frontal lobe area where it's like I have low activity in it or something. It's where I get these ****ed up intrusive thoughts & really low moods. This **** is just brutal how it's like you have no control over how you feel from minute to minute. I can be feeling okay 1 minute than 5 minutes later my brain just wants to go out of wack on me.

  2. #9002
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    Brahs do you agree with ppl when they say suicide is the coward's way out? I've heard this many times but man I've tried before and you gotta have some balls to go through with it. Phuk mane I wish I had the balls to do it man so sick of this phuking pathetic existence. I have literally NOTHING going for me, no hope for the future or anything. I don't get how the phuk ppl stay positive and sht all the time. All I see is the negative in everything and am filled with so much phuking hate it's overwhelming.

  3. #9003
    Milker of Bobs and Vagene bongowongo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jizzfarmer View Post
    Brahs do you agree with ppl when they say suicide is the coward's way out? I've heard this many times but man I've tried before and you gotta have some balls to go through with it. Phuk mane I wish I had the balls to do it man so sick of this phuking pathetic existence. I have literally NOTHING going for me, no hope for the future or anything. I don't get how the phuk ppl stay positive and sht all the time. All I see is the negative in everything and am filled with so much phuking hate it's overwhelming.

    Same feels as as you ... I'd do it myself srs, but im scared i'll fail and put myself in a worse situation ... Every night i just go to bed wishing i never wake up the next day.
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  4. #9004
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    having like blasts of misery and anxiety shredded at me just thinking about my future. i imagine most people have their chit together in their mid twenties when i'm just getting started. hoping maybe i'll get a good paying job in the future and maybe good money will make up for my terrible, empty, and wasteful 20's.



    i've been doing the same. just finishing up some video games i've had forever and haven't finished. playing video games since morning and then looking at the time and it's already like 8pm is such a miserable feeling.
    Man I can't even play video games anymore because I feel like I'm wasting time. Too many thoughts in my head to enjoy the game. I really don't do anything but misc and track weather. I really wish I could play some rs siege or enjoy a good rpg on pc

  5. #9005
    Registered User SteadyWayfarer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jizzfarmer View Post
    Brahs do you agree with ppl when they say suicide is the coward's way out? I've heard this many times but man I've tried before and you gotta have some balls to go through with it. Phuk mane I wish I had the balls to do it man so sick of this phuking pathetic existence. I have literally NOTHING going for me, no hope for the future or anything. I don't get how the phuk ppl stay positive and sht all the time. All I see is the negative in everything and am filled with so much phuking hate it's overwhelming.
    I'm at the point where I say fuk anyone's opinion about it, especially if they aren't my family, parents, etc. People will call anything they dislike and don't understand cowardice. As far as i'm concerned it takes guts to actually go through with it in my experience. Also it's a very personal thing imo, no one has walked a day in my shoes, and felt my pain, so who are they to judge accurately. To most people life=good and death=bad, and they don't like when suicide challenges their core beliefs. Anyway I hope things get better for you man, I feel I can relate with you a bit. I've also been struggling so long, hopefully I can turn things around before the end of the year or it may be game over for me. All we can do is give our best effort and hope life will be graceful to us lol.
    Last edited by SteadyWayfarer; 06-19-2017 at 07:37 AM.

  6. #9006
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    Man I can't even play video games anymore because I feel like I'm wasting time. Too many thoughts in my head to enjoy the game. I really don't do anything but misc and track weather. I really wish I could play some rs siege or enjoy a good rpg on pc
    i feel like a total loser when i play video games sometimes. like i feel i still enjoy them but at the same time there's always that lingering guilt of wasting time and feeling like a loser because it's pretty lonely when you have nothing else going on in the world except the game.

    Originally Posted by jizzfarmer View Post
    Brahs do you agree with ppl when they say suicide is the coward's way out? I've heard this many times but man I've tried before and you gotta have some balls to go through with it. Phuk mane I wish I had the balls to do it man so sick of this phuking pathetic existence. I have literally NOTHING going for me, no hope for the future or anything. I don't get how the phuk ppl stay positive and sht all the time. All I see is the negative in everything and am filled with so much phuking hate it's overwhelming.
    no i don't think suicide is cowardly. i respect people who are able to go through with it, depending on their situation. it's an option, but i think it should only be used when suffering from permanent pain, disfigurement, or disability. and who's to say we won't be suffering when we're dead. i personally think depression can be fixed by many factors, but things do not go the way we want it to in life, and life is more negative than positive, that's for sure. but even so i think people who are suicidal because of depression should wait it out, if by chance or something, something good could happen and turn your life around. hasn't happened to me yet, and i think i will just be miserable in the long run, but if something does happen that makes me happy i think it would be worth it in the end.
    Last edited by 2RDEYE; 06-19-2017 at 08:51 AM.
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  7. #9007
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    There is literally 1 hour to escape from these walls a day and there is nobody to talk to ever. I don't know anyone and I never will being here. Fuk man.

