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  1. #91
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    serinebean is offline
    Originally Posted by vanillabn View Post
    Sorry to hear about the dinner the other night, and what you had to listen to. That's so frustrating... and I can only imagine that even though you have been ED free for many years, it's still tough.




    Absolutely... while I'm not a mother, many of my friends are mothers and it can be frustrating even for me to hear snide remarks, comments, judgements on someone else's choices, lifestyle, decisions and basically everything. I don't understand it. Your last sentence really is the point. She is happy, healthy and so are you. That's ALL that matters. Someone else is always going to have an opinion on everything you're doing wrong or how they would make different choices. I can't imagine your frustration because it even irks me, and I don't have kids yet!! lol.
    When and if you become a parent it becomes overwhelming. Even your pediatrician will tell you what to do hahaha. Thank you for understanding. Its weird because I am very tolerant of many things. It makes no sense that people should be just like me. I pay attention, and pick up bits here and there if they seem helpful.

    Being a mother is making me grow in ways I never expected. Especially in having to stand my ground and ignore the comments.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  2. #92
    Does it for the lurkers slobey's Avatar
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    OH-MY-GOD.. I had to brush the dust off of my bb.com account but when i did, lookie the treasures me findddd !!! guess whos back, back again.. beans is back. tell a friend... [HEY MEG that was supposed to be you!]. Can't wait for all the writing youll have in here when lil bit is doing her push up routine.

    love ya!
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  3. #93
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by slobey View Post
    OH-MY-GOD.. I had to brush the dust off of my bb.com account but when i did, lookie the treasures me findddd !!! guess whos back, back again.. beans is back. tell a friend... [HEY MEG that was supposed to be you!]. Can't wait for all the writing youll have in here when lil bit is doing her push up routine.

    love ya!
    Slobey!!!! Wassss apppp!!!!???
    I kinda figured your rommie might have told you hahaha, because you both talk about my awesomeness all the time right? Over tea?

    Thanks for the love...I need it today
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  4. #94
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    serinebean is offline
    Workout:
    Brittany challenge accepted
    5 rounds of 10 reps for
    thrusters
    burpees
    kettlebell swings

    Add on our 30 min flat walk this am, and we are sitting pretty

    This was brutal. My legs were sore from yesterday...and they wouldn't jump on command

    Thoughts:
    Neighbor (that I like, and mother of my good dude friend all through middle and hs) came over. Details aside, she had ran into my grandfather...whom I have not spoken to in 3 years. (its is the correct use of whom, right?)

    She told me he was genuinely upset that he hasn't met Lil Bit, and feels I disowned him. Bah.

    So I was the bigger man, and wrote him a letter. I explained how I felt like a burden, and how everything seemed to have a dollar sign attached to it. I also said I could list out the events that led me to that conclusion, but that my letter was not an attack.

    I left the ball in his court, and sent a few pics.

    Honestly, I love that man. I just think he made some very poor choices, and acted out in anger...which is derived from hurt.

    My face is flushed typing this out.

    Next letter will be to my aunt Its time to rip this band aid off!!

    Positive Thoughts:
    I really have some grit. I act with integrity and honestly. I am strong to be able to reach out, and to forgive.
    Everyday I try to be a better person.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  5. #95
    Push harder vanillabn's Avatar
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    Hi Serine!

    Looks like a really tough workout!! Good job

    I think it's good you wrote a letter - I feel like writing is a good opportunity to really get your true thoughts out on paper, some time to think about it, and an opportunity for the person to read it with a bit of 'space' to react. Sounds like lots of history and emotions involved... that must be tough.

    Love the positive thoughts
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  6. #96
    Believe In Yourself vanessa40's Avatar
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    I have to say i admire what you did...being the bigger person. I hope it all works out. As you know i don't speak to my family but it's a lot different. It's good if things can be resolved and put in the past if all parties want to admit what went wrong ..I wish you luck.
    Wow i have to say that was some workout..those burpees are killer
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  7. #97
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Work out:

    40 min walk

    4 rounds of 10-15 reps each of:
    pushups
    alt knee to alt elbow ab move
    squat jumps
    deadlifts

    Did the job.

    All the other fluff is above, but I will add that my diet was much cleaner after my pep talk
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

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  8. #98
    Push harder vanillabn's Avatar
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    Great work Serine! Ahhh, squat jumps kill me EVERY. TIME. Those things are way harder than they look. You seem like you're really doing well!

