[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part II

[Smashiin]

Blah. Just found out another friend of mine died of a drug overdose. Even though I've only been clean for 11 days now, it makes me feel grateful that I've been given another chance. I'm so sick of hearing about this stuff. What's funny? The last time I talked to this friend, he was telling me about another friend who overdosed and died.

Not looking forward to this funeral.

I'm sorry for your loss. The only positive thing that came out of this is you getting a wake up call. Good job so far bro. I've been on suboxone for 44 days now. I know what it's like to be addicted and having a pill control your life and your fate. We're both going through recovery and you should not let anything get in your way of being sober and making a good life for yourself. I'm not going to lie. I slipped up a week ago and popped some pills. But, the next day I vowed to myself that I'd never touch a single pill again. If you slip up once it's totally ok. It's apart of your recovery.

If you need someone to talk to I'm here brah.

[jamesbwbevis]

struggling bros. I feel very very strongly that life is no longer for me, but then I just can't stomach what it would do to my parents.

I feel stuck, I hate my life but I cant do anything about it

[BigTimePlayer]

struggling bros. I feel very very strongly that life is no longer for me, but then I just can't stomach what it would do to my parents.

I feel stuck, I hate my life but I cant do anything about it

Same man. I'm almost feeling suicidal at this point. I just know I can never do it though but I struggle everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just rotting away as everyday goes by. I just don't see a life for me at this point, I'm just giving up hope.

[jamesbwbevis]

Same man. I'm almost feeling suicidal at this point. I just know I can never do it though but I struggle everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just rotting away as everyday goes by. I just don't see a life for me at this point, I'm just giving up hope.

Such a diffcult spot, I think its why some people just start doing drugs its like a happy medium.



I probably dont have the balls to do it, and I defintely cant while my parents are alive so thinking of just dropping out of society and playing video games with my time.

[BigTimePlayer]

Such a diffcult spot, I think its why some people just start doing drugs its like a happy medium.



I probably dont have the balls to do it, and I defintely cant while my parents are alive so thinking of just dropping out of society and playing video games with my time.

Yeah, I've been playing games again a lot lately to pass the time basically. I haven't even been to the gym in like 3 months now. Every time I say I'm going to go on a certain day I just never do. I'm just tired of this though man. I just don't get what my purpose is if I'm never going to have a good life.

[ItFitz]

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

I've been dealing with physical health issues for a few years now and mental health issues for even longer. My doctor thinks I might have crohn's so she's sending me to a GI specialist. The bad news is that I won't have an appointment until June! And who knows if it will even help?

All of my health problems have stopped me from making gains in the gym, finding a job, and having social contact with anyone other than my immediate family. I feel like I'm going nuts. My social anxiety, depression, and anger issues all seem to be getting worse everyday and there's no way out of it. It's like I'm stuck in a prison!

[BigTimePlayer]

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

I've been dealing with physical health issues for a few years now and mental health issues for even longer. My doctor thinks I might have crohn's so she's sending me to a GI specialist. The bad news is that I won't have an appointment until June! And who knows if it will even help?

All of my health problems have stopped me from making gains in the gym, finding a job, and having social contact with anyone other than my immediate family. I feel like I'm going nuts. My social anxiety, depression, and anger issues all seem to be getting worse everyday and there's no way out of it. It's like I'm stuck in a prison!

Yeah man. The anger in me has been getting bad again lately. I turn into a huge ******* when I'm not feeling well. Always with constant negative thoughts & just wish I can tell everyone to fuk off. I feel I can relate to you a lot where we're dealing with a lot of the same sort of thing with physical & mental health. I just never in a million years thought I'd be in the position I'm in now if you would have asked me when I was a kid. I always thought my life would be sort of smooth sailing where everything would work out but it's literally been the complete opposite in every way. You name it & it's been a disaster whether it's with women, jobs, my health, making new friends, etc. I feel like I'm in a hole that I can't get out of at this point.

[ItFitz]

Yeah man. The anger in me has been getting bad again lately. I turn into a huge ******* when I'm not feeling well. Always with constant negative thoughts & just wish I can tell everyone to fuk off. I feel I can relate to you a lot where we're dealing with a lot of the same sort of thing with physical & mental health. I just never in a million years thought I'd be in the position I'm in now if you would have asked me when I was a kid. I always thought my life would be sort of smooth sailing where everything would work out but it's literally been the complete opposite in every way. You name it & it's been a disaster whether it's with women, jobs, my health, making new friends, etc. I feel like I'm in a hole that I can't get out of at this point.

