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Thread: Fresh start.

  1. #1
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Fresh start.

    Fresh start. I don't want to go digging out a thread of disappointment after disappointment. Going to hit it hard this time.

    Aims:

    Q1 2020
    Sub 14s 25m (19s as of Oct 19)
    Sub 30s 50m (38s as of Oct 19)
    Sub 2:30 200m (3:00 as of Oct 19)
    Sub 5:45 400m (Not benchmarked yet)

    Q2 2020
    Top 3 in 1500m Swim (3rd in 2019)
    Top 20 in 9km Swim (Never competed at this distance)

    Q3 2020
    Top 50 in 3300m Swim (67/2667 in 2019)

    Q4 2020
    Undecided

    Naturally I have lifting aims and weight loss aims, but I can't set 2020 goals until I complete 2019.

    All I know for sure is that 93.2kg is too much, and I am sorting this **** out.

    Goodbye excess weight, goodbye eating disorder. Hello massive action.
    Leukemia 09-12
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  2. #2
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Good start - now that the last binge is out of my system I've dropped to 91kg.

    Aim is 1kg a month - anything more becomes too drastic a cut and I typically end up bingeing really badly. Plus, training aims - can't afford to be weak when I'm busting my ass doing sprints.
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  3. #3
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CBRIT89 View Post
    Aims:

    Q1 2020
    Sub 14s 25m (19s as of Oct 19)
    Sub 30s 50m (38s as of Oct 19)
    Sub 70s 100m (87s as of Oct 19)
    Sub 2:30 200m (3:00 as of Oct 19)
    Sub 5:45 400m (Not benchmarked yet)
    25m now 16s
    50m now 36s
    100m now 77s

    Don't know what my weight is and don't particularly care, all I know is that I am a little slimmer than I was and I feel fitter.

    Went bouldering last week for the first time ever, and found I really enjoyed it. Got a membership with them...

    Also went to a swim club for the first time in 15 years, and enjoyed that as well. Got a membership here as well!

    Bouldering 2x a week, swim club 3x a week, weights 3x a week.
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  4. #4
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Decided to weigh myself.

    91.9kg today.

    It's lower than a month ago, and I'm lifting more than a month ago. Things are moving in the right direction.

    I could be at my goal weight in 5 months without doing anything drastic. That's the key.
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  5. #5
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Having weighed yesterday, I wanted to get a comparison and average by weighing again.

    91.2kg today.

    Rest day today, boulder and swim club tomorrow. They'll be killer workouts again.
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  6. #6
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    90.9kg

    Bouldering AM
    Cycle commute AM/PM
    Swim Club PM

    160g protein, which is 1g/lb of LBM, 2400 calories for the day. Deficit of 800-1000, so I'll adjust up a bit tomorrow.
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  7. #7
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    Swim club on Wednesday was cancelled due to a code brown earlier in the day, so I did a solo technique session in another pool.

    Had swim club yesterday and it was a brutal workout. Really pushing the limits of what my body can do from a sprint perspective as I'm an endurance swimmer.

    Weight today: 90kg
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  8. #8
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Continued with the normal fitness routine, and weight has continued to drop.

    Weight today: 89.8kg

    I'm down nearly 3.5kg now, which means the water weight element has gone and I'm actually losing real weight now.

    Consistently eating high protein meals, and turning down desserts and treats. I've got three days in London ahead of me, and no possibility of cooking my own food - this is the first big challenge I'm facing in terms of having overcome binge eating disorder.

    I'm over 2 weeks clean, and determined not to let myself fall back into bad habits.
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  9. #9
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    Today was the toughest day in the last three weeks.

    Colleagues bought big pizzas each, and I really struggled as they looked and smelt amazing.

    I then spent 30 minutes looking for somewhere to eat for my evening meal, eventually settling for burger (without bun, mayo, slaw or cheese) and fries as it's just meat and potatoes really.

    I have to eat breakfast on the run and that meant buying food this evening. I've gone for a Clif bar as it's 9g of protein and an easy 260 calories, and quite filling.