    Good luck with the family stuff... I can imagine how hard it must be, but proud of you for taking the 'first move' so to speak. You're a strong person!
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  9. #99
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Thanks VB! I made myself touch the ceiling each rep or it didn't count haha!

    As for family stuff...I think I really need a shrink I try not to spill it out in here, but it just bubbles under the surface otherwise.





    Workout:
    Long untimed walk with Zoey. It was hot. Gah!

    Thoughts:
    Still no response from Grandfather. It hurts...like more than I want it to.
    Wrote to my aunt also. I stopped talking to her when she evicted my uncle from the house he was living in because my Grandfather conveniently gave her the deed to the house. So she has not met my Lil Bit...and I know that hurt her. I feel bad. But at the time I wanted all toxic people out of my life...and in doing so removed all but one person that was my original family.

    Its just a mess. I am in the middle even thought I shouldn't be. And with my GF not responding...it makes it even harder to move beyond this.


    Diet: I am working really hard to eat fruit and veggies when I just want a handful of chocolate chips. I am feeling sick eating the way I have been, and its a bad cycle to be in.
    Especially since I am my daughters only source of nutrition...I cant let this stress interfere with my head. Damnit!

    Getting my hair cut today. Its a break from kiddo, and I NEED this to feel better about how I look. Hair is still falling out due to hormones...fun times. And I already got my TOM back wth? Seriously? Why is my body so good at thriving?

    I am babbling...

    Positives:
    I did not eat the whole bag of chocolate chips.
    I start work soon and will have my own cash.
    I have amazing friends who keep me afloat.
    I am getting better at working through these patches...but they still suck! ha!
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  10. #100
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    serinebean is offline
    Work outs:

    4 mile walk with Lil Bit in moby wrap
    Yard work
    Circuit from sweat on fitness

    Otherstuffs:
    still no reply...
    been fighting some pretty sad feelings.

    Also got the cold shoulder from an old friend at the 4 mile race - could be because it took us so long (walked) and that he had to wait. But it was kind of the straw that make me go from feeling ok to feeling kinda low.

    Positives:
    Hubs walked with me. This was awesome.
    I plan on having a 2nd child...and I guess I get to rebuild my own family, sans the heartbreak. Even though I am feeling low, I know this will pass, and I know its up to me to choose to rise up. <---really don't feel like it right now, right now I just want to sit here..and know that its okay to be unpositive from time to time
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  11. #101
    Believe In Yourself vanessa40's Avatar
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    Bean..I understand how you feel about your family..it's so hard dealing with all the feelings that go with not having family in your life. I hope things work out for you. Toxic people are bad and just drain you.. My mother is an emotional vampire...she just sucks all the life and feeling out of you..sometimes i wonder why she even had children to treat them the way she did..My life and the life of my daughter became so much better once i ended all contact with my family..You only have one life and it should be a happy one.. I wish you luck with your family
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  12. #102
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    serinebean is offline
    Originally Posted by vanessa40 View Post
    Bean..I understand how you feel about your family..it's so hard dealing with all the feelings that go with not having family in your life. I hope things work out for you. Toxic people are bad and just drain you.. My mother is an emotional vampire...she just sucks all the life and feeling out of you..sometimes i wonder why she even had children to treat them the way she did..My life and the life of my daughter became so much better once i ended all contact with my family..You only have one life and it should be a happy one.. I wish you luck with your family
    While I am not glad you understand, I am glad you understand. It helps to hear you made it through, and that the choice I am making are good ones. I really appreciate your support on this. I am so focused on my daughter and E...its all that matters right now.

    I need to let go, more than I need luck. Just waiting for that squishy feeling in my stomach to go away

    I too wonder why some women have kids...especially more than one if they hate it so much. Its defiantly not for everyone...but we got you out of the deal, so its a win
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

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  13. #103
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Workout:

    push ups
    shoulder presses w #15 DBs
    Rubber band shoulder move? New to this weirdness
    Hyper extension on ball
    Dips
    Bicep curls

    Thoughts:
    maybe it was because I carried Lil Bit, but my hips and ankles are so sore. Its annoying. I am told I still have relaxin floating around in there...and I hope that is the case. This is why my workout was all upper

    Positive Thoughts:
    Its been a great weekend. 3 days with E makes it super productive too -> and I like that. Got some pretty flowers and decorative grasses to plant - and it all makes the yard look better.