Oh I know. Up until the age of 11 or so I was a happy, funny, outgoing kid. Then the rug was ripped out from under me when my Dad started drinking a lot and my parent divorced, it was mostly downhill from there. I had a few good years in my late teens where I thought things were turning around, but it all just ended up falling apart again.

[BigTimePlayer]

Oh I know. Up until the age of 11 or so I was a happy, funny, outgoing kid. Then the rug was ripped out from under me when my Dad started drinking a lot and my parent divorced, it was mostly downhill from there. I had a few good years in my late teens where I thought things were turning around, but it all just ended up falling apart again.

That sucks. I think once I moved that was it for me. Nothing ever felt the same to me when I moved away when I was a young teenager. The people I went to my new school with were difficult to get along with a lot of the time. People using me for **** than never hearing from them for so long. I just feel it's going to take a miracle for me to have a normal life again. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

[jamesbwbevis]

Oh I know. Up until the age of 11 or so I was a happy, funny, outgoing kid. Then the rug was ripped out from under me when my Dad started drinking a lot and my parent divorced, it was mostly downhill from there. I had a few good years in my late teens where I thought things were turning around, but it all just ended up falling apart again.

fuk man

[Smashiin]

You guys talk about suicide. Theirs a huge difference between talking about it and attempting to end your own life. I tried committing suicide after my grandfather died and I regret it. Glad I didn't die and woke up the next day. You people shouldn't take your life for granted. You were put on this earth for a reason and it's not to suffer. Do some soul searching and then maybe you'll see the "light". Their is always a light somewhere in the darkness no matter how far out of your reach it might seem. Do you people want to regret not living life and hating the world and yourself and then all of a sudden about to die when you get old and having regrets about what you didn't do on life? I don't know about you guys. But, I want to die with no regrets.

[Big22Bill]

Call B.S if you like but I have it and it is getting better. Chemical inbalance from being addicted to opiates and benzos.

With that said never felt anything more horrific then coming off pysc meds. To combat depression they give you meds and more meds when the only curable way is within. Its fear of the past and your current mindset. In order to cure it you need to reshape your paradigm through educating yourself and changing perspectives.

Working out and eating healthy are very important as well. This may be kind of a trend but I have always been into it for the most part and have done lots of research. Psychedelics are known to help and cure so many things it's unreal. For those that don't know they help you communicate with your subconcious on great great levels.

[GUDsolonius]

Stay strong guys.

I faced my challenge today and came out on top. I did an interview and felt so nervous but I did it.

Just jump in, you deserve your place in the sun. You'd be my friends irl because I would care. Try one little thing different maybe that youd like to in your life. Every little thing helps.

Remember you were born a happy kid smiling

[2RDEYE]

i got into another physical fight at work. god i want to get out of this chit warehouse job but i don't even know where to start. i wish i just went into any random college program when i was a teen. idk where i would be but at least it wouldn't be a fuking odd job filled with fuking degenerates, one would hope.

[Smashiin]

i got into another physical fight at work. god i want to get out of this chit warehouse job but i don't even know where to start. i wish i just went into any random college program when i was a teen. idk where i would be but at least it wouldn't be a fuking odd job filled with fuking degenerates.

Why don't you actually go to college and get your degree in something that you fairly enjoy and can make decent money doing? Apply for college grants/loans if you can't afford it on your own. If you really want to stop working odd jobs then do something about it.

Why did you get in a fist fight in the first place?

[2RDEYE]

Why don't you actually go to college and get your degree in something that you fairly enjoy and can make decent money doing? Apply for college grants/loans if you can't afford it on your own. If you really want to stop working odd jobs then do something about it.

Why did you get in a fist fight in the first place?

i want to, i've been thinking about going into IT but got waitlisted and the other programs need math. so i thought i should just start working on my highschool courses get the requirements out of the way. but i had bronchitis the past 2 weeks and couldn't get anything done.

the other chit i'm interested in is health field but all of those have crazy prerequisites too. i'm gonna try to apply to some math and science courses on the weekend. i don't think there are any IT or health programs i can take without prerequisites.

i have like no highschool math or science. that's what's been fuking up my mindset. i gotta start from grade 10 courses if i want to take the programs i actually want.

i didn't really start it. this one guy deliberately kicked my knee in from behind me to make me fall down "as a joke" (he said) and that pissed me off so much. i can take chit talk to a degree, but if someone pushes me or physically does something to me, my instincts immediately turn to "pissed off self-defense" mode. because i used to get beat up and jumped everyday as a teenager. it's like trauma reflexes or whatever you want to call it.

