Bean's 'Lil Bit' of Everything 2014

[Megin]

You DO have a lot of people around your buzzing life this week.
Its great to see you out and about - just make sure to take care of that 'you time'
(not that 'you time' is much existent to new mothers )

Still...
Make sure you are taking care of yourself

And on that note - Aud and I were thinking Sept/Oct??

[serinebean]

You DO have a lot of people around your buzzing life this week.
Its great to see you out and about - just make sure to take care of that 'you time'
(not that 'you time' is much existent to new mothers )

Still...
Make sure you are taking care of yourself

And on that note - Aud and I were thinking Sept/Oct??

It is not fun.
Things did not go as planned.

murr murr murrrrrr

Me time doesn't mean what it used to. Here is me time. I don't know that I really liked me time. I tend to think too much...free time does me no favors. Being busy, not just busy to be the busiest, works best for me. Doing > thinking.

You two are welcome always.

[serinebean]

This week has been emotionally exhausting. Tomorrow will take the cake, and then on sat I have a b day party that I wasn't planning on that I have to go to. Was planning it as my crash and shut out day Suck it up butter cup, family is worth it.

That being said...

Today I say goodbye to a friend of 14 years. She and I were in treatment together...and she lost her battle with anorexia. I cried like a baby. She was a beautiful sweet soul...and did not deserve to be trapped by her disease.
I look at my daughter and hope she always loves food, and her body....and if she struggles with compulsive behaviors, finds a healthy outlet.

Just sad.

I didn't stress eat, but I ate a bowl of ice cream, and jo jos ...while playing with my daughter and husband...soaking in the sunlight....feeling the softness of my body....and realizing, for me, for now, I am okay. I am lucky to have survived, and feel I have purpose. I wish she could have had a taste of this side of the looking glass...rip good friend.

[Megin]

I feel you, Beans.. really, I do
It makes this side of the looking glass feel so much more special when you realize that not everyone gets to experience it.
That ED is not just a 'phase' that you will grow out of .. that its not easy to 'just stop'
And it has nothing to do with strength or weakness

Some of the most amazing people I have come across in my life time have battled with compulsion of sorts
They have the best intentions .. the biggest hearts .. the most amazing souls - yet they suffer quietly

Its heart breaking ..

I'm sorry you lost a friend - in particular, one you went through hell with. People you meet and work with in treatment carry a special place because they share a likened world

Lots of hugs your way

[shesprints]

Lurking appearing just to say that I am SO sorry. It is heartbreaking to watch someone succumb to that disease. I've had a LONG struggle with anorexia myself and it's so hard to see your way out of the maze of it--it just hijacks your mind, no matter how intelligent or accomplished or determined you are, it's always a fight. I feel for you. (And I'm so glad YOU are healthy, and have a family and a life).

[serinebean]

What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Workout:

Full body
3x10 pushups
3x10 suqats
3x10 dips
3x10 pilates hamstring move (no clue what its called, but damn...)
3x30 sec planks (Pilates style...hard)

Positive Thoughts:
I cant even gush enough about how it feel to have Lil Bit lay her head on my chest and coo...gah, it melts my heart.
I have grown so much in these past 3 years..in ways that I didn't know I could...and I am proud of my hard work. I feel I will be a worthy parent. Being a good example is very important to me, and this is why I am taking on hard situations head on. I am getting good at this, and learning to hold my head high. Ive been through hell, and I still remain caring, hard working, and compassionate. I feel I am coming into being..well...who I was meant to be, and I like her.

[vanessa40]

Beans- I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I have a distant cousin who is also in and out of treatment. It is hard to see her because it breaks my heart knowing i can do nothing but be there and listen when she needs someone. Her mother can't understand why she just will not eat...she moved in with her father so things are not as stressful as they were for her...

I know you are and will be a wonderful parent..just seeing the picture of you all together you can see the love

[Megin]

Just checking in on you and lil bit..





Lets make today count

[vanillabn]

Today I say goodbye to a friend of 14 years. She and I were in treatment together...and she lost her battle with anorexia. I cried like a baby. She was a beautiful sweet soul...and did not deserve to be trapped by her disease.
I look at my daughter and hope she always loves food, and her body....and if she struggles with compulsive behaviors, finds a healthy outlet.