  8. #9008
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    There is literally 1 hour to escape from these walls a day and there is nobody to talk to ever. I don't know anyone and I never will being here. Fuk man.
    I'm going to assume you are talking about your job bro. Do you ever want to try and search for another job that will get you talking and interacting with people more on a daily basis? It seems like your job is a big source of unhappiness for you. You are definitely still young, and people change careers at 40+. I don't see why you should lock yourself into this job permanently if you know it's making you miserable.

  9. #9009
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    It's so hot here. And no AC. Absolutely unbearable. What kind of developed country doesn't have AC in about 99% of homes (UK)?

  10. #9010
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    There is literally 1 hour to escape from these walls a day and there is nobody to talk to ever. I don't know anyone and I never will being here. Fuk man.
    I feel like I will end up in the same position. I just got accepted to a 2 year IT program, which i'm having strong mixed feelings about because for 1. it's a start to what seems like a promising career, and i can actually go to school instead of just sitting here doing jack chit. but 2. i'm not really interested in IT or office jobs, probably will have to deal with a lot of phones. i think i should just try it out though. my life isn't really going anywhere at the moment.

    the office i went to for the cleaning job was miserable. all old out of shape women with terrible social skills, 1 arguing on the phone, everyone looking so lost or stressed out. that was my first experience being in an office. but then again most places i've worked were miserable, i imagine all of them are.
    Last edited by 2RDEYE; 06-19-2017 at 12:35 PM.
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  11. #9011
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    Been talking to some attractive girl last night that actually messaged me first & feel I'm going to fuk it up due to all my issues. I don't think I'm ever going to be 100% healthy again at this rate. It just feels like I'm going to be fuked up in some way the rest of my life.

  12. #9012
    Milker of Bobs and Vagene bongowongo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Been talking to some attractive girl last night that actually messaged me first & feel I'm going to fuk it up due to all my issues. I don't think I'm ever going to be 100% healthy again at this rate. It just feels like I'm going to be fuked up in some way the rest of my life.
    im too fukked up in the head and need to deal/love myself first before i can allow anyone else to come into my life...gone on no women
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  13. #9013
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    Originally Posted by bongowongo View Post
    im too fukked up in the head and need to deal/love myself first before i can allow anyone else to come into my life...gone on no women
    I feel the same way but I feel like I almost have to force myself into trying to meet someone or else I'm going to be alone for life. I can't wait until my health issues get better which may never happen. I mean am I supposed to go potentially my entire life without being with anyone though? It feels like a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.

  14. #9014
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    Been talking to some attractive girl last night that actually messaged me first & feel I'm going to fuk it up due to all my issues. I don't think I'm ever going to be 100% healthy again at this rate. It just feels like I'm going to be fuked up in some way the rest of my life.
    a girl talked to me for the first time in forever, the gym front desk girl asked me how my weekend was, i was so fukin awkward. i was like "uhhh.. yeah uhh... it was alright." and she literally stared at me with a serious face the moment i opened my mouth. like a "this guy is creepy" face.
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  15. #9015
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SteadyWayfarer View Post
    I'm going to assume you are talking about your job bro. Do you ever want to try and search for another job that will get you talking and interacting with people more on a daily basis? It seems like your job is a big source of unhappiness for you. You are definitely still young, and people change careers at 40+. I don't see why you should lock yourself into this job permanently if you know it's making you miserable.
    Idk I have mental problems from this place. Paranoia, bipolar, anti social, anxiety, depression, don't know how to talk. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know what it's like to talk to people because it's been so long for me. Plus I'm not able to do much because of my neck injury so I need to have a state job. I have all kinds of things ****ed up with me right now. I'm literally scared of people because Ive been isolated so long

    Don't know what I'm gonna do

  16. #9016
    Registered User eod8989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    I feel like I will end up in the same position. I just got accepted to a 2 year IT program, which i'm having strong mixed feelings about because for 1. it's a start to what seems like a promising career, and i can actually go to school instead of just sitting here doing jack chit. but 2. i'm not really interested in IT or office jobs, probably will have to deal with a lot of phones. i think i should just try it out though. my life isn't really going anywhere at the moment.

    the office i went to for the cleaning job was miserable. all old out of shape women with terrible social skills, 1 arguing on the phone, everyone looking so lost or stressed out. that was my first experience being in an office. but then again most places i've worked were miserable, i imagine all of them are.
    What blows my mind is the women stress out about everything. Like is it really that stressful that you have to sit down and do more paper work? LOL. You can totally tell when they get that way too and you just don't even want to be near them. Office jobs are probably the least stressful jobs out there rofl

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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    What blows my mind is the women stress out about everything. Like is it really that stressful that you have to sit down and do more paper work? LOL. You can totally tell when they get that way too and you just don't even want to be near them. Office jobs are probably the least stressful jobs out there rofl
    They need constant drama. Just look at the stuff they post on social media. A woman without attention/drama is like a plant without sunlight.

