Mr4wdtrds survival game! (GTFIH for mod reps) srs

[mr4wdTRD]

Ok, here is this weeks scenario. I will award 3 mod reps to the 3 responses I deem the best. Don't get all butt hurt if you don't get repped. Try again next time. I'll try to do one of these each week for the lols.

The more lol and creative you can be, the better.



This weeks survival scenario!


After a long days work, working construction, you and your crew get ready to head home for the day.

Your employer took a contract gutting and renovating a very well known, and mysterious abandoned Mental asylum from the 1920s.

The locals claim it's haunted, and many people have gone missing without a trace when exploring the ruins.

Before you get in your truck to head home to plow the gf with the force of 87 wildabeasts, you get the sudden and violent urge to shit but not just any, like finch from American pie type of diahrrea. Nothing can stop you from finding a toilet asap.

You fly back into the building just in time to hear the foreman yell, "ey yo the auto locks will lock at 5:30 and you won't be able to get out until 6am the following morning!"

Looking down at your Mickey Mouse watch, the big hand is on the 3, little hand on the 5. (5:15 *******s) so you realize you've got 15 minutes.

As you slam your angus onto the dusty porcelain, and pull out your phone to play games you realize you don't have service and the screen is fading in and out like an old tv does... Weird.

You fixate on your phone trying to fix t and before you know it.... You hear "CLANG! Eeerrrrkkkkkk CLANG"

The doors are locked, there is absolutely no way to escape. You have a flashlight, a hammer, a monkey wrench, and a bean burrito from lunch.

That's when the noises start... Screams, howling, nails scratching, things breaking, all getting closer by the second.

Assuming the asylum is truly haunted, and people actually Have gone missing...


describe in detail your plan of survival

[pWally]

Get naked.

Place flashlight on ground pointing in my direction

Smear bean burrito all over my naked body

Wrench in one hand, hammer in the other.

Get into half squat attack position

Wait for evil haunted spirits to come

Watch them leave in pure horror at the sight of me.

Wait for daylight.

[footballbrah]

[Jamielak]

Stay in room where the deed(chit) was done
As this would surely have some warding abilities

Smear body in chit and after eatting the burrito begin gradually chiting around the asylum to both ward off lehaunters and establish alpha male status

Use wrench and hammer as weights so I look more intimidating with dat dere mad pump






Also being from 1920s ghosts would undoubtingly be manlets and would be unable to approach their 6ft masterace superior

[jdogg772000]

In...

[apolloman]

In,

Assuming the asylum is actually haunted by a super natural being, you have one of two options.

1. Escape. I've read a lot of crazy articles on the super natural. Its thought that many of these "Beings" if you will, are very territorial. Some bond may hold them there and protecting it is the only connection they have left with the real world. If this is the case, and there is truly no escape as the OP mentioned in his scenario (I don't want to make up some secret underground passage or random escape hatch) then you're fuked. Make peace with whatever god you pray to, you're going to meet him. The only other thing I can think of is, well the doors are controlled by and electronically timed lock right? There has to be a source of power somewhere (hopefully) inside the asylum, find it, cut the power.

2. A Task. This being may have been waiting for someone, someone special to release it from the torment that holds it to this world. Something in the asylum will not let it pass to the after life, and because it can only interact with the physical realm in an indirect manner, it needs a catalyst, ME, to compete whatever is holding it back. I'm hoping this is the option and I will listen the the clues the being gives me and figure out the mystery that haunts the asylum. It could be anything, a world famous Doctor may have worked there and been abusing/raping/experimenting on the patients. The spirit may have been one of the victims, and wants the truth to be told. Or it could have been a patient with a story he/she wishes to tell the world, and deep inside is a letter it wrote many decades ago, listen and it may lead you there.

Who knows OP, either way, with the tools you have given us, and the circumstances you've given (no escape) we are really at the mercy of the asylum and whatever lurks within. There is really no use in hiding.

[amm165]

First, I would throw the bean burrito away because I'd be so scared and I'm gonna chit my pants anyways, wouldn't wanna make it worse.


Then I would shove the hammer up my Angus for safe keeping. If it's truly haunted you eother stay and die, or try everything you have to get out so I'd leave and try and find a room with a window. Assuming I'm dumb and forgot they board their Windows. I'd give up and try and hide under the bed clinching my wrench. When they come for me I'd put the wrench down then in a matrix like fashion, pull out my hidden hammer and they'd never see it coming.

Would get out with minor cutts, maybe a limp depending on the hammer size, and some soggy underwear

[lazi]

I'd smear my chit all over myself, like Arnold did in Predator. Everybody knows ghosts see in heat signature, so I'd be invisible.

Then I'd troll the ghosts, they'd be like WTF is there a type of ghost that is a ghost of ghosts?