Oh Serine, I'm soo sorry to hear this. How incredibly heartbreaking. I can't even imagine - my thoughts are with you, that's super hard.

Thinking of your daughter, she is lucky she will have you as a great influence on her life. I feel like it's so complicated, all the issues and situations kids face growing up, especially girls... but your experience and your compassion will guide her in the right direction.

*Hugs*

[serinebean]

I had written two other posts, and decided to delete them. As much as I try to keep it dry and focused, I overshare, and I ramble. I have a hard time knowing what is controlled vulnerability vs being out on public display.

I have found my perception is way off from what some consider to be oversharing, thanks to many years of therapy where sharing emotions is encouraged. Its a tough lesson learning that's not what most people are comfortable with. I guess I never saw it as a big deal, assuming many other people share in the human experience, so what is the mystique about?

I have been considering my relationship with FB. I think I am addicted to it, much like I used to be addicted to bb.com.
Partly why its hard for me to write in here despite the lack of responses....but it makes it more for me, and less for all of you lurkers
The hardest thing for me to deal with is feeling isolated. I don't have a friend out here to just pop over and visit. No one to just be with. So FB is there to make me feel connected. It is useful at times, and other times I just feel even worse. Like I am worth the time to 'like' but not to actually make a date with. Having a kid makes it even more complicated.

This too shall pass....

Work is going well. I like it actually. It makes sense. It has a black and whiteness to it that exercise and diet does not.
Hello midlife epiphany ... you went to college for the wrong thing, dummy. Ugh. She hasn't fired me yet, even with Lil bit there...so, lets just keep on keepin on!

My weight is now 142.8. I was 145ish when I got pregnant. Dropped to 138 (thought I was pretty untouchable ha!), and didn't gain until the 3rd trimester...and ended up at 173! This was very hard to mentally take....I am talking about it now to work through the buzzing in my head about my body now. Its like I feel like I should hate my body more now, and I don't. I see the number on the scale and don't freak. The only thing that really bothers me is how clothes fit. The should FIT ME! Not the other way around.

I am still eating less than ideal. I don't know if its laziness or lack of interest in food? I guess it balances out, but its nothing near a diet worthy of who I felt such a strong identity with...meaning, who people see me as, who I felt I was....its all blurry now.
I wonder when I will actually make the move and eat 'cleaner'....or if I no longer belong to a diet/lifestyle. Hum.

That being said, I made a vegan banana bread, sans sugar, and it was delish. I suppose I could plop some cottage cheese on it for a hit of protein and be done with it

As for the loss of my friend...it really sucks. I guess it was mercy in a sense. She was having reconstructive surgery on her jaw due to deterioration of bone...her kidneys where failing, and she was just in a lot of pain. I don't feel like she could escape. Some people are just hard wired differently...and if they get into something addictive, cannot get out. This is why I am a lot less judgmental towards addiction. I know they are still people underneath the face of addiction...and I know many would get out if they could. I am just damn lucky. Her funeral was today...I couldn't make it...and I think I need to plant a tree in her honor.

[vanessa40]

Bean- I have the same feelings about FB. I am not a social person but FB and forum like it gives me a chance to chat with people without it being so draining on me. I know it's probably different because you want to be around people..i do too...to a point. Just know that if i lived closer to you i would "like" you in person too.

I have been having some food issues lately and i made me think of you and your friend. I am a binge eater..always have been..i eat in secret all the time. I can't tell you the number of times i have bought things at the store and ate them in the car before i got home. The worse time was a few years ago..i am to ashamed to say what all happened but it ended with my in a sweat on the floor almost passed out..it was after a bad fight with my mother who as you know i no longer speak too..so it has not been like that since i cut my family out of my life but i still have times where i eat more than i know i should..so like you i am never hard on anyone who has an addiction...but to me food is the worst because you have to eat..

God sorry for the book..maybe i should write in my own journal...lol

[vanillabn]

Do you mean that you have a tendency to overshare? And you don't know what's appropriate necessarily for a forum like this journal?

Interesting your comments about FB... I think a lot of people are addicted to it, actually! But, I still think it's a good place for keeping in touch with a lot of people that you would have otherwise lost contact with. I agree though, it can be more isolating than anything sometimes because it is a 'type' of connection, but in another way, not true human connection like going out for coffee with a good friend... interesting.

