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  1. #31
    I love bacon..... Wayne Evans's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by beachguy498 View Post
    her cancer which has spread despite good treatment. Definitely a sad time for family and friends, Rob
    Terribly sad situation.
    I empathize and can relate (wife's cancer long ago) to the grief and uncertainty all are going through.
    I can only echo previous posts and wish all strength through this pensive time.

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  2. #32
    driving an '84 SheepDog IrRon's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by theKurp View Post
    Words from a complete stranger seem so inadequate at a time like this, but I'll write them anyway. I'm terribly sorry for everything you and the family are going through and may the strength of a thousand men carry you through this to happier times. Take care.
    ^^^...you and your wife will be in my thoughts.
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  3. #33
    Crazy Ass Texan so-tex's Avatar
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    Good lord, I just saw this thread. Prayers ascending for you, your wife and family/friends.
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  4. #34
    Broken French Girl mcbourque's Avatar
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    I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayer to you and your family, Rob.
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  5. #35
    fat fukc Fishman15's Avatar
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    Wow, this is so sad. Continue being strong for her and may God help you all through this difficult time....
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  6. #36
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    Oh my God...I am so sorry to hear this! Thoughts and prayers to her and to you and your family.....
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  7. #37
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    Sorry bud. I don't have much else to say. I can't imagine what you are going thru. Stay strong
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  8. #38
    Squats and Milk Bando's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by beachguy498 View Post
    the cancer always wins
    My prayers were that you and the docs are wrong, stay strong Brother.
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  9. #39
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    Originally Posted by beachguy498 View Post
    You are so right. I haven't been in the gym for 3 weeks, but may go once she's parked somewhere safe and I know I can rest up. The big thing now is catching up on sleep. I have been up a couple of times in the 32-36 hour range with zero sleep.

    Like I said, family and friends are around all the time. They force me to go home and get something to eat and rest. I challenged her release from the hospital the other day, I was hoping to get her into a hospital where her oncologist has an office, but it will still give us time to get her into the preferred hospice. We have people working on it from the inside so she's next up for a bed.

    Rob
    well I hope a bed opens up very soon for her then
    and gym time ...well its good for body and soul
    but eating and sleeping are needed too
    or a walk in the park
    or just looking up at the sky
    or seeing kids play
    sometimes the very best you can do
    is just trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy
    and not running stark raving mad down the streets
    I know you are her rock
    and her strength
    and you are tying to keep it all together for her sake
    but please remember that you matter too
    and be nice to yourself
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  10. #40
    Crazy Ass Texan so-tex's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bando View Post
    My prayers were that you and the docs are wrong
    Me too.

    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    well I hope a bed opens up very soon for her then
    and gym time ...well its good for body and soul
    but eating and sleeping are needed too
    or a walk in the park
    or just looking up at the sky
    or seeing kids play
    sometimes the very best you can do
    is just trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy
    and not running stark raving mad down the streets
    I know you are her rock
    and her strength
    and you are tying to keep it all together for her sake
    but please remember that you matter too
    and be nice to yourself
    Beautiful and uplifting.
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  11. #41
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    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm glad to hear of all the wonderful support you both are receiving from family friends and of course the Hospice carers. God bless.
    .
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  12. #42
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    I don't know how we get through these things. But we do. And the more trying, the more it taxes and hurts, the more we realize that we can get through just about anything! I don't know if it's the love and concern that we feel from those around us, family, friends, loved ones, or just the simple fact that we've got to be pulled through the 'knot-hole' backwards several times in our life. For whatever it's worth, from folks who don't even really know you...may God give you strength, peace, the where-with-all to get through what is yours to get through. He always does! Blessings upon you and yours!
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  13. #43
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    very sad to have read this Rob

    never sure what to say on situations like this, so tend to avoid them for that reason
    but saying little is better than saying nothing I suppose

    so prayers in the direction of you and your family at this very unhappy time of your lives
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  14. #44
    Registered User beachguy498's Avatar
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    Again, thanks to all for the support, it means a lot to me.

    I went to work again today to keep things going at work and to take my mind off the situation a bit. Her family is with her every morning and they stay well into the afternoon. I slept in her room last night for a few hours in a chair (not comfy...). She wanted me to stay a while.

    Good news, she has a bed in that hospice we all wanted her to go into. I hear nothing but great things about the place from people that have had family in there. I'm waiting on word when she'll be moved, but expect it to be in the early afternoon at earliest. So one hurdle at a time and this move will help everyone a ton.
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  15. #45
    Registered User Firminator4's Avatar
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    So sorry to read this. Many of us have been where you are right now. Sounds like you are doing everything possible to help her along the way. Praying for her, you and all who know and love her.

    Peace,
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  16. #46
    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by beachguy498 View Post
    Again, thanks to all for the support, it means a lot to me.

    I went to work again today to keep things going at work and to take my mind off the situation a bit. Her family is with her every morning and they stay well into the afternoon. I slept in her room last night for a few hours in a chair (not comfy...). She wanted me to stay a while.

    Good news, she has a bed in that hospice we all wanted her to go into. I hear nothing but great things about the place from people that have had family in there. I'm waiting on word when she'll be moved, but expect it to be in the early afternoon at earliest. So one hurdle at a time and this move will help everyone a ton.
    You must be exhausted BG.

