[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part II

[OneBigFiasco]

Comorbid Bipolar 2/ADHD reporting in. I have a lot of experience in the signs/learning how to cope. Anyone can hit me up via PM whenever. I got you, brahs.

Are you in college? Do u have any study tips and are u on medication?

[Lama94]

Well today is my birthday and no one gave a single **** about me, my best mate was meant to have breakfast with me but 'slept in' I think i'm gonna end this sad life.

[Ricky_k]

Well today is my birthday and no one gave a single **** about me, my best mate was meant to have breakfast with me but 'slept in' I think i'm gonna end this sad life.

Hey Brah,

I genuinely wish you the best for it I can image that would a rough blow on today.

I'm an aussie too, and I know there are decent FREE support options available. Ever spoken to your GP?

[chilloppy]

It's so crazy how my state of mind has changed in just a couple years. I used to think, "That will never be me," and that I was perfectly fine mentally. Hell, at one point, I even thought people with depression and other disorders were just exaggerating and making excuses, as if their issues are out of their control when they're really not. But now I'm really beginning to accept that I have depression, anxiety, and depersonalization disorder, and not one minute goes by that I don't think about it. Life feels so fuking pointless, routine, and fake. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes I half-seriously wonder if I have to kill myself to take "the next step" in life. Like this all one big test and killing myself will allow me to experience true life and escape this miserable, dream state that I've been trapped in for the last couple years.

I don't think I'll ever get to the point where suicide becomes a serious option, especially because I would never want to risk what it would do to my family. They don't know I'm depressed (or mentally fuked up at all), but they definitely see me as a loser due to the fact that I have no social life in college (most social place on the planet), I've never come close to getting a girlfriend, and I'm just not a likable person in general. And this isn't all in my head. Whenever I interact with anyone - something as simple as holding the door open for a girl or asking a person what floor in the elevator - they look absolutely pissed at me, as if I'm too ugly or too subhuman to even talk to them/be in their sight. But the only thing worse than having a loser son, is having a loser son who killed himself, and I'm sure that reason is what's keeping a lot of other people from doing anything drastic.

I would be careful with diagnosing myself. Your anxiety and depersonalization could be caused by your depression. Apathy is a common sign of depression as is excessive worrying/ anxiety.

Have you been to a doctor? If not, please make an appointment asap. One doesn't think they can help, but they indeed can.

Doctors, therapy or meds won't fix your problems but they'll give you the tools to do it yourself.

(Source: Diagnosed with Depression, ADHD, SAD )

Also, when you have mental problems you can't trust yourself to evaluate what the expression on some girl's face meant. Especially when you have a negative self image.
The way I see the world, myself and others while I am in a depressed episode is a 180 of the way I see it when I'm happy.

If you just take one step, see a doc.

[752]

Had first session with psychologist today, didn't go so well... Really don't think she understands me...but it's like she's just telling me textbook chit.

[OneBigFiasco]

Had first session with psychologist today, didn't go so well... Really don't think she understands me...but it's like she's just telling me textbook chit.

Go to someone else man. When I went to my first appointment my therapist said there won't be any hard feeling if I don't feel comfortable with him and he can help me find a better match if I want to see someone else. Switch therapists until to find someone that you can talk to like your talking to a friend

[EmperorRyker]

Go to someone else man. When I went to my first appointment my therapist said there won't be any hard feeling if I don't feel comfortable with him and he can help me find a better match if I want to see someone else. Switch therapists until to find someone that you can talk to like your talking to a friend

Yeah, a fit is very important here, don't give up if you don't click with your first therapist.

[sword_]

Yo.

Talks for when you feel like you’re not enough

http://www.ted.com/playlists/331/tal...erm=humanities

[bongowongo]

So today I've been feeling pretty down and detached because of life not going where i thought it was .....It's the first time in a while I've felt like this, I wonder if these are the withdrawals arising since I ''weaned'' off my meds a week ago or just typical feels of life not working out .... But I'm sure if I was on my meds, these feels would be supressed and I wouldnt let it affect me. Definitely having a bit of thoughts about just laying down to sleep and rotting forever lol.

Fukk .... I'm probably fukked.

[Arnej]

does anyone have experience with CymGen? I've been on it for about 2 weeks and I still don't feel any different.

[idno]

Yo.

Talks for when you feel like you’re not enough

http://www.ted.com/playlists/331/tal...erm=humanities

watching now.

Anyone here get fasculations? Where random muscles in your body will jump. It comes and goes. Usually one day every week.

[wheynweed]

I've been on psych meds since I was 18. Depressed as shyt lately tho.. the only thing I have is the gym and the gains I've made. Gotta get out of this slump and find a job .