  18. #9018
    Blood tastes like iron. 2RDEYE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by eod8989 View Post
    What blows my mind is the women stress out about everything. Like is it really that stressful that you have to sit down and do more paper work? LOL. You can totally tell when they get that way too and you just don't even want to be near them. Office jobs are probably the least stressful jobs out there rofl
    i was just sitting in the middle of the office waiting to be interviewed and i saw like this one woman arguing on the phone the entire time and she spent like at least 20 minutes explaining how she didn't have this guy's number, trying to make it not her fault. i would have just been like "sorry" and then proceed with a solution or something.

    and another woman from the cleaning job office, when i quit, kept calling me and i missed the calls, she texted me. "why did u lie? your name is not sean." and i texted back, "sorry what? i didn't even pick up my phone today. please don't accuse me of lying." and she texted back "i called this number, and you picked up, and you kept saying your name was sean. nevermind, don't worry about it. you quit right? this is a yes or no answer. " strong fuking attitude. no professionalism. she was spamming me with texts when i missed the first couple.

    so many women that work in offices have been so rude to me. like every school i phoned they were rude off the bat with a terrible personality.
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  19. #9019
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    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    i was just sitting in the middle of the office waiting to be interviewed and i saw like this one woman arguing on the phone the entire time and she spent like at least 20 minutes explaining how she didn't have this guy's number, trying to make it not her fault. i would have just been like "sorry" and then proceed with a solution or something.

    and another woman from the cleaning job office, when i quit, kept calling me and i missed the calls, she texted me. "why did u lie? your name is not sean." and i texted back, "sorry what? i didn't even pick up my phone today. please don't accuse me of lying." and she texted back "i called this number, and you picked up, and you kept saying your name was sean. nevermind, don't worry about it. you quit right? this is a yes or no answer. " strong fuking attitude. no professionalism. she was spamming me with texts when i missed the first couple.

    so many women that work in offices have been so rude to me. like every school i phoned they were rude off the bat with a terrible personality.
    Don't take it personally, a lot of them are just fukking rude. Comes from years of being able to get away with anything, talk to guys like they're better than them, just being nasty people. I'm not saying all are like this but a lot are. I really think it's cos of all the attention they get (even if they're not great looking), combined with entitlement, never being called out, having laws on their side, etc.

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    Originally Posted by MrDevereaux View Post
    Don't take it personally, a lot of them are just fukking rude. Comes from years of being able to get away with anything, talk to guys like they're better than them, just being nasty people. I'm not saying all are like this but a lot are. I really think it's cos of all the attention they get (even if they're not great looking), combined with entitlement, never being called out, having laws on their side, etc.
    Phuking this. Working with women is literally one of the most disgusting and degrading experiences you will ever go through in your life. They have absolutely NO respect for men and they practically feed off drama. It gotten to the point where I actually feel a little physically sick when I'm in a room full of women they are like leeches that just suck the life and youth out of everyone they interact with. Shame, honor and respect are not words that exist in their vocabulary anymore.

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    Originally Posted by jizzfarmer View Post
    Phuking this. Working with women is literally one of the most disgusting and degrading experiences you will ever go through in your life. They have absolutely NO respect for men and they practically feed off drama. It gotten to the point where I actually feel a little physically sick when I'm in a room full of women they are like leeches that just suck the life and youth out of everyone they interact with. Shame, honor and respect are not words that exist in their vocabulary anymore.
    I have had my soul drained from my body thanks to them. The guys are just as bad though it seems. It is the most negative, drama filled, Boring place I've ever encountered. You literally can't say anything to some of them because they will take it offensive and bite your head off. They even try to tell me what to do lol.

    I need to find somewhere else to work but I don't want to just leave a steady job with good benefits.

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    Originally Posted by jizzfarmer View Post
    Phuking this. Working with women is literally one of the most disgusting and degrading experiences you will ever go through in your life. They have absolutely NO respect for men and they practically feed off drama. It gotten to the point where I actually feel a little physically sick when I'm in a room full of women they are like leeches that just suck the life and youth out of everyone they interact with. Shame, honor and respect are not words that exist in their vocabulary anymore.
    Repped for truth. Have vowed not to work with a group consisting mainly of women again.

    This isn't workplace obviously but example of how these bitches think. I see this kind of post all the time.



    And the sloot (edit, she has kids):


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    Originally Posted by MrDevereaux View Post
    Repped for truth. Have vowed not to work with a group consisting mainly of women again.

    This isn't workplace obviously but example of how these bitches think. I see this kind of post all the time.