    ***Have a plan in mind on how I can sell this place and get out from under it. I REALLY want away from all these people and out into a more rural area. Humm.

    Hope all of you have a great rest of the day! Thanks for tagging along.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  14. #104
    humble beginnings geek23ka's Avatar
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    you are so honest and true, serine. it can be hard to deal with for people who hide behind untruths and distortions. you have empathy for them, right? have some empathy for yourself, too. sometimes i look at your life and get jealous. you see things that need to be done and DO THEM. i see things and want to bury my head in the sand. just popping in to say i think you are awesome. i hope your GF and aunt are able to deal with you on your terms. <3
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  15. #105
    Uncarved Block Megin's Avatar
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    I hear you on the family stuff - I know you've been battling it your whole life
    What I think is pretty cool is that you are TRYING to reach out to your extended family for Zoey
    You are trying to give them a chance to know her even though it pains you to go through the experience of having to resurface old feelings

    You are a really good mother, Beans
    I mean that
    Its so cool to watch

    And I'd say its completely ok to feel down about the whole thing. You don't need to 'see the light / positive' about it right now - just feel it out

    ---
    I like that you are getting out and being active with Zoey - so cool you did a 4-miler with her!
    I heard you about the friend having to wait part .. but cool you got to do it with Zoey !!
    Right now it doesn't matter what the results will be.
    Whats more important is that you test the waters. You share the story.. you add a different aspect to your recovery..

    Leap and the net will appear..
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  16. #106
    Believe In Yourself vanessa40's Avatar
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    Really you want to move..I can understand that..when Brittany was little we lived in an apartment for a few months and it was no fun..i loved it when we moved out in the country were she could run and play..
    Love seeing the pics of you and Zoey and E ..he looks like a great dad..I wish Brittany's dad had been more than a sperm donor..oh well
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  17. #107
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by geek23ka View Post
    you are so honest and true, serine. it can be hard to deal with for people who hide behind untruths and distortions. you have empathy for them, right? have some empathy for yourself, too. sometimes i look at your life and get jealous. you see things that need to be done and DO THEM. i see things and want to bury my head in the sand. just popping in to say i think you are awesome. i hope your GF and aunt are able to deal with you on your terms. <3
    All that therapy pays off after a while That work on resilience has helped me a lot over the past year or so. Prior to that I too stuck my head in the sand. I just decided that I needed to change in order to move on out of this rut.

    Thank you, its good to see you around these parts!

    Originally Posted by Megin View Post
    I hear you on the family stuff - I know you've been battling it your whole life
    What I think is pretty cool is that you are TRYING to reach out to your extended family for Zoey
    You are trying to give them a chance to know her even though it pains you to go through the experience of having to resurface old feelings

    You are a really good mother, Beans
    I mean that
    Its so cool to watch

    And I'd say its completely ok to feel down about the whole thing. You don't need to 'see the light / positive' about it right now - just feel it out

    ---
    I like that you are getting out and being active with Zoey - so cool you did a 4-miler with her!
    I heard you about the friend having to wait part .. but cool you got to do it with Zoey !!
    The extended family bit is a slow going process. Its still a bit awkward for all of us, and I still don't know if we 'fit'. Only time will tell.
    When people who I am, I have to stop and think....Im the daughter the oldest brother who has been mia for over a decade, and was born out of wedlock hahaha! I spare the details, but it is funny when I think about it. I mean, there is no easy way to explain that one to a very conservative bunch of people.

    As for who I recently reached out to, that was my grandfather on my mother's side. The one who was my special person growing up. Being disowned by him is a new one...and something I never really expected to deal with. Its a rollercoaster with this one, but, as with all things, we get through it. Its easier to deal now that Im older and have more skills to cope.

    Got to be active with her. My mom did Richard Simmons with me, and gave me a good start in that sense. I think it sticks with us if we are taught it early. I got cheered on too haha! And got kudos for babywearing.

    Thanks, Megs. I am doing my best to be a good mother. If I had of known I would have loved it so much, I would have done it sooner. lol.
    Originally Posted by vanessa40 View Post
    Really you want to move..I can understand that..when Brittany was little we lived in an apartment for a few months and it was no fun..i loved it when we moved out in the country were she could run and play..
    Love seeing the pics of you and Zoey and E ..he looks like a great dad..I wish Brittany's dad had been more than a sperm donor..oh well
    hahaha! My dad was a sperm donor too! I am glad I chose a good father for lil dizzle...shoot, I wish I had him for a dad myself. Hes truly 1 in a million. I try not to over do the pics....sooooo hard haha!