    Who knows what my lunch and dinner will be - I'm supposed to be schmoozing and networking at a drinks reception in early evening. I'll be stone cold sober.

    TL;DR - I'm really struggling today, but have made it through. If I can just get through this trip away then I'll know I can make it.
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  10. #10
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    Good luck mate
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  11. #11
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    Thanks, having another tough day and have been snacking a little too much as there are so many great little nibbles at this conference.

    Figure I've eaten 2000 calories so far today. That leaves me with 700 more for the day unless I go to the gym and burn some more. I should be able to get through the next 5 hours with just the one meal ...
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  12. #12
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Had a binge episode. I sometimes struggle with travelling, and two nights alone in a hotel room was not good for me.

    I'm back on it again today, and have done far less damage that I would normally - a binge is often 5-7 days of 7000+ calories, so it's an improvement to have only had one really bad day of +8000 calories.

    I can fix this in a week...
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  13. #13
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    50m down to 34.6 now. Less than 5 seconds to find for my 2020 overall goal.

    Probably weigh in at 91kg tomorrow after my binge.
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  14. #14
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Cats out the bag now. My family are now aware of my binge eating disorder, and I'm going to see the Doctor about it next month.

    I feel this is the corner I needed to turn. Given that I have put on 10lbs of muscle this year whilst eating ****, I'd like to think that I can achieve my 2020 goals with the support of my family.
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  15. #15
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    4 days clean. Weighed in at 90.5kg this morning - 0.6kg up on my lowest weigh in of the year. Considering my bad binge 5 and 6 days back, i call that a major win.
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  16. #16
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    90.6kg today. Did ICF Workout B today, lifts remained constant. Happy enough with that - could have pushed a little harder but swim club tonight, and again tomorrow.

    Today will be 5 days binge free.
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  17. #17
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    90kg today and going for 6 days binge free.

    Sucked at swim practice yesterday - really didn't have it in me. It's all about the process though - I know the training works, and it will deliver results. I just have to look longer term - I've found the big chunks of time, and now it's about whittling it down over weeks and months.
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  18. #18
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    91.6kg today, and I'm hoping that some of that is water weight etc rather than fat gain. Obviously four days in Italy and their food wasn't good for me, but I felt as though I had eaten better than a 3lb gain.

    Hoping for 91kg tomorrow and then 90kg again in a week.
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  19. #19
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    Hit 100kg on my bench press today, which is an improvement of 50kg in 5 months.

    Weight is 94.1kg right now as I've had an ankle injury, was unable to exercise, binged a few times and then Christmas.

    Back on track atm.
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  20. #20
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    93.5kg

    1750m Swim + 250m Kickboard

    Return to swim club in a week, and I am determined to be 92kg or less. I don't want to go back there having increased the size of my muffin top - it's just embarrassing.
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  21. #21
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    This thread is an embarrassing reminder of how I fail and succumb to depression and my eating disorder over and over again.

    I'm 99.2kg, down from 100.8kg. No aims of getting to a certain weight right now - just trying to exercise regularly.

    19/02/20

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  22. #22
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    22/2 - 98.4kg

    Push ups - 4x12
    Bench - 3x10 @80kg
    Chest fly - 4x10 @6kg
    Skullcrusher - 4x10 @6kg
    Dumbbell bench - 3x10 @12.5kg
    Pushups - 2x12
    Kickbacks - 3x10 @10kg

    Protein shake before and after, so 40g of protein by midday.
    Yoghurt and mango for breakfast.
    Eggs on toast with chicken for lunch.
    Tofu curry in the evening.
    Protein shake to finish the day and ensure I'm somewhere near 100g of protein.
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  23. #23
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
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    24/2

    Weight: 97kg

    Eat/drink:
    Porridge+raisins (380c)
    2x Chicken burger and stir fried veg (400c)
    Greek yoghurt (200c)
    Grapes (120c)
    Protein shake x2 (250c)
    Toast+Bolognese mix (500c)
    Creatine
    Fruit juice (50c)