    And the sloot (edit, she has kids):

    You sure that's not a man bro? Or is she older?
    just another bruh tryna make it....

    " More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego.”

    -albert einstein

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    Originally Posted by whiteIveySon View Post
    You sure that's not a man bro? Or is she older?
    She is so fukkin mannish. Glad you said it. And all the responses are either 'You go girl!' from women or, 'I'll be your friend and I'll be a good friend to you and won't try to have sex with you'. Fukking pathetic. And this is just one example, tonnes of posts like this from 2/10s.

    Or posting **** like this. Imagine if a guy posted this about women?


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    Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer View Post
    I can feel the imbalance in my head so bad tonight. It's like I get this pressure feeling in my frontal lobe area where it's like I have low activity in it or something. It's where I get these ****ed up intrusive thoughts & really low moods. This **** is just brutal how it's like you have no control over how you feel from minute to minute. I can be feeling okay 1 minute than 5 minutes later my brain just wants to go out of wack on me.
    I get this too. It sucks so much. Would love to have a stable mood. If I plan something 'fun' it's always in the back of my mind that maybe I'll get an episode of depression and it will ruin the event or holiday. Had a few holidays where I spent a tonne of money and just felt awful the whole time. So completely fed up of it. Am always fantasising about living another life where I'm free of all these issues and am one of those people you see who are always feeling good and upbeat.

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    i've been getting like a weird feeling. i don't know if it's anxiety. but i keep looking at myself in like a 3rd person view and what my family thinks of me. and it's such a weird feeling. i feel like they're looking at the stragest weirest person on earth when they look at me. someone who only comes out of his room to get food, doesn't talk or make eye contact, and then goes back in his room.

    and fuk my warehouse that i left is asking me if want to come back. and anxiety is hitting me so hard right now, because i do want to make some money, but at the same time going back to the same people with insane anxiety and depression is making me nervous. should i just do it?
    There is only one Hell: the one we live in now.
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    Originally Posted by 2RDEYE View Post
    i've been getting like a weird feeling. i don't know if it's anxiety. but i keep looking at myself in like a 3rd person view and what my family thinks of me. and it's such a weird feeling. i feel like they're looking at the stragest weirest person on earth when they look at me. someone who only comes out of his room to get food, doesn't talk or make eye contact, and then goes back in his room.
    I feel a bit like that when I go home. Keep thinking how my parents really probably don't like me at all and would have wanted somebody different. But yeah that's pretty much what I do when I come home. If I go downstairs to talk with them we just have nothing to say to each other. I see some people interact with their parents, joking and smiling and hugging even and to be honest it kind o pisses me off, probably mostly because of jealousy and a reminder of how disappointed my foks must be.

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    Originally Posted by MrDevereaux View Post
    I get this too. It sucks so much. Would love to have a stable mood. If I plan something 'fun' it's always in the back of my mind that maybe I'll get an episode of depression and it will ruin the event or holiday. Had a few holidays where I spent a tonne of money and just felt awful the whole time. So completely fed up of it. Am always fantasising about living another life where I'm free of all these issues and am one of those people you see who are always feeling good and upbeat.
    I can't stay in a good mood for more than an hour. Either my neck hurts, or I just feel irritated and ****ty all the time. Only time I feel decent is if I do cardio or lift. At work I will randomly tear up or have bipolar episodes because I'm so sick of being alone there. I can't control it though, just have to let it pass. It's so ****ed up man

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    Originally Posted by MrDevereaux View Post
    I feel a bit like that when I go home. Keep thinking how my parents really probably don't like me at all and would have wanted somebody different. But yeah that's pretty much what I do when I come home. If I go downstairs to talk with them we just have nothing to say to each other. I see some people interact with their parents, joking and smiling and hugging even and to be honest it kind o pisses me off, probably mostly because of jealousy and a reminder of how disappointed my foks must be.
    it feels so bad. being a disappointment. i don't really talk to anyone at home except my 3 year old sister, she is probably the only reason i'm still sane. occasionally i see my brother come out of his room too and we have smalltalk.
    There is only one Hell: the one we live in now.
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    It's agony bros, sheer agony.

    Yeah I only feel decent if I have a few drinks or do other stuff (but then of course I pay for it afterwards) or when I run but haven't done that for a couple weeks and seem to be in a self destructive mindset. Can't seem to handle/enjoy just a normal day to day life.

    Edit: it's 4am here. I feel ok so I'm deliberately not going to sleep cos I know I'll wake up feeling terrible. Sick of it. See so many happy, fun loving people around. Often they're acting like the biggest tools, being loud and obnoxious but they don't give a damn cos they feel good all the time and can have fun doing anything. Pisses me off when I see really dumb, arrogant obnoxious people who are happier than I'll ever be.
    Last edited by MrDevereaux; 06-19-2017 at 08:56 PM.

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