[Smashiin]

i want to, i've been thinking about going into IT but got waitlisted and the other programs need math. so i thought i should just start working on my highschool courses get the requirements out of the way. but i had bronchitis the past 2 weeks and couldn't get anything done.

the other chit i'm interested in is health field but all of those have crazy prerequisites too. i'm gonna try to apply to some math and science courses on the weekend. i don't think there are any IT or health programs i can take without prerequisites.

i have like no highschool math or science.

i didn't really start it. this one guy deliberately kicked my knee in from behind me to make me fall down "as a joke" (he said) and that pissed me off so much. i can take chit talk to a degree, but if someone pushes me or physically does something to me, my instincts immediately turn to "pissed off self-defense" mode. because i used to get beat up and jumped everyday as a teenager. it's like trauma reflexes or whatever you want to call it.

Well it's good to hear that you're trying to go to college to make something of yourself. Keep plugging and work hard. It'll pay off eventually.

I know exactly what you mean as far as fighting goes. I was also beat on for a long time and I dropped out of school because of it. But, I try to not let it hinder me even though so many years have gone by. Sometimes my mind wanders and I end up looking into the past and ask myself "why did I deserve this?" And I know I did nothing wrong. But, don't worry. Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around.

[2RDEYE]

Well it's good to hear that you're trying to go to college to make something of yourself. Keep plugging and work hard. It'll pay off eventually.

I know exactly what you mean as far as fighting goes. I was also beat on for a long time and I dropped out of school because of it. But, I try to not let it hinder me even though so many years have gone by. Sometimes my mind wanders and I end up looking into the past and ask myself "why did I deserve this?" And I know I did nothing wrong. But, don't worry. Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around.

i feel like if i quit my job now, and just stay home for like a month, i could progress further into college or a career. i would have so much time to look into college programs and do prerequisites but it's like a huge gamble.

yeah idk, i can never get rid of this trauma from bullying. like socially apparently the norm with people is like chit talking at each other as a joke. but whenever people chit talk to me even as a joke in my mind i get so pissed off, but i just laugh it off on the outside. i never chit talk back, i never want to stoop low into someone like that.

[eod8989]

I've gone too long without talking to people. I'm starting to act weird and I'm getting really angry. I avoid everyone at work so I'll probably get fired soon because I hate being there so much.

[BigTimePlayer]

I've gone too long without talking to people. I'm starting to act weird and I'm getting really angry. I avoid everyone at work so I'll probably get fired soon because I hate being there so much.

It could be just me but I'm noticing certain people at my job myself have kinda been ignoring me lately. They would usually just say hi or sometimes nothing yet stop to talk to others when they used to talk to me a bit. I'm starting to feel like an outsider at my job too now. I wish I could just quit at this point since I'm getting tired of going in to that place. Every time I go into my job all it does is piss me off that I've never had a girlfriend when I constantly see couples together. It eats at me so much since I don't know how others do it. Everyone just keeps telling me to approach women like it's nothing. I wish I could just do it but I can't just approach some random woman I never met in my life. Anytime I see an attractive woman I just think in my head that I wouldn't be good enough for her or that she views me like I'm beneath her.

[Smashiin]

i feel like if i quit my job now, and just stay home for like a month, i could progress further into college or a career. i would have so much time to look into college programs and do prerequisites but it's like a huge gamble.

yeah idk, i can never get rid of this trauma from bullying. like socially apparently the norm with people is like chit talking at each other as a joke. but whenever people chit talk to me even as a joke in my mind i get so pissed off, but i just laugh it off on the outside. i never chit talk back, i never want to stoop low into someone like that.

Yeah man just get some loans and grants and pay them off once you get your degree and have a good paying job. I don't know how people hold down jobs while going to college full time. Kudos to them.

You and me are so alike. My anger is exactly like yours along with my "triggers". I smile and laugh when I don't want to and just hold it inside. So many times I wanted to go ape**** on people who fuk with me. But, I was too scared to take up for myself. Now, let someone fuk with me. Either they can stfu and stop talking chit or they're going to get the fuk beat out of them. It's that simple.