I second V's comment, I wish I lived closer and we could hang out!!! I would love that. If I'm ever in your area (which I'm sure I will be in the future) I will definitely be calling you for a visit!

I love the idea of planting a tree in your friend's honour.... very sweet, and long-lasting. Where would you plant it?

[serinebean]

Bean- I have the same feelings about FB. I am not a social person but FB and forum like it gives me a chance to chat with people without it being so draining on me. I know it's probably different because you want to be around people..i do too...to a point. Just know that if i lived closer to you i would "like" you in person too.

I have been having some food issues lately and i made me think of you and your friend. I am a binge eater..always have been..i eat in secret all the time. I can't tell you the number of times i have bought things at the store and ate them in the car before i got home. The worse time was a few years ago..i am to ashamed to say what all happened but it ended with my in a sweat on the floor almost passed out..it was after a bad fight with my mother who as you know i no longer speak too..so it has not been like that since i cut my family out of my life but i still have times where i eat more than i know i should..so like you i am never hard on anyone who has an addiction...but to me food is the worst because you have to eat..

God sorry for the book..maybe i should write in my own journal...lol

I should clarify something. I don't like being around just any ol people. Some just drain the life out of me. I enjoy people who can be silent and not feel the need to clutter the air. I also attract really strong personalities. Its humorous actually...I don't think many of my close friends could stand one another, but I really enjoy the fact that they are who they are, no apologies.

I agree. Food is the worst. Unlike smoking, been there done that, you cannot avoid it and just quit. It is a life time commitment to stay grounded. While things get easier, in terms of recovery, they are never 100% gone. I know I had a few slip ups, and had to work hard to let them slide. Its too easy to go down that familiar road, and I tell myself that it is no longer an option.

Do you mean that you have a tendency to overshare? And you don't know what's appropriate necessarily for a forum like this journal?

Interesting your comments about FB... I think a lot of people are addicted to it, actually! But, I still think it's a good place for keeping in touch with a lot of people that you would have otherwise lost contact with. I agree though, it can be more isolating than anything sometimes because it is a 'type' of connection, but in another way, not true human connection like going out for coffee with a good friend... interesting.

I second V's comment, I wish I lived closer and we could hang out!!! I would love that. If I'm ever in your area (which I'm sure I will be in the future) I will definitely be calling you for a visit!

I love the idea of planting a tree in your friend's honour.... very sweet, and long-lasting. Where would you plant it?

Seriously, do call if you are in my area.

Yeah, my filter goes away once I begin typing. I go into a trance of sorts...and just free thing on the screen. Everyone has a different comfort level. Some people think that having any electronic history is dangerous...it is to a point, but its better than being totally isolated in this world where busy is the thing to be. Meaning, its nice to stay in touch with everyone via FB...but at the same time, it seems like we lose out on connection in exchange for convenience.

[serinebean]

An impromptu trip to the ocean was muchly enjoyed.

5 weighted walks on the beach w about 17.5 lbs on back (aka Lil Bit).
1 walk around the area

So much on my mind, but so little of it actually matters.

I will be back tomorrow.

[Megin]

Just listening
Sometimes i have so much to say as well .. then realize I'm prob. more opinionated than you (or anyone) is looking for - so I'm just kinda sitting here listening to you type without saying much today

I like watching you figure things out - its cool to see your process because its different than mine and I learn how you process which helps me adjust what I do

---
And your part below about having a friend who you can just 'sit there' with reminds me of when you and I went downtown and sat at starbucks for a while when the rain was passing through. We did more sitting then talking - I really love that memory

[Megin]

Also - nice to see you get to the water
Its always a nice place to hang out - and good for lil bit too

[serinebean]

Just listening
Sometimes i have so much to say as well .. then realize I'm prob. more opinionated than you (or anyone) is looking for - so I'm just kinda sitting here listening to you type without saying much today

I like watching you figure things out - its cool to see your process because its different than mine and I learn how you process which helps me adjust what I do

---
And your part below about having a friend who you can just 'sit there' with reminds me of when you and I went downtown and sat at starbucks for a while when the rain was passing through. We did more sitting then talking - I really love that memory

A good memory indeed. I find myself with a lot of restless friends who have to go go go 24/7, and while I love them for that, I get tired lol! I need several personalities to select from lol. That and I don't think a lot of people know how to just be...so its a real treat to find a similar personality.