Would be an awkward morning when that door swings open tho.

[Occy]

Eat burrito, use fleshlight, sleep until morning.


Edit: I see it is a flashlight...

[Mudshovel]

I got repped last week. Will try again in a few weeks.

[DP197]

tl;dr

cliffs?

[Jayballer22]

Ok. Here is what I'd Do.

Immediately, i would eat half of the burrito. Yum.


Next i would place the other half of the burrito on the ground with the flashlight turned on sitting there facing it.

If there are starving people in there, one is sure to walk over and try to eat the burrito.

I am a strong person, i lift heavy and will easily overpower a weak and dying man. The second he pics up the burrito i will lunge at him and eat his throat.

Face dripping with blood, i pick up the flashlight and hold it from below so it shines on my face and i say "Consider me the shepherd that leads the animals to the cliff. If you thought for a second that your existence up to this point has been a bad dream, allow me to introduce myself..... i am your worst nightmare." I would then turn off the light.

Everything would be quiet and i would just sit in a corner and relax until sunrise.


Das it mane.


If nothing tries to eat the burrito, i sit there until the daytime.

[LikeAMachine]

I would have just pooped my pants. My GF would understand.

[KloWnZ]

ok.

[mr4wdTRD]

tl;dr

cliffs?

Don't play if you want cliffs jerk

[Bandingo]

Smear my own feces on myself. Nothing in this world wants to get close to the smell of my pudding. Strip naked achieve an erection and walk out like a chit stained boss ready to wreak havoc on the demons with my wrench in hand.

[PastorGaines]

inn

[SenorMachoPepe]

in.

[compan]

these should be good.

Is the trouble maker still inside the angus at the time of the clanking?

[bulkdbrah]

If the asylum is haunted, then I assume it refers to being haunted by a super natural being. If this is the case, then your only objective is escaping. No use in forging weapons or trying to fortify yourself in a room because they are fuking ghosts. Those ghostly demons will come through the wall and rape you. I would assume the building has windows so I'm not sure why you couldn't escape. Even if they were barred or blocked you could use the hammer or monkey wrench to break out.

If there is indeed no way to escape then better just pepper thy angus.

[WSG1]

Eat the bean burrito and fart a hole into the wall.

[PAU1]

I'll use the bean burrito from lunch to make a gaseous cloud of protection in the smallest room I can find, probably the can as I've brewed up a strong defense already. I'll turn on the flashlight when it's dark so I can see the look on ghost dad's face when he catches a wiff.

[mr4wdTRD]

If the asylum is haunted, then I assume it refers to being haunted by a super natural being. If this is the case, then your only objective is escaping. No use in forging weapons or trying to fortify yourself in a room because they are fuking ghosts. Those ghostly demons will come through the wall and rape you. I would assume the building has windows so I'm not sure why you couldn't escape. Even if they were barred or blocked you could use the hammer or monkey wrench to break out.

If there is indeed no way to escape then better just pepper thy angus.

The old mental asylums had bars on the windows.

Srs I explored one when I was growing up. Creepy as fuk

[Procta]

1) eat burrito
2) pray it doesnt give me the chits
3) ????????
4) profit

[point-guard]

i'll take off all my clothes,lie down on the floor and unleash my diarrhoea on the floor. i'll then sleep naked amongst my fecal matters. come at me brah

[Bandingo]

The old mental asylums had bars on the windows.

Srs I explored one when I was growing up. Creepy as fuk

Creepy as phuk. Where was this asylum? Name of institution?

[Bodybuild3]

I'll eat the burrito to make me tired, then turn the flash light on (ghosts = scared of light..i hope) and knock myself out w/ the hammer so I am not scared of the random noises. Hopefully, I am out until morning

---
plan 2:

Eat burrito, and use it to fart so the demons don't want to get near me.
If that fails, use the flashlight to make scare shadow puppets to ward off the ghosts.
Not need for the hammer or wretch

[FalconPunchBrah]

In to get this

[Jallalabadbad]

get naked
smear the bean burrito all over my body
put the flashlight up my angus and switch it on
wave hammer around wildly
work on the premise that I look so mental nobody in there would want to fuk with me

[kitpapa]

well I throw the burrito away, cause seriously if it weren't for that damn thing I wouldn't be locked in here in the first place!!!!

Then I use the flashlight like a strobe light therapy to turn the ghosts into mindless zombie like ghost people and begin banging my hanger and wrench on pipes to create musical rythms where...of course.....

ALL OF THEM TURN INTO DANCING MANIACS and it looks like the set of "thriller". We party all through the night and with the mornings light, my new friends vaporize and as the doors unlock I walk out with a smile on my face and yellow eyes