[2RDEYE]

You and me are so alike. My anger is exactly like yours along with my "triggers". I smile and laugh when I don't want to and just hold it inside. So many times I wanted to go ape**** on people who fuk with me. But, I was too scared to take up for myself. Now, let someone fuk with me. Either they can stfu and stop talking chit or they're going to get the fuk beat out of them. It's that simple.

it really is that simple. but whenever i get pissed off and stand up for myself, the person/people that i'm getting pissed at are really shocked/scared for some reason, as if I'M the one who did something wrong, but it's like no fukin chit, you were insulting me, what do you expect...

i feel like the people that talk chit or mess around with people have had it easy their whole lives. and never had anyone stand up to them. it really irritates me. this dumb social norm of people being mean to each other for fun.

[Smashiin]

it really is that simple. but whenever i get pissed off and stand up for myself, the person/people that i'm getting pissed at are really shocked/scared for some reason, as if I'M the one who did something wrong, but it's like no fukin chit, you were insulting me, what do you expect...

i feel like the people that talk chit or mess around with people have had it easy their whole lives. and never had anyone stand up to them. it really irritates me. this dumb social norm of people being mean to each other for fun.

You have all the right to get pissed. Fuk their feelings. They should've thought twice before acting like dicks for no reason but to be douchebags.

[MMAMatty]

I'm sorry for your loss. The only positive thing that came out of this is you getting a wake up call. Good job so far bro. I've been on suboxone for 44 days now. I know what it's like to be addicted and having a pill control your life and your fate. We're both going through recovery and you should not let anything get in your way of being sober and making a good life for yourself. I'm not going to lie. I slipped up a week ago and popped some pills. But, the next day I vowed to myself that I'd never touch a single pill again. If you slip up once it's totally ok. It's apart of your recovery.

If you need someone to talk to I'm here brah.

Well thank God I don't have a pill problem. I'm addicted to coke and booze. Seeing people at this program all doped up on prescription meds makes me grateful I don't have the obstacle in my way. If I did, I can almost promise I'd be dead by now. My friend died of a cocktail of prescription drugs. He was only 31. I knew this kid since high school.

I'm starting to feel better though. Been going to tons of meetings, and re-integrating myself into life. I was like the walking dead just a couple of weeks ago. No hope, no faith. Not a good place to be. God allowing, I'll never have to go back there.

[Smashiin]

Well thank God I don't have a pill problem. I'm addicted to coke and booze. Seeing people at this program all doped up on prescription meds makes me grateful I don't have the obstacle in my way. If I did, I can almost promise I'd be dead by now. My friend died of a cocktail of prescription drugs. He was only 31. I knew this kid since high school.

I'm starting to feel better though. Been going to tons of meetings, and re-integrating myself into life. I was like the walking dead just a couple of weeks ago. No hope, no faith. Not a good place to be. God allowing, I'll never have to go back there.

Now, I do love coke. But, it's a rich mans drug. Can't afford to do it all the time. Only do it a couple times a year. Last time I did coke before last week was 4 years ago.

Yeah man pill addiction is fuked up. Never go down that road. I feel like Coke is a lot easier to get sober from than pills. Now, speedballing... whole different monster.

[GUDsolonius]

It could be just me but I'm noticing certain people at my job myself have kinda been ignoring me lately. They would usually just say hi or sometimes nothing yet stop to talk to others when they used to talk to me a bit. I'm starting to feel like an outsider at my job too now. I wish I could just quit at this point since I'm getting tired of going in to that place. Every time I go into my job all it does is piss me off that I've never had a girlfriend when I constantly see couples together. It eats at me so much since I don't know how others do it. Everyone just keeps telling me to approach women like it's nothing. I wish I could just do it but I can't just approach some random woman I never met in my life. Anytime I see an attractive woman I just think in my head that I wouldn't be good enough for her or that she views me like I'm beneath her.

It's not true. You have a sick mind that sees things from your perspective. We literally obsess about rear delts, calves...nobody notices. We think about things people don't think about and never will.

Bull****, you're good enough but only if you think you are. In our current mindset of course we can't get a gf. That's no big deal. Take small steps and you'll feel better for it. You get braver - trust me. It does get easier. That girl has been constipated on the toilet without makeup. She also has a brother whom she loves unconditionally. People are nice.

Start off slow, a gf won't make you happy now trust me. It's incompatible. Relationships are natural. You being good attracts good people. Law of attraction. Be brace.