I never pegged you for being opinionated. You seem really deep in thought, like you want to say a million things, but hold back while you process the right response. I like that about you, but it also drives me nuts...because I don't get to know lol!


Yes, the water was wonderful. Not quite like your beaches...
I was a bit heartbroken....we went to watch the sunset, and found an ambulance and search crew...apparently someone had been sucked under by our aggressive undertow...made it hard to be in the moment. The ocean is both beautiful and deadly...sigh.

Also - nice to see you get to the water
Its always a nice place to hang out - and good for lil bit too

[serinebean]

Workout:

squats 2 sets (horrid form) <--wish I could kick myself in the face for how crappy those looked on film.
Glute bridges x 4 sets
push ups 4 sets

Walk on the beach later.

Food:
why am I so bored with it? Why do I hate prep so much? My hate for prep = eating less than ideal. I also cringe at the old bbing meals I used to eat. CC and oats looks disgusting to me now. Meat, don't want to eat it, but crave it ever since Lil Bit was born. Odd.

Job: going great. Offered more hours! Yay!

Family life: I feel like I never get hubby time. I know this will pass...

Body Talk: not happy today. I am bi polar in my perception of my reflection. Today I feel gross. Working on not letting my thoughts come out in words..I don't want Lil Bit to equate self esteem and worth with her body. Bah!

Positive:
I love her cooing now. When I pick her up she just coo-hummm for mins at a time...its adorable. The ocean was fantastic. I took the first step in videoing my squat and now I know what to address. I know how to eat, its just a matter of getting myself in a routine. Which = setting a goal and following through.

[vanessa40]

First i want to say i love the pictures you posted on FB of the beach..they were lovely.
Also i hear you on not speaking bad of yourself in front of your daughter. I was at about 230 when Brittany was little ..i started losing weight because i wanted to be a good role model for her and also i did not want her to be know as the girl with the fat mother..i made sure the entire time i was losing weight i never called myself fat or made any comments about good or bad food. Children remember everything...
I am happy to hear your job is going great..how is the Christmas house..
Just remember to love you..ok..I think you are beautiful

[geek23ka]

hey serine. i am in the same boat as you re: no close friends near, semi-FB addicted... wondering where the line is for share vs overshare etc etc.

to tell you how out of touch i am, my favorite online person EVAR has a nick name in real life: "Overshare Sara" lol i love her to bits.

you're just finding your way. i think that's a good thing. always open and seeking. i try to continue that way as well.

i read about your friend on fb, and felt terrible for you and for her, and made me think of a good friend of mine, who actually lives ... i think? ... in gig harbor. or a nearby island. whoa. i haven't been in touch with her in a couple years and i hope she's ok. she struggles mightily with anorexia.

[serinebean]

First i want to say i love the pictures you posted on FB of the beach..they were lovely.
Also i hear you on not speaking bad of yourself in front of your daughter. I was at about 230 when Brittany was little ..i started losing weight because i wanted to be a good role model for her and also i did not want her to be know as the girl with the fat mother..i made sure the entire time i was losing weight i never called myself fat or made any comments about good or bad food. Children remember everything...
I am happy to hear your job is going great..how is the Christmas house..
Just remember to love you..ok..I think you are beautiful

You are a good mom. My mother never did that either. She was big her whole life, and I think it was something she just accepted. I accepted it until her health started going downhill...then I hated that about her, and in myself. I was an overweight kid. I figured Id lose weight for the both of us. I didn't get that from her, body hate, I got it from my peers. They can be so cruel. I wish I had better self esteem back then, and the ability to fight back. It seriously felt like them against me...and I fight with feeling like a victim when it comes to the topic of bullies. Some say its not that big of a deal and to stand up for yourself, but when no one is there standing next to you in those years when peers mean so much...its a whole new story. So I wrack my brain on how I can prep her for the same fate. I just hope she is not as awkward as I was.

The Christmas house...did I mention her pantry is organized with wrapping paper held up on the walls by curtain rods? lol. She is a nut, and I love her big heart. Not many people allow their employees to take their baby to work...