    Exercise:
    Swimming - sprint training, 2400m

    Feeling so freaking good about today. Normally I would have gone to the shops, bought a cheesecake, pizza, coke, granola slices, donuts... About 10,000 calories and then smash it all in the space of an hour. **** binge eating. Held strong today.
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  24. #24
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    25/2

    Weight:
    95.8kg (dehydration)

    Food/drink:
    Eggs on sourdough toast
    Carrots and hummus
    Veggie curry and rice
    Yoghurt snack
    Dinner TBD

    Exercise:
    Back, biceps and abs. (Will update later)
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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  25. #25
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2018
    Posts: 206
    Rep Power: 2139
    CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000)
    CBRIT89 is offline
    Last night's workout was a shocker. I completed it, but I was ruined before I even started...

    Anyways - as noted yesterday I was dehydrated and therefore my weight was a lot lower, and now it's back to normal.

    Weight:
    96.5kg

    Exercise:
    Cycling - 2x 8 mile commute
    Swimming - 1 hour sprint set

    Food:
    3 eggs, sourdough toast, beans and a sausage.
    200g Greek yoghurt.
    Chicken and vegetables
    Eggs on toast
    2x protein shake.

    Really struggling for food this week as I've not been doing food prep on the weekend as I would normally. Still, I'm hitting the right numbers.
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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  26. #26
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2018
    Posts: 206
    Rep Power: 2139
    CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000)
    CBRIT89 is offline
    Weight:
    95.2kg (dehydrated)

    Exercise:
    Shoulders and abs routine

    Eat/Drink:
    Chicken snack
    Protein shake x2
    Greek yoghurt and grapes
    Mackerel salad
    Roasted veg w/ veggie sausage

    All in all around 2400 calories today, which is spot on really.

    4 weeks until my first swimming event of the season, and since a work colleague is there I don't want to look as fat as I do right now. That's motivation.
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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  27. #27
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2018
    Posts: 206
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    CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000)
    CBRIT89 is offline
    Thing going really well right now - home gym is paying for itself right now, and I'm managing to ride every morning.

    Not weighing myself at the moment as I'm pretty sure it's detrimental to my binge eating cycles. Lockdown potential on the horizon may yet be a massive benefit to me if I am unable to go out and buy the type of food I would binge on, and I'm also with my wife 24/7 and have support on hand whenever I want it.

    Special thanks to the loser for neg'ing me because I "look like a quintessential soyboy" whatever that is - thanks for taking the time to check in on my thread and give me compliments.
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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  28. #28
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2018
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    CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000)
    CBRIT89 is offline
    44 miles on the bike in the last two days, and 6 workouts in the gym in the last 9 days.

    Back in the gym tomorrow, and continuing the programme.

    The thing that's really driving me on right now is that I won't see my colleagues and family in person for another 3 weeks at least, and I know I can look totally different by then.
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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  29. #29
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2018
    Posts: 206
    Rep Power: 2139
    CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000)
    CBRIT89 is offline
    Looking slimmer in the mirror, can tell I have lost weight. Workouts seem to be going well as I am either upping weight, reps or simply recovering faster.

    Will cycle 20 miles today, plus do the next workout on my programme which is back and biceps.
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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  30. #30
    Ex-Skinny Cyclist CBRIT89's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2018
    Posts: 206
    Rep Power: 2139
    CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000) CBRIT89 is just really nice. (+1000)
    CBRIT89 is offline
    17 days of clean eating now, which is the most I have managed in quite some time. I'm still having a single chocolate each day, which helps keep me sane and keep the cravings away.

    The other big change I have made is that I am having two protein shakes a day. This is actually keeping me fuller for longer, which as a general rule I haven't felt previously.

    At the moment I am the most confident I have ever been about beating my eating disorder. Hopefully I can keep the stresses away and avoid triggering anything that sets me back.
    Leukemia 09-12
    Brain haemorrhage 09
    Hip replacements 10 & 11
    Eating Disorder 16-20
    Trying to fix my life.
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