    On moving next.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  18. #108
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Workout:
    long nature walk with Lil Bit. That was yesterday.
    Today I will do something with BW moves in my living room *will be back

    Thoughts:
    1st day at the new gig. I am now officially a contract worker!

    I never thought Id be doing this sort of work, but its a good skill to have. I may choose it as a profession if I don't gouge my eyes out....crunching numbers and data entry takes a special sort of crazy to perform days on end...
    The lady I work for is from the South, and says 'ya'll', and is ocd/type a like I am if left to my own devices. She is also a huge fan of Christmas...my own personal hell too, Vanessa hahaha!

    School: I had written to the advisor of the president about my situation, and she is trying hard to find me a solution so I can finish off my degree. Seems I may have to finish despite myself.

    Hubs: enrolling in college himself. Leaving me with lil bit all the time. It feels like a huge challenge...but what choice do I have? Ive got to stick this out....and its not forever *deep breaths*

    House: no kitchen still. and in hub's 'nonexistent ''free time''' he is supposed to be building cabinets with his dad out in the sticks (45min-1 drive away). *bangs head on desk to make it all better*

    MY PART: I have a relator coming to assess this house tomorrow Im serious. I need out.
    I also feel stupid for wanting away so bad. This is 1/3 of an acre in a very nice city, close to the free way, near churches and schools and parks and trails and clubs and fairs and trollys....and I just don't want the memories. I need SPACE. I want chickens. I want to shoot cans if I want. You know? Or run around in the buff and not scare the neighbors hahaha.

    Positive:
    I will workout today. I am working. I am strong because I don't fall into the role of victim. Happiness is a choice, and I work for it.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  19. #109
    Believe In Yourself vanessa40's Avatar
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    I can't remember if i told you that when i was at 230 and Brittany was little we would work out with Richard Simmons Sweating To The Oldies.. I can still remember her singing Big Girls Don't Cry...lol

    Wow so you really want to move..and Chicken too.. You must be following Julia and her chicks on FB...lol
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  20. #110
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vanessa40 View Post
    I can't remember if i told you that when i was at 230 and Brittany was little we would work out with Richard Simmons Sweating To The Oldies.. I can still remember her singing Big Girls Don't Cry...lol

    Wow so you really want to move..and Chicken too.. You must be following Julia and her chicks on FB...lol
    Hahaha! My mom was a big lady. I think 190ish at 5'7" when I was young, but she never addressed her issued and it got really bad towards the end. I felt for her, because I understand food addiction, from another angle, but its the same compulsion...

    I still have his tape. I think he is a cool dude and did a lot of good.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  21. #111
    Push harder vanillabn's Avatar
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    Wow, you're doing awesome. Congrats on the new job - sounds interesting! So it's really only the Southern states that use 'y'all'? It's always been a funny word to me because you never hear it up here! lol.

    Hope everything works out with the school - what's the issue? Did I miss that?

    Again, love your positive thoughts. CHOOSING happiness... absolutely You do a great job of that.
    *Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.*
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  22. #112
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vanillabn View Post
    Wow, you're doing awesome. Congrats on the new job - sounds interesting! So it's really only the Southern states that use 'y'all'? It's always been a funny word to me because you never hear it up here! lol.

    Hope everything works out with the school - what's the issue? Did I miss that?

    Again, love your positive thoughts. CHOOSING happiness... absolutely You do a great job of that.
    I like 'ya'll' it is fitting!

    School...nothing to miss....its just a long drawn out mess.
    Cliff notes: this is my 3rd college, and first private university. I got great financial aid, and had no cares in the world since I had no baby. Took 2 summer classes that had to be paid out of pocket. Baby happened. And I feel behind in payments, so I couldn't register for my final semester. Had no way of getting a job until now. Oi.

    Thank you, I am glad you like it
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  23. #113
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Today has been a day.

    Work: ended up with an error. The totals didn't match up in the end, so it was a game of 'find the error'. After assuring her I had double calculated the commission totals, policy numbers and making sure it all matched..I had to recalculate all of the commission totals for a 3rd time because everything else matched up. I STILL found no errors. Turns out it was something on her end, and I was sweating for no reason at all hahaha! I thought I was the biggest idiot ever...and have to say it felt good to know that I hadn't started off on the wrong foot!

