gf feels i need to move out from parents place, I'm saving for a mortgage

[BoomPowSurprise]

I'm looking for some input. Some cliffs, she's older than I am and living on her own (renting). We recently had some arguments about her not feeling like relationship is "progressing" since I'm still at home and she wants to feel more like we're part of each others lives (so doing more things together that don't just involve watching a movie Tuesday evening or going out somewhere during the weekend. From the beginning she told me she doesn't want to be wasting time. Likewise, I told her I want to be out of my folks place next summer since I'm saving for a place to live instead of paying someone else's rent.

Now we've come to that point where she doesn't want to wait another year for me since she's unsure if the moment I DO move out that we will be able to still get along with the challenges of living with someone else (moreso me being by myself since that entails a whole new list of other responsibilities).

I'm looking for some input if others have been in a similar situation. On one hand I can move out, pay someone's rent, and extend the time before I can buy my own place by at least 3 more years but I would be learning a whole new set of life skills and progressing things with my gf. On the other hand, I can remain with my folks (we're in fairly good terms) where I can save a lot more money for my future where when I buy a place the money will go towards my equity but I risk being too comfortable (no real responsibility so I will be more eager to go out every weekend), not learning these important responsibility life skills and risk losing my gf. Also, my folks will help with a down payment if they can see I can actually properly save enough money for next year so that's a big weight off my shoulders.

Anyone?

cliffs:
move out and become "adult" + pay someone's rent + "progress" with gf

Versus

stay with folks and save for my own property next year + build my equity + sacrifice relationship with girl that I really like (i've sifted through the garbage girls vancouver has to offer and she's one of the few that I actually like)

edit*

After a looooong conversation last night and another one this morning it came to an end. Not sure what I'm feeling right now but sadness is definitely a big one since she was great in many other aspects but it felt like this was all too real life. Like many in here have mentioned at the end of the day I need to do me and do what is best for me. Back to the gym 5 days a week I go. Thats it. Just focus on myself and ensure my life has stability before I get together with anyone else.

I'd like to thank everyone for their advice and input.

[YIAMSOMEBODY]

Bro, fukc that bitch. Seriously.

You're saving up for a legit purchase. It's not up to her to determine when you're ready or how much money she thinks you should have before you move out. If you don't feel ready, don't leave yet. This is a HUGE decision and should be looked at that way.

Sounds like she's trying to push it so she can come over all the time and sh** like that. You live with your 'rents right now, so that can't happen.

Tell her she can either help you with the money you're short, or shut the fukc up. Bottom line.

[Tomohawk92]

bottom line she wants your money
stay where you are

[Dust]

have you ever lived on your own?

[ImDangerous]

Bro, fukc that bitch. Seriously.

You're saving up for a legit purchase. It's not up to her to determine when you're ready or how much money she thinks you should have before you move out. If you don't feel ready, don't leave yet. This is a HUGE decision and should be looked at that way.

Sounds like she's trying to push it so she can come over all the time and sh** like that. You live with your 'rents right now, so that can't happen.

Tell her she can either help you with the money you're short, or shut the fukc up. Bottom line.

this

control ur woman with logic and if her head is too thick to comprehend than dump her ass for being a shallow kunt

[BoomPowSurprise]

Bro, fukc that bitch. Seriously.

You're saving up for a legit purchase. It's not up to her to determine when you're ready or how much money she thinks you should have before you move out. If you don't feel ready, don't leave yet. This is a HUGE decision and should be looked at that way.

Sounds like she's trying to push it so she can come over all the time and sh** like that. You live with your 'rents right now, so that can't happen.

Tell her she can either help you with the money you're short, or shut the fukc up. Bottom line.

she told me I need to "grow up"

have you ever lived on your own?

never. Its incredibly unlikely she's chasing money since she left her ex who was making stacks

[Shardbearer]

why aren't you spending more time at her place if she lives alone? :s sounds like she just wants to spend more time with you.. use her place as a second home

[bongowongo]

What black jesus said.

[mktwelve]

Life skills? Like what, cooking? Cleaning? Laundry? Making your phuckin bed? Seriously, it's not that big of a step as everyone makes it out to be. So you have to mow the lawn every now and then. What life skill does that teach?

Cliffs:
-Do you OP.

[bh4tmannn]

saving for a mortgage......LOL


Here's to the tards that get a house at 300k on mortgage and think they made profit when they sell it for 450k...

[Cadet4life]

doesnt sound like there is any logic in her wanting u to move out other than wanting to "progress" the relationship. you do you OP, you gotta do best for you.

[mrsnruB1111]

It's pretty standard that you move into renting before you own your own joint. If you try to leapfrog the system you'll miss out on a lot of the interim stuff

brb waiting to buy car with cash not credit, don't learn how to drive until age 25
brb waiting to have kids only when you've saved up all the money for college tuition, wife has left you by the time you do it by age 55

[PumkinPie]

Bro, fukc that bitch. Seriously.

You're saving up for a legit purchase. It's not up to her to determine when you're ready or how much money she thinks you should have before you move out. If you don't feel ready, don't leave yet. This is a HUGE decision and should be looked at that way.