I have plenty of self love...so much more now that I am older.

hey serine. i am in the same boat as you re: no close friends near, semi-FB addicted... wondering where the line is for share vs overshare etc etc.

to tell you how out of touch i am, my favorite online person EVAR has a nick name in real life: "Overshare Sara" lol i love her to bits.

you're just finding your way. i think that's a good thing. always open and seeking. i try to continue that way as well.

i read about your friend on fb, and felt terrible for you and for her, and made me think of a good friend of mine, who actually lives ... i think? ... in gig harbor. or a nearby island. whoa. i haven't been in touch with her in a couple years and i hope she's ok. she struggles mightily with anorexia.

For overshare...I used to have some pretty big journals in here. It was the messages I got saying that my honesty helped them through something difficult that spurred me on. Even a few people at my husbands work recognized my handle in here...which was kind of alarming, but they really enjoyed reading me. I REALLY shouldn't care what people think. I don't want a journal where I have to be fake to get followers - be true to yourself and the right people will enter your life

Many people in GH struggle with eating disorders. This town is very shallow and materialistic. Hence my struggles fitting in in my youth- not well to do, not fashionable, and not small boned. The biggest challenge is not giving a rats bum what others think or might think. I still have days where I feel like white trash, but then know that is not the case.
But I have seen several people struggling as of late, its obvious....and its sad. I have applied for a job that might enable me to help.

Sorry this is such a scattered response. I hate not having more time to make it pretty.

[serinebean]

I am so spent today.

2 additional kids at work...so much noise and distraction...even the golden retriever was howling....

sigh. Let go...breathe...


I really just want a nap...a nap would be bliss.

Applied for a job that I probably wont get...but it would be helping people with eating disorders. Cross your appendages and or pray for me Please.

My university sent me this:

Good morning,
I just finished talking to KS, the director of Financial Aid. She asks that you call Financial Aid Office (they close between 12-1 for lunch though!) and ask to talk to her or BZ or LS.
Those three are aware of the situation and can tell you what you would be eligible for in terms of Financial Aid.

Have you filed the FAFSA for this academic year (14-15)?

Also, you need those 8 hours the department will help you with - how are you completing the 8 hours of electives to reach the state-required 128 hours? We had talked about you taking CLEP exams or correspondence from some other school (not a two-year school - you are maxed out on those hours). The other option would be to try and do 16 hours this fall term (full-time) but that would be really hard with the child care issue (and the fact that PLU doesn't have a child care facility on campus)! The other option is to take 12 hours here (Full-time) and then 4 hours in J-Term but that intensive 4-5 days a week class is a little problematic too.


Let me know if you want to talk to me about the class issues. I will be gone for two weeks starting next Monday but then am back for the duration (till Christmas!). Regards, KP


A) we did not talk about those exams
B) I was told by my advisor and head of the KINS Dept that I only needed the 2 classes to graduate. (8 credits only)
C) Even if I wanted to take 16 credits...4 courses...I couldn't afford child care. And I don't want to pay for J-term
D) I don't need any more freaking electives!!
E) 8 credits is part time, meaning aid will be tricky.

I feel really sad about this. And while I don't want to give up, I am really sick of this sh*t. REALLY SICK. In transferring to 3 colleges over 14 years...I have acquired 235 credits, and I am sick of chasing this carrot.

I will probably get over this. I am just venting....so much of me just wants to walk away and find something more sensible. Seeing as this degree is not useful unless I plan on getting a masters.

Food was good today. I feel better physically and mentally.

Positives
Lil Bit is pulling herself up to stand. The girls wore her out and she slept for over an hour! My hair will grow back. I have wine in my fridge....

[serinebean]

No job.

Wrong skill sets, but they will 'keep me in mind''.

Meh.

[vanillabn]

Sorry to hear about the job Too bad. I hope another 'perfect fit' comes along.

That's so frustrating to hear what you're going through with school!! I had a similar situation in my final year of University I was working full time already but couldn't afford to pay off my tuition from the previous semester, which obviously held up my registration. When I finally was able to register in 3 courses to finish off my degree (technically the minimum for the 'full time' required to get student loans) because I f***ed up the enrolment dates, they didn't count them as the same 'semester'! I ended up taking ages to get my courses completed, paid for, etc... plus at the same time, because they didn't consider me a 'full time' student, my previous student loans went into repayment and I was expected to pay those at the same time :/ It's SUCH a bad system... seems like it has a lot of problems in both the US and Canada.