[BigTimePlayer]

My psych today told me I should get out there & try to meet some woman. I'm just thinking like where am I even going to meet anyone at this point. Almost everything is through social media these days. She's the one that brought the subject up since I'm kinda almost indifferent towards meeting someone at this point due to me not liking the way dating is setup today. It does bother me randomly at times though, but not to the point it used to. But where exactly would I even meet someone if it's not through social media/online dating?

[AppsBrah]

My psych today told me I should get out there & try to meet some woman. I'm just thinking like where am I even going to meet anyone at this point. Almost everything is through social media these days. She's the one that brought the subject up since I'm kinda almost indifferent towards meeting someone at this point due to me not liking the way dating is setup today. It does bother me randomly at times though, but not to the point it used to. But where exactly would I even meet someone if it's not through social media/online dating?

Get involved in a non-profit or a dog shelter or something, and don't focus on meeting a girl. Focus on building your basic conversational skills so you can meet people in general, not just girls

[idno]

How do you guys deal with days melting together? And time moving by fast as hell.

[300BLK]

Most of those things don't treat the main cause of the depression/anxiety. Humans suck at actual self-therapy because we can't objectively judge ourselves. I'm not saying that finding a hobby or talking to people is bad, on the contrary. But it will very rarely replace the help of an actual therapist.

The routines (CBT for example) work, that's why they do it. There could be a thousand reasons to explain your situation. Bad therapists, not enough input from you, etc. But for most people, therapists can be a great help. Disregarding them as people who just want your money by following a script is dangerous because it might influence people who are thinking about visiting one, thereby directly influencing their progress.

Btw notes aren't bad. It means he/she is writing stuff down to analyze you better before/after the sessions.

Yeah I'm just one of those people who have mostly bad experiences with therapy, not necessarily traumatizing experiences, just lack of progress. Not to deter to those who seek professional therapists, but it's not a solution for everyone.

The only true sense of feeling great is to accomplish things, or have high hopes for at least. Therapy is as simple as trying to make plans and trying to validate a sense of accomplishment. While drugs/substances are there to help mask the real problems usually.

[OneBigFiasco]

How do you guys deal with days melting together? And time moving by fast as hell.

I plan out my days either the night before or during the morning. If I don't do this I end up waisting hours browsing the misc or watching tv. I always give myself free time at night so I have something to look forward to during the day

[idno]

I plan out my days either the night before or during the morning. If I don't do this I end up waisting hours browsing the misc or watching tv. I always give myself free time at night so I have something to look forward to during the day

Thanks for reply. I make sure to chill out at night too. Planning ahead sounds legit. I find myself browsing misc and tv when I don't know what to do with myself, planning could help with this.

Can anyone relate to this:
I just started deep breathing and feel a lot more relaxed. There's a lot less tension in my hands. Usually I'm playing with my fingers, but the past hour that I've been deep breathing I haven't. Not sure if placebo. Only other time I've felt this light feeling in my hands is when I had a good trip on green.

[kneeonbelly]

i need help. i havent left the house in awhile. i dwell on every negative aspect that anyone has ever done to me, and im going into rages for the smallest reason. i have literally no energy to put up with anyone's chit anymore. i dont know how i got like this and i dont know how to get out of this

[AppsBrah]

Starting to think a simple depression/anxiety wiki in the OP might be a good idea

[OneBigFiasco]

i need help. i havent left the house in awhile. i dwell on every negative aspect that anyone has ever done to me, and im going into rages for the smallest reason. i have literally no energy to put up with anyone's chit anymore. i dont know how i got like this and i dont know how to get out of this

I've been doing the same thing for the past couple years. I only leave for school, to see my cousins and go to my therapist. You need to reach out to a therapist and get help dude. If I never reached out for help idt I would be alive right now.

[MrCheesus]

Okay, if you think your depressed over being single then you just need to grow the fuk up. I mean if you have such a negative outlook on meeting women and **** clearly you are making excuses for your fuking failure because you don't have the courage to go out and meet fuking girls. It's very simple. Go to a bar or ANYWHERE with girls, and grow the nuts to just actually approach a girl without thinking it's life or death and engage in a convo with her where you are not being a beta try hard. You will get numbers and dates. Don't tell yourself I'm ugly or **** like that. Do you know why ugly people don't get girls? Because they're fuking beta and give up before even trying. Your already lonely how much lonelier can you fuking get?

With other depression issues guys, you just have to get out of the mind set. When I Went through depression It was horrible, I was sad, angry, etc and it was clinical and situational. I didn't want to see a doctor because I didn't want to be someone who got addicts to meds and wanted to be strong. For me, I found a character who I could live up to, who I felt was a super person and strived to be like them while I figure myself out. Find out what works for you man, you only have one life. Why live with depression and not enjoy all your opportunities? Good luck to all. I'm still fighting my depression but getting better. Finding my issues and trying to combat it and on overcoming it.

[SilverSpork]

I think a lot of you have "situational" depression. This differs from people like myself who have a chronic imbalance of neurotransmitters. I've been on SSRIs since I was a teen.