Sounds like she's trying to push it so she can come over all the time and sh** like that. You live with your 'rents right now, so that can't happen.

Tell her she can either help you with the money you're short, or shut the fukc up. Bottom line.

And he has spoken

Seriously you are doing something logical and financially responsible, if she cant handle that then tough.

[YIAMSOMEBODY]

she told me I need to "grow up"

Are you texting her right now? I'd tell you to text her something, but it might cause an argument.

Grow up my ass. It's not like you're sitting at home, not working, living off mom and dad. You're working a legit job, saving your money and doing the right thing(s). How much more "growing up" can you do here?

What in the actual fukc of ****s???

[Gabrielle91]

Save for the house. You could end up moving out now and your gf could break up with you a month later. If she isn't willing to wait for you to save up and move out, she isn't worth your time.

[NotANun21]

As soon as you get the "Where is this going..." talk - if we're honest the only place it's actually going is downhill

You're not even living together and you're already dealing with this. Every decision you make together will be like this, even more so if you just give in each time. Next thing you know you're gonna be 40 years old, 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 1 ex wife...

[Mikearade89]

[BoomPowSurprise]

It's pretty standard that you move into renting before you own your own joint. If you try to leapfrog the system you'll miss out on a lot of the interim stuff

brb waiting to buy car with cash not credit, don't learn how to drive until age 25
brb waiting to have kids only when you've saved up all the money for college tuition, wife has left you by the time you do it by age 55

I own a decent car completely paid off and don't have any debt

[mrsnruB1111]

I own a decent car completely paid off and don't have any debt

That's fabulous I'm happy for you

Why don't you live in it then mamma's boy

[JoshSP1985]

"grow up" In a female mind means take on financial obligation before you're ready.

Sounds like the opposite of growing up.

[teaiewold]

Stay where you're at. If the chick was was really serious about long term then she would know that this is the best course of action. Buying a house is a financial commitment and if you are willing to suck it up at your folks place for another year then she should be cool with it. If not tell her to hit the road. Plus once you have a house, you'll be able to get tons of poon.

[WhenTheLastTime]

lol dont move out man if you dont want to. you're gonna hate yourself when that kunt finds another reason to nag at you and break up.

why cant you be a part of her life if she has her own place - she has to be at YOUR apartment? lmao, makes no sense. shes fishing for excuses to dump you. not trying to be negative but its bizarre AF.

and wtf...you're going to become less responsible with a house? doesnt make sense. either you're responsible or not.

[JoshSP1985]

It's pretty standard that you move into renting before you own your own joint. If you try to leapfrog the system you'll miss out on a lot of the interim stuff

brb waiting to buy car with cash not credit, don't learn how to drive until age 25
brb waiting to have kids only when you've saved up all the money for college tuition, wife has left you by the time you do it by age 55

You're an idiot.

You can buy a car for $1500 bucks, you can't do the same for a house... the financial obligation between the two isn't even comparable.

[wnc817]

Tell her to **** off. Save your $$$. DO NOT PUT HER NAME ON THE HOUSE.

[BoomPowSurprise]

Are you texting her right now? I'd tell you to text her something, but it might cause an argument.

Grow up my ass. It's not like you're sitting at home, not working, living off mom and dad. You're working a legit job, saving your money and doing the right thing(s). How much more "growing up" can you do here?

What in the actual fukc of ****s???

No, we had an argument last night. About two weeks ago before we went on vacation I told her that I'm considering moving out if it truly makes sense but I'm still trying to wrap my mind if its the logical thing to do and if I'll truly 'feel like an adult' and get a chance to do all the other bs associated with it. At the same time its I don't want to end it off with her and make her feel like she wasted her time.

[Tweedurr]

Bro, fukc that bitch. Seriously.

You're saving up for a legit purchase. It's not up to her to determine when you're ready or how much money she thinks you should have before you move out. If you don't feel ready, don't leave yet. This is a HUGE decision and should be looked at that way.

Sounds like she's trying to push it so she can come over all the time and sh** like that. You live with your 'rents right now, so that can't happen.

Tell her she can either help you with the money you're short, or shut the fukc up. Bottom line.

This.

These exact same circumstances ruined 2 of my last relationships. Don't let her control you, do what feels best for you.

[Shardbearer]

Do you seriously only hangout with her on the weekend and a movie night on one weeknight? Cause if you do I can see where she's coming from, that's not really a proper relationship is it? Assuming you're 21+

[GlassMoon]

Tell her to go fuk herself

[BrainChild]

lol why the fuk you need to move out to progress the relationship?

I have many friends who got engaged while still living with their folks. Then during the engagement phase they would move in with fiance.

[Tarck]

Bro, fukc that bitch. Seriously.

You're saving up for a legit purchase. It's not up to her to determine when you're ready or how much money she thinks you should have before you move out. If you don't feel ready, don't leave yet. This is a HUGE decision and should be looked at that way.

Sounds like she's trying to push it so she can come over all the time and sh** like that. You live with your 'rents right now, so that can't happen.

Tell her she can either help you with the money you're short, or shut the fukc up. Bottom line.

I was going to say the same thing, albeit less aggressively. And good for you for saving for a home -- I wish I had done that earlier. How old are you and how old is your GF, OP?