    And that is great news about your wife getting a bed at the hospice.

    You are all in my prayers.
    .
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  17. #47
    WYSIWYG- working on it Frnkd's Avatar
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    Hoping for the best, whatever that may be.
    Prayers for your wife and family.
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  18. #48
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    Originally Posted by Lou1se View Post
    You must be exhausted BG.

    And that is great news about your wife getting a bed at the hospice.

    You are all in my prayers.
    I agree
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  19. #49
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    Prayers for you and your family. I know how rough this is for you all.
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  20. #50
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    So very sorry to hear this. Thoughts are with you and may you receive my prayers.
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    My heart aches for you and yours.....prayers for you all on this journey
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    Stay strong and keep her close. I have been down this road far to many times and I can tell you that your strength will be contagious. My thoughts are for you and your wife.
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  23. #53
    Progress not Perfection cowboybiker's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this.
    I cant imagine what you must be going through.

    Thoughts and prayers for you.
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  24. #54
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    ...
    If you poke a bear in the eye, expect a bear like response.
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  25. #55
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    Praying for wife and your family.

    God bless.
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  26. #56
    Focus on yourself kimm4's Avatar
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    So sorry to read this. Thoughts go out to you and your family.
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  27. #57
    Registered User beachguy498's Avatar
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    The hospice move went well for Barbara and it looks like a nice place. All the staff has been incredible. She's doing better, more awake, talking a lot more that she has in the past few weeks. She's eating more things an she knows that will give her strength. Of course people are there all the time, family and friends.

    I had an incident with her father, he loves to pry into things that aren't his business like the folder of papers I signed when she was admitted. So I had to take that away from him. He thinks that he's a doctor (he used to own a pharmacy, was never a pharmacist though..) and grills nurses on medications, which they can't answer since I'm the HC proxy. He does these things to make himself look smarter or whatever. He's a very selfish man. I saw the same thing when my MIL was in her final days in late 2011 and it irked me at the time.

    Other than that, 1 day at a time. At the hospital, I was told that she may last a matter of weeks, one nurse at hospice told me that it may be less than that. But last Saturday at the hospital, she was given a few days at best and she bounced back from that.

    Thanks again for the prayers and well wishes.

    Rob
    In space, nobody can smell Uranus....
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  28. #58
    Banned latebloomingmom's Avatar
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    two memories stand out in my mind..ok three
    the day I walked down the aisle as a young bride and saw that look on my husband's face as he stood waiting for me
    the day my sons were born
    the time I spent with my mom at the end

    yes that time was hard on me to see someone who was the center of my world get weaker each day
    I hated the helplessness...did a lot of bargaining with God...shaking my fist at the heavens one minute
    hanging my head in shame the next..scared out of my mind ...
    not knowing how I would be able to face my life without this woman in it

    how would I raise my children if they do not know her?
    who would remind me of who I am and tell me silly stories about my childhood?
    who would kick me in the butt when I am being bullheaded
    or tell me I am doing a good job as a new mother on the days when I feel like I have done nothing right

    but those moments at the end...all the stupid arguments we ever had just faded away
    it no longer became about me
    but only about her
    her comfort..when she was awake and wanted to talk I listened
    when she didnt want to talk
    then I would read to her or tell her silly stories from my childhood
    when she slept I watched over her
    watched her breathe in and out and in and out
    when I could not control my emotion I went into the kitchen and looked out window
    so it wasnt in front of her

    it is only now looking back on that time
    that I can see from a long distance
    as if thru a telescopic lense..
    that I did what I had to do
    because it was asked of me
    by this woman who bore me
    and there is no shame in me now
    because I stood by her side
    and did what was right


    this is what you are doing
    and anyone who has stood by the side of a loved one
    knows what you are feeling right now
    so just know that some of us...do understand
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  29. #59
    ☼☼☼ whatevergirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by beachguy498 View Post
    The hospice move went well for Barbara and it looks like a nice place. All the staff has been incredible. She's doing better, more awake, talking a lot more that she has in the past few weeks. She's eating more things an she knows that will give her strength. Of course people are there all the time, family and friends.

    I had an incident with her father, he loves to pry into things that aren't his business like the folder of papers I signed when she was admitted. So I had to take that away from him. He thinks that he's a doctor (he used to own a pharmacy, was never a pharmacist though..) and grills nurses on medications, which they can't answer since I'm the HC proxy. He does these things to make himself look smarter or whatever. He's a very selfish man. I saw the same thing when my MIL was in her final days in late 2011 and it irked me at the time.

    Other than that, 1 day at a time. At the hospital, I was told that she may last a matter of weeks, one nurse at hospice told me that it may be less than that. But last Saturday at the hospital, she was given a few days at best and she bounced back from that.

    Thanks again for the prayers and well wishes.

    Rob
    Thank you for this update...keeping her, you, your families in my thoughts. This has to be hard for her dad. I'm sorry you're all having to go through it. I'm happy to hear that the hospice situation is working out, and that's great about the staff.
    Last edited by whatevergirl; 06-01-2014 at 06:49 AM.
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  30. #60
    Knotty by Nature ChazWood's Avatar
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    Glad to hear that the move went well and she's doing better. I'm sure the constant presence of family & friends is very comforting.

    Hang in there Rob.
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