    Kid: she is 4.5 month tomorrow. I go a 'mother of the year award' moment today and took her in to make sure she was ok. The little (Big) is not 17#!!! She also grew in height. She is NOT obese or overly fat, just in the 97th percentile for her height/ and 96th for wt. Poor thing is going to have the same issue I did growing up....being bigger than the boys until near the end of high school.

    Workout/ Diet:
    Lots of mango. A glass of wine. A piece of organic chicken that lil bit tried to steal...just in a funk.
    I suppose if I wasn't typing I could be working out...but I am just overwhelmed atm.

    House:
    Dude said to call him when we get the kitchen and bathroom finished. Considering using my uncle, a contractor, to do the work ahead of time and just get paid out when we sell. Don't know....must think. I need space.

    Hubs:
    said he wants 3 kids.

    Me:
    you better be making it rain, yo.

    Positives:
    I can survive data entry. I have not killed my daughter. Tomorrow is another day. And Friday is approaching.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  24. #114
    Uncarved Block Megin's Avatar
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    Really gonna sell that house?
    After it got all cleaned up, I kinda liked it!
    But memories can be tricky - all I can really remember about that place is having the vacuum explode in my face ! Lol

    --
    3 kids = !!

    ^^ That said - I LOVE having 3 brothers. I'm sure having 4 kids was a nightmare for my parents, but I LOVE having siblings
    -shrug-

    ---
    Re: booking - ga'h .. I still deal with that on a month to month basis when I do the business bank rec - I somehow am always off
    It sucks to keep checking over the numbers. Can drive you batty !!

    Yes .. Friday is around the corner though
    Its coming .. its coming

    Right now it doesn't matter what the results will be.
    Whats more important is that you test the waters. You share the story.. you add a different aspect to your recovery..

    Leap and the net will appear..
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  25. #115
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Megin View Post
    Really gonna sell that house?
    After it got all cleaned up, I kinda liked it!
    But memories can be tricky - all I can really remember about that place is having the vacuum explode in my face ! Lol

    --
    3 kids = !!

    ^^ That said - I LOVE having 3 brothers. I'm sure having 4 kids was a nightmare for my parents, but I LOVE having siblings
    -shrug-

    ---
    Re: booking - ga'h .. I still deal with that on a month to month basis when I do the business bank rec - I somehow am always off
    It sucks to keep checking over the numbers. Can drive you batty !!

    Yes .. Friday is around the corner though
    Its coming .. its coming

    Id like 3 kids too, or the idea of a having a big family. I don't know that Id like being preggo 2 more times...errrr....bleh. But the payout it most amazing. Id like one more for sure. Being an only child is for the birds.

    Hahaha..that vacuum incident makes me cringe. Welcome to Wa! Enjoy a face full of crap!

    The pictures I post are of the GOOD things. There are many 'needs improvements;.

    To list it out:
    4 more windows
    Trim and seal windows
    pressure wash house
    caulk and seal siding
    paint house
    make wrap around stairs for front deck
    build a KITCHEN
    redo flooring in bathroom & finish trim in there, seal off tub, new toilet
    need a dishwasher (good for resale)
    till and seed back yard for grass
    landscape work
    fix gutters
    install a heating system
    pump septic
    fix garage door (broken 2oo lb door)
    bee hive removal
    and I am sure there is more...

    Basically, I don't want to spend too much more time and money here. Id like a few acres...get away from the crazies. Set anchor.

    Booking is making my poor eyesight even worse lol!! But I kinda like it in a sick way.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  26. #116
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    This is turning into more of a journal than a workout journal. oups.

    Working this week has been exhausting. I have to get up early, get packed, get looking proper like, drive 20 mins out, un pack and set up in her house, work, pack up, drive home, un pack, clean, feed, cook, and watch her until E gets home.

    I am getting irritated at the amount of time I spend cleaning. Its driving me nuts.

    But as for working out...wahhh...

    I have a hard time with change. Just this shift in my day has me exhausted. Its a mental exhaustion...add in the unusual heat here in WA...and I just feel heavy.