Recently been diagnosed as being mildly bipolar. I take seroquel as well now. Seems to help.

I suggest you be evaluated by a professional (psychiatrist or atleast a psychologist/therapist...not your GP).

Sometimes you do need meds, despite doing everything else right (sleep, diet, exercise, lowering stress, etc). I know I do. It quiets my mind enough so I can be cognisant of my thought patterns.

[AppsBrah]

I think a lot of you have "situational" depression. This differs from people like myself who have a chronic imbalance of neurotransmitters. I've been on SSRIs since I was a teen.

Recently been diagnosed as being mildly bipolar. I take seroquel as well now. Seems to help.

I suggest you be evaluated by a professional (psychiatrist or atleast a psychologist/therapist...not your GP).

Sometimes you do need meds, despite doing everything else right (sleep, diet, exercise, lowering stress, etc). I know I do. It quiets my mind enough so I can be cognisant of my thought patterns.

You can't claim to have something that is still a hypothesis in the first place. I agree about evaluation by a psychologist/psychiatrist, self diagnosing does not work, ever.

[ZyraThornrise]

Hey guys, long time no see.

Got my meds changed around. I'm still weaning off the old ones, but the effects have changed my life significantly. I have energy, I'm happy, and I finally have a sex drive.

Been working with a therapist to get my house in order so I can live a more comfortable life.

Also finally got my SSI increased so I have an actual living wage. With my new meds I'm actually thinking about getting a desk job (can't stand for long periods of time). We'll see how things work out.

How is everyone else? I'll read through some of the past stuff and check up on you.

[portamoral]

Hey guys, long time no see.

Got my meds changed around. I'm still weaning off the old ones, but the effects have changed my life significantly. I have energy, I'm happy, and I finally have a sex drive.

Been working with a therapist to get my house in order so I can live a more comfortable life.

Also finally got my SSI increased so I have an actual living wage. With my new meds I'm actually thinking about getting a desk job (can't stand for long periods of time). We'll see how things work out.

How is everyone else? I'll read through some of the past stuff and check up on you.

did you ever find out if you have that rare condition that may be causing your medical issues or not? think it was copper buildup or something similar?

[ZyraThornrise]

did you ever find out if you have that rare condition that may be causing your medical issues or not? think it was copper buildup or something similar?

It was a problem with my liver.

It was causing me to collect metals from everything I ate and I wasn't able to dump them. Apparently it was a side effect of the medication I was on, which is another reason they're switching me off.

[portamoral]

It was a problem with my liver.

It was causing me to collect metals from everything I ate and I wasn't able to dump them. Apparently it was a side effect of the medication I was on, which is another reason they're switching me off.

ah i see, good luck with everything

[AyMayne]

It's so crazy how my state of mind has changed in just a couple years. I used to think, "That will never be me," and that I was perfectly fine mentally. Hell, at one point, I even thought people with depression and other disorders were just exaggerating and making excuses, as if their issues are out of their control when they're really not. But now I'm really beginning to accept that I have depression, anxiety, and depersonalization disorder, and not one minute goes by that I don't think about it. Life feels so fuking pointless, routine, and fake. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes I half-seriously wonder if I have to kill myself to take "the next step" in life. Like this all one big test and killing myself will allow me to experience true life and escape this miserable, dream state that I've been trapped in for the last couple years.

I don't think I'll ever get to the point where suicide becomes a serious option, especially because I would never want to risk what it would do to my family. They don't know I'm depressed (or mentally fuked up at all), but they definitely see me as a loser due to the fact that I have no social life in college (most social place on the planet), I've never come close to getting a girlfriend, and I'm just not a likable person in general. And this isn't all in my head. Whenever I interact with anyone - something as simple as holding the door open for a girl or asking a person what floor in the elevator - they look absolutely pissed at me, as if I'm too ugly or too subhuman to even talk to them/be in their sight. But the only thing worse than having a loser son, is having a loser son who killed himself, and I'm sure that reason is what's keeping a lot of other people from doing anything drastic.

I know that feel.

Whenever I saw people who were depressed, I sorta felt sorry for them, but never truly understood the extent of what it was like and never imagined that I'd one day go through the same thing. But I did. I got out of it halfway through last year through self-administering a lot of CBT and reading a bunch of mindfulness chit. It feels so weird to think back to that depressed state because now that I'm no longer depressed, I cannot fathom how I ever could have gotten so low mentally. But I also feel lucky because for so long, I knew what I had to do to overcome my depression, but I didn't care enough to do it and had zero will to do so... And one day, out of nowhere, my best chick friend (and one of the biggest sources of my depression) sent me to so low of a point that it almost forced my brain to snap out of it very briefly and in that brief moment of clarity, I had decided that I had had enough. Sorta like alcoholics and drug addicts reaching rock bottom and deciding to try and quit.