You have wine in your fridge... positive thought!! That's a good thing! lol

[geek23ka]

repeat until it sticks!
you are almost done. you are almost done. you are almost done.

my husband lost his **** at two credits before graduation because there were terrible scheduling issues *and then* he found out he needed a couple more classes to apply for the graduate program he wanted. it suuuuuuuucked, but he got through it and you will, too.

one step at a time, right?

fingers and toes crossed for that job.

[serinebean]

Sorry to hear about the job : Too bad. I hope another 'perfect fit' comes along.

That's so frustrating to hear what you're going through with school!! I had a similar situation in my final year of University : I was working full time already but couldn't afford to pay off my tuition from the previous semester, which obviously held up my registration. When I finally was able to register in 3 courses to finish off my degree (technically the minimum for the 'full time' required to get student loans) because I f***ed up the enrolment dates, they didn't count them as the same 'semester'! I ended up taking ages to get my courses completed, paid for, etc... plus at the same time, because they didn't consider me a 'full time' student, my previous student loans went into repayment and I was expected to pay those at the same time :/ It's SUCH a bad system... seems like it has a lot of problems in both the US and Canada.

You have wine in your fridge... positive thought!! That's a good thing! lol

RE: Job > they are missing out. I know for a fact I would be of great value to a company like that, and I don't have that confidence with much.

RE: School > so aggravating. It should not be such a struggle and financial burden to become educated. Good for you for powering through...that sounds horrible.

I had wine in my fridge...lol

repeat until it sticks!
you are almost done. you are almost done. you are almost done.

my husband lost his **** at two credits before graduation because there were terrible scheduling issues *and then* he found out he needed a couple more classes to apply for the graduate program he wanted. it suuuuuuuucked, but he got through it and you will, too.

one step at a time, right?

fingers and toes crossed for that job.

I may just have to wait until she is older and in school herself to finish. I don't know just yet what my solution is...but I will find it.

Again, another nightmare in degree completion. I get a little green eyed at the people who just glide through.

No job. Piss. Guess I need more skills....argh

[serinebean]

E almost dug his own grave today. I mentioned that I worked my butt off for a rather small paycheck. He made the remark, eluding to the fact that I forgot how hard it was to work for nothing. He is now holding Lil Bit while doing his side work. He made the remark that it is impossible to get anything done with her.

[Megin]

He is now holding Lil Bit while doing his side work. He made the remark that it is impossible to get anything done with her.

Ahahahha .. thats awesome
Actually made me chuckle a bit out loud - Oh E




School system = major sucketh everywhere
Its one of the only places you have to pay for where they still treat you like a piece of meat
Its harder to get through the enrollment process then the actual classes

stupid stupid stupid

[vanessa40]

I can relate to your college issues. My daughter had the same problem when she transferred from the college here to the college where she now lives. It was a nightmare..Oh this credit does not transfer..you need to take theses electives instead..to me most electives just mean extra money for us. Then she had to jump through all the hoops to get the money to go..I can't imagine how she would have been able to do all this with a child and trying to work.
I have always thought if you have the grades or have proven that you want to go money should never stand in your way. I hate to think of all the wonderful people we have lost because they did not have the money. All school should be free. Why is it K-12 is free but if you want to go on you have to pay. Lord i could preach on this all day..and don't get me started on health care....I would hate to lose friends...i know you never discuss politics or religion...lol

Anyway i am sorry about the job also..and hubby better watch out...lol
You try and have a nice weekend

[serinebean]

Quick But Effective W/O

4 x 30 wall sits (focusing on knees out and upright torso)
4 x 10 pushups
4 x 10 glute bridges off of ottoman

Thoughts:
Wall sits are tough! I had video recorded my squat form last week and was mortified So square 1.
I feel a weird 'pain' at the top of my knees with this form. Not sure whats up with that, or if I am trying to 'fit' into a squat mold that I don't fit.

Push ups were on knees.

Felt weak and unmotivated the whole time - frustrated.

Gave away a pair of my hot jeans - they used to make my butt looks so good, but gave me the worst muffin top- best that they get good use by a chick with a fabulous rear end.

Positives:
I upped my water intake. Ive taken my vitamins. I am pursuing a new degree option online...about as far from kinesiology as you get -> accounting.