    Trying to figure out how I can get motivated. Again.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  27. #117
    Believe In Yourself vanessa40's Avatar
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    I have a hard time with change. I always have..i love routine. I plan my days out in advance(which is easy since i don't work and my child is going to be 26 next month..lol)
    I hear so many ladies my age (48) depressed,talking about how their lives are over since their children are grown,the whole empty nest thing..i love this time in my life. I mean it was wonderful when Brittany was young. we had so much fun together,it was like you are now..very busy but looking back those were some wonderful times. I am not sure how old you are but i know you are no where close to my age..but i am sure you will look back to and treasure all this..

    Wow three children..really..i am not sure i could have handled two. I am sure you will a great mom no matter how many you have..i remember growing up the people that lived next door had six girls and the people across the street had six boys.. I always thought that was funny..it was like they both kept having kids trying to have the one they didn't have .. I would have stopped trying at three.

    Oh and i love your journal..i don't care if you never post another workout.. I just enjoy it
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  28. #118
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vanessa40 View Post
    I have a hard time with change. I always have..i love routine. I plan my days out in advance(which is easy since i don't work and my child is going to be 26 next month..lol)
    I hear so many ladies my age (48) depressed,talking about how their lives are over since their children are grown,the whole empty nest thing..i love this time in my life. I mean it was wonderful when Brittany was young. we had so much fun together,it was like you are now..very busy but looking back those were some wonderful times. I am not sure how old you are but i know you are no where close to my age..but i am sure you will look back to and treasure all this..
    I am 30 I still have a hard time remembering I am on my 3rd decade of life! Ha! I survived my 20's despite myself lol!
    I don't know if I will have an empty nest episode. I do know that before Lil Bit I loved my me time, but I also felt something was missing. Around age 28 nothing really seemed to fill that void...and I am not saying that its the same for everyone, but having a kid really got me going again. She gave me a purpose that was far greater than anything else I had ever gone after.
    I will totally treasure this.
    Wow three children..really..i am not sure i could have handled two. I am sure you will a great mom no matter how many you have..i remember growing up the people that lived next door had six girls and the people across the street had six boys.. I always thought that was funny..it was like they both kept having kids trying to have the one they didn't have .. I would have stopped trying at three.
    haha he surprised me with that one. I tease about wanting 5 (adopt 2-3) and living on a farm with lots of land <--I think that would make me very happy and give me a fulfilling life. He used to shake his head, but now I think he enjoys it more than he expected. We will start with 2
    Oh and i love your journal..i don't care if you never post another workout.. I just enjoy it
    Aww thank you. I had tried to blog on other sites, but they never felt right. I am glad you read along.
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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  29. #119
    Uncarved Block Megin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by serinebean View Post
    I had tried to blog on other sites, but they never felt right..
    ^^ For some reason, bb.com is the only place that feels like 'home'




    ----
    And I'm 30 now too .. booooo
    I see all these 20 somethings running around and I feel like I fit right in with them .. but I don't! Lol


    Ugghhh.. caffeine hasn't kicked in yet. Will come back to write more when it wakes me up enough

    zzzzzzzz
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    Whats more important is that you test the waters. You share the story.. you add a different aspect to your recovery..

    Leap and the net will appear..
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  30. #120
    I do what I want serinebean's Avatar
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    Grandpa actually called. Woah now. But wanted to meet a week out and at a restaurant. We live 5 mins away....weird. Just wish me strength of mind and presence here. I am going to deflect negative conversation and focus on their life and my life, and keep the other family gossip out of our meeting. <--then I wonder what there really is to say?

    Aunt wrote back too. I invited her over to meet Lil Bit I am not going to break her heart over a fight that isn't mine. Also, I owe it to her to hear her end of the story. I feel bad for pushing her away without listening. I also had my reasons.

    Moms old friend is coming over thurs...she is my God mother, and has yet to see Lil Bit...

    So I have really packed in my week with some stressful moments...but it all has to happen.

    Workout:
    Pilates.
    No walks...too hot by the time I get off work...and I get too busy stress cleaning to think straight

    Baked a 3 layer lemon, blueberry cake, with cream cheese frosting. Shared it with my friend and her husband. Felt good to share a masterpiece. Betty Crocker who?

    Positive thoughts:
    I got my first pay check. Gave my boss a strawberry decorated vase because her whole house is strawberry themed lol and she LOVED it. Got to see a tiny baby...makes my heart flutter. And my flowers are doing amazing.

    Hope you all are doing well and keeping cool! Enjoy your day!
    "Choice is ours whether
    we become victim or victor!!"

    "You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches...."
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