When depressed, I always thought about suicide. I don't think I'd have ever had he courage to do it and even though I had zero hope in life and had simply stopped caring, I had just enough will to live to at the very least go through life doing the bare minimum. And I suspect my ego factored in as well, because I didn't want to be seen as a victim, or pitied, and I couldn't harm the few people that did love me.

I suspect my depression was similar to yours. Mine wasn't chemical or anything like that... It was due to habitual negative cognitive distortions building up and eventually poisoning my thought processes completely. I had actually reached the peak of my life from 2010 to 2013 and was SO fuking happy... I had so many friends, had my first kiss at 21, lost virginity at 23, made out with lots of girls, and I actually loved myself. But at some point in 2013, I started to feel a sense of loneliness out of nowhere. I started to feel like I didn't belong. I no longer enjoyed drinking and drinking was starting to bring out negative emotions, so I had to quit, which further cut me off from my biggest source of social interaction. I was able to cover my feelings of being an outsider, my loneliness, etc with a band-aid, with a temporary solution for three years, but once I could no longer ride that high, the deep-seated mental/emotional issues I hadn't exactly dealt with from high school came back to haunt me. And despite not being a kissless virgin anymore, I still had never had a girlfriend, which started to eat away at me because it made me feel like something was fundamentally wrong with me... I was able to get close to girls, there was physical attraction there, I always felt like things were going well, but I was still never quite good enough for the girls that I liked to want to date. It killed me that I was always so close and yet lacking something I couldn't quite figure out.

To top it all off, I met a girl that I clicked with like nobody I had ever clicked with before and we got really close really fast... I fell for her and at some point, she started to reciprocate the attraction. We were inseparable and saw each other everyday. She even followed me into my program in school and registered for a bunch of my classes. She somehow managed to bring my guard down and earn my trust to an extent nobody had before. She had the most power over me that any person had ever had and by the time I realized how risky this was, it was too late. Which sucked because she had self-esteem issues of her own and took them out on me. Once my novelty wore off, this girl, who was my best friend for two years (and by now my only friend) started to go cold on me. I saw it coming, but was helpless to stop it once it was happening. The eyes that used to look at me with such warmth, started to look at me with disdain for no real reason. A girl that used to tell me she loved me now only responded with one word. Everything was somehow my fault... Even if objectively it wasn't, she'd find some way to convince me that I was to blame. And in so many little, subtle ways, probably not even intentionally, she managed to chip away at my self-esteem and constantly find flaws and she was like a constant reminder that I wasn't good enough. And putting all my eggs in this one basket further alienated me from everybody else socially and further exacerbated my problems. Years of built up self-esteem suddenly went down the drain and now my brain had rewired itself in such a way that I was convinced that in so many ways, I'm not good enough, and this was the only reality I knew. It wasn't until I met another girl that I realized the trance I was in because this new girl was the complete opposite of my best friend and showed genuine appreciation for me and always brought me up, rather than finding ways to bring me down. For a few days after hanging out with her, the dark cloud of depression was temporarily lifted and I started to feel hope again. This planted a seed, it reminded me of what it was like to not be depressed. And, going back to what I said earlier, my best friend at one point had been SO harsh to me during an argument that it forced my brain to reboot because I could not take it anymore. The rest is history.

Anyways, my bad for the wall of text. Didn't mean to write out this much. Just wanted to share what I went through because it was similar in a lot of ways. I'm still lonely as fuk... I don't have any friends (aside from the good girl I previous mentioned). My best chick friend dropped me out of nowhere and blocked me on social media after two years (she had done this to other close friends of hers before, so I should have seen it coming). I spent the last two Christmases and my birthday alone. I'm 26 and still have never had a girlfriend. But, after overcoming my depression, I can feel hope again. Life is no longer gray and cloudy... It has color again. I still question my worth and have self-esteem issues, but I view it from a somewhat less gloomy perspective. I don't know how to fix your loneliness situation because I'm still working on that myself, but just know that your cloudy, distorted mind isn't the only option you have and you will escape it one day. I really suggest reading "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Reading this made me feel noticeably better within a week.

EDIT: Holy chit, didn't realize I wrote this much. Sorta got lost in thought. My bad, brahs. lol

[Ricky_k]

Hey guys, long time no see.

Got my meds changed around. I'm still weaning off the old ones, but the effects have changed my life significantly. I have energy, I'm happy, and I finally have a sex drive.

Been working with a therapist to get my house in order so I can live a more comfortable life.

Also finally got my SSI increased so I have an actual living wage. With my new meds I'm actually thinking about getting a desk job (can't stand for long periods of time). We'll see how things work out.

How is everyone else? I'll read through some of the past stuff and check up on you.

Glad you're doing better.

We PM'd once you and gave me a shoulder to lean on