Do you have anxiety holding you back?

[eod8989]

It's not true. You have a sick mind that sees things from your perspective. We literally obsess about rear delts, calves...nobody notices. We think about things people don't think about and never will.

Bull****, you're good enough but only if you think you are. In our current mindset of course we can't get a gf. That's no big deal. Take small steps and you'll feel better for it. You get braver - trust me. It does get easier. That girl has been constipated on the toilet without makeup. She also has a brother whom she loves unconditionally. People are nice.

Start off slow, a gf won't make you happy now trust me. It's incompatible. Relationships are natural. You being good attracts good people. Law of attraction. Be brace.

Do you have anxiety holding you back?

I'm telling you man most people in this thread are isolated and when you get isolated you start to act weird. If you're going years without social interaction and constantly in your head it's going to fuk up anyone. It's just stupid man I can't help that I work in an office with the same 6 people every day and hate my job so I never talk to anyone. Now I forgot how to socialize and am actually afraid to talk to people because it's been so long. Hell most people wouldn't last a month being as isolated as most of us are.

I don't have the confidence anymore to talk to anyone because every day I go to work and I'm alone

[2RDEYE]

I'm telling you man most people in this thread are isolated and when you get isolated you start to act weird. If you're going years without social interaction and constantly in your head it's going to fuk up anyone. It's just stupid man I can't help that I work in an office with the same 6 people every day and hate my job so I never talk to anyone. Now I forgot how to socialize and am actually afraid to talk to people because it's been so long. Hell most people wouldn't last a month being as isolated as most of us are.

I don't have the confidence anymore to talk to anyone because every day I go to work and I'm alone

i know that feel. i locked myself in my room like 7 months total in my life. added on top that i never really had any friends. i went 5 months straight staying home, and when i went outside, anxiety was insane. just standing in the bus my face was dripping with sweat, and just talking to a cashier was so scary. it's one of the worst feelings in the world. i never want to feel anything like that again. i had no job, no education, no friends, and i lost all my communication skills, and pretty much all my motivation and hope to live. i was practically worse than a ghost. i felt like a rotten vegetable.

[DannStark]

Always manage to satisfy myself with an 'answer' for maybe a week or a month. Then it's back to the start. Existentialism and what not..

Reading some books i love, playing games i love, making gains at the gym, making money.
I can't help but still feel like it has no purpose. My last 'answer' was to not worry about it too much and just do the things i love and enjoy. But since i started doing that i just feel more empty.

[BigTimePlayer]

It's not true. You have a sick mind that sees things from your perspective. We literally obsess about rear delts, calves...nobody notices. We think about things people don't think about and never will.

Bull****, you're good enough but only if you think you are. In our current mindset of course we can't get a gf. That's no big deal. Take small steps and you'll feel better for it. You get braver - trust me. It does get easier. That girl has been constipated on the toilet without makeup. She also has a brother whom she loves unconditionally. People are nice.

Start off slow, a gf won't make you happy now trust me. It's incompatible. Relationships are natural. You being good attracts good people. Law of attraction. Be brace.

Do you have anxiety holding you back?

Maybe it is my fuked up mind but I feel since being screwed up for so long it's really done damage to me. I do notice though that some people really don't say anything to me though while they talk to others. How is that in my mind? I think part of it is probably because I have a quiet personality though so maybe they don't know what to say or that I don't want to talk to them. But there's a few people there that used to talk to me, now at most they just say hi & that's it while they have conversations with others yet. So I really don't know.

And a lot of people aren't nice. You think people care about other people's feelings when they reject someone for instance. Especially if it's someone they think is unattractive. They'll probably text their friends mentioning some ugly guy tried hitting on them today. That seems to be how people are nowadays. Everyone has an entitled personality & they want everything or nothing. It's why so many people stay single because most people aren't good enough for others anymore. And a gf probably won't make me happy but I'm just tired of feeling like I'm being left behind when others get to experience what I wish I could. I just don't get where people meet anyone else these days since everyone just seems to keep to themselves these days. When I'm out everyone is just glued to their phones not talking to anyone so I don't get how it's done or where people meet.

And I have depression, intrusive thoughts, anxiety as well as a physical health issue that's holding me back. Nothing seems to ever get better for me. I've tried meds in the past but with the physical issue I have it seems like meds don't work well with my body. I feel like I'm dying or something whenever I take some sort of med.